ToU Part 3! Come join in before it becomes 40 pages!

[Fawriel]

..............do we currently have any actual OBJECTIVES or so except to wander around...?

[Radium]

One person wanted to try to get into the Isle of Darkness. Another person wanted to find Sam. It's not so much that you don't have objectives as that you don't persue what you think to be objectives.

[Ae]

I think the objective is to buy one of the velvet cushions.

[MSB3000]

I think our objective is to do everything possible here, then go and do that at The Isle of Darkness.

[Risp_old]

<b>I threw the snowball at the man at the counter, but I missed and hit myself in the knee. Really hard too.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Nail.gif" alt="Nail"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Empty Bottle"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/people/littleiconpeople_by_davidrenelt/Canadian.gif" alt="Toy Canadian"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Canadian Dollars">

[MSB3000]

:(

Use bottle to collect some pie filling. Use the toy Canadian as a distraction if anyone notices/cares.

[Risp_old]

I walked to the jewelry case, and tried to open it to get at one of the pies inside. The store owner drew his golden broadsword. I threw the toy canadian at him, and he cut it in half in midair. A toy ca and a nadian dropped to the ground. "If you want a pie, thief, you must pay for it!"

[MSB3000]

Present your ten billion dollars and offer to buy the store. If he refuses, ask him what his name is, and if he has a pet.

[Risp_old]

I took out my ten billion canadian dollars, and presented them to the store's owner. He started to laugh, and took out a pie and pointed to it's price label. "This is the ultimate pie, our cheapest. It costs ten billion and one dollars. I'm sorry, <i>sir</i>, but how can you buy out our store if you can't even buy one of our pies?"

[Ae]

Apologize, put the ca and the nadian into the empty bottle for safekeeping, leave the bakery, and travel west to the Park.

[cooba]

I rolled a snowball from the snow and slung it at the ....sdoor.!!! CrazyT like stuff \o/

[Risp_old]

No, this has nothing to do with the crazyt. I just felt that the word door should start with an S.

I scooped up the nadian and the toy ca into my bottle. I pointed at the man and took a dramatic pose. "I'm sorry for greenpeace," I said, and left amid the confused looks of much lesser-minded people.
I walked down the road west, then entered the park. I could tell it was a park because there was a large sign hanging over the enterace read "park".
The park was mostly empty, with a few circular trials that didn't really go anywhere and a lot of shrubbery. The center was cleared of all shrubs and had a man and a booth in it, though. The man, seeing me, cheerfully shouted, "I'm a stamp collector! Look at my amazing array of stamps!"
I looked at the large board hanging behind him, and agreed that his collection of stamps was amazing. About half of them seemed to be crudely made from paper, and one was a peice of cardboard with a stamp badly drawn on it in crayon. "I'm willing to pay anybody who can bring me a rare and unique stamp! Like those ones!" For some reason, he was still shouting. So, I decided to shout back, "Okay," instead of just say it. I did, and he didn't seem to mind.

[Ae]

Tell the man you have a very rare and unique foreign stamp, and hand him the Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla serlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire.

[Risp_old]

I took out the largest, least stamplike thing in my inventory and showed it to him, proudly. However, all he said was, "Now, I may be nearsighted almost to the point of blindness, but that huge ball of junk does not look like a stamp to me."
He paused for a moment. I started to hold my breath. "I've been brought exotic stamps from all four corners of the world. Stamps found floating in outer space, stamps discovered deep underground, stamps granted by the gods," he said, gesturing wildly at various dirty and fake-looking stamps on his board, "but they all have had two things in common. One, they all have been thin and flat. Two, they have all had some sort of tacky picture drawn on printed on them. Your 'stamp' doesn't meet either qualification."
I nodded sadly, my face as blue as my soul.

[Ae]

Touch Pandora's Isle on the Magic Map. Walk to the trading post, trade a few hundred dollars for the Photograph, and another few hundred for the Blue Rectangle.

[Risp_old]

The 10 billion canadian dollars are counted as one item. You can't just buy the entire inventory of the post by dividing your money supply into tiny, worthless amounts.

[Ae]

In that case, just tell the stamp man to be careful, then return to the academy.

[Radium]

Compass D=

On a side note, remember that there's a savepoint on Antifoo before you do something stupid.

[MSB3000]

Save, then sell your soul for godlike powers.

[Risp_old]

Okay, after seeing MSB's command AE's looks good.

I waved the stamp man goodbye and walked north to the teleporter. I spent a while doing dances around it and shouting at it till I decided to just step in it. I found myself back in the magic academy. Araches looked up from a book, with what looked to be the word 'Book' printed on the cover. "Well? Did you get anything done or were you just going for a walk?"

[MSB3000]

"You know just as well as I do that I almost never have a purpose for anything I do. What's the name of that book you're reading?"

[Risp_old]

"You know just as well as I do that I never have a purpose for what I do," I said, then changed the subject (I find that speaking of my awesomeness often disquiets people). "What's that book you are reading called?"
Araches glared at me. "Can't you read? The title is written on the cover."
She showed me the book. The cover said 'Book', and below that in smaller letters 'of Magic' then in even smaller letters 'seventy-fifth edition'.

[MSB3000]

Open it up and see if it is interesting. Try to learn a spell.

[Ae]

Compass D=

I didn't know which way it was from the park, we had to go west to get to either, so I just assumed it was next to the park.

[Fawriel]

Screw compass.
As if anyone except the DM knew how to move to get to places.
And only the DM has any idea what could be done to actually ADVANCE on this QUEST...

[Ae]

I think we have to sell something to the stamp man, buy a pie from the bakerknight, or find Scholar Sam.

[Risp_old]

Two of those things you listed as goals are part of the puzzle you all need to solve. The other isn't. I won't tell you which is which. It would help if you could figure out what the puzzle is, but you suck at finding things.

I tried to snatch the book from Araches, but she didn't let me. "Just because I showed the book to you doesn't mean you can have it!"

[Ae]

Ask if there is any news of Scholar Sam.

[Risp_old]

"So, any news of Scholar Sam?" I asked, trying to sound cool and laid-back. And noticed Araches had left to the other end of the room. Faw, who was also in hearing range, shook his head. I began to shake my head too, out of sympathy.

[Ae]

Look around the room for a note he might have left, don't forget to check under the bookcase.

[Risp_old]

I searched for a full two minutes for notes, then got bored of the idea and just wrote a note for myself and found it. I was delighted at how complementary and informative it was. I considered showing my discovery to my group.

[Ae]

Don't show it to them; just crumple it up and discard it. Ask if anyone can spare one canadian dollar to aid your quest.

[Risp_old]

I tried to crumple up the note then remembered I had written it on my forehead.
I took a dramatic pose, and cleared my throat. "The 'buy Uberbob pies' fund is of need of one more canadian dollar. Do you wish to have a pieless Uberbob on your conscience? Please, donate today."
Everybody looked at me strangely. Nobody offered up any canadian money. I guess they were all too poor.

[Ae]

I don't know what else to do.

Ask Fawriel to come with you, and lead him out the teleporter and west to the bakery. Show him the pies.

