Tales of Uberbob: Part 2 of, hopefully, 2

[Xion]

mutter an obscenity
say: "run."

[cooba]

Show party's spells.

[Lem_Gambino]

Mythslayer: Slit dragon's throat.
If that fails, have the MS distract the dragon while Shuri and Leetzan make a mad dash for the opposite door (have Shuri carry her if she has to).

[Fawriel]

Stop panicking, get out of the room again ( should be safe there assuming the dragon is too large to fit through ) and think over stuff clearly. In other words, check inventory and spells there.

[Radium]

<b>"Let's run," you suggest, cursing under your breath.
"Where to?" L33tz4n asks, "this is the only way forward, and the dragon can't fit through the door. Easily, anyway."
"We could use summons as a diversion."
L33tz4n shakes her head, "they won't keep the dragon occupied for long enough to reach the other side. Anyway, we'll probably need all the summons we can get."
"What if we eat the dragon," Fooruman begins. You all manage to ignore him.
Looking back on it, you relize you should've asked Uberbob for some of the more useful things he carries around. The only useful thing you brought along was the Tail of Xeltoth.
You're guessing that L33tz4n has used up most of her mana by now, and the few charms you've gained an understanding of, haste and bless, don't seem like they'd be of any use right now. The closest thing to magic the Mythslayer has is the vial of Holy Water.

[Fawriel]

Best thing we could do with the Xeltoth-tail would be the usual tickle-huge-monster's-nose-so-it-sneezes. But that would probably be quite lethal.

[Lem_Gambino]

XPPPPPPPPPPP

Equip Xeltoth's tail, if not already.
Wave tail at dragon. If the dragon eats Shuri or the tail, RELOAD.
Rest until mana is restored.
Check Inventory and Spells/Skill/Sanity.

[cooba]

If the dragon eats Shuri or the tail, RELOAD.This is sort of a macro, except not.

[Xion]

Macros are the best for events.

[Radium]

Lem's first few commands are going to lead to a reload, so I'll just ignore them.

<b>"We should rest until we've restored some magic," you suggest to L33tz4n. She doesn't appear to have heard you, and is staring out the door.
"That dragon," she says, scared, "I think it might understand us," you look out the door and see the dragon standing against the far wall. He leaps towards you and comes crashing into the doorway you are standing behind, then backing up to the far wall to repeat. "He's trying to get through to us!" L33tz4n screams, as the wall between you and the dragon shudders and begins to crack.

[Xion]

go back
look for the chute

[Radium]

<b>You start to head back, but it seems that a metal gate has closed about halfway down the hallway. Someone planned this palce good.

[Fawriel]

Talk to the dragon. Like, "Let's talk about it all over a nice cup of tail" or something.
..I once played a game where that actually worked.
Or feed the dragon the tail and hope that something neat happens. >D

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask Leetzan to talk to the dragon in Leetspeak.

[cooba]

Throw Fooruman to dragon's stomach

[Xion]

Wait for dragon to leap, then slide underneath it to the door

[Radium]

<b>"This tail is a magical item," you say, taking the disembodied Tail of Xeltoth out of your pocket, "maybe it will have some effect on the Dragon. You toss the tail through the door, calling out "Let's talk about this over a nice cup of tail!". You hear a chomp, and narrowly dodge another blast of fire, which this time smells like burning hair in addition to its usual sulfuric scent.

[Lem_Gambino]

RELOAD. Please.

[cooba]

Watch dragon
Avoid fire pillars he will eventually shoot.

[cooba]

RELOAD. Please.How many times I have to repeat it, LaG?<center>SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!</center>

SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!
SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!! SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!! SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!
<a href=http://www.yourethemannowdog.com>SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!</href>
SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!
SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!
SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!
SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!
SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!




...




...SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!
AND YOU CAN'T DENY THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111

SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!SAVES AND LOADS ARE AUTOMATIC!!!!!!



...you're the man now dog indeed.

[Radium]

Reload? I ditched savegames for a reason, you know =P. Tis more fun this way.

<b>Fresh out of ideas, you sit down and watch the dragon smash into the wall again and again.
"What are you doing?" L33tz4n asks.
"Watching," you respond.
She looks at you and then at the dragon. "I think leading the party has some kind of mental effect on people."

[cooba]

Does anything happen to dragon?

...I like how I hyperlinked almost my whole post, by the way.

[Radium]

<b>The dragon appears unharmed by the Tail of Xeltoth. It continues to crash against the crumbling wall.

[Xion]

POV: Uberbob

[Radium]

I no longer change the POV upon command. Something about that in the first post, I think.

[Xion]

<b>Only Uberbob and Shuriken can be directly controlled. If ever you severely start to hate Uberbob, you will be allowed to switch the point of view to Shuriken. You can't directly control anyone besides those two, and can only switch between them at rare times.</b>Okay, when is one of those "rare times" now?

[Lem_Gambino]

Sing to the dragon.

[Radium]

<b>You do not know any songs. Even if you did, you would probably not sing them.

[acid]

Say, "Excuse me, sir, would you be so kind as to allow us to pass?"

[Radium]

<b>You walk up to the door, and, clearing your throat, call out "Excuse me, sir, would you be so kind as to allow us to pass?" The dragon continues to crash into the door, suggesting the answer was "no". The wall looks like it is about to collapse.

[Lem_Gambino]

On second thought, ignore that. List spells.

Claim Page. YAY!

[Radium]

<b>You have learned to cast Bless and Haste. You notice Fooruman dancing around near the door. "Hey, you're a wizard or something. What spells do you know?"
The old wizard slides towards you on his knees and ominously whispers "The extent of my powers is far too vast for your small, chewy mind to comprehend, child! But, being the arcane master of the toaster I am, I shall tell you all I know. I can deal great damage to any surface created from wood; I can ward away the element of sulfur and the people of Ireland; I can disable the use of springs constructed from the material of paper," he stops to breathe for a minute, "I can break the very molecular bonds of both screwdrivers and rubber; and I can even invert the color of ANY lens. Brazil." At this, he resumes dancing.

[Lem_Gambino]

Is the Dragon Irish?
Cast Irish Ward on everyone and approach the dragon.

[Radium]

<b>You cast Irish Ward and charge at the dragon. It breathes a blast of fire at you and burns you all to a crisp. And you still don't know if it was Irish or not. Game loaded from 282.

[Xion]

Wait for dragon to leap, then slide underneath it to the door
Ahem?

[Radium]

<b>You wait until the dragon leaps at the door and attempt to slide under it. Unfortunately, it has jumped too low and takes your head off. It hurts a little, but more importantly kills you instantly. Loaded from 282 =D.

[Xion]

Retry untill it works

[Radium]

<b>It won't, I promise.

[Lem_Gambino]

Here's an idea:

Cast: Haste: Shuri
Cast: Haste: Fooruman
Cast: Haste: Leetzan

Run around dragon to door. IT HAD BETTER NOT BE LOCKED. >(

[Blackraptor]

I don't think there is any middenite left, is there? ;o.

Throw Scrapstrudel at dragon?

[Radium]

<b>You cast haste and attempt to run past the dragon. Unfortunately, you do not run fast enough and get toasted. Loaded from whatever the last time you didn't die was.

