ToU Part 3! Come join in before it becomes 40 pages!

[Lem_Gambino]

...

At least I get this page. D= And the 2000th reply.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

The 2001th reply is mine.

Congrats blacky.

Finally canada achieves something =D

anyways just go west

[Dev]

<b>I suddenly heard several voices in my head shouting, "GO WEST!" and one saying, "No, go East!" I decided to allow majority rule. We all headed West, with no problems whatsoever, until a rabid hyena robot left from the shadows and devoured us whole. Then we had problems.
_____________________________

I looked around for some sort of sign that I had saved. There was none, though I suddenly felt strangely paranoid of laugher composed of 1's and 0's.

http://www.foxmage.com/C___S.png

[Lem_Gambino]

Crud.

South.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

>O you Dev

[Odin]

wait no not south.

Observe surroundings.

[n00b]

I agee with Odin.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

I'll stick a fork in you if you send another cyborg at us, be it a zombie or a hyena.

[n00b]

I'll stick a fork in you if you send another cyborg at us, be it a zombie or a hyena.
Ooh ooh! Can we contest wit' Androids instead?

[Dev]

Hey UNKNOWNFILE, why don't you have a talk with Jeff, the peer-mediating rabid hyena robot! =D

<img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v280/devthemagister/sprites/hyenarobot.gif" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com">
"Hello UNKNOWNFILE! =D You know, we all feel violent, angry and murderous sometimes, but there's a time and a place for everything! You may feel like forking Dev in the head when he sends rabid robot monsters after you, but that's when you need to excercise <i>restraint</i>! Say it with me, now: <i>restraint</i>! Forking people in the head may make you feel good about yourself, but you're sacrificing the feelings of other people for your own satisfaction. That's not real happiness, that's called being a <i>dumb (-)</i>! Say it with me! <i>Dumb (-)</i>! Remember kids, when you fork Dev in the head, it makes me a sad rabid hyena robot!"

<b>I examined my surroundings. There was a large gate to the North, with various runes on the front. Lying before the gate where four platforms engraved with similar runes. I was holding a notebook and a deck of Tarot cards. Uberbob was telling Chad the story of the Little Rabid Cyborg Zombie Who Could.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C___S.png

[Blackraptor]

hahahahahahah, kudos to Jeff.

South

[Dev]

Dude, this is a game. If you don't like it, no one is forcing you to play. I'm doing what Radium tells me to do, and not much else. He told me to put a maze here, and told me to fill it with robots. Take it up with HIM, but don't start filling this thread with attacks on me for doing my job.

[Dev]

<b>We headed South, and found Fooruman still holding up the previous gateway with his oar. He waved hello to us and shouted something about frostbite. We waved back.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Here's a fork, you know what to do with it.

Anyways go north

[UNKNOWNFILE]

and if you can double post, so can I ;O

[Odin]

Shut up UF.

North, Shuriken on hand, Araches on foot, Faw on heart, Leetzan on mind. Have Uberbob pull the lever, then save.

[Raven aka StL]

NO, SAVE FIRST (-)! Or there might be death from above :(

[White Rabbit]

Do what Odin wrote. Go N into maze, then E, N, E, N, E.

[Torkell]

http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap2c.png
Edit: I don't think we've got any way of getting past a rabid cyborg hyena, so I'm treating those as dead-ends.

[Fawriel]

*hugs Dev* ^^

[UNKNOWNFILE]

/me gives Odin a severe forking

Go north.

[White Rabbit]

Stop repeating what I say!

[UNKNOWNFILE]

WR, I am not repeating every single >O word you are saying.

[Dev]

STOP FIGHTING. Uberbob would be ashamed of you, seriously.

<b>"Fooruman, come with us," I said.
"But what of the GATE?" he inquired.
"We know a way forward," I replied.
"We do?" the others asked simultaneously.
"Yeah, we do."
We all traveled North again, solved the puzzle, SAVED, then passed through the second gate. We reached another wall, with a door and a sign which declared it the Polar Dervish and mentioned rabid hyena robots. We the entered the doorway and were met with much binary laughter.
We proceeded through the maze, going East, North, East, North, East. Waiting for us down the third hallway's Easternmost point was, in fact, a rabid hyena robot! "Hello," it said. "My name is Dave, and I'll be your rabid hyena robot for this evening." He then proceeded to rip us all to shreds, and seemed to enjoy it very much, though it was hard to tell since I was the first one he ate.
__________________________________

SAVED, then passed through the second gate. Before us was another wall, with a door and a sign which looked strangely familiar.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

It's a bit eerie how similiar this is to how you started the Romero Challenge.

[White Rabbit]

N, W, N, E.

[Raven aka StL]

talk to the hyena bot since its not as meager as the ones before... Fooruman must then whale on the hyena bot with his mighty oar :D

[Dev]

@WR: That's a bold move. You've never even explored West, yet you assume there's a way to go North and East from there? =O Well there is, but you miss descriptions by not exploring each part on its own.

<b>We traveled North, West, North, then East. We stood in a long hallway between too high, stone walls (heheh, I said "high" and "stone"). We came to a door leading North, while the hallway continued to go East.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

[White Rabbit]

Oh darn, I meant N, E, N, W. ;|

Go W.

[Dev]

<b>We traveled back West until we returned to the door leading South. The hallway continued Westward.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[White Rabbit]

S!!

