BBoy got the 1000th post, I get 1000th reply. (I didn't want to double post back on 999)

"...have a personality contest. Bartenders, as a rule, are supposed to be kind and understanding, and listen to your life's story as you drink something you hopefully paid for."
There was some approval until the rabbit with the irish accent jumped up and requested a beauty contest, with all the contestants in so much clothing no skin was viewable.
"A kilt contest!" cried Slayer, just to get Cobra mad at him.
"A tournament!" cried Firesword, juberantly. "We shall sign up then shoot stuff at each other, and the winner gets to be bartender and pay for all the damage caused by the tournament!"
"YAY!!!!" cried some random idiot, and the cheer was taken up by anyone who didn't care what they were cheering about, and one or two who did.
"This tournament is NOT a good idea." said Ducky, resolutely. "Even if the bartender paid for the damage, who would want to engage in psychotic fighting with their fellow 'Tavern-goers?
There was some nervous shuffling of feet, as the 'Taverners felt obligatory embarrassment, then stampeded towards the signup sheet, which BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ quickly held up in the air above most paws. "Wait, wait! To add a little plot to this contest, so it's not just mindless shooting at each other, I propose a condition. You can not particiapate without some mega weapon from far off places!" Still many faces were non-comittal, so BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ hurridly added "..that you didn't have before!"
This led to public outcry, as may have been expected. Especially from Tyf.

He, being Ancoysnd for refrence points, need only contact ANTE-TUBBES, or whoever was manning the portable videophone back at Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. over portable videophone for help!
Hurridly, he broke the gum around one hand, and pulled out the portable videophone, in case you didn't guess. Holding down the "transmit" button, and waiting for the minature video camera to pop out, Ancoysnd began his plea for help.
"ANTE-TUBBES, or whoever is manning the portable videophone back at Happy Puppy Pickle Inc, help! While on my way to get my promotion job interview, I was captured by running gag police and a BeBop Cola machine, who are taking me away to get another job that I can't keep! No, this isn't an excuse to get me out of going to work today. HELP!"
Naturally, the guards didn't notice Ancoysnd's distress call.

Originally posted by Unknown Rabbit
BBoy got the 1000th post, I get 1000th reply. (I didn't want to double post back on 999)

I did? Cool!

Sorry, but I don't understand what the deal is with the Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. thing. Probably cuz I missed reading bunch of pages in the past. :-\

Abridged history of Ancoysnd (formerly called Ancoysd, but the spelling got convulted), the odd jobs man:
Some time ago, Freelance was one of the regulars at the 'Tavern, along with his other half, Alantrium. But they both went away for a while. Alantrium somehow became the Golden Knight, a movie star in a future earth, who is miraculously still there. Freelance returned briefly on a horse when everyone was in GenEX's brain, (just missing Alantrium as the Golden Knight, also on a horse) but the War Tavern was destroyed again, so he kept going. He left his horse there (which later got into LoTR) and went off somewhere to start a new life, which, after some thinking, he called himself Ancoysnd in.
Ancoysnd got several jobs, such as AMAZING MAN! the super hero, by Opposition Publishing Co. Inc. AMAZING GUY! was a comic book hero, who then went to the War Tavern with glasses making all his former friends look like monsters, and ended up almost beating them up until his glasses got broken, at which point he killed GenEX (who was later brought back to life by ULTRA NURSE!'s sidekick Cutey Pie, who would later die and be replaced by Hesheit) and ran away to get a new job, after being fired by ANTI-TUBBS, aka ANTE-TUBBES, who was evil then but no longer.
(The following was part of an erased timeline)
Ancyosnd was then involved, through no fault of his own, with Batty Buddy, Kovu, and some BeBop Cola machines. He got loose, and became temporary head of Nintendo, and set about making JJ3-5 before getting a stroke from watching Kazooie run around at breakneck speeds, causing him to be taken to the hospital.
(End of erased timeline)
He then got a job at Happy Puppy Pickle Co. Inc., doing various things. At one point, being a good employee, he dressed up as the Easter Bunny for Easter, and accidentally blew up the ground in front of the War Tavern.
That brings us approximately to where he is now, being captured by Running Gag Police.