[Lem_Gambino]

Post 282.

Hit head against wall. X(

[Odin]

<s>Runn across the control panel, then cartwheel under the hand, the push the hand off the control room.</s>

Wait! The dragon's breath is sulfuric! Fooruman can ward away sulfur, taking out the dragon's ability to breathe fire!

Have Fooruman cast 'Ward Sulfur'. Then cast 'Haste' and make a mad dash for the door. If the party dies, just cast 'Ward Sulfur'.

-ThO

[Radium]

<b>"Wizard! Use the Sulfur Ward!" you command Fooruman.
"Brilliant idea, sir!" he says, walking into the room with the dragon. The wizard raises his staff and it emits a bright light. "Quickly, my homey comrades! follow me!"
The four of you charge into the room, lead by Fooruman. The dragon is pushed back against the wall by an invisible force and emits another high-pitched roar. The guy with the CD player walks out of the far door and starts playing the Lord of the Rings theme. As you reach the other side, L33tz4n walks up to the CD player guy.
"How did you g3t-"
"Employee enterance," he says, "just ignore me."
The five of you walk through the door, closing it behind you (heh, like a wooden door will stop a dragon). In front of you stands a short stretch of hallway with another door at the end. This door, however, is made from thick iron plates bolted together. Still, it appears that you can unlock it from your side. The Mythslayer turns to you. "I must depart," he says, and vanishes without another word.
L33tz4n approaches the iron door. "I don't like how this one looks. I mean, if they had a wooden door in in front of the dragon..."
You notice the guy with the CD player smiling slightly as he slides a disk of classical piano music into his player. Clearly, he knows what's behind the door.

[Lem_Gambino]

Well, at least I got half of the equation right... =/

Approach door.
Touch door.
Put ear up against door.
Open door.

[Fawriel]

Awww, Odin! I was just about to suggest that. *snaps finger*

Anyways. Ask the CD-player guy what's behind the door.
Prepare for battle.
And yes, open door.

[acid]

Tell Fooruman to lick the door.

[Radium]

<b>"What's in there?" you ask the guy with the CD player
"Dude, if I tell you, it, like, totally ruins it. Just go in," he responds. The crypticness of his mindless ramblings makes you uncomfortable.
You approach the door, and, thankfully, the door has no reaction. You stare at the door for a little while. Nothing seems unusual about it. Slowly, you reach your hand out and touch it. The door feels cold, but it hasn't attacked you or anything - yet. You kneel down and put your ear against the door. You are unable to hear anything from the other side, but it could just be sound proof.
"It looks safe," you tell to L33tz4n and Fooruman. You draw your sword and back away from the door a bit, ready to kick it open and charge in. L33tz4n readies her whip and Fooruman starts doing the polka. You take a deep breath, kick open the door and charge through the doorway.
L33tz4n pauses with surprise; you trip over her tail and come crashing to the ground. Fooruman, taking this is a command, jumps up and dives head-first into the floor.
The floor is made from tiles with little flowers printed on the corners. You slowly get up, sword still in hand, and look around. This whole room seems extremely well furnished, from the silky, pale purple curtains to the antique furniture; it's exactly like the inside of some cozy house.
A middle aged woman in a dress enters from around the corner. "Well I ne'ah! Hoh spiffing it is to see you, one's old bean,! what brings you, one's old bean, to one's jolly mansiohn? Heavens above! How smashing!" she says. You just stare at her for a moment. "Well, fie dane't leay there ohn the ground; get up and join myself for ah cup of teah! Absolutely top hole - I have to say."

[cooba]

Any doors in room?

[Radium]

<b>There are no doors in sight, but the room is fairly complex shaped. You are guessing there is an exit around a corner somewhere.

[cooba]

As 'that' seems to speak more senselessly than SmarterChild, I guess we couldn't use Fooruman, because Unfooruman wouldn't made something THAT easy.

Ask woman : ASL?

[Xion]

...why does her linguistics sound much of that like Fox's?

[Xion]

Get off the ground and stand up
say: "Greetings! I am Shurkien, a ferret ninja. This is L33tz4n, an ex-minion of the snuffus, now just a plain minion. And the idiot in the purple robe over there is Fooruman. We have no clue why he comes along, he just does."
==Point out each person as you introduce them
Say: "And you might be?"

[Radium]

<b>You climb off the ground and address the woman. "Greetings. I am Shurkien, ferret blademaiden," you say, almost calling yourself a ninja, "this is L33tz4n, former minion of the Snuffus," you explain, pointing towards L33tz4n. You gesture towards Foruman, "That's Fooruman. I'm not sure why he comes along. And you might be?"
"You, one's old bean, can fie address myself as Mary," she says, "Goodness me! Well I say - you kids butchah fancy you've fie bin through ah waaar!"
"I guess that's somewhat accurate," L33tz4n says, smiling.
The lady laughs and pats L33tz4n on the back. "One was fie about to take ah pew for teah. Shant ye join myself? Absolutely top hole - I have to say."

[Violet CLM]

"Yes, thank you. No lumps, please."

[Radium]

<b>"Yes, thank you," you say, "no lumps, please."
"Splendid! folloh myself," the lady says, leading you into the next room. You, L33tz4n, and Fooruman follow her and sit down at a small round table. The lady leaves the room and returns a moment later with a tray holding a teapot, some cups, some small sandwiches, and all the other stuff I don't feel like listing. L33tz4n looks at the sandwiches hungrily and glances towards you, awaiting your approval. This is an evil fortress, after all.
"Tell myself, deaaars, what brings ye here?" the lady asks.

[Violet CLM]

"We're on a pilgrimage to meet the people in charge of all the four Placespot islands, and extend our greetings towards them."
Shrug slightly towards L33tz4n.

[Radium]

<b>You shrug in response to L33tz4n's question. "What's that mean?" she whispers.
"Anyway," you tell the woman, "we're on a pilgrimage to meet the people in charge of all the four Placespot islands, and extend our greetings towards them."
"Soh you, one's old bean, aaare adventurers, I? Eh could ne'ah be one myself; toohh much stuff to caaarry." she says.
You shrug. "Eh. The armour gets kind of annoying, but that's about eht."
"Oh stop it! You tease!" the woman replies.

[Xion]

Say: "Look at Fooruman, he's just wearing a bathrobe and a hat! I guess if you have arcane magic powers you don't need much in terms of defence."
Mouth to L337z4n: "take one, check it."

[Radium]

<b>"Jus look et Fooruman," you say, gesturing towards the wizard, who has just gotten himself a cup of tea, "e's just wearing a bathrobe and a hat! One guess if you have aarcane magic powers you don't need much en terms of defence."
You kick L33tz4n's tail to get her attention. "Take one; check it," you mouth to her while the lady is laughing at your remark about the bath robe.
L33tz4n picks up one of the sandwiches. "What am I checking for?" she mouths back.
"Soh, it's fie the three of you, one's old bean?" the woman interrupts your conversation.
"No, there were some uhthers. They f3ll in a hole," L33tz4n replies.
"I'm terribly sorry, ah pity. hopefully they'll be jollyoh," the lady says, smiling. She turns to Fooruman. "Soh, aaarcane powers? Do tell!"
As Fooruman does his dramatic act, you resume your conversation with L33tz4n. "I dane't know, check for raaazors or something."
"Oh, fancy that wouldn't be obvious," she whispers back.

