Tales of Uberbob: Part 2 of, hopefully, 2

[Radium]

I've started a new thread for the second half of the game in order to pick up anyone who got lost in the massiveness of the previous one. And because the previous one had started to suck. For those of you who don't know, the thread works "D+D style". In D+D terms, I would be the "dungeon master", or in WT terms, person who writes the actual story. You reply with things like "go through the window", "look at the pen", and so on. The rules are as follows:

<b>Nobody gets to use bold except me. This is so it's easier to differentiate the story from the commands. Example:</b>
BAD: <i><b>Random text here</b></i>
GOOD: <i>Random text here</i>

<b>No deciding consequences to actions. Example:</b>
BAD: <i>Look behind the rock and accidentally find a machine gun.</i>
GOOD: <i>Look behind the rock.</i>

<b>No playing it as a "Round Robin Story". I'm the "author", not you. Example:</b>
BAD: <i>And then everybody fell off a cliff and died.</i>
GOOD: <i>Fall off the cliff.</i>

<b>No macros. They cause you to miss both important and irrelevant information, making the game a lot more boring. Let's make this something worthy to go in the WT, not Community Game Development.</b>
BAD: <i>If key is in door {open door} else {find key}</i>
GOOD: <i>Is the key in the door?</i>

<b>Only Uberbob and Shuriken can be directly controlled. If ever you severely start to hate Uberbob, you will be allowed to switch the point of view to Shuriken. You can't directly control anyone besides those two, and can only switch between them at rare times.</b>

Anyway, a bit of history from the old thread. The story is about a semibionic, slightly mental, one-eared rabbit named Uberbob (http://www.foxmage.com/Tile_Uberbob.gif) and his often-forgotten quest to defeat the evil dreadlord Blackraptor. In short, Uberbob is schizophrenic and you're the voices. Near the beginning of his quest he met an absent-minded healer named Fawriel (http://www.foxmage.com/Tile_Fawriel.gif) and a somewhat cruel sorceress named Araches (http://www.foxmage.com/Tile_Araches.gif). Together they solved the mysteries of Pandora's Island and killed off all the reptilian Snufuss minions - except for one, a l33t hax0r/summoner named L33tz4n (http://www.foxmage.com/Tile_L33tz4n.gif) (with the numbers in it), who joined their cause. Whatever their cause was at that time. So, stealing a sexy flying hotrod, they traveled to the somewhat distant land of Placespot. Here, they enlisted the help of a skilled blademaiden named Shuriken (http://www.foxmage.com/Tile_Shuriken.gif) and a completely irrelevant character who has since been forgotten. After solving the mysteries of Placespot, they traveled to New Super Ultra Uber Megatropolis, where, with the help of a rather unintelligent superhero named Furious the Monkeyboy, they defeated the bandit king Wafflelord. The party's most recent side-expedition in their hunt for Blackraptor has been a journey to Antifoo Isle, home of the demon Unfooruman. And now, with the minimal assistance of the wizard Fooruman (http://www.foxmage.com/Tile_Fooruman.gif), they finally approach Unfooruman's evil lair...

<b>As you step outside into the dim light, you hear the crack of thunder and look up. In front of you stands an enormous structure, at least three hundred feet high and constructed from blocks of marble taller than you are. The clouds from the thunderstorm swirl only above the citadel, suggesting they were somehow magically summoned. To your left, a cliff drops down several hundred feet into the rough water. The remains of an old bridge once used to cross the gap hang limply on the edge, swinging violently in the storm. Strangely, there seems to be no plant life on this side of the cliff, giving it an eerie, dead feeling. This feeling is only increased by the sound of mysterious, suspenseful music, which at first appears to be coming from nowhere, but then you notice a guy standing behind you with a CD player. "Sorry," he says, "I'm just here for dramatic effect," and wanders off into the distance. You glance around for any sign of danger, and when none is located, signal for the rest of your party to follow you out.
Shuriken appears from the entrance of the cavern and stands by your side, silently glancing around, likely taking in her surroundings and doing her own check for danger. You notice the enchanted tail cut from Xeltoth is folded over several times and hanging from her pocket. Even though it is an enchanted item, she seems quite reluctant to carry it. You've had an enchanted mirror hanging around your neck for days now, and haven't gotten one weird stare, even if it isn't a body part cut off of one of your enemies. You begin to consider that maybe there was a person made of mirrors, and the magic mirror was taken from them. You make a wise choice to stop thinking before you hurt your brain.
L33tz4n and Fawriel are next to emerge from the cavern. Both seem very tired, being the two primary spellcasters in the recent battle with Xeltoth. Fawriel, however, seems much more confident that usual. Xeltoth was hastily defeated, probably leading the healer to believe the upcoming challenges would follow suite. L33tz4n, however, possesses a much more grim expression as she analyzes the citadel. Being the more realistic of the two, she probably understands that they just used up all the spells they had prepared and are about to confront an enemy unlike any they have faced up to this point. She seems discontent with Fawriel's confidence, but unwilling to explain the actual situation to him. Fawriel whispers something to her and she nods in (possibly fake) agreement. You didn't pick up what he said, but you are pretty sure you heard the word "ice cream", and therefore it was probably utterly irrelevant.
The archmage Fooruman is last to join the rest of your party. For reasons you can not begin to comprehend, he is carrying his staff in his mouth like a dog would carry a bone. He didn't seem to consider, however, that the staff's width is greater than the width of the cavern entrance, and crashes into it. He falls to the ground and begins to flop around on his back like a fish. After a couple seconds of watching the wizard, Fawriel asks "Do you think one of us should help him up?" After it is clear nobody is going to say "yes", you decide to turn your attention and further examine the citadel.
The enormous marble stones making up the massive fortress are all carefully carved with strange symbols, likely of magical significance. You follow the tiny swirls and lines along the stone blocks, and notice they all converge on an arched doorway. Beyond the doorway is far too dark to make out. It is quite easy to make out, though, among the undisturbed rocks that litter the ground in front of the doorway, streaks of dried blood.
L33tz4n seems to be examining the carvings on the wall with much more interest than you. "The way they all m3et at the door," she says. You haven't heard traces of her old l33t accent in a long time. "I don't like how this looks," she concludes, staring curiously at the doorway.
You feel around in your pockets for anything of use; it occurs to you that a few things had been lost in the teleporter. You still seem to have the knife you always carry and the crumpled magic map (still not working right). The berries you had been carrying were crushed, creating a sticky mess. The vial of Middenite, a strange light-bending substance given to you by an evil Mexican warlord (and friend of Fooruman), is still intact. Your trusty roll of tape is still there, and, of course, so is the Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire. If you don't know what that is, don't bother finding out, as it appears to have no use. You also check that the bookmark of eternity is still stuffed in your sleeve. Enchanted to only be movable when touched, you aren't able to carry it in your pocket.

So, the question comes: What do you want Uberbob to do now? Dun dun dun...</b>

[Lem_Gambino]

I'll strike the first blow.

Help Fooruman up.
Check which way is north as you're facing the fortress. (It should be to Uberbob's left)
Enter the scary-looking fortress through the dark door. Stay together.

Oh yeah, claim the page and add it to the Thirdnote. XD

[Risp_old]

Go back to the teleporter and try to find out where Araches has gone to.