[Torkell]

http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap2d.png
(dotted lines show uncertain walls)

[Odin]

S, look around, N, E.

[White Rabbit]

No, let's go S, then N and W because we've been E.

[Torkell]

Hmm... explore somewhere new (WR), or check to see if two previously found paths connect (Odin)?

I bet we find every rabid cyborg hyena first anyway.

[Odin]

Knowing how the maze connects can help us get through it faster, though I doubt that the two paths are connected. Going west seems better.

S, look around, N, W.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Sit around and wait for Jeff, the peer-mediating rabid hyena robot.

[Dev]

<b><s>Jeff the peer-mediating hyena robot came and solved the conflicts between Uberbob and Araches, then ate them both.</s>

We went back South and looked around. The hall we were standing in stretched East and West. We then went North and West until we came to a door leading North. The path continued Westward.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Jeff the peer-mediating hyena robot came and solved the conflicts between Uberbob and Araches, then ate them both.
haha

I vote north

[White Rabbit]

And I dictate we go north.

[Dev]

<b>We all headed North. We stood in yet another long hallway that stretched in both directions. I could hear the faint echo of binary laughter nearby.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Erm west.

PAGECLAIM IN THE NAME OF CHEESE

[Torkell]

http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap2e1.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

this maze is a lot bigger than the Romero Challenge....

[Odin]

but it's more FUN that way!

West.

[Dev]

@BoggyB: Your map is wrong. So far from the entrance they've gone W, N, W, N, and they're now going W again.

<b>We traveled West and ended up reaching a door leading South. The hall continued Westward.
Uberbob leaned towards me and whispered, "Pretty sneaky, sis."
"Huhwhat?" I stammered.
"I dunno, it's just been a long time since I delivered a one-liner. Carry on."</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[Odin]

Open door.

[Fawriel]

At least TRY to defend yourself against the hyena! D=
Running through the door flailing your weapons around ( preferrably not at your own allies ) and screaming would be fine, too.

[Ae]

We could just forget about all this and townpipe back to the Isle of Darkness.

[White Rabbit]

No, I am sure the maze is very important indeed. :p

Sure, open door. ;|

[Torkell]

@BoggyB: Your map is wrong. So far from the entrance they've gone W, N, W, N, and they're now going W again.
Oops, I misread your post. *slaps self*
Map updated (you may need to force a refresh to get the correct one to appear).

http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap2f.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

>O! JUST OPEN THE DOOR!

[n00b]

HEY GUYS I CAN TELL DEV WHAT TO DO TEN TIMES TOO!
EXCEPT IT WONT MATTER BECAUSE HES NOT ONLINE!

[Dev]

I was Christmas shopping. =O And you wouldn't believe it, my friend Richard gave me a box for Christmas with "Box =D" on it just like the Manifest Density summon. And I was walking with it and some guy said, "It's the Box! Unheard of 40HP!" When did Uberbob become popular in the real world? D=

<b>We traveled South, arriving in yet another long hallway. I was starting to notice something of a pattern. We also ran around with our weapons flailing hoping to kill rabid hyena robots. <s>We were stupid and never learned our lessons.</s>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

[Ae]

It was probably Radium using his magic or something.

West

[n00b]

Haha, you should enter your local Hot Topic and demand they sell Uberbob stuff.

West sounds good.

[White Rabbit]

NO GO E! *wields whatever authority he has*

[Dev]

We need an Uberbob shirt that says, "Follow me to... ADVENTURE!" on the back. And Fooruman action figures with kung-foo action!

<b>We travelled West through the hallway, and soon happened to come upon a rabid hyena robot. He was lounging in a lawn chair in a Speedo and sunglasses.
"Oh, hey," he said coolly as he noticed our approach. "I'm Jim."
"Hey, we use to know an ice hydra named Jim!" said Uberbob.
"Hey, yeah?" Jim replied. "Wicked. Hey, I'm going to brutally slaughter you all now."
Jim was good to his word.
____________________________

'How is poking the snow supposed to save?' I thought as I retracted my spear. The gateway to the North was open, Fooruman was alive and fooish, and my feet were cold. I wondered how anyone could wear a Speedo in weather like this, then wondered why I was wondering that in the first place.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

[White Rabbit]

YOU FOOS! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T SUBMIT TO WHATEVER AUTHORITY I HAVE!

N, W, N, W, N, W, W.

[n00b]

YOU FOOS! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON'T SUBMIT TO WHATEVER AUTHORITY I HAVE!
Yeah, but at least it helps Cartographers.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

boo hiss

[Torkell]

http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap2g1.png

And I say we go N, W, W.

[Dev]

<s>Now someone needs to make profiles for every hyena listing features, interests, etc.</s>

@White Rabbit: You need another N at the front of that command. It takes two Ns from the save point to enter the Polar Dervish. I'll overlook it this time, but next time I'll make Fawriel walk into walls and stuff. :p

<b>We rushed through the gateway and into the large stone wall that we had never seen before yet still seemed to recognized. We made our way North, West, North, West, North, West, and West. Another hallway, another three ways out. Which way would we go? =O</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

EDIT: Radium tells me that he thinks this method of trial-and-error is depressing you. That said, I'll brighten your hopes a bit by telling you that the rabid hyena robots CAN be destroyed, but so far you don't have the means to do this. In other words, don't start asking me to show you inventory and spells, because you <i>can't fight them yet.</i>

[White Rabbit]

Aw, I was hoping the exit was right there. :(
Let's go N.