Abridged history of Happy Puppy Pickle Co.:
First appearance of Happy Puppy Pickle Co. was in the erased timeline, with Kovu getting the job there instead of Ancoysnd. He and an employee called Charlie tried to deliver a bunch of pickles to the War Tavern, but the truck exploded (due to the pickles actually being bombs) and both went flying. Charlie got mixed up with Ducky, Cobra, Unknown and the assistant of the evil guy at the hospital Ancoysnd got taken to, while Kovu landed on Adventure Island and had an adventure with Disguise and Shigeru Miyamoto.
Later in the erased timeline, ANTI-TUBBS (who was in charge of it, and then still evil) sent three Happy Puppy Pickle Employees (whose names all began with B as in Boring) to an explosion site, to wait for Tubbs and kill him when he got there. They left just before he arrived, however, and got stepped on by Arncecroc.
Happy Puppy Pickle was again briefly mentioned in the really big fight just before the universe blew up (in the erased timeline), as ANTI-TUBBS and some Happy Puppy Pickle zombies showed up in it.
It then got mentioned briefly again saying that Ancoysnd got the job at Happy Puppy Pickle instead of Kovu (first mention in the existing timeline). Ancoysnd then, as was mentioned earlier, accidentally blew a hole in the ground in front of the War Tavern, dressed as the Easter Bunny promoting Happy Puppy Pickle Co. Pickles.
Sometime later, during the Hardware Store quest, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ bought ten boxes of Happy Puppy Pickle Co. Pickles, in order to get an inflatable limousine.
Most recent mention is now, with Ancoysnd being carried away from his interview for job promotion at Happy Puppy Pickle Co.
Note: Happy Puppy Pickle gets called either Co., Inc., or Co. Inc.

*Whew!* Okay thanks

"But I don't WANT to go on another adventure!" Tyf kept saying, over and over, distraught. Various rabbits tried to calm her by saying "so don't particiapate", but got a harsh look in response.
"Oh, yes, and to make it even more insanely complicated, I have a small list here of superweapons that can not be used due to various inherent flaws!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, unrolling a sheath of paper. One by one, he began to call out superweapon names.
"Laser shark gun, Planetkiller 4,000, Weedwhacker 2,000, LFG 80,000,000,000, Grim Death XY, Rofer, Jihad Blower V3, Ultimate Nightmare Inducer.."

(two hours later)

"..Rafter Knocker, Plasma Utensils, the Barney Song, Pez dispensers, Quasi Powerful Paperweight, the Death Star, and the Diamondus Blaster!"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked worridly around at the sleeping faces, and then cleared his throat importantly. "Weapon searching time starts now, though not too late to sign up late! All particiapants must be back within 31 days, or they will be Disqualified!"
A few light sleepers sat bolt upright, disloging the not quite so light sleepers, causing them to sit bolt upright, accidentally crashing into a giant cymbal which woke up the not at all light sleepers. The ones whose wish to win the tournament, or just own a cool superweapon and have particiapated in the tournament had vanquished their opposition to going on an adventure darted through the door, despite it being closed.

BBoy staggered away from the War Tavern, trying to remember if he had spelled his name right on the entry form. Two bs, one x, three os.. when he was crashed into by Batty Buddy, who was looking for a takeoff area among the minature horde of adventurious personages around them.
"oops.. sorry, Bboy. Didn't see you there."
"Direct result of wearing sunglasses in the night time." said Kovu, solemnly, with hiking boots and a large cantine slung over his shoulder. "Now, I've got a location in mind, and I don't want any of you following me, ok?"
"Fine with me." said Batty Buddy, flexing his wind muscles. "I'm headed towards.. well, I won't tell you, but you needn't worry me. I have this Holomap-Buddy.." he pulled out an object from his backpack ".. that will allow me to navigate even the most dangerous marshmellows! Err. Forgot I said that."
"..." said BBoy, wordlessly, pointing to the left a bit, before slumping into a nearby convinient ditch. Batty and Kovu looked in the direction BBoy had been looking, then froze as a all too familiar figure bore down on them.
"Hello, consumer, yes hello, consumer, bah bup bada bah, BeBop Cola!"