[Risp_old]

"Faw, folow me."
Faw shrugged and walked to me.
We walked into the teleporter and appeared in the Megatropolis. I shouted, "Let's go... to PIES!" and ran west and straight into the wall of a neighboring building. Faw did not seem to share my initiative, and had started walking south.

[Ae]

Lead him EAST to the bakery, and show him the pies. Comment on how much the party needs one.

[Risp_old]

The only path is to the south.

[Ae]

South it is!

[Risp_old]

I followed Faw south, and found myself, amazingly, on some of the empty roads south of the teleporter! Faw started going east. He apparently had a fairly good idea of where we were going. I, for one, had already forgotten.

[Ae]

Follow him.

[Risp_old]

I followed Faw east and north and found myself in the bakery. I was deeply amazed at Faw's magic. He was more astonished by the pies. The baker looked at me with a distainful look, but only a bit of puzzlement at Faw.

[Ae]

Ask him if he will help you find a Canadian dollar somewhere. Take him EAST* to tour the Stamp stand.

[Risp_old]

...fine, fine, fine. Let me make a little ASCII map.


Teleporter Bakery
| |
Roads - Canadian Guy - Hotel
| |
Stamp Man Pier

[Risp_old]

Anyway, I'll pretend you gave correct directions this time. But no more now that you have a (coughincompletecough) map of the island.

"Now it's time to leave!" I tapped Faw on the back. He turned to me.
"Aww, but we just got here." He tried to give me a mournful puppy-eyed stare. "Do we have to leave yeeeet?"
I was a bit annoyed at how obstinate he was, and just said, "No," and dragged him to the stamp man. I'm so buff I can drag a person in full chain mail around by the neck!
I put him down in front of the stamp man. "Hello, mister stamp man, and will you meet my friend... whatshisname... that green guy..."
"Faw," said Faw.
"Yeah, him. Can I introduce him to you?"
The stamp man looked at me funnily. "Yes, you can. You just did."
"Oh," I said. I hadn't looked at things that way.

[Ae]

Go North, East, South to the pier, and look around. Make sure Faw comes as well.

[Risp_old]

I dragged Faw to the pier, and he was too tired to protest. I looked around it. It was made of wood and raised from the water- much more then normal for piers due to the greatly lowered water level. There was a great lack of ships, money, and clues around the pier. I did find an anchor embedded in one of the piles, though, and began to contoct an elaborate backstory involving an extrodinarily strong sailor, a couple sea-ninjas, and an exciting hunt for buried treasure in the pier. I fumbled around searching for a pen to write it down but found none on my person.

[Ae]

Rush back to the north, and west to the teleporter. Tell everybody that you found something, and they need to come. Lead them back to the pier.

[Risp_old]

I considered running around excitedly about finding an anchor near the pier, but Faw said, "No."
It's amazing how he was able to read my mind so well there! Expecially after I had spent several minutes staring at the anchor and then started to walk back to the teleporter!

[Ae]

Grab Faw and warp to Pandora's Island

[MSB3000]

What do you propose we do when we get there?

[Ae]

I don't know, ask Fawriel to find clues.

[MSB3000]

And a big letter "Q."
No, really.

[Risp_old]

You aren't so much suppost to find clues as you are to find the huge and important area you've been overlooking. I'll make an official reply sometime tomorrow, when I'm not so tired.

[MSB3000]

Inventory check.

[Risp_old]

<b>"Hey, Faw!" I shouted as I ran up to him, grabbed him, and pressed Pandora's Island on my map. We appeared there, and I ran straight into a tree. I would have been hurt, too, if there wasn't a Faw in front of me to cushion my impact.
I asked his unconscious body to find clues. It ignored me.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Nail.gif" alt="Nail"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Bottle full of Canadian Bits">

[MSB3000]

Where'd we get a nail? Look for possible stamp making materials. Keep everything that is found. Go... to the trading post.

[Risp_old]

<b>I looked around, and found a flat leaf from one of the tree-like plants! It was a bit small to be used as a stamp, though! And I walked to the trading post!

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Nail.gif" alt="Nail"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Bottle full of Canadian Bits"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/nature/yojisplants_by_yoji/N41.gif" alt="Tree-like-plant-leaf">


For Trade</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/rubislippas.gif" alt="Ruby Slippers"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Mitten.gif" alt="Mitten"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/kidcons_by_iconfactory/Subtract.gif" alt="Blue Rectangle"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/game/chess_by_iconmuseo/10bishop.gif" alt="Bishop"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife">

[MSB3000]

Ask Faw to wake up. If he does, ask him if the stamp guy might mistake the Blue Rectangle for a stamp. If he doesn't, ask yourself. If the answer is yes, trade the nail for the Rectangle.

Excuse me while I try to make sense of our objective.

[Risp_old]

I can't give you any hints as to what your objective is at this point without outright telling you what to do next. Really, it's not hard to find out what you are missing, if you just tried exploring rather then walking around in places you have already been.

[MSB3000]

Well, I hadn't actually asked you for a clue...

And please make another code map. I can't keep this stuff in my head.

EDIT: Warp to Antifoo and save at that place where we did before. Then warp to UpperPlaceSpot and look down the ladder. I think I have an idea. Think.

[Risp_old]

I teleported to Antifoo Island, still carrying Faw's body with me. I appeared on the beach, and found every possible exit blocked off by thick walls of red tape. A signpost was erected here, saying, "We are sorry, but Antifoo Island is closed for re-fooing. Please come back later," followed by a long list of various dates. The last date, for 'grand opening,' had 'never' writted by it. I shrugged, touched the porta-save and listened to it as it played a little tune, and teleported to Upper Placespot...
The first thing that hit me was a sudden chill. The second thing that hit me was that Upper Placespot seemed to have frozen over, the ground now blanketed in snow and the buildings icy. The third thing that hit me was the thought that since Upper Placespot seems to now suddenly be deserted and iced I could probably find free popsickles lying around! And the fourth thing that hit me was the now-frozen ocean, as the ground beneath me gave way and I plummeted down a steep slope of icy debris to the aformentioned body of water.
I now found myself in standing on frozen water under the glittering Upper Placespot. A huge slope of frozen rubble was to my east, and a giant frozen wave blocking the way to the north. The south and west, however, were open. Looking closer, I saw the frozen wave had a frozen guy in a surfboard stuck on it. And looking down, I could actually see the ocean floor through the ice. It only looked maybe five feet down from here.

[MSB3000]

Examine the surfer dude. Revive him using the first thing that comes to mind.

Examine the sea floor directly under UpperPlaceSpot. Look for Sam's academy. Suddenly realize that this is all part of an evil plot because it is impossible for a wave to just freeze. It would have to happen all at once and really fast, in other words, magic. Or technology.

Splorch around a little bit.

