Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back? - by various people

[Hareoic]

Well, at least you like the movie...

*panics because he knows the movie won't be long enough*

I GOT IT! After Spaceballs is over, everybody can watch UHF(the movie, silly).

[Violet CLM]

Again, never heard of it, but I'll trust you on this. La la la, to hollywood we go, watching movies on the way.

[Hareoic]

Ok, UHF is a movie starring Weird Al Yankovic, and it's about...
Wait... If you rent the movie, you can see for yourself. I don't want to spoil the whole movie for ya.

[JJ BBoy KS]

I LOVE UHF!!! :lol:

[Hareoic]

Heh, same here.


There's only 1 place to go to find spatulas:
SPATULA CITY!
SPATULA CITY!


I wish I owned the movie...

[Ducky]

*tromps around proudly*

<i>I</i> own it.

Hee.


Now, I'm not sure whats happening..

`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

We're all in a spaceship, watching your movies and eating your food, waiting for someone to write about us landing and what Hollywood is like to a bunch of rabbits who wear VERY skimpy clothing. (Mostly)

[Hareoic]

Suddenly, Black Rabite(me) realised something was wrong. He went up to check the coordinates, and although the coordinates read they were only few kilometers away from earth, the radar itself had no indication of a planet anywhere within a 20 lightyear radius.

"I KNEW it had to be true!" He told himself. He remembered a certain verse in a certain song that made him suspicious. In Another Dimension, Another Time and Space, A Parellel Universe... He knew what was wrong now. Earth was in a different dimension.

Deciding to let the Taverners find out for themselves, he didn't breathe a word of this to anybody.

Edit: Spelling mistake.

[GuMmYBeAr!]

Tyffyme sits alone in the War Tavern, being forgotten. She lays her head onto the bar, hearing crickets... or is it inside her head? Who knows. She idly run a finger upon the bar, taking the dust away.

[VelKa]

Poor Tyffie.

[Violet CLM]

Suddenly, the movie was over. Accoring to Black Rabite, who had been bouncing up and down in his chair, it had been about to reach a climatic part, but it had just stopped. There was no more film in the projector. Losing interesting, the various denizens wandered around the spaceship, causing trouble and the like.

Kovu walked up to some Neutron Fibers used for keeping the airlock in one piece, and used them as a wig. Shigeru Montoya, or whatever his name is, had been in the airlock at the time. Note that I said had. Sometime, thousands of years in the future, he'll probably drift onto some strange planet. In the meantime, though, Kovu looked quite fashionable.

Unknown Rabbit came across some large piping material that looked like it had come right out of Labrat. Cutting a small hole in it with his Ultra Spiffy Swiss Army Bayonet, he yelled "HELLO IN THERE" into the tube. In the cockpit, Black Rabite jumped. The ship went haphazardly off course, and almost smashed into an asteroid. Unknown Rabbit, not knowing that he had almost killed them all, strolled around looking for a soda machine.

DDay walked up to a computer terminal, and started browsing the ADVENTURERS forum. After that, he downloaded the demo version of JJ1, and started playing it. Fquist hovered behind him, saying how terrible the graphics were, and how the sound was ugly. DDay wasn't sure how a sound can be ugly, so he kept on playing. At least he wasn't causing trouble.

Beauman, feeling very lazy, walked around with a pixy cola in his hand. Telling Unknown Rabbit where to find the soda machine, he walked up to the thermosat adjuster. After reading the clip on instructions booklet, he knew better then to hit the large red button. It was very hard to do, however, as rabbits are naturally attracted to shiny buttons. However, the fear of giant fireballs coming out of all the ventilation shafts kept Beauman away.

Claw clambered through one of said ventilation shafts, looking for something to hunt. So far, he had found 24.9 bugs in the system, and he was still hungry.

The titans, who somehow had managed to fit inside the Space War Tavern, had their own room. This was because anyone who entered was likely to be squashed. Their quarters were very tight, and the beer tap GenEX had installed didn't help either. At least he was getting paid for it, even if he couldn't just teleport to a distant plane and do all of this much quicker.

The Golden Knight, anxious to get back to the set of Jurassic Park something or other, was rather impatient with the speed of this ship. In his day, spaceships would go at least thrice this speed, and not show such corny movies. Science fiction, in his opinion, was so much better then documentaries. Searching for the engines, he accidentally tripped over a small lever. Machine gun turrets popped up inside the jail, and started gunning down all the refugee villains from Bucky o' Hare's game that hadn't gotten a chance to particiapate in Cannibal Fraud. Feud, I mean.

Cobra and Fquist walked around, commenting on the shoddyness of the place. Coming across Fire Sword, they assigned him to give everything three more coats of paint. Complaining about only wanting to do a little writing, Fire Sword threw a paint can at Fquist's head. It was a mistake, and Dreama showed up only just in time to prevent a banning.



I wanna land somewhere.

[Hareoic]

[I]So this is the EPCMGGMS universe... I knew this ship still had a few bugs in it. I better update the map of the universe while I'm in the control room, and all the other machinery"[I]
Black Rabite had a knack for updating machinery. He installed what he called "Accelerator GX-25 Warp Drive" for a new means of movement in space(I'm not sure what else to call it, other than warp drive), A "Rambo Extermination Special N75" Gun Turret, gave all the ship's computers a MAJOR upgrade in hard drive space (765, 623, 555, 123, 688, 912 hundred thousand more terrabytes, which are equal to 1024 gigabytes apeice), a Pentium 739,675,490Ultra Processor, a billion dollar scanner, a Fl@$h Modem, a library containing every single book ever released to the public, an arcade consisting of 50,000 different coin-operated consoles(with 100% theft-proof locks), 20 huge-screen TVs, a dozen Jukeboxes, 7 discoballs, 100,000,000 rooms(each with a bed, bath, shower, jaccuzi, big screen TV, and burgalar alarm), a bigger new arena for Cannibal Feud with traps and such, and, of course, a new computerized map of the EPCMGGMS universe. And he had to do it all by HAND, ALL by himself, and NO psychic powers used at all. When he was done, he was proud of his work, because it only took him 5 days non-stop. He was about to relax when he remembered nobody else was piloting the ship. He hurried back but was too late. They were about to crash onto a planet. "Attention passengers, attention passengers. We are about to collide with a seriously hostile-looking planet. Please scream and run around in circles." Of course. everybody did so:lol:. Then Black Rabite decided to put the new shield around the Tavern so it wouldn't take any damage from the crash. He could care less about his life right now, because his prized work was at stake!

[Violet CLM]

Well, of COURSE it's the EPICMEGAGAMES universe. Where else did you think we would be, the PGSFTWR universe? (Or APOGEESOFTWARE, for long)


There was a jarring thump, which sucessfully thumped all the jars inside the Fabulous Space War Tavern. Kovu was thrown out of the pickle jar, which he had a knack for getting into, and a lot of rabbits fell on eachothers' heads. Claw went flying out a shaft opening, and crashed into the door. The locks had stopped working from the jolt of the landing, even though Black Rabite had done his best to prevent total annhilation, so Claw went sailing out onto this hostile new world. At least, judging from Rabite's expectations and Claw's vision, it was hostile. Computers and other game systems were laying in huge flaming piles, video games were fashionably being blown apart by Semi Automatic Ultimacia Brand Rifles. The inhabitants of the planet, a bunch of books with arms and legs, were screaming at the top of their leafs "One, Two, Three, Four! We don't want your pixel war!" Claw, stunned, ran back inside the Fabulous Space War Tavern to huddle underneath Batty Buddy's umbrella.

The Lemon Pies, which had been hurled out of the formerly locked cupboards, began thinking they were Gun4 Homing Missiles. Everyone ran in circles screaming some more, as Lemon Pies flew at 3mph behind them. If any of them had had the sense to run down a hallway, they could have easily outdistanced the Lemon Pies, but they were to busy running in circles and screaming to notice. Fortunately for the cleanliness of all concerned, Beauman quickly threw one of his emergancy plot holes in the direction of the Lemon Pies, sucking them all up. Unfortunately for the stomachs of all concerned, the plot hole also sucked up all food aboard the Fabulous Space War Tavern. It would have gotten all the drinks, too, but it is impossible for the War Tavern to run out of alchohol. A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Darth Vader yelled a non repeatable word as fifty thousand Lemon Pies plopped into his face.

Meanwhile, back on whatever planet the War Tavern is situated in, (it's either Carrotus or Diamondu, I'd say) Freelance continued to desolately walk the streets of downtown Krackuhjakuhs. He had seen the Fabulous Space War Tavern blast off of the planet six days ago, and he still had not decided on a new name. His legs were also regretting he had abandoned the horse. Said horse, in fact, was now in another story all together, bravely fighting off Nazguls with its hooves. Freelance had narrowed it down to two names, "Ancoysd" or "Cvomsues", and was in a state of liking them equally. In asking other inhabitants and lowlife one which they thought was better, he had been mugged 5 times, knocked unconcious 3, told to bug off 21.5 and had gotten rather sick of the whole deal 29.5. He hitched a ride on a horse and cart with what was left of his money, and thought to himself angrily as he was bumped along the road.
I
Must,
Must,
MUST
find
a
way
to
stop
this
torture!
Maybe
there's
someone
I
know
nearby
who
owns
a
spaceship......
No,
I
said
I'm
leaving
my
old
life
behind.
Getting off at a Soup Kitchen, Freelance walked sadly up to the window, still attempting to decide between "Ancoysd" or "Cvomsues".

Back in the Fabulous War Tavern, everyone had calmed down. A shaken up bottle of beer still exploded every few minutes, sometimes soaking someone, but other then that the aftermath of the crash was over. Black Rabite had recieved an award for saving most of the ship by turning on the shield, and had had it taken away because it had been his fault in the first place. Beauman, who had taken the chair GenEX had taken from Gummybear back on the War Tavern's home planet, began a speech. "Fellow space travellers, we are gathered here today because Black Rabite crashed us all onto a planet. Only one of us has seen what is on the planet, and he does not want to return. Usually, Claw is a very calm.... Claw, but he saw something there that has shaken him considerably. Claw?"
"Thankee, Beauman. Waell, I done right enough saw a big hooten anty with lots of book thangies burning cah-omputers and vih-de-o games! I even saw a few copies of Jazz 2 in there along with them!" There was a collective gasp, and Beauman continued.
"With or without his weird new accent, Claw has just explained why we have no wish to remain upon this planet. If the bookians were to venture upon our Fabulous Space War Tavern, I would not be surprised if they started smashing everything. Does anyone have a suggestion on how we may get off this horrid place, so we can return to our earlier task of reaching Hollywood, Earth?"
GenEX walked up to the podium, and quickly stole Beauman's microphone. "I have an idea! Let us all go teleport to a distant plan-" however, before GenEX could continue, Kovu threw a beer bottle at him. It exploded on the wall above the stolen stolen chair, and completely drenched Gen. Sputtering, he leaped across the room onto Kovu, and they started tussling. Taking no notice, Beauman went on.
"Does anyone ELSE have an idea on how we may accomplish the feat I spoke of not two minutes ago? Remember, if we suceed, we shall get about a Million KATRILLION BUCKS each!"
The Golden Knight stood up, cleared his throat importantly, and said "Well, actually, that's without tax, shipping, handling, customs, foreign exchange, time travel tax and universal travel fines. Minus all that, you actually get only about two million bucks each." Everyone turned upon the Golden Knight, and started yelling insults at him until Fire Sword wisely pointed out that two million bucks was still a lot of money. While it could not buy them all their own private galaxies, like they had planned, it could easily satisfy all realistic needs for a while yet.


Well? Does anyone have any ideas on how to get off besides teleporting to a distant plan?

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

(Black Rabite? ehehe, u've been playing too much Siekien Denentsu 3, my friend... i'll try to post a part over turkey day weekend)

[Hareoic]

Hey guys. I'm posting on my relative's computer in Des Moines. Cool, eh?
__________________________________________________ __


Black Rabite was more of a peaceful type. He decided to speed out of reach of the rabid rabbit. Seizing the microphone, he made an announcement."I wish to tell you all that it is actually the Golden Knight's fault, for he was complaining about the ship needing updating. And another thing, I don't have arms OR legs, I have to bounce to move around, and I can't stand on/pick up objects with my ears for very long. And another thing, I can give everybody 1000x more money than a measly 2 million. But gold weighs a lot, so I think we may have to lighten the load..." He grinned and turned to the Golden Knight, who was panicking because all the taverners agreed with Rabite. Black sent the knight home, and gave everybody 20million dollarsworth of gold. And they discovered the tavern weighed less than before, even with all the money. Obviously, the knight weighed a few thousand tons without the armor itself, so maybe that was the reason the tavern fell so fast.

But Black Rabite was thinking deeply, and he realised what the planet was named."Taverners, I have another announcement to make. The planet is name Librarius, and the books don't like our video games. Here's the plan..."

[Violet CLM]

RESTRAIN ME, SOMEONE. I AM MAD.

[Ducky]

*clings to Unknownie*
It'll be alright!....someday. I promise!
Here, have some celery and peanut butter.

I don't want you to kill anyone so I'm not letting go until yourelax.

[FireSworD]

Calm down Unknown I'll take care of GenEx. :lol:

[Hareoic]

Ahem? I beg to differ...}>

[Violet CLM]

Suddenly, three very odd things happened.
One: Just as the Golden Knight arrived back at the set of Jurassic Park, he vanished.

Two: All the gold that GenEX had given the Tavern regulars (as well as DDay) suddenly oozed into one very lare nugget, with after some cool movie special effects and lightning, turned into the Golden Knight. Said Knight could offer no explanation of this most peculiar occurance, until.....

Three: The king of all gods (Arjan Brusse, or whatever his last name is) came down from the heavens and pointed his cloudy finger at Gen. "You! GenEX, scout of the gods, sent away to help us all those years ago! You have been using your godly powers most unwisely....." At this point, GenEX was trembling in his shoes, huddling behind a dashboard, knowing what the god king could do to him.

"You should know that such waste of your powers could result in something nasty and generally undesirable, GenEX. (What king of a name is that anyway?) As punishment for your fun, I sentence you to the cruel fate of not being able to use any godly or psychic powers for the rest of this storyline!!!!!" And before GenEX could put up any sort of shield, his powers were gone for the rest of this storyline.

"Now, before I depart, do any of you worshippers wish my autograph?" Several did, Unknown Rabbit included, so Arjan shot small firebolts to write his name on various pieces of paper. Those who didn't have paper ripped metal sheeting off of the floor of the Fabulous Space War Tavern Now In Crashed Form Buy Now While Supplies Last. Meanwhile, GenEX mournfully went back to explaining his plan.....:

[Hareoic]

I have nothing to say, except that you're ruining the story AGAIN, and if I manage to finish My Story, then maybe you'll see why I cannot lose my powers. Zues punished other gods when they did wrong, but he didn't take away their abilities. Besides, in the story...
Nevermind, you'll have to see for yourself;)

[Violet CLM]

I merely changed it back to how it was before you destroyed the plot in order to go with the SUB plot, and prevented you from using your powers that can do anything to ruin the plot AGAIN. Have you considered that we want to actually write about doing things, instead of having you use godlike powers to instantly complete something? Give some other people a chance to do something.

Meanwhile, Plan, Plan!

[Cobra]

Part of this whole War Tavern is the cooperation. If it all depends on one person who is not only godmoding, but not letting anyone join in, then it's all crud and not worth it. The plot isn't set in stone, and it all doesn't depend on a self-proclaimed hero. If anyone becomes a hero, it's because others have declared them to be so.

Back to work.

[Hareoic]

*grumbles that there's no justice in the war tavern*

[Ducky]

You tell them Cobra.


*elbows Gen in the ribs*

There's loads of justice here. Its just the kind that makes it RIGHT.




Okay, here's the NEW plot. *takes over the world*

Suddenly, a huge meteor struck the the Fabulous Space War Tavern Now In Crashed Form Buy Now While Supplies Last.

A strange green coating layed over the bystanders.

They were all transformed into indefeatable, superhuman, godlike beings.

And all started fighting. Since they were all wonderpeople and totallay unable to be even slightly injurned in the smallest way, they couldn't even give each other a rug burn.










GEEZ. NOW we're in a predicament.
LOOK WHATS HAPPENED! WE can't even call on GEN TO SAVE US now! BECAUSE WE"RE ALL SO WONDERFUL THAT WE CAN<s>'T</s> SAVE OURSELVES.



*sarcasm*


Oh we're all so STUPID.
*bursts into tears and knocks as many people over as possible on her way out
*

[Hareoic]

We don't even have to fight, if I'd posted sooner...


Sadly, the effects lasted 2 seconds.
"Arg" growled Rubba' Duck,"Gen, you ruined ANOTHER plot!"

"It's black rabite, mallard! And I was about to make my speech when that stupid meteor crashed! All we have to do to the aggressive books is READ them. They're sad because we've all had our faces in front of the television screens and computers. They're jealous. Find a good book to read. And follow me!"

Black (rabite, not sheep) led them to the savage books and said "Oh, my! What interesting books! It HAS been boring flying across the universe with NOTHING to DO..."
The books suddenly calmed down and eventualy, their arms and legs shrank away and the closed their eyes, and the eyes disappeared.
"Now, to prevent this from happening again to the next people who land here, everybody get all the books you can find and bring them back to the ship. I'll add a library to the War Tavern!"
And, because Black Rabite showed some astoundingly good common sense, they listened. Of course, they didn't want to have to drag all the books back to the war tavern, every book ever made was there, and they didn't have time, they still thought they were heading for Hollywood. They decided that the storyline was over and Black got his powers back, transporting them to a newly built library section. Then he gave himself a pair of arms and checked out a good Redwall book and started reading after he made the ship takeoff.

Meanwhile, the knight was still trapped on librarius, screaming for help. "ALRIGHT! I'll give you the decillion dollars! Just GET ME OFF THIS BORING PLANET!!!"
Nobody even remembered that they brought him along. They were concentrating on reading some interesting books they checked out at the The Black Rabite's Library.


A very good inspiration for us all, sitting down and reading some good books...:)

[Cobra]

Although reading was very good and all, they suddenly remembered that this story was about the tavern. Suddenly, they all ran to the tavern, hoping that they could steal a few bottles of brew before Ducky caught them. She did though, and severly whacked everyone.
Several rabbits got mad at Genex and were threatening to drop the jukebox on top of him, but HatMan came the the rescue and banned them all for making a personal attack.
For some reason, more bunnies got into kilts and started dancing on the bar while playing bagpipes.

Cobra sighed sadly in the corner. If you weren't a freak trying to live in a world where your guy was running off to the military, people were dancing in kilts. What was the world coming to.

[Violet CLM]

Meanwhile, Unknown Rabbit thinks about stopping writing in this topic. GenEX has totally ruined all the fun.

[Hareoic]

Everbody's getting restless...

Maybe a little bit more cannibal feud is needed. Then we could have some kinds of tournaments, SSB tourneys WITHOUT Miyamoto, something like that...

[Violet CLM]

Okie doke. Gen appears to be gone, but I'm not sure what's currently going on. Recap, someone?

[Blà çk Räbí†ë¡®]

What makes you think I'm gone?

[Kaz]

Why am I not suprised you'd name youself after one of the most powerful things in the SNES games.

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

*Shivers at the thought of Black Rabites*
ok, well... since GenEX seems to be gone for the moment (no offense meant to GenEX, it just seems that way), and i'm in an inspirational writing mood, and the thought of cannibal feud, i guess i'll submit a post to lay everything flat and normal again...
==============================================
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was sitting in thought, trying to decifer wat had happened amid the chaos, and realized that mostly everyone else was doing the same. Then, an idea sparked in his head, that he should relieve everyone of deep thought.
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then pulled out a conviently located remote out of his pocket, which he snatched from under the bar earlier, and pushed a bright blue button*

all of a sudden, the whole tavern went black, causing it to be silent, and the motion of the kilted rabbits stopped also.
then, a dim light lit on in the center of the tavern floor, where much smoke dispersed from the floor.
amid from the smoke, a figure could be seen...
Familar Voice: Ladies and gentlebunnies, lil'rabbits and other beings... I present to you... CANNIBAL FEUD: SPECIAL EDITION!!!
*Suddenly (everything must happen suddenly :p), Spotlights of colors a many lit up on the cieling, and set explosions exploded around wat could now be made out as a cage (KISS Style), and then many strobe lights came on, and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ strode out from the smoke, in a rather nice Blood Red Tuxedo*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: DO WE WANT CANNIBAL FEUD?!?!?
Crowd: YA!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: DO WE WANT BLOOD SPLATTERED ACROSS THE CAGE!?!?!?
Crowd: YA!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: DO WE WANT TO SEE ORGANS FLYING EVERYWHERE, SPRAYING OUT BODILLY FLUIDS, 'TILL THEY'RE CRUSHED AND CHEWED BY THE TEETH OF YOUR FELLOW RABBIT, AND THEN CRAPPED OUT IN TAE CAN?!?!!?
*Crowd went silent*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: er... YAAAAAAAAA!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: OK! Our first contestant shall be...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pulled out a laser grappler, to avoid the hassle of calling a person up*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Is...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ shot it out into the audience, and grappled a rabbit*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Unknown Rabbit!
*Unknown, a little bit bewildered, waved to the audience*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: And, your competitor, is...
*smoke then puffed out from the stage, and a spiked wheel appeared, which was drenched in blood-red paint, and was spun by BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ*
*The Wheel Spun Spun Spun, until landing on "Tiny"*
*Unknown wept a sweat from his brow in relief*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Your opponent is... Tiny! Oi! Joey! Release Tiny!
*Then the ground started to shake, as a monstrous turtle stomped into the cage, with crimson eyes and sharp, unkempt teeth*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Unknown, enter the cage now, and face your opponent!
*The crowd cheered rather loudly*
*Unknown entered the cage, and the cage was locked behind him, as he moved in as strobe lights flashed everywhere*
==============================================
Oi! Unknown! do your battle-scene since you should prolly do it since it's about you. If you don't do it in 3-4 days, i'll prolly do it for u.

[Violet CLM]

I'll edit this later to contain the scene, right now I have to go.

Ok. I was planning to include a long dream, with weird stuff, but I got stuck and decided to post it seperately sometime later. Meanwhile, here's the fight.




Tiny lunged, roaring a tiny roar which I don't think turtles can do anyway so don't ask me how he did it let alone what I think I mean by tiny roar as roar sort of implies large and loud anyway etc etc etc.....

Unknown Rabbit, grabbing something that had been left in the ring by Clarence, threw it at Tiny. It happened to be a Pocket Protector, and had no effect on Tiny. Neither did the Geeky glasses found in the same corner. As time was running out, even if Tiny was lunging through the air in slow motion, Unknown Rabbit ran under the flying turtle and delivered an uppercutt to a most sensitive spot. Unfortunately, this didn't cause Tiny to go flying off the stage in pain, it merely caused him to stop hurtling. Unknown looked fearfully up at the midair hovering body of Tiny, then was almost squashed as the Turtle fell.

Nobody was quite sure what happened next for ten seconds or so, but it is general belief that a chandeleir fell onto Tiny, which was quite odd as there weren't any Chandeleirs. Regardless, while this curious event did not make Tiny fall over dead, the broken pieces flying all over did prevent anyone from seeing the stage for a while. When the mess subsided, everyone who was watching could see Tiny, standing amongst the wreckage and flames of the fallen light producer, holding Unknown Rabbit high in the air. Tiny, looking at Unknown Rabbit, posed a question that had never been asked before in Cannibal Fraud. "Can I kill you now? Devan Shell said that the more rabbits I killed, I would be more likely to go to Heaven, instead of the Swamps of the Sleeping Jaguar. But I don't want to hurt your feelings."
Unknown Rabbit looked oddly at the turtle, his normal colored eye did anyway, and started talking. "But Bob, I mean Tiny, killing rabbits so you'll go heaven is Fanaticisim! And that's bad! Don't you see, if you kill me now, the Terrorists have already won!"
"Gee.... they will? They have?"
"They will unless you put me down."
"Duh, ok."
Tiny put Unknown Rabbit down, and then the fight began again. Unknown was regetting not giving more detailed instructions, but he was in no place to complain. While running around in circles, he managed to get a good dagger eye glare at Beauman, who was still announcing that Tiny looked as if he had been exercising lately.

Tiny, taking a break from chasing after Unknown Rabbit all around the boxing ring, (the turtle chased the rabbit) sat down. Unknown Rabbit didn't get a chance to stop running, and thus smashed straight into the hard shell of Tiny. In surprise, Tiny got up, and looked behind him to see the prostrate body of Unknown. Bellowing, Tiny leaped into the air, shaped himself in the popular "cannonball" diving position and went straight down. Through some streak of possibly divine intervention, Unknown Rabbit managed to pull himself out of the way of the plummeting behometh before Tiny smashed right through the ground, stage, 'Tavern floor, grass, soil, rock, various minerals and kept smashing down all the way to the center of the planet, where he burned into little KFT niblets.

Unknown Rabbit, dazed, got up and looked around the 'Tavern, and vaugely noticed Beauman hurridly holding up a "Applaud" cue card. Then he collapsed into a cage wall, and sagged.

A few days later, he woke up, rather covered in bruises, cuts, scrapes and the like. Looking around, Unknown found himself inside a hospital, kind of tied to the bed. Beauman was sitting on a pile of coins, in Crysillis fashion, with dollar signs in his eyes. Groggily, Unknown Rabbit croaked. Instantly, a nurse ran in, and told Unknown Rabbit to lie down, as he had a lot of bones broken, and shouldn't exert himself. Beauman, exasperated with all the rules in hospitals, threw a plot hole over the nurse, lodging her in Disguise's latest tileset until it was released. He then got up and walked over to about where Unknown Rabbit's head felt like it was, and asked "how do you feel?".
"Awful. Beauman, is keeping turtles for that sort of purpose even legal?"
"Ummmmmm...... Maybe... probably.... not making any assumptions, of course, but...."
Unknown Rabbit groaned, and went back to sleep, but not before hearing Beauman say something about the show making a lot of cashola for him.

[Violet CLM]

Hehehehehe, Life. Funny. I posted this so people would know I had edited my post. Otherwise, it would remain where it was, instead of being shot to the top of the list until another thread in the War Tavern is posted in, keeping War Stories down until it gets posted in..... Oh, you know what I mean. I hope, anyway. Hehehehehe. Life.

[Kovu aka Alec]

Gobs of gooey glue where strewn across the innards of the beseiged Tavern, which now had a new Infinite Pit to Teh Core of The Planet thanks to Tiny (the old one was getting rather dusty.)
"Heeellppp, meee." Shigeru Miyamoto cried meekly from under a chaotic chasm of cool crazy glue. Unfortunatley, none heard him.
"L-o-v-e-,-T-a-v-e-r-n-e-r-s." Cobra spelled out with a massive marker at the bottom of a huge Get Well card that filled the expanse of the tavern.
"Guys! I've finished writing it, how's the glitter comming?!" Cobra then shouted(She had to because, in order to contain the humongous card, they were all at oppisite ends of the Tavern) up to Kovu, who hung perilously by a tether from the top of the tavern, with a keg of glitter being poured down onto the hideous Arts and Crafts project from the untold dark abyss.
"Alright!" After freeing another volley of glitter, he swiveled around to Gen, who was weilding a pair of hedgeclippers, cutting out the giant poorly drawn redition of Unkownie to be glued upon the card. "What about you?!"
"Almost done!" He then turned to Ducky, who manned a oversized rapid fire hot glue gun.
"How's it comming over thar?!"
Duckieo fired a searing and deadly blot of glue into the general direction of air, because it look really cool as it hurled through space and then crashed into something and melted with a gurgly sound.
"Right on, erm, schedule!"
"Good!" Cobra shouted, hearing everyones reply,"We should be ready to take this over to Unknownie by nightfall! Although, it'd be a lot quicker if there were more people, where is everyone?!"
.......
"I dunno."

He Who Doesn't Know His Name Who, In Actuallity, Doesn't Have A Name, But Hasn't Told Anyone That, Because His Mom Always Called Him Clyde And He Swore From Being An Embryo That He Would Never Accept The Name Clyde, So He Really DOES Have A Name But Doesn't Want It So He Decides To Go On Nameless(HWDKHNWIADHANBHTATBHMACHCAHSFBAETHWNATNCS HRDHANBDWISHDTGON) breifly hiccuped back into conciousness.
"Beau...if I ever regain feeling in my legs, I will hurt you...badly."
"Tha's okay, I'm rich enough to buy a new body anyway."

And Somewhere, a right about now, in a Soup Kitchen not so far away, Freelance lept up from the table, spilling his clam chowder over everything, fired a gun into the ceiling in declaration,
"NOW, From this day forth I shall be known as...Ancoysd!!!Duh Duh DAH NA!!"

[Violet CLM]

Meanwhile, at Plotline Hotline, things were getting scary. No posts had been made for quite some time, which endangered the jobs of all the Plotline Hotline workers. Bringing out the Plot-O'-Matic machine, Jim Drab (the host) fed in their predictament on a little slip of paper. The Plot-O'-Matic burped, then ejected a new slip of paper. It read;

Plotline, Hotline, puzzlement you Got Mine, I'm really at a loss.
No plot, Ho plot, solution I do Know not, why don't you ask the boss?

Jim Drab took this as excellect advice, after he had run it through a De-Rhymer brand Translator, so he went to the vaulted realms of Mr. Continuity, the ruler of all plots for the War Tavern. Imagine a mix between Heaven's artwork, Darkness' ideas, J2LC Recharge's colors and NatureRuin's coolness, all merged into one amazing castle, eyecandy flowing so literally you could catch it in a cup and pour it upon your own tilesets, and see them jump into life. That could give you an idea what the realms of Continuity are like, if only in looks. Jim Drab, however, wearing his patented Drabby Glasses saw only the artwork of {ET1}, the ideas of Green Matrix, the colors of Moon Station and the coolness of Simple. This was mainly to contain his emotions, and be able to appear before the great Continuity in a more respectable fashion.

However, when Jim Drab reached the end of his quest, as many Waldos had done before, he saw and said something many have done before. "Ahhhh! Someone killed Mr. Continuity!!!!"


Unknown Rabbit struggled to keep his eyelids open. "Beauman, rest assured, the BACTA FLUIDs are NOT going to like this."
"BACTA FLUIDS?"
"Beaurocrats Against Cruelty To Animals who Furthermore Like Utilizing Investigative Dimwits."
"Oh... So how come when it's a TURTLE getting all chewed up and all you don't mind?"
"I never said that I mind Cannibal Feud.... on the outside, that is."
"Oh, I see. Remind me, why am I even sitting here anyhow? I should probably be selling souveneirs and little action figurines back at the 'Tavern!"


Back to the Future....

The Director of Jurassic Park Something or Other (TDJPSO) was screaming at the cameraman. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, OUR STAR JUST VANISHED INTO THIN AIR, USING ONE OF THE MOST BRILLIANT SPECIAL EFFECTS SEEN IN ALL TIME, AND YOU DIDN'T GET IT ON FILM?!?!?!?!?"
The cameraman, who was not paticularly bright, answered brightly. "I mean our star just vanished into thin air, using one of the most brilliant special effects seen in all time, and I didn't get it on film!"
TDJPSO went from white, to decidedly dark pink, to scarlet, to indigo, to lilac, to lavender and finally all the way to deepest opal before shouting "FIRE THIS IDIOT INSTANTLY!!!!"
Two guards walked over, picked the cameraman up by his armpits and walked him over to a large cannon. He was promptly fired. No sooner had this happened, however, then a human body fell onto the ground in front of TDJPSO, quickly followed by a lot of space junk. Shaking the body, TDJPSO - still in a bad mood - demanded to know where it had come from, where it was going, what was its name and why didn't the vikings beat the spaceships in the famous match during 3076. Groggily, the human body replied.
"I came from Earth, 2001, where I was suddenly snatched to a place called the War Tavern by a man called Beauman. He then took me along with him in some sort of mission involving a Golden Knight and Jurassic Park big number. I'm going to... faint, I think. My name is Shigeru Miyamoto, and I wasn't around in 3076."
"Beauman?!? That interdemensional trouble maker? Film Crew, grab some spaceships with time warps, we're going to the War Tavern, 2001!!!"
It was the costar who asked why. She hadn't been listening, just struggling to breath in the tight outfit required for her part.
"WHY?!? To both get our star back, and apprehend Beauman! WHY ELSE?!?"
"You've got a point there....."


Jim Drab repeated what he had screamed again, to make sure he had gotten it right. Walking over to a large portrait, decorated with pictures of Razz and Snaz upon the frame, Jim repeated an anicent verse with a slight modification. "Mirrow, Mirrow, on the wall, who was the one who made Mr. Continuity fall?"
"Blagagna was the one, that chip off the brick, that son of a gun. He shot and maimed the poor old man, then hurled him through space as fast as he can."
"Mirrow, Mirrow, on the wall, show me the evil one with such gall."
With a movie special effect, the portrait twisted into a moving picture, always focusing on Blagagna. He was currently shooting and maiming and hurling through space the horse of Freelance, now known as Ancosyd. A few minutes later, Blagagna went into the War Tavern, where he was greeted like an old friend by another rabbit.
"Mirrow, Mirrow, tileset maker, who is Blagagna's friend, what namesaker?"
"The one who greats Blagagna in a manner sublime, is the possessor of a name that can simply not rhyme!"
"Mirrow's portrait, all the same, I would be obliged if you would just tell me the name. If you would please stop your rhyming, it may be enough to stop some two timing."
The portrait of Mirrow replied sulkily. "Fine. His name is Kovu."
"He must be an accomplice! KOVU MUST DIE!"

[Kovu aka Alec]

"Wait a second...how could the Shigeru Miyamoto guy who is talking to the Jurassic park dude, who I do not know about, be from 2001...since the tavern is in 2770's? Aaand how could Blagagna have killed Mr.Continuity since he appeared with Clockwork and those chaps to avenge Xavier, and Mr.Continuity
was killed early on during our adventure with knifes and the titans...?"
"Mr. Continuity IS dead, you realize." The Mirror said.
"Oh, yah...KILL KOVU!"

"Hey Blagagna, whuz happenen, in da' house, respect, word!" Kovu tried his fake ghettoiey talk on Blagagna as the later walked through the door.
"YOU again! I thought I beat you upside the head earlier."
"Earlier? That was a month ago! But anyway, yah, you did."
"Grunt..." Blagagna, being the idiot that he is and oblivious to the massive Get Better card occupying the space of the Tavern, attempted to go to the bar and get a drink, only to be stopped by Kovu.
"Hey man...can you not see the epicly porportioned Get Well, limited sparkle edition, in theaters only, comming soon, card occupying the room? The Tavern is closed."
"But the sign says open." Blagagna debated.
"No it isn't..."
"Are you bleeding blind?"
"Yes!"
And then Blagagna punched Kovu into a wall.
Suddenly, Jim Drab came riding in with a army of Plotline Hotline employees with really big nasty swords.
"KILL 'EM!"

HWDKHNWIADHANBHTATBHMACHCAHSFBAETHWNATNCS
HRDHANBDWISHDTGON was enjoying a nice, perfectly relaxed nap(Beau had left earlier, and was currently on his way to the Tavern) when a clown busted in.
"AHAH@*&@$@%&%#$*%$#!!!!!"HWDKHNWIADHANBHTATBHMACHCAHSFBAETHWNATNCS
HRDHANBDWISHDTGON shouted, horrified of clowns due to a childhood experiance.
"HEY HEY!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!"
"WAKAKADOODOOYEA!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!"
"PULL MY FINGER!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!"

[Violet CLM]

"Wait a second...how could the Shigeru Miyamoto guy who is talking to the Jurassic park dude,"



I wrote, and I quote:

Kovu walked up to some Neutron Fibers used for keeping the airlock in one piece, and used them as a wig. Shigeru Montoya, or whatever his name is, had been in the airlock at the time. Note that I said had. Sometime, thousands of years in the future, he'll probably drift onto some strange planet. In the meantime, though, Kovu looked quite fashionable.



"who I do not know about, be from 2001...since the tavern is in 2770's?"



You're dealing with different demensions here, remember? Time flows differently.....



"Aaand how could Blagagna have killed Mr.Continuity since he appeared with Clockwork and those chaps to avenge Xavier, and Mr.Continuity was killed early on during our adventure with knifes and the titans...?"



Mr. Continuity was killed many times. This time was mentioned;

"Blagagnga, with loincloth at hand and Waffle at stomach, quickly shot and maimed a nearby dead body and then hurled it through space to Tubelectric. "YOU shot and maimed Mr. Continuity and hurled him through space to Tubelectric and then hurled him through space back here and made him REALLY dead? You're so evil!" shouted Unknown. "Burp." said Blagagnga, looking for more Waffles. Unknown was close to tears, being insane. "What a group! Generation Ex was smashed on the head, the Waffle and the Loincloth were destroyed, they were replaced by a villain who ran away to come back another day, I'm insane and the last member is a worse villain then Kovu! He made Mr. Continuity REALLY dead!" Unknown was always very hyper when it came to Continuity. Meanwhile, Blagagnga walked away in search of more people to shoot and maim and hurl through space."

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

Actually... Shieguru Miyomoto was originally warped to the tavern through one of the plot-holes (which i now copyright, but did not create, just over-use:P). then i warped him back, and then somehow someone warped him back to the tavern... and he was tagging along for some unknown reason...
Note: Shieguru Miyomoto, REMEMBER THAT! Not Montoya or watever :p
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[Kovu aka Alec]

erm, uh, yes, right...

[Ducky]

*doesn't know whats happening, so escapes wi' Xavier and styles her hair elf-fashion*







Hmm hmm....

[Kovu aka Alec]

Well, the big spacy tavern dissapeared, and there was a Cannibal Feud, and Unknownie won but got rather hurt, and is now in hospital. We were making a big get well card, and Freelance chose Acoysnd as his name, and the people at Plotline Hotline want to kill me for associating with Blagagna, who killed Mr.Continuity and caused all the continuity painfulness. And Unknownie was frightened by a clown.

"KILL KOVU!" The Plotline Hotline employees, in super-spiffy battle armour, started hackin' swords and throwing, erm, shooting arrows and causing general mayhem.
"AGH!!" Kovu scrambled for escape from a near certain and rather pointy death.
"FIRE!" Suddenly, everyone in the Tavern retaliated, Ducky firing her glue gun, and Cobra whacking people upside the head with her marker, and Gennie attacking people with his hedgeclippers.
And the Titans(who could've one the battle easily and bloodlessly) just sat there.

Fun, fun fun...

[Violet CLM]

Also, the cast and crew of Jurassic Park (Large number), who come from the future of earth, are looking for space warp equipped spaceships to go back in time to the War Tavern, and kill/capture Beauman.

[Violet CLM]

Ducky rampaged around the War Tavern madly, more intent on defending the giant card then anything else. Anyone near it was quickly glued to nearby furniture, which was being thrown around by others of Jim Drab's left feet attack squad. Firing a steady stream at glue over the chandeleir (which still wasn't there) to keep it from falling, Ducky vaulted over Joe Shmoe's head in order to reach Cobra's side.

Cobra nodded at Ducky as she landed on the nearby ground, and continued smashing Hal Smith on the noodle. "SPHAGETTI!!!" cried Hal, as he sank to the ground. Uni Corny tripped over Smith in a desperate attempt to find Kovu amongst a pile of rafters that had somehow been teleported all the way from Jazz 2 City because of Buster and Gizmo (aka Evil the Cat). Screaming madly about Ryu, Gentry'sEXcapades proceeded to hedgeclip Uni Corny's elegant left shoe to Smithereenies.

Kovu cowered, throwing Pickle Jars at anyone who got close. Ducky was put out of action for a while this way, until she got her fiftieth wind and started shooting glue all over as energetically as ever. GenEX's clippers became a victim of this sticky substance, and he had to start using an electric saw to fend off the Plotline Hotline employees instead.

Blagagagagagagagagagagagagagaggagagagagagagagagaga gagagagagagagna, unnoticed by the horde of fighting bodies, walked out the door into the cool sunset, and jumped into a nearby forest in search of squirrels.

"WANT A BALLOON?!?!?!?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"KIDDIES LOVE MY MOUSETRAPS, JUST ASK THEM!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"YOU KNOW, THE FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED TO ME TODAY....."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I DIED!!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Unknown Rabbit, as the clown sprawled over, a knife sticking clean through him. And not retractable, either. And then "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" again, as a figure clad entirely in black stepped into the room. Throwing off its hood, the figure revealed itself to be......

Bill Bored, grasping a Billboard, started smashing GenuineEXtraterrestial over the head with it, all the time avoiding the Electric Saw. Gen, in panic, teleported to a distant plan- and didn't come back until the fight was over. Noticing the disappearance, Ducky fired her limitless glue faster then ever, and Cobra ran about like a whirlwind bashing people. "The Marker of Doom", the Plotline Hotline employees later called it. Some of them still have drawings on their foreheads. Kovu, meanwhile, had been scouting around under his hiding place, and had found a trapdoor.

Somehow opening it, Kovu crawled through a dark and dirty tunnel until he came to a dark and dirty door at the dark and dirty end of the (you know the drill) tunnel. Sneezing twice, Kovu used a fancy karate kick and the door exploded outwards. Stepping into a corridor, Kovu looked around. This place had all the appearance of a hospital, but no one was around. Looking into a room, Kovu gasped. All the paitents were dead, and there was a nurse slumped over one of the tables! This has to be a set for a movie. thought Kovu, and ran back to the door he had come through. However, he found the tall figure of ANTI-TUBBS blocking the way. Shivering, Kovu inquired
"What are you doing here? Why is everybody dead? Do you like my hat?"
in an inquiring voice. ANTI-TUBBS laughed, and graciously replied.
"I am here to start my quest of capturing all the 'Taverners! Once this is done, Tubbs will be forced to surrender to me! If he does not, ALL SHALL DIE!!!!! Everybody is dead because I felt like it. Your hat is terrible."
Kovu started to cry. He loved his hat. Breaking down, Kovu sagged against the wall, and cried himself to sleep. ANTI-TUBBS picked him up, threw him over his shoulder, and left the hospital. (for such it was) Throwing Kovu into the back of his van, along with DDay, Beauman, Fquist, Fire Sword, SlaYer and Kazooie, ANTI-TUBBS donned a black outfit for spooky movie type purposes, and walked to the room where Unknown Rabbit was being terrified by a clown. Throwing a knife into the clown, ANIT-TUBBS grabbed the still screaming rabbit, bed and all, and carried him away to the van's trunk. Laughing, ANTI-TUBBS drove away, keeping an eye out for Taverners. And Tubbs.

Suddenly, there was a break in the fighting. Everyone, from Ducky to Jim Drab, Cobra to a little mouse who was going unnoticed was panting and taking a break. Because of this, GenEX was forced to reappear. Apparently, he had been thinking, so he said "Why are you here and trying to destroy everything, anyway?"
"WE WANT KOVU! HE ASSISTED IN THE MURDER OF MR. CONTINUITY!"
Thinking fast, GenEX said "Sure, why not? No big loss. He was boring, anyway." Walking over to the pile of rafters, before Ducky or Cobra could stop him, GenEX used his annoying psychic powers to blast aside the rubble. Everyone gasped. There was nothing there!
Jim Drab was the first to believe he knew what was going on. "FIENDS! YOU SEEK TO HIDE HIM, AND THEN PRETEND YOU KNOW NOT OF HIS WHEREABOUTS! EMPLOYEES, REATTACK!"
Groaning, the Plotline Hotline employees started trying to rip everything to shreds again, while Ducky and Cobra recontinued gluing and whacking them. GenEX retrieved his Electric Saw and was about to teleport away again, when Ahz Sleep cracked him on the head with a two by four. GenEX slumped to the ground.

The cast and crew of Jurassic Park jumped into timeships, and blasted off, leaving notes for their mothers telling them not to worry. They might be back for dinner unless they met a terrible fate and died horribly.
The director's ship flew in the lead, leading the fleet of timeships. Once they were all pointing in the general direction it would take to get to the War Tavern, in the past. (The past of the future is the present, remember?) Turning on the time warp easter eggs, the C&CJP (Cast And Crew of Jurassic Park) blasted off. The journey took no time at all, as they were going back in time the whole way. Landing, C&CJP turned on their Beauman radars and chased after ANTI-TUBBS' truck.

ANTI-TUBBS, looking in his rear-view mirror, noticed a large army of humans chasing his truck on.... motor scooters. The scooters were much faster then his van, and they were obviously trying to stop him, so his only choice was to do some evasive maneuvers. Turning onto a dirt road, the ANTI-TUBBS van (Tm) careened over bridges and through fields. The motor scooters followed, using their radar to find out which way Beauman (in the back of the trunk) had went. Finally, giving up, ANTI-TUBBS resolved that if he couldn't have his prisoners, NO ONE ELSE COULD EITHER!!!! Pushing the pedal to the medal, ANTI-TUBBS drove his van straight at a cliff edge. Amazingly, the wheels caught on a rock, and ANTI TUBBS and all his captives in the trunk went flying out of the van....


over hill and dale....


straight into the open door of the War Tavern. Undaunted, the C&CJP's scooters continued to follow, right inside.


Beauman looked around, in a dazed sense. Him, DDay, Fquist, Fire Sword, SlaYer, Kazooie, Ducky, Cobra, Kovu and GenEX were trapped in a dark corner of the War Tavern. At the main door, an army of futuristic filmmakers stood, shouting "GIVE US THE GOLDEN KNIGHT, ALIVE! GIVE US BEAUMAN, DEAD OR ALIVE!" At the entrance to the basement and his shop, ANTI-TUBBS glowered, trying to piece together a do it yourself easy assembly BIG BAZOOKA. Guarding the only trapdoor in the whole place were a bunch of boring looking people, undoubtably Plotline Hotline people shouting "WE WANT KOVU! WE WANT KOVU! AND BLAGAGNA!". ANTI-TUBBS, not to mention the two groups, started advancing towards the 'Taveners, who were huddled. Cobra's marker had been snatched away in the fight, and was being weilded by a muscled cameo appearance maker from Jurassic Park. Ducky's Glue Gun was out of glue, GenEX's Electric Saw had been broken in two, Beauman was out of plotholes, Batty Buddy wasn't there with or withous his backpack and Unknown Rabbit was still in bandages, unable to do much. It all seemed hopeless, thought Beauman, as Jim Drab aimed a Boremaster 3000 at Kovu.....







INTERMISSION:



Ancosyd walked into the "Superheros in Need of Work" office. The receptionist raised her eyebrows. "You again? This is the sixth time this week you've been here, and it's tuesday!"
"I just need a job. It's in my blood. I want to fight evil warlords, vanquish henchman! I WANT TO BE A WORLDWIDE BEST SELLER!!!"
"You know, I think we might have an opening... how would you like to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts?"







BACK TO THE STORY:



Ducky brightened. All the War Tavern frequenters except Ducky and Unknown Rabbit turned to her, as she spoke the words that saved them from a number of deaths.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS! NO MORE FIGHTING! PEACE AND GOODWILL!"

And everyone agreed, and everybody started dancing except for Unknown Rabbit, who lay slumped against a wall in bandages, examining his get well card. After a while, Beauman went into his shop and got out a plothole, and stuck it on the roof. Presents for all rained out, and there was much rejoicing.

Then Alantrium (Ze Golden Knight, no?) fell through, and the C&CJP went away, thanking the 'Taverners for an enjoyable evening.

Ducky showed ANTI-TUBBS it was much more fun to be a good doer then an evil doer, so he went and got jobs at some publishing companies, and kept dropping various hints about JJ3 until he was fired for eating the opposition's favorite flavor donut instead of their own. ANTI-TUBBS then went to the opposition, which paid better, and continued dropping hints about JJ3.

[Violet CLM]

Kovu explained slowly to Jim Drab and Co. that he had only been waving to Blagagna as a way to wave him away, so he wouldn't interfere with the greetings card, and that they hated eachother anyway. Jim and his cohorts were satisfied, so they went charging out the door in search of Blagagna. They might even find him some day. Who knows?

The Titans, who could have saved all the Taverners with ease if they had felt like it meaning that Ducky had had to bring up Christmas, lounged around in various positions. They could care less what was going on.






Aaaaaaaaand a new plot is needed. Sorry I destroyed all the old ones at once, but they were mine anyway. :p


----------------------------------------------------------------


Sorry for the double post, but my first one exceeded the maximum number of characters.

[Kovu aka Alec]

Ancoysnd lept about, walking down the hallway in Opposition Publishing Co. Inc.
He was to be the superhero in there new superhero flagship, the AMAZING GUY! And his producer was some guy named Mr. Ante Tubbes.
Oddly, the name sounded familiar.
*knock knock*
"Erm, hello, Mr. Oddly Familiar sounding Ante Tubbes, 'tis me, the AMAZING GUY, ready for issue 1."
"Excellent, come in." Ancoysnd(aka Lance aka the AMAZING GUY)
strode in. Instantly, Mr. Ante Tubbes(aka ANTI-TUBBS) recognized him as Lance from the Tavern. Then, as he chomped down on his opposition doughnut, an idea formed.
"Ah, good, just have a seat, I'll be right back." Ancoysnd complied, and ANTI-TUBBS delved into the closet, and found...
"Excellent, thease glasses which I purchased from Beauman at his shop, almost two months a go now, which make normal people seem like vile, villanous monsters, give me the perfect plan..."
"Erm, did j00 say something, sir?"
"Ahm, no...listen, put thease on, they'll bring together you're entire costume.
"Erm, okay." Ancoysnd grabbed the glasses and placed them on."
"Okay, here is where you must fight you're first battle, go right away...and don't look at anyone on the way." ANTI-TUBBS handed Ancoysnd a piece of paper.
"Hmm, 122 War Tavern Road...that too is oddly familiar sounding...ahwell, thanks publisher ANTE-TUBBES man."
And so, in a puff of pepperoni and theme music, Ancoysnd aka Lance aka the AMAZING GUY flew off, and ANTI-TUBBS cackled evilly.
"MWAHA, now, he will go to the tavern and defeat his friends, mwaha....gawh, why am I saying everything I'm thinking so anybody can hear..." ANTI-TUBBS stated, again, as three former Plotline Hotline now Opposition Publishing Co. Inc. employees huddled around his door.
"We can't let this happen...they told us where Blagagna was..."

TEH POLT TICHKENS!!!

[Ducky]

I was ALMOST understanding this... until...

That small post by Unknownie after the long one by Unknownie.
Yeah.


Okay...so ...

I would um...

reply...

but.... I need enlightenment :(

~Duckaaay

[VelKa]

uhhh....want some Twinkies? they enlighten anyone. =P

[Kovu aka Alec]

Well, all the Plotline Hotline and JP fellows flew away 'cause o' Christmas and ANTI-TUBBS worked at a publishing company until he ate the opposition doughnut and went tot he opposition publishing company. And Ancoysnd is looking for job openings in the Super Hero field.
And, it just so happens, that ANTI-TUBBS becomes Ancoysnd(now the AMAZING GUY) manager, thinks up a plot, give him a set of glasses which makes allies look like vile hideous monsters which he purchased from Beauman, and told him to go to the Tavern...
However, all this was overheard by former Plotline Hotline Employees...

[Kaz]

The viewpoints of everybody faded and Kaz came in with one spotlight on him. He started to say, "Even though I have no clue what's going on... I claim the 800th post and 21st page!!"
And then he ran and things resumed.

[Kovu aka Alec]

Spoot! I should've claimed the page *pout*

[Violet CLM]

No appreciation of long posts around here. *Grumble*

More story from me tomorrow, maybe.

[Violet CLM]

"I'm not sure they actaully told us where Blagagna was, did they?" asked a former employee called Druff. Dan Druff.
"But they got us out of a heap of trouble with those formidable Hedge Clippers, and that's worth rewarding!" responded a sturdy female employee with the namesake of Miss Directed.
"Yes," said Dan, "but this is our boss! If we went against our new boss, he might fire us and we'd have to go to Opposition's Opposition Publishing Co. Inc.!"
"Always a dreadful thing, Opposition's Opposition." replied the one who had started the whole conversation, a former former weight lifter named Stan Dear. "I hear you can't even wear AMAZING GUY! undershorts without being fired and sent to Opposition's Opposition's Opposition Publishing Co. Inc., also known as Opposition Publishing Co. Inc., which is where we work now."
Miss Directed puzzled on this for a moment, and then raised her index finger and said "So if we get fired from Opposition Publishing Co. Inc., we'd get sent to Opposition's Opposition Publishing Co. Inc., where we could get sent back here where it pays better just by sleeping under AMAZING GUY! bedsheets! We've got nothing to worry about! Let's try and save the Taverners!"
Stan Dear, in a futile attempt to be unoriginal, also raised his index finger. Thumbing through the pages, he hit upon "SAVING, SAVINGS, SAVING CREAM". Turning to Saving, Stan read the following.

''Saving people from evil tyrants is generally done by a group of middle age heros or four children and a dog. If you are neither of these, forget about it.''

Miss Directed looked beaten for a moment, then snapped her fingers. After the company doctor managed to put them back together, she said what she was going to say before being an invalid. "I've got it! Let's use some of the Plotline Hotline machines to get either a group of middle age heros or four children and a dog to rescue the Taverners from certain plot twists!"
Dan Druff brightened, then went out. When he came back in, he looked unhappy. This could or could not have something to do with the fact he was. "No can do, Dir'. They took away our PLHL keys after we were fired."
"Why were we fired, anyway?" asked Stan Dear, playing with his toes.
"We were independant thinkers, instead of merely doing whatever Jim Drab told us to do. Anyway, we don't need keys! Jim Drab and the rest are still running around in the War Tavern world. I was the last one out of Plotline Hotline, and I left the door open!"
"Dir', you are a wonder." said Dan. "The only question is, how do we get back there? I know that I have no idea where it is located."
"Actually, that's a rather simple problem." said Stan, trying to suck his left heel. "We merely go into Mario world1, and enter that Warp Central or whatever it's called. Then we warp to Plotline Hotline's alternate universe, or wherever it's located."
"Have you ever thought that for every story in existance, there is a Plotline Hotline, and the one we come from is merely one in a vast multiverse of Plotline Hotlines, all desperately trying to keep track of what the various characters are up to?"
"Now that you mention it, no."
"Back to buisness, though, how do we get to Mario world1? I haven't gotten my pay check this week yet, and I spent my last one on Racoon Feed."
"YOU HAVE A RACOON?!? THEY'RE SO CUTE!"
At this point Miss Directed spoke up again. "We should have no problem getting to Mario world1. Simply click the Jazz2Online link at the bottom of the page, search the downloads section for uploads by Hellraiser and download Mario world1."
"Far out."
"Quite. Let's get cracking, shall we?"
So Dan, Stan and Directed clicked on the link at the bottom of the page and vanished.


ANTE TUBBES continued to speak his thoughts aloud. "I wonder if the Discovery Channel's on today!"***

Alantrium aka The Golden Knight finished reading "WAR AND PEACE" and turned to some books by Elizabeth Moon. Apparently some of the sets of the movie had been destroyed by the dinosaurs getting loose and rampaging around the world in eighty days, so he had plenty of time on his hands before he had to do some more acting. Besides, he was getting paid for goofing off while the crew (not the cast) went all over chasing dinosaurs, which mainly only served to frighten them, so they rampaged further and destroyed more. Good thing he was being paid a fixed rate, and not depending on how well the movie sold, for he had a feeling people would be pretty sick of dinosaurs. Maybe once everything was over, he could take a vacation to somewhere in some other dimension. That would be nice.

[Violet CLM]

GenEX continued to tell tales of his hedgeclipper heroism to the little school children that had come for a field trip. They had finally gotten over Admael's claiming Super Rabbit was a fake, and had shifted their admiration to AMAZING GUY!. GenEX was just describing how the evil villains were descending on him, and he smashed all five million of them on the head with one blow while Ducky and Cobra were cowering in a corner, when the door exploded outward, just to be different. A mysterious figure walked in mysteriously, and drew his cloak (all mysterious figures have cloaks! And capes!) around his face more tightly. He was wearing long pants, cowboy boots, a large jacket, two pairs of gloves on each hand and a large sombrero. No skin was visible. For some reason, the lights dimmed, to add to the effect. The little school children screamed and hid behing GenEX, imploring him to attack the scary guy with his ferocious hedgeclippers of doom which had been enchanted in a previous incarnation by the great Misfitzio while trying to trap GenEX with his futile powers equal to about ten times that of Chickens. GenEX did a Kovu and jumped through the trap door, which was quite a feat as it was closed at the time. Once all the scared ones had jumped into the trapdoor, ran into a wall, fled out the door or fainted, five beings were left awake in the 'Tavern. The mysterious figure, Ducky, Cobra, Unknown Rabbit (who couldn't have left if he wanted to) and Gizmo, who was washing his face. Oh right, the school childen remained as well. Suddenly, the mysterious figure shed his concealing garments, and revealed himself in all his glory as the amazing AMAZING GUY!. (aka Ancosyd (aka Freelance)) Seeing the enamored school children through his evilish glasses, AMAZING GUY! used his super strength to pick up all the bar stools at once and fling them at the school children. They fled. Oddly enough, AMAZING GUY!'s sales never afterwards were quite what they had been. Especially after the board of directers ordered the series to stop. Gizmo chased his tail.

Dan, Stan Dear and Dir' walked carefully into Plotline Hotline. Stan Dear had still not regrown his hair from the adventures in the Boondocks with the Kailia Fraze, and Miss Directed might never get her starboard noses back, but other then that there had been no difficulty reaching the hallowed halls of Plotline Hotline. Nervously, Dan Druff edged towards the Radical Plot o' Matical while the scary music grew louder. Suddenly, a bat flew down from the ceilling and said "BOO!" loudly. All three jumped backwards several paces, Stan Dear colliding with a wall in the process. "May I inquire both your name and your reason being here, bat?" asked Miss Directed, regaining her composure. "I'm here because I feel like it." said Batty Buddy.*

Blagagna prowled around the woods of Wabbit Woasters uncomfortably. The sheer magical aura was beginning to give him a brain, and he was realising that shooting and maiming and hurling through space to various places people and other animals was wrong. Stomping on a squirrel's head, Blagagna was pondering if he should change his ways or not when Newspaz joined the server and blew him into smithereenies on accident. "|Newspaz roasted Blagagna" read the non-existant screen. Newspaz had no idea he had just terminated an exciting member of the current plot, so he ran around shooting at various bushes until someone else joined. Nobody ever did find out who had been hosting.****

Unknown Rabbit feebly got out his book of Bumble Bee pictures which he had gotten from Teh Great God Agama during the adventure with the stones, and adoringly looked at the cutey creatures. Suddenly he felt a sudden urge to sleep, so he did so.

Isabelle Kettlesore, a reminant of the late Jurassic period, tore through updown Humanhattan. She was eating some plastic fruit from a screaming lady's hat, thinking of her lucky cohorts who were eating the delicacies of Mini Sodas and Mini Apples when the police arrived. "HALT IN THE NAME OF THE LAW!!" one shouted, even as he was stepped on. Such bothersome distractions, thought Isabelle, sticking her inquisitive head into a bakery. Yum, more food! Suddenly she was hit by a restraining beam, and she saw that man who was always giving her instructions on what position to be, and talking about plot and cameras, whatever that meant. A large helicopter descended, she was trapped in a cage and taken back to the set of Jurassic Park large number, where she met up with other dinosaurs that had been captured by similar methods.

Disguise's latest tileset was released, and the nurse who had been trapped in it until it was was free. Walking back to the hospital, she was naturally shocked to see all her coworkers dead in various positions. Stealing some loose change, she felt something growing inside her. She raised her left arm into the air, struck a Kirby pose, and proclaimed a proclomation. "I SHALL AVENGE THEE, SHALL IT TAKE A THOUSAND BANDAGES!" Just then, a meteor struck nearby, the same type that had hit on Libarius just before the Kilts. A strange, green coating swept over the nurse, and she was transformed into a indefeatable, superhuman, godlike being. Because there was only one of her, the effects were not limited at all, and in fact still haven't stopped to this day. Yes, she was now known as.....

ULTRA NURSE! Super Hero on the side of Sterilized Napkins!**
Running with super napkin speed, Ultra Nurse ran to Dan Druff's house and collected his adorable racoon for a kid sidekick which would later die in issue 256 in a brutal confrontation with ULTRA PATIENT which would make sales skyrocket. Racoons are so cute.

