Deleted out of sheer embarassment. Sorry :P

Firstly I disagree, does not suck. And here are tips that could make you feel samely:

These are about formatting.
1, why did you start paragraphs with ----? Ok i see whym because forums don't have tabs working. But anyway
2, between paragraphs it's easiest to read line breaks as replacement for tabs. such as this:

"Blah blah because tabs dont work i started with new line and no tab"

"ya i just did that too and put two line breaks between this and last paragraph"
"sweet now i know common formatting for online storytelling"

"k thx i hope we r right about this!"


You did that sometimes but not all the time, anyyway that is just what i tihing.k.
So about what happens, im confused how these characters met, what allowed them to coexist? Lots of story elements that have yet to align themselves into commonalities of the tale.

Thanks for the tips, and I have been planning on going back to this story for a while now, but I've had basically no motivation, and not enough free time to write something like this.
But, your post has reminded me of this Story, and now that I have some free time, I am going to start editing it once I've posted this. Thanks for the reminder. And the Motivation.

EDIT: Keep an eye on this post for updates.
EDIT 2: Like I said earlier in this post, I haven't had too much free time to write this story, but I think I should be able to make some progress soon.