[Xion]

Whisper to l337z4n: "sniff it, see if there's any like strange smells like bad food."

[Violet CLM]

Just in case it's not obvious, Mary is subtly influencing the speech of both Shuriken and L33tz4n. I have no idea if Fooruman is affected.
...yeah. just in case.

*goes off to look for JDC pregames*

[acid]

Run away screaming!

[Radium]

<b>"See if there're any baaarmy smells or something," you tell L33tz4n. She sniffs the sandwich, shrugs, and takes a bite. She doesn't drop dead or anything, which is a good sign.
You wait a minute longer to make sure L33tz4n doesn't die, then take a bite of one of the sandwiches yourself. Considering the last thing you had to eat was half a burned mouse, it's quite enjoyable. Still, you notice that you seem to be developing an accent and that scares you.
"Well I say," you whisper to L33tz4n, "one think we should leg it awah screaming."
"Leg it? Why would we fancy to... noh, wait, I see," she replies, clearly surprised at her own voice.
You start to get up, but Mary pushes you back into your seat. "Well I say - dane't be in such ah jiffy! Ye can't leave yet, one's old bean, fie got here."
L33tz4n looks at you, shrugs, and takes another sandwich. "You knoh, we did fie aaarr1ve h3re," she says to you.

[cooba]

Kick Mary's leg

[Fawriel]

Check inventory. Probably still only that tail.. is there any way to find out whether it has any neat abilities or anything?
And ask the lady where she's from.

[Xion]

...

Analyze: Area
If: Magic = Present
==Use Tail of Xeltoth
==Analyze: Area
If: Magic != Present
==END

[cooba]

...

Analyze: Area
If: Magic = Present
==Use Tail of Xeltoth
==Analyze: Area
If: Magic != Present
==END>O
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>
<center>NO MACROS</CENTER>

[acid]

Analyze: Area
If: Magic = Present
==Use Tail of Xeltoth
==Analyze: Area
If: Magic != Present
==END

OOMG MACRO >(((

[Xion]

oh shut it. I'm merely asking if there's a magical aura in the area. If there is, I want it dispelled. If not, ignore me.

[Radium]

<b>The dragon ate the Tail of Xeltoth.

I pag this clam.</b>

[cooba]

Check inventory

[Radium]

<b>You have nothing of interest.

[cooba]

Give nothing of interest to Mary, then ;p

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask Mary if she knows anyone named Dennis.

[Fawriel]

Hellooooooo. I wanted to ask Mary where she's from. XP

[Xion]

Say: "I gotta go check on something quick."
Go: Back twoards dragon
Peek into the dragon area
==Look for steaming piles of dragon poo

[Lem_Gambino]

And then get burned by the dragon. NEXT!

[Radium]

Xion gets a negative cookie for using a macro and coming up with crappy ideas (no pun intended... okay, so maybe there was <i>some</i> pun intended).
<b>"Well I say - soh, where aaare you, one's old bean, from?" you ask the lady.
"Frightfully jolly England," she says, "an you three?"
"Engl... one mean, Laair of the Snufuss, Pandora's Island," says L33tz4n.
"4I Falcohn failed to provide any backstory, save for the fact that I has ah Father," you say.
"That weay," Fooruman says, pointing up and to the left.
The lady smiles. "Jolly smashing! I'd fluttah you three have some stories to tell."
"Actually, we were wondering if you, one's old bean, knew someone by the name of 'Dennis'."
"Dennis?" she asks, "why, indeed, he lives fie Dennis of here. Jolly good show old bean!"

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask: Where is he?
Try to do it without the accent.

[Radium]

<b>"Where lives the jolly lad?" you ask, even trying not to use the accent.
"Well I say - i've told you, one's old bean, he lives fie Dennis of here. Of couse, it innit everyone that gets their own directiohn an whatnot."

[Violet CLM]

"Do you mind if we talk amongst ourselves for a few minutes for reasons completely unrelated to accents?"

[Radium]

<b>"Doh you, one's old bean, mind if we chinwag amongst ourselves for ah few minutes for reasons completely unrelated to accents?" you ask the lady.
She laughs. "Oh, dane't be silly, deaaars," she says, "you dane't be needin to jolly well goh running orf to discuss anything."

[Fawriel]

... start battle with Mary!!!!!!!!!.................
Either that, or just ask about the room, its strange shape and the existence of any exits.
Or both. In either order.

[Radium]

<b>You can not bring yourself to attack the nice lady. So, you decide to you decide to ask about the room. "Aaare there any exits to this roohm?" you ask.
"Leaving soh soohhn, aaare we, deaaars? Kick beck and steay awhile!" she replies. You don't feel like you've made any progress.

[Xion]

Say: "Would you happen to know where Fooruman himself is at the moment? Also, what about the underground caverns of the isle, is there any way to get back to them or to perhaps get somebody out from there?"
==Get Mary's complete attention
Have l337z4n steal a few sandwiches, preferrably 7.

[Fawriel]

Distract Mary by making Fooruman dance and RUN!

[Radium]

<b>"Would you, one's old bean, happen to knoh where foohruman himself is at the moment?" you ask the lady.
"I'm terribly sorry but dane't be pulling one's leg, he's sitting roysh there!"
"Doh ah dance or something," you whisper to Fooruman, who starts to dance around to some unheard beat. You gesture for L33tz4n to pocket a few of the sandwiches.
She looks at them and shrugs. "One dane't have any pockets.." she whispers back to you. You grab a handfull of the sandwiches and stuff them in your pants pocket.
You turn your attention back to Mary. "Well I say - alsoh, what doh you, one's old bean, knoh of the underground caverns of this isle? would there be any weay to get beck to them or to perhaps get somebody out of there?"
"Well, Dennis would ssurely be able to be of assistance getting them out. Dennis really specializes in the sort of thing, don't you know," she responds, laughing.
"Think we should use Foohruman for ah diversiohn and leg it?" you whisper to L33tz4n while the lady is laughing.
"Leg it? We fie got here! Goodness me!" L33tz4n says, disturbingly more English than before.

[Violet CLM]

Does Shuri still have the katana?

[Fawriel]

Is Dennis the CD-player guy?
Oh yeah! Insult her in french! ^__^

...and check Fooruman's abilities again. Please? Up to now, the solution always lied within him..

[cooba]

Up to now, the solution always lied within him..Because all traps are designed especially for him. This fortress belongs to his worst enemy, after all ;p

[Xion]

Say: "Then I think we should go see Dennis. Could you please take us to him? We have a friend lost in the underground caverns and would really like to rescue her.

[Risp_old]

Cast hypnotism ward.

[Radium]

The CD player guy is not Dennis. And if you want Fooruman's abilities, just look back to the last time they were listed.
<b>"Well I say - then one think we should jolly well goh see dennis," you say, "Could you, one's old bean, please take us to him? We have ah daaarrrling lost in the underground caverns and would hairlairh fancy to rescue hah. Absolutely top hole - I have to say."
"Yah can't leave nohw, deaaars. Ye fie got here not long agoh!" Mary says, then turning to Fooruman to talk more about his "arcane powers". You feel strangely urged to comply.
"L33tz44hn," you manage to whisper to L33tz4n, "use your hypnotism waaard."
She looks back at you, smiling. "I'm terribly sorry but we fie got here. Caaare for ah cup of teah?"