Kaz kept running.

Darth Vader, after numerous baths, finally managed to get all the lemon pies off of him. Suing the creators of Space Balls, he went about with his evil plans, until Luke arrived, at which point he died along with his master. Luke, I am your Disaster. Yup yup. Am I losing your interest here or something?




Again, sorry about the double post. I exceeded the maximum number of characters AGAIN.
*No, I don't know how Batty Buddy got there. Continuity is dead.
**Not just a short gag, meant to be used in future continuations.
***Probably.
****The number of stars has nothing to do with the order they appear in.

[Kovu aka Alec]

"I'm fired?!" Ancoysnd aka Lance aka AMAZING GUY could not believe his ears.
"Yah-huh, you didn't kill everybody in the Taver--uhm...set...yea..."
"But...but...waaaaaah...." Ancoysnd stalked out of the room, plotting revenge on ANTI-TUBBS.

"Owwiee!" Kovu yelped in pain, as he removed his skull from a large metal object.
"Skullie*, what're you doing out there?" *PLOP*
Once his brain redecorated the interior of his newly dusted skull, Kovu took a look around.
"Where in the hel-erm, excuse me, heck, am I?" Finding himself in an abysall maze of tunnels was rather disenhearting.
"Well, my mama** always told me that water grows on the bottom side of floors, so I should go south!" Kovu then chose a random direction, naming it south, and headed that way.

AND YOU MIGHT BE ASKING, HOW DID BATTY BUDDY GET INTO THE PLOTLINE HOTLINE? WELL, I'M GONNA TELL YOU!

Last time we left our Bat, he was lost in Kiku...er...Sakura, er...Agent Megum's dark abyssy thingy, I think, about 10 pages ago.***

"Help meeeee!" The Batness cried out desperatley, feeling the cold grip of the abyssy thingy wrap around him.
"Ungoodieness!"(And somewhere, far far away, Kovu got the sense someone was stealing his line)
BatBud walked for hours, until he saw a dull glowing.
"What in a?" Suddenly, a strange creature appeared infront of him.
"Kirby! What're you doing here?"
"..."
"Well, can't you talk?"
"..."
"Okay!"

"Hmm... all this delicate scientific planning is...tiring..." Ancoysnd mulled over his stack of stick drawings of ANTI-TUBBS dying.
"I wonder if the Discovery channel is on?" He said, walking over to his MEGA-TV which he kept in the secret hideout(which he got to keep due to the speedyness of his firing)
"Oh lookie! Steve Irwin!"

"THIIIISSS IS DAAAA WAAAYYY WWWWWWWWEE WAASH OUUUR FAAACE!****" Kovu sang brokenly, to keep himself from going insane as he attempted to navigate the vast sewerish tunnels.
"It's a me, Mario!" He heard a haunting voice...
"What the?" He turned around just in time to see a fat plumber barrel down the tunnel, the force of which, throwing him wildly like a doll.

"Thanks Kirby! Who knew you had a band and a spaceship and millions of bucks! Thanks for dropping me off!" BatMan shouted to Kirby, who waved from his spaceship.
"..."
"No, no, this dimension will do just fine!" Battie began walking down the intricate, very clean corridors of clean, mechanical dimension he now found himself in. Eventually he came to a door.
"Retinal scan commencing, hello Batty Buddy." A computer voice said.
"Cool, I guess I'm accepted***** in high-tech stations across the universe!" The door opened with a mechanical hiss, revealing the image of a coke machine with a red guy painted on it. It began singing mechanically,******
"Hello, consumer, yes hello, consumer, bah bup bada bah, BeBop Cola!"
"Ooh, a coke machine!" Baten looked over the options.
"Ah! A Mingus Dew!" He said, putting in a dollar and pressing the button. The machine sang.
"And I say to myself, I need exact change."
"That IS exact change!"
"And I say to myself, I need exact change."
"Stupid machine!" Bat began pushing it, and it fell over ontop of him.

"And so, the inverted blue octopus lays it's clutch of eggs in the crabs still beating heart, and they hatch, devouring the crab alive. This has been a presentation of the BBC and Discovery channel, good night." Ancoysnd chuckled, and then said,
"Boy, all that edjumacation get's me thirsty, I wonder if this place has a coke machine." He wandered around, until he found one, with a red guy painted on it. It sang.
"Hello, consumer yes hello, consumer. Bah bup bahdah bah, BeBop Cola!" Ancoysnd looked through what the machine had to offer.
"Ooh! A Mingus Dew!" I proceeded to put in money, and push the button.
"And I say to myself, I need exact change."
"I GAVE YOU EXACT CHANGE!"
"ANd I say to myself, I need exact change."
"Stupid machine!" Ancoysnd, pushed the machine, and, in like, it fell on him.

When Kovu awoke after being Mario pummeled, he found himself in a beautiful white room, with a coke machine in the middle.
"Is this heaven? Oh look, a coke machine!" And the machine, it did sing,
"Hello, consumer yes hello, consumer, bahbup bahdah bah, BeBop Cola!" Kovu's eyes immediatley saw his favorite drink.
"Ohh, a Mellow Tangerino! My favorite!" Kovu put in the money, and pressed the button, the machine quickly chugged out a Mellow Tangerino, and Kovu began to walk off into the white, fluffy goodness. Until, the machine began to shake violently.
"What the?" The machine jumped up right over Kovu.
"Bah bup bahdah bah, BeBop Cola!" And, ofcourse, the machine landed on Kovu.

With all three of our heros caught 'neath BeBop cola machines, I shall narrate each funkyly.

"Oh, man! Is anything down there not broken...no..." Bat said dismally.
"Okay, just gotta keep my cool, everything will be alright." Ancoysnd assured himself. Suddenly, Kovu heard a noise, and then saw a scorpion walk upto him, and sit there, looking at him................
and then it lept on his face and stang him seven times.
"Ahahaha!" And jumped off.
"Oh, venom....coarsing through my veins." Bat managed.
"Gonna...black out...noo...noo, you've been through tougher scrapes than this!" Ancoysnd shouted.
And just then, out of the cola machine a coke shot out at sonic speeds, hitting Kovu in the face and knocking a tooth out.
"Awwooh...ohhh... that was my tooth!" Batbud cried. Suddenly, a small robot crawled upto Ancoysnd.
"Oh! It's some sort of rescue toaster!" Kovu cried for joy.
"Go get help little buddy!" Bat said. Then, the robot just picked up it's tooth and walked off.
Then, the machine launched another coke, knocking two more teeth out of Ancoysnd's head, and the robot returned, collecting the teeth.
"What're you making, a necklace?!" Kovu cried.
Months, prehaps years pass...
Bat bud, with a beard growing, snores, still stuck under the cola machine. The scorpion walks in, pushing a coke with his claws.
"Shut up! Ah...oh, it's you ben!" Ancoysnd says.
"*Click* *click* *chirp* *click*"
"Oh, oh well that's good, what's on the menu for today?" Kovu asks.
"Oh, a Orange Bedornge, yummy!" Batto says, and the scorpion punctures the can with it's tail, the pressurised juice flying into Ancoysnd's mouth.
"Oh, thank you, ben!" Kovu says.
"*Chirp* *click*" Ben walks back.
"Hey ben...hehe....what're you doing, that tickles!" Bat chuckles.
Ben crawls back up.
"*Click* *Chirp* *Chirp*"
"You what?" Ancoysnd asked.
"*Chirp* *Click*"
"Oh! Oh! You laid you're brood of eggs in my navel? We're gonna be mommies!" Kovu cried for joy. Suddenly, a coke shot from the machine, knocking a tooth out.
"Oh! That was my last tooth!" Batty shouted. And the robot, with a necklace of teeth, comes in and scoops it up.
"Oh, that's it, go get him Ben!" Ancoysnd cries, and Ben attacks. For a while, the two circle each other.
"Go for the eyes!" Kovu encourages.
Then, the robot brings out a large monkey wrench..........

"*Click*"
SQUISH!
"YOU! YOU KILLED BEN!" Bat shouted.
"And you're eggs, there hatching...there orphans!" Ancoysnd cried.
"I"m getting angry! You wouldn't like me angry!" Kovu became green and super strong, throwing the coke machine off of him.
"Batty!"
"Ancoysnd!"
"Kovu!"
"Smash Robot!" The robot fled, but too slowly, and they, green and covered in scorpion larvae, smashed the robot to pieces, in the name of ben. Suddenly, then, underneath all of them, a trap door opened, and they all found eachother in a large, black room, swarming with scorpion larvae.
"Ancoysnd...Bat?"
"Kovu? Ancoysnd?"
"Bat? Kovu?"
"What're you guys doing covered in scorpion larvae too?"
Suddenly, a dark, mechanical, menacing voice piped in.
"Bah buh bahdah bah, BeBop Cola!!"

*Skullie, Kovu's name for his skull, not to be confused with a charachter from the X-Files
**Mama is actually a referance to M.A.M.A. Mehcaniced Automated Mega Android, a creature Kovu encountered earlier
in his adventures.
***Actually, I dunno when we last saw Bat, and since this was in a flashback, his experiance with BeBop cola should be out of sync with everyone elses....ahwell, I"m writing it...And I forgot what
Kiku's shadowy joint was really called...
****Unlike the childrens song, this is a reference to a Cat food commercial, in which the Cat sings this song, while licking it's paws after eating the unspecified cat food brand.
*****Referance to how credit cards are accepted, y'know, like "Visa, the only card accepted worldwide." etc.
******The rest of this post is ENTIRELY based and copied from something else...
however, if no one notices....erm....I thought of it...yeah....

[Violet CLM]

Aaaaaaaaaand, ANOTHER flashback! To what happened in the War Tavern AFTER AMAZING GUY! drove out the school children!


AMAZING GUY! used his super strength to pick up all the bar stools at once and fling them at the school children. They fled. Oddly enough, AMAZING GUY!'s sales never afterwards were quite what they had been. Especially after the board of directers ordered the series to stop. Gizmo chased his tail perfectly, while Ducky hurled odd phrases either copied from books by famous authors or that were to tell the truth famous quotations but just had the sound of having been made up on the spot by a rabbit whose species is easily mistaken by ones who don't know as much about famous quotations as she does. "Ow!" shouted AMAZING GUY!, being hit by {You're a far better man then I, Gunga Din!}. "I'm not Gunga Din, you monster with purple horns, a green face and warts on your nose! You look like a refugee from Hoyle Classic Games' Old Maid!" (Don't ask. Please.) Unknown Rabbit woke up for long enough to tell Ducky what that meant, and it so infuriated her that she threw "Cows? Who eats [ugh] Cows?" at AMAZING GUY!, smacking AMAZING GUY! right in the eye, puncturing a hole in the evil glasses. This was really quite an odd experiance for AMAZING GUY!, as one eye showed monsters, and part of the other eye showed people he almost knew... from a long time ago that probably wasn't that long ago but for the purposes of this continuation was described as having possibly been and so ad infinitem.

Cobra realized that you can not ban a member who was already banned, so she resorted to brute force, and grabbed the marker once more. Sadly, AMAZING GUY! saw it as a huge Bazooka now in gigantic version and blew it to bits with his Laser vision which he didn't have before and will never have again as it would make him too powerful, wot wot? Out of the ruins of Cobra's belovwed giant marker sprang fantasticillions upon untouchablillions of little Infestication Aigs, which upon touching the stars around AMAZING GUY!'s head after he was hit by another quote (I MAY BE DIEING, BUT I'M TAKING YOU WITH ME!) turned into a strange process known as the Float Factor to those privleiged enough to read Larry Marder's Tales Of The Beanworld. The Float Factor, following the Float Factor's nature, simply hung around in the air, unmoving. GenEX, whose sigh kick powers had informed him of the nature of AMAZING GUY!'s glasses, promptly jumped onto the Float Factor (which you can jump upon all day and they won't budge) and started snipping at the evil glasses. Soon, they fell off entirely, and AMAZING GUY! was back to normal, seeing his old friends. Then he saw GenEX.

"I'm fired?!" Ancoysnd aka Lance aka AMAZING GUY could not believe his ears.
"Yah-huh, you didn't kill everybody in the Taver--uhm...set...yea..."
"But...but...waaaaaah...." Ancoysnd stalked out of the room, plotting revenge on ANTI-TUBBS. The rest had been friends! He had killed the only monster there, which had been presumably casting a spell on the others which made them also assume hideous appearances. Rubbing his nose, which still smarted from {Gonna eat a lot of Peaches.}, Ancoysnd took a cab to his apartment, where he went over to his drawing board, where he made stick figure drawings. "Hmm... all this delicate scientific planning is...tiring..." Ancoysnd mulled over his stack of stick drawings of ANTI-TUBBS dying. "I wonder if the Discovery channel is on?" He said, walking over to his MEGA-TV which he kept in the secret hideout(which he got to keep due to the speedyness of his firing) "Oh lookie! Steve Irwin!"

Several hours later:

"And so, the inverted blue octopus lays it's clutch of eggs in the crabs still beating heart, and they hatch, devouring the crab alive. This has been a presentation of the BBC and Discovery channel, good night." Ancoysnd chuckled, and then said, "Boy, all that edjumacation get's me thirsty, I wonder if this place has a coke machine." He wandered around, until he found one, with a red guy painted on it. It sang. "Hello, consumer yes hello, consumer. Bah bup bahdah bah, BeBop Cola!" Ancoysnd looked through what the machine had to offer. "Ooh! A Mingus Dew!" I proceeded to put in money, and push the button. "And I say to myself, I need exact change." "I GAVE YOU EXACT CHANGE!" "And I say to myself, I need exact change." "Stupid machine!" Ancoysnd, pushed the machine, and, in like, it fell on him.


End of flashback, dude.


Unknown Rabbit snored, slumped against the wall like GenEX. He hadn't been awake, so he did not know of the hideous deed that had been done. Kovu was having various adventures with a coke machine, a scorpion and stuff. Ducky was looking horrified, and Cobra was standing in an Admin approved pose, looking at the body of the banned trouble maker who had somehow stuck around anyway. There wasn't any possibility that he was faking it, or that a restractable knife had been used, as you can't really fake your head being split open like a canteloupe. That AMAZING GUY! aka Freelance aka Ancoysnd had a very powerful punch.

Suddenly, Ultra Nurse burst in, Racoon in tow oozing cuteness. Some of it landed on the War Tavern, which promptly turned pink. Singing birds and flowers appeared all around it. Ducky took in the nurse outfit, however modified, in a minute, and so asked Ultra Nurse "Oh, Nurse in a modified uniform, can you help this departed comrade, whose head is split open like a canteloupe?"
"Not I, for bandages can not bring one back to life, except in MAD parodies of Little Orphan Annie. But the Racoon shall assist. Go, Racoonie!"
So the Racoon ambled over in the way Racoons have of ambling, and shook some cuteness onto GenEX. As a head split open like a canteloupe isn't very cute, it instantly righted itself, and GenEX sprang back into life. The only trouble was that he was now singing Muppets songs, and wanting to watch the Brady Bunch all the time. After being thanked gratefully, Ultra Nurse and the Racoon sped out of the door in search of new patients with paitence. And there was a little celebrating, until everybody fled from Brady Bunch except Unknown Rabbit, who was still asleep. Obviously, Ultra Nurse had forgot to tend to him.

Batty Buddy spun around. A giant BeBop cola machine was walking up to them on hideous legs made out of soda cans, holding a shook up soda bottle in one of its non-existant hands. "DON'T SHOOT!" cried the Cartoon, ducking behind Ancosynd's big, bulky form. Kovu grabbed his automatic Epic Novel Launcher 4000.50 (tm) just in case, which he didn't have before, so he could fight Saga to Soda with the awesome soda machine. "And I say to myself, I need exact change." said the immense construction of modern thirst annoyingly. Suddenly, Kovu got a brain wave. He shouted "I GAVE YOU EXACT CHANGE!" The machine said in a perky voice "And I say to myself, I need exact change." again, then jumped into the air. Kovu quickly sidekicked away, and the BeBop cola thingy smashed into the ground, and right through. Batty Buddy exclaimed it was just like a cartoon, and asked Kovu how he had thought of it, who explained he had gotten the idea from a match of Cannibal Feud. They then went their seperate ways, having no idea where they were.

Kovu ended up in a Pickle Factory, where he got a job that paid well and became quite prosperous and never went to the War Tavern again until he next did.

Ancosynd ended up at the unemployment office again, where the receptionist looked at him oddly. Back to square one.

And Batty Buddy arrived at Plotline Hotline, where he made a nest in the rafters for a few days until swooping down to meet a trio of freethinking looking people.



Fun!

[Kovu aka Alec]

"OMNI-BOT! Can you hear me?!" A CEO of BeBop Corp. shouted down the great chasm created by the Cola droid.
"Bee---bop---col-l-l-a..." A small, cracked, mechanical voice piped up.
"Don't worry, help is on the way!" The CEO, by the name of none other than Jim Drab, former head of the PLHL of the Warstories Continuity.
"This is the last straw! First they house Blagagna...who killed Mr.Continuity, and now they've hunted me down, foiled my Rescue Toaster, and destroyed the OMNI-BOT...that's it! My minions, cometh!" Jim Drab cried forth, and thousands of Ben class scorpions swarmed overhim, merging together, and formed...
"I...AM....SCORPI-CEO!"

It was a normal day in Happy Puppy Pickle, Co. Pickles being havested, pickled, bottled, lids being screwed on to tightly, jars put in crates, and being shiped off to food stuff stores Carrotous-wide. It came as a surprise to Kovu when the loudspeaker activated,
"Number 349568231, please report to my office." It was the president.
*Gulp* Kovu went to the office.
"Is that you, Number 349568231?"
"Y-yes sir?"
"You have bottled 30,000 jars since you joined us a month ago, yes?"
"Y-y-yes, sir..."
"Excellent work, I'm promoting you to Manager of Bottle Operations, with a raise."
"Really sir? Thank you, sir!"
"Very good, now, remember, when need that shipment for the War Tavern by next week."
"War Tavern? That sounds vaugely familiar...ahwell, yes sir, it'll be ready." Kovu beamed.
"Sweet!"

"No Superhero openings! How can this be?" Ancoysnd asked.
"I'm sorry Mr. Smithersommerson. Due to video games, the comic industry is really suffering."
"Video games, eh?" After a long plane flight and a couple of dimensional jumps...
"Hello, Mistah Smithersomm--something, welcome to Nintendo Incorporated! I hope you enjoy you're position of temporary head designer while I go on my vacation."
"Sure will, Mister Miyamoto!" And with that, Shigeru Miyamoto, clad in a hawaiian shirt with one of those drinks with the little umbrellas in it, strode into a super long limo.
"Be back in two months!"
"Sweet!" Lance cheered under his breath.

"Remind me why we are here again?" Cobra asked Ducky.
"Well, Gen is gonna do something incredibly stupid to meet the second assistant costume designers coffe holder of the Brady Bunch." Ducky said, while hefting the still sleeping Unknown.
"There he is now!" Cobra shouted. Gen walked into the middle of a large field of grass, where the competiton was being held.
"What's he gonna do?"
"I dunno..."
And suddenly, Gen brought out a huge container of gasoline, poured it all over himself, and lit himself ablaze.
"Oh my God..." The judges held up '10', '10', '10', and 'I want my mommie.'

"Who the heck are you?" One of the miscellanious PLHL employees asked.
"I am Batty Buddy!"
"And what are you doing here?"
"Listen, I have some important and very plot altering information!"
"Sweet! What is it?"
"Listen--it is extremely important that..."

And so, as the crabs corpse is riddled by the Octopus larvae, they break of, and become a part of the delecate bed of krill, until they mature into the deadly, inverted blue octopus! This has been a continuation of the BBC and Discovery Channel.

[Violet CLM]

SCORPI-CEO (Scorpico is much easier to remember/pronounce, don't you think?) thundered through the hall ways of a inconvienlently badly lit place fortunately furnished with lots of hall ways to thunder down in evil mode sheerly for the sake of having met your quota of sucessfully thundered hallways.. A few real life turtles tried to get out of SCORPI-CEO's path, but moved slowly, and were stepped on. SCORPI-CEO slipped and fell every time, which caused him and the Ben-class scorpions to unmerge for a little bit. After the OMNI BE BOT COLA machine had been freed from the giant.... hole, it had acted upon a flaw in its programming and had promptly opened the soda bottle held in its non existant hand. Everyone had been soaked. Making odd scorpion noises, SCORPI-CEO dismissed the idea of taking over Turtemple in order to gather more legions for attempting to take over the War Tavern and slaughter the inhabitants, and went about his daily job of prosecuting trespassers who had accidentally trespassed on their own land by mistake.

Kovu continued bottling pickles. So far, he had filled 3000 of the odd 40000019000.02 Pickle Bottles (tm) that were supposed to be sent to the War Tavern for an unknown reason, and he was getting tired. Leaning on a Pickle Bottle (tm), Kovu read the reason for this shipment for the first time. The handwriting was very scrawly, like you might find written by someone with clear handwriting, who was sleepwriting drunk. He couldn't make any words out, except the last three, which as far as he could tell read "welcome back party." Knowing it wasn't his buisness to wonder, Kovu continued Bottling Pickles. So far, he had filled 3026 of the odd 40000019000.02 Pickle Bottles (tm) that were supposed to be sent to the War Tavern for an unknown reason, and he was getting tired. He suddenly figured out that his promotion allowed him to order others to assist him, so he promptly (so much easier then suddenly) did. The job went much faster, and the odd 40000019000.02 Pickle Bottles (tm) were ready just a day before they were noted down to be shipped in a car, to be different from being cargoed into a ship.

The guy whose initials are SM lounged around in a beach chair, wearing his sunglasses, straw hat, shorts and hawian shirt, drinking ice cold lemonade through a straw. He suddenly figured out it was winter, and ran indoors shivering, desiring to play a warm video game.

Mr. Ancoysnd Smithersommerson lounged around in a large leather couch, wearing his 3D glasses, "Nintendo" brand hat, baggy pants and JJ2 T-shirt, (not legal to be sold) drinking hot cocoa while he throught of ways to make Nintendo either do better, or please the world. Looking down at his T-shirt, he used Nintendo's vast resources of cold and papery cash to buy all rights for all Jazz Jackrabbit related things from anyone who held them and set about designing JJ3 (for GameRhombadececedron) The programmers and the like held their calm, though they all privately agreed that the temporary head designer was a little wacko.

Suddenly, GenEX's newly inherited cuteness sprung into being once more, and the fire turned into little spring kittens, and the gasoline to honey. All the judges applauded this fabulous special effect, though none of them knew what happened. The last one thought he did, however, and ordered a bunch of police ostriches from Tubelectric to arrest GenEX for witchcraft. The charges were dropped when the ostriches saw how cute he was.

"It's extremely important that we what?" asked Stan Dear impatiently, wanting to get inside to the gadgets.
"Well, I can't tell you. I have to keep the readers in suspense for a little longer."
"Huh?"

The Inverted Blue Octopus is blind at birth, and feeds by eating any living creature that goes by, just by feeling the water currents. At 3-6 years, the Inverted Blue Octopus aquires eyesight, then deals enormous damage to all denizens of the deep. Also the land, as several people have reported seeing Inverted Blue Octopuses on land, eating insurance salesmen. No one really cared, however, so the police paid little attention. At about 68.33333333333333333333333333333333333 years, the Inverted Blue Octopus reaches maturity, and starts mutilating crabs, then laying its eggs in their still beating heart. We would tell you more, but I think our cameraman just got eaten.... yep. Drat. This has been a continuation of blah blah blah.

Ultra Nurse and Cutey Pie (not to be confused with GenEX) roamed the world, looking for uncute or injured people. Eventually the cuteness spread to the pet baby dragon related creature of a large creature that liked to destroy Tokyo, but that's another story.

The second assistant costume designers coffee holder of the Brady Bunch ran up to GenEX, overwhelmed by the cuteness. GenEX, naturally, was flabbergasted by the attention given to him by such an important personage. After all, coffee stunts your growth, and being small helps being cute. Doesn't a little baby look cuter then a teenager with spiky hair, a cigarette, vest without a shirt that doesn't cover the skull tatoo, spiky bracelets, black pants and big boots? Anyway, you now understand (mostly) GenEX's enamorment. Ducky and Cobra observed the scene with thoughts on it basically at opposite sides of the spectrum, and Unknown Rabbit was being pulled into a Barrow by a Barrow Wraith. Then Tom Bombadilo or someone came by and rescued him, but unfortunately got too near GenEX and became overly cute. Several decades later, his wife grew overly infuriated with the cuteness, and billed him for all the stress she had experienced from it. Cuteness bills.

Newspaz carefully took aim at an idle rabbit in an unsportsmanship manner, and fired. "|Newspaz roasted An idle rabbit" flashed upon the nonexistant screen, and Newspaz won.
"Yay," said Newspaz, "I won."
"It's true, you did."
"Wha? Who are you?"
"I'm the current author, Newspaz."
"I'm in a story!? Wait until I get ahold of my agent..."
"You were merely included to stop a wandering plot segment, and then you were talked about right now in order to explain so you'd feel better about roasting Blagagna."
"But... but I didn't feel bad about it! It's what you DO in a battle!"
"Heartless wretch."
And so I withdrew, and Newspaz tried to wake up, but nothing happened, so he went about his buisness as usual until the server stopped for no reason.


And now it's 2 AM, so I think I should go to bed. Beddy Bye!

[Kovu aka Alec]

Jim Drab(un-scorpi-ceo-ed) sat in a large control room, lined with strange, rectangular object.
"Is everything ready?" Jim asked.
"Yes, sir!"
"Launch!" And, the rectangular objects, revealingthemselves to be BeBop Cola machines, flew into the air, and landed in various places. Slowly, the world was taken over by there Coke shooting, Ben flinging, Rescue Toastering antics. But that's another story.
And OMNI-ROBOT ran through Tokyo(in the real dimension) destroying things.

"Okay, Charlie, let her rip, straight to the tavern!" Some miscellanious Happy Puppy Pickle Co. employee shouted to the driver of the mega-truck taking the pickles to the tavern.
Just then, Kovu remembered something,
"Wait, you're forgetting one!" He heroicly lept into the back of the truck, placing in the forgotten Pickle jar. However, the truck was moving so quickly, and the chances of maimage by jumping out were so high, Kovu stayed inside, taking a chance to examine the pickles, to make sure they were extra fresh.
"Hmm...thease are diffrent, there hard and metallic...and they make a beeping noise like a bomb...ahwell, I guess they ordered the crunchy variety."
And so, the truck rode on to the Tavern.

Shigeru sat in his Bean Bag of Money chair, infront of the huge TV, with one little Nintendo Gamecube unit plugged in.
"Hmm, I think I'll play my latest stroke in video-gaming genius, Pikmin!" He put the disc in the drive, and powered up.
However...this was no ordinary Nintendo Gamecube. As the opening sequence rolled, he was sucked into the screen...into
TEH GAMCUB DIMENSON!

Meanwhile...Ancoysnd had finished the production of JJ3, and distributed it worldwide, making trillions of dollars.
"Woohoo!" Ancoysnd shouted.

As GeneralEXplenative was carried via plane to Brady Bunch HQ, Cobra, Ducky, and the now groggy Unknown puzzled about what to do.
"Stupid, we should've considered bus fare for the trip back, but nooo 'Don't worry, Ducky, the Coffe assistant will give you a ride home in his magical fairy rainbow cart!' I'm gonna kill him!" Ducky snarled.
"So I suppose, the only method of getting home is...hitchiking, yay!" Cobra and Ducky cheered at the prospect, whilst Unknownie cowered.

Once the eggs have been laid, the inverted blue octopus swims off into the abyssal night, it's flesh degenating, sluffing off in clumps, and dies. This has been a continuation of the BBC and Discovery channel.

And, somehwere, on a list server far away, Newspaz continued to roast, and roast he did.

This has been a continuation of the BBC and Discovery channel.

[Violet CLM]

Jim Drab was thinking of various things, letting his mind wander this way and that, not really caring what he thought about, as long as he looked busy thinking of things. Suddenly, he had a thoughtful thought. (I think) "Heeeey.... wait a minute. If I don't run Plotline Hotline anymore, WHO DOES?"

The Mutant Inverted Blue Octopus Known As John Jacobson To Only His Close Friends And Your Excellency To Everyone Else Who Was At All Polite Which Is Beginning To Be A Rarer And Rarer Trait World Wide To The Great Disappointment Of National Behavior Scientists Who Like Eating Spinach Cupcakes And Drinking Marmelade Skies With Lucy's Diamonds (TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLES CADMSWLC) used his Ultra Spiffy Spiffyful Spiffy Spiffish Go Cart to ride through the forests, his servants/Plotline Hotline employees on his heels, as they searched for Blagagna. Uni Corny tripped over his own feet, and fell into a conviniently placed ditch, sucessfully kicking Bill Bored in the face while flailing arms and legs about. TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC glared with red eyes and Uni Corny, and continued to drive haphazardly through the Wabbit Woasters Woods, blowing up trees with a LFG 4000.61 clasped in two of TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC's 10 tentacles. So technically, he was more of a Inverted Blue Decopus, but that didn't sound nearly as catchy. Then the Server Stopped, and TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC and the Plotline Hotline employees suddenly found themselves in the mystic land of "Choose a Server". TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, being the oldest Inverted Blue Anythingopus alive, having never layed eggs due to constapation, had seen this land many times before. He had seen Armaggedon hack into the Warner Bros server by fooling the Password guard, and he had seen Warner04 later being roasted for supplying the real password instead of the fake one. He had seen.... well, better not to go into detail. Ahz Sleep gasped in horror at how ugly some of the rabbits entering servers were, while TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC kept a wary eye looking for Blagagna. Little did he know Newspaz, who was passing by right at that moment, had already brought down his quary.
"What?!?" asked TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC.
"Nonononono, that was NARRATION! Not Current Author Speak! You didn't hear that!"
"Oh, you're probably right. Sorry to have bothered you."
So I patted the evil TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC on the head, and created a little fade out effect that changed the scene.

Charlie drove on and on, through hill and over dale, under sea and over cloud, through rain, snow and houses until he reached the general area the War Tavern was located in. He slowed down, giving Kovu time to jump out of the trunk with a funky ninja move, and grasp ahold of the top of the trunk. Swinging back and forth, Kovu managed to somersault onto the truck's top, and crawled carefully along until he reached the end, at which point he flipped through the open window into the passenger seat. "Hi." said Charlie briefly, and kept driving. Kovu, however, was unusually curious. "Charlie, did 122 War Tavern road order extra crunchy pickles?"
"Nah. They ordered extra soft, just the way some friend of theirs' called Kovu likes them, for his welcome back party."
Thinking it was a different Kovu, Kovu computed the sentence up to the first "," until he arrived at a conclusion. "Charlie, we're delivering the wrong Happy Puppy Pickles! The ones in back are all hard and metallic, and make beeping noises like a-"
BOOOM.

Shigeru floated helplessly in Teh (It has to be Teh) GamCub Dimenson, looking at least for some Pikmin to play with. Then PeekABoo arrived. Shigeru groaned. PeekABoo was so useless, all he would do is try to play PeekABoo with you. Closing his eyes, Shigeru awaited the arrival of ChargedSpanner or someone.

Meanwhile, Ancoysnd began production of JJ4, giving the public no time to really learn all the subtle bugs in JJ3 before a no version came along. It was obvious that was what EPIC had done wrong.

Cobra and Ducky stood by the road, happily waving their thumbs. A truck came by, but it exploded just before it reached them, so that was no good. After a few bozos, a racing car drove up, skidded to a halt (sucessfully making roadkill of one of GenEX's birdies) and opened the back seat door. The owner, who looked vaugely like Elfis, grinned and said "Hop on in!". Ducky and Cobra climbed into the back seat, carefully dragging Unknown Rabbit along with them. "So, where are you tw- three going?" asked the driver jauntily, breaking both the speed laws and the speed of sound. "Well, we're going to 122 War Tavern road, but I think a stopover at a hospital first wouldn't be amiss." "Can do!"

Some time after The Old Inverted Blue Octopus dies, The New Inverted Blue Octopus is born, and is blind at birth, and feeds by eating any living creature that goes by, just by feeling the water currents. At 3-6 years, the Inverted Blue Octopus aquires eyesight, then deals enormous damage to all denizens of the deep. Also the land, as several people have reported seeing Inverted Blue Octopuses on land, eating insurance salesmen. No one really cared, however, so the police paid little attention. At about 68.33333333333333333333333333333333333 years, the Inverted Blue Octopus reaches maturity, and starts mutilating crabs, then laying its eggs in their still beating heart. This has been a repeat of BBC and the Discovery Channel.

Newspaz wandered in a wandering fashion into Samg, where he met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast. Well, I'm still here and he's a rather tasty breakfast meal often asorbed by bi or not by pedual **** sapiens in large quanities. Eventually he'll be reincarnated as Newspaz again, and will set about making Meza2, a version of Mez02A in 3D, which nobody but Newspaz would be able to imagine until it's finished.

The BBC and the Discovery Channel bid you a good knight, and an evil dragon.

Kovu, Charlie and the single Happy Puppy Pickle that had not been a bomb went flying out of the truck, miraculously unhurt. "Quick, Kovu, HOLD THE PICKLE!" screamed Charlie, as they both went falling towards Adventure Island, where all the Elements raged against eachother in epic battles that might someday be converted into a simulation/strategy game. Gosh, thought Kovu, I never knew Adventure Island was so close to 122 War Tavern road! Of course, I never knew it existed, either....

Meanwhile, Ancoysnd had finished JJ4, distributed it world wide, made umpteen unheardofillions and was starting production on JJ5 before any of the public could notice what a rush job JJ4 had been.

"So," said the driver, "what do you do for a living?"
"Well," said Ducky, "I take various jobs, but like most of my friends, never really seem to keep one. The other girl has the same trouble, and the near-dead guy is in training to be a Bumble Bee Watcher."
"Really? Some Bumbly Beez do that to him?"
"Actually, I think it was a turtle."
"Ah. What was he doing watching a turtle, then?"

Suddenly, Shigeru Whatsit, always a man of the times, was upgraded into the GameRhomadececedron Dimension.

"THE READERS HAVE BEEN IN SUSPENSE LONG ENOUGH! TELL US WHAT IS SO EXTREMLY IMPORTANT ALREADY!"
"Ok, ok. Listen. It is extremly important that...."

ANTI-TUBBS aka ANTE TUBBES aka ANTI-ANTI-NEGATIVE-NOT ANTI-S WITH AN OVERSLASH thought of a new way to capture Tubbs. Tubbs loved explosions, so he would get a big truck to explode! Tubbs was sure to come. Thinking for a little while, ANTI-ANTI-NEGATIVE-NOT ANTI-S WITH AN OVERSLASH decided on a Happy Puppy Pickle truck, which was very simple to do, as he was in charge of that as well as Opposition Publishing Co. Inc.. He also ran Happy Kitty Kangaroo Ko., Blargle's Boasting Barf Photos and Kristina Krazy's Koala Masks. Giving instructions to one of the Happy Puppy mascots, ANTI-ANTI-NEGATIVE-NOT ANTI-S WITH AN OVERSLASH wondered what products Opposition Publishing Co. Inc. could come up with to rival Nintendo's new JJ3, JJ4 and possible JJ5. Finally, he came up with "Snozz SnackSquirrel 2".

"So we've told you about us, but we've heard nothing about you? What's your name, Mr. Driver Guy, and what do you do?"
"My name is Bond, James Bond. I work for Acme Imports."
"No!"
"You're probably right. My parents always told me I had big dreams, and if I didn't do something about them, I would start saying the weirdest things to people I've just met. I never did anything about it."

Kovu, who had lost Charlie in the mist around Adventure Island which for some reason only obscured nouns when you were in it, started singing. "THIIIIIISSS IS THHHHHEEEE WAAAAAAYYY WEEEEEEEEEEEEE SIIIIIINNNGGGG TOOOOOO LOOOUUUUDDDD, SIIIIIIIINNNGGGGGGGGGG TOOOOOO LOOUDDD, SIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGG TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOO LOOUUUDDDD....." However, before he could set to work on the next 75 and a half verses, a flying jackhammer flew over and told him he was being way to loud, as this was a public skyway. Blushing, Kovu said he was sorry, and landed right in the Volcano of Adventure Island. Fortunately, due to the magical talisman given to him by the Mages of Jarntiylizareg (see torn off part of page) he was unhurt, and merely fell through the lava into an underground system of caves, tunnels and anicent buildings, where he met Disguise doing some research.

TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC at last got bored of waiting, and walked into a server named "LEGENDS ONLY" with the Plotline Hotline employees following, just before this post ran out of characters. It was a very close thing, however.

[Violet CLM]

TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC looked around him. Twenty six of his Plotline Hotline employees had managed to get in after him, the others had been blocked by a sign that said "Server is Full. Please cry and break your toys over the head of your network administrator." Besides TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC and the twenty six Plotline Hotline employees, several people had already been there. (Insert your own name here), (insert name of your best friend here), (insert the name of your best friend's mother's best friend's gossip partner's landlord's sister's cousin's former roommate here), (insert the name of your best friend's mother's best friend's gossip partner's landlord's sister's cousin's former roommate's political idol's clothing manufacter's best customer's uncle's brother's 1st prize winning chicken here) and (insert Stiletto's name here). TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, not finding Blagagna, demanded of (insert the name of your best friend's mother's best friend's gossip partner's landlord's sister's cousin's former roommate's political idol's clothing manufacter's best customer's uncle's brother's 1st prize winning chicken here) where Blagagna was, who was forced to honestly say he/she didn't know.

"So," said Kovu, "why are you here doing research in this underground system of caves, tunnels and anicent buildings?"
"I want to make a tileset about this! If Carl Barks can use a huge library to create duck comics, I can look at the real thing before I create a tileset! NOW GIMME YOUR TELETUBBIES POSTER!"
"I don't have one! Besides, I didn't bring it with me." said Kovu, after checking his pockets.
"Oh. Well, can you supply witty material?"
"Oh, certainly. For example, your hairstyle looks like a beaver climbed onto your head and died...."

Ancoysnd, after anonymously giving several million dollars to the makers of Skitch Possum (the most awesome possum ever to blossom?), lounged about trying to think of more money making ideas. He had already totally exhausted the various ideas of placing Jazz Jackrabbit pictures on all forms of clothing, hiring teenagers to graffiti ads for Nintendo on various brick walls, eating Caviar, filming a Jazz Jackrabbit movie in less then a day and many other ideas, and he was bored. After eating some Lobster Oldburg, Ancoysnd decided to try to come up with some other type of game. Pikimin 3?

"So," said Ducky, "why did you decide to pick us up? Weren't you afraid we might be dangerous lunatics armed to the teeth with bananas?"
"Well, I was hoping for something of the like, but you three turned out to be totally ordinary people."
"Totally...... ordinary?" Cobra gave way to sobs.

ANTI-TUBBS aka ANTE TUBBES aka ANTI-ANTI-NEGATIVE-NOT ANTI-S WITH AN OVERSLASH was furious. Tubbs had not come to the explosion sight, even though the Happy Puppy Pickle Henchmen had waited at the sight for over 24 Hours! Maybe he could arrange a few cars to drive by Tubbs so he could hop on them. Cars with more Happy Puppy Pickle Henchmen, of course. And lots of machine guns.

Bub turned to Biff, looking bored, and made an obvious statement. "It's obvious that Tubbs isn't going to come. Let's go home."
"Yeah," said Blog, "I'm amazingly bored waiting out here. Especially since the Uno cards were eaten by an alligator 7 hours ago."
Biff agreed, and the three Happy Puppy Pickle Henchmen left, machine guns over their shoulders. Several minutes later, Tubbs ran up. He had been in southren Bulgaria when he had heard of the explosion, and it had taken him over 24 Hours to get here, But the last ash of the fire cremating in a minature fireworks display was worth it.

This is the last Will and Testament of (Insert Newspaz's first name here) "Newspaz" (Insert Newspaz's last name here). All of "Newspaz"'s real estate, money, artifacts, fame and general popularity shall be given to <strike>his father</strike>High Chancellor Palpetine, as campaign funds. His pet lava lamp shall be given to the highest bidder. We assure you that "Newspaz" was alive, and in sane body and mind when <strike>we</strike> he wrote this, and no evil masterminds altered it in ANY WAY to further their schemes.

"It is extremly important that you do NOT operate any of the Plotline Hotline machines! Not two years ago, I saw a Lord Of The Sith (Not in any way related to Lord Of The Rings) come in here and booby trap all the gadgets to explode if anyone other then a Sith Lord touches them."
Stan Dear, Miss Directed and Dan Druff gasped at this daintily for a little while, and then started reading through "Teh History of The War Tavern" (With backwards "Z"s) carefully. "Ah!" said Dan Druff eventually, pinpointing a spot on a page with a pin. "We need to retrieve Darth Vader from before Luke arrives, and convince him to help the people that hit him with lemon pies without being killed ourselves, and then bring him back to this time! After that, all we have to do is teach him how to use the right Plotline Hotline machines, and get him to summon either Four Children and a Dog or a bunch of Medieval Heroes to rescue the War Taverners!"
"Well, that sounds easy!" exclaimed Miss Directed. "Let's go!"
So they went, not hearing Batty Buddy call out that if they had read a little more carefully, they would have noticed that the Taverners had ALREADY been rescued from the menace of AMAZING GUY!.

"Aren't we anywhere near the hospital yet?" groaned Unknown Rabbit, slowly raising his head a half inch.
"Oh sure, we've passed it at least twenty times already. But if I had dropped you off the first time, we wouldn't have had all this interesting conversation!"
Ducky and Cobra exchanged nervous glances, until they forgot which was theirs in the first place.

"and Carol Brady-you know, Florence Henderson-we're always having to deal with her insane desire to buy everything in all the stores she sees.... we've had to withdraw her payments until she gets over this. You may have noticed her recent work has been kind of withdrawn. And Rip Taylor is always lording over people saying he has such a cool name and arguing with the cameraman 'YOU GOT MY BAD SIDE! HOW YOU EVER GOT A JOB AS A CAMERAMAN I DON'T KNOW, AS YOU'RE A ABSOLUTE MORON!!!'. And then there are the Water Follies.... they're always galivanting around trying to get star billing... I tell you, I have no idea how the director deals with these people. Their acting is about the best thing about them. And did I tell you about Peter Brady's drinking habit...."
At this point, Gen burst into tears and ran out of the room, totally disillusioned. But the Brady Bunch were so wonderful! This man had to be LyIng. And something would have to be done about it, as LyIng is bad! And bad isn't cute!

[Violet CLM]

"Not that type of 'witty' material!" snapped Disguise, after checking his hair to make sure it wasn't true. "This weird god like thing came down to earth a few days ago and told me that on the day after this one I would run out of witty material to insert as mask messages in textured backgrounds and trees and thingies!"
Kovu didn't quite know what this meant, but it sounded bad, so he nodded sympathetically.
"So, once it is the day after the day before the day after the day it is now, I shall need someone else to give me witty material to put in my tilesets!"
"Oh.... hey, who's that who just appeared behind you and is currently giving you bunny ears?"
Disguise spun around to face Mr. Knowitall, the War Tavern living book of answers.
"Disguise, you already said you wouldn't be making any more tilesets for a long time, maybe a year."
After this, Mr. Knowitall unappeared to go back to mounring his dead brother, Mr. Continuity.

"..who was that?" asked Disguise, after realizing what the man had said was true."
"That was Mr. Knowitall. He knows everything, and can answer any questions when he feels like it."
"Oh. Well, as he's right in saying I wasn't going to make any tilesets for a while, there's really no point in my sticking around here. Coming?"

And Kovu, after deciding that no matter how weird it was around here, it would still be better to get out, trudged intrepidly after Disguise, looking at a few of the nearby buildings in case odd looking movie creatures might suddenly jump out and bite him. None did, due to there not being an odd looking movie creatures in the buildings, but it was the scary music all around them that made it seem likely. Especially since it was getting louder.

So, after a few hours of intrepid trudging, Disguise led Kovu out of the maze of tunnels and caves into the clear, open air of Adventure Island, and through a grove of trees to Disguise's camp. The camp was made of a woodcutter style fireplace, a small brook and a tent kept up by tent poles, and held down by rocks on the sides.

"Gee," said Kovu, after Disguise had set down his backpack and gotten a drink of water from the brook, "isn't this Adventure Island?"
"Yes, it is. What's your point?"
"Well, where are all the adventures?"
Disguise only had just enough time to fling himself at Kovu, shouting "NEVER SAY THAT!" before a large blue heron flew by and scooped them up.


ANTI-TUBBS lounged around in his ANTI-TUBBS brand mansion, sipping watermelon juice (a must try) while awaiting news of the machine gun Happy Puppy Pickle Co. car enterprise. If he did capture Tubbs, what would he do afterward? He could always change his name to ANTI-someone else, but would it have the same ring? And changing your name can get you in trouble with airport security, so that might not be the best idea. So in order to keep his name, he'd have to not capture Tubbs, but if he didn't try to capture Tubbs, his name wouldn't really be true... there was really no way out of it. So thinking, ANTI-TUBBS drifted into sleep...
until the clock struck 12. He woke with a start. Hadn't it been daylight when he had gone to sleep? His toast was still warm.....
and then he heard the sound. A sad, ghostly wail was coming closer from the general direction of the billard room. Shaking, ANTI-TUBBS stared towards the door, looking for a weapon.........
and then the ghosts walked through the door.

"Scroo- err, ANTI-TUBBS..... ANTI-TUBBS.......!" they cried, hefting hefty chains as they walked. And he recognized them. Jack and Jill, the young pair he had savagely pushed off the hill when they had accidentally intruded on one of his evil satellite dishes being set up for his plan to locate Tubbs' location... hadn't worked. There were the Butcher.. and the Baker.. and the Candlestick Maker... the ones he had unjustly slandered enough to get them run out of town in a small tub-which later sank-because they were learning too much about his catching Tubbs plan #182, a bake sale with a "free explosion with every purchase". It hadn't worked either. There was Simple Simon, the idiot he had let buy an exploding pie of Tubbs' favorite flavor. Of course, he had forgotten to publicize it, so Tubbs had never heard. And there was that lady whose nose was bitten off by his trained blackbirds which wouldn't attack King Tubbs... how had that idiot become King, anyway? The list went on and on. And they were all heading for him.

"What do you want?" asked ANTI-TUBBS, trying to sound imposing.
"Repent! ANTI-TUBBS, Repent!"
"Why?"
There was some hurried muttering. ANTI-TUBBS heard only snatches, like "He will not repent!" and "I know that, you idiot! It's my nose I lost, not my ears!"
There was some more muttering, and then Jack got in front.
"We are the ghosts of just a few of your sins. And we, despite all that you have done, have come to give you a warning. Repent!"
"I don't want to. Being evil is fun."
By this point, ANTI-TUBBS had gotten pretty used to having a bunch of ghosts around, and was just trying to think where he had put his camera, when Jack spoke again.
"Then we must depart. But you shall be visited thrice more before the night is through."
And they were gone.
ANTI-TUBBS went back to sleep.
And then the clock struck one.
He woke up again, staring around.
He saw his watermelon juice.
He looked around again.
And there was another figure, coming through the door.
"I am the spirit of "somewhere near the beginning of the year by non scientific standards" past!"
ANTI-TUBBS looked as the figure walked in, tripped over a gun laying around, pocketed it then stood up to face ANTI-TUBBS again.
"Now, if you are ready, we shall begin the trip."
"The trip? What trip?"
"The trip to somewhere near the beginning of the year by non scientific standards, of course!"
"That's in the past! How do you expect to take me there? And who are you, anyway?"
"With the spiffy Three Ghosts Brand Time Machine! My name is Beauman."
"Wait a minute.. you're not dead, are you?"
"No, but the normal first ghost is out sick, so I'm standing in. Now, get out of bed, put on your night cloth and please step this way to the Ultra Spiffy Three Ghosts Brand Time Machine..."

And so, they were sent to sometime less then a year ago but still somewhere near the beginning of the year by non scientific standards.

ANTI-TUBBS looked around. Things looked a lot the same, there weren't any images of his good and kind past, no childhood sweethears or anything.
"What are you trying to pull? This is nowhere near the distant past!"
"Erm, yeah, due to budgets cuts... could only go back about a year.. sorry, won't happen again....."
"Well, let's get this over with. Where's this vision I'm supposed to see?"
"Today is the day the JCF was made open to the public!!"
"....so?"
"Hmm, good question. Let me check the list...."
So Beauman got out a list telling the three ghosts what to do, and flipped through the pages until he reached "First Ghost".
"Isn't your name Fquist?"
"Of course not! It's ANTI-TUBBS!"
"Oh, sorry, wrong set of ghosts... my mistake, must have been that left turn in Algathar's pit of Ungoodness. Well, I'll go to wake up Fquist now.. good luck with your night time thingy. Once daylight strikes, you wake up in your own time, so remember to take note of everything you see. Bye!"
"Wait! Aren't I supposed to go back to my bed for a second ghost to come along and show me things?"
But Beauman didn't hear the lost voice of ANTI-TUBBS, who was left in March 23, 2001 until daybreak.

And in the present....

At two, a ghost floated into the room where ANTI-TUBBS had been sleeping. Nobody was there. After prowling around and looking in all the other bedrooms for a while, the second ghost returned to its starting place, where the third ghost had arrived. After holding a discussion, the two ghosts returned to Teh Plotmaster, Keeper of the Plotholes, who decided it must all be Beauman's fault and fired him instantly. Sometime later, at daybreak, ANTI-TUBBS returned, and wasn't changed in the least.

So really, the entire above ANTI-TUBBS story has no point, and is entirely unuseful to the plot. I only did it to try and get some more people to reply.

[Violet CLM]

Ducky gathered enough courage to speak once more, after noticing they had sped past another hospital.
"What's your real reason for avoiding the hospital? Are you merely starved for conversation, being a hermit or something, or are you an accomplice of some evil type person inside the hospital trying to keep us away from finding him or her out?"
"No, I'm a cab driver. The longer the car drives, the more you have to pay me. OF COURSE I'M AN ACCOMPLICE OF SOME EVIL TYPE PER-oops, did I say that?"
"...yes, you did." said Ducky, looking nervously at Cobra once more. "Did you mean it?"
"Yes! And now that you know, you must die! TO TEH POWER PLANT!"
Cobra looked sad. "And he looked so non evil like, too." she said, as Ducky wondered what the Power Plant had to do with anything.

Batty Buddy took wing, deciding there wasn't really a point of hanging around in Plotline Hotline, and swept the skies in search of interesting sights. After passing a falling character wearing a shirt that read "Buy Happy Puppy Pickles! They're good!", BB alighted on the underside of a roof to rest just in time to see GenEX burst out of the door, sobbing cutely. Batty stared, then dropped down to hover in front of him. "Hey Gen, whatcha doing here? Bad vibes?"
"The second assistant costume designers coffee holder of the Brady Bunch is an eViL man! Somehow I must defeat him, bringing peace to this section of the land!"
Batty Buddy, deciding that fighting an eViL man was a lot more interesting then flying around randomly, inquired what the second assistant costume designers coffee holder of the Brady Bunch to make him deserve Gen's hatred, while searching in his backpack for anything that might come in useful.
"He's been slandering the Brady Bunch, that wonderful group of beings! Such eViL talk is only said by the eViLest, Worstest Fiends!"
Batty Buddy threw a wary glance at Gen, who caught it. Then he noticed what the cute one had said. "Don't rhyme so much! It might summon..."
"It might summon someone? Summon who, I ask? And might this summoned someone assist in our eViL eredicating task?"

Kovu screamed like a lil baby as the large blue heron flew along with him and Disguise in its claws. The odd part was that it seemed to be flying in a circle, gradually gaining altitude. Trying to remember his last science lesson, Disguise yelled at the bird. "Stop! You'll hit the end of the atmosphere and we'll all burn up!"
But the bird didn't seem to hear, or if it did it didn't understand, just as any blue heron would do if you shouted what Disguise shouted at it. But soon Kovu, who was facing the same direction as the bird, saw a large portal floating in the air before them. Not knowing what large portals look like, I can't tell you, but Kovu knew it was a portal as soon as he saw it. Soon, the bird was close to it, and the air around them was glittering. And then they were through, in another dimension, and the bird was still methodically flapping foward. Kovu turned to Disguise, knowing he went to many odd places to do research, but Disguise had never been here before either. So they contented themselves with watching the various creatures nearby while they flew, which included various Pikimin. As Shigeru Miyamoto, seated on a golden throne came into view, Kovu guessed where they were in a low gasp of awe. "Awwwwwwww!" he said lowly, and then stated his guess. "We're in the GameRhombadececedron Dimension, Disguise!"

"What does the Power Plant have to do with anything?" asked Ducky, after giving up figuring it out for herself.
"Well, in the spirit of all villains, I can tell you as you will soon die anyway. I am going to dump you into the thingy where coal is dumped to make steam to make eel-ect-rickety!"
The car is going much too fast to jump out of, thought Ducky, her brow furrowed in thoughts of ways to escape.
Cobra lifted her face to the air, sure she was soon to die and deciding to be melodramatic about it.
"Oh god, if you do truly exist, give us a sign! Smite down this evil doer and rescue Unknown, Ducky and I!"
And then Charlie (who was sent flying by the same explosion Kovu was, as you may recall) fell on the head of the driver. The car skidded off the road into a lake, and all five landed in the lake in less then olympic form positions, making spiffy ripples go out in a circle from where they had landed. The car fell down through the lake's waters, as it was much deeper then it looked, and smashed into an underwater vehicle moving along below, breaking one of the viewing windows. And so, as Charlie, Ducky, Cobra and the Evil Driver surfaced sputtering, so too did two Jedi Knights and a Gungan. Meantimes, Unknown Rabbit sunk slowly down to the bottom of the lake.

Arncecroc thundered through The Plains, kicking mountains like molehills, his current form over a mile high. Pausing to step on three lifeforms, who had formerly been known as Bub, Biff and Blog, the evil scourge and hacker shrunk down a bit in order to look for GenEX, who had accidentally summoned him by rhyming so. And he wasn't one of those docile genies, who did their summoners every wish. Of course, if he assumed one of their forms, he might be able to pose as a genie until the right moment, at which point he would strike. The irony of such a victory far outshined the simple buisness of squashing Gen as soon as he reached him, so Arncecroc assumed the form of a cute pink genie as he appeared seemingly out of nowhere right beside Gen, who was wondering cutely why Batty Buddy was so frightened just because he had been talking in rhyme.

"{AHHH!!! RUN!}" (translated from the Japenese) cried a Japenese person, as the OMNI-BOT ran through Tokyo, destroying things.

Ancoysd stepped outside of the Nintendo building for a bit to get some fresh air, and was plowed into by Kazooie. After getting up again, Ancoysd asked the red bird where he was going, and why in such a hurry.
"I'm trying to get away from the War Tavern! AMAZING GUY! came and started a big fight, so I ran away!"
"AMAZING GUY!...? But that was just a few weeks ago, and on a whole different planet! How'd you get here?"
"I run very fast..."
"Ah. You know, you've given me the inspiration for a new game. How'd you like to star in Nintendo's latest buisness venture?"
At this point, Kaz looked into the face of Ancoysd, and recognized it as the same as AMAZING GUY!'s. He then fled.
Ancoysd took this as a very funny joke, and shouted out "Run, Forrester, Run!" before collapsing on the ground with laughter. Several minutes later, a few medic people ran up to him, concluded he had had a stroke, and (he being important) shot him off in a very high speed spaceship to a hospital on Carrotus, said to be the best. Sadly, it was the same one that the Evil Driver had prevented Ducky, Cobra and Unknown Rabbit from entering, as there was an evil person in it.

[Ducky]

Cobra sobbed praises and Ducky bobbed in a rather corklike manner. They had fallen into a very clear lake, and the driver swam hastily away, not stopping to see if they were okay. He wrung some water out of a bazooka he was carrying inhis pocket and galloped away. The Jedi treaded water and looked around.
"Crumbs!" One yelled. " This isn't Naboo! Where are we? I can't sense any Force at all!" Cobra batted her eyelashes, which were waterproofed with purple mascara, at the younger Jedi, who bobbed over to the rabbits.
"Excuse me, but what planet is this, and are we still in the correct galaxy?"

Cobra mumbled incoherently at the same time as Ducky.
"I think its either Diamondus or...are those ruins over there? Maybe Medivo, except its usually rainier...and I believe your galaxy is west more." But this was drowned out by Ducky screeching happily at the Jedi and queuing for his autograph. He scribbled it down on a piece of paper and wrote down Cobra's directions. "Thank you, ladies..."
The other Jedi was still trying to figure out where they were. "I think I've got it, master..."
"Great! So where's that that gungan now.."

The froglike creature popped up a few feet with a sodden rabbit and Cobra shrieked loudly. "Unknownieeeee!!!" Ducky started crying. "IS HE DEAD!?" Cobra bawled.

The gungan mumbled something asthe first jedi dragged it to their ship. "Thanks again!" They yelled, and the gungan dropped it soggy Unknownie.

Cobra hollered and Ducky tried to catch Unknown before he sank to the depths again. "COBRA!!! HE'S DEAD!!! OR ELSE HE'S IN A COMA!!"
"NO! UNKNOWNIE!"
"DON'T BE DEAD!"

They carriedon in such a way for about a quarter of an hour.

`Duckay

(Oka, I had no idea what was happening..)

[Kovu aka Alec]

"Shigeru Miyamoto!" Kovu ran torward his video game idol, plowing through various sequels which lay about in the GamRhabero something-or-other.
"Will you autograph my... uhm, face?"
"{Okay}" (Transalated) and so, Shigeru signed Kovu's face.
"Well, that's all hunky and dory, but why are we here, and how do we get back to where we were before?" Disguise asked, as he looked for holes in the dimension.
"Erm...I dunno." Kovu said, now with large japanese letters(presumably Shigeru's signature) plastered across his face.
"Wait, I do know, if we can get to plotline hotline, we can change the plot back in time so we don't end up here!"
"Yes..."

"It won't work....we won't sell it." The SUPREME boss of Nintendo said to Ancoysnd.
"C'mon, a red bird in a bear's backpack? It's classic!" Ancoysnd had a great affinity for his Kazooie inspired game idea.
"But it's such a botched job, you finished it and it's sequel in a DAY!"
"But...but...phoey." Ancoysnd stalked out of the SUPREME bosses chambers, until he got an idea.
"I know, I'll go back in time and sell it on that Nintendo 64 machine they used to have, it'll be beautiful for back in those days...now...all I need is a time machine...I know, the Plotline Hotline!"

"Aren't you just a cute widdle genie!" Gen squished the cheeks of the cute little but actually evil genie type thing.
"Gawd...that is too cute...It's melting my eyeballs...I can't kill Gen and/or the genie, because that's not cute....I know, I'll go back in time before AMAZING GUY! blew Gen's head apart, so the maid will be unneeded and he won't become cute. Yess...." Batty thought, then disembarked for the Plotline Hotline, where there was a time machine, ofcourse.

"Mwahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" THe EVIL NOSREP of the hospital had already tied up Ducky and Cobra, and buried Unknowness six feet under.
"Soon my evil plan will be COMPLETE! However....I must clip my toenails before I undertake global domination, I shall return, leaving you completely unguarded with the tools to escape right at you're disposal...mwaha!" And so, quite obviously, they escaped there respective traps, but were still moping about the death of Unkownie.
"Sob...this is so sad...*sniff*"Ducky sobbed
"If there was just some way we could go back in time..." Cobra said....
"Wait a second....."
"TEH PLOTLINE HOTLINE!"

"Take it! Strike me down with you're Jedi weapon....I am defenseless..." The emperor said, stroking Luke's lightsaber as the battle of Rebellion v. Empire raged on outside. Suddenly, a time hole opened up, with the Plotline Hotline employees dropping from it, hitting the emperor on the head, fortunatley, though prematurely casting him into the Death Star II's power core.
"What in George Lucas is going on here?" Luke asked.
"*Hhhuuu...kooooo*Shatner! This is bad...*Hhhuuuu....koooo*" Darth said.
"Look, no time to explain, we need you to Sith us up a plot change!"
"Can do...."

