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The Last Patriot

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Apr 5, 2001, 01:59 PM
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A rabbit sat down on the ground with his hands in his hair.

Green fur, white feet. Cool black trench-coat with a pair of shades hanging a little out of the pocket. He was wearing a pair of old army boots and there was a large cut in the black dusty jeans. Underneath the coat he was wearing a t-shirt that readed the lines 'The future stops here'.

He got up and tapped the dust from the jeans. He stood in a sealed off room.

There where no walls or doors in that room. The white walls, floor and roof where made of thin but very hard glass and lamps where behind the windows to bring light into the room.

Rabbit in Black: "Computer, dim the lights to level 2".

The lights was now near fainting and the rabbit closed his eyes.

Within moments he was in deep concentration. "Computer, lights to maximum level". The computer gave a warning but the rabbit ignored it by not answering and he put his shades on. The room got incredebly bright and it hurted the rabbits eyes and face.

Rabbit in Black: "Computer, take the walls away".

The room dissapeard and the rabbit was standing in the middle of a battlefield.

Creatures the looked like the mixture of a wasp and a bird called Garns tried to escape but it was already to late. The light instantly penetrated trough their thin skin and fried them instantly.

The rabbit saw the fried corpses of the Garns and smiled.

" You definatly made my day".





WAR OF AGES - A RABBITS DIARY



It all started 100 years before today, a turtle-proffesor named Dekon created a new weapon of destruction. The Skr-1200 an advanced version of the earlyer created Skr-22 workdroid was created.

He gave this droid the abbility to attack rabbits when they come on a turtles territoy. But something went horribly wrong.

after a few months this droid created its own killer instinct and its started to act as a hunter. the turtles that had bought these droids where mostly to be found next to their body's. The droids werent under control by rabbits anymore and they attacked every rabbit or turtle they layed eyes on.

They even killed in the neutral zone something that was illigal according to article number 2-340 of the offical book of rules and rights.

So the rabbits had started to create their own robot.

The gave it an organic brain so it had the ability to learn continuesly and gave it an organic heart. This is where the cyborg rabbits are born.

They listened to their rabbit masters but also took orders from turtles.

These rabbit-cyborgs and turtle droid destroyed their masters and 99% of the population of the carrotus solar-system but they didnt keep in mind that they needed maintainace. after a couple of months all of the droids and cyborgs got a malfunction and went offline, a robots final death
...







End of part 1





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JJ BBoy KS

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Apr 5, 2001, 03:48 PM
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Quote:

On 2001-04-05 16:59, The Last Patriot wrote:

The room got incredebly bright and it hurted the rabbits eyes and face.




HAHAHA! It "hurted"??? Interesting story though. Continue!
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Ducky

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Apr 5, 2001, 05:00 PM
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Weird, Slayie. Nice though, very

More?

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Apr 5, 2001, 05:47 PM
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Continue!

Continue!

Continue!

Continue!

Continue!

Continue!

Continue!

Continue!

Continue!

Continue!
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Apr 5, 2001, 06:28 PM
Um. Yes.
The Last Patriot

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Apr 20, 2001, 02:37 PM
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The rabbits that managed to get away in time traveled trough space looking for a planet. They found one after traveling and searching for many years.

The planet was only habitat by a few small insects, thats what they thought at least. a few rabbits were send out on a scouting mission.. only one of them came back, but a little bit later he died from his wounds.

He was able to warn them about 'Others' he had seen.

Amongst the group of people were two Rabbits named Louie and Jazz.

They were unseperatable since the beggining of their elementary school.

Jazz and Louie were both interested in what there was other then this cave and the lake next to it.



***



Louie walked bare-feeted over the muddy bank of the lake and stared into the water as if he was dreaming.

His trenchcoat was waving in the wind as he was walking over the riverbank.

His hand dissapear into the pocket of his long black trenchcoat and out came a package of cigarrets that he had blended himself back on carrotus in the fields of his neighbours were he and his classmates used to hang out.

He coughed a little and felt a sharp pain in his chest.

