ToU Part 3! Come join in before it becomes 40 pages!

[Strato]

"Was it my sore arm? ...wait, sore arm? I checked my left arm and found a small puncture mark there."

[ShadeJackrabbit]

ooh! Good point. There might by some sort of injection turret in there that injects you with poison.

Heres what I want to do: Search the walls for anything different.

[Torkell]

That would suggest that there's some sort of dart-gun or poisoned spike in the vent. If it was poison gas, then it would have diffused out of the vent and Shuri would already be dead.

Climb into the vent, then continue down the vent, bashing the surface/walls of the vent with the rock before touching it with any part of your body (hands, arms, legs, feet, etc.)

[MSB3000]

and continue to hum Futurerama

[Risp_old]

Here is an (out of date) map-
http://www.foxmage.com/LemMap.gif

Look, you have something at your ready with which you can learn the nature of what applies the poison. That isn't crawling through the vent over and over and over to no end.

[Blackraptor]

Reread note. Examine contents of first aid kit.

[Risp_old]

I tried to read the note, but there wasn't enough light. The first aid kit contained a variety of bandages, bottles, and various things that felt like torture implements but probably weren't.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Listen for sound in the vent. (For example, rotating of a dart shooter, roar of a furnace.)

[Risp_old]

I tried listening for sounds. Considering the dark magic here was so strong I couldn't hear my own heartbeat, I wasn't surprised I heard nothing.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Look at paper.
Look around.

[Lem_Gambino]

Okay, time to take back control.

Go north.
Take out the katana.
Attack the fake wall.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Search for a crease or seperation between the fake wall and the real ones.

[Risp_old]

@Zapper - You need light to look at things.
@Lem- Hehehe, that's ironic.

I went north and struck the fake wall with my katana. I was struck by a sense of deja vu, which was actually rather refreshing, since this time it didn't have any mystery attached.
I examined the wall but noticed no obviously weak crease between the old walls and the fake one- it appears the fake one was welded in.

[Lem_Gambino]

Attack the wall again.

[Risp_old]

I considered attacking the wall again then realized that my efforts were doing more damage to my katana then the wall.

[MSB3000]

it could be a motion sensor thing, or heat seaking. stick your hand in the vent as far as it will go and wave it around and stuff.

something at our ready? is it a rock? pick up a rock and throw it into the vent. see if something different happens.

is it alive?

[Strato]

You guys aren't reading what Risp is saying closly at all.

The solution is in another room, he said. Also, dieing repeatedly won't get us anywhere.

As such, he also claimed that knowing what's killing us would help greatly, but that information won't come by dieing from it repeatedly.

One thing I can think of is to use two rocks and strike them together to create a spark, and see if we can read the paper in the fleeting light.

Of course, that's way off base probably. Is there anything of interest in the first aid kit besides generally healing looking stuff?

Any anti-venom in it?

Throw rock down vent.

[MSB3000]

throw three more rocks down the vent.

then go N, N, W, W. observe. and don't fall down anymore.

[Risp_old]

I struck a spark and tried to read the paper. It went out before I could actually read anything, but I caught a glimpse of something rather long written on the back.
I went south and threw a bunch more rocks down the shaft, including the one I was carrying.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.geocities.jp/oopage/material/icon/style_wa-katana.png" alt="Katana"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/comic_by_fasticon/Filestext.gif" alt="Notice">



@Stratn - The first aid kit does have an antivenom, but it's not fast-action enough for whatever very strong poison used in the air vents.
@MSB - That would take us to the collapsed gate room. I'm pretty sure that's not what you wanted.

[cooba]

Is the way through N, E, N open?

[Risp_old]

No. That passage is caved in.

[Strato]

Page claim

Is the natural lighting in the first area, you know, the pit place, strong enough to read the paper in?

Does the weird warping thing emit enough light?

[acid]

Get some gauze or whatever out of the first aid kit, and light it on fire with another spark. Then use that light to read the paper.

[Fawriel]

..you know, if you want to read those papers............ there's, as far as I know, an extremely simple way to read it............

Return to the entrance ( the room we got into first ). Build some improvised stairs using rocks to reach the rope and climb up and out of the maze, then read the note.

[MSB3000]

let's do that. add two rocks to inventory. then let's go S, E, S, W, S. look around.

[Risp_old]

I made a staircase and climbed halfway back up the rope. The light there was enough to read the note. On closer inspection it appeared to have been printed on used paper. The front I had already read, but the back...

~To-Do List~
order replacement Gothic Gate^tm gate bars
look over job applications for dungeon miniboss
sue McDonalds
cause artifical cave-ins
paint eldrich signs on walls
remove AC
<s>go to grocery store for fresh batch of evil</s>
hire de-exorcist to haunt dungeon
enchant dungeon with spells of darkness
find supplier of human skulls for decor
renew protection contact with the lawyer mafia
reopen second basement
replace electric lighting with torches
cover air vent floor with poison needles
wall-in wierding chamber
<s>kill dungeon's designer for patent protection</s>
all your base are belong to us
repair furnace mechanism
install the bottomless pits in storage
pay Xeltoth's wage
<s>finish construction of monolith</s>
re-termite woodwork
<s>have the illuminated and ancient librarians of Ee to perform the ritual of shushing</s>
add more secret passages
remove all resident hero-friendly vending and commercial services

It looked to be a bit outdated; many of these things had already been done but hadn't been crossed out.

@MSB- that takes you through the fake wall

[Blackraptor]

So basically the floor of the airvent is covered with poison needles. \o/

[MSB3000]

how does one use the antivenom?

[Risp_old]

It isn't nearly strong enough for this poison, if that's what you are thinking.

[MSB3000]

then what use does it have?
how tall are the needles?
and list the current inventory

[Fawriel]

Hmm... slash the needles down with the katana?

[MSB3000]

i was thinking more of a "smash them with a rock"

[Risp_old]

You just read that in a notice. You have no idea how tall the needles are, how they are positioned in the shaft, or anything. Trying to smash them with a rock would be a futile waste of time.

<b>Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.geocities.jp/oopage/material/icon/style_wa-katana.png" alt="Katana"> <img src="http://www.marable-family.net/eli/images/rock1.gif" alt="Rock"> <img src="http://www.marable-family.net/eli/images/rock3.gif" alt="Rock"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/comic_by_fasticon/Filestext.gif" alt="Notice">

[Lem_Gambino]

Go S, E, S. Karate-kick the wall.

[MSB3000]

there is no north where we are (i think)

go S, E, S and look at the fake wall.

[Lem_Gambino]

Changed my last post. XP

[Risp_old]

What's it with you people and looking at things while in total darkness that you have already carefully examined before?

EDIT- improved grammar to make it actually readable

[MSB3000]

it's fun!

uhm... let's try to go through the vent without touching the floor. i know it sounds impossible, but just push against the walls.

if that is impossible, then try to use the rocks as a kind of protective shield against your hands and feet. hmmm... how big (ft, in, cm, etc.) is the vent?

[Risp_old]

The rocks are too round to use as effective shields. You would slip.
The vent is too narrow and small to do anything but crawl through on your belly.

[MSB3000]

how can you slip when you're on your belly?

...try to cut them down with your katana?

[Risp_old]

That is, you would assuming the air vent was tall enough.

Being there would help in cutting them down. I just realized I suddenly got very lenient in automatically moving people. NO MORE!

[MSB3000]

south, south, cut 'em down.