[cooba]

...I say go North.

[n00b]

I don't mind trial and error in something that is text-based.
But it seems to have not only depressed UF but turn into a creature that boos and hisses for little reason.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Three letters:

G U I

[UNKNOWNFILE]

OK, if Dev is never getting back, Radium should allow someone else to do it.

[Dev]

There's this thing called Christmas, you see, and during this time of the year people are often busy preparing for family gatherings and whatnot. I can't update as much as usual, but you'd be hard-pressed to find another temp DM that does update as much as me. Besides, Rad's sick, he can't help you now.

<b>We traveled North into another long hallway. On the other side of the wall I could hear maniacal binary laughter.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[White Rabbit]

S, W.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

I second WR.

And I don't second Dev.

[n00b]

OK, if Dev is never getting back, Radium should allow someone else to do it.
Beggars can't be choosey.
And theres way to many variables as to why Dev isn't on 24/7:
Time zones
Xmas Time
Real Life
Other games
Other places to DM where people like UF don't make a big deal over the game and having to wait.

I'm just going with what WR says, so far his moves lead us into less Hyenas.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

/me sticks a fork into n00b >)

[n00b]

What a waste of a good online fork.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Want another one? Cause that can be arranged.

[n00b]

Want another one? Cause that can be arranged.
You'd be wasting another fork. We have no health on this online forum and therefore you can't kill or harm me with your forks.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Forks rule you >Oing >O

Anyways follow WR's directions before I use the powers of the fork on you.

[n00b]

Forks rule you >Oing >O

Anyways follow WR's directions before I use the powers of the fork on you.
No, I don't live in a Forkmockracy.
And the world doesn't live in a Forkniverse.
And the universe doesn't answer to anything, so on all 3 counts forks do not rule me.

EDIT- And stop demanding Dev to do stuff WHEN HES NOT ONLINE.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

I don't love you anymore ;(

[Fawriel]

/me summons a CT to attack UF

/me sacrifices this page to her in exchange

[Dev]

<b>We headed back South, then West. A rabid hyena robot greeted us in a friendly manner.
"Hello, friends!" he said with a smile. "Are you enjoying the Polar Dervish?"
"Not that much," Uberbob replied. "I haven't gotten to kill anything yet."
"Oh, don't worry about that," the hyena replied, "there's about to plenty of killing. By the way, my name's Xander. I hope you don't mind me mauling you all."
We did mind, but he mauled us so quickly that we never got the chance to tell him that.
_________________________

'Saving is a scam,' I thought to myself. 'And plus, my feet are cold.'

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

>Oing hyena-type son of a >O

Anyways go north before I need to use my forking powers on you. ;D

[Dev]

<b>We traveled North through the gateway and came upon a very familiar-looking wall with an equally familiar door.
"By might of FOO!" Fooruman declared. "This door seems strangely familiar, like an episode of Happy Days that you know you've seen before, yet still can't recall how it ends."
"Yeah, I was thinking the same thing," Shuri added. "And why do I feel relunctant to enter?"
"It's just the thrill of adventure swelling in your gut and giving you infections!" Uberbob answered. "Cmon, gang! Follow me, to... CERTAINDEATH!"

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

North...again

[n00b]

Uf, couldn't you use multiple directions so we don't have to muck about with these room descriptions and skip to the hyenas?
N,W,N,E,N

[UNKNOWNFILE]

because it's always amusing to hear what Überbob has to say

[White Rabbit]

No, Uberbob is repetitive when it comes to maze games, and we are narrating as Fawriel. :|

And no, wait, don't do what n00b says. I have a plan which will be made up as we go along...now, if only Boggy's maps will load so I actually know where we're going! :D

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Good plan WR. If BoggyB is still alive, though. I saw that somebody stuck a fork in his forearm ;(

[White Rabbit]

Excuse me? :( UF, what's wrong?

[Dev]

UF is going through puberty. It's a time when hormones RAGE, thus causing people to want to fork things. It's perfectly normal, so don't worry about him. He'll fork himself out sooner or later, I'm sure.

@WR: You would need the agreement of at least one more person to stop n00b. And besides, UF posted first.

<b>We wandered North through the big stone wall and found ourselves in a long hallway.
"Insert witty phrase here," Uberbob said. We all glanced at each other, then took a few steps away from him. You just never know...</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[n00b]

Move W,N,E,N

[Odin]

Move E,S,W,S.

[Raven aka StL]

*forks the hell outta n00b*

E, N, E, N ,W

[n00b]

People can you stop forking, it's getting annoying.
It doesn't make you look 'cool' and it doesn't hurt my feelings.

[Dev]

AMEN n00b. I'm glad there's still some maturity left among the ToUers.

<b>Everyone started walking in various different directions. We seemed to be a poorly-organized group of idiots.
"Wait, the first voice said to go W, N, E, N!" I announced.
"Voice?" Araches inquired. She looked to Shuri, then Uberbob. There was a long silence. She then walked over to me, put her hand on my shoulder and said, "It's best to just ignore those. They're always wrong."
Even still, Uberbob was a firm believer in the power and absolute wisdom of the voices. We moved West, North, East, and North. We stood in a hallway beside a wall. The only way forward was West.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C__WS.png

[MSB3000]

Ask Uberbob what the voices are.