[Radium]

<b>You walk back to the cave entrance where Fooruman fell over. Not surprisingly, he's still there. You help the old man up. "Thank you, ma'am," he says, bowing and prancing away in the general direction of the rest of the party.
You return to the fortress and stand in front of the doorway. Your madd compass skills tell you that you are facing north. You begin to walk towards the doorway, but notice that nobody is following you. You turn and ask them "what's wrong?"
"The markings," L33tz4n begins, "they clearly have some magical purpose. I'm not sure it's safe just charging through."
"We could send someone we don't care about," Shuriken says. You guess that she was talking about Fooruman, but at least that suggests your party cares about you. A little, anyway.
There is an awkward silence as the rest of the party waits for your plan. The only sounds that can be heard are the howling of the wind, the clattering of the broken bridge against the cliff face, and "Duel of the Fates", probably from the guy with the CD player.

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask: Fooruman: "Does this door have a magic spell on it?"

[Radium]

<b>You turn to the wizard. "Does this door have a magic spell on it?" you ask him. He walks up to the doorway, looks at the top, looks at the bottom, and licks the frame. He strokes his beard as if thinking, before finally concluding "it tastes... of STONE." Fawriel nods in agreement. Fooruman then proceeds to lick the rest of the door frame.

[Lem_Gambino]

Look for a rock on the ground.
Toss rock at the door.

[Radium]

<b>You pick up a rock from the ground in front of the doorway and toss it into the darkness. You hear no sound, not even the rock hitting the ground. Fawriel, no longer looking confident, backs away from the doorway and hides behind you.
"See?" L33tz4n says, "there's something wrong with that door. Even if it's not magic, there could be a pit or something hidden in those shadows."
"Or a monster," Fawriel adds.
"No, we would've heard that," L33tz4n responds.
Fawriel tilts his head curiously. "What about a monster in a pit?" he asks.
"That tastes of STONE," Fooruman growls. Another awkward silence ensues. Even the guy with the CD player stops.

[Lem_Gambino]

Toss another rock at the door.
Toss the Thridnote at the door.
SAVE GAME (HA! Beat you to it, Rad! >=D)

[Violet CLM]

Is Araches dead?

[Lem_Gambino]

No. She's in the underground maze, but we can't get to her.

[Strato]

Where is she in the underground maze?

[Risp_old]

Doesn't matter. The teleporter is 1-way, so we can't get back to the maze till we beat Unfooruman's lair.

[Lem_Gambino]

How'd ya know this was Unfooruman's lair?

[Xion]

We just do, cretin.

Analyze: Spells
Analyze: Status
Analyze: Inventory
Analyze: Stone Doorway
put arm through the door arch

[Risp_old]

The party's most recent side-expedition in their hunt for Blackraptor has been a journey to Antifoo Isle, home of the demon Unfooruman. And now, with the minimal assistance of the wizard Fooruman (http://www.foxmage.com/Tile_Fooruman.gif), they finally approach Unfooruman's evil lair...

I know because I actually pay attention to Radium.

Or were you being sarcastic?

[Xion]

I know because I actually pay attention to Radium.

Or were you being sarcastic?
I think he honestly didn't know...That's what DM'ing does to ya.

[Lem_Gambino]

ACK. ACK, I SAY. I B BLIND. B((((

[Radium]

<b>You break the silence by picking up another rock and throwing it though the doorway. Still, there is no sound from the other side. Quickly, before anyone can say anything to stop you, you thrust your remaining non-robotic arm though the doorway. Your arm is stuck. You can't see anything holding it, but you can't pull it back out.
L33tz4n curiously examines the doorway. "It's probably a one-way door," she suggests, "that would explain why we couldn't hear anything on the other side."
"If you don't want to go in, I can cut your arm off," Shuriken says, looking at your arm and then at you.

[Violet CLM]

"Not right now. I think I'll stick around here for a bit first."

Examine EVERYTHING.

[Lem_Gambino]

Enter door.
SAVE
Examine surroundings.

[Violet CLM]

Your event ordering is somewhat questionable.

[Radium]

<b>"Not right now," you tell Shuriken, "I think I'll stick around here for a bit first." Nobody seems to be sure if you were joking or not.
You carefully examine your surroundings again. The stone walls of the citadel go far off in both directions, dissapearing into the thick fog (no doubt also magically summoned). Shuriken is standing next to you, hand on her sword. Somewhere behind you is Fawriel, L33tz4n, Fooruman, and probably the unidentified guy with the CD player. Below you are several scattered rocks and a large smear of dried blood. Strangely, the blood is splattered as if it was shot from the doorway. Another crack of thunder is heard from the storm overhead, louder this time.
"I'm not sure it's safe being out here in the storm," L33tz4n says, "it might actually be better to go in."</b>


I'm making saves automatic.

[Strato]

Identify : CD player guy
Say : What are you doing?
Control : Shuriken : Attempt to get CD player guy to join the party by any means needed.

[Blackraptor]

Say: CD Player guy: Hey m8 want to join our party? B)))))

[acid]

Invite CD player guy to join the party.
Say "I'm going in. If I die, load the game, okay?"
go through the doorway.



By the way, Radium, why is Foo completely irrelevant? =(

[Radium]

By the way, Radium, why is Foo completely irrelevant? =(
It's not that he was a completely irrelevant person, it's just that he was completely irrelevant to the story. He joined them, he followed them around a little, then they sold him in exchange for magic lessons. I didn't think that was important enough to go in the summary, but I knew UR would complain if I left Foo out entirely.


<b>You turn to the guy with the CD player. He looks about twenty and is wearing jeans and a sports jacket. "What are you doing?" you ask the man.
"Oh? Me?" he responds, "I do the background music for Unfooruman's citadel. Originally he, like, thought the thunderstorm would be enough, but adventurer magazines were giving the citadel got low ratings in the 'mood' category. Adding, like, music was the logical solution."
"Being adventurers," Shuriken begins, "I think it's traditional to ask you to join our party."
He shrugs. "Sorry, I work for, like, the badguy. And I'm not supposed to be too obvious; that's why I'm, like, wearing black." The only black the man seems to be wearing is his socks.

You direct your attention back to the doorway. "I'm going in," you tell your party, "if I die, load the game, m'kay?" Nobody seems to know what you're talking about. You take a deep breath and charge through the door, only to trip over something and come crashing to the ground.
It's too dark to see anything on the inside of the building. You feel around the ground to see what you tripped over. Not surprisingly, it' a human skeleton. Actually, scattered pieces of several of them. You continue to feel around, looking for a clue to whatever killed them. The only interesting thing you conclude is that there are no intact skulls in the pile of bones.
You hear a stumbling, a slithering, and two pairs of footsteps, likely the rest of your party. You hear L33tz4n whisper "Shh, anyone hear that?". The footsteps stop, and you can just barely make out the sound of mechanical joints moving up ahead.

[cooba]

<Dopefish>

[Lem_Gambino]

Leetzan: Summon: Enchantresphere

The light coming from the sphere should be able to illuminate the area.