[Strato]

Cutting them down wouldn't be the best idea, considering that a needle on it's side is still just as pointy as one sticking up right.

[Risp_old]

I went south and south again, and took out my katana. Selecting the sharper and straighter edge of the two, I carefully swept the inside of the air vent. Continuing on, I managed my way through the entire vent, slowly but thoroughly removing the needles.

@Stratn- yes, but a needle that's sideways is rather hard to poke yourself with, seeing as it is parallel to the floor and you don't see people cutting themselves on the floor much. Plus sweeping the inside of the vent would naturally build all the needles up at the edges, and thus they could be easily avoided.

[Lem_Gambino]

*takes control*

Go through the vent and climb out the other side.

[Risp_old]

I stepped out of the vent, already being at the other side. I was in a room, but obviously could not see the details.

[Lem_Gambino]

Too bad. D= *slaps self for breaking the lantern*

Go north.

[Risp_old]

<b>I walked north, and met a wall. Sliding east to find the door, I feel down a pit. Luckily, my reflexes allowed me to catch the edge. Unluckily, I lost the notice and my rocks, my free hand only being able to hold my katana and the first aid kit.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.geocities.jp/oopage/material/icon/style_wa-katana.png" alt="Katana">

[Lem_Gambino]

Climb back up. Try to edge around the pit.

[Strato]

Alright, new map needed. Let's get ready for a DUNGEON IN A DUNGEON!

[Risp_old]

Climb back up? With one hand? Holding a big metal weight and a bulky plastic box?

[Blackraptor]

Throw the katana and first aid kit up the edge, then climb up yourself.

[MSB3000]

so... how long has Araches been down here? a day? a week? a month? a year? a decade? a MILLENIUM?!?

[Lem_Gambino]

Chuck the box and the katana up to ground level. NOW climb up.

[Risp_old]

I tossed my stuff up the edge, and due to basic scientific principles of action and reaction was knocked backwards and fell down the pit. Faced with the prospect of slowly starving to death while falling an infinate distance down a pocket dimension, I...

...snapped back to reality. I slammed to the ground as I lost my balance mid-leap to the air-vent. And sat there for a bit, dizzy with vertigo. Wait, vertigo?

@MSB- I actually have no clue, the chronology is so confused. But she hasn't starved to death or anything yet.

[Lem_Gambino]

Wait for dizziness to wear off.
Climb up the vent whilst knocking out the needles.
Drop the inventory and come back for it laterz. (make sure the notice is under the rock or the kit.)
Hang from the ledge and shimmy around the pit.
Climb up and go north.

[Risp_old]

Almost a macro, but I'll excuse it because this is redoing stuff.

I waited for the vertigo to pass, then climbed up the air vent. I went along, swiping back and forth with my katana as I went. Why, I'm not so sure. I had done it before, but that was a dream... wasn't it?
I climbed out of the vent and left my things on the floor. I went straight to where I thought the exit north was and fell down a pit, but quickly grabbed at the edge with both hands and pulled myself up. I went north, and entered another room. There was a faint light coming from the north...

[Lem_Gambino]

Go north. Carefully.

[Risp_old]

I went north. Due to all the dark magic dampening the light, it very quickly went from faint to daylight-intensity, as I quickly went from walking along to clutching at my eyes in pain. However, recovering quickly I looked around. The room was properly lit by florescent lights in the celing, with a sign on the north wall saying 'The trader is currently' with, under it, a smaller sign currently turned to 'out'. The west wall had a waste bin next to it, and the east wall had a button. But the most noticable feature was a table with several chairs pulled up to it in the center, and the most important part of that was Araches sitting at one. She appeared to be eating something in a box.

Hearing me, she stiffened, then turned and visibly relaxed. "I'm so glad it's you and not Uberbob who came back for me here. In more ways then one." She glanced at me. I stepped back. I didn't like that glance.

[Lem_Gambino]

Say "What's going on here? These tunnels are a mess!"

[Risp_old]

She took a sip from a drink, then cleared her throat. "Oh, just re-construction. Adding walls to prevent access to important rooms, removing critical hardware so the employees can't steal it, causing carefully coordinated cave-ins for no good reason, that sort of stuff. It just was stopped midway through by Unfooruman dying."
She coughed. "But how have you been doing, hon?"
I looked at her for a moment. It must be that outfit getting to her head. I wouldn't trust an outfit that's hat is made of more fabric then the rest of it combined. I wondered where she had gotten it.

Risp claimed a page \o/

[MSB3000]

<del>glance back the same way</del>

look around the room. ask her why she couldn't have figured a way out herself.

<del>HON?</del>

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask her where she got the cool hat.

[MSB3000]

ask her if you can have the cool hat

[Risp_old]

One thing at a time, people D=

A thought struck me. "Wait, if you want to leave here why couldn't you, yourself? You are a sorceress, you have the power, and you aren't stupid. A way out wouldn't be that hard to find."
Araches glared at me. "You think I WANT to be out there? With Uberbob? Are you crazy? Just by being around him my IQ gets lower... plus I'm tired of all those childish attempts to get into my clothes." She paused.
"Anyway, I would much rather stay here... with you."
That was about the last thing I wanted. I quickly changed the subject. "Where did you get that hat?"
Araches, caught only slightly off-guard, said in a conspiratorial tone of voice, "I got them from Fox. He traded them for my old clothes on the one condition that I didn't tell anybody that these were his clothes, and not something he just stocked for trading." She paused and laughed theatrically. "Oh, looks like I accidently said it. Silly me... well, it's better then my old stuff. It's a law of the universe that female magic users loose power the more they wear."
She, seeing the look in my eyes, instantly said, "And no, you can't have this hat."

[Blackraptor]

<s> Okay, fine. I'll stay here with you. Lets make love. </s>

"But we just beat unfooruman. The island is also set to self destruct rather soon, by the way. Just thought you might want to know."


Courtesy of Strato (who held me at gunpoint to put this in):

Say: "I'm not gay, but I can learn."

[acid]

Same as Blackraptor, except do <b>not</b> say that last bit. Please.

[Blackraptor]

Acid, think of what youre saying here. Calm down man.

[Fawriel]

I agree wholeheartedly with Blacky.

[Strato]

Oh no, you're not pinning this train wreck on me, BR.

[acid]

Is there a real reason for it? What would we accomplish by saying that? Does it even make sense in context? Would Shuri say something like that?

Please answer these questions. I'm very interested in your reply(ies).

[MSB3000]

yesnomaybe

look around for exits. ask Araches to join the party. if she refuses, tell her you'll leave her all alone again. if she says "ok fine i don't care," then knock her unconchious and cary her out.

[Fawriel]

Is there a real reason for it? What would we accomplish by saying that? Does it even make sense in context? Would Shuri say something like that?

Please answer these questions. I'm very interested in your reply(ies).
It's <i>fun</i>.

[MSB3000]

Is there a real reason for it? What would we accomplish by saying that? Does it even make sense in context? Would Shuri say something like that?

Please answer these questions. I'm very interested in your reply(ies).

does it matter? this is Uberbob. (the game, not the POV)

[Coppertop]

I agree with Acid. I expect you to keep these responses appropriate, Uberbob or not.

[MSB3000]

what's making them inappropriate? huh? huh? yeah huh?

[Coppertop]

Think about it, MSB3000. I won't argue about it with you; if I see a post I think is inappropriate or potentially offensive, I will edit or remove it.

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask Araches what new spells she learned.