[Violet CLM]

<strike>GeneralEXtasy screamed in general ecstasy as a cute pink genie appeared in front of him. Temporarily forgetting about the second assistant costume designer's coffee holder of the Brady Bunch, Gen swept the startled genie into his arms and starting calling it various things that ended in "Oogums", including "Blue gums". Batty Buddy looked warily around for Arncecroc, not seeing him, little knowing that he was the little pink genie being cuddled by Gen.
"I'm looking warily around for Arncecroc," said Batty Buddy, "but I don't see him. And he can't be the little pink genie being cuddled by Gen."
GenEX noticed BB looking warily around for Arncecroc, not seeing him, little knowing that he was the little pink genie GenEX was cuddling. "Hey, Batty Buddy, you odd fuddy duddy, why are you looking warily around for Arncecroc, not making a sound, not seeing him? We've got this little pink genie I'm cuddling to protect us from that meanie!"
"I guess you're right. CAN HE GRANT WISHES?!?" exclaimed Batty Buddy, no longer looking warily around for Arncecroc, though still not seeing him, little knowing he was the little pink genie being cuddled by Gen.
"I don't know the answer to that question... let's ask! Hey Genie, can you do that rather magical task?"

Ancoysd, on a stretcher being carried by several Nintendo dudes, entered the hospital. Although Ancoysd was rather in a state of unnoticing, the carriers noticed something was different about the hospital today. Everyone was standing around, not moving, their hands up in the air.
"Friendly place!" said an as of yet nameless Nintendo person, waving to them with the hand that wasn't carrying Ancoysd's stretcher. A doctor, frozen in mid step, took no notice of them. That was about the time they noticed something was wrong.
Suddenly, a cloaked figure came out from one of the adjoining rooms, some sort of raygun in one hand, a sheaf of bills in the other.
"Darth Sidious!" exclaimed a Nintendo person, doing a little tap dance in surprise.
"Darth Sidious!" exclaimed another Nintendo person, raising his hand for no reason, punching out all the teeth of the man behind him.
"Durth Sidgeieish!" cried the Nintendo person who had lost his teeth.
"I'm not Darth Sidious, I'm High Chancellor Palpetine!" cried Darth Sidious.... err, High Chancellor Palpetine... either one, really.
"Hi Chancellor Palpetine!" cried the last of the assorted flavor Nintendo people, waving his free hand around. It had developed a cramp.
"Hi." replied Palpetine, aiming his ray gun like thing at them. "Now, I give you two choices. Leave this place, or be frozen like the rest of the people in here."
"Oh, are they FROZEN?!" cried the tap dancing Nintendo Person. "I've always wanted to meet a frozen person!"
So saying, he left the stretcher to try to shake hands with a stiff nurse. The stretcher fell, naturally, and Ancoysd slid to the feet of Palpetine, who examined the coma covered body.
"Why, it's the head game designer of Nintendo! This will be most useful to my plans.." said Palpetine, using Teh Force to get a forklift. It drove through the wall, making a large hole, then began to lift up Ancoysd as Palpetine's Force demanded.
But before Palp's latest piece of evil plan could be accomplished, Kaz ran through the hole in the wall, knocked the High Chancellor off his feet and ran straight through the other wall, not stopping for a moment. His passing warmed the hospital people sufficiently, and they began to treat both Ancoysd and Palpetine, who had apparently gotten a concussion. The forklift was forgotten about, and the Nintendo people went home.

Shigeru Miyamoto rose from his throne, joystick shaped scepter in one hand. Decending by using various muscles of his legs and feet, the Jap came to the spot where the huge blue heron alighted, and greeted Kovu & Disguise in the usual manner, with a greeting of the usual manner.
Kovu, after recovering from both being in the GameRhombadececedron dimension and meeting Shigeru Miyamoto there, made a cordial response to Shigeru's usual mannerisim induced greeting.
"Thank you for greeting us in the usual manner. But how did you get to be king of the GameRhombadececedron dimension, and why did the huge blue heron bring us here?"
"Kejero, the Heron, is under my instructions to bring any of my former associates to me. You see, here in this alternate dimension, I have access to Teh Plotmaster, who is the Keeper of the Plot Holes. He tels me a War Tavern character meeting is required, and what better place to hold it then in this unreal spot?"
"Well, I can think of any number of them, but never mind. Why is the heron called Kerjero, and why is a heron here, anyway?"
"Oh, he flew through the portal one day quite by accident. To go with the other birds, of course!"
"Other?"
"Yes! Overlord the Pheonix, Ninja Dodo the Dodo and Blade the Great Bald Eagle!"
By this time, Kovu had gotten used to the strange look of the GameRhombadececedron Dimension, and even the little game characters climbing all over him, so having a living Dodo was no surprise.
Disguise, brushing a few of the game characters of Kovu's ear, walked up to Shigeru.
"But I'm not a War Tavern character! What am I doing here?"

"LIVE!!!!"
"HE'S SO COLD IN THIS UNLIFELY STATE!"
"UNKNOWNIE!"
"BE ALIVE!!"
And Unknown just lay there, head kind of sagging. Meanwhile, Charlie swam laps around the lake for no reason, and the Evil Driver Guy reached land at last, and the Jedi managed to fix their ship, and the Gungan's ear got caught in the door as it closed, and the sun shone, and the birds chirped, and the poets continued to dream, and then without any warning, something happened.

Back at the War Tavern, which hadn't been mentioned in forever, it was buisness as usual. Fquist was muttering to himself about the shoddyness of the most gaily painted wall, as Cobra was not there to converse with. DDay and BBoy were accusing each other of copying, and Willet was arguing with Fire Sword about nothing in paticular. Tyf was playing Rummy with a dark corner, and Slayer was absent mindedly guarding the beer taps. Action Hank was asleep on the chandeleir which didn't exist, as always. Beauman was keeping out of Quisty's way, who still hadn't recovered from his ghostly visitors. And then the door burst open again, and four figures entered with no warning other then the door bursting open.
BBoy screamed, hiding behind DDay, who was hiding behind him.
"Agh! Who the heck are you?!" Slayer shouted in a 'get out of my bar' tone of voice.
"I'm Barg." A short, fat one said.
"I'm Clyde." A tall, skinny one said.
"I'm Jugrgd." A squinting one said.
"And I'm ClockWork." A average type one said,
"and we're the friends of...Xavier!"
"XAVIER'S DEAD." said Tyf loudly, then went back to working on her books and runs.
"Yeah, yeah, we heard someone ate him." said Barg, tears running down his nosehair. "But that's not what we came for. We came for Beauman."
Beauman kind of shivered a bit, and stammered a bit, and shuddered a bit, all for no reason, then said "Me?".
"OF COURSE YOU, WHO DID YOU THINK?"
"BainIthron?" asked Beauman, after thinking a bit.
"Good answer. Anyway, we came to report that how matter how hard we tried, we could not find the artifact thingie."
"Oh, that's all right. Unknown Rabbit found it, but he pressed this shiny red button on it, and the world blew up and pieced itself back together sometime in the future, only it was a different world... Blah, you don't understand me, do u?"
"No, I don't. But there's another matter as well."
"Another?"
"Yes. We bring news from The Plotmaster, keeper of the Plot Holes."
"You bring news from The Plotmaster, keeper of the Plot Holes?" gasped Beauman, looking at the four who were bringing news from The Plotmaster, keeper of the Plot Holes.
Jugrgd noticed Beauman looking at them as they were bringing news from The Plotmaster, keeper of the Plot Holes. "Yes, we bring news from The Plotmaster, keeper of the Plot Holes. He wants all of you to come to a big meeting in the GameRhombadecedron Dimension, where Shigeru Miyamoto currently rules."
Before any of the others could think about it, Action Hank talked in his sleep, saying "Yes, ok.".
"Excellent!" said Clockwork, and produced a portable portal from his pocket. "Now, all step this way, please..."

Ducky stopped in mid scream, and pointed behind Cobra. Turning, Cobra saw what Ducky had been pointing at. A ninja star was spinning towards them, and the Evil Driver Guy was standing on the shore, laughing manically. Ducky ducked, but Cobra thought quickly, and tried to use her Mystic Admin Powers to reflect the star. However, the Mystic Admin Powers (MAP) didn't work as they were supposed to, and the ninja star merely turned into a huge portal. Deciding that it might lead to a safer place, Cobra somehow managed to get all three of them through. Charlie, returning from his twentieth lap, was just in time to see the trio vanish into a portal, which soon turned back into a ninja star.

Stiletto looked oddly at TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, then said was he was thinking. "Are you sure you're a legend?"
"I'm a legend among Inverted Blue Octopuses! snapped TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, looking dagger eyed at Stiletto. Stiletto shrunk back a little, but concluded that TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC and the Plotline Hotline employees shouldn't be there, so he hit a trigger crate to remove everyone who was not a legend. But contray to expectations, the trigger crate just made a warp and a sign pointing to it appear. Naturally, everyone in the server entered it, allowing the Plotline Hotline employees who hadn't been able to get in get in, at which point they too entered the warp.

And the Japs shot the OMNI-BOT with an all new ray, which warped him.</strike>

[Violet CLM]

<strike>Ancoysd and Palpetine lay feebly in beds, looking feeble. Every two minutes, on the hour, a nurse or doctor would come in and refresh their ice pack. So it was no surprise to Palp, as Ancoysd was still in a coma, to see a man in white robes stride into their room.
"I am Randalf`s DNA'sweird, wizard of Modeled Earth. As there's all that time between the time the Ma'elDogg and I fall into the abyss and the time I greet the various people trying to get that city back from Wizard Saturation, I came here for a brief span of time to obey an order from The Plotmaster, keeper of the Plot Holes."
"Never heard of you."
"Too bad. Anyway, I have come to deliver the portal that shall take you to the GameRhombadecedron Dimension, where a meeting of pretty much all the War Tavern characters is to be held!"
So saying, Randalf`s delivered a portal that would take them to the GameRhombedecedron Dimension, where a meeting of pretty much all the War Tavern characters was to be held. Randalf`s then lifted up the limp body of Ancoysd and muttered a few magic incantations, which healed Ancoysd entirely. After shoving Ancoysd through the portal, Randalf`s cast the same spell on High Chancellor Palpetine, and was about to shove him through the portal when the portal closed from the force of Teh Force.
"I don't want to go!" said Palpetine, looking Randalf`s squarely in the eye. "I want to remain in the real world!"
And then the forklift drove up, picked up Palpetine and drove quickly away. Randalf`s, deciding not to give chase, returned to Modeled Earth, and The Lord Of The Things adventure.

Miss Directed, Stan Dear and Dan Druff continued along the road that goes on and on, having managed to get to a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away by means of a hole in the continuity. They had already been stopped by a troup of storm troopers, but after saying "We're not the dudes you're looking for" to them, got away uncaptured. "Darth Vader must be Somewhere in this galaxy!" cried Dan, after deciding that Darth Vader must be Somewhere in that galaxy.
After concluding that Dan was probably correct, Stan said Dan was probably correct and left it at that. But then they were hit by this cool Tractor Beam, which after doing a little farming, pulled them up the The Deaf Star, in which voices could not be heard. As luck chose to have it, Darth Vader was there, and he had just finished cleaning off the armies of Lemon Pies. Handing Miss Directed a notebook and a pen, Darth Vader produced his own and wrote "You're garb iz stranj. Wear are yu frum?"
"A long time from now, in a galaxy far, far away." wrote Miss Directed, after comtemplating the entire Space Time Continuim the space of a second.

And after some time, they managed to retrieve Darth Vader from before Luke arrives, and convince him to help the people that hit him with lemon pies without being killed themselves, and then brought him back to their own time. After that, they taught him how to use the right Plotline Hotline machines, and got him to summonn Four Children and a Dog to rescue the War Taverners. However, upon leaving Plotline Hotline, the group accidentally walked into a plothole, which somehow transported them right in front of Clyde, who was still pushing War Taverners through the portal. They were pushed through.

ANTI-TUBBS ate toast and caviar, screamed at his incompetent servants and generally did things expected of someone who's both evil and in power. But today was different. His mood was worse. Apparently, an old man dressed in white had swooped down on an eagle and had transformed his Happy Puppy Pickle Machine Gun Equipped Cars into this weird interdimensional portal, which sucked up Tubbs, who had been just going to land on the roof of one of the cars. You couldn't trust anyone these days, though ANTI-TUBBS, spitting out a turtle egg that had gotten into his caviar by mistake. A servant who didn't look familiar brought in a new tray of food, which included one of those cool plates with metal coverings over them. You know the type I mean.
Anyway, ANTI-TUBBS ate the food, as is expected, and at last came to the metal covered plate. Lifting the lid, he was surprised to see some sort of green portal beneath. Then he was sucked through to a different dimension..

Isabelle Kettlesore chewed away at the cage bars contentedly, which the C&CJP screamed at her not to. She paid no attention, and was soon through. The other dinosaurs followed, seeing an opening, and the C&CJP ran along, throwing various pointy objects at the prehistoric creatures. But then a dinosaur kicked over one of the fiendishly clever and intricate inventions of that era, which produced something that looked like a very large Interdemensional Portal. They were all sucked through, giving them all only enough time to shout in various languages something like "AHHH!!!! A DINOSAUR KICKED OVER A FIENDISHLY CLEVER AND INTRICATE INVENTION OF THIS ERA, WHICH PRODUCED SOMETHING THAT LOOKS LIKE A VERY LARGE INTERDEMENSIONAL PORTAL! AND IT'S SUCKING US THROUGH!"

And all throughout the universe, War Tavern characters were sucked into interdemensional portals by various means.

Shigeru Miyamoto looked at a nearby clock. "Brace yourselves, people. They should be arriving soon."
And then there was a large bright flash, and pretty much everyone except High Chancellor Palpetine appeared.

"Look!" cried Shigeru, pointing them out one by one. Some were ghosts, some were alive, and some were something else.

"There's Abe Lincoln, humble railcutter from the past! And Action Hank, the duck! Admael, powerful one! Godly Agama, tileset maker supreme! Ahz Sleep, the Plotline Hotline employee! AFC Blinky, from Bucky O' Hare! Alantrium, the Golden Knight, free with money! Al Negator, the Bucky O' Hare villain! Althagar, owner of the pit of ungoodness! Ancoysd, he of many names! ANTI-TUBBS, sworn to seek out Tubbs for all his days! Arjan, king of the gods! Armaggedon, old timer! ATMA WEAPON, other self of GenEX! Avelanche, from Rage of Evil! The BACTA FLUIDS, sworn enemies of Cannibal Feud! Barbara Streisand, eater of gum! Barg, fox from Medivo! BBoy, the infamous drunk! Beauman, worker of mystic and redundant deeds! Ben and the Ben Class Scorpions, scorpions! Biff of Happy Puppy Pickle Co.! Bill Bored, one with an odd fascination with Billboards! The creatures known as Blabeds! *Blacksheep, the rabbit.. or is it sheep?! Blagagnga, the idiotic slayer of Mr. Continuity! *Blizzard, Kiki sayer! Blog of Happy Puppy Pickle Co.! Bluez, easily angered! Bob, the mystical voice! BoX, the consumer of all!"
The list went on and on. But Charlie, Batty Buddy, Arncecroc, GenEX, High Chancellor Paletine and the second assistant costume designer's coffee holder of the Brady Bunch were not there.

"Never mind," said Shigeru, "we shall just have to hold the meeting without them."</strike>


Edit: Ugh. You posted while I was typing. Ignore my two posts then... of course, we were thinking a similar thing... :lol:

By the way, Ancoysd was in a hospital with some evil person, having had a stroke. So he can't have been talking to those people about a Kazooie game. Not only that, Shigery Miyamoto has had a translator attached to his neck since his very first appearance.

[Violet CLM]

Miraculously, probably due to the sithed up plot charge, Darth Vader and his escorts arrived at Plotline Hotline first. After some debate, it was decided that a bunch of Medieval Heroes would be better to summon, so Darth Vader was taught how to use the Plotline Hotline machines. There was something against this in the "Employee Agreement" laws, but as they were now employees of Opposition Publishing Co. Inc., they didn't bother to bother.

Soon, a group of Medieval Heroes were standing in Plotline Hotline, dusting interdimensional fairy dust off of their clothing. The apparent leader, an old man with a beard and a staff, extended a hand to Dan Druff, who was closest. "Thanks to the interdimensional fairy dust that is being brushed off our clothing, we know why you have brought us here. We shall go forth, and rescue the War Taverners. And may all who stand in our way kindly step aside."
"That's all very nice, but who are you?" asked Stan, who was kind of surprised that the whole thing had worked.

"I am Randalf Mayfear, wizard of Medal Urge."
"I am Airyhorn, a Ranger." said a tall man, nodding. "and I have many names."
"I am Boredmore, he of whom the bards forget." said another man, looking similar to the other.
"I am Logoless, the archer." said a tall and graceful blonde, shouldering a bow.
"I am Grimtree, and I shall not shirk from the task, whatever it may be." said a short and bearded fellow with a axe that was bigger then him.
"I am Photo, and I have the ring, so you'd better keep me safe!" said a short one with hairy feet.
"I am Slam Cantsee." said another hairy footed midget. "And I will follow Master Photo wherever he goes!"
"I am Maybe." said another of the vertically challenged hairy feet. "And he is Pigeon." They looked almost exactly alike.


Batty Buddy, wings aching from two such unusually long flights in such short sucession, alighted on a tree nearby the Plotline Hotline. "Now, only Sith can operate the machines inside," he thought, thoughtfully. "but I'm an insane cartoon. Surely I can think of something."
"Hey! Don't call me Shirley!" cried a voice from his backpack. Batty Buddy quickly thrust his wing in and pulled out a tiny cloaked figure. "Who are You?"
"I'm Darth Skywalker, 4th in the chain of Pokesith! Over 250 different characters! COLLECT 'EM ALL!!!!!!!11!1!!!!11!11!11111"
"A Pokesith? Now there's an idea.." said Batty, smirking. He proceeded to go towards the entrance to Plotline Hotline.

At a very similar moment, Cobra and Ducky arrived at Plotline Hotline as well. They had rented a real Taxi on credit, saying they'd pay the money tomorrow, as if they got their way they would be no tomorrow in this branch of time. But then Ducky noted a sign above the Plotline Hotline door reading "DANGER. DO NOT ENTER. MACHINES INSIDE WILL EXPLODE ANY OPERATORS WHO ARE NOT SITH."
This stumped the pair for a while, until Cobra got an idea. Reaching into her magic handbag of stuffness, she pulled out a pad of paper and a pen, on which she wrote "Honorary Sith". "Trust me, it'll work." she said, in response to Ducky's incredulous gaze. "Let's go."

Kovu and Disguise, having obtained a "Get out of the GameRhombadececedron Dimension free card" in a game of Pikimin Monopoly, were on their way to Plotline Hotline. The Blue Heron had given them a ride to the coastline, but neither of them were really sure where Plotline Hotline was. But by asking directions from local yokels and resident presidents, they managed to get into the right dimension. After that, it was only a matter of Disguise drawing a race car for them, using a magic pencil that only would work in the Plotline Hotline's private dimension, and they sped off in the right direction. They were a little daunted by the sign, but decided that Disguise could easily draw a sith for them, so they advanced towards the building.

So after a few more introductions, the refugees from The Ignored of the Rings set out from Plotline Hotline, intent on rescuing The War Tavern from AMAZING GUY!, a trouble which had ended quite some time ago. But they bumped into Batty Buddy, and Kovu, and Cobra, and Disguise, and Ducky, and the Pokesith, and they all started fighting. The three former Plotline Hotline employees had been told to stay back, so they couldn't have told the Medieval Heroes to not fight these people.

Darth Vader soon joined the frey, lightsaver swinging madly. And then High Chancellor Palpetine showed up, leading a huge army of council members, so there would be some nameless characters that could be killed off without remorse. Naturally, the battle soon called in super heroes, so Comb Man and ULTRA NURSE were there, complete with Cutey Pie. Jim Drab, leading a vast array of Ben Class Scorpions, showed up, as he had decided he wanted to run Plotline Hotline again. And ANTI-TUBBS had heard from an unreliable source Tubbs would be there, so he arrived, several Happy Puppy Pickle Co. zombies with him, holding machine guns and pickle launchers.
The OMNI-BOT had finished with Tokyo, and the BeBop Cola machines had finished with the rest of the world, so they also joined in the huge fight. TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC was also there, having left the Legends Only server in a huff, and was bashing heads energetically with his ten tentacles. The Plotline Hotline employees had come along, and were distressed to see all these people fighting at their workplace, so they joined in the battle for no reason. GenEXMRT, having fought the second assistant costume designer's coffee holder of the Brady Bunch victoriously, also showed up, Arncecroc now in genie form floating along behind him. Arjan showed up, deciding this was even better then the Godly battles, and began throwing lightning at everyone.

Back in the War Tavern, that place you had forgotten about, Beauman was once more running the James Bond cameras. And everyone in the Tavern was watching the vera huge fight, and wondering who a lot of the combatants were.

But suddenly, as everyone was fighting madly, and people dieing by the score, Arncecroc revealed his true form. And there, standing among the temporarily stunned fighters, was a huge abombination. And he pointed his finger, and fire leapt from his finger. Fire from the opposite of heaven. All touched by it were consumed, including Arjan. And the universe blew up, just as the evil person in the hospital was about to do something nasty to Ancoysd, who was still in a coma.

And The Plotmaster, Keeper of the Plot Holes, watched this, and he was displeased.

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

...

[Violet CLM]

Blah, I didn't think how hard that would be to continue to, did I? And to think I was getting rid of the plot that nobody was really replying to.......

Feel free to have some confrence of the omnipotent powers, or the universe righting itself with some changes, or whatever happen. And Plotmaster could well be all powerful, and able to fix this up. Who knows?

[Ducky]

Lol! THat was so funny, Unknownie! I started laughing aloud at the Lord of The Rings characters. THose were great names. Lol...
What I was going to say was it reminded me of a dream I had last night. Everyone had decided not to destroy the ring and they took it home and reforged it with a picture of apples on it and then some people came along and chased me and a bunch of other people to an art studio were a guy tried to help us by giving us a rug(I'd been watching Aladdin ;P) but that didn't work so the bad people caught us.

Okay. To the point. I don't think I can continue this.

..sorry..

[Violet CLM]

The Plotmaster, Keeper of the Plot Holes, turned away from the first story window, and returned to the table.
"Well, the universe just blew up. All the fault of the War Tavern characters, as usual."
Utah, of the famous Watchers, turned his enormous head. "Don't blame yourself, Plotmaster, old boy. The Marvel universes blow up all the time!"
"And I say you two just are on a much too high scale." grumbled a green bug with antennae, dealing the cards. "Back in DC, we may have Crisises of Infinite Earthes, but whole universes are a little much."
"You could be right, Ambush Bug," said The Plotmaster, picking up his hand and examining it, "but when one is in charge of a universe, one also feels a little guilty when it blows up."
Ambush Bug *Pop*ed over behind Utah, snuck a quick look at his hand, and *Pop*ed back to his chair.
Utah glared at the orginless creature for a moment, then returned to studying his cards. "Well, if you feel like the universe's time had not yet come, you could always try to resurrect it. There must be some magic power in that high silk hat-errrr, those plot holes you're always bragging about."
The Plotmaster gasped, and accidentally flashed a few of his cards at Ambush Bug, who accepted the information readily. "The Plotholes? But.. they're far too dangerous! There's no knowing what might come out of one!"
"You want to save your universe, don't you?" responded Utah, looking nigh-omnipotent.
"I guess you're right.. last hand, then."

Sometime later, after Utah and Ambush Bug had gone home (See you next crisis!), The Plotmaster entered the odd room that was filled with plotholes, the place that Beauman had somehow found him in once. Gingerly, The Plotmaster reached into a plothole, and pulled out the first thing that came to hand.
"I wuv you, you wuv me, we're a happ-"
"ARRRRGHHH!!!!!!!"

Several hours later, after dealing with both the Teletubbies and Dreamylandless, The Plotmaster finally pulled what he was looking for out of a plothole. The fabled......

Holy Grail.

There were a few Monty Python characters attached to it, but they were thrown back into the plothole, and The Plotmaster gazed at the chalice for a bit. Gingerly, not totally sure how to operate the thing, The Plotmaster put the Grail up to his lips.. and spat out the liquid inside.
"Blagh! This tastes disgusting!"
Some of the Grailified saliva splattered onto walls, but adding to the general apprehension, a little slopped through one of the plotholes The Plotmaster had not tried yet.


"Where... where are we?" asked Fire Sword, looking around as best a Fire Sword is able.
"I don't think we're in Carrotus anymore, Toto." said Batty Buddy. The Pokesith had ran away exploring, so he was feeling a little lonesome.
"I'm in good health once more!" cried Ancoysd. It was true, his stroke was gone.
Unknown Rabbit, who had been there longer then most of them, remembered where he had seen these paticular decorations before. "Creatures, I just remembered where I have seen these paticular decorations before."
"Are you sure?" asked Cobra, who was a little disconcerted to see him alive.
"Course I'm sure, it just said so. Anyway, this looks just like Heaven. I've been here before."
"Then we're all DEAD!" screamed The Psycho. He fell onto the ground, screaming and clawing at nothing. An angel floated up, looked at the poor creature, and turned to SlaYer.
"Don't worry sir, this happens regularly. Some people just can't quite adjust at once."
"Wait.. who are you?" asked Unknown. This figure looked strangely familiar.
"I'm chief good doer around here. My name is Hansol Majawk. Don't worry, I know how you sort of came to life once more using my one wish, and I don't mind. Besides, you got here in the end." The angel gave a grin, and started dragging The Psycho away for rehabilation while Unknown Rabbit just stared a little.
"Hey Beauman, whatcha got there?" asked Kovu, who was still confused. Beauman was holding some sort of box.
"Well, I'm not sure, but I think it's what's left of our universe." said Beauman, kind of cradling the thing. All around them, other former inhabitants of the same universe as them were blinking into nonexistance. An angel walked up to Fquist and said "Sir, you'd better get in line. Some of the people who get up here don't really belong, and everyone who really wants to enter heaven must go through a metal checker first. The sooner you get in line the better - you don't want to be stuck here for enternity. Especially not with the constant new arrivals."
There was some general muttering, and the inhabitants of the universe the War Tavern had been situated in started milling towards a large building which closely resembled an airport. But then Darth Vader pointed up into the sky. "Look, up in the sky. What's that?"
"It's a blackbird." said Unknown, squinting.
"It's a plane!" cried Disguise, getting out a sketch pad.
"It's the jitterbug. Move along there, move along." said Xavier, using his cane to whack stragglers.
"No... it's a plothole!" cried Ducky, staring. And indeed, it was a plothole. A genuine plothole had appeared in the sky. Beauman walked foward, as if in a trance, and opened the box he was holding. A glowing liquid which was probably The Plotmaster's spit shot forth from the plothole, and landed in the universe. "No, not AGAIN!" cried Hansol Majawk, turning to someone who looked important. "He's getting away AGAIN!"

And then all was as it had been very recently. Everyone was fighting in front of Plotline Hotline. But this time, when Arncecroc revealed his true form, The Plotmaster said "Oh no, I don't want to go through that again." and created a plothole underneath the rouge whatever. Arncecroc was teleported back to wherever he belonged. The fight kind of stopped in surprise, and when nobody was looking, Batty Buddy got inside Plotline Hotline. And the Pokesith, which somehow knew the mechanics of the machines inside, sent the time back......

to the time when...............

[Violet CLM]

Humbug. I missed the 4000th view by ONE!

[Hareoic]

Cuteness bills? Please, I don't want to be married yet:(


GenEX was suddenly inspired to take action. He bust out of his Brady imprisonment and took some winged sandals out of his bag(*cough*Hermes*cough*)and took off into space. Locating the tavern at last, unaware of what was going on, he remodeled the tavern again, this time creating a master control room, which would be all his. He settled down in his big comfy chair and made various improvements to the tavern systems via a supercomputer. Of course, he also brought along 100 kittens that could talk to him but not to other taverners(*cough*Morwen*cough*). This was his duty now. Being a hero was just not worth it in his opinion.

[Violet CLM]

CONTINUITY ERROR.
QUICK RECAP FOR GENEX:

Basically, things were getting really hectic, so lots of different parties decided to go to the Plotline Hotline, where they could set the time back to before whatever they didn't like happened. And they all went there, and almost everyone in the entire story showed up, and they had a huge fight, and the universe blew up. But The Plotmaster, keeper of the Plot Holes fixed up the universe, and everything was back to the fight. Batty Buddy got away from the fight, and his little Pokesith went and set the time back to a date that is waiting for someone to say what it is.

END OF QUICK RECAP.
BACK TO NORMAL SPEECH.
THUS, what you said makes no sense. Sorry though.

[Hareoic]

"Ah, now this should bring the battle in our favor," GenEX said proudly. He finished his latest addition to the Tavern arsenal. Now all he had to do was get to the battle scene.

A few seconds later, GenEX made it to the Plotline Hotline. "Time for phase one of 'Apocalypse later,'" he said as he pushed a button.
Calling through the loudspeaker, he yelled "ALL TAVERNERS MUST GET ON ONE OF THE TRACTORS THAT YOU SHOULD SEE AROUND YOU!" Thus, everybody who was still alive managed to fit somewhere on the giant tractors. GenEX pushed another button, and the tractors floated up to the TavernShip. Shouts of all the other characters could be heard below.

"Lemme guess, that was your 'tractor beam?'" questioned Beauman. GenEX nodded, and pushed a big shiny red button that said "Panic Button". His voice came over the loudspeaker inside the tavern, "ATTENTION ALL TAVERNERS. WE ARE PREPARING FOR BATTLE. BUCKLE YOUR SEATBELTS, DO NOT ATTEMPT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM OR ADJUST YOUR PICTURE, CANCEL THE THREE-RING CIRCUS, THERE WILL NOT BE A MOVIE ON THIS FLIGHT, STUFF IS GOOD, DON'T FORGET TO-"GenEX stopped himself before he got carried away. Sitting himself in the special custom-made Battling Stationâ„¢, he made sure the Tavern was in Auto-Pilot before he got in his cockpit and prepared his vast weaponry. He had no idea what everybody was fighting about, but GenEX wasn't in the mood to be delayed for his live singing of "Pretty Fly for a Rabite".

Did I do something bad?:(

[Violet CLM]

I'm telling you that stuff is totally out of continuity! We're waiting for a post to tell us exactly what time the universe was sent back to, due to Batty Buddy's Pokesith.

[Hareoic]

30 seconds ago?

[Violet CLM]

..it was Christmas, and the Golden Knight was found by the C&CJP, and ANTI-TUBBS reformed, and Jim Drab and Plotline Hotline continued searching for Blagagnga. Except this time, the dinosaurs Didn't get loose at the future earth, and ANTI-TUBBS Didn't become evil again (at least, not right then) and hire Ancoysnd as a super hero, and Blagagnga Didn't get roasted by Newspaz, who would later be killed by Darth Maul, and Jim Drab Didn't get replaced with a mutant inverted blue octopus. In short, everything was back to normal. Unknown Rabbit was still swathed in bandages and the like from top to toe, but he wasn't dead. Ancoysnd got the job vacancy at Happy Puppy Pickle Co. instead of Kovu, and Disguise forgot his announcement and made some anicent ruin tileset of general aclaim. Shigeru Miyamoto, as there Wasn't someone to replace him, Didn't go on a vacation, so he Wasn't sucked into first Teh Gamcub Dimenson, then the GameRhombadececedron Dimension. GenEX Didn't become cute, as there Wasn't any AMAZING GUY! to punch his head in, so he Didn't meet the Second assistant costume designer's coffee holder of the Brady Bunch, and Didn't summon Arncecroc, who Didn't destroy the universe. Batty Buddy and Kovu, after a slight misadventure with some BeBop cola machines, got back to the War Tavern, where they attracted the attention of the wall Fquist had fallen in love with once with their story. It began to follow them around for a while, but there was an unpleasant incident with a ball and chain.. and I won't go into the gory details. Because ANTI-TUBBS Didn't hire Ancoysnd for his evil purposes, your favorite three former Plotline Hotline employees Didn't hear about this, and Didn't go get Darth Vader to assist them in creating the characters from Ignored of the Rings. High Chancellor Palpetine, due to not having the funds from Newspaz's modified will, Didn't change around the Plotline Hotline machines so only Sith could use them. He and Darth Vader killed eachother while Luke watched, without any former Plotline Hotline employees to intervene. Cobra and Ducky Didn't get a ride with the Evil Driver who looked like Elfis, as GenEX didn't go to a cute contest. Thus, Unknown Rabbit wasn't killed in a lake, and the Bongo of the Jedi wasn't broken. The evil person in the hospital didn't manage to do whatever he intended to, as ULTRA NURSE! showed up, and defeated him righteously. ANTI-TUBBS, due to having reformed, Wasn't visited in the night by Beauman, and thus Wasn't stranded Somewhere near the beginning of the year by non scientific standards past for a few hours. Nintendo, not having Ancoysnd as a temporaral lead game designer, Didn't make JJ3-5. And because of this, Opposition Publishing Co. Inc. Wasn't forced to make Snozz SnackSquirrel 2. As Kovu Wasn't required for a welcome back party in his name, Charlie Didn't go deliver pickles to the War Tavern, and will probably live to a ripe old age because of it, unless he gets involved in some other adventure. And the universe Didn't blow up, so Plotmaster and his friends Didn't have a poker game. Also, all the good citizens from the universe Didn't have to go to Heaven, so Hansol Majawk was spared the pain of Unknown Rabbit getting away again. Etc etc etc etc. To sum it up, Everything that happened in the last 33 posts is to be ignored. Pretty much a clean slate here. Yep yep. And, because you like them so, I'll try to think of a new plot related thingy.


Several days later..

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" cried GenEX, spitting the nails from his teeth. He, along with several others, had just been afixing a large banner saying the same over the 'Tavern door. BBoy complained drunkenly as a few of the nails bopped him on the head.
"Well, you've got to understand there are some hazards when you stand underneath something that's under construction!" cried Ducky from inside, where she was happily trying to outblow Blacksheep with a few of those things that make noise when you blow on them. Slayer was arguing with Cobra over the price of champagne, but spared the time to rip "December 31st" off of the calender. Beauman signaled everyone to come outside to watch the fireworks, and they did, with Slayer taking the counter he had been behind with him. Kovu kind of got tied to one of the rockets somehow, while GenEX looked perfectly innocent, but he landed in a pool, and none of his bruises were Too serious.

After the initial party had kind of died away, everyone got a bit drunk, except for the ones who either didn't drink or couldn't. So they weren't too alarmed when the night, to be obliging, turned stormy. Or when the door creaked open, and a redeyed figure walked in the door, and roamed the floor, as if searching for something.
"MY EYES HURT!" cried the figure at last, jolting some of the 'Taverners who were not yet too far gone back to moderate sobriety.
"Yeah, I Know it's a red eyed figure, but don't look at me, ok guys?" said Batty Buddy, trying to find any recognizable features on the new arrival.

[Hareoic]

"Yes!" GenEX cheered. Now he could sing Pretty Fly for a Rabite!
Getting up on the stage, he grabbed the microphone and sang.

Always acting bravely?
That's right, that's right.
Always acting bravely?
That's right, that's right.
Always acting bravely?
That's right, that's right.
And all the bunnies say I'm pretty fly, for a rabite.
(music plays)
Was living in a cavern, for my entire life,
I killed without much mercy, to fill my apettite.
But now I'm with the tavern as a genius engineer,
I upgrade all components yet I still have time to steer!

So come on in and have a sip of gin,
We have such drinks that your head is sure to spin!
Yeah we party long, and sing some songs!
We fly through space, we fly through space!
And we have our feud, host the the Beau, and you may picked to play sometime pretty soon.
So grab a party hat and, hey, hey, join our fearless crew!

Always acting bravely?
That's right, that's right.
Always acting bravely?
That's right, that's right.
Always acting bravely?
That's right, that's right.
And all the bunnies say I'm pretty fly, for a rabite.

We have a little fund that is very poorly spelled. It says to "SAV TEH DUKKYS" and I think the fund means well/ But it has few donations, I really don't know why. It's still chock full o' money but what's it used to buy?

Come and join the fun, there's room for more than one. We got running gags and all sorts of jokes and puns. Yeah, come and have some beer for it'll bring you cheer, but you better not get drunken or you best get outta here.

Put on a party hat, a silly looking one at that, go put on a party hat and, hey, hey, join our fearless crew!
(music stops)

[Violet CLM]

Actually, it's the "SAV TEH DUKKY FUND" (with backward "K"s). It originated in the JMMB, when Blacksheep kidnapped Ducky for a reason unknown, and left her at the north pole. Blacksheep then requested some random that had something to do with a helicopter, a lot of money, and a leather couch, so Cobra started raising money for this ransom with the "SAV TEH DUKKY FUND" box (with backward "K"s). At the moment, I really have no idea what it's used for.

[Hareoic]

Grrrrr... Do you know how long it took me to make that parody? At least 3 hours! And I knew it was "SAV TEH DUKKY FUND"(with backwards k's), but I had to make it rhyme and have a similar amount of syllables! This is all you have to say?
*eyes turn crimson with flames in pupils*

[Cobra]

Actually, I wasn't raising money with that box. I just came across that box in the tavern and put a dime in it, which Hip promptly took to buy some gum.

[Hareoic]

Because Unknown Rabbit didn't like the song, GenEX started a tornado outside the tavern and threw Unknown into the unknown. The tornado picked up speed and was sucked back up into the clouds. Unfortunately, Unknown Rabbit didn't land. He was thrown out of the planet's range of gravity. Of course, since much of the tavern was drunk, everybody applauded Gen's creative method of disposing of naughty people.:p

So now, Unknown Rabbit is LOST IN SPACE. Actually, he's on a planet with really uncomfortable chairs that have super duper ultra glue on the seats, really stinky air, intellect depriving gasses, black-and-white tv, and he has to watch reruns of LOST IN SPACE on high volume for punishment. A warning on the area of the planet states anybody who helps him will be fined 50000x more money than the amount they will ever have.



Are you sorry now?}>

[Cobra]

Be a team player, Gen.
Just because someone bugs you it does not mean you get to kill off/remove them from the story.

[Hareoic]

1. I didn't kill him

2. Wasn't that kinda like what happened to me?

[Violet CLM]

Uhhh, let's see...... you were murdered by a former Taverner who abandoned everything he had ever done, that got a job as a super hero. You then were turned cute, had tea with the second assistant costume designer's coffee holder of the Brady Bunch, vowed to destroy him, summoned an amazingly evil force in disguise as an amazingly cute genie.

How is that similar?


Unknown Rabbit stared at the screen numbly, except for the parts which had feeling. He was sure he had watched the entire series at least ten times by now, and the episode "One Of Our Dogs Is Missing" was getting Really old. As the ending neared, he found himself wishing the dog didn't save Judy from the giant. Then another jolt of the intellect depriving gasses hit him, and his intellegence ebbed away again, and he was sobbing as it looked like Judy would die.

GenEX glared around at the milling crowd, most of whom weren't looking at him. "All the rest of you liked my song, right? Just like My Story, it's the most fabulous thing ever, right?"
This started one of the more intelligent rabbits off on an essay which went something like "Well, actually, it's really impossible for any one thing to be the most fabulous thing ever, as beauty and fabulousisem are only in the eyes and ears of the beholder, which means that whatever one person make think is the most fabulous thing ever, another person shall disagree with, so-" until the big bad tornado huffed and puffed and soared him away to Never-Never Land where he fell in with Peter Pan and never really regretted having being soared away from the War Tavern.
"Now look here," said the mysterious red eyed figure, still roaming the floor. "I didn't come here as a mysterious figure that doubles as a plot device just to be ignored in favor of some rabbit who likes singing and conjuring tornados!"
"Oh, right." said someone, and the attention returned to the mysterious figure.
"What do you want here?" asked Slayer, in a "if you're here to cause trouble, get out" tone of voice.
"And who are you?" asked Ducky, in a "can't get any rest" voice.
"Whee! Stars!" cried BBoy, in a "I'm about to pass out on the floor" voice.
"And what is the difference between a Raven and a Writing Desk?" asked GenEX, in a "you're diverting attention from my absolute wonderfulness" voice.
"I shall answer your questions in reverse order, in order to make me look weird. The difference is that Ravens are best destroyed with Jazz's Uppercutt, while Writing Desks are best destroyed with Spaz's Sidekick. I can do nothing about your alchoholic problem. I am Vampyra Smurferama. AND I VANT TO SUCK YOU BLOOD!"
At this point, the mysterious figure shed its concealing garmints. A small, blue, blonde, fanged creature stood there in elevator shoes. It seemed to be selecting.
There was a brief silence.
A drunk snorted.
Blacksheep burst out laughing, and started mutilating the table with her fist, until Ducky told her to be quiet, and keep her tray table up.
"And now, it's time for, CANNIBAL FEUD!" cried Beauman, in a "it might work, so I'll try it" voice.
"With us today, from unknown regions of Pennsylvania-" cried Beauman, in a "game show" voice.
"That's TRANsylvania!" interjected Vampyra Smurferama, in a "what's with all the definition of our voices?" voice.
"-of Transylvania, is Vampyra Smurferama. And competing against her today will be....." Beauman got out this crane thing, and started reaching around through the crowd... until it dropped, and grabbed "Fquist! This looks to be an interesting match of Cannibal Feud, folks!
"I don't want to play!" cried Fquist, squirming in the grasp of the crane thing. "Put me down this minute, or I'll call my agent and sue the lot of you!"
"You want to be put down? Oh, ok." said Beauman, and deposited Fquist in the Cannibal Feud arena. A small "Enter Only" door opened, preventing Fquist from running out it, and Vampyra Smurferama entered with a "I'm going to be famous!" attitude.
"Ready....... GO!" cried Beauman, and Fquist ran in rectangles around the ring, with the Vampire Smurf in hot persuit. GenEX tried singing another song, but the attention was diverted, so he gave up.

Mindlessly watching the four space hippies try to destroy the Robinsons, Unknown Rabbit numbly felt his last bit of brain slip away from him. All was just a fleeting scene of various colors to him now, with no longer any meaning. A stream of what had formally been identified as grey swooped past, and he heard a noise. Not that he knew what hearing was. He sat there still, unmoving, eyes locked on the television that he no longer knew what it was. The endless reruns flew by, unknown to his barely existential consciousness. And then he felt another jolt of the intelligence depriving gas..... and his mind wrapped around somehow. He had become one of those super geniuses you always read about in insane stories. And naturally he was able to get loose. Using his newly developed psychic powers, he was able to slip out between the bonds ensnaring him. His injuries were oddly healed.. how long had he lain in that chair? Days? Monthes? Years? He stiffly made his way out of the room, though not fast enough to avoid another jolt of the gas, depriving him of the newly found psychic powers. But his genius was still considerable.

"Well, Fquist has put up a good sprint, making you wonder why he didn't enter in the olympics, but it looks like he's getting tired. We should see the main fight any time now, folks.."
There were a few ragged cheers, and Ducky brushed a few of the cobwebs out of her hair. GenEX had long since run out of fascinating songs, but as nobody had listened to them, he could use them again later with no fear of repitition.
Fquist leaned against the side, puffing. Vampyra, her fangs glistening in Spring's early light (just remember that she arrived on January First), headed slowly towards him. Fquist tried to get away, but his muscles were highly overtaxed, and he fell to the floor, gasping.
"Or maybe not! Well, it looks like Vampyra is going to take the first bite soon.."
As promised, the Smurf bent down, fangs ready, and sunk them into Fquist's neck a little. There was an unusual effect. Contrary to expectations, Fquist had not become another vampire.

Instead, he had become..

the almost equally dreaded....

FrankenQuist's monster. Slow and teetery, the former landlord bumped along to the opposite side, where he crashed through the wall. Vampyra Smurferama followed, cackling a little, then returned to her earlier task of what seemed to be selecting.

[Hareoic]

Since everything became quiet, GenEX knew he had to do something. This is the WAR Tavern after all.

"And now, Cannibal Feud infinity! We all fight and kill eachother," GenEX yelled into the microphone. Of course, nobody heard him. He decided to go back to his little chamber. He knew the sight of his precious little kittens would cheer him up. And it did.

Meanwhile, Unknown had dismantled the television and reconstructed it as a catapault. Unfortunately, by the time he launched it, the intellect depriving gas had deprived all his intellect. The whole time he was flying back to the war tavern he spent eating his belly-button lint.

[Violet CLM]

I must be missing something here...

Unknown Rabbit, over the space of monthes, loses all his intelligence. Then he becomes a super genius, and leaves the room. After that, instead of seeing what else is on the planet, he goes Back into the room, and assembles a catapault. This shouldn't take too long. Naturally, by the time he's finished, his intelligence is all gone. From the same gas that took monthes when he started with Less intelligence.

[Kaz]

I CLAIM THE 22ND PAGE AS WELL!

[Hareoic]

Using a regular tractor beam(not the one with REAL tractors), Gen pulled Unknown Rabbit into the tavern. He didn't look so good, he fainted from lack of oxygen, and Gen noticed his head was considerably lighter. "Sorry, just don't say that about my stuff next time!" he muttered as he hurried to his little room.

"Saw?"
"Saw."
"Laser?"
"Laser."
"Needle and thread?"
"Needle and thread?"
"Microscope?"
"Microscope."
Gen was asking his intelligent kittens for assistance, while the door to the room was bolted shut. Almost everybody waited nervously outside trying to hear what was going on. Gen took the very last brain cell from Unknown's head and analyzed it. "Hmmm, the gas was more effective that I thought. Luckily I know how to reverse this." He took various lasers and fired them into a mirror that pointed derectly at the cell. The seemed to merge before they hit. The cell multiplied until it was the same size as before. He put it back in Unknown's head and closed his skull.

"Uhhhh... am I being abducted? What's with all the lights? Oh, my head..." Unknown Rabbit stirred before realising who he saw before him. Himself in a mirror. GenEX put him in a bathroom, hoping he'd believe he hit his head and passed out.

Meanwhile, Gen was scattering catnip all over the War Tavern, and his kittens were going crazy. Slayer slipped and fell onto some of the ground plant and a cat made itself comfortable on his unconsious face.

__________________________

I hope you're happy now:(

[Cobra]

A plot hole opened and the kittens were sucked off to the distant planet of Ceramicus(is that the name of that JJ1 world?).
Unknown was rather irratated with Genex, and proceeded to get out of the room only to purposely drop the jukebox on Genex's head.

aHEM.

[Violet CLM]

"I haf had ENOUGH of being ignored! All uf my life I haf been ignored.. now that ends!" cried Vampyra Smurferama, having gained an accent. "FrankenQuist's Monsteer, fovard! Ve shall overvun this place!"

GenEX peered out from under the large, heavy and potentially projectile jukebox at the two monsters. The smaller, blue one seemed to be advancing towards Slayer's prone form, fangs glistening as the author couldn't think of a new word for it. A wise choice, really, as Slayer was a vampire hunter.
The larger one, who looked like Fquist, seemed to be advancing towards him. But why? Not really thinking of his vast psychic powers, Gen quickly drew his head back under the jukebox as FrankenQuist's Monster came near. Slowly, the clumsy thing picked up the large and heavy jukebox, took aim, and threw it at the bar. Various alchoholic and non alchoholic drinks spurted forth, and a champagne cork hit GenEX in the eye. He quickly got up, and not feeling like intervening with the course of events, fled to his private whatever room.

"What's all the commotion?" asked Unknown Rabbit groggily, coming out of the bathroom Gen had installed him in. And then "Ahhh!! Where are Abbot and Costello when you need them?!" upon seeing the monster and vampire terrifying everyone sane enough to be terrified. He quickly fled for the trapdoor, but slipped on some loose wine, and kind of smashed into Vampyra Smurferama just before she could bite Slayer's limp form in the neck. Slayer came to his senses, and without noticing the vampire and rabbit behind him, began yelling curses and looking for whomsoever had wrecked the bar.

GenEX hurridly looked around for his kittens. None of them were to be found! After a quick search of the various concealing artifacts to be found in the room, he ran back into the main Tavern, grabbed Batty Buddy, ran back into his room, and instructed the bat to draw him a Replay button, so he could see what had happened. Batty, happy to be away from the monsters, obliged, and GenEX learned how a plothole had sucked the kittens away to Ceramicus. Somehow jumping into the replay, Gen too was warped to Ceramicus, while Batty Buddy tried to look wise and failed.

"I VANT TO SUCK YOUR BLOOD!" cried Vampyra Smurferama again, and Slayer whipped around. A vampire! He had not tested his skills for quite some time! This should be fun. Grabbing a stake from his rack on the wall, the Vampire Vampire Hunter advanced towards the Smurf. Meanwhile, the creature formerly known as Fquist had been somehow convinced by Ducky to sit down and play a game of Bingo with Cobra and herself.

[Hareoic]

MY KITTENS! MY PRECIOUS KITTENS! WHY?! WHY?!
:(:(:(:(
*cries*

[Hareoic]

*whacks Cobra with a mace and runs*

[Violet CLM]

Don't worry, Gen, you went to Ceramicus with them! Just read my post!

[Hareoic]

Yay! My many kittens! All here! Oh, you are all adorable...:):):):):):):):):)

[Violet CLM]

"B2!" called out Ducky, having withdrawn a something with the same characters on it from the Bingo jar.
Cobra, who had been thinking of something else, made the "earphone" movement with her fingers and said "Excuse me, but did you say 2B, or not 2B?"
"I said B2. None of your cultural wise cracks." said Ducky, examining her Bingo Board.

GenEX, stranded on Ceramicus, but happy to be with his kittens once more, sung one of the songs he had sung earlier that nobody had paid any attention to, while at the same time walking around merrily.

"I feel so happy
I feel full of life
for you being here with me
has removed my strife.

I was gloomy
I was sad
but when I'm with you
I don't feel bad.

Ooo, ooo, ooo,
(Kittens), I love you
you make my aura glow brighter
every day in every way kemosabe."

He continued on like this for some time, singing various songs of praise to the kittens who were mewing about, while not really looking where he was going. So you can't be too surprised when he tripped and fell into one of the many pots laying around.

"Turn and fight, Vampire." said SlaYer, looming over Vampyra Smurferama, stake upheld. The Smurf spun around from Unknown Rabbit's neck, where she had been about to bite, and looked at Slay for a minute. Then, taking advantage of both her shortness and Slayer's tallness, she darted beneath his legs without much trouble. And then began an epic of thrusting, parrying, blocking, dodging, lunging, tripping, stumbling, falling, balance losing, crashing, smashing, bashing and generally lashing out at one another. At times it would look like Slayer had the upperhand, but then Vampyra would tie his foot to the jukebox in that rapid motion born of fighting for one's life, causing him to fall over on his face when he tried to move. And by the time he was up and untangled, the Smurf would be on the other side of the 'Tavern, looking for things to throw at him.

"A4!" cried out Ducky.
"We're playing Bingo here, not Golf." Cobra informed her, angry that she wasn't getting much luck with the drawn thingies. "Please try to keep your mind on the game."

Fire Sword turned to DDay. "Shouldn't we be doing something to help?"
"Who? Cobra, GenEX, Vampyra Smurferama, or Slayer?"
"Don't be silly. Slayer, of course."
"Nah. I'm sure he's got everything covered." said DDay, as Slayer went flying across the Tavern, having been tripped by Smurferama's conviniently placed foot. Righting himself, he began throwing stakes at Vampyra at high speeds, giving himself barely enough time to rearm before throwing. Naturally, the Smurf dodged them all easily, and managed to reach the ceilling by hopping on the various stakes stuck in the wall like steps. From there, she jumped into the Chandeiler (Which is constantly being repaired without mention), and cut the cable. Naturally, this would have been a good scheme if Slayer had been underneath. He was not.

"B4!" cried out Ducky, causing Cobra to tell her to please complete her sentances, instead of just leaving them hanging, so other people could know without question what was going to come-

Beauman, having set up a betting stand, declared it open to buisness. Many of the inhabitants got out wads of cash that they had not already spent on beer and that sort of thing, and bet some or all of it on one of the two battlers. The whole betting buisness ended kind of abruptly when one of Slayer's stakes cut through one of the holdings, causing the whole thing to collapse on top of Beauman. But it wasn't too bad, as the rabbits forgot about it, and Beauman thus got to keep all the bets.

"BINGO!" cried Cobra jubilantly, having finally gotten the letter/number to complete a line.
"No! You fool! You're supposed to let the Monster win, so it will be happy and stuffness with the feeling of Bingo Winning! As it is, you just made it.. angry." said Ducky, recoiling as FrankenQuist's monster, smote the table in two, and strode away. Picking Slayer and Vampyra up easily, the monster strode through a wall, and vanished into the night, still carrying the contenders.

"Oh, NO!" cried Kovu, after realizing what had just happened.
"What a calamity." said Batty Buddy, trying to sound less upset then he really was.
"Thish iz terrrribol!" slurred BBoy, after being revived and told what had happened.
"You said it!" said Unknown Rabbit. "No more bartender! What will we do?"

FrankenQuist's Monster, still carrying both the struggling Slayer and the docile Vampyra Smurferama, began to ascend the large hill that might or might not have been there before. Thunder and Lightning cracked spookily, illuminating the large old style castle perched on top of the hill. Slayer ceased his wriggling enough to ask where he was being taken, but the monster merely whacked him on the head. Everything went black.

The next thing Slayer knew, he was strapped to a table. There was no way of telling how long he had been unconscious, other then that it was still night. But that didn't really mean a thing, as night and day came and went depending on the mood the current author wanted. Glancing over, he saw FrankenQuist's monster strapped to another table, nearby. Vampyra Smurferama was working with some test tubes next to a Dutch Pastry Cook that had once stolen some apples from Batty Buddy, and was humming "Come into my lab, and see what's on the slab" in the manner of someone who is humming "Come into my lab, and see what's on the slab".
After what seemed an enternity of test tube work, the Dutch Pastry Cook came over to Slayer's head, and withdrew a inhumanly large saw from a pocket that was much too small to hold it, and said "Now, don't worry. This won't hurt a bit once the pain has subsided. And it's for a good cause.. you're donating your brain to this poor brainless creature!"
Slayer shivered as he felt the saw getting closer to his head, and closer.. and then a voice from his left said "Hold!".

[Hareoic]

GenEX rounded up all his feline friends and teleported back to the tavern. Unfortunately, his aim was a bit off due to the fact he was teleporting so many kittens. Thus he landed on the Dutch Pastry Cook, and his kittens didn't like the Dutch Pastry Cook. They hissed at, scratched, and bit the Dutch Pastry Cook, and a conviently placed brain sucking hose was nearby. The Dutch Pastry Cook had his brain transfered to FrankenQuist, so he didn't do much except bake and speak dutch. GenEX quickly untied SlaYer and took all of his many many kittens back to the tavern.

[Violet CLM]

Ok, we had three subplots. Check. That were built up in several posts. Check. Then, in one pharagaph, GenEX manages to destroy all three. Check. In the process, he ignored the fact that he fell in a pot, and that a voice said "Hold.", and that Vampyra Smurferama was there. Check. I'm annoyed. Check.

[Ducky]

It's okay, Unknownie. He can't help it; he's a god!
His brilliant mind is incapable of comprehending the little details like sub-plots and voices and pots.

We'll just have to bear with it; although, Gen, at the risk of being Moddie, it is wise to pay attention to details in other peoples' posts in group stories.


*quivers*

[Hareoic]

I'm sorry, I just wanted my kittens:(
*snuggles his scottish fold*
You are so cute...:)

[RockyR]

It looks like this is rather developed, but remembering how I'd say 'localized' stories in here are I can't go through and read he whole thing.
What happened, what's important?
Could someone go over that so I can see if I want to join in? ^_^'

(Rocky)
Stuff is good..

[Violet CLM]

Recent Recap:
Everything that had been posted for a while was erased, due to Batty Buddy's Pokesith setting the time back to Christmas. Then GenEX sang a song, and Vamprya Smurferama came in, and turned Fquist into FrankenQuist's monster. GenEX was sent to Ceramicus, along with his intelligent kittens. Slayer fought with Vampyra, while the monster played Bingo with Ducky and Cobra, until it lost, at which point it took Slayer and Vampyra up to a castle on top of a hill. A Dutch Pastry Cook that hadn't been mentioned in the story for ages was there, and was about to transfer Slayer's brain to the head of FrankenQuist's monster, when GenEX teleported in, put the Dutch Pastry Cook's brain in instead, saved Slayer, and teleported back to the War Tavern, where everyone had been debating on what to do now that there was no bartender. Thus, except for the Vampire Smurf and the Dutch Pastry Cook monster that was formerly Fquist up on the hill, we are plotless.

It's also Early Spring, if that's important.

[Ducky]

Hey, Rock, you bacK?

I think we could work off that early spring detail, Unknownie.

*cough*Easter?*cough*

I'm too delirious to try and salvage a shred of the situation.

[Kaz]

RR must save us!

[Violet CLM]

Ancoysnd strolled in a carefree fashion into the office of Honorable Mr. ANTE-TUBBES, owner of Happy Puppy Pickle Co. Being a good, efficient, fast working worker, he was the top canidate for whatever new publicity stunt that boss was planning now. And whoever did it was promised a bonus if there weren't any problems. So it was with a feeling of iminent cash that Ancoysnd sat down in a chair when ANTE-TUBBES told him to sit down, and listen.
"Sit down, and listen. Now, Happy Puppy Pickle Co. sales have been steadily dropping for the last few minutes. This must be remedied."
"Gosh, you really take your job seriously, don't you?"
"It is my duty to make sure Happy Puppy Pickle Co. does well. Now, as you know, Easter is coming up. Easter means Easter Bunny. You are a Bunny. I need you to dress up as the easter bunny, and go from door to door delivering Choclate Eggs in packages reading "Happy Puppy Pickles... they're good!" in cutesie letters. Got that?"
"Yes sir, Mr. ANTE-TUBBES sir!" Ancoysnd saluted, and began to leave the room.
"You'll find your costume and supplies in Locker 4!" called out ANTE-TUBBES, but Ancoysnd only heard "You'll toss them in surprise at Locker 24!". Curious, he went to Locker 24, and opened it. Inside was a costume, and a large sack of small packages.
Gingerly, Ancoysnd shouldered the stuff, and went into a changing room. However, when he began to unfold the costume, all the lights went out.
Moments later, ANTE-TUBBES' voice came in over one of the loudspeakers installed everywhere. "WE ARE HANDLING A SMALL POWER SURGE.. IT SHOULD NOT LAST LONG. WORK AS USUAL." Ancoysnd, using some of the vast skills he posessed, put on the costume and shouldered the sack, and walked outdoors into the cool night air. There was no moonlight to guide him.

"Hooray!" called out someone because I didn't want to think who said it, "The Bartender has returned!"
"As has GenEX." observed Batty Buddy, putting on a pair of spectacles to make sure.
"Can't have everything." muttered a voice from Dark Corner #2609, but no one paid much attention, except GenEX, who stalked off to his private something or other room in a huff.
"BEER FOR EVERY-" started Beauman, but Ducky whacked him over the head with a "None of that!" for inciting over work for poor Slayer, before returning to whatever she had been doing before.
"Uh, yeah, that's fine and all, but now we need a plot, people." said whoever talks like that. There was a murmur of minority assent which was quickly hushed by those who didn't agree.
BlackSheep yawned, and fell asleep on the table.
There was a knocking at the door.
Strangely, the door did not explode inward.
Or outward.
"I'll get it." said Cobra, glaring at the ones who didn't want to. Walking over to the door with the intention of opening it, Cobra opened it, letting a figure in. Ducky gasped and stole BB's spectacles, and put them to her eyes. "It's a mad axe murder, with a belt full of knives!"
They all looked. The person at the door did appear to be what Ducky had proclaimed him to be.
"HAPPY EASTER!" cried the figure, having not heard Ducky, thinking he was dressed like the Easter Bunny. "Have some Chocolate Eggs, kiddies!" So saying, Ancoysnd (For it was he) withdrew some packages from his sack and threw them wildly over the 'Tavern. "Whee! Go get'm!"
A few of the less sober rabbits frolicked across the floor madly, and after a tussle, Kovu had them all. "Gee," he said, pulling out a little plug in one side, "what are these? They don't look like no Chocolate Eggs I've never seen!"
Beauman leaned over, got a suspicion, drew out a scanner, scanned the object, had his suspicion confirmed, shouted "THEY'RE GRENADES! RUN! BEAUMAN AND CHILDREN FIRST!" and quickly threw the uncorked one out the door, where it hit Ancoysnd in the face.
Ancoysnd had heard what Beauman had said, however, and ran, leaving the grenade to fall into the sack.
There was a very large explosion.
"Well, cool, now we've got an unplumbed depths endowed pit to whosoever knows where right in front of the door, making it impossible to really get in or out!" cried Fire Sword.
Beauman sold action figurines of Ancoysnd in Mad Axe Murderer With Belt Of Knives And Sack Of Grenades costume.