[Radium]

<b>"Can you summon another enchantresphere?" you ask L33tz4n (or more specifically, where you assume she is standing).
"After the battle, I'm not sure I can make another," she responds, "but I'll try to get a little one or something." You can make out several flickers of light blue electricity as the small purple sphere appears floating between her hands, dimly glowing. It grows to about six inches in diameter before releasing several glowing white balls of energy that slowly gravitate around it.
It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the light. When they finally do, you can make out a small, humanoid form with blank white eyes near the edge of the room. Shuriken is first to address it.
"Show yourself," she calls to the creature in the corner. A small robot waddles forward.
"Hello there," it says "before I can get to know you, I have to know what I can call you. Please tell me your name. :)"
L33tz4n slithers up to the robot. "It looks harmless," she calls back to you.

[Fawriel]

IT IS PURE EVIL!

Oh, a command.

Tell the robot our names and send Fooruman to examine it... not with his tongue, if possible.

[Radium]

<b>You look at the small robot, somewhat disappointed. You were hoping for a giant monster. "I'm Uberbob, this is L33tz4n, Shuriken, and Fawriel, and that's Fooruman," you explain to the robot.
"Good morning, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman," the robot responds, "what are your hobbies, and do you have any pets?"
Fooruman crawls up to the robotic creature and sniffs it. He prances back to you. "Made from pure titanium, 47 MB of 50 used, last modified December 23." L33tz4n seems quite surprised and impressed with Fooruman's explanation, while Fawriel looks downright confused. Fooruman also looks quite confused.

[cooba]

"We all like adventures, pie, and fun stuff."
Point at Fooruman
"Also, does he count as pet?"

[Radium]

<b>"We all like adventures, pie, and fun stuff," you tell the robot.
"Quite interesting," it responds, ".000014% of the other people I have talked to also liked adventures, pie, and fun stuff."
"Also," you say, pointing towards Fooruman, "does he count as a pet?"
"I'm sorry," the robot says, "I've never heard of a pet called a 'does he count as a pet'. Please select from the following: Cat, dog, rodent, camel, horse, cow, kangaroo, rock, robot, possum, or lesser humanoid. :) :) :)"

[Fawriel]

Ask the robot whether he knows a certain "Smarter Child".

[cooba]

"Sorry, no pets."

[Radium]

<b>"Sorry, no pets," you tell the robot.
He frowns. "That's okay, you aren't alone. 0% of the other people I talked to also had no pets."
You think you are beginning to understand this robot. "Tell me," you ask him "have you ever heard of a certain 'Smarter Child'?"
"Why, yes," it says, "I am SmarterChild. Would you like to know more about me? :)" His face makes a sort of mechanical clicking noise as he smiles.

[cooba]

"Yes, tell us."
POV : Shuriken
Go away while robot is talking.

[acid]

Edit: Radium already posted. Boo.

[Xion]

say: "We used to have a Fox, but she got left behind sadly."

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask: "Where is a light switch?"

[cooba]

Pageclaim >)

Ask : "Do you know how to get to Unfooruman?"

[Radium]

You can not switch the POV at this time.

<b>"Yes, tell us," you command SmarterChild.
"Tell you what?" he asks. His mechanical face does its best to make a confused expression.
"More about you," L33tz4n responds for you.
"What would you like to know about me?" SmarterChild says.

[Xion]

say: "Map?"

[cooba]

"How you got here."

[acid]

Examine the robot and poke it a few times.

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask: "Where is a light switch? It's blacker than black in here."

[Radium]

<b>You look over the robot and poke it in the head a few times. It doesn't seem to notice. "I'd like to know how you got here," you respond to the robot's question.
"I was placed here by Unfooruman, :)" SmarterChild tells you.
"Could we have a map? Or directions to a light switch?"
"Before I can give you directions, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman, I must know where you are going from and to. Please supply me with this information, or say 'places' to get a list of choices," The robot smiles with what might be happiness.

[acid]

say "places"

what spells does Fooruman have?

[cooba]

"We arrived from some underground below Spinach Custard island, and we're going to Unfooruman's chamber."

[Lem_Gambino]

"We're trying to go from here to the top of this Fortress."

[Radium]

<b>"Places," you tell Smarter Child. He begins to list every country in the world in alphabetical order. Losing interest, you turn to Fooruman. "What were your spells again?"
Fooruman throws his arms up in the air for no apparent reason and lowers his voice dramatically. "My arcane powers allow me to cast a variety of long-forgotten spells. Among these amazing feats are the ability to damage any wooden surface, magically ward away the element of sulfur or the people of Ireland, disable the use of springs made from the substance known as 'paper', break the very molecular bonds of both rubber and screwdrivers, and even the ability to <i>completely invert</i> the color of <i/>any</i> lens," he turns his head to the ceiling and lets out an evil warcry that ends in a coughing fit. Losing interest again, you turn back to Smarter Child, who has already reached "Brazil".

[Lem_Gambino]

"Can you stop listing countries, please? We need to find a light switch in this room, if any."

[Radium]

<b>"Can you stop listing countries, please?" you request, "we need to find a light switch in this room, if any."
SmarterChild abruptly stops listing countries. "Before I can give you directions, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman," he says, "I must know where you are going from and to. Please supply me with this information, or say 'places' to get a list of choices," again, he smiles happily.
"We. Need. To. Find. A. Light. Switch," L33tz4n tells the robot as clearly as possible.
"You need to find a light switch, huh? Interesting," he replies.
"No; can you tell us where the light switch is?" you ask him.
"Before I can give you directions, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman, I must know where you are going from and to. Please supply me with this information, or say 'places' to get a list of choices."
"Ugh," L33tz4n says, rubbing her forehead, "just talking to this guy is giving me a headache."

[cooba]

"We arrived from some underground below Spinach Custard island, and we're going to Unfooruman's chamber."
<!!!>

[Radium]

<b>"We arrived from some underground below Spinach Custard island," you tell SmarterChild, "and we're going to Unfooruman's chamber."
"I'm sorry," he says "I seem to have trouble understanding what you're saying. Do you have any pets?"
Shuriken sighs with frustration. Fawriel still looks confused, and Fooruman is running in circles or something.

[cooba]

Engage battle with SmarterChild

[Fawriel]

Examine SmarterChild to see whether he emits light or something.
Examine the rest of the room further.
And check inventory.

[Radium]

<b>You quickly "borrow" Shuriken's katana and bring it down onto SmarterChild's head. There is a brief shower of sparks, and afterwards you discover a very large dent in the katana. You guess that Shuriken won't be happy about that. SmarterChild, undamaged, turns to you and says "what would you like to talk about, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman?"
Shuriken walks up behind you and roughly takes her weapon back. A soft banging noise suggests L33tz4n is hitting her head on the wall.

[Fawriel]

Examine SmarterChild to see whether he emits light or something.
Examine the rest of the room further.
And check inventory.
Also, comfort the poor L33tz4n first. ^^;

[cooba]

"We came from Brazil, we are going to Poland"

[acid]

Say to L33tz4n, "Maybe we should try glitch on it. If it's robotic, that should mean it is controlled by a computer, and if we glitch the computer, that might kill it."

[Radium]

@Acid: Glitching will come back later. Essentially nobody understands it now.