[Risp_old]

I decided to get back on topic. "Will you come back with me?"
"What do you think, Sherlock?" Araches asked, with all the subtlety of a brick.
"Well... you do know that this island is going to blow up, right?"
"And where did you get this information?"
"Well, there was this loudspeaker and-"
Araches laughed. "And you BELIEVED it? Smoke and mirrors, it's all smoke and mirrors."
I saw an oppertunity. "That's what people generally say of magic."
"...I'll give you that, sugar."
I wasn't going to be talked to like <i>that</i>, but I didn't see any way to stop Araches. One does not try to stop a powerful sorceress when unarmed and exhausted. Instead, I tried to change the subject again. "Speaking of magic, what new magic tricks do you have?"
"Wanna find out?"
I didn't like her tone of voice. I tried to salvage my situation. "I'm not g-"

...no, that would have made it worse. For my pride, anyway. I was better off not trying.

[MSB3000]

complain to her of all you had to go through to get here, and that you've died several times. it would be infuriating(sp?...what does sp mean anyway?) to find out that all these troubles would have been for nothing. ask her what she's been eating.

[Lem_Gambino]

(sp?) = Possible spelling error.

[Risp_old]

Remember, Shuri doesn't believe in savepoints.

I began to tell her of how I died several times to get to here, but... did I? However, there were better lines of uncertainty to pursue.
"What's that you are eating?"
Araches finished a bite. "It's just some of that crappy chicken stuff they sell."
"Err, what?"
"Just have a look." Araches gestured to the button on the east wall.

[MSB3000]

rush up and bang on the button so hard it SMASHES. BOOM!

...

or just press the button after walking up to it.

[Risp_old]

I walked to the wall, and pressed the button. Creases of golden light started to form on the edges of the wall. They spread to the top and became more regular as the wall began to detach from the surrounding ones.
Araches coughed. "I would step away if I were you."
I started to step backwards as the wall lowered to the ground on newly-formed hinges and stared into the infinity of misty golden light from beyond it. I stood there for a moment, admiring how simply beautiful it was. Then, right on cue, Araches ruined the moment.
"I swear, couldn't they skip all the drama once?"
I turned to glare at her, then when I turned back I saw the glow dying down. What was beyond appeared to be a vaguely person-shaped sillouete and a blurred impression of an arm.. a person standing behind a desk, raising an arm... a dorky-looking man with acne standing behind a desk with the Chic-Fil-A logo on it, pointing to a menu hanging on the wall behind him. "Can I take your order?" the man asked in a nasal yet still somehow creepy voice.

[Lem_Gambino]

"Uh...I'll have what she's having."

[MSB3000]

ask if they sell chicken here...

and get a large soda.
letsee... ask the cashier who he is and how he came to be here and if there's any way we could just climb over the counter and leave through an exit-thing.

[Ae]

"And hurry up with it!" After what Lem said

[Risp_old]

The portal is only there when the wall to the store is opening or closing. There are no doors behind the counter.

"Err, do you sell chicken here?"
The man put a bit more menace in his whiny nasal tone as he said, "Read the menu, ma'am."
I read the menu. They indeed did sell chicken and in several varieties. I considered ordering a soda and some food, but then thought straight for long enough to realize that I should wait till my stomach settled to eat. I'm pretty sure there is some rule about waiting half an hour before you try eating after nearly falling down a bottomless pit. Plus I had been feeling rather nauseous from all those teleporters.
Trying to seize a simpler avenue of escape, I reopened conversation with the man at the counter.
"Where does that portal in the wall actually lead?"
He snorts. "It just leads to a pocket dimesion that links all restaurants everywhere united under the Chic-Fil-A banner. It makes relocating easier and closing time actually mean something to thieves."

[MSB3000]

ask why they haven't used that to solve all the world's problems...

[Risp_old]

"Why hasn't the chain used pocket dimension tricks like that to solve all of the world's problems?"
"Because there's no profit in solving profitable problems," the man happily says.

[Radium]

ask if they sell chicken here...++MSB

[MSB3000]

is Araches really gong to quit? but she's been around since the beginning... she was the second character introduced! blah

order chicken. and soda. while the food is being prepared, ask the guy why he's such a dork. and have it all accidently come out as あなたの基盤すべては私達に属するある.

[Risp_old]

Against my better judgement I began to take out money to buy some food. Then realized I didn't have any money. Again, against my better judgement I started to ask the man at the counter why he was such a dork. Then I decided not to and just became confused. It seemed safer.

[MSB3000]

ask Araches for money. <del>kill the counter guy if you can't get any money</del>

[acid]

No, Shuri still has vertigo from the bottomless pit. We don't want her throwing up chicken everywhere, do we?

<s>STAB the man at the counter!</s>

[Risp_old]

"Hey, Araches," I asked, "do you have any money?"
She glared at me. "Yes, I have some. No, you can't have it."
I felt I was missing something. I decided to vocalize it. "Wait, where did you get the money?"
"I traded my staff for it. With Fox."
I couldn't think of anything intelligent or sarcastic to say about that.

[MSB3000]

tell the guy behind the counter to go away.

[Fawriel]

Check the list for what they sell.

[Risp_old]

I began to get mad at the man. "Go away."
He started to sound exasperated. "Look, ma'am, I can't control the coming and going of-"
"Stuff it."
I grabbed the edge of what used to be the wall and lifted it up enough to press the button, then did so. There was a quick burst of golden light as the wall slammed back into place and reconnected with the rest of the room. I sighed in relief for a moment.
"Well, honey, now that we're alone..."
I turned to Araches then back to the door. The guy behind the desk wasn't <i>that</i> bad...

[MSB3000]

is this the end of Araches? she's been one of the main characters from the beginning. awww...

ask Araches if she expects to live down here for the rest of her life. if the answer is yes then point out that she'll run out of money.

Edit - i claim post 600. whee!

[Risp_old]

"Do you really plan to stay here for the rest of your life?"
"No, I can leave by myself."
"Oh."
"But, of course, I would prefer it if <i>you</i> came with me."
"Err..."

"I, Risp, claim the page!"

[MSB3000]

tell her you'll go with her if you get to choose the way.

and you never answered my "end of Araches" thing.

<DEL>wonder why Araches isn't being more forceful</DEL>
<DEL></DEL>
<DEL></DEL>EDIT: it's been a DAY! aaaggghhh...boo</DEL>

[Risp_old]

Sorry, internet's been out. Stupid internet.

@MSB- Look, Radium himself told me I can't answer any plot-related questions.

"I'll go with you."
Araches brightened up.
"If I get to choose the way."
She brightened back down. "Look, hon, I'm not stupid. I know I would end up with Uberbob then."

[Fawriel]

Offer a contract to give Uberbob a good kick in the family jewels any time he tries to get into Araches' pants... loincloth.. or does anything else to her she disapproves of ( annoyances like walking around examining and picking up stuff don't count ).

[Risp_old]

I decided to take another approach. "How about this. You come with me, and I promise to forcibly stop Uberbob from making passes at you... with a kick to the family jewels."
Araches considered it for a moment. "Much more promising a deal... and I think that's all I am really going to get from you... Okay, I agree. If you break your promise, though..."

[Fawriel]

"It's not going to happen. I'm a ninja after all. Code of honor and everything, you know."

[Risp_old]

I was NOT a ninja. Despite all evidence to the contrary.