Uhhhhh, yeah?

[Hareoic]

Meanwhile, GenEX was working on his latest invention. And was finished. "Behold, my kittens, the Paw Controller! It hooks up to any system and makes it possible for animals who don't have poseable thumbs to play games!" All the kittens meowed happily and played GenEX at a bunch of games. Unfortunately, they weren't too good at the games. But soon they beat GenEX every so often. Still, GenEX was good, as he kept saying "''Ahoo! Butter me, I'm on a roll!"

Meanwhile, SlaYer was fighting Vampira Smurf, who had no long range attacks. SlaY kept throwing stakes and knives covered in holy water, yet Vampira dodged them all. Then, a radiant light appeared before them and somebody's face appeared. "SlaYer," it said. "You are no longer part of the War Tavern. Your vulgar language has led you to permanant banishment. Now you must also live a new life..." His eyes glowed and both SlaYer and Vampira Smurf were trapped in giant beams of white light. The figure disappeared, but so did SlaYer and Vampira.

When SlaYer awoke, everything around him seemed huge. "What the smurf just happened? What is this smurfy place anyway? And what in smurfs has happened to my voice?" he looked in a clear blue pond and gasped. He had turned blue and was wearing a white hat and pants. "Holy smurfs, I'm a smurf!" That's when Vampira woke up. She was a regular smurf now, and SlaYer found her to be very pretty, as Vampira though SlaYer was handsome. So they both got married and lived smurfily ever after.



Meanwhile, the story continues...

[Violet CLM]

Totally out of continuity. Slayer was in the 'Tavern, Vampyra was in the castle, and due to hole in front of the door of the 'Tavern, neither Slayer or Vampyra could really have gotten to eachother.

[RockyR]

I still didn't catch everything so this might not fit.

Bluez passed out drinks and watched television behind the bar. If the pay wasn't so good he'd replace himself with a paper cutout and make a self-service.

Steel Talon passed out from the drinks and landed himself in his entree. When he came to all that was left was what was stuck to his head. A real shame, a real shame. Look, it's haze. Steel Talon moved to face him and found that he was eating ribs.
Had anyone put Steel Talon's missing rib dinner on a milk carton these would have matched up perfectly. Haze tried to shift away but inebriated Steel Talon's foot found his way to Haze's belly.

:Shoot, that is uncomfortable dude, ow ow ow!!: growled best he could Haze. Steel Talon's foggy mind heard shoot and he shot a good number of holes around the restaurant area.
Haze had swallowed the rib whole and he felt awful sans the pleasant feeling given to him by the steak sauce. Steel Talon felt full of anger and spite.

Then he fell asleep in his own arms. Haze left the area to his best interest.

A mild incident that no one really saw. A larger problem at hand was Dethman who had his fair share to drink and had brought his katana sword with him
(In the old stories he had one, remember?)
He practiced techniques with it to the dismay of tablesitters and lazy boys in his area. The poor tables all cut clean in half, splinters all over the floor (If you remember it was fourty inches long, bad times).

No one could really try and calm him down, and what was the problem anyways? The 'ladies' as would be called around the tavern were all so chaste Bluez had to change ladies' night to 'black wolves' night where all those lazy bums from Black wolves would come in and have reduced drink prices. Merlin founded the Tavern after all, and most especially. But he had now realized he had to reconsider this too.
Cheeze suggested 'Cheeze night' where he would get a bottomless glass but Bluez turned him down to keep 'olive garden' lawyers from arriving at the doorstep. One of the drunks suggested 'drunk night' to him, anyone who came in drunk got free drinks, but wasn't that self defeating? It sure was.
Bluez decided for now that while he could get away with full prices all the time he may as well. (***This means one of you folks should think of a drink special night for Bluez) He really made top dollar considering no one ever chronicled much of these guys leaving the War Tavern.
Television around here was awful and most of them were turned off. That one guy (GenEX)'s cats were enjoying it but who else likes those nature channels?
Bart was nearby with a new action figure series, 'poseable thumbs'.
:They bend into all sorts of shapes!: he let be known. They were like putty of his hands. They could stick together and he made a thumb-hand. That kept him busy for a good time.
There was a janitor called to the scene as there was a plot - hole in front of the door.
:I can't tell them apart they're both devoid of all continuity, logic, and more.: He really was that confused. Miss Admael didn't like that one bit and she pushed him right one bit in. It wasn't productive at all. She took out a level, a ruler, and some boards and read out a door alchemy. She added four new doors, and without even using the wood, they turned out to be the automatic glass ones and one revolving door. The drunks and children began playing with them immediately. If they were manmade they would have shortcircuited rather soon.

(Rocky)
Stuff is good. ^_^'

[Hareoic]

"Awww, c'mon Gato, hook the cable back up, nobody likes the Nature Channel! Tell ya what, I'll make you a hologram deck so you and all your buddies can be IN nature. I'll make sure even you won't be able to tell that it is only an illusion. Lemme see, I'll need a RealScent system, a Solillusion utility, no, an Ultimate HoloSenses Program..." GenEX went to work on his gizmo, who was drinking beer and flirting with Cobra, who tried to smack him with her admin rod but he hardly flinched.

Beauman was selling great tasting beer for 500,000,000,000,000,000,000,000$ with a promise of "BUY ONE GET 20 FREE". Of course, it was only effective once. Yet he still got everybody old enough to drink to buy them 5 times more. After all, a drunk person is more likely to buy beer at a high price than anybody else. Then Beauman decided to join everybody, and the entire tavern was drunk, except for GenEX, his kittens, and Fquist, who was hiding in a closet, hoping everybody would think he was FrankenQuist.

"Hic-Giz-mo, you are kinda-Hic-cute yourself." said a seriously drunken Cobra. The entire tavern turned into a lovesickness dome. Male and female rabbits suddenly got together and danced and such, which they would never normaly do with eachother. Dethman could hardly hold his sword straight as Ducky kept hugging him. He accidently smashed the tavern walls and was almost sucked out into the vacuum of space, but GenEX had prepared for that a long time ago, with an emergency airlock made of titanium. Unfortunately, Deth's sword was stronger, and he was trying to impress the girls with how strong he was, which resulted in all the taverners in that room(which was all the drunk ones) to be hurled into space. Some thought of the possibilities of being lost in space only as an excuse to get close with one another.

"Arg, I though I told them I get 3 meals a day or I turn them all into 2 dimensional cardboard cutouts! I'm gonna get to the bottom of this." GenEX complained. He walked into the main room of the War Tavern, and was almost sucked into space. He used his handy psychic powers to seal off the hole just seconds before being blown into space. "I'm all alone," he said to nobody in particular, although particular was so far away that nobody couldn't hear him at all. "I know what to do now... I GOT RID OF ALL THOSE FREELOADERS! PARTY!" He threw streamers up in the air and his kittens danced around him.




Now don't kill me for what I've just done...

[RockyR]

In being sucked to space, in fact, they had been sucked out into a 'space for rent'. Sometime between installments it seemed that outside Carrotus had quit its job and left an empty mess.

:No, Carrotus, come back, we need you here, you offer our only stability in this mindless world: asked Jazzy.

:You don't care abut me any more: it moaned.

:Wow, that's mad cheesy: said Speedy to himself.

:Come visit me sometime you slackers!: it complained.

They thought it over and realized they should get outside more often, after all, it was 'Early Spring' or 'Easter'.
:We can go an an outing: suggested Ducky. And it was just ducky and more, an outside field trip for the environmentally deprived friends of the Tavern.

(This is where you write about the outing ^_^)

(Rocky)
Stuff is good
He'd probly get all serious.

[Violet CLM]

Somehow, they were back in the 'Tavern. Probably to spare them some trouble or another that they might have faced if they weren't back in the 'Tavern. GenEX managed to fix all the tables with some magic glue, to show once more how amazingly perfect he was, but then Gizmo whacked him over the head for impersonation. Dethman sort of got kicked out rather rudely by Slayer for causing a lot of trouble, while Admael used her apparent manufacturing powers to repair the wall, which now had Carrotus in Early Spring on the other side, just like it should.
"So, when do we go on the outing?" asked Speedy. A few creatures wondered where he had come from, but when there isn't any really serious plot around, characters kind of appear and disappear, so that didn't matter.
"I say we go right now." said Ducky stoutly, having donned a nice pith hat. "Do not put off for tomorrow what you can do today."
"I was going to suggest putting it off until the day after tomorrow, though." said Batty Buddy. The 'Taverners had somehow sobered, as GenEX wasn't posting this continuation, to prevent me from having to add all those slurs and stuff.
Ducky shot BB a quick glare, then turned back to the rest of the crowd. "Outing. Now. Who's with me?"

Anyway, after some argument (where Carrotus once more stuck its oar in) they went out on an outing. Some rabbits hadn't chosen to come, and others had showed up from nowhere and wanted to accompany the rest. So it's as yet unknown who went along, other then Ducky.

"Look, a flower!" cried BBoy, having found something he thought was a flower.
"Are you sure?" asked Batty Buddy, getting a "Identification of Various Countryside Plants" book. It was kind of useless, as it only mentioned Types of Types of plants, not really important stuff like if a plant was a flower or a tree, but BB kept looking through it anyway.
"I don't really think that's a flower." said Rocky Racoon. He was a trained Enviromentalist, and thus knew the difference between a flower and a tree, unlike the book. After all, the book had never had any formal training.
"I say it's a flower." grumbled BBoy, and attempted to pick it, to prove his point.
The Lion who's tail had been pulled erupted from the undergrowth (which RR had sucessfuly identified as overgrowth) and started chasing the outingers. But a few of GenEX's kittens had evidently been sitting around Ducky too much, as they managed to get the Lion to play a game of four way Chess with them. Everyone else kind of tip toed away, with GenEX shedding tears which Rocky thought were Daffodils because they couldn't possibly be Redwoods.

Kovu got a little lost. He had been walking along with the rest of the group, and he had bent down to smell what might have been a rose except for the fact it had polkadotts, and when he got up the rest had vanished. Actually, it was more likely they had walked off, not noticing him, but it looked as if they had vanished.
"Well, uh, that's too bad and all, but say..... without Ducky and Rocky watching over me, I can go back to the 'Tavern!"
So saying, Kovu began to walk in the direction he thought the 'Tavern lay. He soon tripped over a tree root, and complained that tree roots ought to have "caution" signs around them, but trudged on anyway. Soon he met another traveller.
"Hey, another traveller! Who are you?"
"I'm a Tour Guide. But I can't stop to talk, I'm on the job."
"Really? Well, you don't look like it, because you're not guiding any tour. Are they lost?"
"No," replied the Tour Guide mournfully, trying to forge through some brambles, "they reached their destination long ago. I'm the one who's lost. And while being lost with other people is bad enough, being lost and Alone is worse."
"Well, don't worry. I'm lost and alone too! We can be alone together!"
And so they forged through several square yards of thorns, neither noticing the clear, unsharp path right next to the thorns leading to the same destination.

Slayer was getting tired. He was a good walker, but one by one, many of the other rabbits had given him their packs to carry. This slowed him down.
"Hey, Ducky, where are we, anyway? This doesn't even Look like Carrotus!"
"Hmmm, good question." said Ducky, looking around quizzicly. "Hold this, I'll get our bearings." Ducky took off her pack, and put it on Slayer's back, at which point he sort of collapsed from the weight.
Several minutes later, Ducky bounced over to his buried form. "Slay! Guess what? We're not on Carrotus, just like you said!"
Slayer groaned from underneath the mound of backpacks. He tried to say something, but a nametag got in his mouth. It tasted vaugely like chicken, thought Slayer, taking a tentative bite.
Around him, other rabbits were overhearing, and running up to Ducky, saying things like "What do you mean, we're not on Carrotus?" and "Where are we, then?" and "When do we eat?".
"Why are you all asking Me?" asked Ducky, looking rather overwhelmed. And then, pointing to Rocky, "HE'S the outing leader!"
"Me? I thought you were!"
The talk continued over Slayer's head. He managed to utter a few pleas of help, but he wasn't really heard.

"And now," cried Beauman, back at the 'Tavern, "Survivor LXXVI! In which we bet who of the Outingers will be the last to return, and who will return next! Kovu has made an attempt to return, but got lost, so we may or may not be seeing him soon. PLACE YOUR BETS!"
Some of non energetic rabbits who hadn't gone along sleepily bet money on various outingers in one or both of the two categories, while a large TV screen showed various viewpoints of the main travel group in slow sucession.

[Hareoic]

Somehow, the aroma of flowers was really harming Gen's brain. All of a sudden, his eyes glowed red and he kept saying "Mwahahaha!" He grabbed his kittens and ran back to the tavern.

"Ok, people, place your- Ugh..." GenEX grabbed Beauman around the neck and threw him out onto the planet. He used his powers to take all the other taverners outside too. He then sealed off the portal and took the tavern into warp. "MWAHAHAHAHA! THE UNIVERSE SHALL BE MINE TO CONTROL! NOBODY CAN STOP ME NOW! MY POWERS WILL BRING AN END TO ALL LIFE! COME, MY KITTENS, LET'S WREAK HAVOC!"

[Ducky]

Gen and his kittens bounced off to wreak havoc, leaving the Taverners who hadn't gone on an Outing sitting in a scruffy hole, atop which the War Tavern used to stand. Rummageing in the now roofless wine cellar, Beau couldn't find his mic, so assumed it must still be in the upstairs part of the Tavern, which was now speeding through the universe with Gen and his kittens. Beau thwapped a keg of something with a crowbar and they all had a drink to steady their nerves. An awful thought was hitting them all, as awful thoughts tend to do, but no one uttered it aloud.

On the Outing, Slay placidly sweated beneath a mountain of packs until Rocky, tiiring of dashing across the countryside, offered to carry one. Ducky bounced along with a compass and staff, chasing butterflies and unwittingly leading everyone amok. Rocky trudged along, gleefully quoting poetry in a rather unRockyish manner.

Kovu and the Tour Guide got thwapped in the face with some bracken, and shared the Tour Guide's last chocolate rabbit, which was not a grenade.




*yawn*

[RockyR]

Some of them wanted to go back inside to the Tavern but it was rather out of reach.

:No me gusta, yo tengo hambre: growled Rocky. No one had brought much food, a real calamity.
Admael looked excited and pulled out a set of dishes.
:I broguht some spam! Now with new turkey spam. Spam, spam!: she described. :Sorry, I wouldn't feed that to a dog..: slurred Rocky. Then she nailed him in the head with a two by four and that was the end of that.

Baeuman seemed to have a small laptop in his backpack and he secured it to his shoulders and looked for a source of fun. All he found was 'minesweeper'. What a rotten piece of work that was. He considered turning it over to an anti-mine coalition. Really, he was having an awful time. stripe happened to have a jazz 2 disc with him. Baeuman was appaled! :Why do I need to play this? It's nothing short of reality.: It was all true.

His batteries wiped out and he was done with that.

:Look, bear cubs!: yelled Bart. They all looked at them. Their paws looked cold. Monolith had an idea. He ran down to them and offered to sell then pairs of small loafers. They were furious with fury. And quite vulgar too, Monolith couldn't believe the string of hate being tied around him by the small bears. They had been offended apparently. He stepped away efficiently and they laughed and made obscene gestures. When Monolith turned around he looked ill. :Man, I thought you were supposed to be scared of the mother.: he dropped. He packed the loafers away.

GenEX in space was doing parlor tricks and juggling with the entire Tavern building. He had never thought of that before and what a good time it was.

Back on the surface again it still wasn't proving to be the great outdoors. Cheeze had an impending clever look on his face and said to the closest recipient .. :Maybe, we'll see a rabbit.: A large amount of space soon found its way around him as everyone moved away. Dino had a nice bucket of cans of pineapple slices but was without an opener. Masterfiend landed a molotov on the pile of cans and they sure did open, but with the burning, and the explosion, the contents had evaporated. Dino tried his hardest to ingest the air for the flavor.
'The fquist project' had grown peaceful in the realms of nature and was skipping rope with F.quist. Neither of them being teh conventional sort of fellows they were actually taking pieces of rope and tryin to skip them across a pond like rocks.

The planet was smiling happy but most everyone else was feeling deprived.

(Rocky)
Stuff is good.
(Cause we - eat lions?)

[Kovu aka Alec]

*Is confused* Recap anyone?

Beauman was apparently drunk or insane, as he had broke his laptop into a million pieces and with them, constructed something that vaugley resembled a table.
"COME! It's not too late! Bet on who will come back first! Bet who will come back last! Bet on if they'll all get lost! Bet! Bet, BET!" Beauman fell deeper into the smoking crater, completely smashing his laptop table.

Meanwhile, Kovu and Tour Guide enjoyed a grenade, having run out of non-grenade chocolate bunnies.

[Hareoic]

You realise that as an evil character I can manipulate time and space as well as the entire universe to whatever I wish. (but maybe I can hint you on why I'm doing this in a riddle: My kittens are my prized possesions)

[Violet CLM]

Sorry, Kovu.. I'm a ittle confused myself. Rocky keeps bringing in these characters from the past who have never been mentioned once in all the many pages of story. But here's what I can figure out.

Carrotus got mad at the 'Taverners for being indoors too much, so a lot of various beings went out on an outing. Slayer is carrying most of the packs, and either Ducky or Rocky is in charge. At the 'Tavern, Beauman is trying to get people to bet on various things the Outingers will do, and Stripe is also there.

Kovu got seperated from the main party, and met up with a Tour Guide, and they're exploring together. And none of the Outingers know very much about nature, Rocky being the wisest (though that's not saying much). And GenEX went off on his own with his kittens, stealing the 'Tavern in the process, into space, and plans to destroy the universe because some flowers told him to.

[Kovu aka Alec]

You control the whole universe, GenEX? What are you, god?
Sorry...*grabs fire extinguisher to put out any incoming flames*

Hmm, dispite things going on, it seems we've reached another plot rut. Help! I need some plot! Help! Not just any plot! Help! I really need some plot! Help! Help! HELP!

[Hareoic]

You numbskulls!
(oops, oh well...)
Geez, it's obvious nobody has figured out my riddle. Of course, one word explains everything in there, so flowers have NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

[Ducky]

Gen, as a moderator...

dude, you gotta listen to what the other people do too, and it's not very easy for us when your an all-powerful chap who can do whatever he wants. You gotta play by some of the rules too, okay?



"Look, man!" Rocky flung himself across a meadow. "It's a car!" He lanched himself into the sleek black and red thing and revved the motor. He scruffed up his hair and cracked his voice. "Hey man...do i look like Zeke?"

No one knew what he was talking about, so the few dudes who had been able to keep up sat in the car and didn't answer. It had only four seats, and they were all fighting over who got to twiddle the radio knob.
"Moderator's right," Ducky said, and swatted their paws away. Slay opened his mouth to argue that he had a bartender's right, but Batty cut in. "POWER ABUSE!" he bellowed noisily, and Rocky slammed the groovy sports car into 5th and they zoomed off in search of a place to hang out and look cool. Lithie scratched his nose and Bart's jacket zipper started zipping rapidly up and down. Rocky and Batty started a conversation about holy mufflers over Ducky, who was wedged in the front seat flipping through the stations.
"Why am I always the only girl on these expeditions?" she grouched, not comprehending at all how scarves could be sacred. Bon Jovi's My Life came on 92.9 and she started screeching along as they bounced through a bog.

Gen Ex started drop kicking the Tavern, but stopped when the lamp outside the door flew off. He glanced around guiltily and attempted to glue it back on with a gluestick.



....Hm.

Sorry. ^_^

[Hareoic]

...........

I doubt I'd feel guilty.

(mutters how badly he failed to bring some seriousness and action to this thread

[RockyR]

Yeah, don't worry about some of the characters I throw in, I'm just more used to writing about them than some of whoever's been in the other 27 pages of this one. My additions aren't supposed to be anything to follow just for a good read. ^_^

Actually maybe you want to know hwo those folks are? That might make up for what little ideas I have.

Dethman - Cmon we remember him, the old 'legend' figure. In these stories he usually had a large sword and was black and red or something (Like that matters.) He was depicted as powerful and well known, because he was.

Cheeze - He's still here, I usually threw him in more because I know him, as the war tavern character he was a quirky guy who liked eating, women, liquor, and was a slacker.

Admael - Don't forget about Admael, she used to run the forum.
She was like eight feet tall and was a 'mage' so she could cast spells and that sort. Her personality was as it is, all pleasant, smart and clever with words.

Bart - Isn't he still around? Bart is used for fun and gags and things because his personality was much like that of the simpsons' bart. Good for spontaneous ideas.

Speedy - Is still here, I remembered about him because he just wrote a story down in this very forum. That's really about it, I only used him as a name, he was usually clever and fast paced.

Baeuman - He used to write a lot himself and had lots of robots and starcraft refernces and junk. He ended up having himself come up with huge mechanical robots and no one knew where he got them. (Good for a fix up, like Admael)

Masterfiend - Again someone else I knew and he's not important to the storyline. He likes fire and explosions, and I remember him having tusks and eating meat a good deal.

Jazzy - Used to write a lot too. He was generally a 'cool' character and did a lot of action stuff.

Steel Talon - A fun action, conflict character, he's still around. He was in the 'black wolves' clan with Merlin and Dethman so was generally depicted like them with the powerful and high rank sort of appeal.

Haze - Isn't he still here too? He was just a regular guy and built a large hotel onto the end of the tavern. He wrote a lot here.

Bluez - The old bartender (It seems like it's someone else now) with dark shades and blue fur. Did a lot of action stuff in his own stories but in this setting had a way with words and was very collected. He made himself related to Jazz or something so he was quite a popular guy.

Telemachaus - I didn't really want to use him, he was a midget character who dressed in classy suits and was able to add onto the tavern (Like televisions, rooms) rather instantaneously with sorcery, but he payed for it by stealing money right out of everyone's pockets.

Dino - Another old story guy, of course being purple and looks like Spaz, but a rounder face. He was a spontaneous guy and also enjoyed eating pineapples. Lots of random speaking from him.


Those are the old characters I keep bringing up. I also used Ducky, genEX so far.. ^_^

***If you want, do this with the new characters I missed here and we'd all be better off.

Wait, how about rocky?

Rocky - I don't like writing about him so much as he's my character but he was good. He eats donuts and has short ears. He isn't a raccoon. He's a lazy bum, sort of. Not one to not let his opinion be known. Takes a lot of hits for it.


---

Kovu was dead sick of nature by now, and decided to shoot at things. He rocketed a shot into the sky with a rather strong charge to it, and for the sake of plot, grew faster through space and created a large wave around it. As it shot past GenEX (Only because he wants us to, otherwise this is rather coincidental), his kittens were swept away with it, but with healthy space suits for the sake of their lives.

When the shot finally came back to him (Judging by the remarkable coincidences already) the speed of the shot must have grown rather fast and mr. Einstien proved right, they had all grown into large adult cats, their space suits bursting at the seams.

---


Looks like he wanted us to do that, the first part anyways. And I used kovu ^_^.


(Rocky)
Stuff is good.

[Violet CLM]

GenEX - guess what.. the last plot was so serious no one could comphrehend it! Which is why we had to get rid of it with a Time Machine, so it never happened. It's the Star Trek: Voyager principle.

Rocky - I know who all of those characters are (except the midget that I forgot the name of), it's just they're Old timers who aren't here anymore. Except Beauman. He's one of the "Four", as I call it.

Kovu - I'm working on it.

GenEX again - I agree with Ducky. Play by the rules, not that there are any. UNWRITTEN LAWS. Things that ought to be obvious.


"Wheeeee!" cried Rocky, having driven the cool car straight through a construction site. Batty Buddy wrote down "Construction Site" in his list of clues to what planet they might be on, bringing it to a total of three. Ducky, on the other hand, was too busy blissfully listening and joining in to/with the "music" erupting from the very large speakers, causing Slayer to hide his head under the pile of Packs he had taken into the car with him.

"Hey, where did the Expedition Leaders go?" asked Speedy, curiously. DDay shrugged, and BBoy tried to get drunk on pollen.
"They went off in a spiffy car, along with Slayer and Batty Buddy, stealing most of our packs in the process." said Fire Sword, as he had been paying attention.
"Oh.. what about Kovu?"
"He vanished a while back. Probably sniffed a flower too close and started seeing stars and wings on antelopes and everything."
BBoy quickly ran over to another flower and started sniffing it.
"And where did GenEX go?"
"He was having some brain damage, so he ran away with his kittens."
"So we're really without any big form of authority?" asked Bart, doing various card tricks.
"I guess so.." said Monolith, doing his best to remain idle and still scratch an itch.
"PARTY!" screamed BBoy, picking a boquet of flowers and shoving it into Mono's face, who quickly began rolling on the ground shouting something about bugs.
"Party, yes. Here, no." said Admael, acting the very model of someone who used to be in charge and still acts that way some times. "We go back to the War Tavern, and party there."
"Yshay!" cried BBoy.

"Meow?" said one of GenEX's grown up Kittens.
"HOW ADORABLE!" cried Kovu, crouching, and hitting the Tour Guide in the face with a tree limb which he had been holding back so the Tour Guide could past. Not noticing, Kovu began to fall under the same spell the kittens had worked on GenEX when they were younger. His eyes began to glow red, and he said "Mwahaha!" every three words or so.

GenEX suddenly snapped out of it. What was he doing, up in Space, with a large Tavern building, playing football with it, aiming a giant laser at an entire solar system? He couldn't really remember anything after falling out of the Sky on Tubelectric. Had it been Tubelectric? There had been ostriches.. Wait a minute.. "Ack!" cried GenEX. "I'm up in space without a oxegen mask! That's even worse then being up the river without a paddle! How am I doing this, anyway?"
After some experimentation, GenEX figured out that he could breath in space. He also had some mighty cool psychic powers. So to be nice, he sent the 'Tavern back to where it belonged, then went flying off in search of adventures elsewhere. Besides, he was probably late for work. Did he have a job?

"I like Jazz 2.." said stripe mournfully, looking as Beauman sunk deeper and deeper into the crater. He now seemed intent on reconstructing his Laptop again.
A rabbit walked sleepily up to Beauman, and thwapped him not so briskly with some lettuce. "Hey, Beauman.. *yawn* where's my money? I bet that... that...... *yawn* that Speedy would get back first.. and he *yawn* did... *gazawk*" said the rabbit, kind of falling asleep on Beauman's shoulder. Beau had gotten the general message, however, and leaped out of the crater in a single bound, to shake the hand of Speedy. "Congratulations! You just won the free prize of a pat on the back, for getting back the fastest!" So saying, Beauman gave Speedy a thump on the back, so that he fell into the crate, breaking the Laptop that Beauman had almost finished reassembling.
"Hey, what's that?" asked Stripe. Beauman quickly looked up. The War Tavern was returning, and at a high speed. "JUMP FOR COVER!" cried someone, waking up long enough to do so, and most of them fled for cover. But Speedy and the sleepy rabbit - along with a few rabbits who had thought it was cover - were still underneath the War Tavern when it landed with a satisfying "CRUNCH".

"THE WHEELS ON A CAR GO ROUND AND ROUND!" screamed Rocky madly. Driving a car was doing something to him, BB decided, and quickly took the wheel from the rabbit, who was now singing nursery rhymes to Slayer, who was still hiding under the packs.

[Kovu aka Alec]

"Uhm..." The Tavern Crater peeps and the Outing/Partay peeps(who had just returned for there partay) stared blankly at the destroyed and annihilated from of the post re-entry War Tavern.
"D'ya think it's stable?" Beauman asked.
"I dunno..." Rocky replied. Admael slowly approached it, reaching out for the black-charred doorknob. Then, the very instant she touched it, the Tavern collapsed, then exploded, into a flaming volley of flying very fat wood and brick and metal and alcohol.
Lot's o' alcohol, raining down.
"That's not good..." Beau commented, then turned on his cell phone to call Super Speedy Scrap Co.

Not two hours later, a squad of large, burly otters came by with a truck and piled the scrap into there truck.
"Gimme!" Ducky shouted.
"No way! This is Super Speedy property now!" The otter retorted, as the two of them tugged over the still relatively unscathed cherry table.

"How much did they give us, Beau?" Addie asked. Beau finished counting the wad of bills in his hands.
"3,000 Cr for all that scrap."
"How much will that get us?" Bboy asked.
"Uhm...let's see." Beau did some figuring, then awnsered.
"The beer taps and two chairs!"

"Kill, kill, kill, Mwahaha, Kill, kill, kill, Mwahaa." Kovu chanted, now in new Evil Garbtm with his Evil Piketm from an earlier adventure, along with an Evil Armytm and his Evil Kittens no tm with them, he would rule the world!
"I will rule, Mwaha, the world, yes, Mwaha!"

[Hareoic]

*is absolutely furious with Unknown*

Grrr... IT WASN'T MY KITTENS, OR THE FLOWERS, OR ANY OF THE TAVERNERS! Nobody figured out my clue, so I'll spoil the whole thing for you: I am POSESSED! By an old arch nemesis who is in My Story. The ruler of the universe! Ryu! The dragon! And now, look at this, I was going to make it an epic quest to defeat Ryu, and now you say it was my kittens? MY KITTENS DIDN'T DO IT! PERIOD!


*cuddles his kittens, murmuring how mean everybody was to suspect them as the plot resumes where it was before Unknown posted*

[Hareoic]

YOUR EVIL kittens?

They are MY NOT-EVIL KITTENS!

*tackles kovu and pounds him with his fists*

[RockyR]

Rather than erase everything else that happened in the fine additions from Kovu and mr. Unknown Rabbit let's make a second cut of a few events.

---
As kovu's shot rockets past GenEX as well as removing his pet kittens the force of it also evicts Ryu's evil spirit from his soul, making him whatever he was before.

The cats then are evil in later parts because they aren't neutered? Sure, why not. Admael noticies this and rather than do the operation performs a mind altering spell and they are no longer grumpy, evil, and that sort, which I suppose they were only after they grew up.
---


Wilds confusing to figure out what you meant when you mentioned kittens when you meant us to see supreme dragon ruler. ^_^''


(Rocky)
Mmm, stuff is good.

[Violet CLM]

Slayer peeked out from underneath the back pack intheback stack. Batty Buddy was driving the car now, and both Ducky and the awful music were gone. Rocky was singing "Sequoia, Sequoia, give me your answer do" off key in the back seat next to him. And the car, strangely enough, seemed to have grown wings and was flying at various altitudes in search of a place to have a picnic.

"Hey," said stripe, taking a break from mourning the site the War Tavern had been at, "what happened to Speedy and those other rabbits who were under the 'Tavern when it landed?"
"Well, considering they were under the 'Tavern when it landed, I presume they got crushed." said Beauman wisely, trying to figure out the most they could get for the 3,000 Cr. He had figured out they might be able to get almost half of the necessary floorboards, but that was about it.
"Or maybe the stupid otters took them away, thinking they were scrap." grumbled Ducky, still furious over the loss of the professionally made and finished Cherry Table of Duckyness.
"Or maybe Divine Intervention was involved!" cried Bart, who was working frantically to create an automatic zipper.

"Hey... where are you going?" said the tremulous Tour Guide tremulously, as Kovu ran off in charge of a pike and an army. Apparently, the Cats had all ran away to Admael, who had made them NiCe CaTs, instead of eViL, but their spell was still on Kovu.
"I just, Mwahahaha, told you, I'm, Mwahahaha, going to take, Mwahahaha, over the world! MWAHAHAHA!" cried Kovu. His army passed the message on to the Tour Guide, who looked mournful that he would have to be alone alone once more. But maybe he could find an outlet mall.

"Hey.. where are we? Are we dead? I don't feel dead.. my nose itches!" said Speedy.
"Lucky you." grumbled another rabbit, who didn't have a nose.
"I think," said Tyf, who had been one of the rabbits to dive for cover in the crater, "that we're in a pile of the remains of the War Tavern, which exploded from going through the atmosphere at a high velocity, and then Beauman sold all of it, including the Cherry Table, to some Speedy Scrap Otters for 3,000 Cr."
"How do you know all that?" asked a fourth rabbit, the one with an irish accent.
"No idea."
They all laid around in the pile of scrap for a while, until Speedy stuck his head out and noticed the pile was on a conveyor belt, and heading towards a cremater.
"Hey, rabbits, it might be a good idea, to like, you know, get out right now? You know?"
So they got out, Tyf kindly retrieving the Cherry Table with her, just before what was left of the War Tavern burned up in a glorious fireworks display.

[Hareoic]

"Ugh, what the heck just happened?" questioned GenEX. "You were possesed by some guy named Ryu." answered Kovu. "Thanks to my rockets, that guy is gone for go-" he was cut off when GenEX kicked him in the stoumac. Kovu bent over in agony and passed out. "Darn you, Kovu. I'll never forgive you for defeating MY arch rival. Alas, I do not wish to kill you, so I will leave you here until you are consious again." With that, he left, Kovu snoring loudly.

"I think the tavern should be around here somewhere, yes right over- there?" GenEX was looking at the spot where the the War Tavern ship should have been. He saw a burning wreckage of the tavern instead. He was very peeved that somebody blew it up when he had rebuilt it. Using his psychic powers, he took the charred remains of the taverns and, in a flash of bright light, the tavern was rebuilt. Going to his private chamber, he scanned the planet for his kittens, completely forgetting about the other taverners. As long as the auto-pilot was engaged, GenEX took out his GameBoy Color and began playing

[Kovu aka Alec]

*Pulls out sword and aims it at self*
Hmm, oh, gah, it's not worth it*puts sword away, and sighs*
GEN! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I mean, rebuilding the Tavern with psycho-magic powerness, we actually almost had a plot! And besides, I would've skewered you with my Evil Piketm before you kicked me in the stomach.

[Violet CLM]

Not to mention, not one iota of your post fit in with the continuity.

[Hareoic]

Once Gen rounded up all his kittens, he brought the ship out of the planet's atmosphere and zoomed off. "What was that?" questioned Beauman, only to figure out immidietly that was everybody else's way off this planet. He made a mental note to strangle GenEX the instant he found him.

"Bwahahahahahahaha! My name is Ryu, and this sad excuse for a body is merely a temporary body for me!" Kovu-well, Ryu in Kovu's body-said. "Now, my legions of eeeeeeevil, we shall hunt down that fool Exterminator and destroy him once and for all! MARCH!" Kovu/Ryu led his army of purple mushrooms with high pitched voices away from the tour guide person, who was reading a book. When they left, she saw the opportunity to take a relaxing bath in the conviently placed hot springs.

"Yay, we get the entire tavern all to ourselves!" GenEX shouted to his kittens."Do you know what this means? We get to throw out all the beverages aside from soda pop!" GenEX rushed to the cellar and used his element projectiles to make rocks shoot from his hands. The kittens set it up as a shooting gallery, so GenEX began bragging every time he made a hit, which was often.
__________________________________________________ __

Instead of killing the plot, I made 4 new ones:

1. How can we unposses Kovu?

2. Can everybody get back to the tavern alive?

3. How long will the drinks last when GenEX is getting rid of them?

4. How much longer will Gen's GameBoy Color's batteries last?:+

You decide!

[Violet CLM]

I'm still saying what you're posting doesn't fit in with the continuity, and I would appreciate it if you could read the plot before posting.

[Ducky]

Right.

*modness ON*

Gen:
This is not your story.. This is a story about the Taverners and their adventures, NOT you mightily defeating someone from your past. That's not to say we can't incorporate him as some bad guy, but is to say we're not focussing on you displaying your god-powers and doing everything. When you fix everything with your magic in one sentence, that's the same as destroying a plot.
Two words: Team work.

*unmodness*

I hate being a mod.

*huggies to Tyf for saving the table*

[Violet CLM]

"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, we love you!" chanted Rocky. Slayer buried further under the pile of packs, and Batty Buddy attempted to remain as his usual level of sanity while driving the obviously sanity depleting car. It was very hard.
"Slayer, could you please come over here and take over? I'm fighting a losing battle here."
Slayer whimpered, and continued his imitation of a mole.
"Bleh.. hey, maybe my Backpack can help.. Slayer, is my Backpack in there?"
Slayer rooted around a bit, and managed to locate it. Handing it to the driver, he hid back under the mound again.

"Hey," said Ducky, having partly recovered, "why do we need to Buy a new War Tavern, anyway? It's been wrecked before, and we've repaired it!"
"Like the time we got out of Gen's mind, and Slayer drew it with a magic pencil." said Fire Sword, thoughtfully.
"Or when a buncha people went off on a quest to find some stones!" said Beauman.
"We might not even have to do.. the door and roof and chandeleir and stuff are always repairing themselves without notice." mused stripe. This was the first time he had been around for ages, so they didn't know how he knew this, but he did all the same.
"But the Quest for the Stones took a while, and it didn't repair itself then. I say we go on another quest!" cried someone energetically.

Kovu, having reassembled his eViL wHaTeVeR from the time he had teamed up with Teh Evil Comb, looked in a viewing monitor with displeasure.
"Bleh.. if they reassemble the War Tavern, they will be strong of heart, and my attempt to take over The World! shall be null of void. I must hinder them with all my mighty might!"
One of the generals of his army(tm) looked up from the floor, where he had been genuflecting. "Do you want me to lead a squad to kill them all, your Kovuness?"
"No... not plot advancing enough. Instead, make their quest as difficult as possible. And make them draw "Go directly to Jail. Do not pass the required tools. Do not collect materials" as many times as possible."
"But won't they just triumph over those seemingly invincible odds, in the spirit of everyone on the side of Righteousness, and end up rebuilding the War Tavern and defeating us?"
"Eventually, maybe, but just killing them doesn't do much for the plot."

[RockyR]

Uh oh, do I have to write real plot now?
Well then I will I suppose.

---

-Well what are we supposed to get this time??- motioned f quist.
A question similar was in the minds of most of them, but not those in the car, who had their minds on things of much less importance.

-Maybe let's go to Home Depot. Lest we maybe could go to Home Depot?- shouted Bart. A simple idea from an interesting head. It sounded good and cost-effective. Possibly staff from Home Depot would even assemble the Tavern for them. Such a conventional solution so where was the difficulty?
Then it started to hit them.
-Dude, what's a home depot?- entered Dino. Evil Mike didn't know. -Wouldn't you buy a house there, or maybe it has trains.- he speculated. -If we lived there, would we be home when we got there, or what?- wondered Syntax. No one knew where it was either.

As Bart heard the cloud of mess and confusion he rolled down the opening to his mouth. -Oh it's um not on this circle guys. It's at the earth.- he informed. It was a good clean-cut silence. There's a problem, it was rather long distance travel to get to a home depot. But it didn't matter, without a war tavern all they could do is get a new one so they wouldn't have to.
-Wow, the intergalactic quest is healthy fun and good plot,- encouraged Derby. -So no matter if it would take some light years to get there and back.-
That was a long time but helpful plot nonetheless. This would take some careful planning if nothing else.

Of course Kovu's angry eyes hovered over them just the same. he knew what they were up to.
His grasp on the Evil Piketm grew stronger and sweatier as he prepared the plans for his army to make it a greasy, difficult trip for them.

(Rocky)
Stuff is good.

[Violet CLM]

Just one little word of caution, it does help to reaffirm where characters are (for example, Batty Buddy couldn't have really been talking to them, as he was driving the car on some other planet. And Fquist was still a hideous monster.). But if we pretend someone else said that stuff, like Derby, who seems to like the idea, everything is all hunky dory and stuff.

[JJ BBoy KS]

Man, I'm so un-caught-up on this story. Last I read was when they left the war tavern in a rocket and took off to that planet. I think that was like...page 14 or something. I don't remember.

[Hareoic]

No, Fquist is still in the War Tavern ship, and that thing has been repaired and is flying through space with me n' my kittens.
___________________

"STOP THIS CAR!" screamed Rocky. The vehicle stopped with a loud THUMP, who got paid a nickel for appearing. "What is it, Rocky?" questioned SlaYer, who was feeling a slight vertigo sickness. "Alright, I knew my eyes didn't decieve me!" Rocky said with joy. "What is it?" asked SlaYer and Batty at the same time. "I found a nickel," he said, holding it up with a grin on his face, "What are the odds of-" before he finished, Batty Buddy pulled a rope out of his bag and tied up Rocky, put a gag in his mouth, and tossed him into a nearby ditch. Then he got back in the car and drove off.

"I got an idea!" shouted Beauman. "I think I know how to get the tavern back!" Ducky questioned how he would do that. "I'll do something if you all give me 1000$." Reluctantly everybody did so, Beauman had a $.$ look on his face. "Okay, we gave you our money, now what?" asked FireSword. Beauman grinned and said, "I'm going to... run!" he took off with the money, the others chasing after him. Ducky threatened no more drinks ever if he didn't give the money back, but he just ran faster.

_____________________________________________

That's all for now, people.

[JJ BBoy KS]

Wow, you've got a long signiture. And this:

<B>"I seem to be the very personafication of the rage to live- hit me, dunk me, insult me, I'll still hang in there.

-I wonder why."

-Howard the Duck</B>

Was originally in Batty Buddy's signiture! You stole it you thief!!!

(j/k) ;) :p

[Violet CLM]

"No, Fquist is still in the War Tavern ship, and that thing has been repaired and is flying through space with me n' my kittens."

is about as wrong as it comes. All of your events leading up to that (pitifully few) were out of continuity.

[RockyR]

Uhoh, I missed where the car ended up being on another planet.
Last I remembered it was out on Carrotus. But I fixed the characters who were out of the area so you don't have to think about it.

I don't want to mess up with the continuity while writing real plot though.. where exactly is everyone now and what state are they in? Anyone could help with that by writing a new addition that made this clear. . .or just writing a list. All I got from the first summation was two characters being the fquist monster and the smurf character. :confused: Nuts to me.

(Rocky)
Stuff is good. .

[Hareoic]

*hands rocky some nuts*

[Violet CLM]

The Current Plot Situation Using Only Things That Fit In With The Continuity As Valid Plot Advancers (TCPSUOTTFIWTCAVPA):

Tyf, Speedy, the Rabbit with an Irish accent and some other rabbits are in Speedy Scrap Co., which is run by otters. They just watched the War Tavern get cremated, except for the Cherry Table, which is in their posession.

Batty Buddy is driving a car that has the unique effect of turning anyone who drives it steadily more insane during the period they are driving it. He's looking in his backpack for a way to help. Rocky already sucumbed to this, and is singing nursery rhymes or something in the passenger seat. And Slayer is in the back seat, hiding under a mountain of backpacks belonging to various War Taverners.

GenEX has forgotten everything that happened after he first appeared, and is flying around in space in search of adventures ELSEWHERE. Not on Carrotus.

Kovu has been turned Evil by the Evil Cats, who Admael later fixed so they were good, but neglected to also fix Kovu. He has control of some cool evil thing, and owns an evil armytm and an evil piketm, and is planning to make anything the 'Taverners do to get a new 'Tavern much harder then it would normally be.

In a castle on top of a hill near where the War Tavern was before it was demolished, FrankenQuist's monster (formerly Fquist, and posessing the brain of a Dutch Pastry Cook) and Vampyra Smurferama the Vampire Smurf are biding their time or something.

Beauman is being chased by Ducky, BBoy, DDay, Fire Sword, stripe, Admael, the Good Cats, Bart, Derby and everyone else who wasn't mentioned elsewhere, because he took their money for nothing. Most unlike him. And Derby is trying to encourage everyone to go on a quest to Earth, to buy materials for a new War Tavern.

[Ducky]

"Yes! That's it!" I yelled, and gave Derby a kiss before rushing off.


...I know I left a shuttle around here somewhere.



I think we should go to earth ;|

[Hareoic]

Geez, have you already forgotten? We're in an entirely different dimension! The only way to get to the dimension where the planet we all wish to go to is if I decide to use my ridiculously powerful psychic powers, go on a magical quest to find some components for a transporter(I'd build it), or we can't go at all. Trust me on this one, I should know...

[Violet CLM]

Except you shouldn't, because you forgot everything that happened to you in the entire topic, and so wouldn't know it's in an alternate dimension or anything on that order.
And, if we can change planets by walking along on an outing, I'm sure we can change dimensions by flying around on a quest.

[RockyR]

I was under the impression Carrotus was in another galaxy, not a separate dimension...and whereever they are now would still be a separate galaxy.
They can fly there to the earth and junk, just it will take a rather... long time especially with kovu watching their moves.

(Rocky)
Rolls: Authorities suggest that you eat them.

[JJ BBoy KS]

Originally posted by Ducky
"Yes! That's it!" I yelled, and gave Derby a kiss before rushing off.

:eek:

Oh gee, that lucky Derby! :lol:

[JJ BBoy KS]

Originally posted by Unknown Rabbit
Beauman is being chased by Ducky, <FONT COLOR="red">BBoy</FONT>, DDay, Fire Sword, stripe, Admael, the Good Cats, Bart, Derby and everyone else who wasn't mentioned elsewhere, because he took their money for nothing.

Holy Swiss Cheese! Am I in this story still!? I should probably catch up on it! (That'd take forever though...hmmm...maybe I'll just read the past couple pages, and this one. Then I'll have an idea of what's going on.)

[Hareoic]

Suddenly Gen's ship crash-landed on the planet everybody was on. He couldn't repair it because he didn't want to anyway.



Is that better?

[Violet CLM]

BBoy, yes, you're still in the story. Lots of people appear after one post, then stick around forever. (E.G. we got lots and loads of plot material from just one post of Freelance's)

Gen, you were flying through space without a spaceship, in a direction quite the reverse of towards Carrotus..

[Hareoic]

I thought I rebuilt the tavern...
Weird.

[Ducky]

Lol I hope that was sarcasm BBoy :)

So...have the wrinkles been worked out?


*is still confused* I thought Carrotus and Diamondus and the rest were all in another galaxy, too...and all you had to do was travel through <i>space</i>...

hm.


`Duckstar

[Hareoic]

Well, I guess not EXACTLY another dimension. Of course, we're still merely ink and paper creations. Otherwise, we're from a book, which seems most likely. Thus, the authors control our fates.

!

I guess if we want it could be possible...
*wonders if reality is really a cartoon*

[RockyR]

No, we decided to brush that part out of the story so they'd have something to do, you might have noticed that the majority; all of them actually, the posts have been about rebuiling the War Tavern. Quick changes with magic and psychics are good when you want like a new couch in the Tavern but that was a little self-defeating when everyone wanted a new plot.

(Rocky)
Jobs will be lost due to this.

[Violet CLM]

Whatever. Work off of this now;


"Hey!" cried Batty Buddy, withdrawing something from his backpack, "A set of Limited Edition Second Helping Overly Copyrighted Patent Taken Trademarked Extensively Multi-National Corporation Supported World Famous Best Selling Hat Bands!" So saying, he plopped the box on top of his head, which promptly opened up, to reveal a bunch of minature musicians playing rock and roll.
"Mary had a little lamb, a lobster and some prunes, a slice of cake, a piece of pie, and then some macaroons! It made the busy waiters grin, to see her order so, and when they caried Mary out, her face was white as snow!" cried Rocky. He had stolen a miscellaneous pack off of the top of Slayer's mound, and had found a microphone and conductor's stick thingie in it, and was not believing he was in charge of a #1 smash hit music group.
"Batty, could you please land this thing sometime soon?!" moaned Slayer, tunneling deeper (if that was possible) into the impossibly deep pile. The conflicting musics of Rocky's Nursery Rhymes and BB's Hat Band were giving him a major headache. "I want to get out!"
After some consolation on Slayer's part, BB steered the car down to the ground, where it made a rough landing with all possible grace and whatnot. Slayer quickly erupted out the back door, trailing backpacks, and made for some place where there wasn't any music. "Ah, a tennis match!" he cried hopefully, upon seeing one. But it was breaktime, and the players were strumming on their rackets like guitars. Slayer ran on.

"What's up with him?" asked Batty Buddy, looking at the receding figure.
"Goggly google gogg gidjit googoo!" explained Rocky perkily.

Vampyra Smurferama recovered at last, and ventured nearer towards the Dutch Pastry Cook's prone body.
"Mr. Dutch Pastry Cook, are you ok?"
A voice from behind made the smurf spin around. It was his voice, but it was coming from the Frankenquist's Monster. "What have I told you about calling me Mr. Dutch Pastry Cook?"
"You told me 'That's Mr. Dutch Pastry Cook Sir! to you.'.... but you're in the body of the monster? What happened? Didn't the chemicals work?"
"They worked fine. But some fool transported in, stole the test subject, and transferred my mind to the mind of this monster. I really wonder why we didn't think of this in the first place.. I'm so powerful!"

Kovu, in his Evil Master Control Console, quickly pressed the "Playback" switch. He musingly watched the events of what had happened in the castle. Yes.. he recalled those two, wreaking havoc in the War Tavern. And now the larger one had a mind...
"General Genuflecter! Bring me my Private Line Phonechamacallit!"
"Sir! Yes sir!" saluted the Genuflecting General, and quickly returned with the Private Line Phonechamacallit. Cackling a bit, with interluding "Mwahaha!"s, Kovu dialed the number his multiversalphone book listed for the castle.

The phone rung. Vampyra Smurferama looked up from the scale, which the Dutch Pastry Cook In FrankenQuist's Monster Form (DPCIFQMF) had been bench pressing, and removed her Anti-Radioactivity goggles. Walking over to the wall, lab coat billowing moderately, the Smurf climbed onto a stepladder in order to reach the phone.
"Hello, dis is Vampyra Smurferama, evildoer extrordinvare, vho is this?"
"I'm Kovu, malicious mastermind, and posessor of an evil piketm. I have been studying your movements for the past few minutes, and have a proposition to make."
"Vun moment please."
Vampyra dismounted from the ladder, and walked back over to DPCIFQMF, who was ripping apart iron bars. "It's some evil mastermind. You're better at dealing with them."
Grunting, DPCIFQMF walked to the phone.
"Hello, this is I. I understand you have a proposition to make."
"Yes. I feel we both are on the same mission, to exterminate good in this world, and I offer you the chance to join me as I take it over. But first we must prevent the War Taverners from rebuilding their building."

A few minutes later, Kovu put the phone back down on the hook.
"It is done. The Vampire and the Monster have agreed to help the offense of generally everything."
The Official Evil Accountant For Kovu's Evil Armytm walked up to Kovu's side, adding 2 to the number he had on a sheet of paper.
"Your Kovuness, I regret to inform you that in order to complete conquestation, we still require one more on our side. Otherwise, their numbers are very slightly too great."
"Curses, Mwahahaha!" said Kovu. "Where ever are we going to get another canidate?"
The door burst open, and Slayer ran in. He had just escaped from Disneyland, which was precisely the place he Hadn't wanted to be in, and was still trying to get "It's a Small World" out of his ears by running insistantly.
"Ah, Slayer!" said Kovu, without missing a beat. "How would you like to get revenge on all the 'Taverners for never paying their bills..."

ANTE-TUBBES, grumbling, called it quits for that day. If only Ancoysnd hadn't taken that sack of grenades.. At least he hadn't gotten far before he realized the problem, so he couldn't have killed off Too many potential customers. And Happy Puppy Pickle Co. sales were moderately up again, so it must have just been a fluke in the normal advertising. Oh well.
Waving at the bellboy, who stood at the door welcoming employees every day, and wishing them farewell every night, ANTE-TUBBES walked out into the night, and to next door, a company he was also in charge of. Along with Opposition Publishing Co. Inc., he had a heavy workload.
"So, Billy Bob, what're the latest figures for Super Speedy Scrap Co.?"
"Well, we paid 3,000 Cr for the collected scrap of an entire building.. they threw some rabbits into the deal, too, so we paid a little extra."
"Fascinating.. where are these rabbits?"
"Well, the sorting machine somehow didn't pick them up, so they were headed for the Cremater until they got out. Now they're wandering all over the factory, getting lost, talking to employees when they're trying to work, and humming annoying songs."

"Ducky, wait! Where are you going?" cried BBoy, who was staring at Derby with an expression of what might have been jealousy.
"I'm sure I left a starcruiser laying around her somewhere!" she cried back, and bounced away. BBoy didn't really have a chance to respond, because at that point he was caught up by the main party chasing Beauman, and had little choice but to keep running, unless he wanted to be trampled.

Ducky continued frolicking around, looking for just about anything that flew. So far she had found a mockingbird, but when she asked if it could fly a bunch of rabbits into another galaxy, it just laughed in her face. "Twas Brillig, and the Slithy Toves-" she was beginning, when a big red car screeched to a halt in front of her. Two creatures got out. One was dancing like a maniac, and singing "The Complete Mother Goose" backwards in Dutch.
"ROCKYYYYYYY!" cried Ducky, squeezing the breath out of him.

[JJ BBoy KS]

<B>Well, I've read a bit, and I hopefully know what's going on.........sort of.</B> :)

<FONT FACE="Comic Sans MS">
The door burst open. Kovu turned and saw Beauman run into the room with wads of money in his hands. "Here!" Beauman said, and outstretched his arm. "I'll give you all this money if you stop trying to prevent us from building the War Tavern, and help us build it instead." Kovu looked at the money and thought a moment, then he said, "Hmmm....Great!" And he snatched the money. Then he handed it back to Beauman and said, "I'll give you all this money to join me in stopping the taverners from building the tavern." Beauman looked at all the money. It was a lot, but he couldn't turn traiter to his friends. "No." He replied. "Well, then I don't want your stupid money, and I'm going to continue to try and prevent you from building. Hmwahahaha!" Kovu threw the money back at Beauman. "Then give some to me! Part of that is MY money!" Slayer yelled as he grabbed up $1,000.00. "Slayer???" Beauman looked at him, "What are you doing here?" "Uhh...." Slayer stammered, "I-I..." "He's on my side now!" Kovu interrupted with an evil glare on his face. "WHAT!?" Beauman exclaimed, "What's this all about, Slayer!?" But before Slayer could answer, Kovu pushed Beauman out the door. "Get out! This is none of your buisness!" And he slammed the door and locked it. "Wait!" Slayer said, "I-I'm kinda getting some second thoughts about this whole thing..." "Too late!" Kovu said. "Come on!" Slayer followed Kovu down a hall.

"Where could he've gone?" DDay said. "No clue. It's as if he just dissappeared." said Fire Sword. "There he is!" Derby pointed. The group looked and saw Beauman walking towards them. "GET HIM!" BBoy yelled, and the group charged. "Wait, guys!" Beauman said just before he was tackled by the entire group. They were covered in a cloud of dust, trying to get at their money. Finally Beauman managed to get out of the wrestling pile and he said, "Guys! You can have your money! My idea didn't work...but that's not important! Slayer has joined with Kovu!" The group stopped and looked up at Beauman. "What'd you say?" Admael said. "I said, 'Slayer has joined with Kovu!'" "Why would he do that?" BBoy asked. "I don't know." The group got up and counted their money while confused about Slayer.</FONT>

[JJ BBoy KS]

Originally posted by Ducky
Lol I hope that was sarcasm BBoy :)

`Duckstar

What? This???



Originally posted by JJ BBoy KS
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by Ducky
"Yes! That's it!" I yelled, and gave Derby a kiss before rushing off.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



Oh gee, that lucky Derby!


:D Yep it was. :D

[Violet CLM]

"...I'm lost." said Speedy. He had been leading the others through the factory for quite some time now, having found a jet powered cart to afix the Cherry Table to.
"What? You said you knew this place like the back of your hand!" said one of rabbits within earshot.
"That would be because I have paws." muttered Speedy, looking for a map.
"Hey," said Tyf suddenly, "are you muttering, looking for a map?"
"Why, yes!" said Speedy, turning around. "Did you find one?"
"Yesh." said Tyf, pointing to a large map attached to the wall. It had a little "You are Here" text in one spot, which one of the rabbits noticed.
"We're there? I think we're here, really."
Speedy, curiously, leaned closer to the map, trying to see if they were indeed there.

Rocky choked for air. Had his last hour come, at the hands of this.. friend?
"Ducky?" he rasped, trying to gasp instead.
"Rocky!" she cried again, letting him go. "Where have you Been? I was so worried.. me leaving you alone in the car like that, Anything could have happened!" Bouncing happily, Ducky focused her attention on Batty. "Where's Slay?"
"He left a while back." said Batty Buddy, trying to fit his Hat Band back in the package where it belonged. "Rock thinks he was attacked psychically by a mad baby."
Rocky nodded wisely, still breathing in large quanities of air. Apparently, being almost choked had restored his sanity, so he could hold a normal conversaton at the best of times.
Ducky, not noticing, frolicked about. "He'll turn up! Come on, let's get home.. wait, it was destroyed! Do either of you have cab fare?"
Batty Buddy looked inquiringly at Rocky, who emptied his pockets. After concluding that a rolled up paper airplane and a "Plausibly Accurate Identification of Heavily Standard Vegetation and other Foligage (Taking into Account the Vast Quanities of Miniscule Varieties of Greengrowth) in the Scientifically Correct Southren Hemisphere of Carrotus Proper Prepared for the Overall Enjoyment and Utilization of Average Requirers of such Knowledge" book couldn't get them a cab ride, he turned to his backpack once more.

"One, two, three, sing!" cried Speedy.
"99 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 99 BOTTLES OF BEER! TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 98 BOTTLES OF BEER!" they sang out. After determinging that the map had said they were there in a vastly figurative sense, they had been able to figure out that the nearest exit lead Due North, then Left. But they didn't quite know what direction was North, as none were eqipped with a compass, so they continued to walk around randomly.
"98 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 98 BOTTLES OF BEER! TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROOUND, 97 BOTTLES OF BEER!"
"Hey, what's that?" asked Tyf, pointing towards a large Plasma Oriented Superstring Theory Normalizing Ordinarily Baffling Invariably Longitude/Lattitude Screen (Or P.O.S.T.N.O.B.I.L.L.S. for short) sitting in the corner.
"Don't touch ANYTHING," warned Speedy, withdrawing her eager paw. "just sing. 95 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL-"
"It looks like a Plasma Oriented Superstring Theory Normalizing Ordinarily Baffling Invariably Longitude/Lattitude Screen!" said the rabbit with no nose, who knew about such things. "They tell you your exact location, along with how to get out of it!"
"Whoopie." said the irish rabbit.
Speedy quickly ran over to it, and pressed the button, still singing "93 BOTTLES OF BEER ON THE WALL, 93 BOTTLES OF BEER, TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND, 92 BOTTLES OF BEER!" loudly.
You are in Sector 4 of Squadrant 6 of the Alpha Quarter in Universe 3.2. To get out of your current location, take a few steps to the left. read the screen.
"Oh, Ha Ha. Very funny." said Speedy.
"Let's try it!" said the noseless one, so they all took a few steps to the left.
Then they were falling.

"Any further progress report on those rabbits?" asked ANTE-TUBBES.
"Yes, sir. They came across the P.O.S.T.N.O.B.I.L.L.S., and activated it. It told them to take a few steps to the left, so they did. They are currently on Earth, having fallen a considerable distance."
"Well, at least they won't trouble us further.." grumbled ANTE-TUBBES, shifting through a stack of papers. "Where's the sales chart?"

"Would you be willing to take us to wherever on this world our friends are for a brick with gold paint on it?" asked Ducky of the cab driver.
"Ducky!" cried Batty Buddy, angry, "I told you to tell him it was a Gold Brick!"
"But it's not!" she shot back. But the cab had driven away, the driver disgusted.
"Well, great, now how are we going to join them? asked Rocky, looking around for a means of transportation.
"If you sit on a weed long enough, would it grow over there, do you think?" asked BB perplexidely, examining one.
"Not unless it's a beanstalk." sighed Ducky.
"Hey, there! Want a lift?" cried a voice. The three of them looked up into the friendly face of..

