I'm so useless at directions without a map. East is the bathroom, correct?
Go east into the bathroom.

South is the bathroom, East is the girls' bedroom. If you go in there you'll likely get set on fire and decapitated. D=

Wow I feel so dumb D=
South.

Someone should volunteer to make a map of EVERYTHING. Seriously, it would be nice.

I took a deep breath and walked into the bathroom. L33tz4n stood facing away as I entered. I couldn't begin to imagine what she was thinking at that point in time.
"Uh... L33tz4n?" I said uneasily. "I know you and I have been through a lot together but... Uberbob loves you. Or at least he likes you. Or... he thinks you're smart... the point is-"
I immediately fell silent when she turned around and shot me a look of fury. My ears fell lower and I took a step back. "Don't even talk to me about him!" she exclaimed. "I'm so sick of the way he treats me! 'L33tz4n, what's this? L33tz4n, summon the Water Elemental to do stuff.' Of course that's when he actually remembers my name, otherwise I'm just 'that blue thing.' And he w4nts me to be his girlfriend!" She walked closer (and I backed away). "His girlfriend, Fawriel! Does he really think I w4nt that after the way he treats me?"
"Actually... I kinda thought you did want that," I replied nervously.
"Not the point!" she retorted.
"L33tz4n, why did you bring me here?" I finally ventured to ask. Her expression changed dramatically from rage to contentment
"Oh... I guess I just needed to let off some steam to somebody," she replied. "It's been a while since I've gotten away from Uberbob, you kn0w."
"So you brought me in here... to rant about Uberbob?"
She nodded. "I didn't think the others would understand. They're not as sensitive as you are Fawriel. I knew you would listen to me."
"...L33tz4n, are you on your peri-?" I was cut short by a loud cough coming from a nearby stall. L33tz4n and I both started.
"Did you hear that?" she asked. "Someone's in h3re."

break into the stall and steal the person's wallet
ask l33tsan if she can actually speak japanese

"It's wallet-stealing time," I said aloud.
"What?!" exclaimed L33tz4n.
I quickly kicked open the door of the stall, and to my complete and utter shock I saw a familiar face! It was Plot Device the rabbit, the same guy we had left to die in Grandma Conqista's supermarket a few days ago, only now he looked to be dying in a completely different bathroom altogether. He sat on the toilet (though it's important to note that he wasn't "saving") and gasped for breath. He had several open wounds and bruises all over his face.
"What are you doing here?!" I asked. "I thought you died."
"You thought wrong, shaman," he replied weakly, though with an air of passion in his voice. "I made it out alive. A good Samaritan in a canoe came and healed my wounds, no thanks to you!"
"But I tried to heal you!" I argued. "Here!" I got up a healing aura around my palms and placed them over his wounds, but he pushed me away.
"Save your magic, shaman! You'll need it to get out of here alive!"
"I'm not a shaman!" I said angrily. "And you're the worst plot device ever! Come on, L33tz4n, we're leaving."
"But he said this place is dangerous!" she cried. "We need to escape!"
'Of course,' I thought to myself. 'These places where you can sleep for free always mean something bad is about to happen.'

Ask the rabbit what he means by "getting out of here alive."

Also ask him why his parents didn't name him something like "Incredibly Useful Buddy who'll be with you till the very end"

"What do you mean by 'getting out of here alive?'" I inquired to the badly injured rabbit.
"Don't you know?" he asked, even though I think he could have inferred that we didn't. "This place... it's no ordinary mansion, and those bird brothers are no ordinary rich English guys. I came here to ask Santa for a new shirt, since my old one got ripped a little in the attack on Upper Placespot, but little did I know what horrible fate awaited me. Oh man, if these walls could talk... they could tell you more than I could. I'm dying, you know."
"I'm not entirely sure these walls can't talk," I replied. "And you don't have to die you know. I am a healer."
"It's too late for me!" he said, dramatically tossing back his arms and looking to the sky. "Save yourselves! Let my vague and almost pointless warning keep you from making my mistake!" He paused, then added, "Whatever that mistake was!"
"Why didn't your parents name you something more like 'Incredibly Useful Buddy Who'll Be With You Till The Very End?'" I asked for some reason.
"I don't think that would fit on a birth certificate," he replied. I certainly couldn't argue with that.

N, get Leetsan to wake the girls and follow you, N, E, E, wake the boys, then tell them about Plot Device and ask Fooruman about the wall.

EDIT: Ok, NOW can we get the rocket launcher?

@WR: You can try. You know I'll never let it happen, though.