[Odin]

W.

And thanks n00b.

[Dev]

<b>"Uberbob, what are the voices?" I asked.
"They are helpful guardians who drop pearls of wisdom into my ear every time we come to a point where paths converge!" he replied. I was starting to fear that these "voices" had suddenly taken to dropping said pearls into <i>my</i> ear rather than Uberbob's.
We journeyed West, hopefully of our own free will. We came to another wall, where the only way forward was North.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNE__.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

UF is going through puberty. It's a time when hormones RAGE, thus causing people to want to fork things. It's perfectly normal, so don't worry about him. He'll fork himself out sooner or later, I'm sure.

go to heck

[Odin]

Go to heck. Failing that, go north.

[MSB3000]

*wields spoon*

North, I guess.

[Fawriel]

"True. I still demand a reason why this game isn't actually a program that runs in a command prompt."
Because it's NOT POSSIBLE?
What do you want, a library of 100 CD's and a supercomputer that are able to make something out of any kind of command given, make up witty one-liners and whatnot?

"It would be a whole lot spiffier, and I wouldn't need to take out forks and whip them at whiners like you."
..whiners.
...

[Blackraptor]

dude, stop complaining, stop forking people, and stop ruining fun for others. if you don't like how this game doesn't run in command prompt, or that Dev possibly has a life and isnt in front of the computer monitor every hour, then don't play.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Technically it's not a game as it resides in the War Tavern forum.

[Blackraptor]

Interactive Story, same thing. Just basically an RPG.

[Odin]

Look, man, I am not annoying! I just like to weild the supreme power of the fork which has been hailed by my ancestors for several years!

Were my interests not in keeping this thread on-topic, I would reply saying that this sort of thing is exactly why you should be banned from Tales of Uberbob, but since the case is otherwise, I won't.

[Dev]

<b>We headed North, entering another long hallway. I could hear binary laughter in the walls nearby.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Westward!

[Odin]

West.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Finally, something we all agree on!

[White Rabbit]

Being mapless and therefore totally lost (I relied too much on Boggy and decided not to memorise anything :(), I think I am forced against my will to concur.

[Torkell]

Sorry about the lack of a map folks, I haven't been at the right computer for a day or two (for that matter, I was out today and so only just got online). Only one of the two computers I use has the map file on it, and it's not this one. A map should appear later this morning.

Again, sorry. But I do have a Life, and it occasionally compels me to spend time away from the computer.

Oh, and one more thing:
*lifts poke-o-matic onto shoulder*
Would you stop it with the sodding forking! It's rather hard to do maps when some idiot is forking you!

>click< vruuuuuuum...

[Odin]

Oh joy!

[Torkell]

BTW, I am aware that the maps are not loading. The host is being prodded as I type:

BoggyB: what's up with the website?
-----: a wonderful question...and one i would love the answer for....

Edit: site appears to be back up now (12:21am GMT)

[UNKNOWNFILE]

I don't like knives, so I need to use the next best thing. (Knives scare me ;( )

[n00b]

What does it matter? If you were stabbing us with knives instead of forking us we'd all still tell you to shup.

And just to be a rebel, E.

[White Rabbit]

How about we go S, E, S, W, S, E, E, N, W? It makes more sense. I believe another hyena robot is waiting for us if we go W.

[n00b]

Theres still the east exit.

[Dev]

West is the most popular answer. Pageclaim for Jeff!

<b>We traveled Westward, and came to a door leading North. The hall continued on in both directions.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

[n00b]

Hmm, I think the east exit contained the Hyena in the last room we were in.

Continue westward.

[MSB3000]

UF, the next Xion.

(I'm not participating because I don't like these maze things, I'd rather just read what happens.)

[White Rabbit]

I also say west.

[Dev]

@n00b: You <i>came</i> from the East this time.

<b>Walking West, we came upon a rabid hyena robot gloomily typing away on a laptop. We watched silently, hoping he wouldn't notice us. As we carefully started to back away, he turned and snarled at us. Uberbob smiled and waved.
"Oh, I suppose you want to be my friend?" the hyena said dryly. "Sure, you think you do, but you don't know me. You don't know what a horrible person I am."
"I'm sure you're not so horrible," Uberbob said as the hyena tackled me and began devouring me, legs-first. "You're probably just misundersto-"
I didn't manage to catch the rest of what he said.
________________________

"We ought to raise the pie," said Uberbob as he watched me poke the snow.
"What pie?" I asked.
"You know, the pie."</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

[MSB3000]

Ask Uberbob to describe the "pie" in the most detailed way he can possibly conceive of with 101% of his brain.

[n00b]

@n00b: You <i>came</i> from the East this time.
I said in the last room we were in. The one where we had the options of W,S,E and had sounds of binary laughter.
I said that because we came from the south, and we were able to enter the west exit without being devoured. I assumed then that the laughter came from the east exit (and that the laughter only travels one room module).

N,N,W, N, E, N,W,N,E.

[Fawriel]

In fact, that one was supposed to be amusing. I'm amazed at how you managed to take it seriously.

[Radium]

Hey, kids! Back on topic! No more forks =D.

And this isn't a downloadable game because I don't like programming inventory systems. The last text-based game Risp and I tried making had this interesting glitch where you could place yourself in your inventory and be stuck forever.

[Risp_old]

And plus it would be hard to code an AI to analyze posts and try to figure out what people are saying.