His strong hand crushed the little package and he threw it in the water.

Louie saved the lighter, as a memorial to the planet he once habited.

It seems like months ago.. it were months ago, time was the only thing that didnt stood still on this planet.

After the last expedition the people were scared to come out of the cave, the only persons to come out of the cave once in a while where him and Jazz.

He scratched his chin and sat down in the sand as he stared over the water.



***



Jazz sat a little higher, on his favorite spot, the top of the hill where the cave was in. This is a great place for him to think and draw, something he loved to do when there was no action for him. Jazz followed some art classes back on Carrotus but most of the time he spend in the Carrotus army.

He was the only one that had been smart enough to bring along some weapons.

He proudly held his two long shotguns and an army knife in a locker in his room.

Jazz was drawing the dry fields behind the hill and liked Louie he sort of stared a little into the distance, this brought him out of concentration and he stopped drawing to walk down the hill in the direction of the lake.



***



Jazz sat down next to Louie who noticed him.

Louie: "Have a seat".

Jazz: "Dreaming"?

Louie hold silent for a moment and then nodded. "Yeah, about life back on Carrotus". and he took some sent in his hand and gently let it slip trough his fingers.

Jazz: "I've been doing that allot to, wonder what happend to them".

Louie: "Their all dead".

Jazz: "You should never think like.....".

Louie: "Im absolutly possitive about it". He stood up and ran into the water.

Jazz shouted: "LOUIE!!"

Louie was letting out some build up tension and he kept on hitting the water surface with his fist and let out a few screams of anger.

Jazz: "Come on Louie, get out of the water". Then he walked into the water to and suddenly he felt something against his leg.

Louie had calmed down and noticed the expression on the face of Jazz.

Louie: "What?"

Jazz: "Something just brushed up against my leg".

Louie: "Your sure, im standing all the way here..so it wasnt me".

Jazz dived under the water and looked around.

Louie looked puzzled: "Oh well, what the heck" And he walked out of the water.

The eyes of Jazz opened with amazement, he got up and yelled at Louie: "I FOUND ANOTHER LIFEFORM".


JJ BBoy KS

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Apr 23, 2001, 11:13 AM
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Wow!



Continue quickly. I don't wanna wait!
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Kovu aka Alec

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Apr 23, 2001, 05:59 PM
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Veeerry coolish

Continue
The Last Patriot

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Apr 24, 2001, 01:02 PM
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I'm sorry for the difficulties guys but i give this story a new name since it isnt a war that takes ages.



so from now on this story is called



Louie and Jazz: Post-Eden




The Last Patriot

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Apr 24, 2001, 01:12 PM
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Well this is where all the trouble started, now that i look back on it i wish we wouldve made another desicion and just stayed in the cave.

Oh well it happend anyway and there's nothing i can do about it, me and Jazz walked back in the cave to tell the news.

The people were scared, we tried to calm them down and told them we would go out and make a little trip. They tried to talk us out of this but we had made our desicion, we were going




***



Louie and Jazz walked over the hills and expected to see a world totally different to them, what they see was better then what they ever could have imagined.

While the place where the cave was in was hot and sandy, this side of the hill was full of strange trees and plants, a fresh stream of water found its way trough rocks and vines. This was beautyfull.



Louie: "We should go tell the others, i dont think the food supplies will last to long." He wanted to turn around and run back over the hill but when he got there the whole area had addapted to the forest they where in now.

Jazz: "Oh my god, what happend".

Louie: "Theyre gone...the last survivors of Carrotus".

The eyes of Jazz started to get all wet, a tear appeard in the corner of his eye and it rolled gently down his cheek and fell to the ground under him.

The ground cracked open right where the tear landed and a woman came out of it. She looked up at Jazz and Louie and spoke: "Who are you to disturb my balance"?

Jazz: "Who are you"?

Woman: "I am nature, i am everything that you see around you, the trees, the water...."

Louie: "Where is the life that belongs in nature? Where are the birds, the people"?

Nature: "I wanted to create a perfect world, a world without wars and sickness, but you came along to ruin my plan".