I don't know what the original War Stories was about, so would someone mind filling me in?

War Stories was originally a collection of tales people made about things that happened to them in JJ2, but somehow it became a long group (as in anyone can post something, as long as it fits) (even GenEX) story involving the War Tavern, or sometimes, just the inhabitants, a group of people known as.. the 'Taverners/War Taverners. They'll travel around the universe in a busted old shoe, but return again for another drink of braggarian ale.

"DIE BEBOP COLA!" yelled Donald, as he jumped out of nowhere and sliced the figure in half with his kitana blade.
"Que Passa!! We're saved!" exclaimed Batty Buddy.
"Thank goodness," said Kovu, wiping his brow.
"My job is done. Farewell! TUH-TUH-TAAA!!!" yelled Donald as he dis-appeared as mysteriously as he had re-appeared.
"What was that all about?" wondered Kovu. Just then, Derald came onto the scene.
"You'll have to excuse my brother, he's had too much Pepsi-Cola," Derald explained.
"Ah...That would do it," mused Batty.

Ancoysnd sighed in relief as the BeBop Cola machine was cut in half by Donald, a reaction quite the opposite of that from the two running gag police's.
"Uh.." said the first one, staring at the charred remains, as it had spontaneously exploded soon after being chopped.
"..oh." said the second, staring at where until a second or so ago Ancoysnd had been tied up with gum. Now that the cola machine was destroyed, he had easily broken his bonds and fled for Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. so as not to be late for his job interview.
"So.. now what do we do?" asked the first one. "The boss won't be happy to hear we lost both the prisoner and a BeBop Cola machine.."
"No.. so let's give chase!" cried the second, and they sprinted after Ancoysnd, until a plothole opened up, swallowed them, and spit them out in Mario land.

"Mr. ANTE-TUBBES sir, he who without we would do nothing!" cried Biff, running into the audience chamber of the aforementioned ANTE-TUBBES, head of Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. among other things.
"Yes?" answered the reciever of the praise.
"It's Ancoysnd. He's late because he got captured by Running Gag Police, who are taking him away to get a new job so he can't work here anymore! And he was about to get a promotion interview, too!"
"This is not acceptable." said ANTE-TUBBES, darkly. "Running gag police or no running gag police, Ancoysnd is MY employee and he signed a life contract with his blood. Biff, go get together a cohort of machine gun equipped stealth tanks. We're going after a captured excellent employee!"
Biff huridly saluted, then ran off in the direction of the captain of the machine gun equipped stealth tank guard, to relay the instructions.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sat serenely behind the desk, waiting for anyone to arrive late or change their minds, either way resulting in another signup. The amount of particiapants had been quite large, with even Tyf putting aside her wishes to avoid an adventure so as to get a super weapon and use it on lots of people. Apparently none of them had seen the fine print mentioning the signup cost, to be paid later, but that was their hard luck.
Languidly, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sent Robo-17.3 to get him another beer. What with there being no bartender, he could get away with it, and even if someone noticed the money from the signups would cover it.
Then, the door suddenly unexploded back up onto its hinges, instead of laying on the ground where it had been before, so that a new arrival could open it.
"Tubbs?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, squinting through the smoke of the unexploded door. "Is that you?"
"HIYA!" shouted Tubbs, rushing in and shaking hands with people madly. "I'M BACK NOW!"
"Glad to see you." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, smoothly. "Would you care to sign up for this tournament? You have to get a super weapon within 31 days, then return with it to fight everyone else and their super weapons and prove that you're the best."
"SURE THING!" screamed Tubbs, energetically grabbing the pen and signing his name in a scrawl. Then he bounded out the door, eager to get a super weapon and see if it could make cool explosions, before BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ could read him the two hour list of super weapons that weren't allowed.

