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Tales of the eRabbits

Splat

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Sep 2, 2019, 10:35 PM
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Tales of the eRabbits

Drama over the Ladder (JJ2 fanfic)

YEAR: 2019
POPULATION: 16 out of 20 maximum possible occupants inside the war tavern building

Kyshal entered the war tavern, with his friend Luxroth. They sat down on stools, and a bartender walked up to them, asking them if they would like to buy something to drink.

"Hi, how are you? Can I please get a ginger ale mixed with beet juice mixed with carrot juice?" said Kyshal.

The bartender rabbit said "Sure, that is $1. And how about you?" he looked at Luxroth.

"Can I just get lemon juice? asked Luxroth.

"Ok, that is also $1," said the bartender.

Luxroth and Kyshal got the drinks, drank them, paid and thanked the war tavern people; then, they went outside. The war tavern building was right next to a road on the side of a mountain. On the other side of the road was looking up at a mountainous cliff, and behind the building was looking down over the side of a mountainous cliff. Luxroth thought if they went out the back entrance of the war tavern, they would fall off a cliff. However if they crossed the road, they would be forced to go rock climbing.

They went to the parking lot in front of the building, and got on their hoverboards. "Do you want another cigarette?" Luxroth offered to Kyshal. He handed him a cigarette; they lit them and smoked.

Kyshal lolled, "haha, do you think that team Carrotus will beat team Diamondius in turtle shell soccer next week?"

Luxroth replied after a few seconds, "Yes, Carrotus has the best shooters. Diamondius has only one player who knows how to play. Carrotus has Exlawlidumbth, Mortabibluxonium, and three of the best goalkeepers. We will definitely beat Diamondius, dude. The rest of Diamondius are noobs, besides their flying lizard."

After hearing that, Kyshal laughed harder and smiled. "Alright, do you want to go down to Bhutanical Garden and listen to music?"

"Yeah, man, definitely," Luxroth said. "I have the new [album] Diamondus Warzone Blues by DJ Weapon 0. We could listen to that."

They put on the first song, as they hoverboarded back down the road to eventually reach a grassy field in the middle of Mountaintown. There, they put their music playing speaker device, onto a table and sat on an attached bench, to continue listening.

I got a lot of grass, but the cows like to eat it
The monkeys like to cut it, and the ants like to treat it
I'm a jackrabbit, don't imply that I'm a rabbit
Or my rabbit girlfriend is gonna whack you with a gadget
When you got grass, you like to smoke you some flowers
Like to drink a lot of potions, and complain about your problems

If you got coins, you gotta spend a lot of moneys
Gotta buy some power ups, gotta buy some new TVs
My rabbit girlfriend, she likes to watch anime
Watch cartoons all day, then she comes to me to say
All I ever do is sit on the computer and play
So I'm like, let's go outside and watch the grass grow


Kyshal said, "these lyrics are confounding, but the guitar and drums are so cool," as the song continued. But then all of a sudden, it started raining, so they put the speaker away and left. Luxroth and Kyshal departed, walking in opposite directions to their respective homes. Walking down the street, Luxroth remembered the sound of that one song, hoping to listen to the rest of the album later. He thought about the possibility of playing turtle shell soccer later after it stopped raining. Maybe that would be later on in the afternoon, or maybe it would be tomorrow.

'Who knew?' he thought. 'Who could possibly predict the time at which it would stop raining? The weather mutator, I guess' he guessed. He slightly laughed internally at the point of having to consider so hard where he could find a weather forecast, but found self-redemption upon realizing he knew the answer within less than one millisecond of thinking of his question to himself.

Then when he was about to open the door to his house, he realized -- he had forgotten his hoverboard in the grass! He remembered seeing Luxroth carry his away from the field, and realized his own hoverboard must still be in the grass. So, he turned around to go get it. It was annoying to have to walk all the way back because he forgot something.