[Radium]

And plus it would be hard to code an AI to analyze posts and try to figure out what people are saying.
Yeah, C'mon...

>Ask Uberbob what the voices are.
Uberbob says "The sound produced by the vocal organs of a vertebrate, especially a human", followed by a witty remark.
>go to heck
Heck is blocked

[Odin]

N,N,W, N, E, N,W,N,E. Yes, even the spaces.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

you imbecile, use spaces. spaces are always required after each comma. *forks*

[Blackraptor]

yeah,too bad we're all talking on an internet forum where you dont have to follow every grammar/spelling rule instead of writing out important english essays.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

just cause you got the 2000th post doesn't mean you get to own the thread, stupid

[Blackraptor]

and just cause everyone's telling you to stop forking and flaming people doesnt mean you have to be a REBEL and not do what they ask you to.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Break out the forks, fella's, your gonna need 'em.

[White Rabbit]

N, N, E, N, W. <--- that was where I originally wanted to go. :*(

[Torkell]

New map, folks. Hope it's correct.
http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap2h.png

I still think we should go N N W W.

[cooba]

[GpW] tells you to stop the god(-) forking.

And go NNWW.

[Dev]

I'm afraid we have confliction. Two people want N, N, W, N, E, N, W, N, E and two people want N, N, W, W. It comes back to first come first served.

<b>"Uberbob," I said, "describe the 'pie' in the most detailed way you can possibly conceive of with 101% of your brain."
"Pie is pie," Uberbob replied.
We then travelled North, North, West, North, East, North, West, North and East. We came to a door leading North. The sounds of binary laughter surrounded us on all sides. I was scared that some angsty rabid hyena robot would jump out and devour me feet-first. A rather specific fear, sure, but these things happen... probably.

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

[Radium]

Examine the wall next to the door. <s>Criticize wall's texture.</s>

[Dev]

<b>I examined the wall next to the door, and found that it was made of stone. In fact, I wasn't sure why Fooruman had not taken to licking it yet. The wall had a rough, grainy texture, and appeared quite solid and unpwnable. On the other side of the wall I could make out that strange laughter of 1's and 0's that seemed to be burned into my mind for all eternity.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

[Odin]

North.

And the next person to use the word "fork" in a matter that does not have to do with an action, event, or consequence of the ToU storyline or forum game will be reported to CT and FQuist. Seriously, it's not funny.

[n00b]

just cause you got the 2000th post doesn't mean you get to own the thread, stupid
Radium, who made this thread yold you to stop.
Please stop. Being a 'rebel' is just making everyone hate you.

Oh, and North.

[Dev]

<b>We traveled North into another hallway. The binary laughter became a bit louder as we entered.
"I don't like that laugh," Araches said nervously. "Anything that can produce a recognizable pattern of laughter by repeating two numbers over and over again can't be good."
"This reminds me of one of my previous EPIC QUESTS," Fooruman exclaimed. "Long, long ago, a group of wandering prophets and I became lost in a basement beneath the arcade on the Isle of Darkness. There were rabid cyborg creatures not unlike yet completely different from the rabid hyena robots that haunt this very place."
"That happened ealier today," Shuri pointed out. "We were there. Remember?"
Fooruman smiled with great frustration. "Sorry, my good man. I fear my memory isn't quite as it was when I was young."
"You mean you were once young?" Uberbob asked, very surprised.
"Well... young<i>er</i>," the archmage replied, stroking his beard. I wondered what he meant by that, but then again I couldn't picture Fooruman as ever having been younger than sixty. He had probably emerged from the womb with a beard and that same hat on his head, if it wasn't actually a <i>part</i> of his head.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[Odin]

<s>Y</s>East.

[n00b]

East sounds good.

[Ae]

..and try to swipe the hat from his head.

[Torkell]

http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap2i.png

[UNKNOWNFILE]

I say west because you suck.

[cooba]

I say west because you suck.You're the one to speak.

East.

[Raven aka StL]

East is good

[Dev]

<b>I tried to swipe the old man's hat. The moment it left his head he burst into a cloud of Foo Dust. The others all stared at me as I held the purple hat and watched the tiny particles of dust fall to the floor. 'Duely noted,' I thought to myself.
After Raising Fooruman, we all travelled East. A rabid hyena robot stood waiting for us down the hallway.
"I've been waiting for you down this hallway," it said.
"Do you have some unique and amusing personality?" Uberbob asked.
'Nah, I'm just some guy," it replied. "Some guy who's going to eat you."
You can guess the rest.
___________________________

<b>"I thought I told you to raise the pie!" Uberbob said after I poked the snow.
"What?" I replied. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. It's vague recollection, but still."
I sighed and said, "I'll see what I can do."

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

[Odin]

Look around.

[Torkell]

N N W W

[UNKNOWNFILE]

I told you not to go east!

[Odin]

N N W W

No. Don't move ANYWHERE. Remember when Dev said that there's a way to kill the RHRs? Maybe it's under this hypothetical pie, and Fawriel just didn't catch it yet. Look around.

[Fawriel]

Very unlikely.

[Odin]

Very unlikely.

But it could still happen.