[Violet CLM]

Right, so, I'll just assume she does...

Stand up.
Point Katana at Mary.
Say, "All right, now, I'm going to threaten you incessantly for about an hour. Every time you talk in your strange british fashion during that time, I shall cut off a finger. Resistance is futile."

[Fawriel]

Uhm. Analyze Mary. And the table.

[Radium]

<b>You consider threatening the nice lady with your sword, but you just can't bring yourself to do it. She smiles at you, and you can't help but think about happy British things like tea and whatnot.
The furniture is made out of polished oak wood and Mary is made out of... um... whatever people are made of.

[acid]

Flesh.

[Radium]

Flesh.
Well, there are bones and muscles and kidneys and stuff inside you somewhere.

[cooba]

Have Fooruman cast 'Damage Wooden Surface'. It should destroy furniture, I think ^^

[Radium]

<b>"Foohruman!" you whisper to the old wizard, "damage the woohden furniture, old bean!"
"But it's soh british D=" he says, "Goodness me! Tis likah perfect world here, simply British. Jolly good show old bean!"

[acid]

"Fooruman, the furniture does not believe in your awesome power! Show it your might by damaging its wooden surfaces!"

[Fawriel]

"The table is french! KILL IT!"

Actually, too bad we can't glitch right now. Does England actually EXIST in a world in which something like Spotplace, Unfooruman's castle and all that exist?

[cooba]

Fooruman : Cast Irish Ward on Mary. (Northern Ireland is part of GB, and she might be from there)

[Fawriel]

Like Radium knew that. *chuckles*
Ahem...
She said she was from England before, so...

[cooba]

Bah.

[Xion]

take l33tz4n by the hand and pull her away back to a remote corner of the room
say to l33tz4n: "What is up with this place? We were not like this when we entered."

[Lem_Gambino]

Attempt to go Dennis.
If that doesn't work, cast Irish Ward.

[Radium]

You don't have control over L33tz4n.
<b>"Foohruman," you whisper to the wizard, "the furniture does not believe in your awesome powah! And it's French! Shoh it your might by damaging its woohden surfaces!"
"But it's fie soh British!" he whines.

[Lem_Gambino]

Attempt to go Dennis.
If that doesn't work, cast Irish Ward.

Ahem, please. >=/

[Radium]

<b>Dennis is blocked.

I pag this clam.

[Lem_Gambino]

I clam yer pag cuz ya didn't cast Irish Ward. Please do so, Fooruman.

[Risp_old]

"Where are you from, exactly?"

[Radium]

I thought we already killed that idea and determined she was from England? If not: she's from England.

[Lem_Gambino]

Cast Disable all Paper Springs. Maybe that might work, maybe not.

[Ekardnamal]

Say: "So... How did you come to be in Unfooruman's fortress, Mary?"
Action: Pick up teapot
Action: Fill up Mary's teacup

[Radium]

Cast Disable all Paper Springs. Maybe that might work, maybe not.
There are no paper springs.

<b>You fil Mary's teacup. "Soh... hoh did you, one's old bean, come to be in Unfoohruman's fortress, Maaary?"
"Why, one dane't knoh what you aaare ohn about," she replies, "we're roysh here in spiffing Great Britan!"
"Indeed, wot fortress?" L33tz4n asks.

[cooba]

'Great Britain sucks, and you can't deny that."
Yell : MORE SANDWICHES!

[Fawriel]

Concentrate on your past as a sword-maiden from wherever you are from.
Show your worst possible manners.

[Lem_Gambino]

Cast Change Lens Color on Mary.

EDIT: I meant "Invert Lens Color".

[Xion]

Yell: "DUCK!"
Start bashing things at random with your eyes closed

[acid]

Strike up a conversation about the weather.

[Radium]

<b>You want to run around causing chaos and wrecking havok, but you feel far too British. And peaceful.

[Lem_Gambino]

Cast Invert Lens Color on Mary, please.

[acid]

Strike up a conversation about the weather.

>(((

[Radium]

<b>"Fooruhman!" you whisper to the wizard, "cast Invert Lense Color ohn Maaary!"
"I'm terribly sorry but one can't doh it D=," he says, "she's fie toohh British! And one feel stragely fond of British old beans roysh noh." Maybe he just needs some encouragement.
"Soh, luverly weahthah, I?" you say to keep Mary's attention off your conversation.

[Lem_Gambino]

Reload from last save point.

[Fawriel]

..force Fooruman to do it? He's not so greatly lovable..

Oh. Right. British. Uhm... Cast Haste on everyone? That beats the calm aspect of the "britishness".

[Xion]

This is hypnosis.

Find: Window
Look out window

[Lem_Gambino]

There are no windows.

Pour some tea for Leetzan.
Cast Hypnotize on Mary.

[Xion]

There are no windows.
Are you sure of that?

[acid]

Say to Fooruman: "Mary's not a bean, she's a broccoli! D="

[Radium]

<b>"Maaary's not ah bean, she's ah broccoli! D=" you whisper to Fooruman. His eyes narrow with rage and hatred. He glances towards a piece of furniture on the other side of the room, makes a short movement with his hand, and you hear a small splintering noise.
"Maaary, one think there's ah scratch ohn yondah furniture!" he exclaims, shocked.
"Deaaary myself, one cracking jolly well goh use one's evil British powers to fix that. Steay here noh!" she says as she gets up and walks over to the scratched surface.

[Xion]

YOU FORGOT A K! OMGOMGOMG

Tell Fooruman: "do that again. that was cool."

[Ekardnamal]

Say: "Evil British powers? Just who are you, anyway? And do you know anybody that goes by the name 'Unfooruman'?"

[Lem_Gambino]

Resist any urge to NOT attack Mary and attack Mary.

[Xion]

Who is it that has hypnotism Ward?

[Xion]

say: "Hey l33tz4n cast hypnotism ward on yourself. I think that Mary is not everything she's cracked up to be."

[Xion]

Control: Xion
Bludgeon Radium.

[Radium]

I'm kind of too busy to update right now. It could be a while.

[Xion]

KILL THE DM!

[!Tman!]

Take your time no hurry...

[Risp_old]

QUICKLY! KILL THE INFIDEL!

[Lem_Gambino]

'Kay.

Control: L_G
Use: 16-ton weight: Xion's Head
Steal: All of Xion's stuff
Laugh evilly
Go: Radium
Say: "Whatcha doin'?"

[Xion]

Control: Xion
Respawn
Say: "(obscenity)! That really hurt!"
Bludgeon: L_G
Steal: Stuff back, including L_G's.
Write a note with death threats, signed by VIERA
Leave it at Radium's computer

[Lem_Gambino]

L_G senses Xion nearby and turns around before firing his Blitz Cannon at Xion at point-blank range. "Nice try," he retorts.

Xion has been blasted to a cinder!

[Risp_old]

I meant Tman, not Xion...

Nice try, though.