Jazz: "It wasnt our intention to scare you miss Nature, we crashed on this planet, our ship is a total wreck".

Nature started to cry, where here tears landed a black rose popped out of the ground. "It is already to late, monsters came to my planet, they are created trough the evil mind of my brother Mercurion, they came here to bring me to silence, this little forest is all i have left of my big planet, i cant find them alone, i am old and weak and im afraid i might die soon. If i die and those monsters are still here they will take over this forest and reveal the secret of the gem of thoughts.

Louie: "The gem of thoughts? Tell us more".

Nature: "The gem of thoughts has the power to create world just by dreaming of them, If it falls into Mercurions hands he will create thousands of worlds and make millions of people to his slaves".

Louie: "I see why your worried, do you know where we can find this Mercurion".

Jazz: "Louie you dont want to..."

Louie: "..Do whats right?"

Jazz nodded: "Yeah, lets do whats right besides, we got nothing to lose huh? We lost everything we had already".

Nature: "Ill give you something back in return, whatever you wish".



***



We agreed and we left for the journey..
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Apr 25, 2001, 01:26 PM
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Wowie, Slayie!!
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Apr 26, 2001, 06:18 AM
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Go Slay! Brilliant Do continue..

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JelZe GoldRabbit

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Apr 26, 2001, 07:34 AM
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ehe, normally i don't read stories anymore, but in this case i'll make an exception
Old Apr 26, 2001, 12:06 PM
ElectroPiZZa
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The Last Patriot

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Apr 26, 2001, 12:50 PM
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Thats really..errr thoughtfull electropizza.

Thanks to everyone that reads the story, the mainline of this story is finished (its the first time i actually think before i start to write



so its all cool, if you like the characters Louie and Jazz at the end of the story, i will write a series of Louie and Jazz storys (i already thought about a few plots)



Tell me what you like about the characters, storyline etc. and i will keep that in,

tell me what you dont like about the characters and i will try to improve that if i can.





thank you,

Slayer



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The Last Patriot

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Apr 29, 2001, 03:16 PM
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It was a long walk, the forest seemed endless.

We walked for hours when we decided it was time for a little rest.




Louie: "This darn forest is huge man". He lay down in the soft grass off the forest and looked at the treetops high above him. Jazz sat down against a hard rock and snapped a piece of grass that he put in the corner of his mouth.

Jazz: "Im having the strange feeling that we are beeing watched".

Louie: "Im having the strange feeling that the head is rising a little to your head".

Jazz: "Shhh, whats that sound"?

Louie and jazz hold silent for a moment and could hear a muffled 'help' coming from the rock, when they further examined it they could see that the rock was as big as a rabbits body and it had almost the same shape.

Jazz tapped on the rock: "Are you alright".

The rabbit in the rock answered with: "I could be better, can you get me out of here"? Louie and Jazz kicked at the rock.

Louie: "How do we open this thing"?

Rabbit: "See, that rope around the tree? Tie it around the rock".

The rock started to shake and it faded away, the rabbit fell to the floor.

Rabbit: "I am ok, my name is Jelze i come from Diamondus, i ended up here after a time traveling experiment, i tried to move myself trough time but i ended up in beeing a solid object, i went trough a wormhole of some sort and it brought me here".

Jazz: "And why the rope"?

Jelze: "Thats easy, i tied it around a tree, it was supposed to get me back if the experiment failed, seems like it did huh"?

Louie raised his shoulders: "To bad dude, we could use a time machine thingy ourselves".

Jazz: "This might come as a shock to you Jelze..but...".

Jelze: "Go ahead, i've seen everything, ive been anywhere, nothing comes as a shock to me. hah".

Jazz: "Diamondus is destroyed".

Jelze fainted and fell to the floor. Louie: "I wish he'd stop doing that".