[Dev]

Pageclaim for Fur Affinity being back up! *high-fives someone*

<b>I looked around. I was standing over a mound of snow with the words "save point" spelled out in yellow letters across its surface. I decided not to question the means by which they had been written, and moved on to looking at other stuff. A few feet away was the skeleton of a long-dead sorceress, still fully robed. Araches, for the first time ever, had claimed that taking off a female mage's clothes was a bad idea. To the North was an open gateway. Before the gateway were four platforms, each with a rune inscribed on its surface. To the South was the previous gateway we had activated earlier.
Realizing that there was no pie, metaphorical or otherwise, we all went North into the Polar Dervish maze. We traveled west twice from the entrance, and were immediately mauled to death by a rabid hyena robot.
Worst episode ever.
______________________________

"Forget about the pie," Uberbob said. "I'll raise it myself." I watched as Uberbob strained his tiny brain, trying to raise a pie which I could not perceive. He finally gave up and threw a snowball at Araches. She hurled a bolt of lightning back at him and caused the nose ring he had recently obtained to meld permanently to his nostrils. It looked painful.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

[cooba]

N, N, E, N, W, N, W, N, E, E.

[Torkell]

Well, I did wonder what was down that way. And now we know.

[Raven aka StL]

N N E N W N W N W N

[White Rabbit]

Well, I did wonder what was down that way. And now we know.
You have no intuition. ;P

N, N, E, N, W. <--- that was where I originally wanted to go and it's my turn to get someone killed now. :*(

Cooba and Emperor, you can't go further than N, N, E, N, W because the other areas are unexplored.

[Dev]

EDIT: My bad, hold on...

Sorry WR, I misread my own map. =b

<b>We traveled North, North, East, North, and West. We came to a doorway leading North.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

[White Rabbit]

You are so crossing the species boundary when naming hyenas 'White Rabbit'.

N, N, W, N, E, N, W, N, E, N.

[Dev]

WR's last command is canceled because it was posted in response to a mistake I made. See edited post.

[White Rabbit]

Yay? I didn't get to kill anybody after all.

N.

[cooba]

N, W, N, E, E if anything.

[Odin]

North.

[White Rabbit]

Erm..Cooba, again, you are wandering into unknown territory. :p

[cooba]

Erm..Cooba, again, you are wandering into unknown territory. :pActually I'm not.

http://img325.imageshack.us/img325/1619/toumap2i2je.png

[White Rabbit]

And what if they are not joined together? We don't know, even if we can go W...that's why the original map didn't have the two corridors joined together.

[cooba]

And what if they are not joined together?I doubt they wouldn't be.

[Torkell]

There's a simple test: W S E S S and see if we end up at the entrance.

[Lem_Gambino]

Open the door.

[Dev]

There's no handle, it's like a doorless door. You know... a square-shaped hole you can walk through.

[Lem_Gambino]

Oh. XP

Read sign. I don't care how tight the schedule is. READ THE FREAKING SIGN! Signs are your friend =D

THEN go north.

[Odin]

W, N, E, N, W, N, W, N.

[cooba]

...we are supposed NOT to go for hyenas.

[White Rabbit]

How did we get back to the start again?!

[Dev]

Notice to everybody: I completely and utterly botched this maze and forgot where we were. We are NOT back the begining. So far you've traveled North, North, East, North, and West. Now back to honoring WR's post like I meant to in the first place.

<b>We traveled North and into another hallway.</b>

I'm so sorry guys. =b Won't happen again

http://www.foxmage.com/C__WS.png

[White Rabbit]

W..

[Odin]

*waits for BoggyB to update his map*

[Dev]

<b>We traveled West, coming to a door leading North.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNE__.png

[White Rabbit]

N...W, N?

[Dev]

You want to go North, West, and North? Or just North?

[White Rabbit]

I think that we may have been here before, so attemp to go N, W, N.

[Dev]

<b>We attempted to go North, West and North. We entered a hallway where much binary laughage was taking place around us.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[White Rabbit]

.W.

[Odin]

W, E, S, T.

[Dev]

<b>We went West. The snow was so thick that I could barely see a thing, but here's what I heard: pap, pap, pap, "10101010101010101!" CLANK, FWAP, SHHHHREP, SPLURT, "AHHHHH!" CLANK, FWAP, SHHHHREP, SPLURT, "OH THE HUMANITY!" "1010101010101!" "FAWRIEL, THE PIE! RAISE... THE..." SPLAT!
_________________________

Uberbob waltzed over to me, looking very angry. He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could say a word I blurted out, "I raised the pie, darn it!"
"Oh," he said. "Nevermind."</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

[White Rabbit]

N, N, E, N, W, N, W, N, W, N, E.

[Dev]

<b>"I have an announcement to make!" Uberbob declared. "Our local healer Fawriel has succeeded in making the pie higher!"
There was a very awkward silence, intercepted only by the applause of Fooruman. I stared down at the ground, hoping they would all look away soon. Finally Uberbob clapped me on the back, knocked me into the snow, and led us all though the gateway. L33tz4n slithered to my side and helped me up, then the five of us followed after him.
We journeyed North, East, North, West, North, West, North, West, North, and East. We came to a doorway leading North. A doorless doorway. Basically just a square-shaped hole in the wall. In fact there was a bit of misletoe hanging from it, perhaps for a splash of holiday cheer. I smiled at the misletoe, but suddenly a blast of magical fire dissintegrated it. I turned and saw Araches blowing the smoke from her finger. "No excuses for you to kiss me," she said to Uberbob.
Uberbob snapped his finger. "Foiled again..."

http://www.foxmage.com/CN_W_.png

[White Rabbit]

N!!