BBoy groggily got out from the convinient ditch he had fallen in, still invisible. Maybe he should start wearing something, as the clothing wouldn't be invisible, probably, and he could thus avoid collisions. But there wasn't any clothing around..
Aha! He picked up a large but comfy boulder and placed it on his head. Now people would know he was there because of the large boulder seemingly floating in the sky, though really it marked his location accurately.
While thinking these thoughts, however, he neglected to consider that boulders were not like hats that would fit snugly on his head, but instead were big heavy things that fell. He realised this after it rolled off of his head onto his foot.
"YOWCH!" cried BBoy, and proceeded to hop around, before smashing into Tubbs exiting the 'Tavern. Tubbs was startled, though it didn't stop him from rushing along, but BBoy fell into the ditch again.

ANTE-TUBBES, head sticking out of the leading machine gun equipped stealth tank, suddenly stiffened as a scream of pain split the relative silence in two and whacked it with a hammer.
"That sounded nearby!" cried Biff, from inside the tank, unnecessarily.
"Tanks, follow that cry." said ANTE-TUBBES, briskly, grabbing his pistol in case the running gag police were torturing Ancoysnd. The tank driver needed no further urging, and it turned to the right, quickly followed by the other five heavily armed machine gun equipped stealth tanks.
"I know this area.." mused ANTE-TUBBES to himself, looking around. "Like I've been here in some former life.." then he saw something that stopped his musings entirely, and opened pent up anger and hate that hadn't surfaced in months.
"Tubbs!" cried ANTE-TUBBES, disbelieving, pointing at Tubbs, who was indeed standing there, pointing back.
"ANTI-TUBBS!" cried Tubbs, unaware of the name change to make him not sound evil. "I thought you were dead."
The tank had conviniently stopped moving, so ANTE-TUBBES, or ANTI-TUBBS, whichever, had time to puzzle the situation out. Should he stick to his new life, and rescue Ancoysnd? Or should he revert to the task that had plauged him since coming into existance, and eliminate Tubbs once and for all?
Then, as if to remove indecision, he got a call over his portable videophone. Charlie appeared on the screen, with another figure visible behind him.
"Chief! Ancoysnd apparently got free from the running gag police, and he just got back here, and is ready for the promotion interview."
But ANTI-TUBBS didn't hear the last part, as there was no longer anything in the way of removing Tubbs from the face of this planet, and any other one as well. And he had six machine gun equipped stealth tanks, as well as inhabitants, to do it with too.

Meanwhile, Batty Buddy was entering Candyland, in search of a super weapon in this, a most unlikely spot.

I have nothing useful to say.

Jack Flash walked out of the War Tavern, apparently without saying anything useful.

He then poked his head back into the Tavern, and raised his finger as if he were about to say something critical, then lowered it again as he realized he had forgotten what it was.

Yay. My first... uh... ah, screw it. I posted, yay me.

Acid walked up to the sgnup desk. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked up at him.
"You want to sign up for the tournament?"
"Tournament? Okay..."

Acid filled out the necessary paperwork, listened to the rules of the tournament, and got a paper copy of the list of super weapons that weren't allowed, so as not to waste time. He then rushed off to get his super weapon. He ran into a little trouble a few minutes later.

"OPEN FIRE!!!" Yelled ANTE-TUBBES. Acid, unfortunateley, had chosen that moment to walk right in front of the stealth tanks, which he had not seen because they were very stealthily stealthy in a stealthy way. Fortunateley, the only place he got hit was the place the top half of his left ear used to be, before it was... Well, he doesn't like to talk about it.
"HEY!!! What was that for?!?"
ANTE-TUBBES had not seen Acid walk in front of the tanks because he was so intent on turning Tubbs into a smoking crater. He had only succeeded in turning the air that Tubbs had previously occupied into a smoking crater, and getting Acid very mad at him.



Hee hee... My first post here. This IS a place where people can just drop in and post a bit more of the story, right? Or are there designated writers for the story that write certain parts at certain times?