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JJ BBoy KS

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Apr 30, 2001, 11:38 AM
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Lol, cool story, continue!
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May 5, 2001, 05:29 PM
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w00!! *applauses*

continue slayie! ^-^
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May 5, 2001, 07:37 PM
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YaY!
`~Shattered_Halo~`

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May 5, 2001, 07:40 PM
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*claps and throws money towards the patroit*

This is an AWESOME STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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May 5, 2001, 08:14 PM
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Encore! Encore! Uh, I mean Continue! Continue!



Encore comes after the storie, doesn't it?
`~Shattered_Halo~`

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May 5, 2001, 08:18 PM
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It can, depends on what you want it to mean, I've said that before after a chapter, it means, go oh, or 'More'
The Last Patriot

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May 7, 2001, 11:04 AM
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We we're continueing our journey deeper into the forest, we talked to Jelze about what had happend the last couple of days and brought him up to date.

He got mad and wouldnt believe it, we told him we would go back to diamondus sometime in the near future and show him it really wasnt there anymore.



***



Jelze: "I mean, rabbits arent that dumb".

Slayer: "But those darn turtles sure are".

Jazz looked around him, looking for any signs of possible danger.

Jazz: "Somethings not right here, everything is to quiet, like it doesnt have a soul, back on Carrotus i could feel the forests breathing, i could hear the wind blow, whats wrong with Nature"?

Slayer: "Probably more then what she has been telling us, but who cares, she gives us a planet so dont be to hard on her".

The three of them walked on while a pair of sneaky eyes followed them on their way trough the forest.



***



Slayer: "Another hill, i wonder whats behind that one".

Jelze: "Ill go take a look".

Jazz: "Lets all go take a look, if one of us go he wont be back to the tell the other one anyway".

They walked over the hill and they enterd a snowing landscape, death trees, snow everywhere and it was extreamly cold here.

Jelze: "Darn i wish i was prepared for such a sudden change, im freezin here".



***



The lonelyness of this 'ice-zone' was driving us crazy, this zone also seemed endless but it was much worse, we had to melt ice by holding it in our hands or wrapping it in our coats, it took a while and we got more and more thirsty.

There was no food, if this was gonna last a little longer we had to start eating ourselves, no hope..its driving me insane.



***



Jelze: "Im feeling sick, i think i have to throw up".

Jazz: "I think we are close to the other zone".

Slayer: "You have been saying that for three days already, its time we get there for real, im very hungry to".

In the near distance they saw something moving.

Jazz shouted: "THERE, FOOD!!!!!"

Jelze and Jazz started running for the unfamiliar thing.

Slayer: "Errr guys, it looks big and hairy". But they didnt hear him so he ran after them. "YO, STAY AWAY FROM HIM".

What Jelze and Jazz saw was terible, a huge hairy creature with sharp fangs and claws looked at them with his deep black eyes.

It made a noise and he came walking in their direction.
JelZe GoldRabbit

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May 9, 2001, 12:08 PM
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I should have known you wouldn't forget about me, Slay Continue!
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May 9, 2001, 01:21 PM
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Niftular, continue (!)



Ummmmm. . . what was I gonna say? Oh yeah, c'n I join? If you wan't profiles mine's in Kiku's thread. Use the latest one, pleez. . .



More!!!!!!!!!
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May 10, 2001, 06:07 AM
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JelZe is in it! Hooray.

Do continue, Slayie

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The Last Patriot

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May 16, 2001, 12:56 PM
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The monster doomed up in front of them, it carried a terrible smell with him.

He raised his claw and aimed for Jazz.

Jelze: "Jazz look out, its got his mind set on you".

Jazz dodged to the left and the slow but strong monster hit Jelze instead.

Slayer ran over to Jelze and saw that his cheeck was covered in blood.

Slayer: "That was a close one, we can be glad enough he still breaths".

Jazz was the monsters centerpoint of attention, he jumped, dodged and ran to stay out of it's hands.

Slayer tried to wake Jelze up, but it was a little harder then he thought.

Slayer: "Come on man, Jazz could need our help here".

Then he heard a sound that almost made his heart stop.

The ground shook a little and he could hear heavy breathing.

Another monster appeard in front of him, even bigger then the other one.