[Risp_old]

The man is at the top of a wave, far above me. I considered for a few moments trying to use my super powers to fly up to him and melt him out, but then realized that chances are he was dead of hypothermia within minutes of being frozen. Like most surfers, he wasn't exactly bundled up. But he might have a popsickle for me... well, if I wanted popsickles it would be easier just to find my way somehow to upper placespot and steal them from shops.
I looked down. I was unable to find Scholar Sam's magic academy under there. It should be pretty visible from the outside, given as the water is just five feet deep and the academy is a bit over ten feet tall, so I used my deduction powers to say that it must be a bit farther off.
I realized that it must be some spell that was making the ice freeze like this, because it couldn't happen naturally. Then I immediatly forgot and tought for a while about how funny it was that that one wave could freeze like that while moving.
I tried to splorch around but the ice was a bit too solid for it. After one particularly loud attempt by me to jump into the ice, Faw began to stir.

[MSB3000]

To do list:

1. Make sure Faw wakes up a bald man.

2. Remember what happened to Pandora's car.

3. Look for Lower PlaceSpot. It's right under Upper PlaceSpot, right?

4. Attempt to break through the ice with the nail, then the leaf.

5. Look aroung for the ladder back up to Upper PlaceSpot.

6. File a Fish Dish.

[Risp_old]

I attempted to use my amazing transformation powers to make Faw hairless and human. No luck.
I tried to think about some car, but got bored when I failed and tried scratching at the ground with more or less everything in my inventory. After several minutes of working I had a small scratch on the ground! And Faw was looking around, rather confusedly.
I looked for the ladder to Upper Placespot, then after a while realized that it should be east of here, a place now occupied by the rubble.
"Where are we?" Faw asked, "and why are you trying to pry that fish out of the ice?"

[MSB3000]

Look west and south.

Examine rubble.

Ask Faw about what happened to Pandora's Car. And to make sure that it will be an intelligent request say, "Faw, do you remember what happened to Pandora's Car." Repeat question until Faw answers an answer that will give me a clue, or when pigs fly.

Attempt to catch a pig.

Walk south, making Faw follow you.

[Risp_old]

West and south were directions. I couldn't see that far across them due to the uneven terrain and biting mist.
I asked Faw where Pandora's car was. He responded, sadly, "Its insurance policy ran out. So it blew up."
I walked south. And found myself at what looked to be a medieval blacksmithy, carved out of ice. A thin man in a parka was sitting in front of it, carving a pie out of ice. On seeing me he called out, "Hello, stranger."

[Ae]

Ask if he knows the people who run the bakery near the hotel on the other island.

[MSB3000]

Then ask him if he has any stamp-like objects. Ask him how long everything has been frozen.

[Risp_old]

"Do you know the people who run the bakery near the hotel?"
"We've met. Their pies are good, though I couldn't afford to buy more then a few."
"Do you have any stamp-like objects?"
"Why would I?"
"How long has everything been frozen?"
"Not that long. For the last few days, at the most. It's hard for me to tell, because I've been spending too much time working my trade to look outside that much."
Faw asked his own question, too. "Is that a pie?"
"Yes, it's my most recent creation- the ICE PIE!"

[MSB3000]

Slyly ask him if he knows about the Stamp-man.

Look around. Examine nose.

[Risp_old]

I tried my sliest slie. "Sir, do you know the stamp man?"
"The stamp man? The stamp man?"
"That lives in Super Uber Ultra Megatropolis."
"No."
"Aww."
I looked around. The frozen water had not gotten any lower or less frozen since I had last looked. The building had not begun to melt.
My nose, however, had changed color. To red. Red like blood, fire, and anger. Except those words all convey hot things, and my nose at the moment was not a hot thing. I pondered that for a while, then realized I was freezing to death by standing in one place pondering.

[Ae]

Go back north then west

[MSB3000]

But first look east.

[Risp_old]

I looked east. The frozen sea extended for a long distance in that direction, as it also did west and south.
I walked north for a while, then walked west. I found Scholar Sam's magic academy, half buried in thick ice. There were stair cut into the ice that lead up from the airlock, which was mostly under the current sea level, but there was enough frozen rubble there to make the airlock unusable.

[Ae]

Go east then south, ask the icesmith if he wants to trade his carving tools for anything.

[Risp_old]

I stretched my legs a bit more, and found myself in at the icesmith's smithy. I decided I wanted his carving tools.
"Could I have your carving tools?"
"Well, I guess. I've had a craving for pies lately. As you can see, I've been making pies out of ice in the hopes that they will taste like real pies. No luck so far. I guess I wouldn't really need these tools if I had a pie."
"Hmm..."
I hung my head, sad that he wouldn't trade his carving tools for something I had already.

[Fawriel]

We obviously need something stamp-like to get a dollar or so and then buy pie. Yay!

[Ae]

Tell him that if he lets us borrow his tools, we will go and get him a pie.

We can break through the ice into the Academy with the tools, maybe.

[Risp_old]

"If you give me your tools, I'll bring you a pie."
"How do I know you won't just walk off with the tools and never come back?"

[Ae]

Ask if he will take the first aid kit, rope, and duct tape as collateral.

[Risp_old]

I offered him a random jumble of my inventory.
"What help will collateral be if I starve to death?"

[Ae]

Ask for one Canadian dollar, or a stamp, so you can afford to buy/trade for a pie.

[Risp_old]

"Could I have a canadian dollar?"
"Why would you want one canadian dollar for? Do you know how little those things are worth?"
"No."
"Oh."
"Could I have a stamp?"
"No."
Fawriel sighed and started to jog in place.

[Fawriel]

What does the photograph the trading post offers show?

I guess cutting it to the vague shape of a stamp would make it the closest thing to a stamp we can get..

[Ae]

Warp to Pandora's Isle, and race Faw to the trading post.

[MSB3000]

Make sure that when racing, choose the smartest route.

[Risp_old]

Sorry, I was being lazy.

<b>I teleported back to Pandora's Island, and before I had a chance to start running around Faw walked up to me. "Next time you go to upper placespot, don't bring me unless you really need to. This chainmail doesn't provide much in the way of insulation." I ignored him and walked to the trading post.

Inventory
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Nail.gif" alt="Nail"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Bottle full of Canadian Bits"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/nature/yojisplants_by_yoji/N41.gif" alt="Tree-like-plant-leaf">


For Trade</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/rubislippas.gif" alt="Ruby Slippers"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Mitten.gif" alt="Mitten"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/kidcons_by_iconfactory/Subtract.gif" alt="Blue Rectangle"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/game/chess_by_iconmuseo/10bishop.gif" alt="Bishop"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife">

[Fawriel]

Adadasds no!

Unless we can trade in the Canadian rest for the photo, trade the leaf for the photo.
If we can, proceed to trade the leaf for the rectangle and the Canadianstuffs for the photo.

[Risp_old]

Whoah. I just noticed that for the longest time, the canadian money had dissapeared from the inventory.

<b>I traded a bit around. Faw walked into the trading post and bemusedly watched me shuffle leaves and bits of toys around the floor.

Inventory
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Nail.gif" alt="Nail"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/kidcons_by_iconfactory/Subtract.gif" alt="Blue Rectangle"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Canadian Dollars">


For Trade</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/nature/yojisplants_by_yoji/N41.gif" alt="Tree-like-plant-leaf"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/rubislippas.gif" alt="Ruby Slippers"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Mitten.gif" alt="Mitten"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Bottle full of Canadian Bits"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/game/chess_by_iconmuseo/10bishop.gif" alt="Bishop"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife">

[Ae]

I meant take the ca and the nadian out of the bottle, and trade those. Poke Faw in the stomach!