"You....." growled Acid, in a menacing sort of fashion, "you shot where part of my ear would be if something hadn't happened to it!"
"I have no time for your ear!" cried ANTI-TUBBS, now referred to as that as he's lost his ANTE-TUBBES demeanor. "I'm hunting Tubbs!"
"Tubbs?" asked Acid, quizzically. "Is he the guy hiding behind that conviniently placed tree over there?"
"OPEN FIRE!" screamed ANTI-TUBBS, and the machine guns of Machine Gun Equipped Stealth Tanks #s 1 and 2 shot at the tree until it was a smoldering stump, much to its chagrin. Tubbs, naturally, wasn't behind it anymore, having ran away before the shots reached his previous hiding spot.
"That wasn't very nice of you." said Derald, who was still standing around. "You could have hurt someone."
The tank drivers needed no orders this time, but merely opened fire on the source of the reprimand, who quickly joined Tubbs behind a different conviniently placed tree, quickly followed by Acid, who the tank drivers saw as the only remaining visible target.
Behind the tree, which was much thicker then it appeared at first, a hurried council was taking place.
"So Tubbs," said Acid, "why are those tanks hunting you?"
"Oh, they're led by my negative self, who hates me and seeks to destroy me and that sort of thing." said Tubbs, who had calmed down considerably and could talk in lowercase.
"That must be a real pain." said Derald, looking around on the ground. "So, is there anything we can use to protect ourselves?"
Unfortunately, the three of them were completely without weapons, and scampered behind another tree as the previous one exploded from repeated fire.
"Well, I don't know about you two," said Tubbs, the wild look returning to his eyes, "BUT I'VE GOT A SUPER WEAPON TO FIND!" And with that, he ran off at high speeds.

ANTI-TUBBS was annoyed. He had blown up two trees now, and Tubbs was uninjured. In fact, he had just sprinted off in another direction, though the other two seemed to remain there..
"Tanks 4 and 6, take care of those two, who seem to have been assisting Tubbs. The rest of you, continue on the original mission - get Tubbs."
Two Machine Gun Equipped Stealth Tanks detached themselves from the group and started moving towards the tree Acid and Derald were hiding behind, shooting bullets randomly around to make sure they didn't run off. The rest went into high speed and chased after Tubbs, shooting off bullets now and then to liven up the chase. Tubbs might be a speedy rabbit driven by insanity and the wish to get a super weapon, but ANTI-TUBBS had fast moving tanks, and he was spurred by a wish to rid himself of the person who had plauged him for his entire life, except for a few recent months. So it was no surprise to ANTI-TUBBS when Tubbs soon came into sight, panting a bit but still running.
"Shoot as soon as he's in range." ANTI-TUBBS barked, and the tank drivers nodded their heads in unison, intent on their quarry.

BBoy groggily extricated himself from the ditch, noting as he did so he was still invisible.
"I'm still invisible." he noted.
Then he looked around. Two large but hard to see tanks were driving around, blowing up trees and generally failing to hit a couple of forms who were sprinting back and forth, conversing between themselves as they went.
Now, BBoy might be frequently drunk, and be unpleased by his condition when he wasn't, but he had enough standard edition brains inside him to realise that one of those machine gun equipped stealth tanks would be a great superweapon. He had once seen them listed in a superweapon catalog, in fact.
Still, he wasn't taking chances. He made his way back inside the 'Tavern, found BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and checked that Machine Gun Equipped Stealh Tanks were not on the list of banned superweapons. Satisfied, he made his way outside, put a handful of mud on top of his head so he would be partially visible, and started puzzling out ways to get ahold of one of those things. The obvious way would be to climb inside, but they were moving around so much trying to hit the two targets, that might be difficult. If he had a superweapon, he might be able to use it to remove the current drivers of the tanks, but the tanks were going to be his superweapon, so that wouldn't work.
Unless he could get them to shoot at each other?
That was a possibility. But how?
BBoy began to carefully study the actions of the two tanks. Apparently, they were shooting normal machine gun bullets, from the normal machine guns mounted on top of them. Machine gun bullets would not harm one of those tanks, or if it did, it would take a while, but it could easily break through ones windshield..