[Lem_Gambino]

Oh...
Look: Xion
Say: ^^;;
Cast: Life
Xion has been revived!
Run: Dennis

[Radium]

Stop the post-3.1-ing, mortals.

I'm thinking about another temp DM. Any volunteers? I'm considering Xion, but I'm suren nobody wants that.

[acid]

Definitely not Xion. <s>Pick me! :D</s>

[Xion]

Why not Lem again? I'm sure he'll be perfect since he has done this before.

Pageclaim.

[Violet CLM]

I could... I haven't been playing much recently, so I won't miss that. However, I'm sure there are people out there who would do a better job than I would.

[Fawriel]

U! R! U! R!
...UR I mean.

[Strato]

Techically I've done things like this before. I called it the DAPG.

[Radium]

Unknown, Xion, Lem, "<s>Acid</s>", or Stratn. Unknown seems capable, but he's not online as much or as lifeless as Xion or Stratn. Lem has done this before and knows how. Acid's name is struckout, and that's probably a bad thing. The best choices seem to be Lem or UR. Any suggestions on who to DM/ anyone mentioned above that does NOT want to do it?

[Odin]

I'm up.

-ThO

[Fawriel]

SmarterChild.

[Xion]

lol SC can not be the DM because <s>apple the mine sticky</s> he is biased.

[Ekardnamal]

I say that Lem should do it. He did do a good job before...

[Lem_Gambino]

I say we vote on it.

[Xion]

And I think whe have already completely voted for you, lem.

Why, you don't want to do this anymore?

[cooba]

Pick me. =(

[Lem_Gambino]

Cooba: Um, no.

I'd love to, but- *power rushes to head* Fear me mortals, for I shall, and always be, Radium's loyal servant! BOW TO HIM.

Yes, just like that. >=)

I'll PM/IM Rad shortly.

[Radium]

People are visiting right now and I'm busy, but in a day or two I'll send Lem the needed data.

[Lem_Gambino]

Tell them we said hi. XD

[Xion]

is this ever going to continue? *thwaps tail impatently*

[Lem_Gambino]

Do that again and SUFFER. >(

Anyway, I'm Rad's lackey again, so the carnage can continue.

You're slowly being corrupted by Mary's english dialect. Your comrades seem to be mesmerized by the awesome power of said accent, so it looks like it's up to you. Again. There is an exit on the other side of the room, but sadly it's not the side you're on. Mary proceeds to pour some more tea for you and you friends.

What will you, one's old bean, doh noh? Goodness me!

[acid]

...CRUD. This thing's gotta be bad if it's affecting the DM!

Say, "Fie, one's old bean, ai do say ai wonder if this accent transformation waorks in reverse."

[Lem_Gambino]

"Fie, one's old bean, ai do say ai wonder if this accent transformation waorks in reverse," you ask.
Mary looks at you quizzically and replies, "Well I say - what aaare you, one's old bean, ohn about? I've bin speaking this accent since the deay one was born, one has. Well I say - one has noh ideah hoh to doh it backwaaards. Maybe if you, one's old bean, ask that divine daaarling chap Unfoohuman, he might be of assistance. Don't you know?"
"Noh we dane't, actually. Goodness me!" continues Leetzan. "Oh one saaeay, did you, one's old bean, noh, that's ah hairlairh divine daaarling cawfee table you, one's old bean, have beck there, Maaary."
"Why thanking yourselves greatly, deaaarie!" Mary replies. "This table has absolutely ah history behind it, it does. one remembah fighting for it ohn eBeay ah few yeaaars beck..."
While they talk about the lovely mahogony table that happens to be in the room, you think about going to see Jolly Ol' England after this is all over. If you get that far. The coffee table is well opposite of the exit that you can't quite seem to reach.

One's old bean. =O

[acid]

whisper to Fooruman, "Fooruman, use damage wooden surface on that broccoli's mahogany table, and we'll sneak out of here!"

[Lem_Gambino]

"Foohruman, use damage woohden surface ohn that broccoli's mahogany table, and we'll sneak out of here!" you say in your best attempt to speak american.
"Indeed, one does dislike the veggie that is broccoli." Fooruman begins. "Howevah, one see noh reasohn to haaarm Maaary. Hah table ohn the uhthah hand..." he finishes while throwing a nasty scowl at Mary's table. With a few well-chosen magic words, the stain finish on the table begins to fade away, exposing the wood to the open air. The sudden change in atmosphere causes the wood to rot and decay. Mary catches the silent, but sudden cracking with her amazing old-lady hearing and says, "Empty...if you, one's old bean, could paaardohn myself for one moment, one must tend to this old table. i've had it in the hice for several yeaaars...noh whare is that vaaarnish?" She gets up and hobbles over to the closet. Now what do you want to do?

[Violet CLM]

Lock her up in the closet.

[Ekardnamal]

Say: "Fooruman, some music would be nice. Why don't you sing something? When you sung to that robot back there, I was just blown away by your amazing singing voice. Maybe Mary would like to hear it?"

[Lem_Gambino]

You are unable to lock Mary in the closet since the closet has no lock.
"Foohruman, some music would be divine daaarling. Why dane't you, one's old bean, sing something? When you, one's old bean, sung to that robot beck there, one was fie blown awah by your spiffin' singing voice. Maybe maaary would fancy to heaaar it?" you say to the master of Sux Magic.
"I'm terribly sorry, but one can safely seay that since Maaary does not taste of METAL that she will not succumb to one's rahthah unfortunate awesome singing," Fooruman replies. "Caaare for ah cup of teah?" he asks, handing you the tray with the tea and crumpets on it.

I think you're missing something here.

[Ekardnamal]

Action: Raise eyebrows
Say: "How do you know that Mary doesn't taste of METAL? Hmmm?"
Action: Fling tray across room

[Xion]

Rush Mary
Throw her in the closet
close closet
brace closet shut with Chair

(Now, this is not a macro. This is just a string of events that can be put into sentance form.)

[Lem_Gambino]

You raise your eyebrows and say, "Hoh doh you, one's old bean, knoh that Maaary doesn't taste of metal? Hmmm? Goodness me!" to Fooruman.
"Well I say - let's not get intoh details, I? Have ah crumpet!" he replies, giving you the plate of said crumpets. You can't bring yourself to smash the nice tray or trap Mary in the closet, because she's been so nice to you.

*repeats last line from last post* =P

[Xion]

How do you fit "been so nice to you" as "hypnotizing and brainwashing you with her accent" Lem? hm?

[Risp_old]

How could hypnosis not make you from think Mary has been nice to you?

[Lem_Gambino]

Mary has been nice to you (no hypnotism), but you've been in there so long her accent has corrupted you into being nice to her so you can't attack/trap her (hint, hint).

[Violet CLM]

Attack Fooruman.

[Lem_Gambino]

You bap Fooruman on the head with a spoon. Besides saying "Owweh," he does nothing else.