[Fawriel]

Congratulate Risp on his well-done interpretation of Faw's character.

[Risp_old]

The toy ca, nadian, and the bottle are now forever bound as one item. MSB was right in thinking it was a magic bottle.

[Radium]

Faw walked into the trading postFor some reason I get a mental image of a giant wooden pole that says "TRADE" on it D=

[Ae]

For some reason I get a mental image of a giant wooden pole that says "TRADE" on it D=
Doesn't everyone?

[MSB3000]

Ask Faw to pretend to be the stamp guy, and then present him the blue rectangle, saying it's a magical stamp from Pangea.

Then poke Faw in the stomache, believing him to be a fish.

[Risp_old]

Just so you know, I'm not dead. I was just ignoring that command because it's stupid and pointless.

[Ae]

Trade the nail for the pogo stick and warp back to New Super-Ultra Megatropolis.

[Risp_old]

<b>I got my pogo stick back and teleported back to New Super Uber Ultra Megatropoils. Faw didn't teleport back. I wonder why he didn't want to follow me around the world?

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/kidcons_by_iconfactory/Subtract.gif" alt="Blue Rectangle"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/system/redtab_by_iconfactory/Document.gif" alt="Photograph"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Canadian Dollars">

[Ae]

Go north then west to the park.

[Risp_old]

Check the map more, okay? Adding a south there on the end, to make the command work. Sorry for the delay, I was doing long peices of AP government homework.

I walked to the park and then stood there, breathing in deeply to enjoy the fragrant smells of the flowers, the glue smells coming from the stamps, and the faint smell of something burning in the distance. I entertained the thought that I could enjoy these smells all the time if I were to glue a burning flower to my chest, before getting bored with it.

[Ae]

Walk over to the stamp stand.

[Risp_old]

I walked to the stamp stand. The man at the stand was gazing proudly at his stamps at the moment.

[Ae]

Offer him the Blue Rectangle, and ask if he can smell anything burning.

[Risp_old]

"Here, take this blue rectangle."
"Okay."
He took the blue rectangle.
"Do you smell anything burning?"
"Hmm? Oh. It's just indoor barbeque night at the hotel again. They tend to get out of hand."

[MSB3000]

Tell him the rectangle is a rare stamp.

See if he believes you. If he does, then ask for something in return. If he doesn't, stare at him for a moment, grab the rectangle and run as fast as possible to the hotel's barbeque. (N, E, E.)

[Risp_old]

"That blue rectangle is a rare stamp."
"Do you think I'm a total idiot? It doesn't even have any gluey stuff on the back to stick the stamp to things, or little serrated edges."
I tried to grab the rectangle back and failed, so I just settled for running to the hotel.
When I got to it, the hotel lobby was much the same. A counter, a few plush chairs, and a door leading off to the rooms hallway. There was a grill in one corner. The grill was off and looked to have been for a few hours but it was so badly made it was still sizzling and smoking with heat. I thought for a moment how strange it is that a hotel in such a rich city would be so small, but then realized how there are so few travelers business would be bad. Having come to a logical conclusion my brain started working in overtime and I spent the next few minutes trying to figure out how fish could fence.

[Ae]

Leave the hotel, go west then north the Academy, and announce that Fawriel got himself lost on Pandora's Isle.

[MSB3000]

Then duct tape the grill to a person (besides oneself).

[Risp_old]

Suddenly, struck with a thought, I ran all the way to the academy teleporter and jumped through, dramatically!
Appearing, I announced, "Faw is lost on Pandora's Island! We must go bring him back!"
Faw, in the corner, looked up from a book. "I am?"
"You are!"
Araches got up, stretching. It looked like most of the party had been sleeping, and I woke them up with my charismatic presense.

[Ae]

Tell everybody about all the details of your recent adventures without them.

[MSB3000]

Try to form a smart idea.

[Risp_old]

"I went around and found out that Upper Placespot is frozen solid and gave stuff to the stamp man and was about to set the first aid kit on fire before I decided not to."
Araches, now more or less awake, glared at me. "Hand me over the first-aid kit."
"Why?"
"Because I have a feeling that if I let you carry it everywhere it will end up destroyed."
I thought for a few long moments, but was unable to think of a good response for that.

[Ae]

Run out of ideas and blink.

[Dev]

Hand over the first aid kit before you end up trying to pass it off as a stamp. Ask everybody if they came across any info on uber-freezing spells in the books they read.

[Risp_old]

I decided to give in, to prevent a mutiny. "Alright, you take it then."
Araches took the first aid kit, with a rather sarcastic sounding "thank you."
I then decided that since Araches knows best about resource allocation, she must know best about everything. "Araches, have you come across any uber-freezing spells in that book."
"Actually, I have. In foo magic, the spell 'freeze ubers'."
Shuriken looked up. "Would that work on Uberbob?"
"If it did it would actually be useful." Araches sighed and went to the library. "If you really are worried about how Upper Placespot was frozen, I guess I can try to find out. I really doubt it will help any, though."

[Ae]

Ask if they want to come with you to Upper Placespot to look for whatever froze it.

[Risp_old]

"I don't want to. But I know if you want me to you'll drag me there anyway."

[Ae]

Get out the map, grab them, and warp to Upper Placespot.

[Risp_old]

In one dramatic motion, I drew my map and teleported the party to Upper Placespot. After a short slide down to the frozen sea, everyone started reluctantly poking around to try to find what magic caused this freezing.

[Ae]

Carefully examine your surroundings.

[MSB3000]

S, S.

[Risp_old]

I walked south, and found myself back at the ice smithy. Shuriken followed me, not having the magical knowledge to try and crack the spells. There wasn't anything else south. I considered going south then realized how boring that would be.

[Ae]

Introduce the party to your good friend The Ice Smith.

[MSB3000]

Then ask them their ideas on what to do next.

[Dev]

Take your party and warp back to New Super Uber Ultra Megatropolis. Send Araches, Leetzan and Faw back to the academy to research the spell that froze Upper Placespot for a while.

Take out the photograph of the local heros and cut out the part featuring Fooruman's head in a 1 inch square, then give it serrated edges. Roll a piece of tape and stick it to the back. Take Shuri and go back to the stamp guy. Show him the immitation stamp and say, "Behold! The rare Fooruman stamp! A very important collector's item featuring an almost-important old guy! Your life is MEANINGLESS without it! What would you give to own such a spectacular item as this?!"

[Risp_old]

Finally, someone who isn't going around chatting with random people. I can even excuse the lack of compass directions for this.

I took out my map and teleported to New Super Uber Ultra Megatropolis. Suddenly feeling decisive, I quickly formulated a plan. "Faw, Araches and L33tz4n, go back to the academy to research the spell. Shuri, stay with me."
As all my team's mages ran off, looking slightly surprised, I took out the stamp. I cut everything but the Fooruman head off with my teeth, and after chewing on the scraps for a while, bit in serrated edges. I ran off to the stamp man, and presented him my 'stamp'.
"This is the rare and powerful Fooruman stamp! Only one was ever made!"
"Wow, that's rare! ...why is it so wet?"
I looked at the stamp. Maybe using my mouth to cut the stamp out wasn't that good idea. Still, I was on a roll.
"I recovered it from a SHIPWRECK."
"How could it be wet, then? The sea is frozen."
"It was a shipwreck... IN THE SKY!"
"Oh. Okay. Well, for an item so unique as this, I'll give you ten billion dollars. No more, no less. Deal?"