Slayer: "Oh no, another one of those smelly apes, wake up Jelze this guy is after us". Said Slayer with a nervous voice.

He threw Jelze over his shoulder and started running.

The monster wanted to crush them with his bare foot when Jelze woke up.

Jelze: "HOLY COW". He jumped off of slayers shoulder and rolled over the ground, Slayer jumped to the other side and the monsters foot barely missed them. the monster looked at the two rabbits and let out a gurgling sound.

He reached his hand out to grab them.

Jelze and Slayer noticed and they dived for the ground causing the monsters to slap his hands togheter very hard.

The monster let out a loud cry, this track the other monsters attention.

Jazz fell to his knees and gasped for breath.

The monsters started to let out strange cries.

Slayer: "They must be communicating, this could be interesting".

Jazz: "Oh man i wish i had a videocamera with me".

Suddenly one of the monsters stamped on the ground and screamed.

Jelze: "Ok, i dont know what he's doin but i dont like it a bit".

Then it felt like their hearts stopped beating, when they looked behind them they saw five of those huge monsters.

The eyes of the other two had lit up.

Jazz: "Theyre Telepatic (sp?)".

Slayer: "You're kidding? RUN!!!!" Slayer, Jazz and Jelze started to run, hoping to find some secure place.

Jelze: "There a hill!"

They could see the shadows of the monsters legs falling over them.

Slayer: "Darn, they catched up with us".

With last breath they had, they jumped over the hill.



***



We arrived at the other side of the hill not knowing what to expect next.

We didnt know where we had end up this time, the zone was very similiar to the one we had landed on when we first came to this planet.

Only it felt like the trees and plants were alive here, it felt so much better.



Jazz, Slayer and Jelze looked around them at this beautyfull landscape.

Jelze: "This is so much better then that ice-zone we we're before".

They looked around, trees full of fruit, rivers full of fish and the birds where flying trough the beautyfull trees, paradise compared to the zones they had walked trough before.

Jelze: "Cool, this place has its own paradise".

Jazz: "Somethings not right here though, i dont trust that Natura".

Slayer: "Yeah, its all cool here, far away from her".

A strange sound came out of the bushes behind them, when they looked behind them they could see someone running away.

Jelze: "GET HIM".

Slayer: "Hey, who said you where the leader here"?

While Slayer and Jelze where discussing this Jelze crawled trough the bushes, the person in the bushes hadnt noticed him and Jelze catched him, a moment later he came out of the bushes carrying a strange creature,

light-purple skin color and his eyes closed, there was indeed life on this planet.


Coppertop

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May 17, 2001, 03:00 PM
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Kewl, this story rules
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May 17, 2001, 05:53 PM
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*beams*

Whee. Brilliant

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May 18, 2001, 07:10 PM
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What she said.
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May 20, 2001, 03:34 AM
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Why dont you write a book on this?
The Last Patriot

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May 20, 2001, 08:08 AM
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i wrote most of this parts very quickly so im not very proud of this.

But ill start on a new story soon and i will pay a little more attention to it
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May 20, 2001, 01:10 PM
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*suspicious* What do you mean by that? You're not. . .continuing?
The Last Patriot

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May 21, 2001, 07:48 AM
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Ofcourse i am continueing,

coppertop, i dont have any space for someone else in this story, but be looking forward to be in my next story



Slayer: The Kain saga wich will be starting today after this ones finished.
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May 21, 2001, 12:11 PM
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After a while the creature opened its eyes, and looked around with a scared look in his eyes.

Slayer: "Come on little creature, dont be afraid of us, we arent going to hurt you". Slayer reached out his hand to pet the little creature, but it closed his eyes and Slayer gave a yell and pulled his hand back.

"That little guy is under high voltage".

Jelze frowned an eyebrow and looked at the little guy. "Thanks Slay, at least we know that we shouldnt be scaring it". And Slayer gave him a sarcastic smile.

Jazz: "There he goes again!!!!" Jazz jumped over the bushes to follow it.