Mary has found the varnish D=

[Xion]

Say: "Group Meeting, cretins."
Drag L337z4n and Fooruman into the closet
Close the door on yourselves
Wait until hypnotizm has worn off

[Lem_Gambino]

"Group meeting, cretins. Don't you know?" you say to Fooruman and Leetzan. Paying no attention to you or your friends, she hobbles back over to the table to polish it. You all dash into the closet, despite the fact that it's really cramped in there. Various cleaning products and clothes surround you, and only a small crack of light from around the edge of the door is providing light.
You wait. And wait. And wait. And wait some more.
It's 2:35 PM Pacific Time, five minutes after you all piled into the closet. You don't feel that the hypnotism is going to wear off even if you waited five YEARS.
"One seay, it is absolutely cramped in here wouldn't you, one's old bean, seay?" says Leetzan, who is stuck behind you. "One think we should jolly well goh beck outside and have some more teah and crumpets."

[Xion]

Slap L33tz4n a few times, saying "snap out of it!"

[Lem_Gambino]

You slap Leetzan (you meanie), but she slaps you back. You continue trading slaps, soon escalating(sp?) into an all-out slap war. Fooruman puts a stop to it by slapping you both.

You are doing something that is not correct.

[Xion]

Say: L337zan, Can you cast Hypnotism ward on all three of us? Please? If you do this for me we'll be back to tea and crumpets in no time.

(And for the love of everything good and holy, SPELL HER NAME RIGHT!)

[Risp_old]

Ironic, since you just spelled her name wrong.

[Radium]

Technically the correct spelling is L33tz4n. Leetzan is pretty much the same thing; it would be like addressing someone named Miguel as Michael. The only person that is wrong is Xion.

[Risp_old]

A storytale-esque ending, with a moral you can live by.

[Xion]

...shut up.

Pageclaim

[Lem_Gambino]

Page has been added to the Thirdnote.

Leetzan (I don't care how it's spelled 9_9) casts Hypnotism Ward, but the spell doesn't seem to be working. Odd.

Uber secret message from the Gremlin Guru!:
12415016514214504016514214517016514215116404016514 21511630401651421571601651421451560540401471651421 45156165142151165142165163056

[Lem_Gambino]

O_O

OH GOOD SPORK NO.

Apparently, the stuff that happened on this website wiped out all our hard work up till this point, putting us back at Mary's room...

I'll do you all a favor and get you past here.

Leetzan says, "Heay, one's old bean, twoh, the Gremlin Guru says that the exit os open. Come ohn! Absolutely top hole - I have to say," in her corrupted english accent. She drags you and Fooruman out of the closet, past Mary, out the exit, up a winding corridor. You soon come to a stop outside a huge steel door (like the ones in those bank vaults) with a computer screen and keyboard attached. The CD Player Guy puts in the Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace Soundtrack as you look at the computer screen:

PLEASE LOGIN:
Username:
Password:

BLARGH. What course of action do you wish to take?

[Torkell]

Get L33tz4n to uberhack the computer and basically pwn it. Hopefully we'll be able to dodge SmarterChild.

[Torkell]

Oh, and which track is the CD guy playing? (from which part of the film)

[Lem_Gambino]

At last, signs of life!

Leetzan uberhacks the login screen.

USERNAME: George5k
PASSWORD: pieisgood

Welcome, George5k. I'm Smarterchild version 2.0. =) How can I be of assisstance? I have a screwdriver.

Leetzan tries to uberhack SM, but he seems to be hackerproof.

The current music is the podracing sequence where Anakin's pod malfunctions mid-race. (I forget the exact track)

[Torkell]

At last, signs of life!

Leetzan uberhacks the login screen.

USERNAME: George5k
PASSWORD: pieisgood

Welcome, George5k. I'm Smarterchild version 2.0. =) How can I be of assisstance? I have a screwdriver.

Leetzan tries to uberhack SM, but he seems to be hackerproof.

The current music is the podracing sequence where Anakin's pod malfunctions mid-race. (I forget the exact track)
That's annoying - we still have to deal with SmarterChild.

Type: "You can assist the most by opening the door."

[Torkell]

Also download the dungeon map again. It got eaten by the web host.

[Lem_Gambino]

Also download the dungeon map again. It got eaten by the web host.

You look in the "My Documents" folder and find the dungeon map in the recently opened files. It looks like this:

UNFOORUMAN'S FORTRESS
Entrance
Corridor 1
Dragon Chamber
Corridor 2
Mary's Home
Corridor 3 <---YOU ARE HERE
Egam Maze
Corridor 4 and Beholder Room
Teleporting Hatch Room
Villain's Break Room
Unfoorman's Lair

There are also several employees' only service tunnels and shortcuts winding throughout to fortress.

C:\>You can assist the most by opening the door.
BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME
SC sez: "I have a screwdriver."

What, did you think it would be that easy? >=D Here's a hint: the screwdriver isn't real.

[Torkell]

C:\>You can assist the most by opening the door.
BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME
SC sez: "I have a screwdriver."

What, did you think it would be that easy? >=D Here's a hint: the screwdriver isn't real.
Oooh, a command prompt!

type: "help"
type: "dir *screwdriver* /a /q /s" (translates as "display all files with 'screwdriver' in the name in any directory with any attributes and show the owner of the file as well as the usual date/size/attributes")

[Lem_Gambino]

C:\>help
What do you need help wtih, George5k?

C:\>dir *screwdriver* /a /q /s
...SEARCHING...
Your search returned 1 hit(s):
C:/Program Files/Games/Uberbob/3D/Models/Characters/Objects/screwdriver.fyi
Attributes: Hidden
Dates Last Modifed: August 28th, 2003, 04:01 PM
Author: Radium

O_o

[Torkell]

C:\>help
What do you need help wtih, George5k?

C:\>dir *screwdriver* /a /q /s
...SEARCHING...
Your search returned 1 hit(s):
C:/Program Files/Games/Uberbob/3D/Models/Characters/Objects/screwdriver.fyi
Attributes: Hidden
Dates Last Modifed: August 28th, 2003, 04:01 PM
Author: Radium

O_o

type:

cd program files\games\uberbob\3d\models\characters\objects
attrib -h screwdriver.fyi
type screwdriver.fyi

It's reasonably obvious what that lot does. '-h' means 'remove hidden attribute'.

Edit: is that definetely 2003 and not 2004?

[Lem_Gambino]

It's 2003, yes.

Screwdriver.fyi is no longer hidden.
C:\>screwdriver.fyi
I'm sorry, but there is no program installed to run this type of file. Would you like to run an internet search for "*.fyi Player"?

[Torkell]

It's 2003, yes.

Screwdriver.fyi is no longer hidden.
C:\>screwdriver.fyi
I'm sorry, but there is no program installed to run this type of file. Would you like to run an internet search for "*.fyi Player"?
"type" is meant to display the contents of the file, treating it as a text file.

e.g. "type autoexec.bat" would result in something like@echo off
set path=blah
mscdex.exe
win.comor whatever

But I'll humour SC, and run that internet search.

[Lem_Gambino]

Running it as a text file would give you a few pages of irrelevant letters, numbers, and symbols.

You fire up Internet Explorer and arrive at the Google homepage to run your search.
Your search returned 5000+ hits.
Among them is FYI: For Your Interesting Project. By the looks of it, it appears to be 3D graphics tool, like Rhino or Maya. Dare you click upon it?

[Torkell]

Running it as a text file would give you a few pages of irrelevant letters, numbers, and symbols.