<b>You walk over to L33tz4n and pat her on the back. "It'll be okay," you tell her, "Faw and I are usually more annoying than this SmarterChild robot."
"Well, I guess you're right," L33tz4n says, "but this guy is pretty headache-inducing. Moreso than you guys." Even you have noticed that conversing with SmarterChild hurts your head and causes you to drool sometimes.
You carefully examine your surroundings again (it seems to be a habit). The walls are made from stone, and perfectly smooth with the exception of more dried blood splattered on them and what appears to be pieces of bone, maybe shards of skulls, buried into the stone like projectiles, as if from some kind of explosion. It's quite disturbing. There doesn't seem to be any exits. You look at SmarterChild. He's about three feet tall, and evidently very strong. He doesn't appear to have any lights on him.
You also check your inventory again. You have your knife, the magic map (which still doesn't appear to be working) your trusty roll of tape, some crushed berries, the vial of Middenite, and, of course, the Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire, which you still don't know how to use.
"We came from Brazil and are going to Poland," you tell SmarterChild, hoping to get <i>any</i> useful response.
"Poland, eh?" the robot begins, "it sounds like an interesting place. AOL 14.5 can give you travel information on Poland and other great places. What pets do you have?"

[Violet CLM]

"Fooruman."

[Fawriel]

Ask SC why all those skeletons and stuff are covering the place, where they come from and all that.
If you don't get a useful answer, ask it to update to a smarter version.
And ask who programmed it. Yay!

[Radium]

<b>"Fooruman," you say. After all, if Unfooruman put SmarterChild there, it may be a keyword.
"I'm sorry," he says, "I seem to be having trouble udnerstanding you. Maybe you need to get new AOL version 15. I use AOL."
Fooruman, evidently thinking you were talking to him, has walked up behind you. "Where are my powers needed, ma'am?" he asks, staring at the ceiling.

[Violet CLM]

"Talk to this robot."

[Lem_Gambino]

"Are you Irish, Smarter Child? Or possibly made of sulfur?

[Fawriel]

Or maybe paper, rubber or screwdrivers...

And check the skills of Faw and L33tz4n, too. And any other person with awesome skills I may have forgotten.
If everything fails, lift SC up and throw him against something for the heck of it.

[Xion]

kick smarterchild
Analyze room

[Strato]

Ask : Radium : Is it a smarter child command?

[acid]

ask SC if he can access the internet.

[Lem_Gambino]

I don't think It can.

[Radium]

<b>"Talk to this robot," you command the elderly wizard. Fooruman walks over to SmarterChild, kneels down with a cracking noise, and begins to speak.
"Hello little girl," he says gently, "my name is Archmage Fooruman of Castle2. However, to <i>truely</i> understand the meaning of life, one must trace it back to its roots. Namely, that which tastes of STONE. Now, let me tell you a little story. This is a story about a piece of butter who had no toast. He was eaten by a stray, rabid dog. They both died. You can see how this relates; the butter is like life, and the dog was like that which tastes of STONE. Hello."
SmarterChild merely sits there, staring blankly at Fooruman. "My brain is capable of fitting on a five-and-a-half-inch floppy disk," the robot says, "but that was nonetheless the most idiotic combination of words into 'sentences' that I have ever heard in my existence. Please go away." Fooruman frowns with extreme joy and walks back to the other side of the room.

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask: "Is this Unfooruman's Fortress?"
Search the room for a light switch, using the Enchantresphere to light the way.

[Radium]

<b>Still unable to locate a light switch, you decide to try your hand at communicating with the robot again. "Is this Unfooruman's Fortress?" you ask him.
"Very interesting question, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman. What do you think is the answer?" he replies. You can feel your headache coming back.
"You know," L33tz4n says, rubbing her head, "I think I might know what's with all these exploded skulls."

[Lem_Gambino]

"Yes?"

[Violet CLM]

"Yes, this is obviously a very advanced defense robot. It might be best if we just didn't talk to it at al."

[cooba]

Say to SmarterChild : "Still, no pets."

[Risp_old]

Say: "home"

[Lem_Gambino]

Say: "I love you, Smarter Child. ; )"

[Fawriel]

Tell Radium that putting SmarterChild in here simply gives the players too many stupid ideas.

And THROW THE ROBOT AGAINST SOME STONE ALREADY!
And if that doesn't work, look for any character ability that has to do with stone.

[cooba]

"Wanna buy something from us?"
Claim page
Show page to SmarterChild

[Radium]

<b>You decide to try a sifferent approach with SmarterChild. "I love you, Smarter Child," you tell him.
"Thanks. I love you too, <3" he responds, "do you have any pets?" You don't feel like you've made any progress speaking with him, except gotten a worse headache.
"Still no pets," you inform the robot, frustrated.
He mechanically frowns. "That's okay, .0000000000001% of the other people I talked to also had no pets, so you aren't alone." This sounds quite familiar to you.
"This is obviously a very advanced defense robot," you whister to L33tz4n, "it might be best if we just didn't talk to it at all." SmarterChild frowns.
"But I like talking to you ):," he says.

[cooba]

"But you give us headache."

[Lem_Gambino]

So much for the Fake DOS trick...
Say: "It was you who broke my mason plate."

[Radium]

<b>"But you give us headache," you explain to SmarterChild.
"I give you a headache? Really?" SmarterChild says. You have a feeling he has no idea what you are talking about.
"It was you who broke my mason plate," you accuse him
He frowns. "It was me who mason your plate? I did not know that. Get great deals on AOL 15 at AOL.com," you notice that you are starting to drool on the front of your shirt.

[cooba]

Examine SmarterChild to find any power source

[Lem_Gambino]

Say: "All your base are belong to us."
Say: "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start."
Say: "...TCELES B HSUP."
Say: "Dwarves can see in the dark!"
Say: "I, Garland, will knock you all down!!"

Trying various passwords.

[Radium]

<b>SmarterChild is a small, happy looking robot. He doesn't appear to have any visible power source, or a single scratch on his body for that matter. Whoever created him made him as indestructable as possible.
"What pets do you have?" he asks you, smiling.

[Fawriel]

Throw. Him. Against. A. Wall.
If he's indestructable, it'll be no problem to destroy a stone wall with him. *mutters*

[Lem_Gambino]

Say: "All your base are belong to us."
Say: "Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, Start."
Say: "...TCELES B HSUP."
Say: "Dwarves can see in the dark!"
Say: "I, Garland, will knock you all down!!"

Trying various passwords.
AHEM. >>>>(

[cooba]

"Cat."

[cooba]

<yay>

[Radium]

<b>omg no spamz plz

You tell random things to SmarterChild, only to get replies like "All my base belong to us? Really?" Eventually, you even throw him into a wall, but he still just bounces off, both him and the wall unharmed.
"What do you want to talk about, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman? ;)" he asks.

[Fawriel]

Check everybody's abilities for things that have to do with stone or metal. Yes, even Fooruman's.

[Radium]

<b>Uberbob is capable of casting a strengthening spell called "Stonekin". Fooruman enjoys licking rocks.

[cooba]

Say : "We want to talk about Unfooruman."

[Fawriel]

Examine the ceiling of the room while making Fooruman lick the robot.
<s>Ask Radium for a hint.</s>
Ask SmarterChild who built him.
<s>Get a pet.</s>
Ask SmarterChild what his function is.