Jelze: "Oh brother, does this running never stop?"

Slayer and Jelze ran after him, the ran trough the bushes, branches slapped in their faces and torns of bushes cut their way trough their flesh.

They felt that they couldnt go on much longer, then they reached a cliff.

Jazz: "Phew, the hunt is over, he is trapped".

The little man looked down and then back at them, he made an innocent silent sound.

Slayer: "Come on little guy, you cant go anywhere and we wont hurt you".

The little man didnt say anything .. he turned around and stared down, then he jumped.

Jelze: "Oh my god..why did he do that"?

Jazz stepped to the edge of the cliff and looked down in the valley, what he saw was incredible.

Jazz: "Check this out guys".

down in the valley lay a city carved out of diamonds, not a single house was the same they all had its special beauty, made out of pure white crystal that reflected the light of the sun, the beams of light seemed to bend, and they all floated to one place, the center of this valley, where a huge and beautyfull fortress lay, made out of all kinds of different colors of crystal. They discovered a staircase cut out of diamond to placed against the cliff.

Slayer: "The little man must have jumped on here".

He was the first to walk down the stairs, soon followed by his two friends.

Jelze: "Look at how quiet and peacefull these people live here, this must be paradise".

Jazz: "It's getting harder to believe that Nature wasnt lying to us".

The creatures didnt pay much attention to the strangers wandering trough their town, they kept going on with their normal lives as if they had always been here.

Slayer: "Look, there is that building, i've gotta feeling that we'll find this mercurion here, let's see what he's really upto".

Jazz: "Check out that door with the signs on it".

The door opened, a beautyfull door of solid gold, behind it a man rested in an old rabbit rested in a chair.

Slayer enterd the room and spoke to him: "Mercurion?"

The man looked up at him, he looked like he knew Slayer.

Mercurion: "You are?...."

Slayer: "Here to stop you".

Mercurion carried a puzzeled yet innocent look on his face.

Jazz: "Your sister Natura has told us all about you".

Mercurion: "The witch out of the core...she is not my sister".

Jelze: "The witch out of the core? tell us more".

Mercurion: "She is harmless..she is a crazy old woman that wants to take control over what is mine, but she wont succeed..never, but i will give you what she promised to give you".

He made a hologram of a round object appear.. when it got more shape they saw what it was.. a planet, blue oceans and seas, green grass..forests..and now habitation or buildings yet.

Mercurion: "I give you this planet..to make a fresh start".

Jazz: "That would mean allot to us".

Mercurion: "Ill give you a ship.. it will take you there".

Slayer: "We want to leave as soon as possible".

Mercurion: "Ofcourse, ofcourse...it will be arranged".

They thanked Mercurion..and when they had left..a grin of sarcasm appeard on his face.

Jelze: "Finally, we are out of here".

They prepared for the journey..a short while later..the ship left..to cary them to their new home, far, far away.







The end (for now)





Be looking forward to Alternate future, coming november 20th.


Coppertop

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May 21, 2001, 02:45 PM
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November 20th? That's MONTHS away! *sigh*
The Last Patriot

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May 21, 2001, 10:11 PM
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untill that time ill b writing

Slayer: The kain saga
Ducky

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May 22, 2001, 07:17 AM
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That was NICE, Slayie

`Ducky
JelZe GoldRabbit

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May 23, 2001, 07:08 AM
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All done reading it Now for the Kain saga
Rumbo Rabbit

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May 27, 2001, 02:48 AM
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ENCORE, ENCORE! I loved it!!! That was such a cool story. Ill be looking out for your next one, hopefully I will be in it. If you want me to then please say and Ill give you some characteristics about me. Oh yeah hi Jelze and Blacksheep, Im sure you two boh remember me Im writing a new story soon so please tell me (on my subject) if you want to be in it. There will be limited places though but Im keeping a place for good old Jelze speak to you guys later!



Rumbo Rabbit
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'With his father dead and his life as confusing as TIME itself, he stood independantly with his blaster and sword by his side. He was going to save the world, no doubt about it...'
 

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