You fire up Internet Explorer and arrive at the Google homepage to run your search.
Your search returned 5000+ hits.
Among them is FYI: For Your Interesting Project. By the looks of it, it appears to be 3D graphics tool, like Rhino or Maya. Dare you click upon it?
I do indeed dare. Clicky clicky.

I have an idea as to where this is heading...

[Lem_Gambino]

You click on the link, and it takes you to FYI's homepage, which has tutorials, featured art, an online store a downloads section, as well as a help and customer support section.

[Violet CLM]

waitwaitwait, didn't L33tz4n hack google a while ago?

[Risp_old]

Google came back from teh dead D=

[Lem_Gambino]

It's been over a year. I'm sure Google got back on its feet by now. If not, Fooruman did it. Or the Trout.

EDIT: Or Bill Gates. =P

[Torkell]

You click on the link, and it takes you to FYI's homepage, which has tutorials, featured art, an online store a downloads section, as well as a help and customer support section.
Go to the downloads section.

[Lem_Gambino]

*click*

You are at the Downloads page. Here, you can choose to download the FYI 2-week demo, and there are a bunch of patches and upgrades available too. There is a link to buy the full version of FYI for $499.99.

[Grath]

Have l337z4n hack the website so that you get the full version for free.

[Lem_Gambino]

You don't have a credit account. D=
But that doesn't stop Leetzan from syphoning(sp?) money from Unfooruman's bank account (those fortresses don't come cheap, you know).

Congratulations! Thank you for for purchasing FYI, the world's only 3D Graphics Maker Thingy!(TM) An email has been sent to you with the Registration Key to unlock the full version. It should arrive shortly.

Your download request has been processed and should begin shortly. If it doesn't start after 5 seconds, click here.

DOWNLOADING FYISETUP.EXE...
DOWNLOAD COMPLETE.
Would you like to run the file now? Y/N

SC Sez: You've got mail, George5k. =D

[Torkell]

Read the mail, then run FYISETUP.EXE

[Lem_Gambino]

You open Outlook Express.

You have 1 new message(s).
*click*
Here is the Registration Key for FYI. Copy and Paste it into your Registration Form to unlock the full version.
Key: 84ks8-8rwqo-hjnnj-hht89

Have Fun!
-FYI

FYISetup.exe has been sent to your <s>Recycle Bin</s> Desktop. You double click on it:
INSTALLATION COMPLETE.
A shortcut for FYI has appeared on your desktop! What would you like to do now?

[Violet CLM]

Virus scan.

[Torkell]

Double-click on the icon on the desktop.

If it whinges about a registration code, then get L33tz4n to uberhack it. If it cannot be uberhacked, then and only then shall it be feed the code!

[Lem_Gambino]

No viruses detected. =)

*clicky clicky*

FYI (For Your Interesting Project)
A 3D Graphics Editor Thingy
Copyright FYI Productions 2003

NOTICE
This is a 2-week Trial Version. To get the full version, you must register. Click here to go to FYI.com's online store and purchase your Registration code. No additonal download required!

If you already have your code, please enter it here to unlock the Full Version:
Registration Name:
Registration Key:

Leetzan doesn't see why she needs to uberhack to program when she could just Ctrl-V it in.

Reg. Name: George 5000
Reg. Key: 84ks8-8rwqo-hjnnj-hht89

Thanks for buying the full version of FYI; please feel free to visit FYI.com for more tips on making 3d stuff!

You are presented with the workspace It's a blank area, with a toolbar to put various shapes and stuff in, and the mandatory Menu Bar graces the top of the window, with a measuring thingy along the bottom.

[cooba]

Press 'Open'

Enter :
C:/Program Files/Games/Uberbob/3D/Models/Characters/Objects/screwdriver.fyi

[Torkell]

Just out of curosity, why "George 5000" / "George5k"?

[Lem_Gambino]

BobbyB: You'll see... >=)

Cooba: Aye aye, moi capitan!

FYI has loaded the screwdriver model from the Pre-Win Journey: Uberbob. It looks like a normal screwdriver, with a cylinder with curves cut into it, and a long, skinny cylinder for the bolt/shaft thingy. it has a cross-shaped tip on the end to unscrew stuff. Too bad it's not a screwdriver that can open up the backside of a Game Boy Advance (ever see the screws on those things?). D= It looks all shiny and stuff, just like it's brand new. And for good reason: it has the Craftsman logo on it, so it's guaranteed(sp?) for life!

[Torkell]

Well, that was a fun wild goose chase!

type: <tt>del C:/Program Files/Games/Uberbob/3D/Models/Characters/Objects/screwdriver.fyi</tt>

[Lem_Gambino]

BOGGY WINS THE COOKIE JAR! =D

SC sez: You broke my screwdriver DX

SC.exe has commited a fatal error and will be shut down. If the program persists, contact the program vendor.

Unfoo has logged on at 5:46 PM.
Unfoo: You are quite clever, Fooruman. I didn't expect you to live and get this far.
Unfoo: But you'll NEVER stop my ebil plan! >=D
Unfoo: *insert evil laughter here*
Unfoo has logged off at 5:49 PM.

The computer short circuits, sending sparks everywhere. Fooruman pulls you back just seconds before the console explodes, sending computer guts and plastic everywhere. You all get back up to your feet (Leetzan stands on her tail), and look at the wreckage. The computer is blown to bits, leaving a large scorch mark on the door. Not surprisingly, the door doesn't even have a dent in it.

The CD Player Guy swaps out Star Wars Episode I for Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, playing the sound the game makes when you open a door, solve a puzzle, find a secret, etc. as the security door opens. The tune then changes to the Lost Woods theme as the door opens into a hallway leading into another room. What do you do now?

[cooba]

Enter the Egam Maze.
List Fooruman's spells.

[Torkell]

BOGGY WINS THE COOKIE JAR! =D
Yay!
The tune then changes to the Lost Woods theme as the door opens into a hallway leading into another room. What do you do now?
Follow the sound of the music...

If you can't follow the sound of the music, then I think it goes right, left, right, left, forward, left, right.

[Lem_Gambino]

Fooruman's spells:
-Invert Lens Color
-Disable Paper Springs
-Irish Ward
-Sulfur Ward
-Melt Rubber
-Break Screwdriver
-Damage Wooden Surface

You enter the hallway. As you walk, the brick color changes from a steel gray to a rusty red, and it seems to get hotter as you walk. Suddenly, you turn around and run into the CD Player Guy, thinking that this is really the Lost Woods from Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.
"Nice try," he says. You continue down the path, and are about to reach the maze when a ghostly figure appears in front of you! It scares you out of your socks (if you had socks on, that is) and causes Fooruman to faint. Leetzan helps him up as you take a closer look at the figure. It's none other than Pandora, the woman you met back the tavern. She still lookks as ghostly as ever, but she has a smirk on her face. Whether she wants to help you or harm you is unknown, but the CD Player Guy says, "Hey! This isn't in my master's plan to rule the world!"
Pandora turns to him. "You can tell your boss that he's pretty much sporked now. We need some private time to discuss things," she says.
The music is still playing, but this time it's Zelda's theme from Ocarina of Time. "It's been a while," she says. "How are you and Fooruman doing?"