[MSB3000]

is Uberbob going to let her do that?

look for unobvious exits. ask Araches to buy more food for the trip back and later. think loudly in your mind "all your base are belong to us."

[Risp_old]

"We could use some food for the trip back. Could I have some of your money to buy some food?"
"It won't last. It's a well known fact all food spoils in a matter of seconds when not on the shelves in a shop, and Chic-Fil-As don't sell any canned food."

[MSB3000]

buy food then EAT IT.

[Risp_old]

Araches is full, and Shuriken is still nauseous.

[MSB3000]

FINE. let's leave through the.. hole...door...thing that we came through before.

[Risp_old]

Directions, plz.

[MSB3000]

S, into the vent. <del>make sure you're behing Araches</del> S, W, N, N, W, N.

[Risp_old]

Invalid directions. Moving the S.

I went south twice, skirted the hole, and Araches fell in. I caught her, but she was heavier then me and I began to slip... I really should have warned her about that.

[acid]

Inventory?

[Risp_old]

We dropped it all in front of the air vent, remember?

[Lem_Gambino]

Get Araches to a ledge so she can hold onto it.

[Risp_old]

I slowly dragged Araches backwards till she grabbed a ledge. With that extra help I pulled her up.
Shaken, she said, "You really should have told me about that... stupid bottomless pits, able to be installed without any noise..."

[Radium]

We dropped it all in front of the air vent, remember?
What you mean is
<b>Inventory</b>

[Risp_old]

I was too lazy D=

[Lem_Gambino]

"Sorry about that, I guess I didn't see it in the DARKNESS." Get equipment. Exit out air vent.

[Risp_old]

<b>I took my equipment. A little of it seemed to be missing. Ah well.
"Araches, there is an air vent up there. It's the only way out. So, we need to get up there."
"How am I suppost to carry my hat, huh?"
"Err... don't ask questions like that and it won't be a problem."
I climbed up and helped Araches find the vent by way of poking and humming showtunes. That seemed to disquiet her a little, but she soon got over it.
We went down the airvent, and Araches did somehow manage to keep her hat in one peice.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.geocities.jp/oopage/material/icon/style_wa-katana.png" alt="Katana">

[Lem_Gambino]

Okay, lead Araches N, N, W, N.

[Risp_old]

I lead Araches through the halls, as she complained randomly about minor things.
We reached the enterance chamber.

[MSB3000]

look up. then do what we did earlier and try to build a stair case thing out of rocks. or try to get to the rope. or both.

add a rock to inventory. :)

[Lem_Gambino]

Say that you forgot something and take Araches S, E, S. Hint at the possibility that there's something behind the west wall there.

[MSB3000]

CONFLICT!!!(sp?)

boo

[Risp_old]

I'm going with Lem first because I'm the temp DM and I can.

"Oh, Araches. I forgot about something. Follow me for a bit more..."
"Err... well, make it quick."
I lead Araches back to the room with the false wall. I pointed it out. "This wall was added after the original maze was made."
"Oh, the wall to the wierding room? What, do you want me to open it?"
"Yeah. Could you?"
"A fireball would do the trick, easy. But do you think that's the smartest use of energy in this situation?"
I spent a moment considering...

[Lem_Gambino]

"Yes, there isn't anything else to burninate."

[MSB3000]

yes. do it please. but stand a ways back before doing so.

[Risp_old]

"Yes, but is there anything else we have to fight?"
"Knowing our luck, there will be soon."
"Still, whatever's in that room might come in handy."
"But..." Araches paused and sighed. "Whatever."
There was a sudden rush of light as Araches quietly mouthed a few magic words. She, without turning from me, pointed to the door and snapped her fingers. A huge ball of flame shot out of the air in front of her hand and vaporized the door.
I peeked in. This room had a rather plush carpet, cheap wallpaper, and an overstuffed chair in a corner. The wooden table had a tea set on it, and the umbrella stand in another corner appeared to have a pogostick in it, all alone. There was a lamp in what used to be a corner before the wall was destroyed, and a suspicious lack of disintigrated things. It appeared this room was warded against magic.

[Lem_Gambino]

plush*

Sit in chair and comment on comfort.
Examine tea set, umbrella, and pogo stick.

[Risp_old]

There is no umbrella.

I sat down in the chair. I sat up again. It felt to be full of needles. "Err, this is a great lack of the comfort you come expect of a chair."
"Oh?" Araches asked sarcastically.
"Yeah. This chair is full of needles."
"Well, now I know not to ask you to let me sit on it."

The tea set was made of polished bone. It was glued to the wooden table, and was full of some strong acid. It appeared to have never been used before, or perhaps just used by someone very careful with their tea sets.
The pogo stick was of the normal dimensions for pogo sticks, but had a few features most pogo sticks don't. Like a 9-digit padlock. It was very rusted, the padlock just stuck there by huge lumps of oxidized metal.

[MSB3000]

yank on the pogo stick until it breaks. blame it on Araches when it does.

[Lem_Gambino]

I peeked in. This room had a rather plush carpet, cheap wallpaper, and an overstuffed chair in a corner. The wooden table had a tea set on it, and the umbrella stand in another corner appeared to have a pogostick in it, all alone. There was a lamp in what used to be a corner before the wall was destroyed, and a suspicious lack of disintigrated things. It appeared this room was warded against magic.
Put your ear to the padlock and try to crack the code.

[Risp_old]

What, you don't know what an umbrella stand is?

[Lem_Gambino]

....Oh.

<s>Take pogo stick and bash Lem with it</s>

[MSB3000]

OH NO! ima gothic, for i am playing this game and not reading the Bible.

http://www.jazz2online.com/jcf/showthread.php?t=13389

[Lem_Gambino]

asdfgjkl;'

Confirm if Shuri is Gothic. =O
Take the pogo stick.

[MSB3000]

no, break the pogo stick

[Lem_Gambino]

NO. DO NOT BREAK THE POGO STICK (it's prolly indestructable anyway).

I claim the page. =D

[Risp_old]

My internet has been acting <i>really</i> wonky lately so I won't be able to upold my duties as temp DM for a while, at least till it stops switching on and off at random.

[MSB3000]

what happened to Radium?

[Lem_Gambino]

He's busy. Or so he says.

[MSB3000]

he's posting in all the other threads.

maybe he <del>hates</del> is tired of Uberbob! *cry*

do stuff

[Risp_old]

Internet = back =D

<b>I took the pogo stick. Not that I knew what to do with it. I considered, for a moment, breaking it, but then realized that that would be an even bigger waste of effort then what I was already doing.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.geocities.jp/oopage/material/icon/style_wa-katana.png" alt="Katana"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick">

[Lem_Gambino]

"Well, this was a waste of time."

Go E, N, W, N. Exit.

[MSB3000]

see if it works.

then W, N, W, N!

can we leave now? please?

try to build a rock staircase

and wot happened to Rad?

[Lem_Gambino]

see if it works.

then W, N, W, N!

can we leave now? please?

try to build a rock staircase

and wot happened to Rad?
Like I said, busy.

[Ae]

Attempt to reach the rope back where you entered by bouncing up with the Pogo Stick.

[Risp_old]

I went back through the corridors, with Araches at my heel. I climbed the rock staircase I had made quite a while ago (in my own personal chronology, anyway) back to the rope, which I used to exit. I was rather glad, with Araches climbing under me, that I was wearing pants and not a dress.

Alright, that's pretty much the limits of my DMship, except for a few more things that you haven't tried but don't really matter.