The driver of Happy Puppy Pickle Inc.'s Machine Gun Equipped Stealth Tank #6 was not a paticularly clever person. He had been chosen for the job because he had a natural vocation for blowing up targets, or whatever he was instructed to, but that was about all he had any sort of vocation for.
In fact, he had had trouble with that, too. While training, his instructors had had to submit him to sublimal teaching before he could realise that targets with red and white circles on them were the most important thing to shoot at, and always right in the middle. If he was training with targets and some inspector walked up, he was to shoot all the targets Before the inspector. It didn't help that the inspector was usually gone by then, but he had learned that targets took precedence.
And thus, when he saw a red and white circle target somehow appear on the windshield of Tank #4, he knew what he was supposed to do. He opened fire on it.
The guy inside #6 never even had a chance.

Acid and Derald watched with horrified fascination one of the two tanks trying to kill them suddenly shot the other tank until the driver obviously got hit, as the tank stopped being able to steer and drove straight foward at the speed it had been previously.
"Hide!" cried Derald, and they both complied, getting to safety before Machine Gun Equipped Stealth Tank #6 drove through where they had been, smashing through obstacles until it smashed into the large hill Frankenquist's Monster had carried Slayer and Vampyra Smurferama up some time ago, at which point it stopped driving and just sat there.
"Hey.." said Acid, suddenly, a look of concern coming over his face, "you know what we should do?"
"Often."
"We should lead it away from the War Tavern. After all, if it gets destroyed *again*, the super weapon contest might be null and void, and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ would get to sneakily keep all the entrance fees."
Derald gulped. "You're right!"
So the two of them darted off in a direction that took them away from the War Tavern, making sure Machine Gun Equipped Stealth Tank #4 saw them and was able to follow, leaving BBoy to take control of the now windshieldless #6 tank, highly pleased with himself.

The driver of tank #4 knew he was supposed to attack the two figures, but now a floating mud clod intrigued him. It was floating in the general direction of tank #6. He opened fire.

BBoy's main objective might have been acquiring the tank, but now, as tank #4 started pelting his general area with machine gun bullets, he knew he had to come up with a different idea. He ran over to tank #4.

The driver of tank #4 had stopped firing because he had lost sight of both of his targets. Suddenly, a red and white target appeared on his tank. He knew what to do.

"Hey, where'd that tank go?" asked Acid, panting. They had lost sight of it.
"Let's start walking back, to find it and lead it away from the War Tavern. We can't let it blow it up!" said Derald. Acid agreed, and they sprinted back where they came from.

They got back to the tank right before the tank driver managed to penetrate the armor. It made a lot of pretty fireworks. BBoy, STILL invisible, gleefully ran over to the vacant tank #6 and got in.
"Well, I guess that takes care of that," said Acid.
"Yeah, I guess."
"I still need to get my super weapon."
"I do too. See you later!"

Acid walked into his office, and began reading the list of super weapons that weren't allowed. Satisfied that "Coffee maker" wasn't on the list, he walked into the lounge and retrieved his super weapon.

EDIT: Added a little stuff. Sorry about that, Unknown Rabbit!

Acid walked back to the War Tavern, to check in his super weapon. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked at the coffee maker. He looked nonplussed. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pointed at one of the lines on the rule sheet.
"That you didn't have before- OH!!! Oops!" said Acid. He walked back out, thought of something, then went back in.
"If I didn't have it before, but I built it during the time I need to get it to the contest, would that be okay?"

Originally posted by Unknown Rabbit
"Wait, wait! To add a little plot to this contest, so it's not just mindless shooting at each other, I propose a condition. You can not particiapate without some mega weapon from far off places!" Still many faces were non-comittal, so BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ hurridly added "..that you didn't have before!"