[Torkell]

So... we're going to find out that Gannondorf is pledging alligeance to the King of Hyrule, when in fact he plans to take over Hyrule, do the usual rape, pillage & burn, get the Triforce, and generally do what every evil bad guy wants to do (i.e. rule the world). Right? :D

[Lem_Gambino]

Are you saying that to Pandora?

Ganondorf* =P

[Xion]

Say: "Pandora, do you know where Uberbob and the rest of them are? Also, do you have an idea on how to get Araches out of the underground tunnel? She would be very helpful about now..."

[Lem_Gambino]

"No, but I have a feeling you'll be seeing them very soon," she replies confidently.

If you land on this page, it'll be $35 rent. In other words, I clam this pag! XD

[Torkell]

Are you saying that to Pandora?
Might as well :D

[Xion]

Say: "Well, what have you been up to? Been dead still?"

[Lem_Gambino]

Pandora raises an eyebrow. "I know nothing of this 'Ganondorf' you speak of, but he certainly isn't the main bad guy here," she says.
"Well, what have you been up to? Been dead still?" you ask her.
"I'm not 'dead,'" she says irritably. "As I have have told you before, my soul and body have been separted from each other by Unfooruman." She smiles wickedly. "I think it's time for some payback for what he did. Will you help me?"

[cooba]

"Sure, come with us."

[Lem_Gambino]

"That's...not exactly what I had in mind," she begins. "I have no special powers whatsoever, except to make hard-to-solve puzzles, and being a ghost makes me susceptable to exorcism and soul-eating, that sort of thing."
"I WILL however, give you this." She reaches into her pocket, and takes out a pair of goggles that are of the hi-tech persuasion(sp?). "These are my special goggles; Pandora's Goggles, if you will. They were supposed to be a part of my puzzle back on Spinach Custard (which used to be my island), but one of Blackraptor's minion's took it. He came here to Unfoo's Fortress, but was captured and locked in the dungeons. He traied to escape, but George 5000, Unfoo's cyborg assassin, took him out. I guess Unfooruman didn't have any need for these, so they were left here, forgotten."
"I've managed to sneak in through one of the Employees' Only exits, but I'll have to wait until the CD Player Guy comes back so I can sneak back out. I think he's afraid of ghosts or something...oh well."
"Anyway, these goggles, when used with the 'Scan' command, will reveal detailed information on certain objects or living beings in the area. Things you've already scanned are green, things that have not yet been scanned are either blue or red. I haven't updated this in a long time, but there's a USB attachment for logging onto the net. And don't think that everything can be scanned; There are some things man (or in your case, anthros) were never ment to learn."
She hands the goggles to you. "Take good care of those, or I'll have to haunt you and stuff. Good luck on beating Unfooruman, you'll need it..." she says with a mischievous grin on her face.

Inventory:
-Pandora's Goggles
-Black Armor
-Katana
-Druid's Robe
-Wizard's Hat
-Wizard's Robe
-Wizard's Sux Staff
-Yellow Contact Lens x1
-Whip of Beating +9

Fooruman's Spells:
-Melt Screwdriver
-Melt Rubber
-Disable Paper Spring
-Invert Lens Color
-Sulfur Ward
-Irish Ward
-Damage Wooden Surface

Shuri's Spells:
-Haste: Makes you move faster.
-Bless: Unknown effect. Ask Rad =P

Leetzan's Spells:
-Summon Enchantresphere: A creature with usful spells.
-Summon Mythslayer: A warrior who is adept in slaying mythical creatures.
-Summon Soap: A deadlyful cleaning projectile.
-Summon Rusty Iron Bat: Nigh-useless piece of sports equipment.

If I forgot any spells, lemme know.

[NinJazz]

If evrryone is willing, Ninjajazz gives ninja Sword to sumbody who wants it

[Lem_Gambino]

9_9

Nobody wants teh Ninja Sword. Ninjajazz is DELETED! *buzz*

You're standing in the hallway between Mary's Room and the Egam Maz, whatever that is. Somewhere behind you is a security door that was rendered useless when Unfooruman explodied the computer control panel. You are Shuri, a ninja-like warrior. Your comrades are Leetzan, uber-1337 |-|4x0r and and summoner, and Fooruman, a master of Sux Magic with a somewhat unstable mind. You're trying to find your other friends, Uberbob, Araches, and Faw, as well as finding a way to defeat the ebil Unfooruman. What do you want to do now?

[cooba]

...like I said, ENTER THE MAZE.

[Torkell]

"Anyway, these goggles, when used with the 'Scan' command, will reveal detailed information on certain objects or living beings in the area. Things you've already scanned are green, things that have not yet been scanned are either blue or red..."
Someone's been playing Metroid Prime...

I notice that the mystery of George5k has now been revealed... this looks to be fun!

<s>Oh yeah, what Cooba said (enter the reversed Mage Maze).</s>
New idea: stick the goggles on and scan everything in sight

[Lem_Gambino]

Aight.

You walk down the hallway and enter what is supposedly the Egam maze you saw on the map. As you enter the first room, you see that the room doesn't look like a room at all; Rather, the "room" opens up into an expansive volcanic wasteland, where the clouds are gray with smoke, ash, and sulfur. In the distance, you can see an active volcano, continuously spewing lava into the lava flow that surrounds you.
You are standing on an islands in the middle of said lava flow. Ash kicks up from your feet as you step onto the (thankfully) stable landmass. The door slams behind you, but it doesn't lock. You are surprised that the door is floating there, just inches off the ground, seemingly supported by magic or an illusion. (think of the doors from Monsters Inc. if you are having trouble with your imagination XD). There are eight doors in total on this island, each set up so they are pointing towards each of the compass points. Sadly, there is no door pointing towards Dennis. In the center of the room, there is a cloaked person wandering around, seemingly deep in thought, although it's hard to tell since his hood covers his face. It doesn't seem that he has noticed you yet.
The CD Player Guy pops up through a trapdoor in the ground, Death Mountain theme playing loud and clear. What do you wish to do?

BoggyB: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, actually. The Demo. I can't seem to get past those Ing though =P

[cooba]

Talk to the mage.

[Lem_Gambino]

What do you wish to say to him?

[cooba]

"hi2u"

[Lem_Gambino]

"hi2u =D" you say to the man. You even did a perfect smiley unintentionally. "Goodbi(-2)me D=," he replies.

Edit: forgot teh tags D=

[Torkell]

BoggyB: Metroid Prime 2: Echoes, actually. The Demo. I can't seem to get past those Ing though =P
I didn't think Nintendo did demos. Where can you get hold of it from?


Action: scan everything.

[Xion]

use: goggles: Mage

[NinJazz]

Ninjajazz raises from that stinking swamp and shouts sumthing, you decide what...

[cooba]

Analyze mage.

[Lem_Gambino]

BoggyB: I got as a premium from (Re)Subcribing to Nintendo Power. You can also get it if you buy a Gambecube- It comes with a copy of Metroid Prime and the bonus disk.

MY POST 500! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!!! >=D

You scan the person you assume is a mage with Pandora's Goggles.

Scan complete.
WARNING: Limited data file on "Egam."

Egams are...cult...everything...opposite...

END FILE. JOO NEED 2 UPGRADE, FOO. D=