[Fawriel]

Get Risp to tell us what said stuff we haven't tried yet is.

[Lem_Gambino]

INVALID. Wait for Rad.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Go back to your party. (Which is where?)

[MSB3000]

I WILL NOT LET THIS THREAD DIE!!

*does CPR on the thread*

where's Risp/Radium?

[Risp_old]

Radium hasn't been on AIM for the last few days. I think he's been working on that game that I'm not sure if I can tell you the details of or something. And Radium didn't give me enough permission or information to go past this point.

[Radium]

http://media.shopping.sapo.pt/Production/00FD/Assets/product/images/HALF%20LIFE%202.jpg + http://www.hpbook6.com/harrypotterbook6halfbloodprince.jpg + http://www.mindgold.com/images/top_secret_folder.gif != http://foxmage.com/BigUberbob.jpg

And I've been on AIM, Risp. You were just gone or idle every time D=

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Ahem... Back to the game?

[Fawriel]

We can't continue without Rad because Risp isn't allowed to go on DMing because he doesn't know what happens next and isn't allowed to just go inventing stuff himself because this game is actually planned ( to a degree ), seemingly unlike two certain other forum rpgs.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Uhmmm... I just meant for them to stop figting. It wastes forum space and is off topic.

[MSB3000]

aaannnddd...

Radium, can you at least acknowledge (sp) that we EXIST?

[Radium]

You guys exist, this topic isn't dead, be back soon hopefully.

[MSB3000]

can you at least tell us what happens next?

[Lem_Gambino]

I doubt it. =P

[ShadeJackrabbit]

And ruin the storyline?! NONONO!!! I'll do something bad if you do! Like throw acorns at trees!

[Risp_old]

On the plus side, I heard from Radium that he's finished HL2 and the newest harry potter book, so in theory there isn't anything taking up his time now. In theory.

[MSB3000]

he said he was procrastinating.

sp.

[Fawriel]

CT will killz0r you all! =D

[Lem_Gambino]

If we keep spamming this thread. XP

[Coppertop]

CT has struck. Amazingly enough, I don't find this funny.

You guys know when you're spamming. Cut it out. You're just making more work for me and more frustration for the other readers.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Sorry. But is this thread ever going to continue? Or will it just end it here with climbing up out of some huge pit thingy which took us 2 pages to get through a shaft?

[Radium]

It'll be back soon.

[Radium]

Another great point to join in, new kids!

<b>I often like to contemplate the meaning of fish. A fish itself is an aquatic creature resembling a squished potato with tiny wings. However, I suspect there is some greater connotation between them and the working of the universe, from their sheer coordination and fishyness. I don’t actually know what “connotation” means. Hello.
L33tz4n had done something on a control panel that involved pressing lots of buttons of varying colors, sizes, and possibly temperatures. Now the magic map was supposed to work. This was good. I liked the magic map. It saved the trouble of finding a way to walk across water. I took out the map and looked at it. By touching a location on the map, I could instantly go there. I smiled at the map. I also pretended that it was smiling back, because if it could smile it would probably be happy that it worked again.
http://foxmage.com/MagicMap.gif

Fawriel was standing behind L33tz4n watching the flashing lights on the control panel, which were now flashing in an entirely different yet equally meaningless way. He seemed to like the flashy lights a lot. I never understood what was so great about staring at flashing lights. I liked personally staring at solidly glowing lights, finding it a more spiritually fulfilling experience.
Fawriel blinked a few times to extinguish the hypnotic effect of the lights. “What’s our next adventure?” he asked me.
“I believe we should save,” I responded.
The green ferret or whatever raised an eyebrow. “Save?”
“Yes,” I explained to the confused creature, “We go stand in the general area of a specified point, and if we all die terrible, bloody death sometime afterwards we magically return to that point with no recollection of anything that happened since we last stood there, only to be guided by a better sense of intuition.”
Fawriel frowned. “I thought I was the group’s resurrecter.”
I patted him on the back. “That’s okay, because you’re still useful sometimes but not usually,” I comforted. Sometimes I amaze myself with what a good person I am.

I climbed the staircase out of the control room and strolled down a forest path for a bit, silently thinking what it would be like to be a fish and wondering if fish could wear hats. Soon I came across a large blue and white box with a door, sitting on a beach. The beach seemed to stretch out considerably farther than the last time I was here. A label on the entrance to the box read “Port-a-Save”. “There it is,” I said in the general direction of Fawriel and that blueish girl with a snake for legs, who were running and slithering (respectively) to keep up with me.
A female rust-colored ferret in black armor staggered out of the forest, looking as though she had just fallen down several deep chasms and hit lots of rocks on the way down. She collapsed in front of the Port-a-Save, hitting the side of it with an outstretched, battered katana and mouthing the word “save game”.
“Hello,” I greeted, waving. I then quickly proceeded to check her pockets for useful things.
“C’mon, hon,” a voice called from the forest. Araches stepped out, clad in a red silk loin cloth and tight shirt. “It wasn’t THAT far of a walk to - oh. It’s you guys.”
“Hello. You look hot,” I politely complimented the scantily clad vixen. She nudged Shuriken’s unconscious body with her foot and scowled at me. I waved back.
“Where does your sense of intuition tell you to go now?” L33tz5n asked me as I watched Fawriel crouch over Shuriken and ready some healing spells.
“I am unsure; I have to ask the voices,” I responded, proud that I got a chance to use a semicolon. “By the way, hello,” I added, noticing I had not yet greeted L33tz4n.


Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map">

[Ae]

Bounce around Araches on the Pogo Stick, and ask what they had been up to lately.

[Torkell]

Mmmmm... flashing lights...
There's something about standing in a darkened server room watching the gently rippling lights on the network switches as the packets trundle by. You feel as if you're watching a living organism, seeing information travel. You also get a good idea of when the network goes south at speed. Hint: green is not always good in networks. Especially solid green on the little light marked "ACT". Especially when they're all on solid.


...huh? Oh. Sorry. Erm... do what the extended ascii poster said, but without the bouncing or the pogo stick. And visit the Port-a-save. Saving is good.


/me wanders back off to the server room

[Lem_Gambino]

Do what they did and save. Try having someone other than Araches bounce on the Pogo Stick, then go to New Superultraubermegatropolis.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

Go to Antifoo island. The evil guy must be there!

[cooba]

Go to Antifoo island. The evil guy must be there!Aaaaand do you think that where are we at the moment?

Warp to Isle of Darkness and check whether is the door open now or not.

[Radium]

<b> “So, what have you guys been up to?” I asked as I climbed onto my newly obtained pogo stick. It seemed, however, rather unwilling to pogo and I collapsed on my face.
Araches rolled her hateful gray eyes. “Oh, you know, the usual. Sitting in an empty room waiting for you to remember leaving me there and send one of your lackeys -”
Not wanting the next six hours to be taken up with people talking about how awesome I was, I changed the subject. “The voices say we should go to Antifoo Isle.”
“We’re already there,” L33tz4n explained, slightly more concerned sounding than usual.
“So we can’t go there?” I quickly poked the save point with my finger as to save all the progress I made with Araches.
“We’d have to leave first.”
I frowned and looked back down at the map. “How about New Super Ultra Uber Megatropolis? That’s a nice place.”
“I guess that would work,” L33tz4n said, “but how does that g3t us any closer to defeating Lord Blackrap-”
“Don’t argue with the voices, they’re usually right.” I tapped my finger on the angular shape of New Super Ultra Uber Megatropolis, and one flash of light later the five of us were instantly teleported to a pier in the midst of a towering city. Ominous, doorless gray buildings went up hundreds of feet overhead and a sign on a post read “North Street”, referring to a street I presume went north.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map">

[Fawriel]

Aaaaand do you think that where are we at the moment?
*Aaaaand where do you think we are at the moment?