But when he looked to the table where they had been sitting, his hoverboard was missing! He knew it had to have moved to somewhere, somehow, at some point in time since they had left earlier. The thought sank into his head, that he might have lost his hoverboard. But as he looked around, he saw it! It was sitting on top of a ladder, some meters from the table. Kyshal looked at it on top of the ladder, and wondered how he could get it down. If he had his hoverboard, he could just fly up and grab it, but the problem was his hoverboard was out of reach already.

Luckily, there was a tree nearby, so Kyshal just climbed the tree, walked out across a tree branch to get closer to the top of the ladder, and grabbed the hoverboard, reaching from the side of the tree branch, through the sky and bringing the hoverboard over to him with his front paws. Then he jumped from the branch onto the hoverboard, and floated down back to the grass.




Jazz Trek: Strawberry Surprise [fanfic]

Jazz sat on his bed, in his quarters. He looked across the room, and saw a cookbook he'd been using, maybe half a week ago, to prepare some turtle soup for some alien guests onboard from another galaxy. Those aliens were somewhat rabbitoid, but had eyes more like flies; and, they did not practice reproduction by mating like rabbits; rather, these aliens known as Xzrythionz grew on trees like low hanging fruit, their ears being offshoots of tree branches.

Jazz had offered some turtle soup to that small party of Xzrythions, but the alien guests found Jazz's home cooking as unappealing. They chose instead to just have a raw grass dish, from the replicator. Recalling that meal from a few days ago, Jazz thought it'd be satisfying to prepare his own raw grass dish, in the kitchen of his Starship Winaprize, and see if it'd be any better, worse, or same as the replicated version.

The only issue there was he would have to collect fresh grasses from some planet, as he didn't have those ingredients on the Winaprize. So, he located the closest planet with viable specimens of fress grasses, and then commanded an away team to harvest some grasses. The optimal planet of choice was one called XDD-550, and it hosted no populations of animal life, except for the occasional visits from observational research groups. XDD-550 was, however, home to several types of edible grasses: Jazz found some pencilgrass, wiregrass, flagpolegrass, and some pentagongrass. He returned to the Winaprize unassumingly peacefully, carrying with him bags of ready-to-cook assorted grasses.

However, he never intended to cook these grasses, just to prepare a raw grass dish. So, in the kitchen, he thoroughly rinsed the grasses, and put them in a dish. ‘GG,’ he thought, ‘this is going to be very tasty.’

But surprisingly, when he poured ketchup onto the bowl of raw grass…

The grass bled…

It bled more and more…

“What the fuck, what the fuck!?” Jazz cried in despair, alone in the kitchen. (The rest of the crew wasn't hungry at the time, leaving Jazz to his own cooking devices.)

He stared in horror as red blood flowed from the green grass, like lava from a volcano. This type of incident was not unorthodox in Jazz's career as a chef, but he continually was disturbed by the unexpected nature of his failures in cooking.

Strangely, the grassblood began to take on a form of its own, essentially starting to form into a shape. Jazz recognized the pattern in formation, and his attempt to visually focus on it, reduced his hysteria. It appeared that the grassblood had grown into a strawberry! And Jazz thought its scent fantastical!!!!!!

When the strawberry had been fully grown and aged 30 seconds, Jazz realized that by letting nature take its course, his raw grass dish had evolved into raw grass topped with ketchup and a strawberry. He took the bowl to the dining area, and took the first byte.

‘Wow, the strawberry really adds some texture and flavor,’ thought Jazz, ‘this dish would've never evolved in the replicator.’

After eating, and cleaning up the kitchen, Jazz made a captains' log entry noting the whereabouts of these aforementioned grassy ingredients.

“Let it beknownst to all that the planet world XDD-550 hath only thy finest of grasses for the making of raw grass topped with ketchup and a strawberry, ye only need to add the ketchup to the grassies in a bowl, and the strawberry shalt take it upon itself to grow, creating a marvelous work of culinary art, that should entertain both the tastebuds, and the scentbuds.”
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