[Ae]

Deal.

[Risp_old]

<b>"Deal."
"Good. Here's the money, and look at my new stamp!"
He put the stamp on his board. I took the money. It was another very fat stack of cash.

Inventory</b>
<img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Canadian Dollars"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Real Dollars">

[Ae]

Travel N, E, E to the Bakery in hope that they will accept more than Canadian dollars.

[Risp_old]

I ran to the bakery, Shuri at my heels. The baker looked up when I came in, then quickly looked aside. I took out my money and cheerfully stated, "Hi. I want to buy one of your ultimate pies."
The baker, still acting rather distainfully, took the money out and quickly counted. "I'm sorry, <i>sir</i>, but this isn't exactly as much as ten billion and one dollars."

Pageclaim!

[Ae]

"Baker, how many Real Dollars are in a Canadian Dollar?"
Ask Shuriken if she has any money.

[Risp_old]

"How much can I get for these canadian dollars?"
"Hah! Not much. Ten billion and one canadian dollars are worth one normal dollar."
I stopped for a moment. So close!
I decided that since I WAS so close, whatshername must have the key!
"Hey, you!"
Everyone, including all the classy-looking regulars, turned to me. "Do you have any money?"
One of the less classy looking ones replied, "Much more then you'll ever have."
The other regulars laughed in a polite sort of way and turned back.
Shuriken shook her head.

[Ae]

So there are Canadian dollars, Real dollars, and Normal dollars?

[Risp_old]

I'm just using words like real and normal to indicate non-canadian dollars, since just saying 'dollars' might confuse people when mentioning both types of dollars in a single sentance.

[Dev]

Just to clarify here, do the pies cost ten billion and one *real* dollars, or Canadian dollars?

[Risp_old]

If it was canadian dollars, then you could easily afford billions of them.

[Fawriel]

..uhm. What's the problem?
If Ten Billion Canadian Dollars = 1 Real Dollar,, and we have Ten Billion Real Dollars as well, then why don't we just buy that pie?

[Risp_old]

One real dollar is worth ten billion and one canadian dollars. We are short.

[Ae]

Wha?

[White Rabbit]

FIRST we have to find 1 Canadian dollar.


THEN, we give the man all the money we've got. That will be exactly enough.

Cost of pie=10 billion and 1 real dollar.
10 billion Canadian dollars = ALMOST 1 real dollar.
10 billion and 1 Canadian dollars = 1 real dollar.
We have: 10 billion real dollars and 10 billion Candian dollars, i.e. 10 billion and ALMOST 1 real dollar.

(So is there some kind of super-hyper-inflation in this world, or are the pies just really, really good? :( ).

[Risp_old]

I looked at the pie. It had got to be good looking 'cause it was so hard to see. It also must have been tasty because I wasn't able to taste it, though that was probably just the glass case between the pie and my tongue.

[Ae]

Try to break the glass.

[White Rabbit]

D: Uberbob cannot be so unchivalrous as to try and steal pies.

...ask one of your friends for a Canadian dollar. :P

[Risp_old]

I was about to punch the glass case open, when I remembered that the baker was carrying a magic golden broadsword in one hand. You don't mess with people who can wield two-handed weapons in one hand.

I decided that the reason Shuri didn't have any money was because I hadn't asked her enough. "Shuri, do you have a canadian dollar I can have?"
"I already said I didn't have any."
"How about now?"
"No."
"Now?"
Shuriken left. Before she could suddenly accumulate money, even!

[Ae]

Catch up to her and warp to Antifoo Isle

[Dev]

Catch up to her and warp to Antifoo Isle

Yeah, I don't think there's anything more we can do here. I hate to admit it, but we've been reduced to wandering the earth in search of a Canadian dollar. We've got enough money to buy a small island and yet we can't afford a pie. These are dark times for Uberbob.

[Risp_old]

I ran out to look for Shuri. I didn't find her so I assumed she had used the teleporter back to the academy, so I followed her back and indeed she had.

Everyone was hard at work researching the spell, except for me and Shuri, who was sharpening her sword thingy.

[Ae]

Announce to that party that a trip to Anitfoo Isle is required. Warp the party to Antifoo Isle.

[MSB3000]

Antifoo is closed forever, remember?

I demand that Uberbob stop calling Shuri "whatserface" in an attempt to raise moral. Instead call her "Shuri."

[Ae]

Is it? I forgot. In that case, The Isle of Darkness.

[Risp_old]

"Hey, everyone! Stop whatever you are doing, because we are going on a FIELD TRIP!"
Everyone was sufficiently startled for me to teleport them all to the Isle of Darkness. It was big and snowy and evil and had a big sinister mountain with a huge handleless door and an even huger lack of exits.

[Ae]

Oh, right, we've been here.

Take a snowball and warp the party to Pandora's Isle. Obviously we had the map upside down and touched the wrong spot.

[Risp_old]

I made a snowball then announced, "I'm bored. Let's go somewhere else."
I touched the map and we appeared in Pandora's Isle. There was a path east, to the collapsed fort, and a path west, to the Trading Post.

[VashTheStampede]

go west, get supplies first.

[Risp_old]

<b>I walked to the trading post, dragging everyone else with me.

Inventory
<img src="http://foxmage.com/Pogo.gif" alt="Pogo Stick"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Canadian Dollars"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Real Dollars">


For Trade</b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/nature/yojisplants_by_yoji/N41.gif" alt="Tree-like-plant-leaf"> <img src="http://foxmage.com/rubislippas.gif" alt="Ruby Slippers"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Mitten.gif" alt="Mitten"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Bottle full of Canadian Bits"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/game/chess_by_iconmuseo/10bishop.gif" alt="Bishop"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Nail.gif" alt="Nail"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/sci-fi/arrakis_by_iconfactory/Crysknife.gif" alt="Pearldiver's Knife">

[Ae]

Walk east and east to the collapsed fort.

[Risp_old]

I dragged everyone east some more, and came to the ruined fort. Same fort, same dead canadian guy. Both were equally dead. I wondered for a moment if brick could be considered dead, then stopped because my brain was out of shape and still trying to catch up with me.

[Ae]

Examine surroundings and eat the remains of the snowball. Send Fawriel back west and west with the pogo stick to trade it for the other pogo stick, then the new pogo stick for the bottle full of canadian bits.

[VashTheStampede]

try seeing if the canadian man is really dead by coaxing him with the canadian bits.

[Risp_old]

Whoah! That was an error! There aren't really two pogo sticks.

...I hate doing the trading post inventory.

[Ae]

I figured as much, just have him trade the pogo stick for the Bottled Canadian Bits then.