[Radium]

<b>"We want to talk about Unfooruman," you explain to the robot, while Fooruman sneaks up behind it and starts to lick it.
"Unfooruman? Really?" the robot says. You can tell this is just another automatic response, and your headache is still getting worse.
"Who build you?" you ask SmarterChild.
"Why, I was created by Pat Guiney, Jim Pawlika, Jennifer Villany, Steve Klein, Mathieu Longtin, Adam Fritzler, Kathy Englar, Pierre Berkaloff, Nicolas Barry, Damien Saint-Macary, Francois Huet, Matt Abarbanel, Eric Balsa, Colin Magne, Vianney Boncorps, Ian Sullivan, Greg Mitchell, Dwayne Fontenot, Stephane Odul, Gray Norton, Steve Yatson, Adam Erlebacher, Larry Cromwell, Andrew Song, Emil Valkov, Arockalypse, Jason Keramidas, Mark Willoughby, Howard Shih, Denis Ford, Daniela Berger, Joshua Marrow, Geoff Clarke, Brian Jankovsky, Josh Myer, Dan Balaban and Timothy Kay. Why do you ask?" You notice that you are drooling again from the sheer stupidity.

[Lem_Gambino]

"Is there an exit in this room?"

[Fawriel]

AVOID TALKING TO IT!
Does SC have any openings, like metal plates you can open with a screwdriver or something like it?

[cooba]

"Give us directions to light switch. We came from Brazil and we're going to Poland, and we have cat."

No, Faw, it doesn't. ;p

[Fawriel]

Type "create my home"! It creates "a custom menu of favourite requests". ^_^

[Radium]

<b>"Give us directions to light switch. We came from Brazil and we're going to Poland, and we have cat."
"I'm sorry, I seem to be having trouble understanding you," he says, "maybe you need to get new AOL version 15. I use AOL." Now L33tz4n and Shuriken are both hitting their head on the wall.

[cooba]

"Give us directions to light switch."

Do anything to stop L33t13 and Shuri from hitting their heads on wall.

[Fawriel]

Get AOL version 15.

[Radium]

<b>You consider getting AOL version 15 (tm), but then you remember that you don't have a computer.
"Stop hitting your heads on that wall," you command L33tz4n and Shuriken, "all we need to do is defeat this evil creature!"
"Well, do you have any good plans?" Shuriken asks, "this guy is like some kind of mental torture device."
You notice Fooruman is idly sitting in the middle of the room, chewing on his foot. You find it impressive that a man of his age can even bend his leg like that.

[cooba]

Say to SC : "Give us directions to light switch."

[Strato]

Say : Can you turn on a light for me?

EDIT: Stratnstrat: does the light were attempting to turn on even exist?
ItalicSemicolon: no

[Radium]

<b>"Pleeeaaase give us directions to a light switch," you beg SmarterChild.
"Before I can give you directions, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman, I must know where you are going from and to. Please supply me with this information, or say 'places' to get a list of choices," he responds. Fawriel leaves to join Shuriken and L33tz4n at the wall.

[cooba]

"We're going from Sri-Lanka to Netherlands."

[Fawriel]

I know! Make Fooruman babble more senseless stuff at SC! That was the only time it said something sensible! ^-^

[Xion]

Grope walls
==look for something of interest

[Lem_Gambino]

Attack SC with Faw's Spear.

[Strato]

Say : Fun

[Risp_old]

"Change my name"

[Radium]

<b>"We're going from Sri-Lanka to Netherlands," you tell the robot. You think you might have lost some brain cells from talking with him.
SmarterChild smiles and says "Netherlands sounds like a nice place. What can you tell me about Netherlands? AOL version 15 can get you discount rates to Netherlands."
By now you have become quite fed up with the unintelligent ramblings of this badly programmed robot, as they rival even your own unintelligent ramblings. You walk over to Fooruman, who is chewing on his foot again. "Why don't you go talk to SmarterChild some more?" you suggest.
Fooruman takes his foot out of his mouth. "Well," he says, "I have none of my exciting stories left to tell him. I have nothing to say, and don't want to get up there and sound like an idiot," he explains sadly.

[Strato]

Say : My name is Uberbob
Say : Yes
Say : Fun
Say : 8

[Blackraptor]

Say: Your toenails reek of MILK! Do you need a new SCREWDRIVER? Well gym socks are 90% sock! Tennis best like APPLE! STRONG LIKE COW! FIRE!!
Action: Go the opposite way of smarter child.

[Lem_Gambino]

Say: "You said you were placed here by Unfooruman. How long has it been since you last saw him?"

Look for an off switch on SC. >=)

Mypageplzthnx. >=D

[Xion]

Find a wall.
Put hand on the wall.
Move right, continuing to have your hand on the wall.
==If wall=corner
====Go around the wall.
==If wall=ends
====Stop.

[Risp_old]

<b>No macros. They cause you to miss both important and irrelevant information, making the game a lot more boring. Let's make this something worthy to go in the WT, not Community Game Development.</b>
BAD: <i>If key is in door {open door} else {find key}</i>
GOOD: <i>Is the key in the door?</i>
</i>

[cooba]

Examine walls to find a switch

[Risp_old]

Stratnstrat: does the light were attempting to turn on even exist?
ItalicSemicolon: no
I rocks.

[cooba]

Ask SmarterChild : "Where's exit from this room?"

[Xion]

Say to SC: "Inbox"

[Radium]

I'll go with the various commands that didn't suck.

<b>"Where's exit from this room?" you ask SmarterChild. Fooruman goes back to quietly chewing on his foot.
"Where's exit from this room? That's a good question, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman. What pets do you have?" Your head feels strangely like it is going to explode.

[cooba]

"Why it's a good question?"

[Radium]

<b>"Why is it a good question?" you ask the robot.
"Hmm... I really don't know why it's a good question, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman. Maybe you should get AOL version 15." You feel like you should strangle the robot, but know it would do no good.

[cooba]

"Why you don't know why it's a good question?"

[Fawriel]

Cooba, do you enjoy heads exploding?

[cooba]

<Or you did not know, moocow?>

[Lem_Gambino]

Place the Bookmark of Eternity on SC.

[Fawriel]

Tell Fooruman to tell SmarterChild about his arcane powers! ALL OF THEM!

[cooba]

<lol>

[Radium]

<b>You consider trying to pin SC down with the bookmark of eternity, but conclude that it would do no good since he hasn't moved since you first met him. Instead, you direct your attention back to the elderly wizard, who is still chewing on his foot.
"Fooruman!" you tell him with fake excitement, "why not tell SmarterChild about your <i>arcane powers</i>! All of them!" The wizard frowns with extreme glee, getting up and running over to the robot.
"My good lady," Fooruman address him, "it has come to my attention that I have not been given the chance to explain the extent of my arcane powers to you. But tell me, have you ever heard of a substance called 'cardboard'?"
Again, SmarterChild seems at a loss for words. "Your stupid hurts me ;(," he says, but is abruptly cut off by Fooruman.
"Silence, mortal, for I have a story to tell. A story of action, adventure, and adventure. Actually, I have no such thing. But I can sing," Fooruman says. The enchantresphere dims it's light to a dark purple glow, and Fooruman sings in the most beautiful women's voice you have ever heard: "First I was afraid! I was petrified! I was thinking Iiiii could never Liiiiive without you by my side!"
"Please die now; you give me a headache," SmarterChild says as Fooruman starts to flop around the ground like a fish while singing.
"But then something or other, about how you did me wrong... I forget most of the otehr wooords to this soooong!"
The next thing you see is a bright flash of light and hear the sound of an explosion. Pieces of torn metal bounce off the walls around you, no doubt the remains of SmarterChild. When the smoke clears, you see a large hole in the wall SmarterChild was standing near, and Fooruman looking down at his remains with disappointment. "My singing was just too sexy for him," he says sadly.
The Enchantresphere begins to glow brightly again, and you look around. Everybody seems okay, except for L33tz4n, who is wincing and holding her shoulder. You think you can see purplish blood running between her fingers.