"Can't we stop and take a break yet?" complained Slayer. They had been walking for this hall for hours, and still hadn't reached any destination. Worse yet, he kept seeing the same things on the walls over and over, in the same order.
"No need, we're (Mwahahaha) almost there!" cried Kovu.
"You said that an hour ago."
"Did, Mwahahaha, I?"
"Yes, you did."
"Oh."
They continued walking along the hallway, the same bizarre wall motifs greeting them in the same order several times.
"Where are we going, anyway?"
"To, Mwahaha, review the Army!"
"And you're sure this is the right way?"
"Mwahaha.. no."
"Oh."
They walked on some more. There wasn't any new decor.
"Kovu?"
"Yes?"
"I think we're going in a circle."
"What? But that can't, Mwahaha, be right!"
"But it is."
"You think so?"
"Yes."
"Oh."
They kept walking.
"Can we take a rest yet?"
"We're almost there!"
"You said that an hour ago."
"Oh."
"And the hour before."
They walked more.
"Do you know where we are?"
"I've got a map of this hallway.."
"Where?"
"Here." said Kovu, handing Slayer the map. It was a white paper with a badly drawn black circle on it.
"Kovu?"
"Yes?"
"Where did we come in?"
"I'm not sure.."
"Oh."
"Yeah."

"Clockwork!" cried Ducky happily.
"Who?" asked Rocky, who hadn't met the fox before.
"He was one of four gun toting foxes who shot the place up then went off on a quest! Except he was nice, and made pleasant conversation, and wasn't a health hazard." said Ducky, with hand motions to illustrate her words.
"Yes.. I'm sorry about the actions of my friends." said Clockwork, getting out of the Limo he had driven up in.
"What are you doing here?" said Batty, cautiously.
"Well, you see, after we went on that quest, I got kind of lost. After a while, I found myself in a town, where I got a job as an Accountant."
Rocky looked at the fox with an interested air, trying to picture him as an accountant.
"For quite a while, it was a fine job, but then the company was closed down. So I drifted around a bit, until I saw a picture in the paper of a fox who looked just like me, and was a millionare. After some odd stuff I won't mention for no reason, the real millionare decided to stay at home, and I would masquerade as him. But then he got sick and died. So I took the money that was now mine, and decided to have a life of helping others with it. And then I heard you needed to get somewhere."

"But if there's nothing but this big circle, how do you expect to get to the army?" asked Slayer, looking carefully on the map for any trace of a door or something.
"Well, there's a secret door somewhere on the righthand wall."
"Well, we've passed it countless times, why didn't you open it?"
"I forgot where it was."
"Oh."
They walked along the hallway for some more time, Slayer looking for what might be a doorknob, and Kovu acting really placid.
"So is it possible to find it again?"
"Yes. For just such occasions, I drew an outline around it."
"Doesn't that defeat the purpose?"
"I drew it in invisible ink."
"Do you have any matches with you?"
"Yes, for just this problem."
"Well, why don't you use them to locate the outline?"
"There's only one left, so I only want to use it at the right spot, to prevent mistakes."
"And you only know if you're at the right spot by seeing the outline, which requires a match."
"Yep."
"Oh."
They walked on.

[JJ BBoy KS]

:lol: Sounds like they'll be in that circle a while.

[Violet CLM]

"Yes, we DiD!" said Ducky, happily, before the rest could speak. Of course, when they did, it was to agree, so it didn't really matter.
And so they all drove off in the flashy Limo, leaving the cool red car with the sanity depriving steering wheel to sit alone in the forest, in hopes it might one day turn wild and save a couple of wizard students from some gigantic spiders. One never knew.

"So, where did you say you were going?" asked Clockwork, rounding a 180 degree turn.
"Well, we're not totally sure where they are, but we're looking for the main party of Taverners." said Ducky, looking out the windows for any sign of them.
"As opposed to the not so main party?"
"Oh, yes. Sub plots, you know." said Rocky wisely:

Speedy, getting to be the first word of the pharagraph because he's the group leader, looked around. They didn't seem to be on Carrotus anymore. They were in a big ol' busy city, with big cars driving about, some of them stationary and yelling at eachother. A roustabout was thrown out of a nearby window onto the street, and only barely got off the road in time.
"Nice place." said the noseless rabbit.
"What do you mean, Nice place? It's a human hive of scum and villainy!" cried a street preacher, running up. "The prediction of Ragnorak, come to pass! Yay, all shall die, and the survivors shall get belly aches! Fire and Rocks will sweep the sky, and floods shall carry away whatever is not destroyed by Godzilla! Fear, all ye unknowing fools, for the end has come upon you!"
"Get away from me." said Speedy nervously, pushing the preacher a little. The man lost his balance, and fell into the gutter, still screaming about devils and rattlesnakes eating the children. A car drove by, and splashed the group with muddy water as it rounded a turn.
"I've seen nicer." said the Irish rabbit to the one with no nose, huddling up to whoever would allow him to huddle up to them.
"Let's go in there." suggested Tyf, viewing a billboard with great distaste. So they walked up to the door, and pushed at it, not bothering to read the sign above the door:
"Pull".

"Well, there they are!" said Clockwork. Batty excitedly rolled down his window and looked out, and sure enough, there was a mass of rabbit bodies counting money dead ahead.
"Ahhh!! TURN LEFT!" cried Ducky.
Fortunately, her warning was unnecessary, as Clockwork yanked the steering wheel, and the car made a stunning 90 degree right angle turn.
"One thing I've always wondered," said Rocky, as the car stopped, "what's a left angle?"
"A dead end." said Batty Buddy, after checking a dictionary he had written himself.
"All out!" cried their driver, so they exited the car, Ducky enthusiastically shaking Clockwork's paw.
"Oh, er, any time." he managed, then drove off, with a smoke screen marking the spot where he had started.
"And this is your idea of a starcruiser?" asked BBoy, driely.

And Kovu and Slayer continued walking around in a circle, sometimes taking turns carrying eachother, sometimes both carrying the other one at the same time. And they still didn't find anything that suggested the whereabouts of the secret door.


Now POST.

[JJ BBoy KS]

:lol: :lol:

[Hareoic]

"Kovu, WHY are we doing this?" questioned SlaYer. "Not Kovu!I told you to call me Ryu! Because they give hope to the universe! And GenEX, oooohh how I have longed for my revenge on him! He defeated me even when he was a mere infant!" Kovu/Ryu yelled. "Your lacking loyalty gives me no choice but to give you the Mark of Obediance!" suddenly Ryu glared at SlaYer. SlaYer screamed in agony before a swordshape was burned into his forhead. "Yes, lord Ryu. I await your next order."
"Perfect..."

[Violet CLM]

Nonono, we decided that the CATS had made Kovu evil, because in the speed of growing up at the light speed, they decided they needed to be neutered. So they posessed Kovu, but then Admael fixed them, and they were good cats. But she didn't fix Kovu, so he's still in charge of an army big enough (according to his accountant) to take over the world, as long as the 'Taverners are out of the way.

[Ducky]

*snort*

*cough*

[Hareoic]

Originally posted by Unknown Rabbit
Nonono, we decided that the CATS had made Kovu evil, because in the speed of growing up at the light speed, they decided they needed to be neutered. So they posessed Kovu, but then Admael fixed them, and they were good cats. But she didn't fix Kovu, so he's still in charge of an army big enough (according to his accountant) to take over the world, as long as the 'Taverners are out of the way.

No, not my kitties! They are not evil!
...
Maybe Ryu possed one of them and its evil influence spread to the other ones. Neato dorito!

[Violet CLM]

The elderly humanoid behind the counter looked up as they came in, and readjusted the glasses perched atop his hooked.. beak. He wore a large satin dressing gown, which was decorated with various stars and planets, and his nose was powdered.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
"I don't really know." said Speedy, inclining his head in recognition. "First of all, what year is this?"
"4045, of course." said he.
A rabbit groaned. How was it that every time they fell to earth, it was 4045?
"You see," said Speedy, "we come from another world, in another time." He halted; how much to tell? But surely there could be no harm in this.. mutant? Half-breed? "More specifically, we come from the fabled War Tavern. It was destroyed, and we were taken away in a truck to a factory, wherein we avoided death. There, we found a P.O.S.T.N.O.B.I.L.L.S., which directed us to take a few steps to the left. A few seconds later, we found ourselves in front of your building, here."
"Divine intervention, indeed." muttered the creature, rising. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am TDJPSO (The Director of Jurassic Park Something or Other, in case you've forgotten) #2. I replaced the old one after he was eaten by Isabelle Kettlesore, one of the dinosaurs of our movie. Nobody liked him anyway, so it's no big loss."

"We must be on quest!" said the rabbit with no nose, excitedly. "Tell us, what wouldst thou hast us do? What task preform?"
"Actually," said TDJPSO v2, "everything's perfectly fine. No hitches whatsoever. But is there anything I can do to help you?"
"I'd like to go home.. where there's no place like, you know." said the Irish rabbit.
"Naturally! The spaceships are all in Docking Bay 94... turn left when you leave the building, go on until 31st Street, turn right, and then straight on 'til morning... errr, until you reach the spaceships. Tell whoever's in charge that I sent you. But would you like some refreshments before you go?"
"I'd like a carrot cake.." said the noseless one, musingly.
"I don't really have any." said TDJPSO v2.
"THEN BEER!" shouted Tyf, jarring Speedy out of his reverie.

An hour or so later, having partaken of what to Tavernerns is as what Nectar and Ambrosia is to the Greek Gods, the five rabbits left the building, still lugging the Cherry Table with them.
"Nice fellow, wasn't he?" asked the rabbit with no distinguishing characteristics, once they were out of earshot.
"Yes...." said Speedy, musingly. "But the beak kind of threw me off."
They discussed what the beak might mean, with theories ranging from avian ancestory to godly ancestory, while walking along, looking for 31st Street. After a while they found it, but with some difficulty, as it was buried in six inches of mail addressed to "Santa Claus". The group decided not to ask, and just turned right.
Soon, they had reached Docking Bay 94. It was situated next to a large building with a sign reading "Mos Eisley Cantina" in some font or another. It looked like a most wretched hive of scum and villainy, so they instantly wanted to check it out, but Tyf reminded them they wanted to get back to Carrotus without mishaps, so they steered clear, and entered the docking bay, which was oddly enough without guard.
"Now... where's a suitable spaceship?" asked the noseless rabbit. He was the most technically wisened of them all, so in this they trusted to his judgement.
After several minutes of fruitless search, he turned up with the solution the rest had concluded within a few seconds of their arrival -- that there was but the one spaceship in the docking bay. It was round, with some weird stuff on the top, and the cockpit wasn't even in the middle of the front.
"What a piece of junk!" said Speedy.

However, they put their misgivings aside, and boarded the spaceship. Its pilot - a man named Han Soda - would not fly them to Carrotus - in 2002 - for nothing, however, so they agreed to pay him for it once they were restored to their home planet, where they might well be able to scrape up some money.
Along with Soda, the 'ship was copiloted by a large furry creature called "Gurgi", who eagerly agreed to assist in what he called "Trippings and Shippings".
However, the good luck, as it could be called, did not last long. Before they had gotten very far off the planet, nine black warships blocked their path.
"What are those?" asked the rabbit without a description.
"Nostrils. They know I have the ring."
A silence.
"I also have the ruby slippers."
Another silence.
"And the Force."
Silence repeated itself.
"And the golden crown that calleth unto me the power of the winged monkeys."
You get the idea.
"And the magic beans that grow a beanstalk even to the clouds."
Silence stuff.
"Along with the missing one of the two glass slippers."
Nothing said.
"The meaning of life."
They stirred in brief interest.
"The Uberoldershticken."
No sound was heard.
"The 1.25 patch."
A pin dropped.
"A countdown mechanism that doesn't stop at 1."
Quiet maintained.
"Really spiffy gun stuff that could take any starship out easily."
This time, a reaction was gained.
"Well, why don't you USE it, then?" said one of the five rabbits, which is not known.
Soda blinked. "I beg your pardon?"
"If you've got this really spiffy gun stuff, why don't you use it on the Nostrils?"
He looked aghast. "I never thought of that!"
The rabbit with no nose sighed. It was going to be a long trip....

[Ducky]

Soda was looked at with interest by Tyf.
"Can I see the golden crown?" she asked musingly. To control a flock of flying monkeys was something the most powerful weird battle for. But,
"Sorry, princess, but only one person gives those monkeys orders. Me." he said, and proceeded to aim his really spiffy gun at the flying black warship Nostrils.

Ducky crouched in the tiny baggage compartment with a small blue furby she had found wedged between a loose steel panel and what seemed to be a robotic paw, which lay idley against the wall.
She shook the furby and its eyes flew open.
"Do you mind?" It enquired politely, righting itself. Unfazed, Ducky set it on the floor. "So sorry," she said, and fled to find Rocky and tell him that the ship's furby could say more then "Wheeee! Mooooore..." or "Ohhh! Nooot fuuuun."

The abovementioned Rocky was slouching in a bucket seat somewhere to the rear of the plane watching "Rock Star" on a small screen with someone he didn't know moping beside him. He raised an eyebrow as Ducky, jolted by the sudden lurch the shuttle made, flew past and into a small refrigerator. The really spiffy gun had fired at the Nostrils, and in hopes that the ring was still aboard, the ship had switched into lightspeed and was now heading towards a remote planet.

Up in the cockpit, Gurgi bounced and didn't rhyme. "Curses!" he said loudly to Soda. "That better not be Tattooine." He then went back to sliding a lever up to a red light which had at one point read "self destruct" but now was scribbled out in pencil and words reading "gunray activator channeling fluid" and mumbled something about "slidings and glidings" in a much more Gurgish manner.


hey man, where are you? Where's Unknownie?

`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

Originally posted by Ducky
Ducky crouched in the tiny baggage compartment with a small blue furby she had found wedged between a loose steel panel and what seemed to be a robotic paw, which lay idley against the wall.
She shook the furby and its eyes flew open.
"Do you mind?" It enquired politely, righting itself. Unfazed, Ducky set it on the floor. "So sorry," she said, and fled to find Rocky and tell him that the ship's furby could say more then "Wheeee! Mooooore..." or "Ohhh! Nooot fuuuun."

The abovementioned Rocky was slouching in a bucket seat somewhere to the rear of the plane watching "Rock Star" on a small screen with someone he didn't know moping beside him. He raised an eyebrow as Ducky, jolted by the sudden lurch the shuttle made, flew past and into a small refrigerator.

Actually, the abovementioned Rocky was with the main body of 'Taverners, as was Ducky. The actual contents of the ship, upon inspection, are;
Han Soda, Gurgi, Speedy, Tyf, the rabbit with an irish accent, the rabbit with no nose, and some other rabbit.

and in hopes that the ring was still aboard, the ship had switched into lightspeed and was now heading towards a remote planet.

For all continuative purposes, I don't quite understand this bit. Might I ask for clarification?


hey man, where are you? Where's Unknownie?


With the main body of 'Taverners, back on Carrotus.

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

Hmmmmmm... i'm tired from reading 5-7 pages in a row, but it was worth it i guess...
Eh? ROCKY POSTED? amazing... thought he was dead... well, i have re-re-re-found my way back here, nice to see ya all again...
*pops knuckles*
lez see if i can actually still write, heh...
*ponders a minute and re-reads the latest plot-line*
hmmmmmmmm... i might be able to work with this, yes... well, not really, but i can try to find out what the plot is :p
==============================================
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who was kinda bewildered and what not, about losing his betting money and various stuff happening, and people calling him beauman for the last 5-7 pages, suddenly pondered and got the thought of asking...

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Weren't we supposed to be on some quest to rebuild
the tavern or stop Kovu or something of the sorts?

Rocky: Ya, some stuff like that, but we're currently in some place with some Jurasic Park Director Person Stuff, so ya...

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Right....

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sat and twidled his fingers*
*Unknown did something Unknownish*
*Rocky reported Live and then Signed Off*
*Butterflys snuck up on Ducky and she jumped and hit her head on the baggage compartment*
*Hiru no Tsuki and other works by Arai Akino were playing in the backround*
*Shieguru Miyamoto created Zelda: TavernQuest*
*Plots were on the Frits*
*All the while BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ who everyone seems to call beauman sat wondering wat was happening*

[Violet CLM]

Waell....


Tyf, Speedy, the rabbit with no nose, the rabbit with an irish accent, and some other rabbit are in some starship described as looking like the Millenium Falcon, piloted by Han Soda and Gurgi the big furry creature, who likes to rhyme. The ship, after fighting off some Nostrils, is heading towards some remote planet, which might or might not be Tattooine. And Gurgi is moving a lever up to a red light which formerly read "Self Destruct" but now says something about gunray fluid.

Kovu and Slayer are in a large circular hallway, being the current villains. The only exit of the hallway is their destination, but it's a secret that can only be found with a match. And they only have one match, and if it gets used in the wrong place they won't have any. And they only know where the right place is by using a match there. Which requires a match.

Fquist has turned into Frankenquist's Monster, and he and Vampyra Smurferama are in some undefined location, being a part of the evil forces of Kovu. Only Frankenquist's Monster's brain has been taken over by the Dutch Pastry Cook, who's a lot smarter.

The former TDJPSO (The Director of Jurassic Park Something or Other), who was a grouch, has been eaten, and replaced by a humanoid mutant with a beak, who is quite kindly and helpful.

GenEX has forgotten everything that happened since he first appeared on Tubelectric (which resulted in everyone getting sent to jail, excluding Beauthing and Kovu), and has flown off using his Psychic Powers, in search of good things to do on other planets.

Everyone else in the current plot (excluding Clockwork, who drove away in a Limo) is on Carrotus. BBoy has asked Ducky if this ("this" being Rocky and Batty Buddy) is her idea of a starship, but other then that, we have no idea what they're talking about. And in the long term, they're planning to go to Earth and find a Home Depot, which they plan to use to rebuild the 'Tavern somehow.

I don't think I forgot anyone.

[Violet CLM]

Soda whipped around. "Gurgi! What are you doing?"
Gurgi stepped away from the lever, which he had almost managed to get up to the so called "Gunray Activator Channeling Fluid" thing, though not quite.
"Oh, honorable lord, Gurgi did not mean harm! He was just grooving and moving the lever up to help the fight! Oh, do not punish poor helpless Gurgi with smackings and whackings!"
"Gurgi....." said Soda, pointing at the space above the lever, "you were about to blow the ship up! See? "Self Destruct"."
"Oh, but that is crossed out with scribbles and quibbles! Now it does thing that helps in fightings and smitings!"
"No, Gurgi." said Soda, as paitently as possible. "It still Self Destructs the ship. Obviously, some enemy of ours has crossed that out and written Gunray Activator Channeling Fluid in hopes we would use it and blow ourselves up. Just don't touch that - oh (unrepeatable word)!, who's piloting the ship?!"
Han raced back to the cockpit, but it was already too late. The remote planet was looming up in front of the ship, getting larger and larger, and the ship could not preform a sharp enough turn to escape the collision.

Tyf, having struggled out of the refrigerator, walked haphazardly over to Speedy, who was still plopped in front of the viewing monitor. The ship's angle seemed to be acting like a boat on the ship, and it was getting difficult to keep ones' balance.
"Speedy! You'll never guess what the ship's Furby did!" Tyf began, but Speedy waved his hand and pointed at the monitor, which now was showing the view from a camera on the front of the ship. Evidently, they were heading for a planet.
"Why doesn't that pilot do something?" cried the rabbit with no nose, who had ran in. "We're all going to die horribly, like that street preacher said!"
"Not necessarily." said Speedy, once more taking command. "We seem to be going to hit the planet head on. In order to have minimal damage to ourselves, I suggest we all head towards the back of the ship."
"But is there time?" asked Tyf, biting a nail, like she had been taught to never do.
"Of course! When there's an incoming holocaust, time always slows down, so the heroes can get away from it in the rather meager time left to them!"
Unfortunately, this is only true in movies. There was a large jolt as the ship struck the planet, and most of the front fell off, burning stupendously.

Patrian Patrach, High Watermelon of the kingdom of Padoing, felt the ground quiver beneath his feet. Soon afterwards, a large explosion reached his abnormally large ears. Calling to a few armed guards, he went to investigate the disturbance.
It was not long before they learned the cause. A large, round thing was half buried in the planet surface. Some of it was on fire. A large square thing with many holes in it was laying nearby, singing "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do" with accompanying static. Until a large chunk of the round thing broke of, and smashed the singing box.
All around, smoke billowed. It was hard to see. But the keen eyes of Patrian and the guards could detect the movement near the middle, and as they turned their heads in that direction, two figures staggered forth from it. Three more followed, before the place from which they had emerged collapsed in on itself in a smouldering heap. The fire was seeming to engulf the fallen round thing now, and little was still untouched by the flames.
But Patrian had no eyes for the destruction of the fallen artifact, as the five figures were heading towards him and the guards, coughing.
The guards brought their weapons up, aiming at the figures, in case they proved hostile. Patrian advanced slowly towards them, arm outstretched in greeting. He knew not if the creatures knew this gesture, but it was worth a try. And one must be courteous to ones who might well be fallen gods.
The smoke cleared briefly, and Patrian Patrach was able to make out features on the five. Four of them, were furry creatures, with ears almost as long as those of Patrian and his comrades. He had heard tell of the Galactic Rabbits, and these looked much like the descriptions of them.
The fifth was harder to identify. It was large, and also furry, and seemed to have gotten a good deal of the wreckage stuck in its fur, adding to the disheveled appearance. It was quivering now, and staying as close to the ones who might be the Galactic Rabbits as possible.

The rabbit with no nose hid his face under his arms as steel and other parts of the ship rained down. The crash had been quite strong, and much had been jarred loose. The viewing monitor, obviously, had stopped working, and Tyf was looking at Speedy in a fashion that seemed to indicate she thought little of his earlier speech.
Their other comrades found their way into the small room, which was now rather packed.
"Where are the pilots?" asked the rabbit with the irish accent. It was true, they were nowhere to be seen.
"Spread out." said Speedy. "Look for either an exit, or the pilots. Anything else is currently little use, other then food, and we've got the refrigerator here."
They did so. The rabbit with no nose took a hallway which he remembered as leading to the cockpit. Halfway through, he found Gurgi hiding in a small crevice in the wall. Stepping over a pile of wreckage, the rabbit tapped Gurgi's shoulder.
"Where's Soda?"
"Oh, good sir, Gurgi does not know! He was in cockpit, and then the crashings and smashings started!"
That wasn't good, thought the rabbit with no nose. The front, from what he could tell, was partly underground, and mostly on fire. And the hallway was blocked after a few feet where the ceilling had completly fallen in, leaving no way through. He would have to give up Soda for lost, unless one of the others could find him. But that was unlikely.
"Come," said he to Gurgi, "let's get back to somewhere with more space. This hallway doesn't seem too safe."
Gurgi whimpered and nodded, and the two proceeded back to the room with the refrigerator. Only the rabbit with no distinguishing marks was there, having found the path he took mostly demolished, and unnavigatable. The three of them sat around for a bit, taking inventory of the food in the regrigerator, until Tyf and Speedy returned.
"Good news!" cried Speedy, still standing. "There's an exit not too far from here, and it's still in one piece!"
They waited for the rabbit with the irish accent, who soon returned. He had not been able to find Soda, or anything else, for that matter. But the ship was well and truly wrecked, from his account, with nothing working. Consoling Gurgi as they went, the six headed off in the direction Speedy said the exit lay.

The good luck, as it could almost be called, did not last. Soon, they found the roof of the passageway had caved in since Tyf and Speedy had last been there. However, the blockage was not severe, just a large metal bar. If they could hold it up, they could pass. But there was nothing nearby handy.
After some discussion, they decided two of them should hold it up, while the others passed, then they should follow. Speedy and the rabbit with no nose took unto themselves the task of holding the bar up, and the other four passed safely beneath.
"Ok, you go first." said Speedy, grunting from the effort it took to keep the bar up.
"First?" cried the rabbit with no nose, staring at Speedy. It was not hard, as they were at parallell with the passage. "I thought we were to go together!"
"Yes, but that won't work. Look at the ceilling over there -" he pointed further along the hallway at a section of ceilling, which was indeed sagging -"if we make a break for it, the impact of the bar when it falls is sure to cause the ceilling to cave in, preventing further progress. If you go first, at least one of us has a chance of making it."
That made sense to the rabbit with no nose, but he didn't like it. "But why should I go? You're the group leader, and you even have a name! I'm just "the rabbit with no nose". You're a much more important character. You go, save yourself!"
"Rabbit...." said Speedy, and looked at him. "We all have a name. You may just not have discovered yours yet."
This was a new concept. Names were discovered? But the rabbit with no nose thought it was a good concept, and tried to discover a name. A bit of nearby wreckage caught his eye. The word "Propulsion" was written on it.
"Speedy! I discovered my name! It's "Propulsion!" cried the rabbit with n - err, Propulsion.
"Just GO!" cried Speedy, exaspherated. Not taking the time to think about it, Propulsion ran for it, leaving Speedy baring the weight of the bar until safety allowed him to let go. But what was a strain for two rabbits, was not quite possible for Speedy alone, and he was forced to fling himself clear. Propulsion made it ahead of the falling ceilling, which did indeed block the passage throughly, but Speedy did not. Propulsion had no idea what had happened to his comrade, but there was no way to find out, so he ran ahead to catch up with the rest.

Tyf saw the rabbit with no nose sprinting up the passage, and cried out "Where's Speedy?"
"He didn't make it!" came the voice back. But now was not the time for sadness. They had to get out of the ship. The rabbit with the irish accent and that other rabbit were prying the door open, and breaking down would only be a hinderance. The rabbit with no nose, Tyf, and Gurgi stood by as the door groaned open, letting in more smoke then even on the inside. The other two got out through the door, and after no screams of terror were heard, the remaining three followed. They struggled through the smoke, intent on getting away from the demolished ship in case it exploded. Tyf was the first to see the group of soldiers awaiting them. What species they were, she knew not. One advanced from the rest and extended an arm to them, and Gurgi got scared and huddled next to the rabbit with the irish accent.

Above, the Nostril ships began descent.

[Ducky]

....


i'm afraid.

i don't know whats happening anymore! *bawls*

...snif


`duckay the bemused

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ aka beauman aka beauthing sat idly, in Somewhereness, fiddling with some of his contraptions that was in his Backpack of Stuffness For The Right Moment For No Particular Reason (BoSFTRMFNPR), when he then pulled out one of his older models of a PlotHole Gate-Jump, when he needed it, and saw an ugly black sploch on it.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Bah... always messing up my contraptions on these wild adventurers.... *mutter* *mutter*

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, without thinking, pulled out some rag and without thinking started rubbing it off, which he succeeded, but then noticed he pressed a red "activation" button down*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: why me? and why are these buttons always red?

*nothing happened*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hmmm... batteries must be dead... no wait... those aren't expired for another... milenia or 2... (the current standard, heh), unless they're just outta place...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ just, by reaction, shook it, and it turned on and launched a black plot hole, and emerged into a wreckage-littered area with much wreckage and litter... and a fridge... and some more wreckage...*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: why i do these things, i dunno...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then heard footsteps*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: footsteps? in this place? where has this plot hole tooken me now? bah...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ attempted to hide*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ failed to hide*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ attempted to hide*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ failed to hide*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ repeated the above another 10 times*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ successfully hid*
(you know all you hate it when that happens in games by Black Isle, *mutters about Icewind Dale* hehehe :))
Then a furry, long-eared creature walked rather haphazardly into the room, opening a nearby fridge and complaining*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ revealed himself out of the shadows*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ swung with a large slimey trout*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ did stun damage*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ did 3 damage (- 3 damage penalty)*
Furry-long-eared-creature-who-we-obviously-all-know-as-speedy:
ow... wadja do that for?
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: oh, it's you, Speedy? looks like tae plot hole invention thingie in my backpack of stuffness for the right momen- ach! bah... just my backpack, teleported me near familiar faces...
Speedy: Ah, beauthing!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: er... u mean BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ.
Speedy: Ya, that's right, beauman.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: no, not beauman, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ!
Speedy: uh... right...
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: so wat are u doin' in such a utterly uncleansly destroyed badly unkempt place in this neck of the ostrich?
Speedy: crash land, b00m, plan, support piece of steal, crash, stuck here, end of story.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: uh huh... that bad, eh?
Speedy: Yep... of course... if i had help... maybe i could get through...
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: i could help, methinks, jus' show meh tae way.
*Speedy then attempted to decipher the sudden change in dialect*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: er... show me the way :)
*Speedy, more fluent in regularish dialect over an unusual version of Tyfish dialect showed BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ to the area that collapsed*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok, i'll throw these stones asside, u throw those stones asside, aighT?
Speedy: K.
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and speedy, with marvelous ishy gooshy teamwork and speedyness, threw the rocks out of the way, so the bar could be lifted*
Speedy: alright, all that's left is that big pillar-bar thing.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: aight.
Speedy: you get that side, i'll get this side.
*they both lifted, and grunted, and sweated, then took off thier shirts and stuff and were sweating and looking sexy, and then they hesitated, not sure wat to do now that the bar was up in the air*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: errrr... *grunt* what now? how... arrrrrgg... are we going to get out?
Speedy: Easy *huff* we'll just go at the *grunt* *pause*... same time...
Speedy: 1...
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: 2...
Speedy: 3!
*they both ran forward, now the food supply of the fridge left behind*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: *sigh* lets sit down for a sec... need a little breather here...
Speedy: same...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then cluttered through his junk in his backpack thingie*
*Speedy then gasped, slightly annoyed*
Speedy: Is that a... JACK LIFT?
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: eh? o? this? ya, why?
Speedy: ARGGGGGGGGG... why didn't we just u tell me u had one?
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: uh... i dunno... u didn't ask i guess :)
*Speedy grumbled, since BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ mutters too much so everyone else is stuck with only the ability to grumble*

The rest of the persons were already continueing, nearing the surface... waiting for Unknown to continue with the plot :)
==============================================
You continue, unknown, i want this to get off the ground a little bit more before i write anymore, heh.

[Violet CLM]

Patrian Patrach stood there, looking foolish, arm out in front of him. The five creatures, four of whom might or might not be Galactic Rabbits, were looking at him. The female advanced, and tremulously extended her arm as well.. and contact was made. Evidently, the cultures were not too different. Unless they were like the primitive Galonquins, who imitated what you did. Further testing the level of intelligence, he spoke.
"Who are you?" No formal pleasentries, no elegance, just a short and simple question. Would they speak the same language? It was unlikely. But what's a possibility is worth trying.

The rabbit with the irish accent jerked as Gurgi huddled against him. Evidently, alien species were not a usual experiance to the thing. Which was odd for a spaceship co-pilot. But Gurgi didn't really behave like a spaceship co-pilot in many other ways, either, so it wasn't too much of a surprise.
It was evident what had frightened the furry creature. The apparent head of the alien group had extended an arm. Tyf stepped away from their group, and extended her hand. The two hands - he supposed that thing the alien had on it's arm was a hand - met. This was a monumentous occasion, now he came to think of it. Establishing contact with a new species.
Then the alien spoke. The rabbit with the irish accent was fairly sure it was speaking, as it seemed coordinated, and not a sound made out of shock. But the words, as they probably were, made no sense. A different language. How aggravating. Well, it was only to be expected. You could hardly expect aliens on an unexplored planet to speak the same language as you. But it made diplomacy harder. Not to mention getting home.

Patrian Patrach saw the look of non understanding on the face of the creature in front of him, so he pointed at himself. "Patrian", he said. Even if they spoke different languages, surely they would recognize naming.
"Tyf" said the creature in front of him. An interesting name, only one syllable. But syllables might not be a form of rank wherever these aliens had come from.
"Propulsion" said one of the maybe rabbits, and "Gurgi" quavered the furry, disheveled creature. The other two did not appear to have names. Maybe they were servants.
He gestured, hoping they would understand, for them to come with him. Surely their thinking would bring them to the conclusion that it was pretty much the best option. Fortunately, they understood the gesture, and so both parties walked towards the direction of Aranselum, the nearest settlement. You got all types in Aranselum - maybe someone there would know the language the aliens spoke.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ waited until Speedy finished grumbling, then got up. "Come on, don't just sit there. This place is probably still in danger of collapsing totally, considering the various crashes I've been hearing. Let's not waste time wool gathering, and try to get out onto the planet."
Speedy grumpily got up, and the two proceeded along the passage, until they came to where the door had been. Evidently, it and most of the ship surrounding it had collapsed, preventing progress.
"Here we go again." said Speedy, and the two began trying to clear away the rubble. But apparently, this blockage was much more severe, for for each load they moved away, another fell into place.
"Well," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, "we have two choices. Find another route, or look for something in this backpack which is probably copyright infringing on Batty Buddy's."
"Let's try the backpack." said Speedy, and reached inside. The PlotHole Gate-Jump, which had apparently somehow gotten back inside the backpack, came out.
"Worth a try." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so the obligatory red button was pressed.

Frang Frajine mumbled sleepily as the alarm bug climbed in through the window and bit him on an ear. "Five more minutes.." he said, but the alarm bug was not equipped with a snooze antennae, so the biting continued. At last, he brushed the thing away, and got up. School was back. No more vacation. Walking into the vacumn tube, Frang grabbed the acid-proof hologrambag from the table.
A few short time lengths later, Frang walked into the school. All about him were the disgruntled countenances that meant they did not appreciate the first day of school either. The first class was Mythology. What rubbish. Three clockrounds of listening to that batty teacher lecturing on about the god of this and the god of that, and what their ancestors sacrificed, and all that. Who cared?
"And so," said that 'batty teacher', "the gods of wisdom and stupidity vanished from the planet. But it was said, that they should come again at some later date. And, if you should be present when they do, remember this. The god of stupidity can be distinguished by the large trout he carries, and the god of wisdom by the fact that he shamelessly associates with someone who carries a large trout."
There was a pop, and two creatures were standing in the room. They were furry, and their ears were almost as long as Frang and the other inhabitants of the planet. One wore a bag, which was strapped to his shoulders, and the other carried a large trout.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked around the room, warily. It was filled with aliens, all staring at them, wide eyed. One, who seemed older then the rest, was bouncing up and down in exhilaration, crying out to the other aliens in some other tongue. Easily remedied. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pulled out a couple of translators, and put them on the throats of Speedy and himself. They had not been used since Miyamoto.. did they still work? Yes, now the older alien's cries could be understood. "The gods of wisdom and stupidity!"
Maybe the translators needed readjusting, thought BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and inspected them carefully. But no, they were working fine. So they were thought to be gods. That couldn't be too bad.
"I am the God of Wisdom!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, hoping that was right. If it was wrong, and they thought he was the god of stupidity, he couldn't say too much for their intelligence, so they probably wouldn't notice. Whispering to Speedy to play along, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ tried to strike a godly pose.
"I am the God of Stupidity." said Speedy, sulkily, waving the trout around a little. It was understandable, of course. Who would want to be thought the God of Stupidity by an entire species?

Propulsion strode along beside Gurgi and the rabbit with nothing to distinguish him. Evidently the alien were taking them somewhere, and it was likely to be better then being abandoned on the surface of an alien planet. It was really quite phenomenal that there was air they could breath. He would have thought all planets with air had been discovered ages ago. Just where were they, anyway?
After not too long a time, they came to what was evidently a city. The lead alien pointed at it and said "Aranselum!" importantly. But was Aranselum the name of the city, or some word describing it? For all he knew, "Aranselum" could mean "Prison Colony" in this alien tongue. But they had been treated fairly, and it would be kind of rude to run out on the aliens now.
They got inside the city without much difficulty, there being no guards to halt them. Evidently, this was either a time of piece, or Aranselum was protected by far more subtle means. The city was built much like any other city, with buildings and streets. The streets were packed with aliens, some holding up signs of some sort, reading unintelligle words. A large hovercraft seemed to be coming down one street, and was probably the source of the comotion. As it drew nearer, Propulsion made out details. It was quite elaborate, and two figures were sitting in the back of it, waving at the crowd. One wore a backpack, and the other swung a large trout around. And they didn't look like the other aliens did. In fact.....
"BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ!! Speedy!!!" cried Propulsion, and broke away from his group, running towards the hovercraft, pushing indignant aliens out of the way.
"Propulsion!" cried Speedy, and leaned over the side. "What are you doing here?"
"After we got out of the ship, we met up with some aliens, and they brought us here. But aren't you dead?"
Speedy laughed. "No, I -" he broke off as an alien in some sort of uniform spoke to him in the unknown tongue. But Speedy spoke back to him in the same, and the alien went away.
"You can SPEAK to them?"
Speedy slapped his forehead, accidentally using the hand with the trout in it, before leaning back into the hovercraft.
"BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ! I need a few more translators." After looking inquiringly at Propulsion, who held up five fingers, "Five of them."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ handed over the translators absent mindedly, apparently in deep conversation with some alien. Soon, Gurgi and the four rabbits Patrian had found had translators on their throats.

Patrian Patrach, along with four of his findings, watched in puzzlement as one of the could-be-galactic rabbits broke loose and ran towards the hovercraft. Apparently, the people of Aranselum were convinced that a couple of gods had come down, and were touring them in some hovercraft. But that did not explain the galactic rabbit - if it was one - 's sudden sprint.
He called to a civilian, and asked who were in the hovercraft.
"The Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity!" cried the civilian, exuberantly. "They have come to show us our mistakes, and probably impose high taxes!"
Well, that sounded like gods. Couldn't leave well enough alone if you told them to with a hot poker.
And the god of... Stupidity, by the looks, was talking to the galactic rabbit - assuming that was what it was. Could it be that they weren't just aliens, but other gods, as he had thought at first? But if they were gods, why hadn't they been able to speak the languages he had spoken in?
The God of Wisdom gave something to the God of Stupidity, and the other four aliens (or gods) that he had found went over to the hovercraft as well. The God of Stupidity, from what Patrian could tell, was giving them something. Apparently, they knew eachother, at least.

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

oh, this is sounding good... i see a good plot here ;) Hey! PEOPLEZ! THERE HAZ TO BE MORE PEOPLEZ WHO WANT TO POST!
One question Unknown.... Where are you in all of this? :)
==============================================

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was engaging in conversation with the mythology teacher, trying to leach out as much info as he could about thier "gods", so he could be prepared if they questioned him.

Mythology Teacher: Yes, so was it true that you predicted that
The God of Building would have an affair with The Goddess of Marble?

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: er.... Ya... i did... i saw it coming, it was very simple, really... i mean, the way that he was looking at her... and the way that she was looking at him... and uhhh.... After that spawned Marble Buildings, so uh.... ya.... What's your name?

Mythology Teacher: I am Stonrachu, Guru of Mythology. I was voted by the people here as a great teacher of Mythology. Of course, meeting a god in person... it is great! But why not just view us from above?

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Because... (Think, BæÅü! THINK!). We descended in Mortal Form, for we feel it would be better to meet the people this way... it is great that you teach of us rightfully.

Stonerachu: It is an honor.


The rest of the group saw Propulsion running over, and noticed 2 other furry creatures on the cart, and ran over, and also recognized them as BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and Speedy.
*the group ran over to catch up with them*

Propulsion: Here! take the translators!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: wait a sec, guys...
*everyone was about to put them on*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ switches his translator off*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: uhhh... they think i'm the god of wisdom, and they think Speedy is the god of stupidity... so uhhhhhhhhhhhh... i beleive we should play along for now... i know we'll have to face the consequences later... but we need to find out more wabout everything here, otherwise we're screwed either way.
Tyf: ok, so that means i get to be a Goddess?
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Er... ya... whatever you want to be the goddess of.
Tyf: I'll be tae Goddess of Canadian Sex, since veggie isn't here! er... wait, no canadians here... i'll just be the Goddess of Art or something lame like that.
Propulsion: God of Speed!
Speedy[grumbling]: Why couldn't i be that?
Gurgi: God of... HAIR!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: eh... we can't have too many gods... the other can be... uhhhh... Zealots[Devine Followers] of Tae Gods!

The plan was set, troubled was thier minds, but they didn't care, they were pretending to be gods, so it was phun, for now...

*soon, everybody was on the ship w/ translators, parading through the streets, including the patriarch was aboard with his guards, and the Mythology teacher, Stonrachu*

Patriarch: So the gods have finally come down?
Speedy: Yes, we have descended or something like that, what BæÅü... er... God of Wisdom over there said.
Patriarch: That is great news... let us feast in the halls of Kontroplicata Castle, to celebrate the visiting of the gods! Then, we might discuss matters that you all prolly know by now...
Gurgi[whispering to Propulsion]: Matters? what matters do u think he's talking about?
Propulsion: no idea...
==============================================
Unknown, check ur private messages, i'm going/have PMed u after this post.

[Violet CLM]

Patrian Patrach (Not Patriarch!) led the way. The seven creatures, two of whom claimed to be gods, and the other five who were of unknown.. pretty much everything, followed him, waving at people.
Frang Frajine broke loose from the crowd, and ran up to Speedy. "Hey, you're the God of Wisdom, right?"
Speedy shook his head. "Nay. I am the God of Stupidity. You should pay more attention in class." He had seen the alien in the classroom where they had emerged in, so he was able to say such an all knowing thing. It sounded all knowing, anyway.
Frang, not seeming embarrased, went over to the other side of the procession, where BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was, and repeated the question. "Hey, you're the God of Wisdom, right?"
"Yeh.. that's me, uh huh." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, whose mind was on other things. It might not be safe to have the others pose as gods - they did not know too much about the other gods of this planet, or what they looked like. He would have to think of something before they reached Kontroplicata Castle, wherein doubtless there would be introductions to be made.
"Well, can you help me? I need to figure out how to make my allowance last a week. I always spend it all within four days."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ groaned. This was an aspect of the role he hadn't bargained on. Next they'd probably be putting him on a gameshow. Lucky Speedy. But he would have to give some sort of answer...
"Uh, gee, I can't right now. I'm... preparing a speech!" Yeah, that was it. Preparing a speech. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea, either. Frang looked sad, and melted into the crowd.

Patrian turned to his followers, which had grown to a large number. Decent sized portions of the crowd had come along, hoping to watch. Well, the guards could deal with them easily enough.
Turning to the God of Wisdom, who was probably the best at this sort of thing, he said "Stay here, and keep everyone in line. I'll be back shortly."
This was true, really. He planned to be back shortly, and there weren't too many reasons he wouldn't be, so it was safe enough to say.
Patrian walked up to the gate of the castle and bid it open, which it did. The security cameras recognized him, which was good, as he had not been to Kontroplicata for a while. It was a nice place, too.
With an air of importance, Patrian strode through various corridors, past several different council chambers, until he reached the one he was looking for. The "Council for determining how to get the public to pay more then previously" room. This was undoubtedly their field.
"Hello, gentlemen." said he, stepping inside. "I have come to inform you of a new money making oppurtunity in your area. The general populace is determined that two aliens which have appeared are the Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity, whom they do look like. And they have five other characters with them. I'm sure you can do something with this information."
The council mulled it over briefly, before the man at the head of the table spoke. "Thank you for your concerns, your message shall be dealt with as we see fit. In the meantime, thank you for coming to us, and we hope you'll fall prey to one of our other "pay more" schemes."
That was taken care of. If this turned out to be a paticularly useful thing to them, he might get paid. And he could buy a higher title then "High Watermelon".
Rubbing his hands, Patrian left the council room, and navigated the castle until he found the King, who was playing 3D Chess with someone. That was odd. Pointy ears. Oh well.
"Your majesty." said Patrian, bowing.
"Patrian!" said the King, rising. "I was hoping you would drop by. Look, I'm absolutly stumped on a good move, and -"
"Not now." said Patrian, a little ruder then he had intended. "The Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity have come down, and I have brought them here to discuss -" he looked at the pointy eared stranger "- you know what. Should I arrange a hearing in the main chamber?"
"Oh, yes, yes, by all means." said the King. "Just imagine, the Gods! This is a monumentous occasion, now I come to think of it!"
"My thoughts exactly, sir." said Patrian.
"I'll be there shortly." said the King, and plumped back into his seat, studied the board a bit, then moved a piece, with a low chuckle.
The pointy eared stranger moved one of his pieces. "Checkmate, your highness."

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ listened carefully as... Patrian, he thought Tyf had said - gave him instructions, then nodded. Turning to the rest, he relayed the message, then kept an eye on things.
Soon, Patrian returned, looking cheery. "The king will see you now. Step this way, please." said he, then went back inside.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who had not had time to prepare a speech, followed, along with the rest of his party. A lot of civilians followed, but the gate closed after the rabbit with the irish accent, who was the last who was supposed to get in, so that was all right. Nice technology, too.
Soon, they were in the main chamber. Some big pompous fellow, who BæÅü supposed was the king, sat in a large chair, with some laser activating controls on either armrest. All around stood various other characters (Councilmen, Patrian whispered), looking grave.
"Your Highness, the Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity!" cried Patrian, importantly, waving a hand to indicate who he meant. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked important, and Speedy swung the trout along, accidentally smacking Patrian in the head. He quickly drew it back, and looked innocent.
"Ah, yes, very good, very good!" said the King, looking down on them. "But who are these others?"
Here was the tricky part. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had not quite figured out who they all were. And to make matters worse, Propulsion had told him that he, Tyf and Gurgi had told Patrian their names. Name changing for them would be difficult.
"Your highness -" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, thinking fast, "this is Gurgi, a Zealot. This is Tyf, a Zealot." Those two had wanted to be gods. So had Propulsion. He would have to do some explaining later.
"This is Propulsion, also a Zealot. It is healthy for gods to keep a few of them around, just in case." Quickly, he turned to the rabbit with the irish accent, and whispered. "You're irish, right?" The rabbit nodded. "Pick some god from irish mythology. Any. And say you're a god from another world."
While the rabbit with the irish accent gulped, looked at the King, and said "I am a god from another world - Dagda, the Green Harper.", BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ turned to the remaining rabbit, and continued whispering. "You. Pick a god, any god. And remember to say you're from another world."
"I, too, am another wordly god." said the rabbit with nothing to describe him. "My name is Ares, god of War."

Patrian was startled. No wonder those two had neglected to say their names back when they had first met. If they were gods.

[Violet CLM]

"Good, good." said the King. "The more gods, the more likely you are to suceed against the dark force."
There was some nervous tittering among the rabbits, and Gurgi cowered some more for the sake of habit.
"As you doubtlessly know, but I shall repeat for the sake of Ye Zealots, some weeks ago there was a large explosion to the East. A large object, like the one you Zealots arrived in, had crashed onto the planet's surface. There was but one survivor, though we know not how many there were originally. The people to the East unwisely aclaimed him as the God of Crashlandings, even though any fool knows the God of Crashlandings has a wart on his nose. Anyway, this imposter started a thriving business to the East, which claimed to produce Fuzzy Bunny Slippers, whatever those are. Many workers went to work for him, until it was learned that the poor souls who went there were merely shot, maimed, and hurled through space."
There was a collective gasp. "Blagagnga!"
"Naturally, after that, the steady stream of 'workers' stopped going there, and the imposter was angry. He threatened to destroy the planet if we did not supply him with more of us to shoot and main and hurl through space. The Easterners did not take him up on it. The claimed due date for the destruction of the planet, in fact, is in five clockrounds."
"So, what you're saying is, you want us all to go and defeat this guy?" asked Propulsion. Mayhaps they Were on Quest, after all.
"Of a certainty." said the King, relaxing in his chair. "Do you undertake this mission, oh godly ones, or is this not the reason you have come down?"
There was a silence, but after thinking about it, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ stepped forth. After all, it couldn't be too much worse then being put on gameshows. "Sire, us Gods and the Zealots shall go forth to the East, and come back with news of the defeat of this evil one, or not at all. But we require a little aid from your scientific field."
"Of course, of course!" said the King, obviously relieved. "I put Patrian here at your disposal. Ask him for anything you need."

Patrian Patrach, High Watermelon of the Kingdom of Padoing, escorted the so called Gods and Zealots out the door. They could be who they claimed to be, of course, but the doubts were many. Still, it couldn't hurt to extend his services.. although the King of Aranselum had no right to order Him about.
"What do you require?" he asked the 'God of Wisdom', with just a hint of malice. High Watermelons should not be ordered about, even if they wanted better titles.
But before the God of Wisdom could answer, that weird Zealot, whose species couldn't quite be identified, spoke up. "But where is great feast of crunchings and munchings that are both presumptious and scrumptious? Oh, poor hungry Gurgi is rolling about, his stomach so empty it hurts with stabbings and jabbings!"
That was true. He had promised a Feast. But you would think they'd have forgotten about that, what with the heavy task of saving the planet. But the Zealots were but mortal, after all.
"Oh, of course. Please follow me." said Patrian, leading the group along some streets until they reached a fairly respectable Keronese restraunt. Even the gods should like Keronese food.
He was right. The 'gods' and 'zealots' partook of the fare without misgivings, and then footed him with the bill. He grumpily paid the waiter, then once outside, resumed his earlier line of inquiry.
"Now, God of Wisdom. What 'aid from our scientific field' do you require?"

"A Spaceship!" Propulsion began, but BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ clamped his hand over the rabbit's mouthm and quickly whispered to him. "Can't you tell they don't know what a spaceship is? Ours and the one of Blagagnga have been described as "large things", not craft of any kind. They may have Hovercrafts, but it is obvious their research has proceeded along some different path then ours."
Propulsion sighed. His main concern was to get away from here, and back to Carrotus. But it seemed like they were stuck here to save the planet.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ turned back to Patrian. "First, please take us to the nearest Radio station."
What did Radio have to do with it, Propulsion wondered. Did BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ want to try to talk to Blagagnga, and try to settle the dispute? That was ridiculous. But he went along behind BæÅü and Patrian, twirling a finger around his ear when BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wasn't looking.

Jim Drab roamed the lush surface of Paradisia, where Blagagnga had last been reported. If the planet were only civilised, he could ask the local yokels if the outlaw had been here, but it was not. Once more, he cursed the luck that had presented Blagagnga with a spaceship. Although luck might not be the word for Blagagnga finding a spaceship, waiting until the pilot got out, then disposing of the poor guy in the usual fashion. Tubelectric was doubtless getting quite crowded with all the dead bodies.
"Chief?"
Jim turned around to the voice of Ime D. Recap, a Plotline Hotline employee they had picked up on Industrius.
"Yes, Ime? Have you found trace of Blagagnga?"
"No.. but why do we persue him for all enternity? Is there any real point? Is it personal?"
"Don't you know?" Jim was startled. Obviously, Plotline Hotline training was rather low these days. What this man was asking was rudimentary company doctrine.
"Well, some time ago, when no posts had been made for quite some time, rather like now, we asked the Plot o' Matic machine what to do, and it had no idea. So I went to the vaulted realms of Mr. Continuity.. but he was dead."
"Who's Mr. Continuity?" asked Ime, interrupting.
Jim stared. "Have you had no training at all? Plotline Hotline is the more down to Carrotus embodiment of Mr. Continuity, the Spirit of Sense throughout the War Tavern story. Nobody's really too clear about what exactly he did before he died, but it must have been something important. Anyway, I went to the all seeing portrait of Mirrow, who showed me the murderer of Mr. Continuity - an idiot called Blagagnga, who appeared to be the friend of a Taverner called Kovu. So we went to the War Tavern, hoping to kill them both, which oddly enough was at the same time as the subsequent invasions of the Cast and Crew of Jurassic Park Something or Other, and ANTI-TUBBS. Anyway, it was all a big misunderstanding, and in order to get revenge for Mr. Continuity, we have been persuing Blagagnga ever since."
"Oh....." said Ime, obviously still kind of confused. "So what will you do when you find him?"
"Why, we'll grind his bones to make our bread, of course!" said Jim. "Now leave me alone. I'm searching for traces of Blagagnga, just like you should be doing."
Ime turned red and rushed off in some opposite direction. Recruits these days.
Suddenly, Jim's pager began beeping. He pulled it out. "Hello?"
"Jim! Get over to the ship! We've recieved a radio signal from some people on the same planet as Blaganga.. it seems he's started an evil empire there, and his evil plans shall come to a head in five days! We've got to get over there at once, and grind his bones to make our bread!"
"Just what I was saying recently." said Jim, on the way back. "Make an announcement on the common band, will you? We don't want to leave anyone behind like we did on Planet Moltemia."
The person he was talking to made a vocal shudder. "No. Poor Ahz Sleep. But it couldn't be helped."

The next day, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Speedy, Tyf, Gurgi, Propulsion, "Ares", "The Dagda", Patrian and the King stood around a large cleared off space, with landing lights strewn around it.
"Look, are you sure this will work?" asked Speedy. "I mean, using a radio on a planet that hasn't discovered space flight yet to contact Plotline Hotline? It just sounds like asking for trouble."
"That's why I'm the God of Wisdom and you're just the God of Stupdity." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, smugly. "Of course it will work. Even if I got the wave length wrong, Plotline Hotline is so sophisticated, they'll probably get the message anyway.
Suddenly, there was a flash of light in the sky, and a spaceship appeared. Patrian and the King pointed at the sky in wonder, and Speedy looked disgruntled, but other then that, things were calm.
The spaceship, which bore anicent ruins upon it that meant "PH", after not too long, was within a distance close enough to make out details, such as the large smiley face painted on front of the ship in case the inhabitants of the planet were hostile. For a few seconds, the ship descended smoothly straight towards the landing area. Then, suddenly, without warning, it continued to descend, smoothly, straight towards the landing area. The only anomalie in the landing of the Plotline Hotline (for such it obviously was) was the fact that the pilot, on accident, sent out the landing ramp Before having completly landing, making them seem much less impressive and a little more incompetant.
"Pssst, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ!" whispered "Ares", who had been thinking about this carefully. "While the natives are buttering up Plotline Hotline and informing them of the task and everything, why don't we all commandeer their ship and fly away?"
"Because it would be ungracious, rude, and because I didn't think of it." snapped BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "Besides, the controls probably aren't just usable by Anyone."
This was probably true, in fact. Ever since some weird and improbable incident a few years ago, Plotline Hotline had been very secure against intruders.

Quite a ways to the East, the seven remaining Nostril Starships touched down next to Blagagnga's 'factory'. They had misjudged their landing spot by a severe amount, and thus had not come down anywhere near the ship of Han Soda.

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

(sorry for not posting, Unknown... i've gotten assigned Study Hall after school as of late, and my mom searching for that new SUV was very tiring)

[Newspaz]

Bah! I'm dead.

*thinks of a smart plan*
HAH! Reincarnate me or I, or I shall sue everyone who used my name without my permission. Muwahaahahaha!

[Disguise]

"Not that type of 'witty' material!" snapped Disguise, after checking his hair to make sure it wasn't true. "This weird god like thing came down to earth a few days ago and told me that on the day after this one I would run out of witty material to insert as mask messages in textured backgrounds and trees and thingies!"

You know, the first time in my life I ever look at war tavern stuff from ANY forum and I find stuff liek THAT!

HAHAHAHAH!!! ITS HILARIOUS!!!! Unknown Rabbit, thats some of the funniest stuff I've seen, lol

*goes back to his life of Warcraft 3 away from War Taverns*

[Violet CLM]

Well, Newspaz, it's really kind of unclear on if you're dead or not.

(For the benefit of late comers... The NEWSPAZ SAGA!)


First appearance:
"Blagagna was pondering if he should change his ways or not when Newspaz joined the server and blew him into smithereenies on accident. "|Newspaz roasted Blagagna" read the non-existant screen. Newspaz had no idea he had just terminated an exciting member of the current plot, so he ran around shooting at various bushes until someone else joined. Nobody ever did find out who had been hosting."

Later continuation to that:
"Newspaz carefully took aim at an idle rabbit in an unsportsmanship manner, and fired. "|Newspaz roasted An idle rabbit" flashed upon the nonexistant screen, and Newspaz won.
"Yay," said Newspaz, "I won."
"It's true, you did."
"Wha? Who are you?"
"I'm the current author, Newspaz."
"I'm in a story!? Wait until I get ahold of my agent..."
"You were merely included to stop a wandering plot segment, and then you were talked about right now in order to explain so you'd feel better about roasting Blagagna."
"But... but I didn't feel bad about it! It's what you DO in a battle!"
"Heartless wretch."
And so I withdrew, and Newspaz tried to wake up, but nothing happened, so he went about his buisness as usual until the server stopped for no reason."

Brief mention:
"And, somehwere, on a list server far away, Newspaz continued to roast, and roast he did."

A chance for Newspaz's life?:
"Newspaz wandered in a wandering fashion into Samg, where he met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast. Well, I'm still here and he's a rather tasty breakfast meal often asorbed by bi or not by pedual **** sapiens in large quanities during breakfast time. Eventually he'll be reincarnated as Newspaz again, and will set about making Meza2, a version of Mez02A in 3D, which nobody but Newspaz would be able to imagine until it's finished."

Event furthered by that event:
"This is the last Will and Testament of (Insert Newspaz's first name here) "Newspaz" (Insert Newspaz's last name here). All of "Newspaz"'s real estate, money, artifacts, fame and general popularity shall be given to <strike>his father</strike>High Chancellor Palpetine, as campaign funds. His pet lava lamp shall be given to the highest bidder. We assure you that "Newspaz" was alive, and in sane body and mind when <strike>we</strike> he wrote this, and no evil masterminds altered it in ANY WAY to further their schemes."

But then, after the time machine..:
"And Blagagnga Didn't get roasted by Newspaz, who would later be killed by Darth Maul."

So, although he didn't roast Blagagnga, it does sound like he's dead.

However!:
"Chancellor Palpetine, due to not having the funds from Newspaz's modified will, Didn't change around the Plotline Hotline machines so only Sith could use them."

So it's a mystery! IS NEWSPAZ ALIVE OR DEAD? *Ominous music plays*

[RockyR]

Wow, good times, mr. Unknown Rabbit. You have quite the knack at this I'd say. Coming along so well along your lines i'll have to stick to the carrotus plot, which seems nice because it can be useless/partially useful material.

- - -

Here ducky, now we'll have something to do . .

Losing the tavern, for everyone not off to find a Home Depot on earth. . . not that they're having a bit of luck, was like losing their babysitter at three years old. They'd like to go off and do whatever they wanted, but what? The door opened at the War Tavern and you could come inside, but no one did a lick of anything outside.
However by this time the outing was over and hunger had taken over all of them. No one kept food around except Admael of course who had cans of spam - but that was out of the question.

"Hey, how about a restaurant trip?" participated Speedy. What a fine idea that was - who has a bar out in the middle of nowhere? Well, the War Tavern, but there were cities all around the residing area. Short vocalizations of areement were all some people could manage. The drunks were just off the wall, because there wsn't one, laying down from hangovers, which they had never experienced before - all they had done before was drink, no breaks or anything. Had anyone been less hungry than the others a vicious argument would have transpired about where to eat and would have taken long enough for the Tavern to be rebuilt. Bartman attempted to move and had no luck. Cobra tried to hoist Bluez ahead at least a few steps but they both collapsed. And Batty Buddy couldn't even stand up. "We can't move, can we call for takeout?" he strained. Admael requested she be able to do a food spell and cook them up something. "Too healthy!" said Bartman. Admael was only full enough to put the thought in his head of being hit with boards. Baeauman had a cell phone, coming out of his laptop, but of course the batteries were dead. This increased the level of dissapointment - they were so hungry they couldn't even get anywhere to eat. "Help me, I'm hungry," was what Rocky's mouth moved to say with wide eyes.

Sadly enough, as late as an hour later no one had hardly said a thing. Sleep was not an option. A few select individuals, such as Batty Buddy had begun to eat the grass. What a novel idea, and it was good hearty food. They were doubled over on all fours eating the grass and clover face first. Although they had been so used to warm food on plates and all sorts of luxury something about this felt right. Ducky hunched over and ate flowers, chewing with quick, short bites. Noses were moving around through the weeds and then the plants were quickly eaten.
"I like it because it's free," stated Ninja. In less than ten minutes the lot of them, even Kitty, had begun to eat the lawn and garden material laid before them. And they realized it was everywhere, and they grew simply happy. Ninja forgot about his sword and others kicked off their shoes and bandanas, and those sort of things tat some of them wore. Nothing but grass, was all they thought about, and clover, and dandelions. Lettuce and greens were always nice before but it tasted fresher, of course, here.