[Risp_old]

"Faw! Go trade this pogo stick for the bottle full of canadian bits!"
I handed him the pogo stick and pushed him in the direction of the trading post. He started running to it, and I continued to stare in that direction. When he came back my eyes were beginning to water. I took the canadian bits from him. The dead canadaman had a head a bit too flat for him to be alive, so I decided to instead see if I could coax him back to life. Still not blinking, I waved the canadian bits over the dead canadian guy. Nothing happened. Dissapointed in my lack of skill in necromancy, I put the bottle away.

[Ae]

Give L33tz4n the bits of canadian and ask her to try and bring the dead canadian guy back to life.

[Risp_old]

I offered the Canadian bits to L33tz4n. "Here, try to bring that guy back to life. I know you don't have any magic that can do it, but you can summon big shiny things, and that's close enough."
L33tz4n, sadly, did not even take the bits, let alone try to bring the canadian guy back from the dead. "Why d0n't you ask someone who know5 necromancy?"
"The only person I know who knows necromancy is Scholar Sam."
"Wh4t about healing magic?"
"If I were to turn to Faw every time I wanted someone healed, he would actually begin to think he is useful. No, I have far greater fish to fry."
L33tz4n began to reply, but I cut her off with a sharp "shhh". I was getting tired of explaining such obvious things.

[VashTheStampede]

start frying a marlin in a pan

[Risp_old]

I took out a pan and started to fry a marlin in it. Nobody else seemed to be able to see it, though, and just looked at me funny when I asked them if they wanted any fried fish. It's for the better, though. When I tried eating the tender, juicy fish I realized I didn't really want to give any of it up. However, when I commented to that effect everyone looked at me like I had just eaten a brick.

...I wonder how all that mortar got in my mouth...

[Ae]

Ask Faw to ressurect the dead Canadian Guy.

[Risp_old]

"Hey, Faw!"
"Yes?"
"You are worthless. Now go ressurect this guy for me."
Grumbling, Faw cast a quick spell. A fountain of white light came down from the sky onto him, and a fake-looking pair of angelic wings enveloped him. When they parted, he was standing and fairly uninjured.
"How are you feeling?"
"Eh?"
"What?"
"I can't hear you!"
"Oh." He still had bits of castle in his ears.

[Ae]

Pick the castle pieces out of his ear.

[Risp_old]

The castle bits appeared to be part of his ear, now. Looks like it would have been wiser to remove the castle bits before Faw cast his spell.

And this page is part of Risp's collection of claimed pages! It would be wise if none of you tried to claim it after this!

[Torkell]

Tell Faw to use his uber magic skillz to remove the castle bits from his ear. If he refuses, then blame him for the castle bits being there.

Oh, and attempt to claim the page as well.

[Risp_old]

"Faw, use your awesome surgical magic to remove those castle bits from that guy's ears."
"That would kill him, since the castle bits were made part of his ears by-"
"Useless! YOU are the reason the castle bits are there, and you can't even remove them!" I pushed Faw onto the floor and danced around him, calling him names.

I tried to claim the page, but then I died and went to the abyss of hell. It was full of various versions of Xion. Exits were down and plot convenience.

[Ae]

Kill the man, take the castle pieces out of his ears, and ask Faw to ressurect him.

[Risp_old]

Faw can't cast ressurection again for a while. I would normally say 'for the rest of the battle', but this isn't a battle. I would have gone through with your command sans the last part, but I felt pity.

[MSB3000]

"You are worthless."

Not what I want to hear.

From anyone. I don't care if this game is meaningless, I'd rather it be meaningless and happy than meaninless and depressing. It's been like this the entire game just about. =P

Wait until Faw can ressurect again by profusely opologizing to him and telling him he has one free shot. (With his fist, no magic.)

[Risp_old]

Suddenly, I had a change of heart. "Faw, I'm sorry for everything."
"Everything?"
"Everything." He didn't seem that surprised at this change. Maybe it was a good idea. "I've had a change in heart. I want to be kinder, more compassionate from now on. Now let's wait here for a while, relax, celebrate my change for the better, then kill that candian guy."
"That sounds nice... what?"
"And take the castle bits out of him then bring him back to life."
"...oh." Faw looked relieved.
"Now, punch me."
Faw suddenly looked pained. "But I thought we were friends!"
"For, what, the last ten seconds?" Wow, I was feeling more lucid already!
"Err."
"Look, feel free. It'll take away stress."
By now everybody was crowding in.
"Fine, fine." Faw punched me. It was fairly harder then I expected. I guess walking around everywhere in chainmail and carrying heavy equipment did make Faw a bit stronger. Araches cheered.

[MSB3000]

=D



.


EDIT: Now stay this way the rest of the game.

EDITEDIT: By "this" I mean not evil and mean to your companions. Not partying forever.

[Risp_old]

We stayed there, partying, until Blackraptor's troops took over the world and killed us. The end.

[MSB3000]

No. You didn't have bold on.

Get up, shake hands with Faw and tell him to alert everyone when he can revive a dead guy.

Then fall asleep on the spot.

[Radium]

No. You didn't have bold on.No no no, it's <i>didn't say Simon Says</i>

[Risp_old]

I didn't have bold on because I don't want some idiot thinking that was a real DM post.

I'm assuming you also want me to pass a lot of time.

Later, that night...

"Hey, Faw, wake up!"
Faw woke up, yawning.
"It's time."
I pointed to the corpse of the canadian man. "I killed him not long after you went asleep, because I was getting bored and he looked to be getting impatient. I also took the castle bits out. Bring him back."
Faw cast the spell, and the night was thrust back by the same cheesy pillar of light as last time. The canadian man rose from the ground, this time with ears that, while functional, looked like they were full of horrible wounds healed by time. In a way they were.
I was feeling that my great change of heart had suddenly made me smarter.

I'm sorry, I just got tired of narrating an idiot. I'll go back soon, I promise D=

[Ae]

Ask him what had happened to the castle, and if it was his.

[Risp_old]

"What happened to you? With that castle?"
"It collapsed as I was... walking by."
"Oh, okay. Is it yours?"
"No."
I looked at the collapsed fort. One of the big blocks had "Your all stupid" carved into it. It looked faintly familiar, but I couldn't exactly remember why.

A magic cookie to the first person who correctly guesses what this collapsed structure was, and who made it.

[Ae]

Ask him if he would like to join your party and adventure for a good cause.

<STRIKE>Notanedit:</STRIKE> Uberbob made it.

[Risp_old]

"Would you want to join my party?"
"Will there be chips?"
"There will be adventuring for a good cause."
"No thank you, then. Doesn't sound like my kind of party."

[Ae]

We may buy chips if you'd like them, when we come across a store. That is, if you join our party.

[Risp_old]

"If you follow us I might buy some chips for you."
"The chips aren't important. I asked you about chips because I thought you were talking about a party, not a Party. Look, I don't want to go around having villians try to kill me. I've died enough already."

[Ae]

We can just ressurect you again?

Grab the Party and touch touch-to-warp side of the magic map against the man, and hope everybody ends up in the same area.

[Risp_old]

"We can bring you back to life again."
"No, no, that isn't the point-"
I ran towards the guy and pressed my map on him. Nothing happened. The map appears not to do anything when you apply equal pressure to all the icons.

[Ae]

No, no, no. Touch one location of it against him.