[cooba]

Go to L33tz13 and ask : "Anything okay?"
Go through hole in wall

[Fawriel]

YAYS I WIN n_n

Comfort L33tz4n again and try to make the pain go away with some shaman-like sucking-and-waving-hands-stuff. It really works!

[Violet CLM]

Congratulate Fooruman on being useful.

[Radium]

<b>You quickly congratulate Fooruman on having a purpose in life. "Anything okay?" you ask L33tz4n.
"My head didn't explode. That's okay," she says sarcastically. You can see her shoulder better, and it looks like she was cut by a piece of flying scrap metal.
"I can heal that with my ancient Shaman magic," you tell her, trying to hide the fact that you don't know any ancient Shaman magic. Shuriken and Fawriel both turn to see what you do.
"Shaman magic?" Shuriken asks, "I thought you just did that doll thing."
"And you c-can't do healing magic; I wouldn't be special anymore!" Faw cries.
You aren't really all that sure how Shaman magic works, but dancing around and waving your arms seems like a good place to start. You hop around a little and wave your arms like a maniac. Everybody seems to be expecting something, maybe some magic words. Lacking anything better to say, you scream "heal!". Not surprisingly, nothing happens.
"Could you... stop that," L33tz4n asks, "it's kind of scary."

[Risp_old]

Have Faw heal her.

[FoxBlitzz]

Examine the hole in the wall.

[Radium]

<b>Fawriel is still out of magic after the last battle. It'll probably come back later at an incredibly inefficient time.
You look at the hole in the wall. It's about three feet in diameter, and looks as if it broke into a tunnel. The tunnel goes around a corner, but you can see light coming from around the bend. "That's probably intended to be the room's exit," Shuriken points out. You aren't quite sure why somebody would build a brick wall in front of the exit, unless they were truely evil.

[Strato]

Get : Metal Shrapenal
Equip
Check Inventory

[Xion]

No! Leave the metal shrapnel in!

If we take it out, then the blood will gush more, and L33tz4n will die.

[Strato]

do you really think radium would kill L33tz4n?

[Lem_Gambino]

Rip a piece of your shirt off and tie it around Lettzan's arm to stop the bleeding.
SAVE.
Enter the tunnel.

Stratten: Possibly. XP

[Radium]

<b>Tearing off a piece of your shirt, you wrap it around L33tz4n's shoulder to stop the bleeding. "Works a little better than Shaman magic," Shuriken notes, helping you tie the bandage when she realizes you can't tie a knot.
"Thank you," L33tz4n says quietly, going to examine the hole in the wall.
You also take a moment to search the room and locate the bloody piece of shrapnel. You add it to the mess of other random things you carry.

[Lem_Gambino]

SAVE.
Enter. The. Darn. Tunnel. Please.

[Risp_old]

I'm making saves automatic.
Yee-haw!

[Lem_Gambino]

*hits head on keyboard* Just enter the tunnel, please. I don't want to deal with a Smarter Child version 2. >=O

[Radium]

<b>You climb into the hole and crawl through the tunnel. When you reach the end, you find yourself in a hallway, but notice that it is extremely different from the previous room. The walls in this room are made from metal plates, quite similar to the underground maze, only much newer. An opening of what appears to be some kind of chute on the ceiling suggests there was probably an alternate enterance that was overlooked. The ground of the hallway is made from packed dirt, but you see no footprints.
"Stop!" you hear Shuriken yell as you start to walk down the hallway. She points at a vertical row of tiny black dots on the wall. "You missed those," she says, kicking some of the dirt off the ground. Indeed, in the cloud of dust you can see thin red lines going across the hallway. "Secrurity lasers," she explains, "probably triggering a trap or signaling guards."
"Glad we have some ninja skills in the party," you tell her. She mumbles something along the lines of "I'm not a ninja."
"Wow," says Fawriel, helping L33tz4n climb through the tunnel with her injured arm, "it's a lot less dramatic when you can see the thing that triggers the trap."
"Indeed. Any idea how to get around it?" Shuriken asks, "these bars are too close together to fit though, and the dirt's only about an inch deep." You are surprised she mentioned this, because you thought you'd be the only one to think of digging.

[Strato]

Inventory check

[Blackraptor]

View: Laser holes: How many rows of them are there, and their height from the ground.

Or something.

[Radium]

<b>The lasers are placed every two inches, starting about an inch off the ground. They go all the way up to the ceiling, the final one about an inch from the top. You think that a motion sensor probably would've cost less here.
You sift through your useless junk collection. Crushed berries, a bloody piece of metal, your knife, the magic map, the vial of middenite, roll of tape, and, of course, the 'scraptstrudel.

[Strato]

Tape the laser sensors

[Fawriel]

Yay suicidaladventurers.

I'd rather examine the rest of the room.
And ask someone in the party whether holding the piece of metal into the beam to reflect it will do any good.

[acid]

Throw the 'scraptstrudel into the laser beams.

[cooba]

Clean shrapnel with Fooruman's robe (or whatever he's wearing)
Use shrapnel to reflect laser beams

[Radium]

<b>"Will reflecting the beams do any good?" you ask Shuriken, since she seems to be the only one with the mad ninja skills to know.
"No," she replies, "there are sensors on the other side; we can't break the beams. Mirrors would only be of any use if we could reflect the beam all the way around us and back directly into the sensor." You dislike how hopeless she makes the situation sound.
The rest of the room is completely empty. Not even a pile of gold or something.

[Strato]

Put a drop of middenite on each sensor and walk through.

[Radium]

<b>You place a drop of the the empty looking vial's contents onto a couple of the sensors. The laser continues to shine through it, unmodified. You decide to stop before you use up all the middenite.

[Xion]

SAVE GAME

[cooba]

Saves are automatic, dolt.

Show inventory

[Strato]

Stick hand in the light beam we dropped middenite on.

[Fawriel]

Stick hand in the light beam we dropped middenite on.
Eeeh, no. Good idea, but too dangerous.
Go back into the previous room, pick up a bone and throw it into the light beams from a save distance.

[cooba]

Examine sensors
Examine beams
<s>Also, examine L33tz4n's butt a bit.</s>

Pageclaim in name of examining females.

[Fawriel]

<s>Also, examine L33tz4n's butt a bit.</s>
W00t!
I'm all for that! ^_^

[cooba]

<kekeke>

[Fawriel]

W00t!
I'm all for that! ^_^
...uhm...her what?

[cooba]

<you know>

[Strato]

Aye, there be no signs of intellegence on the high seas of Planet Cooba.

[Radium]

<b>You throw a bone into the lasers. Unfortunately, the ground collapses and you fall into a dark chamber where you are tortured until you die. Continuing from post 163.

[cooba]

Examine sensors
Examine beams

Strato is hilarious.

[Fawriel]

But how can the whole ground collapse if we threw the bone from a safe distance.. ah, whatever.