Jack reentered the Tavern, this time with something relatively useful. He trundled in on his modified Tweezer-O-Matic, now with tank treads, so it was basically a mobile tweezer-turret. Little did anyone else know it doubled as a Super-Duper Ultramatic Nuclear Kill-Everything Ray (S-DUNKER for short), as tweezers are nigh on useless against tanks, even tweezers that tweeze at 1200 rpm. In any case, Jack looked to BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, whose jaw was sagging so profoundly in astonishment that he almost tripped over it.
"Does this qualify?"

Yay twice! My first semi-useful post! ^_^

If anyone else wants to use my S-DUNKER, go ahead... but ya hafta get me out of it first! GWAAAAR! *spins around, tweezing like a crazy insane psycho idiot*

Que Passa!!!!

"Sunshine, lollypops, and rainbows, and gumdrops..." sang a corus of smiling sunflowers.
"Um... Why am I here again..." Batty Buddy questioned himself as he stood on the corner of Rockey Road, and Licorish Lane. Pulling out a copy of the script from his backpack, he read it.
"Ah yes. To find the legendary 'Quanto-huge-gargantuan-really-freaky-big Destructonator of Doooom'!" Pulling a piece of the signpost off and plopping it in his mouth he added "Something with a name like THAT should stand out in a place like THIS like a bedwetter at a summercamp. Gotta find it before the cutness saturation starts effecting me and I end up looking like one of those Nick Jr. cartoons." He cringed at the thought.
Journying on, Batty didn't seem to notice the sign on the store window reading 'Destructonators R Us.', nor the sign right below it: 'Sale on all Quanto-huge-gargantuan-really-freaky-big Destructonator of Dooooms'.

"Nope, try again."

Acid tried every idea that he could think of, each of them breaking at least one rule. When he finally suggested not having a super weapon, they threw him out of the tavern. Acid stood up, rubbing his behind. He then set off in search of his weapon.

He decided to check the game dimensions, to see if they had any cool stuff, things like ships with guns that fire huge objects that are larger than the bloody ship. He didn't have much luck, until he settled into Tank Troubles, a game made by yours truly. It was there where he found "the nuke that blows everything up when you press the D key but subtracts from your score what you would have gotten if you blew them up with the electro beam", commonly known as D-nuke or TNTBEUWYPTDKBSFYSWYWHGIYBTUWTEB. Satisfied with the humongous name and how powerful it was, he started on the problem of how he was going to get the tank.

ahem. AHEM.

AHEM!!!

Topic revival!

*steps on the spikey part of a convieniently placed rake, making the wood part shoot up and bash in one side of his face*

People have seemed to spurn the War Tavern lately. It kinda sucks.

WRITE SOME STUFF PEOPLE!!!!!!!!111

Yeah, especially in this one because I can't write anything because I just posted. WRITE, FOOS!!!

Reviving the topic frequently like this won't help much (if people see nothing's been posted there for a while, they may feel guilty), just let it sit there for a while, and if no one replies in some amount of time (I go with about seven days, generally), just post something after yourself and complain about it a lot.
I'll try to post something soon, but things have been happening in my life which prevented me from doing that.

"Hey Beau!" Derald called out as he and his brother walked into the Tavern.

"Derald! Donald!" said Beauman, obviously pleased to see them. "Did you come to sign up for the tournament?"

"No," said both brothers in unison.

"We're just going to be spectators," Donald elaborated. "Y'know, part of the audience."

"Ah," said Beau, nodding his head. "We could use an audience. Tyf's probably going to be in the stands too."

Just then, a familiar famous space bounty hunter strolled in, and walked up to the registration table.

"Hello," said Samus Aran. "I heard there was some sort of shooting contest going on here. I'd like to sign up..."

(Note: Hee hee, I couldn't help myself, what with today being the day that Metroid Prime/Fusion are released...)

"...Sure! Okay, you can just sign here, and I'll tell you all the rules."

Samus did, and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ started rattling off all the rules, and ending with the 2-hour long list of weapons that weren't allowed.

After finishing with the rules and superweapons that weren't allowed, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ asked "So, you get all that?"

"Zzzzz..."

