The Wounded Warrior OR The Warriored Wound. Or something like that.



It was an after Easter Monday, the Monday after Easter Sunday, in fact, and a few people were sitting around inside the War Tavern. Alec, BB, Blacksheep, Cobra, Dreama, Ducky, Me and NOBODY. (I know my alphabet!) Everything had been cleared up, it had all been a joke on Cobra. There was only one mystery left over, (Besides where the X-men 1 comics went) why BB was carrying a sign saying "Free tuna fish sandwhiches!" NOBODY knew why, but he wasn't telling, so it was a mystery. At last, after what didn't seem an enternity, Kovu asked BB why he was carrying the sign. "Because it's in to be out, and it's out to be in! " BB cried, swinging the sign around. "Actually, because I recently started FTFS clan. Free Tuna Fish Sandwhiches." They kicked out BB for being weird. Then Cobra made a point. "We need a new plot, guys." Ducky slapped Cobra on the back. "Excelsior, Cobra! Let's think!" It was apparent the highly strong wine Ducky had been drinking was starting to take effect. Everyone there (And a few who weren't) thought on what would be a good plot. At last they decided to put on a play called The Wounded Warrior.



Dreama shouted "SPOOF!" for no reason and then returned to normal. "Right, if the play we're having will be called The Wounded Warrior, I presume it should have a Wounded Warrior in it. Anyone agree?" None of them did, so Dreama was kicked out. Batty Buddy then came back in and perched on a not quite over polished rafter. "Well then, what shall the plot be?" Me was the first to think of a plot. "So this guy is walking along, see, and Batty Buddy drops anvils on him, see, and they totally squash him, see, and" Me was thrown out for suggesting a plot that involved a (perhaps mortally) wounded warrior in it.



Then Cobra released her brainstorm. "A lot of specially trained cobras are walking along, which are trained by me, myself, moi, etc, when a big cage falls on them. They eat the cage and go looking for the person who tried to capture them. Meanwhile, the big cheese is being eaten by an evil princess, who has recently subjected a knight to mortal peril. As we all know, mortal peril is not very perilous, so I don't get kicked out. Right? Anyway, the mortal peril is the trained cobras, trained by me, myself, moi, etc, who are not evil. The cobras and the knight and the partly eaten big cheese team up and overthrow the princess. Like it?" The others applauded Cobra's idea, and kicked her out for being way too smart. "Now then," said Kovu. "We need some scripts. I'll go home and make some." Kovu then proceeded to make some scripts at home. When he returned, the rest had forgotten about the play and were laying in various heaps on the floor.



"Wake up, people!" shouted Kovu, waking up the heaps. "I got the plots, check them out!" Me, who had come back in while Kovu was away, took one. He read the tile: Romeo and Juliet, by Kovu AKA Alec. "Not quite, Kovu. We need scripts for The Wounded Warrior, not some example of great literature." Kovu was kicked out, as you may have guessed, and Cobra thought of something. "I know, let's see if Batty Buddy has got any The Wounded Warrior scripts in his backpack!" She reached out, and pulled out a 747 jet. "Uh." "I'll get rid of it!" shouted Me, jumping to the rescue. He ran into the plane (Well, actually he ran inside it, picky picky) and jumped into the pilot's seat. "Hmmm, I wonder which button to press? I'll press this one." Me pressed the button saying "Fire". The engines burst into flames, and Ducky shouted "RUN!". Me ran into the wall of the plane, and fell unconscious. BB, retaining presence of mind, grabbed a fire entinguisher that was on the wall and sprayed the engines. The danger was over, for now.



(To be continued later in this post)



























































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































(Continued from before)

Me woke up. He was still in the plane. He had also failed to get it out of the War Tavern. He pressed another button, marked "Take off". Suddenly, huge invisible hands took off the plane's wings and depostied them on another planet. Scraparap, to be exact. "Man, this is one LITERAL plane." mumbled me, pressing "Fly". The plane's nose opened up, revealing a mouth, which shouted "Fly ball!" Me got out, beaten, and said "I give up, I can't get it out. Sorry."