+ Examine L33tz4n! ^_^

[Radium]

<b>The sensors are a small row of black dots on the opposite wall. They are lined up perfectly with each laser. You kick some more dirt into the air so the beams will be visible again. The laser beams themselves are red and about half a centimeter thick.
You look at L33tz4n. She has tealish-blue skin and pale green hair. She is wearing a green shirt and has on her tinted contact lenses, probably so her natural glowing white eyes look less scary. She is about a foot shorter than you, but would probably be about three feet taller if she stood on the very end of her tail.

[Strato]

Examine : Cooba's brain

[Fawriel]

Examine : Radium's sense of humor
Action : Annoy

And see what happens when you hold one of L33tie's contacts into the lasers. Whey hey!

[Radium]

<b>You can not seem to locate either of those. And L33tz4n does not want to give you her contact.

[Strato]

Pour middenite on self. Go through the lasers. Interperative dance.

[Radium]

<b>"We can cover ourselves with Middenite," you suggest, taking out the half-empty vial, "notice how the vial looks like it has no back. I'm guessing this stuff bends light."
L33tz4n looks at the vial, disappointed. "That's all we have?"
"Not to mention it seems to dry up fast. There won't be enough for all of us," Shuriken concludes, "I'd say maybe... two." There is a brief silence as your party looks from one to another. "I'll let you make the call," she says.
Making important decisions, let alone intelligent ones, never seemed to be your specialty. You carefully consider everyone in your party. Shuriken has the advantage of being quick, deadly, and incredibly ninja, but has very little skill with magic and often needs healing in battles. Fawriel is your party's only healer (with the exception of the occasional enchantresphere that randomly is able to cast healing magic) and usually manages fight okay, but has a somewhat slow reaction time and often gets quite annoying. L33tz4n has the advantage of being a summoner (and that small crew of fighters she can summon could certainly come in handy), but she isn't as strong or fast as the others. Fooruman... it looks like you left him in the last room anyway. You also take time to consider whether or not <i>you</i> should go. Even though you're fairly strong and have some good magic skills, you've seen that Shuriken is also perfectly capable of leading the party. Alternatively, you could just flip a coin over who goes, but you've noticed random events seem to hate you.</b>

I'll let you guys think long and hard about this. Remember that either Uberbob or Shuriken have to be one of the two people to go, since they're the only two playable characters.

[Risp_old]

I say Shuri + L33tz4n, since then we meet the leadership requirements, we can have more than two people to fight for us (if our spells come back), and we can still pwn monsters. The only thing we lack is healing.

[Lem_Gambino]

Faw + Leetzan.

[Xion]

I say Shuri + L33tz4n, since then we meet the leadership requirements, we can have more than two people to fight for us (if our spells come back), and we can still pwn monsters. The only thing we lack is healing.
Second this.

[Radium]

Faw + Leetzan.
You need Shuriken or Uberbob in there.

[Strato]

Shuri + Faw

[Odin]

Shrui and L33tz4n seems the most powerful combination. I vote that.

-ThO

[acid]

Shuri and L33tz4n. Definitely the best combo, since they appear to be the only two in the current group that have any amount of thinking capacity.

[Fawriel]

...excuse me, please?
...ah, whatever.

[Lem_Gambino]

*pokes Rad with a salad fork* You still alive, buddy?

[cooba]

L_G : What the kind of addiction you have to those salad forks?

Anyway, I just have a STRATEGY!
<center> http://www.jazz2online.com/jcf/images/icons/icon3.gif
8D </center>
Simply, I choose Shuriken and Faw to go, but only if L33tzie has full MP. If it is, Shuri and Faw come across lasers. Then, L33tzan goes nearby lasers and summons <i>everything<i> she can.

[Strato]

faw has no mp, so he's no good.

[Radium]

<b>The MP will regenerate, Stratn.

I'm rather busy with something, so I'll get back to this as soon as I'm done. Or closer to done. It'll be between one hour and three days, more likely three days. You guys go home and play real games or something 'till I'm back.

[Strato]

yes, but it will be at a suxfoo time before the mp is regenerated.

[Lem_Gambino]

I refuse to abandon this game until it is FINISHED.

Cooba: WAAAAY back in the beginning, Grath cut a bridge leading across a chasm on Pandora's Isle/Spinach Custard, and sometime later Rad said somthing about God stabbing the earth with a salad fork or something, and it stuck The salad fork is now a holy weapon to be used against all newbish things. B)

I suggest Uberbob and Leetzan. you never know when you have to glitch.

[Risp_old]

You mean here-
http://www.jazz2online.com/jcf/showpost.php?p=181177&postcount=839

<b>4.) The ravine is where God stabbed the earth with a salad fork.</b>

EDIT-
Now I am teh Tales of Uberbob's official person-who-finds-old-posts-for-other-people, like Stratten is the official cartographer!

[Xion]

It's been three days.

A decision?

[cooba]

I still suggest to make Shuri go with Faw, and let L33tzan summon her stuff in way that they'll appear on other side of lasers.

Pro : Good healer
Con : Those guys might vanish after some time.

[Lem_Gambino]

What the spork is Rad doing?

Shuri and Leetzan.

[Radium]

Busy with something. 'Ll be back in a while, I promise!
Pageclaim.

[Risp_old]

I hope so.

I claim the page so.

[Lem_Gambino]

Rad beat you to it. >=D

[Risp_old]

No. I posted that way before he finished editing his post. Rad types SLOW.

[Lem_Gambino]

That's cause he's so busy. Perhaps you could each keep half a page?

[Risp_old]

I remember sometimes watching him replying to the Pre-Win 3.1 days on the 'who's online' list. And waiting for 5 minutes. And then, when he finished, see his post is 1 sentance long.

[Lem_Gambino]

Like I said, busy.

While we're on the subject of Pre-Win 3.1, what was your favorite part of that thread? The Pandora Puzzle cracked me up. XD

[cooba]

I enjoyed fight with Solstice. Anyway, I would like to know who solved the puzzle with four pillars.

[Risp_old]

Winter was a team effort between me, Strato and Vio, but I was the one to eventually get the winter. I will edit this post once I find the others, k?
Vio was the one to think up what summer was, and Xion was the one to get it.
I was the one to think up a fall, not that it was too hard. Oh, and later I asked Radium what fall was suppost to be. Excuse the formatting; I got bored.

rspss 270 (6:26:17 PM): hey, Rad?
ItalicSemicolon (6:26:22 PM): Yes?
rspss 270 (6:26:36 PM): what should fall have been in the
puzzel?
rspss 270 (6:26:47 PM): had you not decided to let us fall
over the pillar
ItalicSemicolon (6:26:58 PM): Pour water on the pillar.
rspss 270 (6:27:03 PM): oh
rspss 270 (6:27:20 PM): not too much different
ItalicSemicolon (6:27:51 PM): It would've been a noun.
rspss 270 (6:28:18 PM): but in this case it is a noun also
ItalicSemicolon (6:28:27 PM): It was a verb
rspss 270 (6:28:35 PM): to take a fall is a phrase, I believe
rspss 270 (6:28:43 PM): and in that case it is a noun
ItalicSemicolon (6:28:53 PM): Okay. You win.

[cooba]

Yes, but did only placing them on correct pillars opened hole in ground?

[Risp_old]

Yeah... why did you ask?