"L33tz4n, wake the girls," I told her. "I'll wake the boys."
The two of us rushed out of the bathroom and into the hallway. We attempted to open the doors to the bedrooms, but they seemed to have been locked.
"You didn't lock the door, did you?" I asked as L33tz4n struggled with the doorknob.
"No," she replied, "and I'll assume you d1dn't, either. I knew something was up with those bird brothers..."
We tried banging on the doors to wake everyone up, but no one was responding. I began to worry.
Suddenly I turned around as I heard voices on the other side of the Western wall. There was a large crack in the side of it, through which I could barely make out the chatter of two rich English guys. I put my ear to the crack and listened; L33tz4n did the same.
"I'm glad that's finally over," said the first voice. "Kudos for rigging the guest bedrooms with electronic locks and poison gas, Lance. You were really thinking ahead."
"Oh come now, Talon," the second voice replied. "I just thought to myself, 'what would Lord Blackraptor do?'"
"He'll certainly be very happy with us," said Lance. "Our previous failures will seem as nothing once we deliver the news. In fact, humor me dear brother; please reitterate our previous attempts on the life of Uberbob for no real reason whatsoever."
"Oh of course, brother, I was just about to suggest the same. Well, there was the giant snowball of course. It would have worked if that blasted healer hadn't been with him... and also there was the firewall and garden of poisoned herbs on the Isle of Darkness. Those were truely wasted effort."
"I was so sure he'd take the poisoned herbs if we hid them behind something dangerous," said Lance. "What a pity he has semi-competant mages assisting him. If only those Compass Roses weren't immune to magic, we could have taken him out..."
"He was getting far too close to finding Dennis," said Talon. "A door with no handle is hardly an obstacle for someone who knows where Dennis is. The Dreadlord will be most appreciative, I'm certain."
"Did you hear th4t?" L33tz4n whispered.
"Did you hear that?" Lance said. "Who's there?!"
"Um, we were just leaving!" I said to the wall as I grabbed Leetz4n and ran for the stairway. A giant stone wall with a fiery mask slid out of nowhere and blocked off the exit. I was starting to feel pnwed already.
"Enemies of Blackraptor!" Talon cried. "You will be elliminated for threatening our ideals!"
"N-no!" I shouted. "I'm just a minor threat! Pay no mind!"
"Too little too late, green weasel guy! It's pwning time!"

Now wait for Rad to come, plz.

...my calculations about battles almost worked =D.

Destroy boy's room door using whatever possible.

No they didn't, Cooba. You were a page off.

Also, this is the first time I'm not using a tiled background image. Let me know if it's messing up in any browsers.


Birdclaw Brothers have the initiative
[Summon Ice Serpent] Talon flaps his wing down and a shower of water falls from the sky, and flaps it again and the water freezes mid-fall into an ice serpent!
the Ice Serpent lunges and bites L33tz4n (2 damage)
Lance spells his initials out in bulletholes on the wall. (4 damage)
Talon fires once at the wall, whirls, and fires again. (4 damage)

NO ONE DO ANYTHING

STRATEGY THREAD PLZTHX

Reminder: read the first page if you forget how to do this.


Summon stats, for all who want them:

Water Elemental
Move: 2
Attack: 5
Health: 8

Enchantresphere
Move: 2
Attack: 4
Health: 9
Immune to magic

Mythslayer
Move: 3
Attack: 4
Health: 11
Spells: Slay - reduce enemy health by one third of whatever it currently is

Arabian War Accupuncturist
Move: 4
Attack: -6
Health: 8
Spells: Needletime - reduces (raises?) AWA's attack to -2, but attacking only takes one movement point.

And when he said only takes one movement point, he means you can attack multiple times a turn, as long as you still have movement points.

Also, walls are immune to magic.

Faw: Defend
Leetzan: NW, NE, Summon E. Sphere N of Ice Serpent

Originally Posted by White Rabbit

Guys, don't be silly...
I say we go back and kill ourselves in the maze, then get the rocket launcher, take the right path to the house, and blast the doors open.

Originally Posted by Fawriel

Eh. IF it's a trap and it kills us, we can still do that.

You were all wrong! You thought I was crazy! No one believed me! NOW who's crazy?!?!?!?!?!?!? MUWAHHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!

Originally Posted by White Rabbit

You were all wrong! You thought I was crazy! No one believed me! NOW who's crazy?!?!?!?!?!?!? MUWAHHAHAHAAHAHAH!!!!

Don't you remember what happened in the Romero Challenge? You got through with both shotgun shells intact, and so two zombies just happened to attack as you left.