Meanwhile, in the War Tavern, the rest of the characters (With the exception of NOBODY, who had been totally forgotten) lounged around. Blacksheep spoke up. "I wonder when Me's going to get back." Kovu, from a pickle jar, returned "I dunno. He was asleep in the plane when we carried it out so who knows when he'll get back. Maybe in a year." Then Me came in the doorway. "I'm................................. Baaaaaaaaack!" They kicked Me out for taking so long and starting discussing the play again. "We still need scripts, anyone want to give BB's backpack another go?" Ducky volunteered, and pulled out... The wings from the plane? She threw them aside, not thinking, and reached back in. Then she heard the impact as the wings hit the wall and the whole building creek. Cobra took command. "Get everything not of value out onto the street! Cobra and children first!" The whole place then collapsed on them all, except Me, who was still outside where he had been kicked to.



Days later, Me walked up to the remains of the War Tavern and knocked on the door. Surprisingly, the door was the only thing still standing. Kovu went to answer the knock. "Hello? Oh, it's you, Me. What did you want?" "Got any scripts yet?" "Oh yeah! I'll go home and make some, and real ones this time!" Kovu then went home and made some, and real ones this time. When he returned, the police were there. They arrested Kovu for preforming physical improbabilities (Considering he was buried under the War Tavern, he couldn't have done that stuff.) and confinscated BB's backpack, which was laying around loose. Me took the scripts and looked at them. They did seem to be all in order, this time. He got out a shovel, and unburied the characters who weren't him or arrested or NOBODY. After they all were safe, with the exception of Kovu, Me handed out the scripts. "Now, we just need to decide who will play whom. I'll be the knight."



Me = Knight.



Cobra raised a hand. "I want to be the evil princess. Please?" Cobra was kicked in(to the ruins) for wanting to be evil. Then Ducky spoke up. "I'll be the princess then. And I'll only pretend to be evil, as good badness is so much better then bad badness or bad goodness, though not as good as good goodness."



Me = Knight.

Ducky = Evil Princess.



Blacksheep was then casted as the big cheese, and some specially trained cobras belonging to Cobra were decided to be Cobra's specially trained cobras.



Me = Knight.

Ducky = Evil Princess.

Blacksheep = Big cheese.

Cobra's cobras = Cobra's cobras.

Dreama = SFX, Special Effects and Lighting.



Then Batty Buddy and Cobra demanded rolls. Can you say demanded? Good. Cobra was given Key Grip, which none of them knew what it was but sounded official, and Batty Buddy became publicity manager. They then set to work on the things needed. Costumes, refreshments and stuff. Me worked on the costumes while Ducky did fliers, under BB's directions. Blacksheep whipped up some refreshments, Cobra made a stage out of toothpicks, Dreama made the booths for SFX, Lighting, Special Effects and Key Grip. Meanwhile, BB took piano lessons in hope of creating a new hit tune just for something to do.



At last, everything was ready, BB had not created a hit tune yet but was ready for publicity management, which was not necessary during preformances. The others told him so and he went off to sulk. The grandstand, which had been made along with the stage, and with the same material, was filled and the audience waited impatiently for the play. Then Ducky remembered one problem. They hadn't done any rehearsals, and none of them had tried to learn their lines as they wanted to be off script. Knowing this, they turned from glee to despair. Dreama even suggested calling off the play. Then Cobra saved the day, or so it seemed.



"I've been showing the script to a few of my friends, and they have been learning the parts so they can put the play on for some fund raiser! They know all the parts and their lines, and would be glad to help!" "All right, let's go. And hurry! BB, you do some sort of comedy act to stall while we get Cobra's friends." They went to the building where Cobra's friends were. The door was answered by Cheeze. "Hi, I'm Cheeze. Cobra told me all about it on the phone. We'll be glad to help, as long as you have good costumes." Me supplied the bundle of fabrics which were the costumes. "Ah, good. I'm Cheeze, I play the big cheese. This is BBoy, who plays the knight. The one with the make up and wig is BoX, playing the evil princess. Those guys are Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby, Derby and Derby. They play the cobras." Ducky cheered, and then asked about Lighting, SFX, Special Effects and Key Grip. "Who does those? "Those four Derbys over there." "Great, but we gotta hurry. We're supposed to be preforming, ummm, in negative ten minutes."



Cobra's friends arrived just before the audience left, and put on the play. Considering it was so short, and having nothing to do with the title, most of the audience wanted their money back and turned Me's careful work (the costumes, duh) into mountains of rotten tomatoes. BB paid them back and then went to sulk again. The few of the audience who had liked the play had given enough money to rebuild the War Tavern, and pay bail for Kovu and BB's backpack. The group did those things with the money. The end, we hope.





Right, now who can find the 50 odd mistakes?

I'm not even going to try, but nifty story

nonetheless, Unknown.

Me either, but I'm glad I got to play an evil princess.

`Duckary

lol