[Risp_old]

I tried to touch the map against him again, but this time he wasn't surprised by my move and dodged.

[Ae]

Give the map to Araches.

[Risp_old]

I handed the map to Araches, who was still asleep despite all the killing and SFX. She didn't take it, given as she was asleep.

[MSB3000]

Ask people who are awake what the castle was for, don't ask the Canadian guy again please.

[Risp_old]

"What was this castle for?" I asked, for lack of a better person, Faw.
"I dunno. You were the one who made it. Ask yourself."

The magic cookie deal is now officially off.

[MSB3000]

Look in a reflective surface and ask what the castle was for, and then try to remember.

What time is it?

[Ae]

Go west and west, then trade the Bottle full of Canadian Bits for the Ruby slippers. Equip them, then go back east and east.

[n00b]

Don't listen to AE's move and use MSB's move.

[Risp_old]

I looked for a reflective surface to ask what the castle was made for, to no avail. I decided instead to ask the time of day. "Around two thirty in the morning, what was this castle made for?"

No response.

[MSB3000]

I was asking you, almighty Risp, what time of day it is.

[Risp_old]

You got your answer. I just don't like stating things in the exact way you ask them.

[Ae]

Search Araches for the first-aid kit before she wakes up.

[Risp_old]

<b>I took the first-aid kit from Araches, who was unable to really hide it in that outfit. She began to stir.

Inventory </b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Bottle full of Canadian Bits"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Canadian Dollars"> <img src="http://www.mrtec.com/Cash.gif" alt="Ten Billion Real Dollars">

[Ae]

Ask Faw to hold onto it for safekeeping, and warp him to the Superwhatever Megatropolis island with you.

[Risp_old]

"Here, Faw, take this first-aid kit."
He took the first-aid kit and we left for Super Ultra Megatropolis. Super Ultra Uber Megatropolis. Whatever it was called.

[Ae]

Examine surroundings.

[Risp_old]

I was at the piers. On a pier. Faw was on the pier too. The pier was on, I suppose, the water. Not much water, because most of it had been drained, but still some. There was one exit, leading north.

[Ae]

Skip north.

[Risp_old]

I skipped north, singing a song. Faw followed me at some distance, acting like he didn't know me. The roads contined in all four compass directions from here.

Narrating walking around can get boring D=

[Radium]

Just walking around can get boring, too.

[Ae]

Examine exits and surroundings.

[Risp_old]

There was a canadian guy with an alien on his head. The exit to the north lead to the bakery. The exit to the west lead to more roads. The exit to the east lead to the hotel. I forgot where the exit south went to.

[White Rabbit]

Ask the alien why he is wearing a Canadian the wrong way up.

[Coppertop]

Lol.

[Ae]

Walk into the hotel, and examine the everything.

[Risp_old]

I walked into the hotel. It did not seem to contain everything.

[MSB3000]

Warp to Pandora's Island with Faw. Then go east and ask the Canadian guy if he has any money we could borrow. Especially one Canadian dollar.

[Risp_old]

"Follow me... to MONIES!" with that memorable quip, I teleported with Faw to Pandora's island and we walked to the collapsed fort.
Getting there, I saw that Araches had awakened. I, ignoring her, tapped the canadian guy on the back. "Do you have a canadian dollar I can have?"
Araches clapped, and said, "Brilliant! Asking a canadian man for a canadian dollar! I'm glad you were so quick in figuring out where to get that last dollar!"
I'm glad she was so supportive. The canadian man looked at me a little dubiously. "Well, I guess since you did save my life and all I might as well. As long as you don't try and drag me to certain death against dark lord Blackraptor, again."
I considered that for a moment.

[MSB3000]

Ask Araches why she just didn't get the dollar herself instead of relying on a person with the puzzle solving abilities of a lobotomy patient. After hearing her explanation, warp to SuperUberMegaTropolis with Faw and Shuri. Ask them to make sure Uberbob does nothing stupid with the Pie. Go north into the bakery. Ask the Bakery Knight what the U.P. does.

[White Rabbit]

Hey, maybe we should also ask the Canadian about being worn by the alien the wrong way up? :(

[MSB3000]

Definitely.

[n00b]

Also dance.

[Risp_old]

I decided to start ignoring the canadian guy, and instead talk to Araches. "Araches, if it was so obvious why didn't you do it?"
"You were ignoring me when I told you to do it, and the canadian guy wouldn't take me on my word that I was acting on your authority."
"Oh. Go on not having my authority, then."
I slapped Shuri awake and teleported with her and Faw back to SuperUberUltraMegatropolis.
"Hey, people. Make sure Uberbob doesn't do anything stupid with the pie."
Faw, the more awake of the two, quickly made the connection. "You are going to buy it? But you never took the canadian dolla-"
"No time for chit chat, old chum!"
I ran to the bakery, with Faw and a now-awake Shuri following me.
The baker man didn't even look up on my arrival. "What does the ultimate pie do?"
He perked up at the implied chance of getting money. "Well, it's a pie. You eat it. It tastes good. And then you go and brag to all your rich friends at how you just ate a pie that cost ten billion and one dollars."
I ran backwards out of the room and was about to say something witty to the canadian guy outside before tripping on a rock and landed on my head.
However, in an amazing move I used my momentum to spin and break into a BREAKDANCE.
Shuri walked up to me and kicked me over. I got up, and tried to remember what quip I was going to give. "Oy, Canadian guy! You are wearing that alien on your wrong face!"
"What?"
"I don't know. It seemed to almost be the right thing to say at the time."

[MSB3000]

I slapped Shuri...

Now how is Uberbob supposed to marry Shuri? >O

Realize something has gone wrong, ask Faw + Shuri to wait, warp to Pandora's Island, go east, ask the Canadian Guy for the dollar. This time wait until the dollar is obtained, then go back to SuperUberPlace. Go north and buy the Ultimate Pie. Attempt to buy the Pie for free, and before the BakerKnight can respond, offer the money as currency.

[Blackraptor]

uhh why didnt we take the dollar? ;O

[Ae]

Don't ask them to wait, take them with you; they might end up at the Acedemy again.

[Risp_old]

"Hey, people, in all my brilliance I realized I forgot to take the dollar. Not like any of you helped."
Shuri gave me a dark look, but said nothing. I wonder why.
I teleported us back to Pandora's Island and ran east. I grabbed the dollar out of the canadian guy's hand, slapped him on the back, and teleported back to SuperUberUltraMegatropolis. To my surprise, he appeared along with me, Faw, and Shuri. "I thought you didn't want to come with my party."
"I don't. I just hitched a lift, so to speak."
I felt that was a logical enough answer, so I let him leave.
I went back to the bakery, and took out my money.
"Hey, Bakerknight!"
Nobody responded.
"Hey, Baker person!"
Still no response.
"Hey, I want to buy a pie!"
The bakerknight shrugged, and opened the register. "Alright. That money you have there is just enough for an ultimate pie."
Wow, he could tell how much money I was holding from a distance!
Trying not to look impressed, I responded, "Well, I guess it is. But I want to buy your ultimate pie for free."
"No."
"Why not? Why can't I buy it for the universal currency of poverty?"
"Why not?" he mocked me, "Because I'm the one with the broadsword."
"Oh. How about I buy it for free, with this money as currency?"
"What?"
"I don't know. That's what the voices told me to do."
Shuri sighed and took the money out of my hands, walked up to the baker, and gave it to him. He gave her an ultimate pie. She walked back to me.