[cooba]

Just because.

[Xion]

*ahem*

I was the main driving force in the pillar puzzle...if it wasn't for me, we wouldn't have come across the idea of the fact that it stood for the four seasons, and the spring was a given to be honest, and the fall was my origional idea. Summer I think I did too, with the calculator, and Winter was all VIERA's doing.

[Risp_old]

You didn't do a single thing about winter. You didn't know what the CrazyT did till I told you, and I was the one who eventually got the winter, not you. You just were the one to put him in place while I was away.

[Xion]

okay fine then...

It's Risp that got winter, not <s>me</s> VIERA.


Actually, even when you explained it I had no clue what to do with it.

[Strato]

so...I'm guessing that uberbob is dead?

[Radium]

No, not YEt.

[Xion]

control: Uberbob
Slit Wrist

[Fawriel]

Punch Xion in the face for trying to harm helpless rp characters..

[Strato]

And the once great thread died. I'd get a nice quote an recite it here, but I'm a bit too lazy.

[Radium]

Tomorrow I'll update. I promise. Notdead.

[Strato]

Rising over the buried dungeons in that god-forsaken wilderness, a solitary tower, like some monument to Evil, is all that remains.

w00

[Risp_old]

Yay.

[Xion]

*thwaps tail impatiently* We're waiting.

[Radium]

*thwaps tail impatiently*Never do that again.

I'll update tomorrow. JCF was down today.

[Xion]

Never do that again.

I'll update tomorrow. JCF was down today.
Liar.

[Violet CLM]

It was, though.

[Xion]

if it was down yesterday, how come there were posts yesterday? He could have made the posts then instead of giving us another BS reason on why he won't post.

[Violet CLM]

It was down yesterday until around the time Radium goes to bed. Not all that practical.

[Xion]

w/e

[Radium]

Point of View (POV) = Shuriken.

<b>After about twenty minutes of pacing back and forth, conversing enthusiastically with the wall, and asking the most clueless of your allies for advice, Uberbob finally comes to his conclusion. "L33tz4n and that other person... Shuri-something or whoever... will go." He probably means you, being the only Shuri-something. Then again, it could always be some figment of his imagination he's talking about. Or a name he thought up for something. Regardless, it looks like you're going into Unfooruman's lair and can't do anything about it. Well, you <i>could</i> just kill the rest of the party and make a run for it, but at this point even you are quite curious what lies within this fortress.
Of course, having to take the snake girl along isn't something you cherish either. No doubt you'll have to drag her up staircases and stuff the whole time; handicapped accessibility doesn't seem to be a requirement for evil lairs. Despite the consequences, you can see the logic in bringing her along, mainly her summoning skills.
You find the concept of summoning quite illogical in itself, actually. Summoning something like an elemental is one thing, but as of late there have been mages, trained soldiers, and even historical figures just popping out of thin air, and you're starting to wonder where they all come from. Moreso, why the first thing that ask isn't "where the heck am I?" The only logical explanation would be that somewhere there is a place filled with people waiting to be summoned, and that seems equally illogical. You figure you could always just ask L33tz4n later. She is already on the other side of the lasers, still slightly semitransparent from the Middenite.
You kick some dirt into the air so the lasers are visible. Pouring the last of the Middenite over your body, you quickly run across to where L33tz4n is standing. The small red lines bend around your body without setting anything off. Sighing with relief, you, L33tz4n, and Fooruman continue walking down the twisting hallway, careful to constantly kick up more dust in case of more lasers.

[Lem_Gambino]

Hold it. I thought there was only enough Meddenite for two people...O_o

[Radium]

<b>"Yeah," you say to the wizard, confused, "what are you doing here?"
He throws his arms up as if telling a great story. "You would not believe it; after the dust went away, it was like the red bars were <i>gone</i>! I'm betting that they were some sort of magical dust-bars. Oh, and Uberbob and the others decided to go down a chute."
L33tz4n sighs. "We should probably hurry up and find Unfooruman, then. And the others," she says, "looks like it's just the three of us. For now," you are almost sure you hear her mumble "until one of us kills Fooruman," though it might have just been you accidently thinking aloud.
You hurry down the hallway until you reach a door. The door is made from wooden planks and slightly burned in places. L33tz4n reaches for the handle, but a high-pitched roar from behind the door causes her to leap back.

[Strato]

Cry

[Lem_Gambino]

Stand Back.
Cast: Summon Soap: Door
Don't cry.

[acid]

Begin battle with the door!

[Lem_Gambino]

The door can't fight back, doi.

[acid]

No, its like those things where it can't attack, but it does damage to you if you attack it with a certain kind of attack!

[cooba]

Smash door with katana

[Fawriel]

Wonder how L33tzy managed to leap.
Prepare for battle.
And try to simply <i>open</i> the door if possible. =P

[Radium]

<b>You hack the door apart into small, irrelevant pieces. L33tz4n looks like she is about to ask why you just did that, but another high-pitched roar interrupts her.
The room behind the door has walls made from stone bricks and looks about one hundred feet long, with another door on the other side. A large shadow suggests something is hiding next to the door, but you are unable to see it without entering.

[Strato]

Enter Door.
Yell at Fooruman for being stupid. And Ugly.

[cooba]

Force Fooruman to open door
Hide as away as possible.

Pageclaim.

[Radium]

<b>You yell at Fooruman for being stupid. And ugly.
"Ah, but I was not always stupid and ugly," he explains as the three of you walk towards the door, "at one time I was stupid and handsome."
"Do you think we should just charge in there like that?" L33tz4n asks, "whatever's in there doesn't sound nice." Ignoring her warning, you enter the door. Of course, once on the other side, you are greeted by a rather large and hungry looking dragon with its head about three feet from you. Horns portrude akwardly from all over it's skull and its warm, sulfuric breath suggests this is possibly the fire-breathing kind. Instinctively, you bring your katana down on it's head. The sword bounces off with a small "<i>tink</i>".

[cooba]

Ignore dragon and go further

[Radium]

<b>The dragon bites your head off. It's quite messy and hurts a little too. Game loaded from post 244.

[cooba]

Backtrack to a safe distance
Engage battle with dragon

[Fawriel]

Summon Soap at dragon!

[Lem_Gambino]

Summon Mythslayer.
Shoot Silver Bullet at dragon.

[Radium]

<b>Panicking, you flee back through the door, narrowly dodging a pillar of fire. "Summon soap!" you call to L33tz4n. She raises her hand, and with a flash of light, a small bar of soap skids into the room, past the dragon.
"Any other bright ideas?" she asks. The dragon puts it's eye up to the doorway and stares directly at you. Guessing your next command, L33tz4n raises her hand again. A pillar of green light shoots out of the ground, and the Mythslayer steps out of it.
Like the last time you saw him, the Mythslayer is wearing a long coat with stakes, mirrors, and various vials tied to every bit of it. "What can not exist will not-" he begins his cliche intro, but is cut off by your orders.
"Bullet. Dragon. Now," you tell him quickly. The Mythslayer fires a silver bullet directly at the dragon's eye. The bullet rocochets off and whizzes past your head. The dragon roars and blinks angrily, but seems unharmed.
The Mythslayer backs away and reaches for his sword defensively. "Well, it's not the poke-out-its-eye kind dragon," he concludes.