Something tells me a hyena would have been waiting at the exit if you had gotten the rocket launcher.

EDIT: And to Faw's post I'd like to add that the E.Sphere should attack the Ice Serpant.

..I don't see how destroying their door would help us in the battle.

Edit: I feel I should also add that the First Aid Kit is not technically magic. It should work on walls and Enchantrespheres. I can add that to its description later.


Fawriel defends
[Summon Enchantresphere] L33tz4n summons a fully grown Enchantresphere from wherever it is they come from
the Enchantresphere shocks the Ice Serpent with a pulse of magic lightning (4 damage)
[Summon Mythslayer] Lance raises his wings and a mythslayer is called from HORRORNOVELLAND.
the Mythslayer slashes L33tz4n (8 damage)
L33tz4n dies
the Ice Serpent lunges and bites Fawriel (1 damage)
Lance spells his initials out in bulletholes on the wall. (4 damage)
Talon fires once at the wall, whirls, and fires again. (4 damage)

Faw: Raise on Leetsan.
Everyone: Attack the Mythslayer.

[Raise] Fawriel raises his hands and L33tz4n is raised from the dead in a cheesy pillar of light
L33tz4n whips the Mythslayer thrice (3 damage)
Fawriel pokes the Mythslayer with his crooked spear of JUSTICE (4 damage)
the Enchantresphere shocks the Mythslayer with a pulse of magic lightning (4 damage)
the Mythslayer dies
[Frostbite] The Ice Serpent sinks its fangs into Fawriel's skin, releasing its icy venom.
the Ice Serpent lunges and bites Fawriel (4 damage)
Talon fires once at the wall, whirls, and fires again. (4 damage)
Lance spells his initials out in bulletholes on the wall. (4 damage)
Fawriel feels sick

Leetsan: Summon Water Elemental E of Ice Serpent.
Enchantresphere, Faw and Water Elemental: Attack Ice Serpent.
Leetsan: W, SW, attack Ice Serpent.

I say call for reinforcements.

Originally Posted by White Rabbit

Leetsan: Summon Water Elemental E of Ice Serpent.
Enchantresphere, Faw and Water Elemental: Attack Ice Serpent.
Leetsan: W, SW, attack Ice Serpent.

The Ice Serpent attacked and cast a spell, so it will take double damage. Faw and the Enchantresphere could kill it alone.

Originally Posted by UNKNOWNFILE

I say call for reinforcements.

Reinforcements N, NW, fire Justice Rocket Backpack Rocket Rocket

Please do THIS instead.
L33tz4n: Summon WE to the space to her left. Defend.
Faw and E. Sphere: Attack Ice Serpent.
WE: Defend.

Leetsan: Summon Accupuncturist W of Ice Serpent.
Faw: Attack Ice Serpent.
Enchantresphere: SE, attack Ice Serpent.
Leetsan: W, SW, S.
Accupuncturist: Attack Leetsan.

I claim page 61 for 20061.

WR, check the strategy thread.

EDIT: I support WR's move.

You mean L33tz4n: W, SW, SE? Otherwise isn't she attacking the AWA?

Ok, or just have her go W, then S.

Question Rad: Since the First Aid Kit works by melee range, does that mean Faw can't use it on himself?

Ah, but you CAN pass the kit on to someone else, right? ;p
...does then that count as a spell, an attack or a move?

@Dev: Oh, sorry, that does need clarification. No, he can.
@WR: A spell. I'll let you switch it to L33tz4n before next battle do-over you REALLY want );


[Summon Arabian War Acupuncturist] L33tz4n takes out a handful of needles and holds them up. A sandstorm whips through the air, and when it clears an Arabian War Accupuncturist stands in front of her. He respectfully takes the needles and leaps into position
Fawriel pokes the Ice Serpent with his crooked spear of JUSTICE (8 damage)
the Enchantresphere shocks the Ice Serpent with a pulse of magic lightning (8 damage)
the Ice Serpent dies
the Accupuncturist stabs L33tz4n (-12 damage)
[Summon Danger Muffin] Talon focuses for a moment, and then whistles. From the shadows, an avenger emerges... an avenger named Danger Muffin, feared by all do-gooders everywhere!
Talon fires once at the wall, whirls, and fires again. (4 damage)
Lance spells his initials out in bulletholes on the wall. (4 damage)
the wall collapses
Danger Muffin defends
Fawriel feels sick

Leetsan: on Talon. Defend.
AWA: N, NE, attack Faw.
Enchantresphere and Faw: Attack Talon.

I keep reading Leetzan as "lesbian."

And do what WR said.

I third Odin's decision