[Ae]

Tell her she can hold it, and warp the Party to Pandora's Isle, go East and grab Araches, and warp the Party to Upper Placespot. Walk in the direction of the Ice Smith.

[Fawriel]

Be glad about the fact that there seem to be no mental insistutions in this world.

[Risp_old]

I shuffled over to Shuri and whispered in her ear, "tell her she can have it."
With that I teleported us to Pandora's Island. I ran east, with Shuri and Faw following me, and grabbed Araches. Araches wrenched herself free and motioned to Shuri, who proceeded to kick me.
After she stopped, I got up. No time to think about things like pain! I teleported the party to Upper Placespot. After a bit of sliding, I took stock. Araches still looked angry, Shuri's foot was covered in blood, presumably mine, Faw was looking for butterflies, and L33tz4n was invisible. Or, at least, I presumed she was invisible because I couldn't see her there.
I walked the party south, to the icesmith. When I got there, he his forge out and was hammering a lump of ice into a swordblade.

[Ae]

Offer to trade the Ultimate Pie for his Ice Tools, ask which way to go to get above the Magic Academy, and if he has anything else to trade.

[Risp_old]

"Here, I have a pie."
"A pie? What flavor?"
"I dunno. Maybe it tastes like ultimates."
"Eh, I'm not picky. What was it you wanted?"
"Your carving tools."
I handed him the pie, and he walked into his blacksmithy. I wondered, for a moment, if blacksmithies are for metal, wouldn't an ice smith have a whitesmithy? This occupied me till he came back out with his carving tools, and handed them to me.
"Do you have anything else to trade?" I asked him.
"You could buy some of my wares, but I doubt you will have the money or the need for iceswords."
"Oh. Which way is the magic academy?"
"Err, it should be northwest from here."

[MSB3000]

Ask him to tell us about everything about ice swords.

[Risp_old]

"Tell us everything about ice swords."
He looked at me in a funny way for a moment, then went on. "Ice swords are swords. Made of ice. Or do you want me to define 'ice' and 'sword' as well?"

[Fawriel]

Not so bold now, are we? Haw. Haw. Haw.

[Risp_old]

It was an error anyone could have made D=

"Not so bold now, eh?"
"What?"
"I don't know. It just seemed like the thing to say at the time."

[MSB3000]

Oh. I thought ice swords were Ice Swords and had something to do with freezing stuff when struck.

"Examine the carving tools."

[Risp_old]

The carving tools were sharp things made for carving ice. They looked surprisingly sturdy, and were probably enchanted in some way. If you stuck one into a wall and hung a grand piano from it, it would be the wall that breaks first.

[Ae]

Head off to the Northeast, and chisel into the ice nearest to the academy. Try and look for the white thing that is in front of the window.

[Risp_old]

I walked northeast and straight into the huge cliff of debris under Upper Placespot.

[White Rabbit]

Before chiselling with the carving tools, examine debris and find out just how huge and high it is.
(What and where is Upper Placespot?)

[MSB3000]

Inventory check:o

[Risp_old]

Oh, and if anybody wants to know, I'm not DM anymore. My authority ended when you got the carving tools, actually. I'm hoping that if everybody knows it will galvanize Radium to action.

[Coppertop]

*kickstarts Radium*

[Radium]

*kicked by Copper*
Oh.. right. Radium's back, kids!



<b>Okay, it was really, really cold. Imagine standing outside in January wearing nothing but boots, gloves, and two pieces of duct tape - only the duct tape is actually expensive looking fabric with some sparkly parts presumably of magical significance, and the January is actually a magically frozen chasm in the middle of the ocean.
But <i>oh so luckily</i>, we were under the leadership of the mighty Uberbob! The gray rabbit, seemingly unbothered by the cold (possibly due to this wonderful invention called “pants” which they never give to sorceresses) was leaning over the heap of icy debris at the base of the cliff. “Debris…” he spoke mysteriously, “spelled curiously French for such a simple concept, don’t you agree?” He turned to Fawriel, who was still clutching the first-aid kit. Uberbob had previously given the kit to me and asked me to keep it safe. A bit later he took it and gave it to Fawriel, requesting the same thing. He was more obsessed with that particular item than anything else we have encountered. Well, maybe with the exception of my clothing and how he could get it away from my body.
The green weasel was perplexed by Uberbob’s comment. He shifted the first-aid kit uneasily, looking for a visual cue and finding none. “Um… Yes?” he tried.
“Precisely!” the rabbit exclaimed slamming his robotic fist down on one of the blocks of ice, snapping the mechanical limb in two. “And wouldn’t you say this cliff is approximately 354 and one half feet tall? L33tz4n, convert to metric so Faw knows what I’m saying.”
Not surprisingly, he had forgotten L33tz4n entirely and left her at the ruins. There was this long silence while he waited for a response, maybe thinking she would hear him and come to his aid. Not wanting to spend all day watching frost appear on my fur, I did a quick estimate. “’Bout 100 meters,” I choked out over my shivering.
“You’re not L33tz4n, you can’t be smart,” Our mighty leader responded matter-of-factly. As he darkly glared at the cliff before us, I briefly considered casting a fireball spell on myself to avoid freezing to death. Then, suddenly appearing to be in a much lighter mood (than usual, even!), the rabbit unloaded all the random objects from his pockets onto the ground and began narrating everything he had.
“Inventory </b>
<img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/FirstAidKit.gif" alt="First-Aid Kit"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/kid/treasures_by_irondevil/Bottle.gif" alt="Bottle full of Canadian Bits"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/Rope.gif" alt="Rope"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/warehouse_by_pixture/Tape.gif" alt="Duct Tape"> <img src="http://www-ksl-svc.stanford.edu:5915/doc/icons/unlabelled/question-mark-icon.gif" alt="Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/tv/aeonflux_by_iconfactory/TheMap.gif" alt="Magic Map"> <img src="http://www.iconarchive.com/icon/objects/mountaineeringgear_by_iconfactory/IceAxe.gif" alt="Ice Tools">
<b>” he explained with mediocre HTML formatting. “I have to ask the voices what to do now. Stand by please.” Then he stopped moving and, apparently, thinking.
I took off my hat and wrapped it around my shoulders for warmth while Uberbob mentally idled. The path through the ice went to the west and to the south, and the icy cliff below Upper Placespot towered above us. </b>

[Risp_old]

Oh, and it might help you to know Araches is narrating there. I just noticed that after Rad logged off D=

[Ae]

Give the map to Fawriel; order him to teleport back for L33tz4n, and to go west from the current position when they get back. Go west.

[Dev]

Or just let Faw Townpipe there (I assume he can still do that).

Yeah, I just wanted the 1000th post. And welcome back DM Rad! =D

[Fawriel]

I got the 1000th reply. Muahaha!
And do what Dev says.
In general.
Well, in general in this game.

Pacelame.