"OH, COME ON!!! IT'S ONLY 2 HOURS LONG!!!"



Somewhere in a game with a name where both words begin with T...

Acid loaded a frostbite into his less heavy duty gun, a silver pistol. He aimed at the tank, and fired.

"AHHHH!!! WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FROSTBITER?!?!?" due to the graphics in the game, his frostbiter ammo was turned into little blue balls with spikes on them. You can understand how shocked Acid was. But, even though the graphics were different, it still did it's job. The tank turned blue, and stopped.

"Hey, what was that for?!?" an angry voice sounded from the inside of the tank. A small person popped out the top. Acid loaded his bazooka, propped it on his shoulder, pointed at the person, and said "Give me your tank. NOW."





oooo Acid's being Evil!

This is my first story post here, so don't expect an amazing piece of literary gold. ;P

-------------------------------------------
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a large black crow appeared. The crow was immense. Its claws looked like the talons of some great eagle from a Greek myth. Its curved and wretched beak twisted like bramble would around a wire fence. The crow opened its beak and let out a piercing shreik of rage that rattled the ground miles away. The shadow it cast upon the ground below became larger and larger as the crow descended. Acid peered up and saw one large black blur and dropped his bazooka.
There was a terrible silence.
There was a terrible sound.
There was a terrible silence.
And all was black.
Acid woke up with a start. He looked around. He was in some forest of some type. It was pitch black, but even through the enveloping darkness he could see the lush vegetation - carrots, raddishes, squash - of wherever he was. Millions of thoughts rushed to his head. Where am I? he asked himself out loud, knowing no answer would come. He wandered around for a while, tripping over the unlighted landscape until he found a sign dimly illuminated by the soft glow of the moonlight in front of what looked like a giant, majestic building. He brushed the ivy on it away and saw the words:

Welcome to Carrotus Castle

And somehow this is not truly a literary work of art?

*congratulates Trafton on stuff*

OOOYAY, DONUT! ^_^ *munchmunch*

Donald bashed the side of Samus' helmet to wake her up. 5 seconds later he was staring down the barrel of her arm cannon...

"If you EVER do that to me again, I will blow your head off. Got it?"

Donald gulped. "G... got it."

"Good." said Samus. She turned to Beauman. "So now I have to go find some sort of super weapon?"

"That you didn't have before," Beauman amended. "And your suit, with ALL of its enhancements, would count as a super weapon. So remove them all when you enter the tournament."

"Even my Morph Ball?"

Beauman thought this over for a moment. "The Morph ball is OK, everything else, even your Bombs, Missiles and beam upgrades, have to go."

Samus was no fool. "Alright, fine."

"Then it's settled." Beauman gave her a copy of the rules and the 2-hour-long banned weapons list. "Remember, you have to come back within a month, or you're disqualified."

"All right. See you then." Samus left the Tavern. A few minutes later, the sound of her ship starting up was heard, followed by the sound of it vanishing into deep space...

Meanwhile, Donald was still standing in shock from his rather severe reprimand. Derald touched his brother and Donald collapsed on the floor. Derald couldn't help but wince.

"My poor brother. He'll be in therapy for days..."

I find it interesting that you decided to field test the thing while in the 'Tavern, against imaginary tanks and stuff, despite the tournament not being for some time yet.

Deleted last post. I just realized that I'm posting something about one story in a story wot is completely different... ? *twitch*

...in fact, i'm not quite sure where the farge i am anymore...

I don't either, dude.
*trudges back to the warm, glowy Tavern(I hope it's still in existence) and drinks a Braggarian Goo*

Ducky returned to find the Tavern closed. Nightfire was just nailing a board, marked with large red script, "CLOSED," over the door and taking off his apron. "What's this?!" she shreiked, almost hysterical as she prised the hammer from his paws and attempted to pry away the splintry, grey board.
"The board is closing,"he said, as though she were an idiot.
"What do you mean?" she shouted in disconsternation and surprise.
"Dethman is closing it."

Heh. Evil nostalgia.