A vehicle flew quickly overhead with some city folk. "So much for that evolution nonsense," said one of them.



(Rocky)

[Violet CLM]

I give thanks to Rocky for, at the least, posting, even though it was on Carrotus and contained a few errors. (Speedy and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ being on the as-of-yet-unnamed planet) Still, it leaves me with the task of replying, working off material from my own post, which incidentally had the same dilemma. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ? Kovu? Anyone?


Jim Drab stepped from the spaceship onto the landing ramp, which had been extended before it should have been. Around the spaceship sat a variety of characters. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, the intergalactic troublemaker was the only one Jim recognized, though he was pretty sure he had seen some of the others before. And a couple of - by Continuity's grave - aliens of an uncharted species! This could be interesting.
Jim turned back into the spaceship, to where Bill Bored was sitting at a control console. "Bill, contact the Multiversal Discovery Orginization, and tell them I have discovered a new race, which I henceforth shall call the "Drabians", after me."
Bill started complying with the order, as Jim Drab continued his descent onto the planet surface. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ came over to him, and took some sort of device off of his throat. By the looks of things, it was an outdated version of a Omni-Corp twoway translator, limited edition throat attachment design.
"Hi, Jim. Look, these aliens think we're all gods and Zealots, so if you could just act as if you're divine warriors or something like that, it would be helpful, all right?"
Jim nodded, trying to picture some of the assorted rabbits as gods, as BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ ran off to one of the two Drabians, calling "I'll explain later" as he went, refitting the translator. Evidently, this wasn't quite the ordinary hunt down.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's brow furrowed. Jim Drab and the rest of Plotline Hotline were probably not going to support the image of Gods and all that. So he should warn him to comply. Considering that they now had the aid of Plotline Hotline, and all their machinery, they might not need the belief of the aliens, but it was probably safest to retain the guise. Besides, it was nice being thought of as a god. So BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ went over to Jim Drab, taking off the translator so the aliens wouldn't understand his side of the conversation, and gave a brief explanation.
Blast, the King was gesturing. With a hurried "I'll explain later", BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ went over to the majesty, putting the translator back on.
"Who are these creatures?" asked the King, gesturing. Darn. He had hoped the aliens could just assume they were divine warriors of some sort or another, and not asking questions. Thinking fast, BæÅü scanned the assembly for inspiration. Ah!
"Sire, this is the army of Ares, the God of War. Like traveller's checks, he don't leave home without them."
The King nodded, wisely, and watched in moderated wonder as most of the rest of Plotline Hotline trooped out, with their Photon Anti-Mistake Beamers at the ready, in case of plot errors. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ overheard Jim whispering "now do something divine", but it was soon forgotten as Plotline Hotline's emerged employees started dancing, and making bizarre light shows. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed, and covered his face in his hands.
Later, after the Plotline Hotline people had taken their bows, and all that, Jim Drab, Gurgi, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and the other rabbits met in an apartment in the "Acid-drop Inn", which had generously been allocated to the gods for the purpose of meeting in it.
"Ok, here's the situation." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, relaxing in a chair built for relaxing in. "The aliens of this planet-"
"Drabians." interjected Jim Drab. "I named them myself, and reported the discovery to the Multiversal Discovery Orginization via an employee."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed. "The Drabians think that Speedy (each name was accompanied with a gesture towards that person), myself, that rabbit with a shamrock in his fur, and that rabbit over there without any distinguishing marks are Gods. I'm the God of Wisdom, Speedy's the God of Stupidity, the shamrock guy is Dagda, an irish god, and that guy is Ares, the Greek god of war. And you're all Ares' army."
Before Jim could interrupt, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ continued; "Gurgi, Tyf and Propulsion are all Zealots. Now, the reason you all were summoned is because Blaganga has set up shop in the East, and will blow up the planet in four "Clockrounds", which I believe means days. Unless they use a 12 hour clock, in which case he'll blow it up in a day and a half. I forgot to ask which."
Tyf stared at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "You never mentioned that!"
Thankfully, Jim Drab broke in. "So basically, you want us to go and defeat Blagagnga, so we can have fufilled our goal, and you can reap the rewards upon this planet."
"Well, not exactly." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. Although a nice idea, they could only keep up this God bit for so long, so it wouldn't work too well. "We want to get off this planet once everything is done with. More specifically, back to Carrotus."
"Whatever." said Jim. Obviously, the matter of safe transport home was less important to him then defeating Blagagnga. "So if there's a possibility the world will blow in a day and a half, we ought to leave right away. Where exactly is Blagagnga?"

Seven hours later, Plotline Hotline, the 'gods', 'zealots', and Patrian Patrach - who had wanted to come along - landed the Plotline Hotline spaceship behind a rockpile near Blagagna's fortress. Patrian had been something of a hinderance during the trip, wanting to look at everything, even such rudimentary objects as the in-flight cocktail peanut.
They were surprised to see seven other starships already nearby the 'factory'. Gurgi yelped, and hid behind a large boulder, muttering about the Nostrils.
Speedy, annoyed because BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had been getting more POVs lately then him, looked at Gurgi. "Those ships belong to the Nostrils?"
"Yes, yes!" whined Gurgi, huddling. "Bad Nostrils sent our ship down with whirlings and twirlings, until it crashed! Oh, just looking at them, poor Gurgi is reminded of noble lords like Han Soda, all dead!"
Speedy, realizing Gurgi could easily say too much in his worried state, turned to Patrian, speaking loudly. "These craft belong to evil enemies of his race. What they are doing here, we know not, but all shall be revealed once the evil one is conquered."
Patrian, not looking as if he really bought it, turned away, and stood surveying the factory which had been claimed to make fuzzy bunny slippers.


Come on, I'm running out of ideas. I need fresh material to work off of.

[RockyR]

I maintain that I'm concerned about butchering whatever you had in mind for these characters but it is very true that if the story stops nothing will happen to them. All apologies, in case of inaccuracies which I hit on the ball so well. :eek:


"It looks like we should go inside," requested Speedy as they had sat outside the fortress for a few minutes now and time was of the essence. Jim Drab promptly decided the same. Baeauman and 'Ares' realized this would be an excellent time to determine wheter the other ships would be a problem. No 'nostrils' appeared outside the ships, they had parked there and were likely inside. "If it doesn't move, shoot it anyway," mottoed the plain rabbit - and produced a rocket from Jim Drab's pack and loaded it into his gun. He fired at the ship situated most in the middle in hopes that they would all be damaged. If anything was inside, or if they were caught on the way in, armed ships around the area would be unsafe.
When the rocket it the explosion produced was larger than expected because it was rigged inside with an explosive. The other ships were set off and the explosions were right in everyone's face. "Not a good idea stupid!" yelled tyf, followed by a generic anger expression on the face of 'ares'. Jim Drab interjected - "This is where blagagnga's forces find out we're here!." he narrated. This was not assuring to anyone.
For the sake of his being oblivious, Patrian had taken a break to wash his hands and face. The group now had to reenter their guise although he was suspicious. Propulsion took it upon himself to ask the king if he had a floor plan of the factory. Why in fact, being king, he did have a floor plan but of course, not with him. Mr. Jim Drab however had picked up the plan 'while he was there' and gave it to Propulsion. A large structure but with little intricacies, trying to resemble a bunny slipper factory after all. The floor level with them was mostly a large foyer area with offices and the first floor hurling chute in the back. Currently these were occupied with soldiers, jim had penciled in during the flight. They must have seen the explosions and had likely planned the trap themselves. Propulsion alerted the others and they ran for the side of the building. Most of the doors were in the front. Gurgi was forced to look frightened.

"The best way in is through this chute," described Baeauman - 'All the officers will be outside trying to kill us by the time we get back there, then we can get off the first floor,"
A good plan "By jove", clevered Ares. The lot of them climbed through the rocks and sped across the flat ground. For effect the soldiers could be heard ordering and firing out front searching for the invading folks. The side wasn't long and they reached the back in good time - with a slight issue at hand. "Hey, where's the chute??" brought up Speedy as god of stupidity. Through the windows, muffled alarm noises were audible. "Ach, de lieber, the soldiers hafe set off und alarm!" groaned the Dagda. Patrian was confused - "You are scottish, right?" he questioned.
"There's a bug in the matrix," said Tyf. Baeauman considered things and Speedy answered first. "Blagagnga is mr. continuity, he must have messed us up," he decided. Thus the chute was gone and the characters had problems. "Would you believe me when I tell you, you're the queen of my heart?" Gurgi asked Jim Drab.
Baeauman had fabricated his response "The alarms have, shockingly alerted Blagagnga and he's messed up the continuity for us, so he will have time to blow up the planet."
"Shouldn't he just kill us or advance time so it blows up now?" aptly questioned Propulsion. "Hey, it's continuity for a reason," closed Baeauman. "However the window of opportunity is far from bulletproof," said Tyf and gunned at most of the back windows in front of them. "Let's go,"
Gurgi was afraid to jump through but Jim hoisted him up and they jumped through and reached the others. Speedy and Baeauman looked for soldiers left inside, and finding none, motioned to go up the first flight of stairs as noted by the floor map. Gurgi was again scared out of his/its wits. "There will be soldiers!" he clamored. In fact there were, in movie ambush style in fact doubly, the second floor doors all opened rather choreographically and found soldiers coming out of them in droves, some of them rolling, some of them with guns already pointed over their shoulders, and of all sizes, and of course before shooting they all stopped with their guns pointed silently to make the issue at hand very evident. "Well!" said Speedy.
"I command you all to stop!" shriek-ordered Patrian Patrach. "We do not follow your orders!" answered one of them nearby. For lovely more problems soldiers from outside had filed inside due to the commotion, and found the enemy cornered in the middle/end of the flight of stairs. Not knowing what essential suspense was being carried out they began to fire immediately. Patrian was shocked and yelled for the gods to save him. Jim Drab wasn't fast enough on his feet for this one. Baeauman elcited a huge magnetic pulse gun with a likely clever name, which could be determined later by unknown rabbit if necessary.
Speedy's hands soon controlled a laser weapon of similar proportions. Tyf and Gurgi had their share of automatic firepower.
Baeauman's cannon shot a giant magnetic burst towards the front, disrupting the shots and then crashing into the huge metal wall. A second and third shot set on a different parameter dragged the soldiers and their metal armor across towards it and sent them carreening into the walls with them. This produced wuite a bit of shock but the group was still ducking and covering from shots from above. Speedy, Tyf, and Gurgi took care of this. Speedy set the range to maximum and a wide beam took out a space-saving amount of soldiers. After some more barrage the problem had been greatly reduced, especially since the other members had begun to fight also, even Jim Drab, with a slingshot, dreadfully accurate. The alarms remained and Blagagnga was unable to be aware of the downsizing that had occured below. As the dust cleared, for comedy effect bunny slippers lay strewn about with the troops, some even in mildly amusing positions such as hanging off of their feet . .
"Same thing next floor?" asked Patrian.
This would have been true but the third floor according to the map was for storage. Not having been a comfortable planet for the most part Tyf and Gurgi were tempted to take one of many pairs for themselves, but most of the stores were truthfully weapons and negative items to their well-being as such.
Two floors of workers, the first floor being mainly for production, had been enough, with the hurling, maiming function that went on. However with a skilled attack team with the power of plot and also, skill, this was not enough soldier capacity. A ceiling lay above them and it wasn't the roof, this was a tall building from the outside, was up above but without an entrance. Blagagnga had plainly added on to the building for purposes of difficulty. Maybe there were soldiers but possibly empty floors, as mr. continuity had watched how empty pieces of plot can be more of an obstacle than real plot advancements. A consensus was reached that they would have to climb the fortress and see how to get in to the next floor, because it was undescribed on the floor plan. A sigh akin to everyone there exited from the uninteresting rabbit.


(Rocky)
Stuff is good

[Violet CLM]

"Hey..... wait a minute." said Jim Drab, looking at Speedy, after making sure Patrian Patrach was busying himself with some damage costs. "What do you mean Blagagnga is Mr. Continuity? He's the murderer, not the embodiment!"
Speedy looked flustered. "Well, it just popped into my head, and sounded right, so I said it."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed. "Continuity is dead...", which got a general agreement, followed by "That's not what I meant.".
So they continued, however slowly, onward, in the fashion of a group of people slowly continuing onward through the big building of the big bad guy, where all the soliders and stuff know they're there and everything.
The group rounded a corner, and a barrage of gunfire conviniently missed them. Jim hastily withdrew behind the wall, and readied his Plotline Hotline "Never-Miss" slingshot. He loosed one of the red hot stones, which missed, because he hadn't been aiming at anything in paticular. Beside him, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's Creatively Handled Immensely Cool Kill-Enabled Nova Blaster (or CHICKEN Blaster for short) launched a volley of Nova-Powered chickens. I.E., they exploded.
Tyf and Gurgi fired their assorted assortment of sorted automatic weaponry in the general direction the gunfire had come from. Gurgi manned his while shrieking and bouncing and that sort of thing, while Tyf tried to pose for a movie poster.
Speedy launched several magnetic pulses in a row before letting the most likely impossibly built weapon recharge, all the while avoiding Propulsion, who was dancing around looking for a weapon.
'Ares' and 'Dagda' scanned the direction they had come from, in case of that annoying "trapped on all sides" bit movie goers know so well.
The King, who wasn't there in the first place, sat in his throne and lost at chess.
And Patrian Patrach jumped up and down, trying to get all the other people to notice that they were firing at nothing other then a row of champagne bottles, which had shot corks at the party.

Frang Frajine walked by the brick wall with various ads stuck onto it reading things such as "Play the new Infiltrate the Fuzzy Bunny Slipper Factory console game!" and "Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity ACTION FIGURES!" and "Tired of ordinary hovercraft? Then dazzle your friends by riding through the streets in the spacecraft of Ares' Divine Army!". Ever since Patrian Patrach had paid his visit to the Council for determining how to get the public to pay more then previously, ads such as this had sprung up all over Aranselum, no longer quite the paradise it had once been.
Sighing, Frang stuck his hand under the DNA checker of the door, walked through, and entered his room. There was really nothing like hacking a few computers to raise one's spirits.

BoX exited from the J2S Archives, which he had been maliciously sucking into his void, and got back into his postal van before anyone noticed that he had been maliciously sucking J2S Archives into his void. The next mail delivery was to Blagagnga, current residence Unknown Planet. Fortunately, the evils of BoX were evil enough to discern the exact longitude, lattitude and current mood of the reciepent, so the postal van warped into ultradrive and sped through the cosmos.
A few minutes later, BoX landed the van behind the wreckage of what had probably been seven or so starships, and proceeded towards the large building. Using his Evil Evils, BoX located the best path to Blagagnga, which BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's group had overlooked totally, and took it, arriving there three minutes later.
Blagagnga, not noticing the mail carrier was a BoX because he was an idiot, took the mail and opened it. BoX went and sat in a large despression in the floor, even though BoXs can't sit, having fufilled the last delivery for the day. Maybe he could find some nice things to suck into his void here.

The group that you keep hearing about proceeded along a narrow corridor, one at a time. All were very nervous, especially Gurgi, as single file proceedings were very susceptible to attack. As it was, however, no gates fell seperating the travellers, or anything like that.
Soon, they came to a chamber of some sort, with two exits, both with convinient signs above them. One read "Really Secret Path to Inner Chamber, where Blagagnga is most often to be found without any guards whatsoever" in a small font. The other directed travellers with "Planet Destroying Bomb and Shoot/Maim/Hurl combination machine right this way".
"Wow, what a decision..." muttered Jim, looking back and forth.
"I suggest we split up." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, wisely.
"Fine." said Jim, readying his slingshot. "I'm going to seek out Blagagnga."
But before any more decision could be reached, Patrian's sharp ears caught the sound of footsteps. "Not more soldiers!" said Tyf, grumpily. "Where does he get them all?"
"I'm not sure." said Speedy, thinking. "I doubt they're the 'Drabians' to the east, and he was the sole survivor of his crash. I think all these soldiers are more continuity errors."
"Which proves we're getting close." said 'Dagda', not knowing if it was true, but saying it because it sounded believable.
"Nostrils!" shouted Gurgi, suddenly, and they all turned around. Instead of the soldiers expected, seven black robed figures were proceeding up the hallway, silent except for their footsteps, and the rustling of their robes.
There was general pandemonium. At first everyone except Gurgi held their calm, but one of the Nostrils lifted a hand and a wall evaporated, so everyone started running around and screaming. As it was, Jim Drab and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ ran up the path to Blagagnga, Speedy and Propulsion took the corridor leading to the machinery, and the rest (after crashing into a lot of things) were left to hold the Nostrils off until the escaped four had completed their missions.

Jim ran up the corridor, all trace of joviality gone. This was the enemy of his life, the murder of Mr. Continuity, the current bad villain guy.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ followed, also resolutish. Although Blagagnga's defeat was not so important to him, he did want to get off of this planet in Jim Drab's spaceship, and that would really require them getting out of this alive.
Soon, they reached the Inner Chamber, where Blagagnga was sitting around lazily, reading mail, unprotected. A void occupied a small part of the floor, and the pair carefully sidestepped around it.
"Blagagnga." said Jim Drab, dramaticly.
Blagagnga flipped over to the other side of the paper.
"I have come." said Jim, glaring at Blagagnga for being so calm about the whole thing.
Blagagnga combed his hair.
"My name is Jim Drab, head of Plotline Hotline. You killed Mr. Continuity. I have come to kill you."
Blagagnga yawned, and scratched an itch.
"He's an idiot." reminded BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ.
Jim, tired of the pleasentries, aimed his slingshot and fired. A red hot stone sped from the rubber band, and sped straight at Blagagnga. But somehow, inexplicably, no defense mechanisms activated, and the stone simply hit Blagagnga in the face. Poor Blaggy fell over onto the floor.

Speedy and Propulsion reached the end of the ridiculously short corridor. Spotting a guard, Speedy used the magnetic pulse gun to pin him to the wall. While Propulsion disposed of the weapon, Speedy walked over to where the captive was captive. "Now, suppose you tell us how to deactivate the Planet Destroying Bomb, or would you prefer hanging there for another few hours?"
"No!" cried the guard, struggling to get free. "The planet will blow up in a few hours! I don't want to spend the last moments of my life stuck to a wall!"
Propulsion rolled his eyes. "Well, then, tell us how to deactivate it."
The guard twisted. "I can't! If I say it, my life will end instantly! It's an old villain mastermind cliche'!"
The two rabbits looked at eachother. The poor guy was probably right.
"Well, then, can you show us how, without saying it?" asked Speedy, conjolingly.
The guard wordlessly pointed at a paper attached to the wall with detailed instructions on how to shut down Planet Destroying Bombs for fun and profit in one easy step.
"The Planet Destroying Bomb is powered by the Shoot/Maim/Hurl machine." read the paper, upon inspection. "To shut it down, a living person must enter the Hurl input tube, of their own free will, never to return alive."
Speedy gulped.
Propulsion followed suit.
The guard tried to get free from the wall.

Jim Drab looked at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, perplexed. "That was easy."
"Too easy." responded BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, turning on some spooky music in his headphones. "Look out for traps."
Slowly, a wall opened, and a very small hovercraft flew out, Blagagnga seated in it. "I just killed you!" cried Jim, staring from Blagagnga in the hovercraft to Blagagnga on the ground. The former smiled, and pressed a button on the control panel for the hovercraft. The Blagagna laying dead on the floor split in half, revealing intricate gears and whatnot within.
"Classic evil villain cliche'." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, sighing. "The heroes just defeat a robot."
"You're supposed to be an idiot!" cried Jim, still distraught over having only disabled a robot.
The hovercraft produced some neon green letters, reading "I got better."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed again, as the hovercraft opened fire, shooting what looked more like easter eggs then anything else at our earstwhile heroes.
Jim Drab quickly refitted his slingshot, dodging easter eggs, and fired. Sadly, the stone was intercepted by an easter egg.
"BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ! Use your chicken blaster!" said Jim, dodging a pastel assortment of farm products. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ got out said item, but an egg splattered it, effectively wrecking the mechanism. And then there was dead silence, as the easter eggs stopped flying. Also because the Quickie Death (tm) lasers being fired instead didn't make noise.

[Violet CLM]

Propulsion and Speedy read the thingy again, to make sure they had gotten it right. No - it was indeed a sacrifice situation. "Evil Plan Cliche'..." muttered Speedy.
"Well, there's nothing to be done about it." said Propulsion. "For now, let's just go there. Maybe we'll find someone along the way who will volunteer."
Speedy nodded, and they started off to a corridor until they were interrupted by the guard screaming "LET ME LOOSE!". So they did, in return for that he remain silent about the whole thing, which he actually did.
So they started off to the corridor again, which was by some stroke of luck the right one, and came across a large machine with three tubes, reading "Shoot", "Maim" and "Hurl". There was a long pause.
"I will sacrifice myself." said Speedy, gallantly, stepping foward. Although they had asked politely of everyone they had met on the way here if they would like to end their life to save the planet they had been working to destroy, none had agreed.
"Oh, no you will not!" said Propulsion, shoving him aside. "I shall sacrifice myself!"
"In the negative!" cried Speedy, glaring. "I'm the secondary group leader, and it's always the important people who sacrifice themselves."
Propulsion glared back. "Don't you see, though? You're just falling victim to corporate propaganda! I should go. I'm a minor character no one will miss much. But you - you're a real person!"
Speedy sighed. "Propulsion, let's not go through this again. You DO have a name."
"So? I'm still not important enough to have a last name! Let me go, so you and the rest of the planet may live!"
"You think last names are that important? Look at me. Do I have a last name? Does BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ? Does Tyf? Does Gurgi? Last names just make it confusing, as you may get referred to by your first name or your last name, and people won't recognize them as belonging to the same person!"
Propulsion paused, struck by this new thought, and Speedy rushed foward. However, Propulsion managed to catch him by the collar.
"I'm still going though."
"You most certainly are not!"
"I am too! I know all the lines and stuff! 'Tis a far, far better thing I do -"
"That doesn't matter! I am better suited to sacrifice myself!"
"Oh yeah?"
"YEAH!"
And so began the obvious fistfight, with both rabbits rolling around on the ground, managing to avoid all three deadly input tubes, and not attracting attention of any security cameras.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ hid behind a large protecting object that probably hadn't been there before, and was quickly joined by Jim Drab, who was trying to figure out how to make slingstones laser proof.
"Now what?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, noting a section of wall next to him get burned away.
"We've got to defeat him someway, no matter what the cost!" said Jim, cornily. "Elsewise, he shall destroy the planet, and who knows what else! Not to mention, the death of Mr. Continuity shall go unavenged!"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ nodded. He had heard all this before. "So, let's make a plan."
Jim Drab was silent for a moment, other then when he shifted his position from sitting on one foot to the other, so BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had time to think of something.
"How about this. One of us goes out to draw attention, and the other sneaks up from behind and takes him out."
"Great!" said Jim, perking up. Then, "I shall draw the attention!" he said, gallantly.
"Sounds fine to me." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. Jim gave him a hurt look, but jumped out from behind the concealing object anyway. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ waited a moment, then crawled around the room to the back, and waited for Blagagnga's attention to be entirely diverted.
Jim hopped around, amazingly dodging the super quick laser blasts emitted by the Hovercraft every few fractions of a second, as if he had trained to do this all his life. But his attempts were soon foiled, and a vicious blow got him through the stomach. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, throat lumping without any warning, leaped up towards the hovercraft, but bounced off of a forcefield. Blagagnga turned around, and green neon letters reading "Mwahahaha!" filled the air. The laser turrets aimed at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who was laying on the floor, with not quite enough time to get out of the way.

Frang Frajine, having messed up the Tax records for his family, went looking around for new computers to mess up. Here was an interesting one.. "Easter Hovercraft Power System". Frang erased a few crucial files because the name was weird, then went back to looking.

"And now," read the green neon letters pouring from the hovercraft in an old movie syndrome, "I shall kill you as I killed that fool over there. And this planet shall die!"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ grappled for his backpack of whatsit or other, but it was strapped shut, and he didn't have the time to open it.
With a sardonic smile, Blagagnga lowered his finger to the Fire Laser button.. then noticed a small flashing display reading "Power Shut Down". Then the power shut down, and the hovercraft fell straight down into the void of BoX, who was still sitting in the depression of the floor. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, not staying to figure out what had happened, grabbed the still partially breathing body of Jim Drab and rushed out a sidepassage.

Propulsion and Speedy rolled about on the floor, trading blows and demands to sacrifice themselves instead. Still, they somehow noticed when BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ ran it, with the limp body of Jim Drab in his arms. "What are you doing!?" he cried, angrily. "You're supposed to be shutting down the Planet Destroying Bomb!"
Speedy extricated himself from Propulsion, who began to roll around punching himself, not noticing the absence of opponent. "Well, you see, to shut it down, someone must enter the machine, alive, of their own free will. And we're fighting for the chance to go in."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ frowned, and thought for a bit. "Hmmmm... yeah, I can see your point of view.. hey, wait!" He turned to Jim, who was still alive, though rapidly declining. "Jim! Do you want to save the species named after you as your last, dying action?"
"Is... Blagagnga.... dead?" rapsed Jim, struggling to get out each word.
"As far as I can tell." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, looking down.
Jim Drab's face broke into a smile. "Then.... yes."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ lifted the body of the head of Plotline Hotline, and before he could die on them, threw him into the "Hurl" input tube. There was a brief silence, and then;
"Danger! Danger!" cried a voice based alarm system, heard throughout the 'factory'. "The Planet Destroying Bomb has been compromised! As a result, the factory will self destruct in ten minutes. Do not forget to update your Resume'."
The three looked at eachother, then hurried down the passage to the fork where they had left their travelling companions battling the Nostrils.
They reached the place in very little time, and I'll kindly describe the sight that met their eyes. Six of the seven Nostrils were laying on the ground, apparently dead. The seventh was aiming a very dangerous looking weapon at the good guys, who were all huddled together in a huddle. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ , who had opened his backpack as they ran in case of need, grabbed his blaster and a cartridge of Freezer ammo, and shot the Nostril dead on. It froze in mid aim, and after all the congratulating and what not were done, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ directed the construction of a cart to carry the frozen body on. All in all, to spare you the fast running scene you've seen a zillion times in movies, they all made it out of the 'factory' one second before it caved in on itself. The BoX had already left in the postal van, so everyone worth worrying about was taken care of. Panting, 'Ares' turned to BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "What do you want with that Nostril, anyway?"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ smiled. "Once we get home, if the 'Tavern gets rebuilt, we'll need something for Cannibal Feud, right?"

The King was sitting in his chair, playing a nice, leisurely game of Three Dimensional chess, when a messenger burst in. "Your highness! The Gods and their followers have returned, victorious!"
The King quickly rose from his chair, and ran out, not waiting to take his turn. The opponent sat in his chair, waiting paitently. Of course, King boy had already known of the sucess of the mission, as otherwise the planet would have been so many cosmic particles by now, but it he looked foward to congratulating the heroes nonetheless.
Soon, they met in the Main Chamber. The leader of the Divine Army of Ares appeared to be missing, but other then that, they were just as cool as the first time he had met them in this chamber. And now they had saved the planet.
"You are just as cool as the first time I met you in this chamber." said the King, graciously. "And now you have saved the planet."
"Yes, your majesty." said most of the group, except those who said things like "Yeah.". "But BæÅ- the God of Wisdom did most of the work." said that Zealot.. what was its name? Ah yes, Propulsion.
"None the less, you have all doubtless done great deeds of heroism. And due to the recent increase of money in the treasury, we have sufficient funds to bestow upon each of you a reward.... unless, of course, you need none?" he said, almost hopefully. The treasury had been in a sad state for some time, and to lose the recent surplus....
"Sire, we require no reward, having already the knowledge that you and your people are safe." said the God of Wisdom, looking wise. "But now we must take our leave from your planet. If you are again in times of need, we may return, but for now our task is ended."
And suddenly, they had all vanished, except Patrian, who stood dumbfounded, whispering something on the order of "They WERE gods!"

Back on the Plotline Hotline ship, Propulsion was congratulated for his mass teleportation beam, and everyone strapped down, and they all blasted off of the planet of the Drabians. At last they would return to Carrotus, and the wreckage of the War Tavern. Oh well. Nothing was perfect.

[Violet CLM]

From Mythology 101, by Patrian Patrach:
For those of you who do not believe the tales inside this book, I call to your attention the case not too long ago, when the Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity came to earth. I myself witnessed their courageous deeds as they ended the menace of the Fuzzy Bunny Slippers, with their godly weaponry. They brought with them two gods from another world, proving we are not alone in the cosmos, and three Zealots. Once their task was fufilled, the group left our world, soon before the totally unrelated recession that was most likely caused by the large amount of various Holy Wisdom and Stupidty Artifacts being sold on the open market, but many saw and remembered their short time upon the earthly plain. Even now, Aranselum is a thriving industry of fake plastic God of Stupidty Trout, and various other replicas of the things we saw during their visit. Some wonder if the coming of the Gods was a good thing, as it pre-empted such trouble, but I ask you this. Which would you rather have; a bunch of cool merchandise bringing on a brief economic problem, or the end of the world as we know it?
Still others argue that any true gods would not have allowed such to happen so soon after their coming, but those are disbelievers and should be branded as is done with the cattle, and cast out onto the ground, outcast of all places of settlement.
(For more information on the recession, read "The Storm before the Calm" by Patrian Patrach, or the equally renowned "Atomic Economic Bomb" by the same author.)

From "Plotline Hotline - Plot or Rot?" by Stan Dear:
Important Events and People - Heads of Plotline Hotline - Jim Drab:
Jim Drab, possibly the most well known head of Plotline Hotline to this day, was, from all accounts, a cool man. Indeed, one of the few times he showed temper was when he learned of the Death of Mr. Contunity (see It was the Worst of Times - Continuity goes Patooey), at which point he let loose a short anger in the form of "He must be an accomplice! KOVU MUST DIE!". Thanks go to Mirrow's Portrait, current location Continuity's Realm, for this direct quote.
Jim Drab first became head of Plotline Hotline after being promoted from the lower rank of Shoulder Soldier, wherein he was acclaimed as "most likely to suceed" by his fellows. Jim Drab helped win the war over the evil monster "Claimthuhpaig" (Pronounced Claim the Page) by heroicially firing a laser weapon directly at the heart of Claimthuhpaig, which had previously been believed to be certain death. It was - but for the monster, and not for Jim Drab, who was raised to the higher level of Head of Plotline Hotline, causing many of his friends to win bets with their other friends.
Jim Drab did a good job of running Plotline Hotline, keeping it exciting for all, although at times a little too exciting, such as when they invaded the War Tavern itself. (See Important Events and People - The Big Misunderstanding)
Jim Drab's final acts, from what we can tell from the accounts of witnesses were both vastly heroic. First, he distracted Blagagnga, the murderer of Mr. Continuity long enough for him to be defeated, and he then saved an entire civilized planet as his dying action. The planet in question was later named after him - "Jimdrabia". (See Plotline Hotline's Influence - Planets)
Jim Drab was a good person, and all miss him when they are not too busy doing something else.

From "Lord of the Things: Fellowhip of the Thing", by Photo:
Randalf stirred in surprise, and Airyhorn looked curiously at him. "What is the matter, Randalf?"
"I felt a tremor in the force." said Randalf, cryptically.
Logoless looked across the fire, worried. "As if millions have cried out in anguish?"
"No, it is good news." said the Wizard, blowing a smoke ring. "Soupson has suffered a great loss today. The Nostrils, by what means I know not, are dead."
"PARTY!" screamed Maybe, quickly echoed by Pigeon, so the fellowship danced around the fireside all night, singing.

From "Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back?" by various people:
The Plotline Hotline spaceship sped silently through uncharted regions of space, and charted regions of space, and heavily copyrighted by other companies regions of space, until it reached a probably copyrighted region of space, the one which Carrotus resided in. Along the way, they did not meet up with any difficulty, other then almost crashing into a flowerpot and a hapless sperm whale that were flying through space for some reason....
"I'm bored." said Tyf, leaving no room for argument. Sadly, no one was around, so there wouldn't have been argument even if there was room for it. So she went looking for someone else to burden with her being bored.
The first person Tyf found was Bill Bored, but after learning his name, she hurried away, deciding Bill's problem was of a greater depth. Though hers was not as wide as a castle wall, nor as deep as a well, t'was enough, and did serve to bore her.
Speedy looked up from writing the first entry to his diary (after deciding against calling it a log) as Tyf walked in, looking dejected. "I'm bored." she informed him, leaving no room for argument.
There was a silence.
"You're supposed to help me out of it." she informed him.
Speedy unstuck himself from the wall. "Try not to say simple facts here." he told her, nervously. "The pilot tells me we're passing through the Literal Zone, so when you left no room for argument, there was no room for anything else either, causing me to get stuck to the wall."
Tyf thought about this for a minute, in which time Speedy got tired of waiting and returned to the diary, before saying "Well, let's not talk then." So they didn't.
Not too long afterwards, they left the Literal Zone, and it was open eyes that saw the green and orange planet of Carrotus rising up before the spaceship. This was a kind of unpleasant experiance to all the travellers who were not BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ or Plotline Hotline employees, as it brought back bad memories, but the ship landed smoothly this time.
"We're home!" cried most everyone, though not all using the same wording, except Gurgi, whose home it wasn't.
So the Plotline Hotline peeps went their way, back to the realm of Plotline Hotline, wherever that was, and the 'Taverners set a course for where the Tavern used to be, and Gurgi accidentally wandered into a dimensional warp to the land of Prydain.


"Look!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "The rilly big crater!"
This brought back more bad memories to all of them but BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, as the last time the rest had seen that crater, they were being landed on by the War Tavern.
"Where is everyone?" asked Propulsion, in trepidation. He was right. No creatures were bustling about the crater, though that made sense, as without the War Tavern astride it, there was little no point to bustling about it.
"Doubtless off on a quest to rebuilt the War-" Speedy was beginning, when Ducky hopped up to them, on all fours, eating the grass. The party stared.
"Ducky?" asked Tyf of Ducky, who paid no heed and continued munching low lying plant life. The rest looked at eachother, and followed Ducky, who was hopping off in some other direction. "She seems to have been returned to the state of our anicent ancestors!" said the rabbit with an irish accent, in alarm, meeting with agreement.
Soon, they chanced upon another scary sight. "Look!" cried the rabbit without something to make him different. "There's Dethman's sword, laying in the grass!"
"And BB's backpack and sunglasses!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, worried. "Something terrible must have happened here."
And as they stared around, Ducky hopped off into an oversize burrow.

Kovu and Slayer continued their circular walk through the never changing corridor, with Slayer interrogating Kovu every few minutes.
"Kovu, how long have we been walking in this corridor?"
"Oh, a day or two, I should say."
"Well, why haven't all your servants and whatnot come and found us?"
"Doubtless they can not find the entrance to this hallway."
"But when you pulled me through it, it looked like a normal doorway!"
"Yes, but it sealed itself. Now it's the same type of door as the one out of this hallway."
"Do they have any matches?"
"Possibly."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Their path did not deviate from the original.
"Kovu?"
"Yes?"
"Why aren't we rolling about on the ground in agony from hunger and thirst?"
"All of my evil places are like that. They replenish your food and drink without any manual work on your part. Great for fast paced stories where the author can't be bothered to write about them eating."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"We haven't slept, either. Another feature of your evil place?"
"Not really. I already told you about this one."
"You did? When?"
"Well, let's just say I'd advise not going cold turkey on coffee after this."
"I'm drinking large quanities of coffee without even noticing?"
"More or less."
"Yuck."
"Yeah."
Walking proceeded to happen.
"Kovu?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are we both so calm about this entire thing, anyway?"

[RockyR]

There, i thought something had to come between their leaving and their returning to carrotus. Good thing I waited.

The plants and grass around Baeauman's feet were all chewed to the smallest bit and he felt unpleasant. "How can they have eaten what we step on every day?" he asked concerned. Few of them were actually concerned, especially those who hadn't been mentioned until the past excursion. "I'm still bored," moaned Tyf. "Maybe they all got bored," she questioned. However no one was sure if everyone was around. They only saw ducky and they were unsure otherwise about why things were lying about.
Course of reasoning took them to deciding to see what was in the hole.
"Yeah, this is a rabbit hole," stated Speedy. "Now who's the one stating the obvious," clamored Tyf from behind them. "Unacceptable, I mean a real rabbit hole," returned Speedy. "I would say we are not real rabbits," he ended.
It was a long passage tilting into the ground and badly made. On the way down it split several times into similar tunnels. Underneath the ground it was naturally quiet, however they had expected to hear at least Ducky. They fit into the tunnels relatively well but had to crouch and were getting dirt all over their heads. The simple rabbit was trying not to duck and its head was smeared completely brown by the dirt and seeds and plant matter all over. After a bit the reached the inhabitants, of course the tavern-goers, huddled around like the rabbits they were, some digging, others moving around, but most of them slacking like they always had.
"Eep. They're all here, I guess," exclaimed Speedy, looking around at the overgrown-looking rabbits sprawled about. "Hey what's the deal guys? You call this a new war tavern?"
Little visual response was made to him, and a lot of nose movement was going on. "Do you suppose Kovu did this?" announced Baeauman to the still civilized portion. "No, this is just dumb, Kovu is more towards evil," answered the dirtheaded fellow. Tyf was just not enjoying the situation and decided to enjoy some beer. As the faint smell moved around the large open area several of the former bar flies, who had been unable to travel further into the complex, perked up and shot themselves at tyf's beer can at a strong imapct, shattering it and spreading the beer over the immediate walls. Tyf was shellshocked for the moment.
They were on the dirt walls, back to normal however this was not the word choice that came to anyone's mind. Root beer apparently. Tyf planned on being furious but realized the plot had moved along again. A clear understanding may have arisen.
"Looks like it isn't Kovu," began Baeauman as the wall drinkers were heard talking and were sort of on two feet and more active. "They're just snapped into some weird state of mind," he concluded. The dirt headed fellow was slighted, a bit, because his opinion was earlier ignored, and tyf began to drift towards being bored again. "Will beer restore all of them??" she wondered in spoken word. The consensus was no, it was only these drunks who lived and breathed it. Ducky was looking blankly at them from the side of the room structure.
'Let's try to set her back on her feet," said Speedy. "She can tell us what happened." The irishman of sorts, walked over to her and cuffed her in the side of the head. A badly constructed idea as ducky turned around and kicked him with her two feet, sending him crashing into the side wall and as neccessary, some dirt fell down around him and he had the stars around his head. An embarrasing conclusion in all respects, but Tyf wasn't afraid to try something else. She pulled out one of her guns and shot one right at the usually nimble ducky who unluckily was left with smoke rising off her fur as she ran like a bullet down the back tunnels with everyone else. Tyf was not feeling comfortable, due to the large looming mass of anger she found behind her of a sudden. "Well let's go find them," she said without looking back to see their contorted faces of displeasure.
They hadn't passed much further into the burrow when a second room was found, with more of them. Immediately the rabbits got on their feet and bean to hurry for the exit holes again but Speedy moved quickly and held Ducky down, which was not particularly easy. The rest of the group moved in and helped, but htey were unsure what to do with her. The irish rabbit was jostled about in the mess and a relatively old sandwich found its way out of his pack. Ducky managed to get them all off and began to eat, and then became aware of her situation. Certainly confused she was to see no one but the group of them who had been out in space, last she checked, and for that matter in the cold underground hole with her eyes set on a dirty sandwich.
"Hey, are you guys back so soon?" she questioned. "Yeah, mhm, yes," rushed Baeauman. "What's going on?" he asked her in rapid succession. She collected herself for a moment and realized the problem. "We had no food and we're all procrastinating, but we were hungry out of our minds. Hunger is a powerful emotion, so we started to eat grass and it all went downhill and under the ground from there," was the explanation. It added up and seemed why slightly logical in the progression of things judging by other things these tavern folks had done lately. Throughout her converstaion ducky had managed to eat the sandwich discreetly.
'I suppose more real food might revert the rest of them, but there is an undocumented number of them!" said the irishman. "I'm all out of pocket sandwiches." "The only way to get enough real food back is to get the tavern back! And at that point just the sight of the tavern should remind them where they've spent most every waking moment." argued Baeauman.
"But they're all under the influence." worried Ducky.
"Hey, don't worry, you just come with us and we can do it ourselves!" quickly joined the nondescript dirt one. He was generally concerned that he would be ignored after the last trip.
'We can do it again, really," he prodded. No one discussed disagreeing. They had accomplished something rather out there already, rebuilding something would be easy. "No going to earth!" yelled Speedy. "There must be hardware stores here too, without the intergalactic journey." he reminded.
"So we're going to do it ourselves? Let's hope there's a book," said Ducky. 'Yeah, let's, and let's be off," suggested the irishman.

(Rocky)

[Violet CLM]

So the few 'Taverners who had not resorted to the mindset of more earthian rabbits left the rabbit hole, all crawling except one, who got dirt on his head so he'd have something to distinguish him at last. Ducky had apparently forgotten that she had wanted to go to earth, and Derby was too busy content editing lettuce and other rabbit food to encourage the notion, so they set off along Carrotus in search of something like a hardware store.

The group was walking along, singing whatever came to mind, each drowning out all the others, until someone appeared before them.
"Bob!" cried Ducky, knowing about such things. And indeed, it was Bob, the big Mystical Voice, recently released from the mental hospital for corn juice fanatics.
"BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ!" cried Bob, angrily, drawing out a corn juice blaster that the mental hospital peeps had missed. "I have not forgotten the whacking you gave me when I was employed at FedEX! Now you die!"
But BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wrestled the corn juice blaster from Bob's hand, so they fell to the ground, hitting eachother. "Go on!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, avoiding a blow. "I'll meet you at Bree or somewhere!"
Ducky bounced off, followed by the others, Speedy occasionally looking back to see if one or the other of the contestants had gotten the upper hand yet, or at least the corn juice blaster.

It was not until they had left that BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ realized he was acting in a manner quite contrary to usual, so he reached into his uber-backpack with a free paw, and wrestled loose a Mystical Voice Pulverizer (Or MVP for short) thingie, which he used to temporarily pulverize Bob for long enough so that he might get away. Having gotten slightly muddled during the fight, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ walked off in the wrong direction, after confiscating the corn juice blaster for further inspection when he had the time.
Soon, he came upon a large Food Mart, which he thought might be able to give directions to a hardware store, so he entered through the automatic doors which failed to open when he went up to them, and had to be shoved open using great strength and whatnot.
The first sight inside the Food Mart to meet BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's eye was a large display of Happy Puppy Pickle Co. Pickle Boxes, all with the added bonus of "an inflatable genuine limo' in specially marked boxes, see inside for details, no purchase necessary, do not open unless you've paid for it.
So BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, open to experimentation, bought ten of the boxes, which still was cheaper then buying a limo' normally. After opening the first nine and discarding the contents, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ discovered the inflatable genuine limo' promised, inflated it, and drove off in search of a hardware store.

The rest of the party wasn't having too much luck. A large carrot had fallen across the main road, causing them to take a detour through a paticularly muddy spot, which did nothing to brighten their spirits, which weren't dampened anyway.
Ducky was conversing with the rest of them, having not been on the adventure to the unknown planet (which would later be known as Jimdrabia). "So you're saying you went to Earth, but you didn't pick up any materials for a new War Tavern?"
"Well, yes." said Propulsion, wishing he had a tie to finger. "But even if we had, it wouldn't have done any good, as our ship crashed. We barely got out as it is, not having time to lug anything with us, like Ducky's..... cherry.......... table............."
Propulsion cowered as Ducky glared at him. "You had my Cherry Table with you, and you didn't save it?!"
"Well, erm, yes... but you know, we weren't even anywhere near where it was stored when we had to go.."
"I must have that table back!" said Ducky, a fire in her eyes. "After this is over, we return to that planet!"
The rest did not share Ducky's enthusiasm at all, having really little or no interesting on going back there. Fortunately for them, however, further conversation was cut short as BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ drove up in his shiny new inflated limo', and they all got in and drove off into a conviniently placed sunset.

"You know..." said the irish rabbit, having just thought, "I just thought of something. How are we going to pay for the new War Tavern?"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ turned from the inflated steering wheel, safe because they were on a straightaway. "Well, we have about 3,000. carrotian currency, that the Speedy Scrap Co. Otters paid us for the scrap of the previous War Tavern, including Ducky's...." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wisely stoppped talking, as Ducky was looking less then happy in the back seat.
"There's no way we're going to pay for the entire War Tavern with 3,000.00, though!" said the irish rabbit. "What are we doing out here then?"
"Simple." grinned BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, grinning. "We use this." And he pulled out a small die, half the sides blue, the other half red.
"A chance cube!" gasped Ducky, gasping. "You mean to say you're going to gamble 3,000 carrotian currency into the new War Tavern?"
"Well, uhhh, something like that, yeah."

"Kovu?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm really getting tired of this corridor."
"Such is life."
"Yeah, but still. If we went in the other direction, wouldn't the decor seem kind of different?"
"Possibly."
"Well, let's try that then."
So they turned around, and continued walking, only now the decor seemed kind of different.
"Kovu?"
"What's on your mind now?"
"What's that weird thing?"
"Where?"
Slayer pointed, and Kovu bounded over. "It's the secret door! Slayer, you are a timesaver!"
So Kovu opened it with the match, and they went through, and found the army still waiting to be reviewed.
"Hmmmm...." said Slayer, holding his chin. "Nice weapon placement and eyecandy, but the gameplay looks a little low. I'll give them a 8.0."
"No, you fool!" cried Kovu, thwapping him. "That's not what it means to review the army! We're supposed to look for soldiers out of line and whatnot."
So they did, and the review was moderately sucessful, so they went back (not through the circular hallway) to Kovu's main evil chamber, which had a nice screen thingy showing the progress and current whereabouts of BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Ducky, Propulsion, Speedy, Tyf, the rabbit with dirt on his head, and the irish rabbit.
"They appear to be in an Inflated Limo'." said Slayer, intelligently.
"Yes...." said Kovu, musingly, and turned to the aptly named General Genuflecter. "General Genuflecter, I have determined a course of action."
The general looked up, surprised to see Kovu and Slayer returned after a day or two.
"Launch the Sharp Pin grenade!"

[RockyR]

Rolling and puttering along in the new car they tried to roll down the windows to look for a store. "Oh come on, no inflatable radio" muttered Speedy who was in the front seat after pulling rank on the others. "Hey it's out of a pickle box, Mr. greedy!" injected dejected Baeauman. "And a limousine, you can't even start complaining about that," he professed to Speedy. The thought of this sunk in and Speedy decided it was okay. Not a fast vehicle but comfortable, after all they were basically riding on air. "Why not come try the inflatable hot tub or bowling alley?" yelled Ducky from the second seat aimed to upset. Speedy was hit on target and was rather unhappy.
On the move still, past theaters and movie stores, furniture stores, garden centers, or outdoor restaurants, and apartments, they found themselves in a suburb. "Hey how do we get gas in this?" asked the dirt rabbit. Another stupid inflatable car question, at the expense of Baeauman. In the back seat he had in fact found a complementary warm towel and was washing up when Baeauman stopped him. "Hey, don't do that, we need that!" he shouted, of course in reference to the mud, not the towel. "What about these furniture stores, couldn't we get some things for the Tavern?" questioned Tyf. Baeauman stopped the car.
Watching the screen Kovu and Slayer were delighted at the sight. 'They stopped. Let's do it," suggested Slayer.
"No, we are going to use the chance cube," answered Speedy, back to Tyf. "What, I thought we were going to do that like ten minutes ago?" she groaned. It was true, Speedy had inadvertantly distracted Baeauman with his radio comment. It had all gone downhill from there. "Oh, you. Cmon let's do it and get back!" she exclaimed. "Oh, me," said Speedy to himself possibly. "Let's do it Baeauman."
"Now would be a prime time to shoot the grenade, while they are stopped!" ordered Kovu to General. In haste, General Genuflect approached a small cannon in the room and bent down, not in fact genuflecting but however similar in manner, to the sights and placed the stopped limousine in them. (I certainly missed exactly where kovu and them are but I'm assuming they can hit the ground on carrotus) He certainly fired and the grenade sped towards the pavement.
Baeauman prepared to use his chance cube to rapidly get them a new War Tavern for under ten thousand, however he was cut short by the grenade exploding and the large number of pins only shortly lodging themsleves in the limousine side. They were all shocked by the bang and the further bang of their car busting up all over. "Oh shoot," yelled the irish one. Physics in their world had the typical nasty habit of doing that thing to popped inflatables such as balloons and inner tubes - the car gained a burst of air flowing outward from the back and the whole thing immediately lifted off in a fast, mad spiral with the seven of them clinging to the body. 'I hate this," growled Baeauman, "and I hate Kovu! Hate hate hate!" he yelled. They watched the buildings go from right sight up to upside down in quick successions and flew farther away. When they had left the ground they saw the explosion behind them and knew it was foul play, Baeauman had pointed out the culprit and they were all discouraged. Kovu and Slayer could have stranded them in space but decided to ruin their limo and their get-building-quick scheme instead.
To top things off Baeauman had appropriately yet unfortunately lost control of the chance cube and it lay on the pavement passed over by cars and those sort of things. Kovu had his eye on it and read plans over in his mind of how it could be in his hands quite rapidly. There were a lot of creative options being a villain. However he decided on "Let's just pick it up" for budget and time's sake knowing that once they landed the group could pick up a new limo and reclaim it. "Genuflector, man the cannon once more." detailed Kovu. Genuflector had in fact not moved an inch. "Fire this," he demanded, pointing at one of the foot soldiers. "You're a paratropper now son," said Kovu to the chosen who looked ill at ease until the para part. The soldier strapped on the pack and was packed into the thin cannon shortly. With a bang he was hurtling toward the ground, a bit smoky with no rich hickory flavor at all, but fully concious and ready to do the deed.
His hands were ready to pull the rip cord. "If pieces of luggage and food scraps come out I've had it," prattled the soldier at about one word per three feet. In fact the parachute opened and he floated to the ground immediately picking up the cube.
"Mission succeeded!" he said through the communicator.
Kocu and Slayer didn't need confirmation, watching him on the screen. What things they could do with the chance cube. They had always wanted to do a 'in the wrong hands' villain scheme. However the point came up that the trooper could not be easily recovered. They quickly decided to shoot another outfitted with a nice bungee rope. He was placed into the cannon and fired up and out. He neared the ground very rapidly but realized the rope was too short. Kovu shouted "Throw him the cube!" to the on foot soldier. The ground agent pitched the cube with good form up to the other soldier, ready to snap back to where he came. A good catch too, but an unpleasant reentry backwards jammed into the cannon. The chance cube rattled out of the cannon out of the soldier's hand and was picked up by Kovu with Slayer at side.
"What luck," he said in a finishing tone with a horridly menacing face to look at.

(Rocky)

[BlackSheep]

Little did they know that it had been Kovu all along who had been stealing the Rice Krispies from the pantry.

*Black

[Violet CLM]

Slayer examined the Chance Cube now resting in the paw of Kovu with curiosity. "So now that we've got it, what does it do?"
Kovu looked baffled for a moment. While they had been scheming to aquire it, what a prize it had seemed. But now, it was just another die with three red sides and three blue ones. It was less useful then a penny, really, because with pennies not only can you get a random outcome out of two possible ones, it can also be used to buy things.
".....roll it?" he asked, and dropped it on the floor, whereon it preceded to roll.

The muddy rabbit covered his face in his paws, careful not to brush off any of the mud on accident. He had always hated both heights and merry-go-rounds, and now he was in a flying car going around in circles. "Stop the car, I want to get off!" he quivered, but there was nothing they could do to stop it. Until the air wore out, the car would continue to shoot around the sky madly.
"See, now, if we had an inflatable radio, we could listen to music to calm our nerves!" complained Speedy, as the inflatable limo' was no longer something to be condescending to.
"So true.." said Ducky mournfully, and began humming "My Life" to sooth everyone, with mixed results.
"You would think either the limo' would have run out of air, or we'd have hit something, by now." said Propulsion, as the air ran out, causing them to hit something.
"Yes, you would." said Speedy, intelligently. "Say, what is this we've crashed into?"
"Well..." said Tyf, examining it, "it looks like an enormous needle, stuck into the sky."
"Gee," said the muddy rabbit, sarcastically, "I didn't know it was sick." But the reason for the needle began clear as it started going downwards, though not tilting to the side and falling over or anything.
"ULTRA NURSE(tm and patent pending)!" cried the irish rabbit, a regular suscriber to her comic. "You and your spiffy extend-o-needle have saved us from running out of air and falling to the ground in a sickening splat!"
"Yes, tis I." said ULTRA NURSE, shrinking the needle enough that it jumped back into her weird outfit. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I left Cutey Pie battling ULTRA-PATIENT all alone, and it could be dangerous."
And with a flurry of bandages, she was gone, leaving the travellers to climb out of the wrecked Limo'.
"Well.. now what do we do?" asked Ducky, avoiding a small patch of mud. "Do we get another one, or continue the search for the hardware store on foot?"
"Let's continue on foot, but get another one if the oppurtunity presents itself." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, quite fairly. So they continued on foot, planning to get another inflatable limo' if the oppurtunity would kindly present itself.

"Your Kovuness!" cried Major Annoyance, from a readout reading what he was about to say, "Reliable sources show that there is a hardware store very close to the travellers you seek to divert!"
Kovu turned to the Major Annoyance, enraged. "Well, what are you waiting for? We must distract them, and what is better suited to that job then the Pickle Barrage(tm and patent depending)!?"
"Yes sir." said Annoyance, and pressed a button on a nearby thingy, which activated the before spoken of distracter.
Kovu and Slayer went over to a large wide screen color TV showing the hardware store seekers, so that they might see the effects.
Soon, a large bomber plane flew overhead, blocking out the sun, and opened the cargo hatch. Hundreds of Pickles, Thousands of Pickles, Millions and Billions and Trillions of Pickles fell down from the plane upon the startled group, who promptly began slipping and sliding all over the place, until they all slid right into the open door of "Mom and Pop's Hardware Store", which was oddly free of pickles on the inside.
"Curses!" intoned Kovu, then glared at Slayer for not following suit. "Again my plans to hinder them fail!"
"Maybe it's an omen." said Slayer, brightly, following Kovu pacing around the room. "It means that you are forever destined to be defeated by them."
"What? Never!" cried Kovu, whirling around. "Enough of these minor weapons! I want my entire eViL aRmY(tm and whatnot) down there and destroying that hardware store negative three hours from now!"
"Gee...." said Slayer, mulling this over in his head, and landing on the last bit. "You sure ask a lot from your soldiers."

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked around him, dazed. They had been walking along, and everything had gone dark, and now they were inside.. a hardware store! Deciding the end justified the means, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sprang to his feet, and began looking for bargains.
Ducky painfully got to her feet. She had slid into a hard buzz saw, and her head hurt. Say, where were they, that there were buzz saws to slide into, anyway? Hmmm... boards, drills, nails, more boards.. it certainly looked like a hardware store. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was rooting around in a box of nails, probably to find bent ones (which usually went cheaper), but the rest were still getting their bearings.
Extricating herself from a corner, Ducky began exploring the store.
It had all the appearance of an ordinary hardware store, and if you've never been to one, I'm not about to start describing it. Indeed, there was even someone behind the counter, polishing a thumbtack with horse liniment.
"Excuse me.." said Ducky to the someone, who turned his head from the thumbtack to her, "what place is this?"
"This is Mom and Pop's hardware store." said the someone, reasonably jovially. "And I'm Pop. But all my friends call me.." he paused, as if searching his memory. "..Horace van Deloris van Carthorris van Strwawtz, van Pygmy van Ziggy van Chickadee van Grouch."
"Can I just call you Pop?" asked Ducky, after thinking for a moment.
"Sure." laughed Pop, still jovial. "I'd much appreciate it if you do, as I get annoyed every time they call me that other name."
"Oh...." said Ducky, kind of confused. "Anyway, we came here with a reason. How much would it cost to buy enough materials to reconstruct a Tavern of War?"
"Hmmmm.... not a common request.. gimme a moment to make an estimate." So Ducky stood there, waiting, and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ scavenged around, and the rest of the group kind of stood there, talking, and doing their best not to trip on anything.
"Ah, ok." said Pop, returning from behind the counter, as he had left it without mention. "It should take about 3,000 Carrrotian Currency."
"Really?" said Ducky, bouncing a bit. "That's just what we have!"
"Wait.." said Pop, furrowing his brow. "That's not right. I left out a digit. It should take about 30,000 Carrotian Currency."
Ducky's face fell, but then a rain of phaser bullets flew through the door, and that conversation was forgotten.

Bleh.. sudden mental block.

[RockyR]

Following suit, the shots rained all through the aisles, the shock of which caused Baeauman to drop his nails everywhere and rejoin the rest of them, who were unfortunately all spreading out and running for cover. He met up with Ducky in the two by four aisle as boards tilted everywhere. "It's Kovu's eViL aRmY, trademark. He must really want us stopped." he said to her in a hurried way. "Or maybe dead," worried Ducky. However it appeared to them, as true as it was, that the army was shooting at the store, not their selves.
Pop naturally was out of his mind rushing all over and trying to put things together. The eViL aRmY was entering the store row by row, taking their time as there was no clear defensinve problems awaiting them. Boards and machinery were on fire all over and the sprinklers from the high and unceilinged roof had been turned on. Pop was near the brush trimmers, which were creating a large fire, so he ran to Ducky and Baeauman to sort things out while the rest of them hid. "What is honestly going on, you two? The whole place is already in ruins," he yelled at them. His stood dirtied and slightly wet before them looking very disorderly and worhty of shame. "Well this is Kovu's eViL aRmY, in fact, who have apparently come to destroy your store as a general mishap for the lot of us." answered Baeauman, Ducky consenting alongside him. "We need to rebuild our tavern, that's where we've lived for years somehow. Also it's a good plot device. As a villain Kovu is hellbent on stopping us with his what you might call array of tricks." concluded Baeauman.
"Would you mind stopping them?" Pop asked them as they began to move down the aisle, as the eViL aRmY was advancing and may have hit them accidently. "Only if you give us the materials for the three thousand," determined Baeauman. Ducky looked apalled, but understood. Pop also looked apalled. And for the record so did Kovu, upon hearing this, and decided to advance the operation.
"That is a dirty negociation, buster, but anything to save my store. Not that I think you can do that yet," discussed Pop, "but you seem convincing." Baeauman was happy for the moment and extracted his CHICKEN gun. Tyf caught this as she moved past the aisle and knew what was going on. She pulled out two fast automatic guns, and as necessary, the reaction continued with Speedy's range laser and all that trash. "If this worked against Blagagnga and his army, it should work here," explained Baeauman, and he braced himself and fired a huge 'chicken' blast the rammifications of which he didn't remember, until the nails and workbench filler shot past him. The eViL aRmY was recieving their new plan for faster destruction when the side of them was hit with the blast. Not wearing armor and being evil it did little, but the items from inside the store were uncomfortable. Speedy began to shoot at them but the majority of the eViL aRmY was now ordered to take the lot of them out, now that they were getting 'rambunctious'. Kovu had meant to have them use explosives now, but shifted his battle plan now that Baeauman and the others initiated a fight sequence.
One of the soldiers had been nailed with in fact a petroleum tank, which Slayer noticed as Kovu had a good laugh over the powerful eViL aRmY. "There must be more," pointed out Slayer, pointing at the tank. Simple enough, decided Kovu.
"You have anything indestructible in here?" asked the dirty bunny, in hopes of a shield. "No, all highly flammible, actually," answered Pop. What a downer. The aRmY as it would seem advanced now quickly past them and into the store shooting everywhere and knocking over whole shelves full of hardware. Pop moaned and groaned due to his intense discomfort and discouragement at his store being ruined. Soon enough that didn't matter, because the eViL aRmY had found the petroleum tanks and gas stores in the back. They were running out in their respective droves. They had set grenades, mines, time bombs, dynamite, further gasoline cans, and round cartoon bombs around the site and wanted not to stick around. "Eeep" voiced Ducky as she saw the array arrangement behind her. Pop should have passed out cold but what additional issues that would have caused. They ran out of the store shocked and distressed on many levels as the single level of store was ready to blow. "Looks like we made it out in time," said the irish one.
This was all true, and they may have made it out exactly just in time, but we'll leave that up to mr. next writer.