See if there are any people around, and if there are, ask one of them ( preferrably one who doesn't look like they were going to kill us or something ) whether there is anything really important or so in this town. ..as politely as that can possibly be asked, I guess.

Pageclaim, too. >o

[Lem_Gambino]

Go north.

[Radium]

<b> “Follow me… TO ADVENTURE!” I commanded my party, and began walking along North Street. L33tz4n slithered back slightly and looked over the edge of the pier.
“The water looks lower than the last time we were here…” she observed before running after us.
Eventually the street took a left. At the corner there were the doors to a large bakery and the entrance to a hotel next to it. A man was standing here with what appeared to be a giant alien demon vampire eating his brain. Shuriken put her hand on her blade defensively.
“Is there anything of importance in this town?” I asked the man.
He shrugged. “Eh. It’s a pretty big place. There’s Scholar Sam’s Magic Academy to the east somewhere, if I remember right.”
“You have a giant alien demon vampire eating your brain,” I pointed out to him.
“Yeah, that kind of sucks.”
“You want us to get it off?”
“Nah. Furious the Monkeyboy will come by and save me eventually. What I could really use is a soda right now.”
“Okay, thanks. Hello,” I greeted the man and proceeded to check my surroundings for new fun directions to go. The street went south back to the dock, farther east, and there were entrances to the two buildings.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map">

[Ae]

Thank the man and say farewell, look at the photograph, then go east and search for Scholar Sam's Magic Academy; we could always use some new spells.

[Fawriel]

We could of course ask him where it <i>is</i>.

[Radium]

<b>I bowed deeply. “Fare thee well, good face! And thankee!” I said as Britishly as possible. The man with the alien demon vampire latched onto his head smiled and waved goodbye.
I led the party along the road to the east. It ultimately split in two directions; one going north and one going south. The north path was labeled “Teleporter to Scholar Sam’s Magic Academy - this way”. The south path led to the gate of a park or something.
“The Magic Academy,” Araches pointed out, as if she had no faith in my amazing observational abilities, “we could get Sam to teach us some new spells.” L33tz4n and Fawriel nodded in agreement.
I took the photograph out of my pocket and looked at it (http://foxmage.com/TheParty.gif). I could tell it was very old because it was brownish colored and the art style was crap. It depicted the old party of local heroes; Sam before he became an old guy, Trafton before he became a French hippy, Sear when he had hair, Pandora before she died, Grandma Conquista the Ultimate Evil when she was younger, and Fooruman looking exactly the same as usual. Evidently, Fooruman had long ago reached that age where you stop getting visibly older. In the time since the photo was taken, Sam had became a magic teacher, Conquista had opened a grocery store in Placespot, and Trafton had started a cult or something.

[Lem_Gambino]

North. Enter Teleporter. =D

[Radium]

<b>Taking off along the north road, we soon reached the sparkly blue teleporter. This teleporter was created to take people from New Super Ultra Uber Megatropolis to Scholar Sam’s Magic Academy, which was located in Lower Placespot. Lower Placespot was a happy place because it was underwater. There were lots of fish. Fish can fly underwater. It’s really cool.
A brief lighting effect later, we found ourselves in the small bookshelf lined room of Scholar Sam’s Magic Academy. It was pretty small for an academy. An airlock had been added since our last visit; likely in case any fish cared to learn magic. I looked out of a window. Something white was blocking it and I couldn’t see the water outside.
L33tz4n glanced around. “Sam?” she called out. There was no response.
“He’s prolly not home,” Araches concluded, taking a book off a shelf and flipping through the pages. “And these are just spell descriptions. If we want to learn anything, we’d have to wait until he’s back.”
Obvious exits were the airlock and the teleporter back to the city.

[Ae]

Knock on the window to see if the white thing responds. Examine self.

[Radium]

<b>I tapped on the glass of the window. The whiteness covering it did not respond. “Hello,” I offered. There was still no response. I frowned at the window. It didn’t frown back. I concluded that it was either dead or mean and ignoring me.
“I’m going to examine myself now,” I explained aloud. I looked down at my body. “I’m gray and fuzzy. Except for the parts of me that are made of metal. They’re smooth and feel like car parts. And I wear this sleeveless thing that emphasizes my manly physique. Sexy,” I noticed I was now striking a dramatic pose and flexing my biceps. Shuriken, despite not being much of a magic user, joined Araches to look through the spellbook. Fawriel glanced around uncomfortably and L33tz4n slithered back a bit, looking embarrassed. “Oh, and I have pants,” I added. I had forgotten to mention I had pants. That must have been why they were looking at me weird.

[Ae]

Ask L33tz4n to go through the airlock and examine the surroundings. Assume everything that slithers can breath underwater. Or just go back through the teleporter and ask around for anyone who knows where Sam might be.

[Radium]

<b>I turned to L33tz4n, who had backed a ways into the shadows. “L33tz4n, I need you to go out the airlock and see what’s there.”
“But… it’s underwa-”
“You can breathe underwater because you slither around like a snake or iguana or something else that can breathe underwater.” She cast me an offended glare and slithered off to look at the book with Araches and Shuriken. Fawriel looked at me, then the girls, then walked over to join them.

[Ae]

Tell them that they can wait here, you are going back through the teleporter to look for Sam.

[cooba]

Obvious exits were the airlock and the teleporter back to the city.Look for unobvious exits.

[Radium]

<b>I glanced around for unobvious exits. The ground and walls appeared to be mostly solid, as did the ground. The ground being twice as solid as the walls, that is. Sometimes, though, hidden exits behind a bookshelf are opened by pulling on the right book. “I’m going to go back and look for Sam,” I told the rest of my party, “if you touch some book and the wall opens, come get me.”
“If the wall opens we’ll all drown,” L33tz4n pointed out.
“Get me first.”
I stepped back into the teleporter, watched the sparkly light effect, and found myself in the city of New Super Ultra Uber Megatropolis. I strolled back down the road to where the street went east back to the bakery, hotel, and pier, and south to a park of some kind.

[Ae]

Go into the hotel and look for a visitor center to get a map of the area.

[MSB3000]

“The water looks lower than the last time we were here…” she observed before running after us.



Realized that this is impossible and glitch it.

[Radium]

It was a typo D=. And what are you going to do, turn time back and slither that ten feet?

<b>I followed the road to the east until I came to the hotel entrance. The bell on the door made a cheerful noise as I stepped inside. “Hello,” I said to the bell. It didn’t respond, so I backed away slowly and then ran the rest of the way in.
It was a pretty small hotel; it consisted solely of a lobby and a hallway to the rooms. “Excuse me, sir; do you possess maps of this area?” I asked the tall, kind looking woman at the counter.
She raised an eyebrow. “A map? Why do you need a map?”
“I’m looking for Scholar Sam.”
“Did you check his magic academy?” she asked, obviously having no faith in my amazing observational skills.
“Yes, sir, we did.”
“And he wasn’t there?”
“Yes, sir, he wasn’t.” After I said this I began to wonder if the proper way to word it was “No, sir, he wasn’t”. It was, however agreeing with what she said. But then again, I was saying someone was <i>not</i> there. I thought about it for about five minutes. The woman politely waited until I stopped staring into space to finish.
“I’m going to go steal books,” she concluded, and walked out the door. The bell made a cheerful noise as she exited. It must have liked her more than it liked me.