[Radium]

Heal the misletoe D= Resurrect if necessary.

[Dev]

Pageclaim for being naughty.

<b>I Raised the misletoe. It seemed very happy.
We traveled North through the doorway, and came to another hall. I could hear hyena robots laughing on the other side of the wall, but this particular hallway was mostly quite.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[White Rabbit]

E..

[Odin]

E,A,S,T.

[Radium]

Only N, S, E, W, and D are valid compass directions in this game D=

[Dev]

@Rad: Don't shoot down their dreams of ever going Aest or Torth.

<b>We QUESTED East and came to a dead end. I noticed a large mound of snow nearby, and after reaching into it I found that it was actually concealing a ROCKET LAUNCHER. The weapon was a one-shot, kill-anything epitome of manliness, thus I decided to take it along.</b>

Wasn't that nice, you got an ultra-powerful weapon just in time for Christmas! =D And speaking of Christmas, there will be no updating on this thread tomorrow as I'll be away from any sort of working computer, and also because even Bob Cratchet got to take Christmas off, darn it. If you don't fill this place with spam while I'm gone I'll consider that your gift to me. Happy holidays, ToUers! :D

[UNKNOWNFILE]

Merry christmas, you sexy person you ;)

[White Rabbit]

Great...now we can kill any rabid hyena robot we come across, but only one, and we've no idea where to go or which one to kill. :(

I say we go W, S, E, E, N, W.

[Xobim]

<a href=http://www.astrolog.org/labyrnth/maze/hyper.gif>I hope for you that Dev hasn't seen this site!</a>

[White Rabbit]

I hope more that Radium hasn't. :p

[cooba]

It's Dev who made both mazes, though.

[Torkell]

New map (I'm beginning to regret volunteering, but someone's got to do it)
http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap2j.png
...I think it's all correct. WR, you may want to rethink your commands.

[White Rabbit]

Then W, S, W, S, E, E, N, N, E.

[n00b]

<a href=http://www.astrolog.org/labyrnth/maze/hyper.gif>I hope for you that Dev hasn't seen this site!</a>
Don't give him ideas!

[Radium]

It's Dev who made both mazes, though.But Radium that told him what type of maze to make.

*rightclicksaves cube of doom*

[Radium]

I tried asciiing Boggy's map, in case his site goes down again or someone else wants to modify it, but I don't know if ascii will continue to work (due to instances like ╦╞╩, presuming they both don't connect to the hyena).

░░░░░░╦╛░░░
░░░░╞╦╝░░░░
░░░░╞╩╦╡░░░
░░╦╞╩╦╩░░░░
░╞╩╦╦╚╗╞╦╡░
░░╞╩╩╦╩╦╝░░
░░░░╞╩╦╝░░░
░░░░░░║░░░░

Before anyone asks how to type that, just check Character Map.

[Torkell]

@WR: You have one N too many in that. Try W, S, W, S, E, E, N, E.

@Rad: Nice try with ASCIIing the map, although I'm seeing boxes instead of whatever spacing character you used. Plus the line spacing rather kills it.

FYI, the way I create the map is with Excel. Each cell is the size of one 'unit' in the maze, and the walls are just done by fiddling with the borders. I then Alt-PrintScreen it into mspaint, crop to fit just the map, save as bmp, convert to png and upload somewhere. Which is fine, if a little tedious. I'm happy to send the original spreadsheet to anyone who wants to play with it.

[Dev]

<b>With the new rocket launcher in hand, we traveled West, South, West, South, East, East, North and East. A rabid hyena robot jumped out at us, but deploying my lightning-fast healer reflexes I blasted it into shiney pieces with a shot from the rocket launcher. Directly behind where the hyena had been was a dead end.
"That was pathetic," said Uberbob as the smoke cleared.
"But... I killed it."
"Yeah, but you didn't even give a one-liner," he explained. "How can you blow something up without delivering a witty one-liner?" I shrugged, and suddenly he hugged me. "It's not your fault," he reassured me, "you just aren't very cool is all." He let me go and walked away, but not before stepping on my foot with his heavy mechanical leg. For the benefit of the doubt, I was going to assume it was an accident. At least we had been getting along somewhat ever since I punched him in the face that one time.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C__W_.png

[White Rabbit]

Welcome back, Dev.

W, W.

[Dev]

@WR: Thanks! :)

<b>We traveled West to the entrance to the next hall, then kept going West. We ran smack into another rabid hyena robot.
"Use the rocket launcher!" Uberbob commanded.
"It's out of ammo!" I cried desperately.
"Well... use magic!" he exclaimed. "Your most powerful spell! Now!"
I cast Raise on the rabid hyena robot. Nothing happened... well, besides us getting ripped to shreds by a rabid hyena robot.
________________________

"So when do I get to see the new and improved pie?" Uberbob asked as I finished poking the snow.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CN__S.png

[White Rabbit]

N, N, W, N, E, N, W, N, W, N, E, N, E.

[Dev]

<b>We quested N, N, W, N, E, N, W, N, W, N, E, N, and E. Lying in the snow at the dead end was a shiney new ROCKET LAUNCHER! Holding in my hands seemed somehow familiar, like I had been destined to own it. It rocked.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C__W_.png

[White Rabbit]

W, W, W.

[Dev]

@WR: That's one West too many, but okay.