(Rocky)
Stuff is good

[Violet CLM]

"You didn't stop them!" Pop was screaming, tearing his hair and throwing it at them. "What Mom will say, after she gets back from shopping for ultra indestructible shielding materials that double as explosive deactivators, I don't know!"
"Ultra indestructible shielding materials... that double as explosive deactivators?" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, slowly. "I have some of those in my backpack.." he was beginning, when he realized that they were exactly what they could have used. So did Pop, apparently, as he started beating on BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ with both fists, all joviality forgotten in the face of disaster.
"Hey, guys, look." said Tyf, pointing at the store. "I think it's about to blow." she added, as the store blew up. Pop burst into tears and fell sobbing to the ground, while the 'Taverners surveyed the wreckage with distaste. Sadly, the eViL aRmY had apparently gotten out of the store through the back exit, as they seemed relatively intact in their numbers, and were heading towards the group.
"This isn't good." observed Speedy.
"True." said the muddy rabbit, shaking his head. "Shall we run?"
"By all means."
"After you."
And so they all ran away from the eViL aRmY, who were still in the process of heading towards the group.
After a little while, the 'Taverners (and Pop) came to a large rocky cliff face, which extended far in every direction, with a tunnel etched out in it.
"Let's go in the tunnel." said Propulsion, wisely, so they did. Unfortunately, after not too long, the tunnel ended abruptly, and the eViL aRmY had caught them.
"This tunnel is narrow enough, I think we can make a stand." said Speedy, in a tone that oozed courage. So they got into their positions, with their weapons that hadn't quite worked before, except Pop, who was huddled mournfully in a corner.
"Fire one!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and the weapons all fired with a resounding "Boop". An exploding chicken got a lead soldier in the face, and he fell over from the impact. The soldiers behind him tripped over his prostrate body, which was then repeated with the soldiers behind, until the entire army was tipped over like dominos.
The magnetic pulse gun began firing reverse pulses, and all the metal equipment of the eViL aRmY started straining to get off with enough force that some of the soldiers were lifted up into the air, which sadly allowed the soldiers that had previously been underneath them to get up.
The automatic weaponry had much less effect, as Kovu had equipped his troops with something that made it have much less effect, for some reason.
"Fire two!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. More chickens and magnetic pulses fired, and the army got a bit immobilized.
"This is ridiculous!" cried one of the commanding officers, deciding it was ridiculous. "This small band can not possibly defeat us! On with the gas masks!"
And so, the army suddenly had gas masks upon their faces, due to some scientific method undoubtedly, and the tunnel was filled with gas. The next thing the 'Taverners (not to mention Pop) knew was being lined up against a wall, with the entire army pointing various weapons at them.
"Ready, aim..." the commanding officer who had ordered the gas masking was beginning, when a message from Kovu came into the ears of all the soldiers. "No, you fools! Don't kill them! Can you not imagine what consequences that would have to the plot? Stun them, and put them in jail somewhere, and try not to leave all the tools they need to escape laying next to them!"
"Yes sir." said the commanding officer, and there was a loud click as all the weapons switched to "Stun."
"Ready...." began the commanding officer.
"Well, I guess we're pretty much done for now.." said Tyf, sadly, looking at the large array of personel waiting to shoot at them.
"Yeah..." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after thinking about it. "There is one thing that could save us, but we have no way of getting it to happen.. even if it weren't so incredibly unlikely."
"Aim....."
"There's a way of getting out of this situation?" asked Speedy, perking up. "Tell it! We're extremely resourceful, you know."
"Well, ok." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "It's almost impossible, though. It would require, due to a flaw in the laws of physics, a quantum wormhole appearing out of nowhere, and all the eViL aRmY being sucked into it to somewhere where they can't do any harm, before they can shoot us.
"Yeah.." said the irish rabbit, losing hope again, "I see your point. That is pretty impossible."
"FIRE!" cried the commanding officer, just as due to a flaw in the laws of physics, a quantum wormhole appeared out of nowhere, sucked the entire eViL aRmY into it to somewhere where they couldn't do any harm, before the 'Taverners (and Pop) could be shot. Everyone looked at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ accusingly, who decided against commenting on the situation.

"This can not be!" cried Kovu, in a pit of passion, throwing a Vase at the viewscreen which had shown him the utter defeat of the entire eViL aRmY (tm and patent defending to the death). "All my plans for taking over the world are, as previous stated, null of void! All I have left is an array of weird weapons, a eViL PiKe (tm and patent blah blah blah. You're not really reading this, are you?), a few highish ranking officers and a former bartender!"
"It could be worse." said Slayer, from a easychair, where he was sitting. He had never been entirely convinced he was doing the right thing, so he wasn't sure if he was glad or unhappy that the eViL aRmY (you know the drill) had been defeated. "At least you still have all those weird weapons, and.."
"Shut up." said Kovu, moodily. "I must ponder our tactical situation and determine how best to destroy this attempt to recreate the War Tavern!"
"But I was only.."
"Shut up."
"Because, you see.."
"Shut up."
"I was thinking.."
"Shut up!"
"that maybe you could.."
"Be quiet!!"
"usethatfakecheappricedhardwarestorebdecoyboobytrap Icreatedespeciallyforthispurpose?" Slayer finished, all in a rush, so as not to be interrupted again. But evidently the message had gotten through, as Kovu had stopped pacing, and was standing there with an evil look in his eye. "Yes! That's it! General Genuflector?"
"Sir."
"Utilize the fake cheap priced hardware store decoy booby trap!"

Even though he had been saved from being shot and sent to jail by a flaw in the laws of physics, Pop still remained cold and ungracious to the 'Taverners, and even went so far as to not thank BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ for having salvaged a single bent nail from his hardware store. So it was, that when the party stopped for the night, Pop made BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and Ducky (as it was fixed in his mind it was all their fault) go out and scout around before they went to bed. Being condescending sorts, they did.
"Hey, look Ducky, what's that off in the distance?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after they had scouted around a bit.
"Hmmm... hard to say." she said, after looking in the direction indicated, which was fortunately the direction BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had seen the something off in the distance. "Want to investigate?"
"Sure, why not.." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so they set off in the previously indicated direction, to find that the thingy off in the distance was a large hardware store.
"Look!" said Ducky, surprised. "It's even bigger then Pop's!"
"And cheaper prices!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, not quite knowing how he knew this. "They might even have bent nails for a third of the price!"
Ducky sighed. "Well, let's just see if we can get a War Tavern for 3,000 or less." she said, so they went up to the door, which had a sign attached to it.
"Closed - owner went to join Kovu's eViL aRmY" read BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, then made sure he had gotten it right. "Come on, Ducky, after all the trouble they gave us, surely we can just take a few materials.."
"It's still dishonest." said Ducky, resolutely. "We're buying those materials, whether you like it or not."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed, and looked around. "What's that ad on the window?" he asked, so they went and read that sign, as well.
"This month's bargain: Enough materials and of the right type to built a Tavern of War, only 3,000 Carrotian Currency!"
The two looked at eachother, and decided not to belabor the point. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ found the money, and left it on the counter, while Ducky gathered the materials.
Needless to say, all the others were reasonably overjoyed upon discovery, except Pop, though he grew quiet when he heard about the bigger and better hardware store.

"So........" said Kovu, looking from the viewscreen to Slayer, who was at a different one. "When does the booby trap start?"
"Never, from the looks of things.." he muttered. "That wasn't my booby trap hardware store they found."
Kovu stared, fear that the booby trap wouldn't work turning to anger, anger at Slayer turning to Hate, Hate leading to the dark side.. and then his eyes turned redder then usual, and he was wearing a dark cloak, and there was a red lifesaver in his hand. After discarding the fruity candy, Kovu grabbed up his eViL PiKe, which had somehow turned into a red lightsaber, instead, and jumped out a window, to somehow land nearby the 'Taverners. But not Pop, as he had ran away a little while ago, taking the single bent nail with him.
"Kovu! Wait! What are you doing?" cried Slayer's voice. Apparently, Slayer had also jumped out the window, to land by Kovu.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" snapped Kovu, glaring at Slayer. "I'm going to Wipe them out. All of them."
"You can't do that!" gasped Slayer, drawing back. "I'm sure it's heavily copyrighted by someone else!"
"Well, that's just too bad!" cried Kovu, and ignited the lightsaber. With a "Mwahahahaha!", he began running with short hops towards the encampment of the 'Taverners. Slayer, after consulting his book of "what to do in a crisis", ran after him, afraid someone might get hurt from all this, and that it wouldn't be the pile of construction materials that miraculously had only cost 3,000 Carrotian Currency.

[RockyR]

"Hey, it's Kovu," exclaimed the irish rabbit rather worried. 'In the flesh' in fact," he growled at them moving forwards. They were quite surprised to see such desperation instead of his launching a further unusual attack scheme. And Slayer too. "Why the star wars thing? It won't do that much good." wondered Baeauman.
"Maybe unknown rabbit saw star wars recently," rationalized Ducky. "Who's unknown rabbit?" said Baeauman back. 'What, you expect me to know?" she replied, feeling overestimated.
Speedy made the move and fired a wide beam at Kovu but as necessary Kovu blocked it. Kovu swung at Speedy nearly hitting but only making the clever noise. They moved back past a few of the others fighting all the way drawing up dust and smoke around them. At this moment of course Kovu realized he was about surrounded and so did Slayer.
Slayer jumped right into the group ready to attack Kovu and locked Kovu around the neck. Slayer's copy of "What to do in a crisis" lay far back on the ground but a good job was still being done. "Not a good idea! Come back up with me and we'll scheme, not get killed. Not today!" recited Slayer. Kovu was dragged back towards reentry by Slayer but firmly resisted. "NO! Release me. I am not yours to control. Let me destroy them, they wouldn't soon lay a hand on myself and the power of my eViL pIkE!" yelled Kovu. Slayer maced him and Kovu was left being dragged through the dirt and rubbing his eyes.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Baeauman. "Yeah really, to have the mr. big villian just attack like that is not comfortable!" said relieved Tyf. They began to put away their weapons. Slayer threw Kovu back to where he belonged. However the "What to do in a crisis" had been picked up and was under the gaze of Slayer's fleeting and dashing, quite anxious eyes. Kovu couldn't finish the few taverners even in such a rage. A rotten move. He could do it, however. His adversaries had recieved what he and Kovu were preventing them from aquiring, in fact without a limousine and without being thwarted by even the eViL aRmY. Goodness sakes. He had to attack, but was now the time? And what if Kovu jumped back down. .
Meanwhile, being quick, or at least not slow, the tavern group had begun to haul away their supplies in the direction of home. Slayer's eyes turned to this and were unhappy eyes. The smiling irish eyes of the irish rabbit were looking at the supplies satisfiedly knowing that it wasn't too hard of a journey to get tavern supplies even with Kovu on thier backs. Soon after Slayer's eyes, as he walked casually down the street under the street lights met the words 'Doubles as incindiery explosive' on the book binding. How he was ever so unsure but what a wonderful finding. The book would likely burn, he thought, but if the tavern supplies burnt too, where was the crisis? Averted. And his other hardware store was still in existance. It was worth it, and he could buy a new one, or even steal Kovu's hardback one. They had gotten ahead of his again as he thought, so he picked up the pace until he was a good throw away from them. He pitched the book into the middle of the walking group.
"It's slayer's book," stated Propulsion. Badly timed. "Say what?" asked Speedy. "Woah you're still here," he smiled. A few of them looked at the book for a few seconds as Propulsion explained he had been chewing a large piece of gum with padding, to diminish chewing sound. The time spent idling was too much and the book blew up all over them. The dirt headed rabbit now had charred hair all over his head and Speedy had the classic one strand of hair burning like a match. Slayer was ecstatic. And the supplies were burning all over, bent nails and all.
Then slayer broke down however trying to keep his distress secret, the group had parked their feet in front of the fire station. Had he been crying his tears would have put out the fire. A small slip from the book floated to his bent knees about a subscription to their magazine, crisis management monthy. He brushed it away. Lights went on in the fire house and the hose was draped out the window, in fact hooked up to the sink. In a few minutes the supplies and burning fur was put out and a little smoke hung in the air. "Thanks so much!" yelled Ducky to the fire staffers upstairs. Baeauman looked twitchy. "Hey, did they call this Convenient Fire House??" he laughed and winked successively. They turned the hose back on him for a moment as if to say no. The irish bunny took a look at Slayer and enjoyed a moment of fun.
Slayer in his manic fit of distress had picked the magazine slip back up and saw one of the covers. "Yes, I am out of tricks, and probably won't be reaccepted by my coworker in evil!" he said to the slip. "Put a mine between third and home" was the tactic to be described. Slayer couldn't read the magazine naturally but knew he had to regroup, himself, and attack them some time later before they got to the tavern site.

(Rocky)

[BlackSheep]

Kovu unwrapped his Rice Krispies Treats from it's wrapper, which it stuck stubbornly to. As Slayer approached him, toting an empty blue cereal box, Kove shoved the entire bar into his mouth and grinned, lips tight together.

[Violet CLM]

Speedy walked along merrily, not noticing his hair still burning like a match because the fire station employees had missed it with their hose stuff. It was his turn to walk ahead and warn of any possible traps set by Kovu and/or Slayer, while the rest lugged along the slightly sodden War Tavern building materials. The 'Tavern's former resting place was not too far off, now, assuming they hadn't been warped to some other part of Carrotus while they weren't paying any attention, and that was unlikely.
"Look!" cried Speedy, pointing ahead. "Tabletop Mesa, the friendly neighborhood redundant landmark!"
"So it is." said Ducky, looking up from the bag of nails and hammers and screwdrivers and stuff like that. "That must mean.. we're travelling in the right direction."
"Hmmm, yeah.." said Speedy, tilting his head on one side to look like he was thinking. "I mean, was there any doubt?"
"Hurry up, you're blocking the procession!" cried the muddy rabbit with charred hair, and Speedy began walking again, leaving the others room to walk.
"So, uh, how much further is it?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who hadn't been on the Outing, and thus didn't have a good idea of how the land laid.
"It should be on the other side of the Mesa." said Propulsion, groaning under the weight of a dangerously stacked pile of boards. "We've rounded second and third, and home is just around the corner."
"The crowd is going wild." added Speedy, then broke into a stride. "Come on! Dark is approaching, and we want to arrive before nightfall."
This was true, so the ones who were ladened with burdens tried to increase their gait, with mixed sucess.
Soon, they had reached the foot of the Mesa. "Shall we go around, or climb it?" asked the irish rabbit, judging the distance with a yo-yo.
"Around." said Ducky, decidedly. "I'm not going up a Mesa side with a bag of metal objects."
There was general agreement, so they began to go around the mesa. They had not gotten very far, however, when a large rumbling sound was heard.
"What's that?" asked Tyf, in alarm.
"A large rumbling sound!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wisely, recieving a glare for his troubles.
Speedy pointed upward, in the general direction of the source of the rumbling sound. A landslide had started, and a figure was standing on top of the mesa looking evil, though they couldn't make out his/her/its features from down below.
"The landslide is coming right at us." said the irish rabbit, wisely. "Quick BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, your backpack!"
"The stupid thing is stuck." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after fumbling for a moment. "Our best bet is to run away."
"I can't run with this stuff!" said Tyf, who was carrying all the beer taps, as well as two chairs, on her back.
"Carry what you can, leave the rest!" cried Speedy, grabbing a stack of boards from off of Propulsion, and running.
This was the general practice, and they managed to save about half of the materials before the rest were crushed by the landslide.
"Slow landslide." commented Propulsion, as the flame on Speedy's hair got down to his head, causing him to yelp.

From above, Slayer grinned in triumph. Once he had gotten over his inner struggle on which side to take, and purchased a large detonator from a convinience store, everything had been easy. Now those 'Taverners would have to find a hardware store again, and maybe this time they would find his booby trapped one..
Suddenly, Kovu's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Slayer! I have just recovered from the mace you whacked me with, and my view screens show me half the 'Tavern materials have been destroyed by a landslide!"
"Yes." said Slayer, after making sure it was just on the radio, and that Slayer had not appeared next to him. "I slowed them down quite handily."
"Well, if you still want to slow them down, why did you stop me from wrecking sithly harm upon them?"
"Kovu.." said Slayer, then sighed. "In your raging state, you could not have destroyed them so much as have been defeated, and probably tied up. What would be the point of that?"
"I find your lack of faith.... disturbing." said Kovu, and laughed "Mwahahahaha!". Slayer crumpled to the ground as the radio inside his ear that Kovu had installed in all his evil minions exploded.

"Well," sighed Ducky, "there's nothing to be done about it. We have to go buy half the materials needed for the War Tavern, for the low, low price of 0 Carrotian Currency."
"We could get jobs.." suggested Speedy, which was considered by the rest.
"First," said Ducky, "we should find the price for half the materials. That way, we know how much to work for, or whatever other method of getting more money we may think of."
"Right." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, then shouldered some building stuff. "I think that cheap hardware store was this way."
So they went this way, as opposed to that way, while grammatically correct, is not entirely accurate.
"There's the hardware store!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, upon spotting the hardware store. This time, however, it was lighted up, and there was a large sign in the window reading "UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT".
"Well, as long as it's still a hardware store." said Ducky, and the others agreed, so they went inside, causing a little bell to ring.
"Can I help yuh-" the man behind the counter was beginning, when he noticed who they were. "YOU again! Well, you're not getting in this store! I've had enough wreckage and destruction of my work to last a lifetime!"
The 'Taverners recoiled from the wrath of Pop, who had apparently taken this store over, and exited quickly.
"Now what?" asked Tyf, after being yelled at to "And STAY out!".
"Look over there!" gasped Propulsion, and they looked over there. Towering over them and everything else for several miles was a gigantic hardware store, promising "The cheapest prices in the world, the friendliest workers, and gairunteed no booby traps OR spelling mistakes!"
"Let's try there." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, matter of factedly, so they entered.

[RockyR]

Kovu watched with light satisfaction as he was certain this hardware store was too good to be true, certainly for his side, and on appearance, for the tavern reforming group. "Have fun," he gestured at the video screen. In his light satisfaction altered mind he called over Genuflector and Annoyance to enjoy the show, however this would occur, Kovu was very unusure how the traps were set up.
The lot of them moved quickly to pace through the aisles to replenish the supplies that were crushed or shattered. Baeauman was deathly afraid such a quality hardware store wouldn't have bent nails . . however a whole aisle subsection was devoted just to this. How unusual but true it was. Boards were a major concern as was more furniture. On the overhead screen Kovu and his subordinate pair waited carefully but were not going to be at ease until someone got snared.
Propulsion was tired of all the work and needed a good rest. His swaying body collided with a set of hammer storage and sent the whole stack falling to the floor. Kovu and the generals gave this a standing ovation until when the dust and noise cleared they found that Propulsion was safe and it was never a trap. A few of the staff members were on their feet ater the accident and cleaned it up in the business time measurement called a jiffy.
Kovu glowered. "That wasn't very impressive. I would have rather attacked them myself." General Genuflector felt similarly trodden on. "What did he actually put nice workers in the store?" he griped. "I would have expected assassin workers, myself," added Major Annoyance. "Taking a look at the ratchets, next thing they know, bam!" he described. They waited, quite distraught, for the onslaught of traps to happen. A very unexpected occurence was in order unfortunately.
As Speedy walked along with Propulsion past towers of mollies and bolts an unpleasant feeling came over Propulsion. "I have felt a strange disturbance in the two by fours," he said interpretively to Speedy. He was not greeted by much. Speedy looked around in fact at the board asile where three of their group remained collecting boards. "Um I may have some Nyquil if you must," replied Speedy after a bit of thought. At that point the wormhole opened and scattered all over the store lay in fact Kovu's, eViL aRmY. It was not hard to miss.
Kovu again realized this was not a trap but was overjoyed. What a disruptive turn of events! The taverners were frozen in their tracks in disbelief. What luck, they worried. What luck indeed however for both parties. This many soldiers were bound to uncover the traps inside the store. "How may we help you?" said a pleasing worker to a few soldiers. "This particular model comes with a set of five bits!" described a further assistant to one of the soldiers, who was actually interested. Then the traps began to go off as the soldiers fumbled around. In only a few minutes hardly any of them had seen one of the taverners and none of these soldiers knew what to do with them. Mousetraps clinched across the store on the soldiers' hands and feet and they waved their appendages rapidly as necessary. Such a disorderly scene drove Kovu into great unhappiness but the leaders nearby took time to wonder what good mousetraps would do. "What was he thinking, tom and jerry?" gnarled Annoyance about Slayer. "That's not what I'm thinking," confirmed Genuflector. The taverners in fact still worked gathering supplies, but slower. They were unfazed by the sudden appearance of the mousetraps and recieved no harrassment by the eViL aRmY. The mousetraps began to detonate, and they had to stop again. Large explosions they were. Kovu was in a fit of rage despite the near equal problem this presented for his enemy. Things were collapsing all about with no time to be picked up and smoke and dust began to fill the store to its unfinished ceiling. "Despicable!' blew off Ducky for it truly was to the poor travelers, having to leave with only a small amount of new supplies. "Exploding buildings are no fun anymore," worried the charred fellow. In fact this store had propane and gas tanks as well and a similar scene followed. "This city is the worst," complained Baeauman. "We've got to get a new vehicle and hit the road," he decided to the group. "A truck or bus I suppose," said the hot cross one. This was a good idea, they agreed. Kovu was on his knees. Although his eViL aRmY was probably not gone and forgotten, he had done a substandard job keeping the War Tavern crew out of line. A new strategy must be drawn out, and his top leaders were ready to assist.

(Rocky)
It's icepack time.

[Ducky]

I pulled out a keg of Vanilla Coke from my pocket.

"Ignore the chaos for <i>one second</i>, please," I said. We cannot think on dry throats."





*doesn't remember who she's with, so refrains from talking about anyone else*

[Violet CLM]

"It seems to me," said Tyf, who had been getting very little attention lately, "that if we carry all this stuff around it's only going to get destroyed. Should we not put it somewhere for safe keeping, then go and find the remaining materials?"
"A good point." condescended BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, stopping to look around. "Not only does this stuff get heavy in time, but you're right about it not being safe. However, where are you going to find a safe place to leave them here, in the grasslands of Carrotus?"
"Disregarding the fact that all of Carrotus is grasslands," said Speedy, "I would say right there." He pointed up at the second towering structure that day, a huge metal building named "Fort Knix".
"Wow." said Propulsion, in appreciation. "That does look fairly safe."
"By all means, then, let us try it." said Ducky, so they advanced, as quickly as possible under three quarters of the materials needed to construct a Tavern of War.
"Halt! Who goes there?" cried a man with a big sombrero, and a curly mustache, guarding the door.
"The sanity group of 'Taverners." said the irish rabbit, importantly, failing to gain awe from the guard. "We come to make a deposit."
"You look leek theeves to me." said the other end of the conversation, peering. "How do I know you won't jeest come een and crack thee safes?"
There was a quick conversation among the 'Taverners, the subject of which being checking if any of them had any certificate of non thievery or something like that. At last, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ stepped foward, holding out a badge importantly.
"Here is my Badge of Honor, given to me by the Powers that Don't Be, Didn't Be, and Never Will Be, for extreme honor in the face of nothing in paticular."
"Badges? I don't want your steenking badges!" cried the irate guard, mustache hurridly jiggling about. "I want your steenking deposeet!"
"If we give you our deposit, will you lock it up safely until we come and collect it?" asked the burnt and muddy rabbit, so that the entire group got a chance to talk this phraragraph.
"Not so fast." said the mexican, by the looks. "No Cash, no Credeet, no Deposeet!"
The group looked blankly at eachother, until the muddy and burnt rabbit decided he understood.
"You won't make the "deposeet" until we give you the cover charge?"
There was an affirmative comment from the guard. The 'Taverners sighed, and began to walk away, but were quickly halted when the honorable Mr. ANTE-TUBBES ran from the building, a nametag reading "Hello, my name is Your Mangager, now bow down and pay tribute" on his shirt. "Wait! Don't go! We need your money!" cried he, grabbing Propulsion's collar. "Did I mention our special offer? Make a deposit of over one hundred pounds and get a 8,000 Carrotian Credits gift certificate at the hardware store of your choice!"
The 'Taverners looked at eachother again.

"Let's start planning." said Kovu, looking at General Genuflector and Major Annoyance with his red eyes. "We need some trap or attack device that will render all the efforts of the 'Taverners from Alpha to Zeta useless and generally uneffectual. Any ideas?"
"We could attack them with your evil army again." said Annoyance, trying to monitor half the viewscreens in the room at once. "Around half of them survived the hardware store explosion, including the commanding officer from a couple posts back."
"No," said Kovu, musingly, "I think we should save the evil army. If all else fails, they can destroy the War Tavern once it is rebuilt, effectively squashing their hopes and dreams."
"Let us try my newly invented trap, Mr. Bunny's PIT O DEATH!" cried General Genuflector, calling up a blueprint. "When the party walks onto this perfectly innocent patch of termite infested wood with "Please stand here and wait" written on it in blood, the wood all comes out from under them and they fall into the spikes below!"
"Too obvious." said Kovu, annoyed. "You two don't help much." he added, going over to the phone, and dialing 555-3V1L.
"Who's he gonna call?" asked General Genuflector, in a whispered conversation with the Major.
"The Dial-a-evil-genius-psychic-hotline" whispered Annoyance in response. "Now shhh."
Kovu stood there as the call was completed as dialed.
"Hello, this is Devan Shell, your evil genius for today. Your problem is that you wish to stop a party of good doers. Solution: Kidnap the female, all the time creating two mega battleships to destroy their planet."
"No thanks." said Kovu. "Got any more?"
"Sure! Create a time machine, using a treasured item of one of the travellers as your power source, and rewrite history so that they were never born."
"Too unoriginal." said Kovu, getting tired of this guy. "This is your last chance."
"Uhhhh.. kidnap their kids, and -"
"They don't have any kids." Kovu hung up, and dialed again.
"Hello, this is Oberon, your moderately evil genius for today. Your problem is that you wish to stop a party of good doers. Solution: Find a wood sprite to make them love eachother, though no two should each love the other one. There will be too many tears and heartfelt confessions for them to continue their progress."
Kovu sighed, and hung up. "Forget that plan. There is only one thing to do now."

"Ok," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, pointing. "There's the place I told you about."
"The place where they pay you completely unexplained large amounts of money for taste testing new flavors of pastry?" asked Propulsion, licking his lips. They had had a lot of hardship on this quest, but it seemed to have a tasty ending.
"That's the one!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so they advanced, and had a good time eating tasty pastry, and a few days later came out with all the money and more they needed to deposit the three quarters of materials they already had, in order to get the gift certificate for the remaining quarter.
"It should be clear sailing from now on!" said Ducky, happily, as the sky darkened.
"Look up there!" gasped Tyf, and they looked. A space pod was descending. Soon, it had landed, and six figures climbed out.
"Kovu!" cried the irish rabbit, in fear.
"Mwahahahaha.. yes, and these are my assistants, Major Annoyance, General Genuflector, the commanding officer from a few posts back, DPCIFQMF and Vampyra Smurferama! You thought the story writers had forgotten about those two, didn't you?"
"Well...... to be perfectly honest, yes." said the irish rabbit, randomly elected spokesman. "But where's your evil army?"
"Err.. we ran into a lot of trouble, and turbulence on the way here." said Kovu, blushing. "The long and short of it is, we lost them all. But we shall not lose you."
And then the costume workers came on, and with a flurry of stuff, they were all wearing white suits with black face masks, and holding long rapiers.
"Have at thee, now!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and the fight began, with parrying and blocking and dodging and all that stuff.
However, in the days it took them to get there, Kovu and his associates had had plenty of time to train with the weapons, while the 'Taverners had spent the last few days eating baked goods, so it was not too long before Kovu's side had unanimously won.
"And now you die!" cried Kovu, but then a voice cried "Hold it right there!" from the left, and everyone turned.
There stood Slayer, with a large suitcase with lots of holes poked in it. "Kovu, your reign of terror has ended. I have come to undo you."
"Slayer, no!" cried Kovu, deciding Slayer must have some powerful weapon in the suitcase. "What has brought about this change of heart in you?"
"Well, after you destroyed my inner radio, I laid on the ground for some time, until some members of the Brotherhood of Evil came upon me, and welcomed me to their club. I had fun in their club, as the only rule was to never open the blue door. But after some time, I got curious, and opened the blue door. There I was tapes of what happened when members of the brotherhood got caught.. I saw extreme tortures, agony, copyright infringement.. it was scary. I vowed to relinquish my evil ways, and after that, the Brotherhood of Evil got rid of me as soon as possible. I went back to where the War Tavern had once been, and do you know what I found there?"
"Nuh... no." said Kovu, drawing back.
"GenEX's formerly evil kittens, now become Good Cats by the powers of Admael. And they are here to undo the hypnotization they put upon you back when this all began.."
With a meow and a snap, the suitcase sprang open, and the GoOd CaTs sprang forth, and fixed their eyes upon Kovu, who was dehypnotized, and back to being a nice guy who rarely said anything but "Hmmmm.".
"Now, as for the rest of you...." began Slayer, looking at the remaining five. Annoyance, Genuflector, and the commanding officer fled to the space pod, and before anyone could stop them, flew off into the sunset.
"For monsters such as the one of Frankenquist, I believe the best solution is a hair of the dog. So, Vampyra, if you would kindly bite the neck of DPCIFQMF there.."
"Why? What's in it for me?" asked the vampire smurf, angrily.
"If you do, I have a nice job lined up for you. And I can tell you, you will not be ignored. No, you will be the center of attention, in fact."
Grumbling, Vampyra bit the neck of DPCIFQMF, who reverted back to Fquist, with all his Admin powers still intact.
"So where's my job?" asked Vampyra Smurferama, glaring at Slayer.

Soon, on Earth, 4045, TDJPSO v2 recieved a large package in the mail, with several interstellar stamps on it. Their were several air holes in the box, and the note read "To who it may concern. Enclosed is the star for your new movie, should you choose to make it, which reader polls show should be a big sucess."
Puzzled, TDJPSO v2 opened the parcel, to reveal a short blue figure, with fangs.

And after everyone had congratulated Slayer on his wisdom, they went to Fort Knix, and made the deposit, and then set off in search of one final hardware store to make good their 8,000 Carrotian Credits gift certificate.

[SketCH]

SketCH entered the scene via a black hole and accidently merged with Genex.
"Ouch, that stings," mumbled SketCH. Not realising what happened, he sat around in space drawing some manga comics. Only when his pencil broke and he found no pencil sharpener did he realise where he was.
"Weird, I wonder where this guy's soul has gone now..." SketCH thought aloud. Noticing he now possesed extraordinary powers, he flew off to join the taverners after getting used to the gift of flight. Of course, he had to take a few hits from obstacles such as meteors and space junk. On the way, he read about who Genex was and was determined to act like him in all possible aspects so the taverners would not notice anything.

[Kovu aka Alec]

Argh, could somebody fill me? I could read through it, but that would take half of my leftover life-span, and nobody wants to see that...

[SketCH]

Well, nobody wants to see you, either.
*hehehe, I'm practicing acting like Genex. Don't take it personally*

[Violet CLM]

Well, here's basically what happened since BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Speedy, Tyf, Propulsion, Gurgi, the rabbit with an irish accent, and the rabbit who would later be known as the muddy rabbit came down to Carrotus in the Plotline Hotline spaceship from the unknown planet which would later be called Jimdrabia.

Gurgi, being a character from another story and thus dangerous to keep around, wandered into an interdimensional warp, putting him back where he belongs. The rest went off to where the War Tavern used to be, where they found that all the other 'Taverners had had their behavior changed to that of terran rabbits, even those who weren't rabbits, such as Batty Buddy. They managed to revive Ducky, however, using a dirty sandwhich, and the group set off in search of a Hardware store to give them materials to rebuild the 'Tavern, armed with 3,000 Carrotian Credits.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ got seperated from the rest when Bob, the mystical voice, tackled him, but soon got loose and aquired an inflatable Limo' from a box of pickles, courtesy of Happy Puppy Pickle Co. He soon found the rest, however, and they drove around.

Kovu, who had been turned evil by GenEX's formerly evil kittens, now good cats from the powers of Admael, was watching this in his evil spaceship or whatever, along with some assistants. He and Slayer had recently gotten out of the circular hallway they had been stranded in to prevent them from trying to destroy the world while the plot was taking place on Jimdrabia. Kovu instructed General Genuflector to launch the Sharp Pin grenade, which punctured the inflatable Limo', which then shot off into the sky and looped around.

It crashed into ULTRA NURSE's extend-o-needle, and plummeted to the ground, safely. ULTRA NURSE then went away, and the 'Taverners continued. But Kovu's bomber planes dropped trillions of pickles on them, causing them all to slip into Mom and Pop's hardware store.

Pop, the only one there, welcomed them, but then Kovu's vast eViL aRmY came and blew up the place. The army then chased the 'Taverners and Pop all over until the good folks got cornered in a chasm, where they were captured. But a flaw in the laws of physics warped the eViL aRmY away, so the 'Taverners got away scot free, causing Kovu and Slayer to deploy the latest trap - Slayer's BOOBY TRAP hardware store.

Ducky and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ went to scout around while the others camped for the night, and came across a hardware store selling all the materials needed for a Tavern of War for only 3,000 Carrotian Credits. Naturally, they took the store up on this, even though the owner was not present.

Kovu, naturally, got mad, as this hardware store they had found was inexplicably NOT Slayer's booby trap hardware store. So he turned into a sith, against Slayer's counseling, and went to confront the 'Taverners directly. But Slayer maced him over the head, and stored Kovu back in the evil spaceship or whatever, but did not follow.

Pop ran away and took over the hardware store, so the 'Taverners set off towards where the War Tavern used to be. However, half the materials were crushed by a landslide triggered by Slayer, so they dejectedly went in search of another hardware store. Kovu got mad at Slayer for doing this without his orders, so he detonated the two way radio inside Slayer's ear, causing Slayer to crumple to the ground.

This time, they actually did come upon the booby trap hardware store. They were just picking out anything when the eViL aRmY appeared out of the physics flaw warp, accidentally activating all the booby traps - exploding mousetraps. That hardware store also exploded, along with around half of the eViL aRmY, but the 'Taverners were now up to three quarters of the required materials, though broke.

They went to Fort Knix, where they planned to store what materials they had until they could get the remaining ones, but they couldn't make a deposit without first paying the cover charge. So BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ led them all to a place where they give you large amounts of money for taste testing pastry. They stayed there for a few days, before getting enough money to make the deposit. But Kovu showed up, along with General Genuflector, two other assistants, Vampyra Smurferama, and the Dutch Pastry Cook in the body of FrankenQuist's Monster. The remaining part of the eViL aRmY had been lost on the way to confront the 'Taverners. So they all fenced a bit, but Kovu's forces won.

Then Slayer showed up. He had been reformed from evil, and had brought along GenEX's formerly evil kittens, now goods cats by the powers of Admael. They dehypnotized Kovu. General Genuflector and the two miscellaneous assistants fled, FrankenQuist's Monster was turned back into Fquist, and Vampyra Smurferama was sent off to the Director Of Jurassic Park Something or Other Version 2, to be the star of a new movie.

The group then went to Fort Knix, and made the deposit, and with the remaining money, went off in search of one final hardware store..

SketCH came out of a black hole, merged with GenEX, who had reformed from his ways, and took control of GenEX's body and mind. He then reverted to GenEX's earlier type of action, and flew off through space to join the 'Taverners, though it would take him a few days to get there.

And Ducky, upon learning of her Cherry Table being left in the wrecked ship that looks like the Millenium Falcon back on Jimdrabia, decided that once the 'Tavern was rebuilt, they should go back to Jimdrabia and rescue the Cherry Table.

[SketCH]

*applause*
I certainly couldn't have done it better.

Before joining up with everybody else, GenEX had to go back to the place where he left all his armor/weapons when he decided to join the tavern. Teleporting to the Storage Dimension, he walked up to the one-eyed hand behind the counter and asked to withdraw.
"Sneerk sneerk," the psycoclops replied, "Okie dokie mister GenEX sir. Right this way please sneerk." He led him to an iron door with the name GenEX engraved upon it. "Sneerk, in here." said the creature. GenEX opened the door and it closed behind him. Finding all his things such as his Radiant Armor(made from the super flexible and tough adamantium), the legendary Dual Sabres, his Omega Shield, the Mach 15 Speed Shoes, the Enchanted Gaunlets, and his favorite baseball cap(without a baseball team name on it). Outfitting himself with all his gear, GenEX then walked over to the door. It was locked. He tried to open it, straining his muscles, but it wouldn't open. Then a strange fog engulfed the room. A familiar prescence of bad vibes could be sensed, with a familiar scent of decay.
"It's You!!" exclaimed GenEX. A pale yellow skeleton with deep black eye sockets appeared in front of him.
"How Are You GenEX!! All Universe Are Belong To Us. You Are On The Way To Destruction." GenEX cocked his head to one side in confusion. "What You Say!!" "There Is No Chance To Survive Me In This Time. Ha Ha Ha Ha..." GenEX was a little bit annoyed with the rotting corpse constantly talking in a raspy voice while his really bad breath engulfed GenEX's face, making his eyes water. "Prepare to die, Necromaster." Then GenEX quickly added, "Die as in rest in peices and never come back!" A bright aurora surrounded him. An aurora of light, giving him power. GenEX could feel it flowing through him, giving him strenght. "Let's do this."

[RockyR]

The Plotline Hotline had been investigating a small plot circumstance moments ago, but then it blinked out of existence.
"Um, let's get back to business," requested a suited employee to the other.
The tavern crew, pleasantly without worry of any more adversary, walked along with Kovu and Slayer who had agreed to help carry materials as well. Tyf was sick of carrying bags and boxes of boards so she bargained to be the cat carrier. The cats were really not helping, any more, but Tyf tried not to make this evident as she had an easier load to lift. "It's really wonderful, now that you're not trying to kill us anymore, Kovu," congratulated Baeauman. "Yes it's a dandy, i'd say," replied Kovu. Slayer picked up a slight problem in the works. "Hey what about the military leaders?" he asked with concern to Kovu. "Oh don't joke, you think they can function without us?" he joshed. They had a good hearty laugh, Slayer spilling a portion of his bent nails. An interesting concept indeed thought Slayer. Bent nails, how well are these going to fit the tavern together?
He considered asking Baeauman about this but worried about his morale. Speedy and Propulsion joint-carried the longest boards down the sidewalk. They took leave into the street freqently to bother the drivers. The traveling companions then passed a bar and felt nostalgic. Kovu hadn't been to the tavern for a while, but of course, neither had any of the others. Tyf forced herself to the counter first beaming until she began to talk to the bartender. Ducky planted herself on the stool next to her. Her materials took up an uncomfortable and inefficiently large amount of space next to her. The other customers were flexible and decided to seat themselves on top of the pile by borrowing some of her chairs.
"Might I ask what all this is?" The question reached Ducky's ear as soon as it waded its way through the mess of other speech. It was the bartender, looking tired but not angry. "This is our building material. The war tavern got destroyed, so we have to rebuild it. It isn't too far away, you must know what it is." described Ducky. The bartender was able to finish pouring a few glasses before the whole discussion reached his ears. He thought and looked ready to reply. "Yeah, it's a vacant space now. ." he began, he must know about it. "We were hoping for a rush of customers from there when it closed like that. I don't know where they all are." he said with opinion. "They're making it an industrial complex now, it's too much land to just let sit there."
This managed to reach each Tavern member rather quickly and they wore similar expressions. No! This would cause serious problems. Who knew how many people depended on the Tavern. The charred rabbit held his head at the thought of the legal proceedings that would follow. "No! No!" he strained.
Kovu looked genuinely evil. Speedy and Propulsion were forced to pace away from him as he eyed the bartender. He lifted his eViL pIkE from his side and pointed it at the bartender. He prepared to speak, but Slayer preempted him. "Hey, it isn't an eViL pIkE any more, is it?" he wondered. Kovu looked at him distracted from his coming speech. He wondered as well. "Um, did I say a thing about it being evil?" said Kovu. Slayer looked defensive and said "No, I was just wondering," "but really..isn't it like a nEuTrAl pIkE now?" he started again. Kovu considered this and made a decision, ready to finish the tangent. "Yes, but let's lose the capitalization on the word 'neutral', it just isn't flashy enough for that," Kovu concluded.
Back and ready to argue with the bartender, Kovu repositioned himself and looked angrier than before. The customers watched as well at the irregular others who had come in packed full of furniture and tools. "No more plot complexities! That was my job." growled Kovu. The bartender was offended but quiet at first. Silence remained over them. "What did you want me to not tell you?" he rebutted. "I didn't set it up!" he yelled. Kovu tossed his head in disgust. Something like this would just foul everything up. It had to be settled quickly for the good of the less fortunate, less aware crowd in their holes, and the other taverners who were having trouble keeping their expressions of disbelief steady. "Phone!" Kovu ordered. The bartender pointed at the wall phone. "Nope, I'm going to be pacing," declined Kovu. Baeauman gave him a cellular phone instead. He dialed the Plotline Hotline rapidly and waited for the reply. He dreaded a long computerized service. Kovu had only a short time to look impatient when he was answered by an employee. "May I be of service to you?" she questioned. Kovu began to speak, as was his custom, and was interjected. "Push 1 to speak with a living assistant. Push 2 for our best in computer assistance,"
"No, just pulling your leg!" she squealed. "Don't push me," groaned Kovu. "We have a plot crisis, our existance of plot is going to be built over by industry. This entire last sequence will be of no use to us! One of the best evil positions I've held to date. The other folks have done a lot of hard work too," said Kovu. Slayer looked at him as if he had wanted a better description. "You have to erase this mess for us otherwise the whole flow will be bent and misshapen," Kovu complained.
At the hotline building, the assistant woman took a moment to assess the job at hand and look at the specifics. She scanned the plot record and then came to a halt and made an immediate decision. "Your request will not be granted! Our records show that you have killed a number of one of our employees, in your past ecscapade." she said firmly. Kovu looked explosive and turned to the others to find words that he could yell at.
"What you killed some guy?" he griped in disbelief. "What are you doing murdering people? That sort of thing has quite a lot of consequences!" he yelled. The tavern members looked sheepish. Ducky was perked up by this. "Hey, and my Cherry Table!" she said in disgust. Her eyes burned with passion the color of the cherry table. In fact the last trip had been rather careless, but so useful, to avenge the loss of a much greater good, Mr. Continuity, and save a planet. That was Jazz-caliber stuff right there. Fortunately the employee was able to monitor this lengthy stop for thought .. but was impatient. "Hey Kovu, sir, if you can change this group's record, we'll be able to do your job. We're sorry you have to represent them, you seem to be angry, but it's policy" she explained. Kovu looked confused, "So you want us to illegally change the record?" he asked for clarification. "No, you'd have to bring Mr. Jim Drab back to life. Which is difficult, but I was just saying." she told him. Kovu had a case of shifty eyes.
A new plan had to be discussed. They had the mind-altered Taverners to regain, the Tavern property to keep to themselves, the Tavern to rebuild, and the rest of the supplies to buy. A death smeared their clean record and splinters of a lost Cherry Table cut Ducky inside. They just had to make a plan before the character limit. Slayer decided to do the honors, after listening to a summary of Kovu's phone call and the ideas of others. "Here we go, we go back to this Jimdrabian area and at least get the Cherry Table. We should try and find out exactly what happened to Jim Drab and see if we can, I guess, bring him back to life," he said succinctly. "This way our record will be okay and we won't have to go back to Jimdrabia later and get Ducky's table. When we get back it will be smooth sailing with the plotline hotline, they can fix everything, and we will have wasted no time!" he said, satisfied.

Rocky

Claiming this page for : Our beloved chip manufacturers

[Violet CLM]

"We may not have to go to Jimdrabia-" began BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. Ducky glared at him, but he continued anyway. "...to learn what happened to Jim. I was there, remember?"
"Well, I assumed you were, but I couldn't be sure." said Speedy, sipping his cup. Now that they had a workable plan, the expressions of disbelief could be removed, and they were.
"As far as I remember, Jim was drawing away the attention of Blagagnga so I could take him out. However, Jim was shot through the stomach by a laser from Blagagnga's hovercraft. I attempted to jump onto the craft, so as to fight him paw to paw, but the hovercraft had a forcefield, and I bounced off. Suddenly, (and I'm not sure why), the hovercraft failed, and the entire thing, Blagagnga included, fell into a conviniently placed void.
"After that happened, I scooped up Jim, and rushed through a hallway to the Shoot/Maim/Hurl machine, where Speedy and Propulsion were battling for the right to sacrifice themselves to save the planet. Jim, as his last dying action, went into the "Hurl" tube, causing the time bomb to stop, and the planet to be saved."
This was all news to Ducky, Kovu, Slayer, and Fquist, who listened with some interest.
"So if the Hurl tube worked properly," said Tyf, "then Jim Drab's lifeless body will have been hurled to.."
"Tubelectric." put in Slayer, wisely. "That's where people always got hurled before. I wouldn't mind going back to Tubelectric, really. Nice tasty ostriches."
"But what about my Cherry Table?" cried Ducky, passionately. "The War Tavern, even if it was rebuilt, would never be the same without it!"
"All of this is in the future, though." said Kovu, after deciding that the Plotline Hotline employee could be of no further use and hanging up the phone. "Before we can go to Tubelectric Or Jimdrabia, we need a spaceship."
"Didn't we have this huge fleet of ships I st- errr, found?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, thoughtfully. "Whatever happened to it?"
"Well, we were going to go to a variety of places.." said Kovu, sitting back down. "But I got ahold of the controls after being all beaten up and we went to Tubelectric."
"But the other ships?" asked the irish rabbit. Although he had not come along that time, he didn't remember hearing about what happened to the rest of the ships on that adventure.
"I think we lost control of them." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "The whole fleet blasted off of Carrotus, but then the main ship that I had built was the only one to reach Tubelectric."
"If only we had one of them now...." said Propulsion, a fire in his eyes. Suddenly, there was a big sound outside. Hurridly, the 'Taverners paid the bartender, and rushed outside to see one of the long errant fleet gracefully touching down outside the bar.
"Clockwork!" cried Ducky, exuberantly, and bounced off towards the spaceship to shake the paw of the fox who was, indeed, emerging from the dim interior.

Soon afterwards, Clockwork having agreed to pilot them to wherever they were going, the party sat in a large spacious room with plush couches, discussing where to go.
"We go to Jimdrabia first." said Ducky, decidedly. "Once there, we can rescue my Cherry Table, and examine the "Hurl" tube to see if it really was aimed towards Tubelectric at all."
"It's always been Tubelectric in the past, though." said Kovu. "I'll admit Mr. Continuity was hurled to Carrotus during The Quest for the Stones, but he had been previously hurled to Tubelectric, so it was a second-hand hurling."
"I want to go to Tubelectric again." said Slayer, licking his lips.
"Try as I might," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, "I can't think of any reason to go to Tubelectric first other then past experiance. And that's not taking into account that all the people hurled to Tubelectric previously were done manually by Blagagnga, and not by some machine. David Orek got taken off of there with us, the ostrich population was mad at us, EAVW was defeated, and we left with the same spaceship we crashed onto Tubelectric with."
"Wait!" said Slayer, brightly. "I left the Warpshield there, and I want it back!"
"And I want my Cherry Table back." said Ducky.
"I know!" cried Fquist, because he not had gotten to talk at all so far. "Let's flip a coin!"
There was general consensus from all but Ducky and Slayer, so a coin was flipped, and it was realized that neither side had called heads Or tails.
"Heads Tubelectric, Tails Jimdrabia." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wisely, and the coin was flipped to Tails. Slayer went somewhere to sulk as the spaceship blasted off.

Jim Drab blinked sleepily and looked around him. The ground was clouds, the background eyecandy was clouds.. indeed, everything was clouds other then the golden temple standing nearby. Having nothing else to do, Jim Drab proceeded towards it. Other people were milling around, but generally moving towards the temple. Jim recognized several of the soldiers of Blagagnga's evil army, not to mention Blagagnga himself. Picking a number from a dispenser, Jim read "384623452387453" sorrowfully. "Now serving number 38462345287334" read the flashing sign astride the temple. Muttering, Jim joined the group of millers, and after a little while, came across a well dressed fox standing still and keeping an eye on everything.
"Excuse me......." said Jim, causing the fox to turn around. "Where am I? I was assured what I was doing as my last action was certain death, and I feel cheated."
"You don't have to worry about that." said the fox, smiling. "Welcome to Heaven. Or, more accurately, the Great Beyond. The sorting process misses a few, so a few bad sorts get up to Heaven. Thus, here in the Great Beyond, various staff members examine previous actions of all newcomers to see whether or not they belong here."
"But why do I need to do this?" asked Jim, looking once more at the "now serving" number, which had not progressed much. "I'm a good guy! It says so in my contract."
"Everyone says that." said the fox, shaking his head. "In case you get to stay, I'm Xavier, by the way."
"Ah." said Jim, then thought it would be more polite to add his name. "The name is Jim. Jim Drab."
"Pleased to meet you. Anyway, don't take this whole waiting bit so hard. At least you're in one piece, other then the hole through your stomach. We have a rather incompetant squad of workers charged with putting dead people back together, mainly because they're the only guys willing to work with such messy stuff. For example, they once put Tiny Tim - he was a turtle whose head exploded -'s head on his foot.. not pretty. Then we learned he had been sorted into the wrong place-you-go-where-you're-dead, so it's the job of the workers at the evil dead place now, anyway."
Jim tried not to show revulsion as Xavier continued. "Not that the jobs they do are always bad. I used to be a mute, for example. Now I recite the entire epic poem of the Odyessy several times a week, just to keep my voice in practice. Want me to demonstrate?"
"Ah huh. But no thanks." Jim hurried, and slowly walked away, trying his best not to seem rude.

Some time later, Clockwork's spaceship landed on Jimdrabia. There had not been too much trouble locating the not-too-long-ago-unknown-planet, oddly enough. You would think planets that had remained unknown for so long would be difficult to find.
Anyway, the 'Taverners left the ship, the ones who hadn't been there before looking around with various measures of curiosity. Clockwork chose to stay behind and write informative letters to people who didn't know what the letters were informing them about.
"It would probably be best if we avoided civilized areas." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, wisely. "I don't have a big desire to go through the whole godly visitors bit again."
"Me neither." said Tyf, so they set off towards the crashed round ship, which they found without too much difficulty. There were large signs around it now, reading what would probably have meant "CAUTION" if they could read the signs. Ignoring them, the 'Taverners made their way up to the ship, where they began looking for a way in. Naturally, the fire had stopped long ago.
"Here's a only half caved in entrance!" cried Speedy, after a little while, and the rest hurried over. Indeed, it was an entrance that was only partly blocked off by fallen pieces of the ship. They cleared away the blockage, and entered the ship, several getting unhappy feelings of Deja Vu.
"Now, where was the Cherry Table stored, anyway?" asked Kovu, looking at Speedy, as he was closest. Speedy shrugged. "Han Soda put it somewhere. But he's dead, and we can't ask Gurgi, as he vanished. Shall we spread out?"
Ducky ascented, so they all spread out, looking for passages that were not too blocked to procede through, so that they might be the first to locate the Cherry Table.

[Ducky]

Um.

I haven't been here for a while, as you know...


but what Happened to Han? and how did we come together at last? And also..where did the choice between the two planets come from?


Speedy kicked at some rubble. A small card fell out. He picked it up and rubbed off the dirt to reveal a shiny surfaec with a horrific head shot of someone.

"Hey!" He said, his voice echoing miserabley. "Hey, guys, I found someone's driver's licence!"

Kovu heard him, but was anxious to find the Table first and so prowled around back out of hearing distance to where some promised shards stuck up from the scraps littering the area. Beau stuck his head up. "I claimed this place to search, <i>rabbit</i>, find your own." Kovu mouthedwordlessly and left briefly. Tempers were indeed wearing thin.

Tyffie, however, bounded to Speedy's side. "ooh, who's that? O.o" she said brightly. "There was a name, but someone scribbled on it with an orange pencil." Speedy informed Tyf, "So I don't know."

Slay snuffled miserabley and shot me nasty glances, so I gave him a Hug(r). (You pervs, the chocolate kind. With almonds.) I remembered a movie where people made out with chocolate kisses and tried to think of something witty to say, but decided this really wasn't the time. Everyone was growing rather peevish and time was growing short. As usual.

[Violet CLM]

Originally posted by Ducky
but what Happened to Han? and how did we come together at last? And also..where did the choice between the two planets come from?

Han Soda was in the front of the big round ship when it crashed front first onto the surface of Jimdrabia, and is presumed deceased.
How they came together.. do you mean the space group and the rest, or Kovu/Slayer/Fquist and the rest? Either way, the answer is (briefly) in that recap I posted a while ago. It's on the previous page..
The choice between the new planets began and ended in the same post, so I don't quite feel like explaining.

[Violet CLM]

Speedy, having abandoned the drivers license (which Ducky pounced upon), wandered through corridors, confident that no realistic spaceship would have so many, and it was merely for the point of dragging out the search. Suddenly, a red glint caught his eye. The cherry table? Cautiously, Speedy advanced around the corner, in case the table had grown tired of being abandonded in this faction, come to life, and decided to conquer the world. If it had, Speedy didn't know about it, as the red glint was from merely from the lever that had been the beginning of the whole crash to Jimdrabnia. Careful not to pull it, in case the self destruct mechanism still worked, Speedy edged past, only to discover a humongous mass of rubble. A hand poked out of it, connected to an arm, which Speedy recognized as that of Han Soda. But he was obviously dead, having been there for so long.
Turning aside, Speedy tramped back through the ship, until he found Ducky and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who had met, and were assisting eachother in removing some debris from a likely passage.
"Hey guys," said Speedy, cordially, "I found the body of Han. Want to dig him out and give him a proper burial? Not that he's not already buried, but some of him is sticking out, which isn't good for afterlifish morale, I should think."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ grunted and turned his head from the task at hand. "Your morals are commendable, Speedy, but your realism is low. Considering the front of the ship was what took the full brunt of the crash, from what you tell me, I should say he's too buried to recover. We could get some more rubble, and bury the bit sticking out, though, if you like."
Ducky brightened. "Yes! That's it." she said, and bounced off with an armload of junk. "Which way, Speedy?"
Speedy pointed, picking up various refuse himself, while BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ grumbled something and returned to moving away the blockage on his own. After a while, he remembered his backpack, but the hall was clear enough by then it wasn't necessary.

Propulsion had come across a nigh-useless sign. It was a complete map of the ship, which seemed to be arranged in a grid like thing. The only other guide was a green spot entitled "You are not here", which was little use.
Wait. Maybe if he reached one of the corners of the grid, he could locate a storage chamber from there, by memorizing the directions to go. Assuming something did't block his path. Propulsion, thinking, found the quickest path from each corner, memorized the directions, and set off in search of a corner. The whole process had taken only ten minutes, a stunning figure which he was not paticularly proud of.
Deciding that the best way to find a corner was to set off in one certain direction and not waver, Propulsion turned himself 360 Degrees Counter-Clockwise, and set off, humming some tune or another.
It was not long before he reached an edge of the grid. There had been some obstructions, but Propulsion had been able to find alternate routes. Now, all he had to do was preform a right angle turn, set off, and he'd be at a corner.
He did this, and reached a corner of the grid. It was only then he had little idea which corner he was in. The paths to the storage chamber required going in different directions from each corner, so unless he could figure out a little more about his bearings, he was only a little better off then beforehand. Propulsion looked around for a sign of some landmark.

"I like torture." said some random lunatic who wasn't at all relevant to the story.

"Hmmmm." said Kovu, in accordance with his character. This was obviously no walk in a hedge maze. You couldn't take out your carefully concealed garden shears and cut a path to an adjoining passage, or climb up onto the wall and take a lookout. This was blind mazing.
Being totally lost, it was no surprise to Kovu, when he, after minutes of painful searching, came across the Cherry Table. It was completely intact, except for a small dent, and stood on top a pedestal so any attempt to view it gave it a very bold appearance. There was dramatic lighting, too.
Smiling in happiness at being the first to find it, Kovu began speaking into the radio. Then he realized that he had detonated Slayer's recieving one while feeling evil. However, though the truth, this was not too bad, as Fquist soon arrived, having also been formerly evil.
"Hi Quist." said Kovu, also in accordance with his character. "You want to help me lug this thing out of here?"
Fquist looked shocked at the thought of such menial labor. So, after some thought, he summoned The Moving Bot!, outdated but still functioning, who moved the Cherry Table, Kovu and Fquist out to Clockwork's still working spaceship, where they planned to bring it in the first place.
After some time, the other 'Taverners gave up (including Propulsion, after finally reaching the storage chamber and finding nothing there), came outside, and glared at Kovu for not telling them he had already found it.

Later, after flying the spaceship over to what was left of the Fuzzy Bunny Slipper factory, and determining that the "Hurl" tube had, indeed pointed to Tubelectric, the spaceship landed on Tubelectric. (The before mentioned stuff, FYI, was paticularly boring, and thus not included)

"Tubelectic!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, looking out at all the abandonded machinery just waiting to be put to use.
"Tubelectric!" said Slayer, instantly searching the ground for his warp shield.
"Tubelectric!" said Ducky, putting her hand above her eyes to filter out the sunlight, and looking for Jim Drab's body.
"It's just another planet.." said Propulsion, moodily, and was responded to with "Shhhh!".
So they set off, in search of Slayer's Warpshield, Jim Drab's body, or a good place to eat.
"So, do we have any plans for bringing him back to life?" asked Tyf, musingly.
"No. I was hoping to ad-lib." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after nobody else said anything. "You know, 'hum-a-few-bars-and-I'll-fake-it kind of thing."
"Great." said the irish rabbit. "It occurs to me now we should have thought of this beforehand. It seems like even after this, we'll have to go on yet another search."
"Well, in the end, we're getting the War Tavern back." said Ducky. "We have the funds, we have the materials, and we have the Cherry Table."
"Yes.." said Slayer, and suddenly tripped, sprawling on the ground. Grumbling, he got up, but the muddy rabbit examined the ground where he had tripped.
"Hey Slay, is this your warp shield?" he asked, holding a small object up.
"Yes!" cried Slayer, grabbing it. "What an incredible stroke of luck!" Then, speaking to the warp shield, he continued before anyone could stop him, "Take us to the body of Jim Drab, wheresoever he might be."
There was a "Spluoinge" noise, and they found themselves in a large blue bubble, travelling at immense speeds in one set direction. They had become intangible, noted BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after the bubble shot through a wall.
"Where are all the buildings?" asked Speedy, curiously. "Where's the places where Jazz went through and all that?"
"I think they're on the other side of Tubelectric," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, consulting a book. "Here it is. Tubelectric is composed of two main sides. The abandonded factory, and the barren land of the Ostrich peeps."
Just as the book went back into the backpack, there was a "Pop", and they fell onto a smooth rock. Next to them lay the still form of Jim Drab, looking really most sincerely dead, right up to the hole through his stomach.
"That's him." said Propulsion, wisely, and they all examined him for any obvious ways of reincarnation until it was decided pointless.
"Let us hold a seance." suggested Ducky. There were no better ideas, so they all sat down in a circle around the dead guy, and dimmed the lights, and recited the magic charm of "Iwudlektubyapitsa" (Pronounced I would like to buy a pizza") three times backwards in another language. After some more holy procedures, some spooky music played, and a spirit from the spirit world appeared above them.
"Well? What is it? You're interrupting my nap." said the spirit, grumpily.
"..sorry." said Tyf, considerately, but most of the rest kept on with the requests and stuff.
"Sir spirit," said Ducky, "we have summoned your aid, so that you might tell us how to bring back to life our friend here. The dead guy with the hole through his stomach."
"I'm glad you told me that, for I would never have guessed otherwise." said the spirit, and burst into raucous laughter that shook a cow in the process of being milked on another planet. "Anyway. Yes, this is possible."
"Oh, good!" said Fquist, speaking because it was sometimes fun to do so. "How?"
"Preform the ritual of Munkisi Munkidu over a fire of only one log, and the person in question shall return to life, though you might want to fix that hole in his chest first."
The 'Taverners, eagerly, began getting up, but the spirit raised a spiritly hand. "Wait! One thing more. The spirit world has a rule - a life for a life. Whosoever should preform the ritual of Munkisi Munkido shall Perish, once it is completed."
As the spirit faded away, Speedy and Propulsion quickly jumped to their feet, and glared at eachother.