[Lem_Gambino]

Go west.
Enter teleporter.
Regroup with party.
Exit academy.
Magic Map to Pandora's Island.

[Ae]

Use all ten fingers to touch the map.

[Radium]

<b>I walked out through the door (which made the happy ringing noise again when I exited) and went east back to the teleporter, rejoining my party.
For the sake of experiment, I tried touching all the locations on the map at once. Nothing happened. Disappointed, I proposed we travel to Pandora’s Island and quickly tapped the picture of the island before any of them could disagree.
After the mandatory flash of light, I found myself standing on the shore of Pandora’s Island. The paths had grown over a tad since our last visit, but there were two clear trails through the bizarre, green-stemmed trees that went to the east and west. I looked around. Shuri was the only other person here.
“You’re not everybody else,” I commented.
“No. No I’m not,” she responded. There was a long, awkward silence before she continued. “They never regrouped with you. They were happier looking through a book that was none of them could actually use.”
“Huh. That’s weird.” There was another long silence. “We can go get them later or something. Let’s go to ADVENTURE!”

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map">

[Ae]

Sprint down the east trail.

[Radium]

<b>“Let’s go to east,” I said, sprinting merrily down the east trail. Soon, the path ended at what appeared to be the ruins of a castle. Most of it had collapsed in on itself, and some of it had collapsed on the mutilated body of a dead person. I silently wondered if the person was dead and mutilated to begin with, or if it was a side effect of having a castle collapse on you. Bits of the castle still stood, but most of it was now a pile of broken stones and splintered wood. I’m not sure where the wood came from.
“I remember this place,” I told Shuriken, “I built it.”
She looked at me with disbelief. “You built it?”
“Yeah. With a brick wall and a cardboard box. Oh, and the invisible gremlins helped a little.”
“O… kay.”

[Ae]

Give Shuriken a broken stone, and examine the body.

[MSB3000]

Check your arm for laser things.

[Radium]

<b>I carefully searched the rubble until I located a nice, rock-shaped stone. I heaved it off the ground and presented it to Shuriken. “Here, take this stone.”
She looked at me confused. “Why?”
I didn’t understand what was so confusing to other people about picking up everything that wasn’t nailed down. “You know,” I answered with rising frustration, “in case we need it later. What’s so hard to understand?” She reluctantly accepted the boulder and cast me a soul piercing glare, to which I waved back and said hello. I then proceeded to check my awesome robotic arm for laser guns. To my disappointment, I found none.
I examined the dead man. His head was flat, as though a castle had fallen on it, and there were the ruins of a castle on top of his head. He was wearing a white jacket with red sleeves and a red leaf printed on the back. His denim jeans had a chain running from his belt and hooked to his pocket. His feet sported a fine pair of ruby slippers.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map">

[Coppertop]

Take the slippers.

[Radium]

<b>The man didn’t appear to be particularly alive, and dead people usually don’t need to wear shoes - unless they’re the dancing kind of dead people. Considering this man couldn’t very well dance with a castle on his head, I removed his shoes. For a moment I wondered why he was wearing them in the first place, but concluded he probably stole them off another dead person.
The only obvious exit was the path leading back west to the shore.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/rubislippas.gif" alt="Ruby Slippers">

[Ae]

Duct tape his feet to the gound. We wouldn't want the wind to blow away the poor dead man's feet, do we? Return west and go west.

EDIT:
<b>
The only obvious exit was the path leading back east to the shore.<b>
Wouldn't the path lead back west back to the shore? We came east to get here.

[Fawriel]

We have DUCT TAPE?
The game is as good as won!

...I don't really have any commands to give. I'm not good at randomly walking around. At least in games.

[Radium]

<b>I whipped out my trusty roll of duct tape and began binding the dead man’s feet to the ground. Shuri watched me inquisitively. “What are you doing?” she asked.
“Taping this man’s feet to the ground. So they don’t blow away,” I explained, as though it weren’t obvious. “I took his hot shoes.” Shuri refrained from asking any further questions as I finished ensuring the man’s feet were safe in this cruel, hard world.
Upon completion, the two of us traveled west back to the shore and continued down the path for some time until we reached a small log-cabin-style building. A sign hanging above the door read “Pandora’s Island Trading Post”. We had visited the trading post before in our travels. Though it appeared abandoned, it was constantly observed by tiny invisible gremlins that were ready to flay the skin from your body if you tried to walk off with something without leaving something else. Occasionally Bill Gates would come and buy everything in order to destabilize the economy. I entered the building and examined the items I was carrying and the items that lay on the ground.

<b>For Trade</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Empty Bottle"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Mitten.gif" alt="Mitten"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Nail.gif" alt="Nail"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/kidcons_by_iconfactory/Subtract.gif" alt="Blue Rectangle"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/people/littleiconpeople_by_davidrenelt/Canadian.gif" alt="Toy Canadian"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/copland3_by_iconfactory/Cola.gif" alt="Cola"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/game/chess_by_iconmuseo/10bishop.gif" alt="Bishop">

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/rubislippas.gif" alt="Ruby Slippers">

[MSB3000]

Trade slippers for empty bottle. (Haven't you ever played Zelda? >O )

[Ae]

Attempt to trade the photograph for the Nail, Toy Canadian, Soda, and Bishop. Surely such rare art should be worth a lot.

[ShadeJackrabbit]

As a side note:
Because of radium's absence, I have lost my grip over what has happened so far.

[White Rabbit]

Trade the pogo stick instead of the slippers.

[Ae]

We might NEED the pogo stick to use as a weapon, or at least to jump high.

[MSB3000]

Start breakdancing after the trades are complete, out of pure joy.

[Radium]

As a side note:
Because of radium's absence, I have lost my grip over what has happened so far.Shuriken went and found Araches. Then the POV changed to Uberbob. Uberbob is walking around and using the Magic Map to teleport to different places now. And no, Ae, you can't get a super good deal for the photograph.



<b>I picked up the metal nail and empty bottle and in trade put down the slippers and old photograph. Out of the sheer joy of trading, I broke into dance. Shuriken watched, terrified.

For Trade</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/rubislippas.gif" alt="Ruby Slippers"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Mitten.gif" alt="Mitten"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/kidcons_by_iconfactory/Subtract.gif" alt="Blue Rectangle"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/people/littleiconpeople_by_davidrenelt/Canadian.gif" alt="Toy Canadian"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/copland3_by_iconfactory/Cola.gif" alt="Cola"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/game/chess_by_iconmuseo/10bishop.gif" alt="Bishop">


<b>Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Nail.gif" alt="Nail"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Empty Bottle">

[Ae]

Trade the pearldiver's knife and the pogo stick for the Cola and the Toy Canadian. Touch the New Super Uber Ultra Megatropolis on the Magic Map. Walk to where the man with the giant alien demon vampire eating his brain is, and give him the Cola.

[Blackraptor]

that might be a waste of cola...;|. or waste of a trade.

[Ae]

Don't you remember what he said as he was giving us directions?



<b>“Nah. Furious the Monkeyboy will come by and save me eventually. What I could really use is a soda right now.”</b>

Besides, we might get something nice in return, hopefully.