<b>We all traveled back West, past the door leading South and into another dead end. I crashed into the wall because... well, it seemed like a good idea at the time. As I stumbled around I noticed that I was standing on top of a teleporter. The activation switch was on the side, and it seemed to be working just fine. I didn't know where the teleporter led to, but I assumed it was better than this hyena-filled nightmare.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_E__.png

[cooba]

Use the activation switch =D.

[Dev]

<b>I flipped the switch on the teleporter and watched as its surface began to glow a pretty shade of blue. "Ooo," I said. Araches and Shuri stared at me.
"Let's teleport!" Uberbob suggested. "Teleport to... ADVENTURE!"
"We don't even know where it leads," L33tz4n pointed out.
"Of course not," said Uberbob. "What fun would it be teleporting somewhere if we knew where we were going?"</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_E__.png

[cooba]

Teleport. Be ready to use the rocket launcher in case of anything.

[Blackraptor]

..teleport?


edit: cooba wins

[White Rabbit]

Have everyone stand on the teleporter.

[Dev]

<b>We stood on the teleporter and TELEPORTED! Our cells disintergrated, flew through time and space, then reassembled themselves on the surface of another teleporter.
We stood in another long stone hallway. There was a door leading North. Either we were still in the same maze, or some entirely different maze altogether. Either way, I felt cheated by whatever sick, twisted mind conceived this place to begin with.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

[White Rabbit]

N!!

[Torkell]

Map #1:
http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap2k.png

Map #2:
http://thomas.pleaseremoveyourfeet.com/jj2/toumap22a.png

[White Rabbit]

Boggy, you're being helpful. :) </not-sarcasm>
Should not the teleport be '?2' however? It shows that it goes to maze 2, and maze 2's teleport should be '?1' to show it goes back to maze 1.

EDIT: Ok, now both maps show '?1'... :p

[Torkell]

Boggy, you're being helpful. :) </not-sarcasm>
Should not the teleport be '?2' however? It shows that it goes to maze 2, and maze 2's teleport should be '?1' to show it goes back to maze 1.
Thanks WR.

BTW, it's "?1" to show that those two teleporters are linked. This assumes of course that the teleporters are matched pairs, and not part of a chain.

I can do a number or coloured background in the maps to show which part of the maze they represent.

[Dev]

<b>We traveled through the Northern doorway and into another hall leading West.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C__WS.png

[Odin]

<s></s>D.

[White Rabbit]

No, W.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

I say West!

Hi Dev, and wb from xmas :)

[Fawriel]

D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[White Rabbit]

*Ds Fawriel and Odin*

[UNKNOWNFILE]

there is no such direction as D

PAGECLAIM IN THE NAME OF FORKS

Also, pg 54 doesn't appear to be claimed, so I call it too.

[White Rabbit]

D is basically the Death direction. :p
There must also be a Teleport direction...Radium lied to us! He said there were only N, W, E, S and D!

[Radium]

"Teleport" is as much of a compass direction as "Open door".

[Odin]

D is for Dennis.

Duh.

[n00b]

there is no such direction as D
Seems like ye can't get ye flask. ;(

[UNKNOWNFILE]

I DEMAND AN IMMEDIATE APOLOGY ;(

[Dev]

You're all insane.

<b>"Let's go D," I suggested. There was a long, awkward silence.
"What have you been smoking?" Fooruman asked, stroking his beard.
"I... just thought we could go Dennis," I explained. Suddenly, I too wondered what I had been smoking.
"Let's try!" said Uberbob. "Follow me to... DENNIS!" Uberbob spun in a circle, dropped on the ground, then leapt back to his feet and jumped up and down repeatedly. He didn't seem to be making much progress.
"I don't think Dennis is a cardinal direction," L33tz4n said. "If anything it would have to exist in a fourth dimension, or perhaps at an axis of some sort, like the point where all universal paths converge."
"Don't tease Uberbob," Shuri told L33tz4n. "You might give him hope of finding Dennis, and that would really suck for the rest of us."
"I wasn't teasing..." L33tz4n sighed, but the rest of us were already heading West. We arrived at a door leading North, while the hall continued Westward.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CNEW_.png

[Odin]

OF COURSE! The dimensional rifts that connect all the Chick-Fil-A stands are connected by Dennis!

...North.

[White Rabbit]

nO, w! :o

[cooba]

W and blast hyena in the next corridor that leads south thx. :7No deciding the consequences to actions. My story. Not yours.
GOOD: Open the box.
BAD: Open the box and find a gun.Blast Emperor in the face thx.

[UNKNOWNFILE]

*sticks a fork in Empy's right eye*

Do that again, and you'll get one in your left eye.

[n00b]

*forks Cooba to critical condition*
(Now stay ON-TOPIC thx)
Follow your own advice.

Also play the game correctly by following the rules

[Dev]

Well... two people said West.... I think.

<b>We traveled West and came to a door leading South. The path continued Westward. I could hear faint binary laughter in the walls.</b>

http://www.foxmage.com/C_EWS.png

[White Rabbit]

S!!

[Dev]

<b>We then traveled South, and found a path leading West. On the other side of the Eastern wall, I could make out a distinct patern of 1's and 0's which could only be the laughter of some evil mechanical monster. </b>

http://www.foxmage.com/CN_W_.png

[White Rabbit]

W!!

[n00b]

West