[Blackraptor]

I guess. If he doesnt we could always tie him up and drag him off and trade him back for whatever we traded the cola for. Possibly for even more stuff if they consider the alien attached to his head as a seperate item.

[Ae]

That's a good thought, we could get the pogo stick and knife back.

[Radium]

<b>I took the toy Canadian and the can of cola and put down my knife and the rusted pogo stick. “That’s everything,” I said merrily, “Let’s go leaving.” With that, I exited the building, Shuriken behind me. I took out my map and tapped the image of the distant city island. There was a flash of light and the two of us landed on the pier.
We continued north a ways from the pier until we reached corner with the hotel and bakery. The man was still here, with the giant alien demon vampire still latched onto his head. He wiped the blood off his face and waved to us.
“Here,” I said, “take this carbonated beverage!” I grabbed the soda and thrust it towards the man.
“Wow, thanks! This is just what I needed!” he responded, opening the can and taking a swig. “I’d feel bad just taking your soda, though.” He reached into his back pocket and removed a wallet, pulled out a huge bundle of money, and tossed it to me. The size of the bundle seemed to surprise even Shuri.
“Thanks,” I said, looking at a nearby wall in awe. The wall was made entirely out of concrete.
“No prob.”
Obvious exits were the road going west to the park and Magic Academy, the road going south to the pier, the entrance to the hotel, and the entrance to the bakery.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Nail.gif" alt="Nail"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Empty Bottle"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/people/littleiconpeople_by_davidrenelt/Canadian.gif" alt="Toy Canadian"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Canadian Dollars">

[White Rabbit]

We're rich now. :)

Waste $50 million on room service at the hotel.

[Fawriel]

Don't listen to WR.

Well.. maybe check back on what the rest of the party is doing in the academy or what's it and possibly make a sarcastic remark about what THEY have accomplished while you earned ten billion Canadian dollars.

[White Rabbit]

...what are we supposed to do?

[cooba]

Open the door on Isle of Darkness, I think.

[Blackraptor]

Was the man canadian or did he just happen to have canadian money? >O.

[Radium]

I need compass directions, Faw ;o. The game started sucking before when I made it a series of disjointed places that were somehow connected.

[Ae]

Go west and use the teleporter to get into Scholo Sam's Magic Academy, then what Faw said.

[Coppertop]

10 billion Canadian? That's like, a million in real dollars. :p

[MSB3000]

Pick up a castlepiece and keep it. Once in UberMegoPlace, throw it in over a random building, or into a window. (This game alows me to do what I can't in real life.)

Wow... that was super lag.

Hijack a car and go for a joy ride.

[Risp_old]

I assume he's ignoring you till you give an INTELLIGENT command.

[Torkell]

Go into the hotel, and do an impersonation of marvin (the paranoid android from Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy). But don't tell anyone it's an impersonation.

[Ae]

I assume he's ignoring you till you give an INTELLIGENT command.
I already did that? (So did Fawriel, but he didn't give compass directions.)

[Risp_old]

It's easy to miss you amid all these people who want us to wander the world, throwing bricks at people and robbing banks and acting like robots and all sorts of henious things.

[MSB3000]

But that's the point of Uberbob!

Go with the closest to intelligent idea.

[Radium]

<b>Because I have some other things I want to spend my free time on now (what with school and all) Risp will be acting as Temporary DM again. Listen to Risp. He has maps that consist of squares connected by arrows and stuff. Risp is your master =|</b>

[Risp_old]

Also remember that I have school, so I can't reply 24/7. But I still can reply more then Rad, who has LAZY. Or is busy. Or something.

"Let's go off, off to the magic academy!" I proclamed gleefully, and started striding purposfully west. A brilliant idea then struck me, and I slowed down, looking for a brick. Failing to find one, I decided that the best way to find one would be with it's cooperation. "Hello, Mr. Brick. Where are you?" I shouted at the top of my voice, and I'm sure I would have gotten an answer if the ferret, whatshername, didn't grab me and drag me the rest of the way to the teleporter. She started to rant to me in length about something about wasting time or something like that, but it wasn't as important as my musings on the startling lack of brick attendance in this area's schools.
I decided to inquire later to the mayor about passing equal rights laws for bricks, then realized Sammie or whoever was trying to get me to step into the circle with the glowing lights in it. Though I was not, as I must have already said, a fan of flickering lights, I decided to touch it to humor her, and suddenly... the city had run away and left me in Scholar Sam's academy!

Taking a deep breath in preperation to protest this unprecidented departure, I stopped and thought about how sophisticated my inner naration sounds when I'm mad. Sadly, that cooled me off and once again limited my vocabulary. I decided that I might as well use the deep breath to proclaim something. "Hey, people! I have obtained ten billion canadian dollars! Look at how much richer I am then you all!" I stood there for a moment, basking in the glory of now being the richest person in the whole room. Araches was angrily saying something about exchange rates and inflation, but she was just jealous and to be ignored. I turned and looked at the white thing out the window, now blue with the dying lights of the teleporter. At least it was properly wordless with admiration.
I turned back, and saw that everybody was once again reading that one book, or making meaningful looks between me and the airlock. I decided that the reason they hadn't been awestruck was because they hadn't been able to take in my declaration the first time, so I tried again. Taking a deep breath, I shouted "Hey, people! I have obtained ten billion canadian dollars! Look at how much richer I am then you all!"

Still no awestruck looks. I turned once again to the window. I turned back. I took another deep breath. Araches slapped me.

[Coppertop]

Haha.

[White Rabbit]

Billion*. >O

[Risp_old]

Corrected.

...you notice that, but not the actual spelling mistakes?

[Lem_Gambino]

Enter the teleporter and wonder how I got this stupid. Warp to the Isle of Darkness.

[Risp_old]

I pressed the little black Isle of Darkness drawing on my map, and then Scholar Sams academy blinked out of existance around me and the real, life-sized Isle of Darkness appeared around me. I found myself on a beach of sinister snow, and with a massive and heavily made door built into the cliff face to my east. That door reminded me of a wall, because walls don't have handles and so didn't the door. I looked around, but I was alone. I congraduated myself on my brilliant move of going off without warning, so I could work my amazing observational skills without the distractions of all those other people.

[Ae]

Throw a sinister snowball at the door.

[Risp_old]

I rolled a snowball from the snow and slung it at the ....sdoor. The door got a bit wetter.

[Ae]

Grab another snowball, warp back to New Super Ultra Uber Megatropolis, then go North, and enter the Bakery.

[Risp_old]

I made a snowball, and then tapped the magic map with the hand with the snowball. I appeared in Super Ultra Uber Megatropolis, and walked my way to the bakery. As I was putting my map away, I noticed it was wet with admiration for me!
My eyes were met with a few dozen pies, each on a velvet cushion, artfully arranged in a jewerly case. They were golden brown, with luxiourously flakey crusts, and steamed as though freshly baked. Each had a tiny golden sword sticking out with a price tag on it, though many just had "you don't want to know" written on the price tag. Lounging around the room were a large crowd of various snooty-looking people chatting, and behind the counter was an old, regal-looking man. He was wearing a purple baker's hat with a crown-like pattern on the bottom, a deep red cape, a giant golden sword on his back, and other various needlessly-expensive-looking clothes. He seemed to be haughtily ignoring me.

[MSB3000]

He seemed to be haughtily ignoring me.

Fix this problem and throw the snowball at him. Really hard too. Then inventory check.