[Violet CLM]

"I, having been cheated out of it the last two times, shall sacrifice myself!" cried Speedy selflessly, striking a heroic pose.
"You most certainly shall not!" said Propulsion, pushing him. "I have the same qualifications, and besides! When this is all over, I'll be forgotten, whereas you are an actual person!"
"Propulsion," said Speedy, with the air of someone who had gone through this many times before, "we've got through this many times before. You HAVE a name."
"Yes."
"And you don't have a last name, but few people do."
"Yes."
"So what makes me an actual person, but you not?"
Propulsion stood there, thinking, and it was at this point that BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ chose to intervene.
"Hey guys, wait. I've got a.. fair way of settling this. Battle it out for the right to sacrifice yourself.. in CANNIBAL FEUD! I'll construct a makeshift stage from some of these rocks, and.."
"No, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ." said Tyf, firmly. "Cannibal Feud is a fight to the finish. That plan would make them both die. Besides, even if the loser survived, what's the point of having the stronger one be the one to die?"
"...true." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ admonished, and sat back down, moodily.
"Let's ponder other methods." said Fquist, wisely. "Who else do we know with a deathwish?"
"Sakura." said Ducky, shortly.
"She's dead, though." said Slayer, looking across the body of Jim. "I should know, as Batty and I went off to get her back from Inle' Ra, but didn't suceed."
"Hmmm... and I can't think of anyone else." said Kovu, sadly. "What we need is someone unimportant, who nobunny will miss, but is still enough of a character that the readers won't feel cheated.. a pity we had to take David Orec along with us when we left here before."
"When in doubt.." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, opened his backpack, and retrieved the plothole generating thing. A plothole opened up and hung in the sky. Suddenly, familiar music began to play.

"Itsa me, Mario!" cried a cheerful and/or perky voice, as a fat plumber dressed in red bounded out of the plothole, bounced up and down on the assembled parties' heads, and jumped back through the plothole.
"Hmmm, ok, no good. Next?" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and stood by the plothole, impatiently.
"Hello? Hello? Hmmm, I seem to be loss." said a voice from the plothole, and the Tour Guide stumbled out, instantly recognized by Kovu, along with vice versa.
"Hello, whatever your name is." said the Tour Guide, sitting down. "Who are all these friends of yours? One looks like he's had better times."
Kovu introduced everyone, then whispered to Ducky, who was the main source of compassion. "Should we?"
"It's preferrable to Speedy or Propulsion.." she mused, then "no, it's too cruel. We should only get someone who actually wants to die."
"There must be some better way.." said the rabbit with the irish accent, hastily agreed to by the muddy rabbit, neither of whom had been mentioned recently.



One better way later......



"Wow, I'm sure glad we found a way to resurrect Jim Drab without killing anyone!" said Tyf, happily.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ nodded. He was still kind of unclear on exactly what had happened, so he wasn't feeling like going into any further detail.
"And now that you're alive again, we can get the War Tavern back!" Speedy enthusiastically told Jim. After getting over the pain of not being able to sacrifice himself gallantly for the third time in a row, he had begun to see that it had turned out well after all, and was now quite chipper.
"Uh, yes, glad to be of service.." said Jim, then burst into rage. "BUT DID YOU HAVE TO RESURRECT ME WHEN IT WAS FINALLY MY TURN TO GET IN?"
They stared. None of them had really died before, except Kovu, and that had been too brief to see what The Great Beyond was like. True, the whole universe had blown up once, but all memory of that had been wiped. So they didn't know what he was talking about.
"..Sorry?" said Ducky, and Jim grunted.
"Well, I say we get back to the ship." said the rabbit with the irish accent, wisely. The Tour Guide waved goodbye as Slayer's warpshield transported the rest back to Clockwork's spaceship, and alone, set out once more in search of the touring company he was working for.

A day or so later, the 'Taverners, along with Jim Drab, had reached the mystic land of Plotline Hotline. They all went up to the building with him, so as to be sure to get the plot fix, and were greated with much fanfare by the employees Sally A. Mander and Mary Hadalit Tilam, who were in charge of the gates, along with big trumpets in case anyone in need of fanfare should come along.
"Hey, everyone, Jim Drab is back from the dead!" cried Ime D. Recap, running through the halls. "Wake up, you sleep heads, rub your eyes, get out of bed, wake up, Jim's back from the dead!"
After some time, his mad racing brought him to the court of the head of Plotline Hotline, TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, (or The Mutant Inverted Blue Octopus Known As John Jacobson To Only His Close Friends And Your Excellency To Everyone Else Who Was At All Polite Which Is Beginning To Be A Rarer And Rarer Trait World Wide To The Great Disappointment Of National Behavior Scientists Who Like Eating Spinach Cupcakes And Drinking Marmelade Skies With Lucy's Diamonds, in case you've forgotten) who just happened to be there at the time.
"Your Excellency, sir." said Ime, halting at the door, and bowing, "I have to come to inform you your time as Head of Plotline Hotline is at an end."
"WHAT?" cried TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, rising from the big chair. "I still have another ten terms, at least!"
"Well, yes sir, but this is different. Jim Drab, the former 'ead of Plotline 'Otline, has returned from the dead! E's passed through the doors, and is once more! E's once again! 'E has resurrected, and is 'ere to meet 'is duties! E's alive! Once more endowed with life, e' comes 'ere now! They've mended the hole in 'is stomach with silly putty! E's regained 'is metabolic processes, and 'as climbed back onto the twig! E's righted the bucket, returned to 'is mortal coil, opened the curtain and quit the bleedin' choir invisible!!"
There was a pause, and then TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC recovered from the extended speech. "Well, I guess I'm replaced then."
It was at this point that Jim Drab and the 'Taverners entered the room.
"'ello, chief." said Propulsion, jovially. "'Ere's Jim Drab, 'ere to take back 'is job as 'head of Plotline 'Otline!"
"Stop that bloody accent." whispered Tyf to Propulsion, who fiddled nerviously with a tie.
"It is indeed good to see you once more among us," said TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, descending from the chair, "and I willingly return this seat until the next time you chance to die, my being your sucessor."
"Thank you, old bean. Jolly good of you." said Jim.
"All very nice.." said Slayer, quickly, before they were forgotten, "but what about us? We were told that if we resurrected Jim Drab, the plans to build over the War Tavern site would be stopped, so we could rebuild the 'Tavern with the materials safely deposited in Fort Knix!"
"Oh, is that what Bill Bored told you?" asked TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC. "That was all one of our little plots, to make you resurrect Jim Drab. There never was such an idea in anyone's head that could do anything about it. Quite frankly, I'm surprised you didn't know Bill under his disguise. But I suppose the employee you dialed added to the conviction....."
The 'Taverners quickly left, restraining Kovu, who was foaming at the mouth and trying to get at anyone in sight.

Soon afterwards, thanks to the fast spaceship of Clockwork (who then flew away, work done), the 'Taverners returned to Carrotus, where they set out. After all, they still only had three quarters of the necessary materials, even though the materials in question were safely stored in Fort Knix, and they had an 8,000 Carrotian Credits gift certificate to the Hardware Store of their choice.
"How many Hardware Stores are on Carrotus, anyway?" asked Fquist, curiously. Of them all, he was the only one who hadn't been following the entire Hardware Store quest.
"Well, we've seen - three, wasn't it? - already. Two exploded and the third doesn't want us anywhere near."
"Oh." said Fquist, and they continued to walk on, looking around.
"What we need is another of those inflatable Limo's you were using earlier." said Kovu, after his feet started getting tired.
"Well, it's your own fault the first one got destroyed." said the muddy rabbit, causing Kovu to wilt just a little.
"Well, we can't stop now!" said Ducky, with enthusiasm. "Not when the War Tavern is so close to being finished! Besides, we've got to pad this post out to a bit closer to the character limit."
So they kept going, until (after much grumbling of sore feet) they came across a ramshackle building with a sign reading "The only Hardware Store on Carrotus that allows War Taverners". They looked at eachother, wondering what exactly the others had done, sure it hadn't been their doing, then went inside.
In the dimly lit interior, they could see, indeed, such things as would be for sale in a Hardware Store. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had no need to look for bent nails, as in the nails department they already had everything they needed. In fact, all that was left was a bunch of boards, which they proceeded to examine. Once they had found the required amount, they went up to the counter, paid for it, went to Fort Knix (after resting for the night), got the rest of the materials, and went to the spot of the War Tavern.
"The final stretch was.... easy." said Propulsion, confused.
"Too easy." said Slayer, looking around uneasily.
But nothing came of it, and the War Tavern got rebuilt, and all the underground rabbits regained their portions of sanity. Everything was as it used to be. Now, at last, they could get a new and fresh plot...........

[RockyR]

Nice job cleaning it up.

I'd reply - but let's see how long it takes before someone else does. It's basically been 'unknown rabbit and sometimes rocky story swap'. Coppertop and Ducky wrote short segments involving food and drink. Baeauman was here for like a day. Oh and Kovu. Try and get Lil Wabbit to come in here.


Rocky
Stuff is good

[Kovu aka Alec]

Or: Quest for Pie

"Yay! Yay! YAY! YaY! yAy! yaY yAY yay! !yay! !Yay !Yay !YAY !YaY yAy! !yaY" The Taverners did shout, running around in silly little circles, perpetually running into quite solitary objects. Until one hapless fool shouted,
"Drinks on me, for everyone!" He would soon realize that his tab would be plunged into infinity negative trillion debt. As the current, at the time undisclosed bartender moved into the cellar, he discovered the Tavern's eternally unexhaustable supply of beer, ale, wine, and liqour was nearly half exhausted.
"It's not possible!" He/she/it shouted. Then he/she/it ran and checked the very nearly unexhaustable food supply, which was also half empty. Then he/she/it checked the eternally unexhaustable pie supply, exclaiming,
"We have no PIE!!" The teeming horde of rabbits gasped fearfully, although one or two may have been along with the crowd, and snuck out the windows later. Hesheit, as the current bartender would now be foreverly named and gendered, said again,
"And only enough food to feed half the galaxy!" The crowd gasped again, although a few of them may have been going along with the crowd and snuck through the Perpetually Undiscovered Trapdoor near the pinball machine.
"We'll starve!" They cried again. Hesheit then didth proclaim,
"And we only have enough alcohol to uhm...we don't have much alcohol!" The small band gasped again, and several more just went along, and later escaped through one of the many gaping holes left in the Tavern by it's haphazard and shoddy construction.
"We'll be sober!" The remaining four or five of them shouted!
"We must go on a quest for PIE!" Hesheit said, er, exclaimed, whatever.
"YaaaaY!"
------------------
bwaha.

[Ducky]

I trotted by the Irish accented rabbit. "Your accent is HOT," I said, trying to stuff a loaf of brean in my ratty knapsack. "Are you seeing anyone?" but was jostled out of the way by ...someone I didn't recognize.

[JJ BBoy KS]

"Where are we gonna find any pie?" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ asked, "I don't know of any pie, other than what we've always had here at the War Tavern." "Ahh...but there IS pie!" Hesheit answered. "Pie beyond anybunny's imagination!" "Where!?" Somebunny asked. "In the Misc. Forum!" Hesheit exclaimed. "There is a topic in the Misc. Forum entitled <I>'Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie.'</I>. If we can get there, we'll have all the pie we could ever want!" "Wow!" BBoy said. So the Taverners got ready and set off for the Misc. Forum.
"This may take longer than I thought!" Said Hesheit. "We've still got to pass through <I>'The Future of Jazz', 'Technical Help', 'Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments',</I> and <I>'Lori Central'</I> Then we must cross over into the <I>Non Jazz-Related Forums</I> section. I don't know what that'll be like." "I've never been anywhere passed the War Tavern!" BBoy said. They walked on until they came to a sign that said, 'Now entering The Future of Jazz' "Oh boy...."

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

Hmmm... You know, it's been kind of fun reading this thread and finding out what I've been up to while I've been gone...

Anyway...

As the pie-hungry rabbits neared the Future of Jazz forum, there was an odd ungodly song ringing in their ears...

"Everyone likes Ice cream,
Yes indede they do...
Everyone likes Ice cream-
I do, do you?

Search the whole world yonder
travel near and far,
Yes everyone likes Ice cream,
no matter who they are...

Second verse- same as the first...

Everyone likes Ice..."

"BLASPHAMY!!!" screamed BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, speaking in all caps so everyone could hear. "THE COLD CREAMY TASTE OF ICE CREAM CANNOT COMPARE TO THE WARM GOOEY TEXTURE OF PIE!!! WHAT EVER EVIL IS RESPONCIBLE FOR THIS MUST BE TRYING TO KEEP US AWAY FROM THE SWEET SWEET PIE! AVERT YOUR EARS FROM THE EVIL SONG!!!!"
"I don't like Ice cream... unless it's covered in feathers." someone in the back who was wearing sunglasses and a backpack said.(Gee... Wonder who THAT was? /\;)/\) "We can't go on much longer like this."

Meanwhile, watching the group from the safety of his lair, a suspicious figure laughed... He seemed to remind one of Dr. Claw from those inspecter gadget cartoons.
"Yes... Hear my music and tremble... You will never see your precious pie... Mwahahahaw!!!!"

"We can do this..." said BBoy, trying hard to keep peoples morals up. "How?" was the public outcry.

"Think of Pie- Alamode!"

"Curses..." said the Dr. Claw wannabe.


"...And there was much rejoicing!"
-Announcer
Montey Python and the holy grail.

[Alister]

And had they but looked into the shadiest of dark corners, where evil lurks on a weekly basis, they would have noticed a small, sponge-like thing shift deeper into the shadows. But nobody saw, and it had little impact on what was to happen next...

[JJ BBoy KS]

"Where is that song coming from?" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ exclaimed. "I don't know...it sounds like it's coming from...those trees!" Kovu pointed toward a clump of 3D trees (remember it's JJ3, so everything is 3D now :D ). The group pushed through the trees to find a large speaker with the ice cream song coming out. "MOVE!" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pushed everyone aside, and shot at the speaker. There was a bright flash, and sparks flew. Then there was a smoking speaker with a hole going through it. *silence* Batty pulled out a Super Soaker XG 4000 B Plus Xtreme Power Blaster 420 (with xtra water containers, cuz it was the millenium edition) from his backpack and squirted out the remaining flames from the speaker. "Did your mom ever tell you that smoking was bad for your health?" He said to the speaker. "FOOLS!" Came a loud voice from yet another speaker from behind some other 3D trees. "Who is that!?" BBoy asked. "I am Dr. Epic, the evil leader of Epic. I'm the reason JJ3 has not fully come to being! I rule everything in the Future of Jazz forum! AND YOU HAVE DESTROYED A VERY EXPENSIVE 3D SPEAKER!!! (Which was playing a good song too. :( )" "No!" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ shouted. "That was an evil song, for it did not speak of PIE! And you are evil for not letting JJ3 come to being!" "Oh, but that's why I'm called Dr. Epic, the <B>evil</B> leader of Epic. Now if you do not leave, I shall destroy you all!" "We've got to pass through this forum though!" Batty said. "Well that's too bad." Said Dr. Epic. "Now go back where you came from or DIE!" "Come on!" Hesheit said. The group ran further down the path but suddenly found it blocked by some large 3D lizards. "You go no further" The lead lizard said.

[JJ BBoy KS]

(I posted at the same time as Toxic Bunny, so somebunny feel free to do something with the sponge-like thing he was talking about)

[Violet CLM]

"Eep." said Batty Buddy, faintly, and hid behind a large 3D rock.
"You can't desert us now!" cried BBoy, looking over his shoulder, at the same time thinking it was probably a very bad idea to turn his back in any way to the lizards. "You've got all the experiance with fighting big, yellow lizards!"
"Yes.. but these ones don't seem disposed to juggling, even if they did have big rocks on their heads. Go ahead without me, this activates my Giantevil3Dlizardophobia or something."

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ considered mentioning there was no such thing as Giantevil3Dlizardophobia, but the lizards had begun advancing, arms swinging around dangerously, and he decided it was not the best time for scientific corrections. "This always worked in Jazz 2" he said, confidently, and dropped a little TNT before running away. Sadly, the lizards avoided the TNT, which blew up nothing but an alchoholic doormouse, who nobody ever missed.
"Hahaha! And you thought the Future of Jazz would be all rosy, because it was 3D, didn't you?" cried the jeering voice of Dr. Epic, from astride a 3D hillock. "Well, 3D has its cons as well as pros!"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ gulped, but then Slayer stepped forth, having decided there was really little to worry about.
"Come on, you guys!" Slay cried, walking foward purposely. "We live in 3D, after all! This is no different from Cannibal Feud, other then that we get to use weapons!"
The rest of the 'Taverners looked at eachother, in wonder, then agreed he was right, and launched forth at the 3D lizards. Although a few of them, who had never really liked Cannibal Feud, stayed behind and joined Batty behind the rock, which was bigger then it had looked at first. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had climbed astride a different rock, and was now commentating with all the ease of a commentator.
"And the match has begun! There's Slayer, gnawing at a lizard's toe, and BBoy's helping him near the head.. Ooh, daring attack there from Hesheit, but.. ouch, that must hurt. Oh! For those of you who want a True show, divert your attention over there to the corner, where Dr. Epic has been accosted by Cobra, and is being severely throttled for the delay in our journey.. I never knew an arm could bend that way... and it's Kovu, Kovu with the ball, and he's thrown it right up that lizard's nose! And the lizard is stumbling about in pain, which is alot easier in 3D, but look! A superb use of Admin powers there by Derby, or 'Hatman' to those of you call him that, the lizard's down and edited! That leaves three, three giant bezerk 3D lizards.. ow, nasty hit on Bartman there.. and he's out of the game! Nice work from Admael with the stretcher.. and it's Dethman, with his rilly cool sword, and there's another lizard down! The ball's been retrieved by DDay, and he's throwing it at the third lizard.. no, he missed! And it's Tyf, Tyf with the ball in her face, yes, she's holding up a white flag with 'SSF' written on it! It looks like Tyf's disqualified.. And over there, the fourth lizard is hard pressed to remain upright, Speedy and Rocky have teamed up on it with the chicken gun, how did they get it out of my backpack without my noticing, and the fourth lizard's down! One left, and the 'Taverners are converging on it.. he's been tackled and he's on the ground, and there's a writhing mass of 'Taverners on top.. but no, he's getting up! This one's not giving up easily.. oho, what's Dr. Epic up to? He seems to have regained his senses, and he's edging over to that machine.. and the third lizard's down! Excellent double play there with the humongous mallet by Fire Sword and Fquist.... and the 'Taverners win! Dr. Epic appeared to be going to retaliate, but Ducky spotted him, and he's gotten a good throttling with her Moderator TwiG! The game is over!"

The 'Taverners congregated, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ getting down from the rock, and the lurkers unlurking. The opposing side was most severely trounced, and there were only a few injuries on their side. Tyf had a nasty bruise on her face, Hesheit's left arm was broken, Bartman had a severe lump on his head, and Cobra had a bloody nose, but other then that and a few scrapes and cuts here and there, they had emerged unscathed.
"So, does that bode well or ill for the Future of Jazz?" asked Ducky, musingly, folding up the Chicken gun and returning it to BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's backpack.
"I'm sure it depends on how you look at it." said Unknown, dryly. "On the one hand, it could mean we'll have some great battles. On the other hand, it could mean JJ3 will be beaten within an inch of its life, and will never see the light of day."
"Or it could be a completely unrelated incident." said Dethman, wincing as Admael applied a small poultice to a cut on his arm. "We should probably put Dr. Epic somewhere safe, or we'll have to go through this again on the way back."
"And that could endanger the pie." put in Hesheit, feebly. "You know, maybe I should go back. I'm little use as a fighter at the moment, and if someone comes to the War Tavern while we're gone, there should be someone to bartend."
"It is your decision." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "I personally agree with your statement, but let that not alter your decision."
"Oh, everyone stop being so somber!" cried Defalcon. "We just won a great battle, even if the Jedi could have done better!"
So they all set out once more cheerfully, with the exception of Hesheit, who chose to return to the War Tavern. Steel offered to help him/her/it back, saying he would then catch up afterwards, but Hesheit declined, waving his/her/its free hand in protest. Dr. Epic was sent through a random plothole, courtesy of BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so they probably wouldn't have to worry about him again.

Soon afterwards, the intrepid PIE seekers found themselves in the the land of Technical Help. It was a long stretch of barren land, with various computer parts strewn about as a subsitute for scenery.
"Seems easy enough." said Kovu, confidently, so they continued walking. After a time, they saw the sign "Welcome to Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments" in the distance.
"That was no trouble at all!" said Ducky, in wonder. But they were suddenly blocked as a wall appeared from nowhere, "Error connecting to List Servers." written on it in big white letters.

[JJ BBoy KS]

Lol, Unknown. :lol: Nice story. :D

"Uhhh....what now?" Asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "Hello fella's." Came a voice behind them. The group turned. "Who are you?" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ asked the person that stood in front of them. "My name's Burger. Trying to get past that wall?" "Yes." BBoy answered. "Do you know anything about it?" "Yes." Burger replied. "First of all, you all are not 1.23 Jazzers. You need to upgrade to Version 1.23 or 1.24 before you can pass. Also, the list servers have been down and very unstable the last few days. I'm trying to fix them. So if you're going to pass, you must first upgrade yourselves, and then let me fix the problem." "I hope we have enough time." Derby said. "Our Tavern needs pie." "Wait a minute!" BBoy exclaimed. "Why did we send Hesheit back!? He's the only one who knows about this, 'Pie Topic'!" "I think we'll be able to find it easily enough without him." Uknown said. "Now, Burger, how do we get upgraded?" "You must go to the FAQ section, and get the patch. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to work on the list servers." Burger said as he walked away. "Blast. We've gotta go somewhere else now. Anybody know where the FAQ section is?" Said BBoy. "I do." Fquist answered. "Just follow me."

The group walked on and finally got to a J2O warp. A screen next to it slowly looped through some places in J2O.com. Finally the words, FAQ came up. "Come on!" Fquist said, and the group jumped through the warp. They found themselves in a land full of question marks. "Wow! Hey, if we can do that...then why can't we simply warp to the misc section?" BBoy asked. "Because that's in the JCF. We haven't programed any JCF warps. Just J2O warps. Come on, the patch is this way." Fquist said, and they walked on. Finally they came a large.........patch. It was floating just above the ground. "Goodness. It's bigger than I thought!" DDay commented. "Everybody put your hands on it." Fquist said. The group did, and suddenly there was a flash. Once it left, they all looked at themselves. "I don't feel any different." Tyf said. "But you are. You're now a version 2.23 Jazzer." Fquist said. The group quickly ran back to the warp and waited until it said, 'return to where you came'. They all leaped through and found themselves back in the Technical Help Forum. Only now it was shaking and there was electricity everywhere. "What's going on!?" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ yelled above the rumbling and zapping sounds. "I don't know" Fquist replied. "Lets try to find Burger!"

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

Hmm... Wonder what will happen when we reach Lori Central.

"Don't worry about Burger." Batty said, taking off his backpack. "I'm sure something in this thing can help us." He reached inside it and pulled out:
The Final Finished Version of Jazz Jackrabbit 3 on CD. "Aw-man. This thing is acting up again-spitting out useless stuff..." "NO WAIT..." everyone yelled, but it was too late- Batty had thrown the CD behind him, breaking it. He then pulled out a large slice of PIE!!! "BATTY WAIT..." Too late, Batty threw the Pie away too... It rolled on the ground and got eaten by a passing Gigabyte.(They're everywhere in the Tech Support section.) Finally, Batty pulled out a weird looking device that resembled a game boy wrapped in chicken wire. On it was the word: Burgerscope.

"AHHA!" Batty said. "Now- lets go find... HEY-Why's everyone so gloomy looking?" Everyone was staring solomly at either the broken Jazz3 CD, or the Gigabyte that ate the pie(The Gigabyte belched happily.).
Tyf groaned... "Of all the times for Batty's backpack to pull out something he wasn't looking for..." "HEY! Come on you guys... the sooner we get through this the sooner we get pie..." Batty's voice range out.
Everyone signed heavily... A few rabbits started weeping...

[Violet CLM]

"So, how do you use this thing?" asked Ducky, after recovering from the double loss.
"From what I can tell, you hold it here, and it tells you which way to go.. odd, I can't read this language." said Batty Buddy, after pressing the big red button that everyone had known would be there.
"You've got it upside-down." said Dethman, scathingly, causing Batty to cough and turn it around.
"Right! According to this machine, Burger went.. thataway!" And the party trooped off thataway, still upset, except for Batty, who had no idea what had happened.
Soon, the Burger scope turned itself off. This was probably because they had reached Burger, and it had an automatic source of query toggle status built in modifier thing, or something with the same effect but a shorter name.
"Burger, why is the ground shaking and electricity flying around?" asked Fquist, to the one who indeed was seated in front of them.
"Oh!" Burger spun around, and faced them. "That's just because your registry is being updated, and it's taking a little while. I presume you have been patched, then?"
"Yes," said Bart, flexing the muscles he wished he had. "There was a flash, and now we feel different."
"Good!" said Burger, then continued. "And the list servers are up again, so you're fine now."
"But the wall is still there!" said Rocky, pointing. The wall with the error message still stood there, reaching as far as they could see, with no way around it.
Burger laughed. "You just need the list server patch!"
"Another patch?" everyone groaned, but Burger assured this one wasn't so much work, and pointed to a transparent case attached to a nearby wall. "In case of error connecting, break glass" read a sign, with a blaster hung on a chain next to it.
"Forget that wimpy little thing!" said Tyf, drawing her own gun. "Stand back." she said, and before Burger or anyone else could stop her, fired a long and powerful blast at the glass. When it was finished, the glass was indeed broken, but the patch behind it had been destroyed.
"Oh, very well done." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, glowering. "Now how are we going to get the PIE?"
Burger, after thinking for a moment, pointed into the ranks of the 'Taverners. They moved aside from the path his finger indicated, all except Haze, who stood there, his fur on end. He had been feeling very funny ever since they had entered the land of Technical Help, and it had now reached a climax. "Haze shall help you." said Burger, wisely. "He already posesses the list server patch, and does not see the wall you speak of, but he thought it would be safer to just go along with the crowd."
"Amazing!" cried Haze, looking with wonder at Burger. "That's completely correct. But how can I give them the list server pat- oh!" Suddenly, a new light came into the rabbit's eyes, and he ran off in the direction that seemed right. Waving goodbye to Burger, the others followed, hoping Haze wasn't leading them into trouble.

Soon, they came to a hole in the ground.
"There!" said Haze, pointing into it triumphantly. "The list server patch is somewhere in there."
"It looks just like a hole, to me." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, looking in. "Are you sure this is it?"
"Of course!" said Haze. "I have been guided by the divine finger of Burger. This is my place, Haze's Hideout, and it is here we shall find the list server patch!"
They descended, noting as they did so the hole had stairs going down, and there were torches after a time. Indeed, the further down they went, the more elaborate the passage became, until when they finally emerged, it seemed a large temple hewn into the ground around them.
"Amazing," said Derby, poking at a wall. "We must be miles below sea level."
"Hot and cold running water, if you don't mind the fishies!" cried Haze, proudly. It was as if he had always known of this place, but had until now forgotten of its very existance.
"So where's the list server patch?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. Pillars and fishes were all very well in the right context, but they had PIE to consider!
"Right this way." said Haze, and they went down a corridor with a large sign marked "Patches". After passing another 1.23 patch (which Haze recieved some glares for not remembering) they came across a list server patch. It was a small thing, and afixed to the wall, but it vibrated like a living thing.
Fquist reached out to grab it, but Haze held him back. "Watch out! Due to some flaw in the design of this building, that patch holds the sea out! We must find some way of plugging it, first."
"How about I put my finger in the hole, effectively sacrificing myself for the sake of PIE?" said Propulsion, who had come along in the first place in hope of some way to sacrifice himself.
"Eventually, you'd rot away, and the water would get past." said Cobra, sternly. "Besides, it would mean loss of carrotan life, which is something we want to avoid."
Then there was a flash, and Derby started sweating and looking as if in pain.

"What's wrong?" asked Ducky, worridly, turning to Derby. "Do you have a fever or something?"
"No..." groaned Derby, looking strained. "I'm.. preforming.. a hole edit. Retrieve.. the patch.. the water.... won't.. get in."
They were concerned for Derby's health, but Kovu removed the patch from the wall anyway, and they walked away from the wall, moving slowly so Derby could keep up. Besides, it was a disconcerting feeling to see water straining to pour into the temple like place, but being blocked by some invisible force.
"So what comes after Technical Help, again?" asked Propulsion, pondering new methods of sacrificing himself for a greater good.
"Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments" said Unknown, after checking on a laptop he had carried all the way from the war tavern. "Then Lori Central, across to the non Jazz related forums, and we're there."
"Not quite... halfway there.... then." said Derby, straining each word out, then tripped over a small pebble, having diverted his attention enough to speak.
"Are you ok?" Cobra began, but Derby yelled at them to run, so they did, as the water broke loose from his hole edit, and poured forth in powerful waves.
"We'll never make it out fast enough!" cried Derby, worried, panting. Already the water was visible crashing along behind them, not just a sound but a reality.
"No!" cried Haze, the light coming into his eyes again. "Throw the patch on the ground!"
Puzzled, but with nothing else to do, Kovu threw the patch down, and as they watched, it expanded, all the time remaining next to them as it ran along. Soon it had become a humongous magic carpet. Just before the water reached the fleeing 'Taverners, they all jumped onto the patch, or carpet, whichever, which somehow fit all of them, and were born out through the tunnel up to the surface at a far faster speed then they could have climbed.
As they sat there, huddled in the center so as not to fall off, the carpet - or patch - flew over the large error connecting wall, landed on the other side, and shrunk down to a small patch again. "Welcome to Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments" read a sign next to them.

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

Mwaahhaha... i hath returned... who knows for how long tho, i got kinda a job now... so we shall see, heh. Yet again, i must kinda operate limitedly, even i BACK READ THE WHOLE DANG STUFF I MISSED [thorughly too] (yes, i'm the only idiot who does that around here :p), it's just i need to re-re-re-re-re-re- get into the swing of things.... *pops knuckles, as usual*

==============================================

Yes, they finally entered the Jazz Tournaments Section, which was only 1 section from the Misc section (Lore Central being in-between), but then........

*ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUmmmmmmmmbleeeee*

"What the heck was that?" Tyf asked in a somewhat scared manner.
"No idea... yet it's very loud... and close..." Unknown conceded.
"Oh, that's just my stomach, hehe, need PIE!" Batty then replied haphazardly
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ groaned "Well if you didn't THROW OUT THAT BIG SLICE OF PIE THAT WAS IN YOUR BACKPACK, YOU WOULDN'T BE HUNGRY IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
Batty cowered away a little, then shrugged it off.

The whole group seemed to be on edge, from lack of pie and ale.
They trecked through this section, which seemed to be war-torn, with burnt threads and flames, adding to the irritating atmosphere.

Fquist moaned, as if in pain, unlike BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's annoyed groaning, for Fquist was an Admin, and was not used to such things as "Walking", and considered himself above such things.
*Fquist snapped his fingers, summoning the moving bot over to him, which he sat on it as it walked for him*

Ducky looked in envy, and then asked "Why do you get to ride the Moving Bot there? you should walk like the REST of us!"
Fquist replied rather annoyed "Cause i can, because I am All Powerful Fquist!"
"No, You should walk like the rest of US!"
"No, insolent Moderator, i shall NOT!"
A twisted unusual face now stretched upon the both of them.
Ducky then yelled angrilly "Then i shall DUEL you for the Moving Bot!"
"Then so be it!" Fquist replied
Haze then jumped inbetween them, holding them from eachother
"Why are you two FIGHTING like this?!?!? This will get us no where! Just let Fquist use his Bot!"
Cobra then stepped in, taking the side of Ducky "What do you mean let him use the Bot?!?!!? it's clearly unfair! Ducky is right!"
"It is FAIR, of course it is! It's HIS!"
Then the same wretched faces of Ducky and Fquist bestowed upon Cobra's and Haze's faces.
"Oh ya? WELL HOW ABOUT I'LL DUEL YOU FOR WHO'S RIGHT!" which caused Cobra to pull out her old blaster
Haze yelled "FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY!" Then haze pulled out his blaster...
Soon the Taverners were taking sides, challenging eachother to duels and started firing, kicking, punching, spam-throwing, and using various weapons of destruction on eachother.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then pondered before jumping in... "something isn't right here..."
Unknown then intervened "How is something not right?"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ replied "Well, why is everyone fighting? i mean, we don't usually fight like this, do we?"
"No, we usually don't except maybe you glowering at people's mistakes"
"What do u mean "Glowering at people's mistakes"? I NEVER DO SUCH THINGS!"
"DUELS CAN ONLY DECIDE SUCH THINGS!"
"Ya you do, ALL THE TIME! it's one of your CHARACTER FLAWS!"
Then the angry look that Fquist had that went up Ducky that went up Cobra that went up Haze that is now going to be upon BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ that will then be on Unknown which is happening at this very moment, now stuck unto BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's and Unkown's faces, causing them to lunge at eachother, struggling for eachothers necks.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Die... Piggy... Swine....
Unknown: NEVER *CHOKE* until you admit *COUGH* your WRONG!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: *CHOKE* *CHOKE *CHOKE* NO! YOU.... FIRST!

RockyR just then walked in on Unkown and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ choking eachother, since everyone seems to get along with RockyR :p
asking inquistively, RockyR asked "Er... Why are you guys choking eachother like madrabbits?"
Unknown: Because *CHOKE* HE WON'T ADMIT HIS CHARACTER FLAWS!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: NO, BECAUSE *COUGH* YOU WON'T STOP MAKING *CHOKE* FALSE ACCUSATIONS!
RockyR then shook his head and pulled out a bucket of freezing ice cold water, and spash BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and Unknown down, causing them to restrain.
Unknown then recovered "What... Just happened?"
"I beleive.... we were... argueing... and then...i had my hands on your neck" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ replied unsure of the passing events
RockyR then chirped in "Right.... and then you were choking eachother... yelling at eachother.... i believe you left that out..."
Unknown sat there, thinking...
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then bursted in "Y'know, i wonder.... This is the "Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments" section... i believe it could somehow affect our thinking..."
Unknown then Nodded agreeingly
Just then...
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!*
Unknown, RockyR, and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ flew back after the explosive projectile detonated near them
Ducky: DIE FQUIST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!
FQUIST: MOVING BOT! ATTACK!
Batty: PIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
So the battle ensued, rabbits killing eacother.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: We really need to stop them
RockyR: Ya THINK?

[Violet CLM]

*Pop* Fquist found himself inside the War Tavern once more. He blinked, though not with his eyes so much as his entire body.
"Odd..... it's like when you get hurt in Jazz 2." he said musingly. Around him, other rabbits from the journey were popping into existance, also flashing, though not in an offensive way. Looking down, Fquist noticed he was solid again.
"Why am I here?" he asked aloud, expecting no answer. Last thing he had remembered, Ducky had stolen Dethman's sword and run him through.. but now he was here, and without large, obvious gaping holes. The other rabbits were also puzzled, and he guessed they had had similar experiances.
"Hey! Back already? Where's the pie?!" cried a voice from behind him, and Fquist spun around. Hesheit was standing behind the bartender's counter, arm in a splint.
"Not here." said BBoy, plopping into a chair. "We reached the land of Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments, and I got killed, and ended up here."
"Me too." said Fquist, and there was nodding from the rest of the rabbits. "But I don't think I'm dead...." turning to Hesheit, he asked, "Are you dead?"
"Not that I know of." said Hesheit, then frowned. "I think.. yes.. in some parts of Carrotus and other planets, dieing is not final. You only live more then once. In those spots, when you are killed, you vanish and reappear in the place you came from, or your start pos, to be brief."
"We are indeed fortunate that was one of those spots!" cried Bartman, who had recently reppeared. "With all that fighting, we would surely have lost most of the 'Taverners otherwise!"
"We do, though, in a sense." said Fquist, thoughtfully. "I mean, we don't, but each of us can not assist the rest in the Quest for PIE!"
There was a low moan, and the rabbits declined their heads.
BBoy turned to Hesheit. "Is there any way we can rejoin our comrades?"
"If you set off again, and caught up with the rest, I don't see why not." hesheit said, leaning on the counter. "Unless, of course, you somehow destroyed part of the path behind you."
"Ah, yes." said Cobra, sadly. "We shall not be able to get back over the Error wall, as both list server patches are not reachable for us."
"Uhhh.. yeah, I'd like to say how sorry I am about that." said Tyf, shuffling her feet.
"That's ok." said Fquist, reassuringly. "Assuming some of them survive Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments, the Pie should still be gained. Drink, anyone?"

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Rocky, and Unknown looked over the battle scene. Most of the contestants seemed to have inexplicably vanished.
"Aha!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, suddenly. "I know. We just have to douse them all with cold water."
"That was fairly obvious." said Unknown, scathingly. "We need some way to Get the water, though."
"Fairly obvious indeed!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, glaring. "You couldn't have thought of it in a million tuesdays!"
"I could outthink you anyday." said Unknown Rabbit, climbing onto a rock so he could look down on BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ better.
"Then let us DUEL to see who is smarter!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and the look went over their faces again, and they jumped at eachother madly. Rocky sighed, and heaved the bucket over their heads again.
"There! And that's the last of it, so be careful!" said Rocky, then returned to looking at the battle scene.
"I know." said Unknown, feebly, letting go of BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "We need to get Batty's backpack, before he vanishes like most of the 'Taverners."
"Good idea." said Rocky, quickly, before BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ could retort. "Why don't I and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ go, while you stay here, so you two can't conflict?"
There was an agreement, so BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and RockyR set out into the slightly shrunken mass of writhing bodies in search of Batty's backpack.

"Pardon me." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, as he bumped into Derby, who was rolling on the ground in a mad deathlock with Kovu.
"You'll not get away with bumping me!" screamed Derby, and was about to turn on BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ when Rocky flashed Derb one of his most genial smiles, causing Derby to stop moving for a moment, dazed. Then Kovu got up and punched him in the nose, and the combat began again.
"There he is!" cried Rocky, and the two changed direction towards Batty Buddy and Firesword, who were locked in a most pre-modern duel, quite apart from the rest of the fighters.
"Hi, guys!" said Rocky, happily. "How are things?"
The two duelists stopped fighting, dazed, and looked at Rocky.
"Batty, I need to borrow your backpack for a moment." said Rocky, and the bat numbly handed it over, brain moving slow from Rocky's infectious non-violence.
"Ah, thanks." said Rocky, and turned around to show BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, not noticing Firesword suddenly recover and clove Batty in two before the other could retaliate.
After pulling out a nuclear missile (which one of the maddened 'Taverners saw and tried to grab), a toy submarine and a accurate copy of Beethoven's eighth symphony, they found what they had been looking for, a hose.
It obviously worked, though connected to no source of water, so BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ shrugged and sprayed a constantly stream of water around the battlefield, drenching the particiapants throughly, while Rocky happily played with the toy submarine.

Confused, Kovu let go of Derby, who let go of him. All around, rabbits were staring at each other and putting down either their weapons or their opponents, shamefacedly.
"Right!" said Unknown Rabbit, walking among them. "How many do we have left?"
"Nine." said Derby, after looking around a bit.
"I see ten." said DDay, looking oddly at Derby.
"Firesword, DDay, Kovu, Unkown, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Rocky, Speedy, Ducky and Haze. Nine." said the afore mentioned, testily.
"You forgot to add yourself."
"Oh, I did, did I? Say that again and I'll subtract you!"
"Then let us DUEL!" cried DDay, and the two lunged at eachother, but Rocky hosed them off again before any harm could be done.
"Let's get going before anyone else vanishes." said Rock, quickly. "But for saftey's sake, everyone walk at least six feet apart, and all former combatants as far from each other as possible."
After a bit, the afore mentioned setup was reached, and the *ten* rabbits set off in a direction they hoped was to Lori Central, though of course it might not be.

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

Batty wolk up back in the war tavern. "Hey Batty, pull up a seat- we were just about ready to play Trivial persuit." Hesheit muttered. Batty grumbled to himself about dieing, then started to walk toward the bar. "Um... Batty, you look kind of different- new haircut?"
Batty started to reach into his backpack, to look for a mirror... but...
"Huh? My backpacks gone..." His eyes suddenly grew really big. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Wraping himself in his wings, Batty took off for the bathroom, and locked the door. Fquist looked worried, and knocked on the door. "Go away- I'm not decent..." was all Batty replied.

Meanwhile in Lori Central forum...
"Wow... I've never seen so much purple in my life..." Rocky said, looking arround. Everything was all purple... and very... LORI! There were pictures of Lori everywhere. Large statues of Lori... Lori drinking fountains. Needless to say, a lot of the taverners were boggled by the wonder of so much Lori in one space.

"Ah well..." Ducky said. "Compaired to the last two forums, this should be a breeze- I mean, what could possably go wrong in Lori Central?" She trailed off when she noticed everyone looking at her with fear in their eyes... well, they wern't looking at HER, so much as above her head...
"I shouldn't have said that shouldn't I?" everyone nodded. "There's something rediculously big, surprisingly evil-looking, and strangly out of place in the situation behind me isn't there?" Everyone nodded again.
Ducky turned arround...

A large sponge-like thing was behind her...

[Violet CLM]

After a hideous number of days, I have given up waiting for someone else to post.

The 'Taverners quailed before the giant sponge-like thing, in the sense that they made peeping noises. Until they learned what it could do, the giant sponge-like thing was possibly a force to be reckoned with.
"Who are you, oh giant sponge-like thing that does not seem in place?" asked Ducky, deciding she might be the best of them to talk to it, as it had come up behind her instead of any of the rest. However, the giant sponge-like thing did not give its name. It did not give its occupation. Or gender, mailing address, perfume company. It merely thwapped Ducky, waterlogging her, and.. moved foward, emitting a deep sound that sounded like "Kill... Lori.".
"Incredible!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, awestruck. "A significantly engorged sentient bathing apparatus with a built in desire to ventilate Lori!"
"Or a giant sponge-like thing who wants to kill Lori." said Haze, then leaped foward, swinging a bucket of glue madly. "Away, you cleanly beast!"
DDay looked inquiringly at Haze. "What's giong on?" he asked.
"Apparently," said Unknown Rabbit, "this creature who seems strangely out of place has come to the Lori Central forum with a wish to destroy everything portraying or otherwise related to Lori. And as we have no wish to let this forum be destroyed, for one thing it could slow our return, we are attempting to destroy or defeat in some other way the giant sponge-like thing."
"Oh." said DDay, as Firesword took a chop at the underside of TGS-LT, only to hit a section Haze had gluuied, and thus struggle to pull his blade free.
"I don't think this incredibly direct approach is working." said Rocky, watching Ducky batter TGS-LT with her now throughly wet TwiG. Already two statues were in ruins, and the thing was now replenishing its dampness from one of the fountains.
"And you have a better plan?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ.
"We need some sort of super weapon. And a good source of them is right under our noses!" cried Rock, pointing down.
There sat Batty's backpack.

Glick.. sorry this is so short, but (as you might have noticed from my non-posting) I'm in a state of non-inspiration. Hopefully this will move the plot along enough so someone else can post..

[Alister]

Thanking their lucky stars, and a few of the unlucky ones, they opened the backpack. It probably would have been easier had they not all tried to open it at once, but they eventually disentangled themselves from each other and looked inside.
"Why is it so dark in there?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ.
"Because you're blocking the light," replied Haze.
"Oh, come on, how can I be blocking out <i>all</i> the light?" inquired BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. The two of them looked up, and saw to their alarm that the giant sponge-like thing was slowly rolling over them.
"Run!" yelled DDay, who had also realised what was causing the eclipse.
"Now, that isn't very democratic," Batty complained. "Hey! Where are you going?"
The rest of the Taverners, who were by this time running like... er... frightened rabbits, didn't notice Batty disappear under a mass of sponge-like stuff. The giant sponge-like thing was also oblivious to the rabbit beneath it. Batty, however, was keenly aware that he was stuck. He noted that he was quite comfortable, and could breathe quite easily, but he could no longer reach his backpack.
After a few minutes of undignified scurrying, the rest of the Taverners settled down and found their bearings.
"Right," said Ducky, "We'd better have a head count."
It was at this point that they realised that Batty was nowhere to be seen. But there was definitely a muffled yelling coming from somewhere.
"You don't suppose..." pondered Haze, "that he's under the sponge?"
His question was answered when the sponge rolled of their comrade. They rushed over to him and picked him up.
"Why... hello auntie caterpillar! How was your sailing lesson?" said a mildly dazed Batty. But there was no time for small talk.
"We must stop the sponge from moving any farther. It could crush a Lori monument at any minute!" declared Unknown Rabbit.
"But how?" asked Ducky, who realised just too late that the question was far too obvious.
The Taverners lapsed into silence as they tried to work out how to stop a giant sponge-like thing from moving. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ thought back to his bath tub.
"I've got it!" he yelled, "All we have to do is waterlog it!"
"Well... Okay," said Unknown Rabbit, "but where are we going to find any water around here?"
Again their eyes fell on Batty's backpack. It was a few seconds before Haze coughed and pointed towards a large Lori-patterned water tower looming above them.
"Okay, here's the plan," said Rocky, "Someone climbs up the tower and finds out how to release the water. We lure the giant sponge-like thing underneath and Hey Presto!"
They shuffled uneasily at the sound of the word "lure", but they nevertheless agreed that the plan was a good idea.

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

"By the way, Batty... How'd you get back here so fast?" Unknown Rabbit said with a puzzeled look on his face. "And how'd you end up being a rabbit?" "Oh, that... I found a worm hole to an alturnate universe in the bathroom. I got to meet Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa, and some bald fat yellow guy with a toaster who bought me a drink. Steven Hawkings offered me a trip back in the story on condition that I let him take all the credit for finding the worm hole. As for this..." Reveiling a zipper on the chest of his rabbity self, he unzipped it. A wing popped out of the hole in the zipper, and grabbed the backpack... a short time later, Batty popped out of the costume. "... It was the only thing I could find to cover up the fact that I was backpackless... Well, actually, it was a choice between this, a Hello Kitty costume, or a Baby Huey outfit, and I'm a little too old for diapers..." "Well, it's great that your back. We need a decoy..." "Why am I not surprized to hear those words?" Batty deadpanned. Pulling a mantador's costume(you know... Bullfighter style duds and a red cape.) out of his backpack... compleate with a life insurance policy form, he then timidly started for the sponge. "If whoever's going for the tower isn't done in five minutes- whatever's left of me is going to be really ticked off."

[Alister]

(Oops. "Rabbit" was a typo, but forgetting you were back in the War Tavern was bad).


There was more nervous shuffling, but it ended when Unknown Rabbit remembered the word "lure" and volunteered to head up the water tower. He set off before anyone else realised.
"Good," said Batty, "I really didn't want to get ticked off."
"Wait... how are we going to lure it to the watchtower?" asked Unknown Rabbit.
"Let's see what's in here..." said Batty, rummaging around in his backpack. A can of yellow paint landed at Unknown's feet.
"Anything else?" he asked. Batty extracted a motorised pump.
"What we really need," announced Rocky, "is the biggest Lori monument we can find."
"But where are we going to find a monument big enough that we can move to the tower?" asked Batty.
"Something hollow wood be good."
"Yes. Inflatable maybe."
"Like that rubber rabbit costume."
"Only yellow. And bigger. Full of air, say."
"But all we have is the costume, this can of yellow paint, and that motorised pump."
"I've got it!" interjected Batty, "We paint ourselves yellow, use the motorised pump to dry ourselves quickly, and use the costume to tie us together so we look like a big Lori!"
"Actually, I've got a better idea," said Haze.

An hour or two later, the yellow inflated costume was being propped up against the water tower. The taverners settled down to wait. The giant sponge-like thing turned and started rolling towards them. It picked up speed, and didn't bother putting it back again. The faster it went, the more it rumbled.
"It's noisy," said Ducky, "a little <i>too</i> noisy."

[Violet CLM]

Uhhh.. yes. You really didn't read much. I would really appreciate it if you first checked what the plot was before posting, and I'm sure I speak for the other posters as well.

[Enigma]

*deletes post* You're completely right of course. Guess i wasn't thinking straight yesterday. I have regained my common sense after some sleep now. I'll read the entire story first. SOWWY!! ;)

[Violet CLM]

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After a few tries, the sponge was waterlogged. Happily, the 'Taverners rushed over to it, where it lay feebly, and were about to go at it with small knives, before BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pushed them back. "Beware," he said, "this thing may still have malicious powers."
This was true, so they bewared, as BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ fumbled with his backpack to get it open.
"Oh, let me." said Batty, opening his, and pulled out.. a combination Shrinkray-Plothole machine. Shrugging, he aimed it at the sponge, which shrunk to the size of a normal sponge before vanishing.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Darth Vader's eyebrows once more went up as a convinient sponge arrived to help him with the vast army of lemon pies that had struck him.

"So, can we depart from Lori Central, now that the menace of the Giant Sponge-Like Thing is over?" asked Ducky, as Batty returned the helpful ray to his backpack.
"I see no reason why not." said Unknown, climbing down from the water tower. "Once out of here, we cross over to the Non Jazz-Related Forums, then into Misc, where we shall find the PIE!"
Several hats were thrown up into the air, ownership questionable, then the group set off following an arrow on a sign that read "This way out of Lori Central."

"There!" said DDay, pointing. "The next step of our quest!"
They stepped across the border of Lori Central/Non Jazz-Related Forums. but no sooner had they done this, when they all had a very funny feeling.
"I'm melting, I'm melting!" cried Firesword, fearfully, but nothing so commonplace was happening. They were changing in a most unusual way..
"What the..?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, mostly echoed by the rest.
Batty Buddy had a hiking costume on, complete with backpack, Firesword had turned into a french musketeer, DDay had become a middleaged bachelor stereotype, Haze looked like Colonel Sanders, Kovu appeared as a lawyer, Unknown the lawyer for the other side, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ a stereotypical lab type person, Rocky looked and acted like Mr. Rogers, Speedy was dressed up as Hamlet, Ducky had changed into a Public Relations person, complete with desk, and Derby was a quite striking brown horse. But the strangest part, was that they all, with the exception of Derby, were human.
"Evidently," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, pulling a sheet of paper out from a pocket, "the transition from Jazz-Related to Non Jazz-Related has affected us, as well, altering our physical components to a definitely modified exterior, accompanying brain waves to accomondate our recently aquired appearances."
"Isn't that great, kids?!" asked Rocky to no one in paticular.
"I don't care, unless it gets me money." drawled DDay, languidly. Firesword glared at him and drew his sword. "Lazy miscreant! Come, draw thy sword so that I might partake of thy blood for this affrontation of our colleauge!"
"To be, or not to be Human, that is the question.." muttered Speedy.
"Human, of course." said Batty. "Much better for jogging!"
"My client, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, is in the right of this matter." said Kovu, "but that has nothing to do with the case and shall be ignored. Your honor, I shall now prove that BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, on today the this month of this year, articulated a correct statement of our current physical status."
"Rubbish!" cried Unknown, stomping the ground. "You forget to take into account the vast evidence contrary to your proposition. To demonstrate, I call my first witness. Witness?"
"Neeeeigh!" cried Derby, and inspected the ground for food.
"Oh, please, don't quarrel so." said Ducky, wringing her hands. "Let's try to figure out a way out of this situation, so that we can get the PIE!"
"I do Pie RIGHT!" cried Haze.

[RockyR]

The scene was uneasy - the opportunity for achieving Pie was much less at hand. Losing their rabbititidy ought to have bothered them, but only their personalities were out of whack. In the back of everyone's mind was the idea that they had come with a purpose, but most of them had something more or less incoherent to bother wwith - such as eating off the ground or bantering and rebutting eachother. Or in Haze's corner, propping the "new" KFC "tangy" popcorn chicken, as rehashed as that was. Ducky and Kovu were forced to throw the book at him about copyright infringement, so as not to be lawsuited up. It did ever hurt, and Haze's Colonel glasses were broken.
This was the problem, normally none of them had much conflict between eachother, especially after taking out the sponge thing together. Now their was a huge conflict of interest.

Batty Buddy was frankly going plum nuts wanting to go for a run with them, but they all had something else on their minds. Derby wanted to eat plum nuts, if that was a food at all. He was hoping to avoid Grape-Nuts at least. DDay wanted to sit down a be a bum or maybe pick up a woman, but the chances of that were slim. Unknown and Kovu also wanted to take a seat and argue eachother to death. Rocky had attempted a takeover of Ducky's desk to perform a puppet show and failed, whereas in good news, Firesword and Speedy ad opted to perform a show together, but knew no one would watch. Baeauman wanted to mix himself a drink. Ducky was the only one with Pie on the mind, trying to keep "her eyes on the goal" as she repeated to herself. Haze began to regain conciousness and surveyed the terrain. What a mixture of garbage, especially in the Misc. corner, full of towering mounatins. Many of them had collapsed before their eyes due to the wind, they were made of compacted but maliciously inane junk. They built back up rapidly. Possum Forest looked pretty undesireable too, especially since Baeauman pointed out they might become opposums. Only the art place, and that other thing, "LOOK - - - Comedy cafe!" yelled Haze.

This would suit their needs completely, and possibly serve pie or know of a pie distributor, pointed out Ducky. Perfect luck it was, they assumed, and Batty Buddy took off down the trail. Firesword mounted Derby and with spindly sword in hand, followed Batty. Unfortunately for time's sake the rest of them walked with low or mid intensity. Within the hour they had almost all collected, and finally Ducky, who had rolled the desk the whole way, came into view. Most of them had gone inside, Baeauman already having become incoherently drunk (For those who wonder what scientists do for fun) and Dday was having a wild nap in one of the booths. The establishment rang similar to the War Tavern but somehow it was more accomidating and the "decor" was nicer. The comedy stage was containing Speedy and Firesword as they had gotten into a real argument after Speedy had been poked. A bad day for Shakespearean dialogue. As Derby sat outside tied to the post, Rocky sat comfortably after changing out of his sweater. He looked around most pleasingly, and saw a huge man sitting along the wall. He wore a glaringly red shirt with white lettering tht read "I like pie". He tapped Ducky's shoulder and pointed. "It's a wonderful day in his neighborhood, he has one to himself!" Ducky had to slap him, and then slap herself. It was "I like pie"! He was once the board's newest member, she recalled. He must know how to fix their dilemma.
On his plate sat crumbs, which if Baeauman had looked, would have been determined Pie. Ducky slowly moved over to him to ask a nonoffending question. She had to start small. "Um, do you like pie?" she said, carefully. He sat up and looked over with a wonderful smile full of cherry and crumbs. "Yes, as a matter of fact!" he sad cheerily, or maybe cherrily. Ducky humored him, as was appriopriate in the comedy cafe.
A few minutes later: She still tried to think of a safe question. "Do you know, where, we could get some?" she queried in her best nongender/racial specific voice. He turned to her again happily. "Yes, menu," he pointed out. So the comedy cafe had pie, did they. But how much? She wanted to ask him, but was afraid of threatening his appetite. Instead she walked outside, patting Derby's nose, and then checking out back. It was a line of eighteen-wheelers, stretching to the horizon and lined up neatly. "Oh heavens!" she exclaimed. All of the trucks read PIE on them. She never thought they'd have this much. And then it clicked again - being a comedy cafe, they would need this food item for both their food selection and their routines.

The hard part, or the crust, as she hoped to explain it, would be to borrow these trucks. No doubt they had all of the shipments of pie imaginable. But would they give it up? And what about having less fur? Would everyone want to give up this trait? Time would tell. (Hopefully time stands for "unknown rabbit" or another writer)

Stuff is good

[JJ BBoy KS]

"I've got an idea!" Batty said, when suddenly out of the blue the trucks exploded into a huge ball of flame sending bits of pie all over the Comedy Cafe. "Ummm...BB...did you do that?" Kovu asked. "No." Batty replied. Ducky ran over to the flaming destruction and yelled, "Ahh! What happened to the trucks full of pie!?" "I suppose it's just a weird unexplainable comedy cafe mystery." DDay said. "But what about the PIE!?" Ducky exclaimed.
"We'll just have to head for the Misc. Forum and go on with our original plan." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ answered. "Indeed," agreed Batty. "Onward to the <I>Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie</I> topic!"

The group set off, and left the Comedy Cafe. They entered the land of the Non Jazz-Related Forums, and then traveled to Misc.
The place was huge! It had weird oddball colors everywhere, and was lined with bits of spam. "This is the biggest forum we've been to yet!" Speedy exclaimed. "Look at all the topics and people, and...and...wow!" The group looked around in amazment when finally, Haze spoke up, "Pie, guys. Lets get the pie." "Oh yeah!" They all started reading the topics. "Does anyone see it? I don't see it." Unkown Rabbit asked. "Hang on...I'll asked that person over there" Rocky walked up to a person and asked, "Excuse me, could you tell me where to find the <I>Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie</I> topic?" "Oh my. You must be new here. That topic is old now! It's 3 pages into the Misc history! In order to get there you're gonna have to travel through a page portal. There's one just on the other side of that hill." "Thanks" Rocky said and went back to the group.
"What'd he say?" "He said it's 3 pages back. We should have somebody go through the page portal and reply to it so that it'll be new again. Who's willing to do it?" "I will." Batty volenteered. "Okay, It's just around that hill over there."

The group went around the hill and found a glowing circle floating just above the ground. "Well...I'll be seein' ya." Batty flew into the portal and suddenly found himself in a room full of doors. 53 doors to be exact. Each one had a number above it. "Hmmm..." Batty opened door #3 and went inside. He saw a bunch of topics everywhere, but only one caught his eye. Probably because of it's super long title: <I>Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie</I>. "Great glowing orbs of jello, I've found it!" He yelled and flew into the topic. It was three pages long. The beginning message had a bunch of links in it. The following replies said things like, <I>Lol, 'lo Bob</I> at first, but then they started saying things like, <I>i liek piy, so sue me</I> and <I>Bow to the pie! IT commands you!</I> "Weird" Batty said and hit the "reply" button. The topic flashed and he found himself in front of a large white box. "Hmm.." Batty wrote his message in the box, (a simple message that just said, "Pie") and then left the topic. There in front of him was the group. He was back at page 1 of the Misc forum.

"Hey, Batty! You did it. Nice work." Ducky said, "But now how are we gonna get this topic back to the War Tavern?" "Perhaps Derby can do it. He's an admin." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ suggested. "Yes," DDay responded, "But incase you didn't notice, he's also a horse!" "Oh yeah." "I know how to do it." Said a voice behind them. They all turned to see..."Fquist!?" The group was shocked. There in front of them stood Fquist...though not in his rabbit form, they still all recognized him. "Indeed, it is I." Fquist said. "I fixed the J2O warps so that they worked in the JCF too!" "Great!" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ said, "Now we can just move everybody with this topic to the WT!" "No....We can't take the topic through the warp I'm afraid." Fquist replied. "But I did bring my Moving Bot. He'll take the topic while we take the warp." "Ahh! Brilliant!" Batty said.

The group put the plan into action and they all ended up in the Wartavern and back into there original bodies (rabbits and such) with...more pie than the knew what to do with...well not quite that much. :p

=========

Alrighty new plot...Mine is done. :D

[Violet CLM]

"You're back!" cried BBoy, from underneath a table, although it sounded a bit more like "Yur backsh!". "Whersh thuh poi?"
Ducky pointed to a dark corner, where Derby and Fquist were merging the Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie topic with the War Tavern, so it would be in their larders and not uselessly laying around in a (however dark and mysterious) corner.
"Great!" cried Hesheit, exuberantly. "And while you were gone, the miscellaneous food and drinks replenished in a completely unexplained way! We can stay here for the rest of our days, baring annoying adventures."
"My thoughts exactly." said Tyf, slumped in a chair. "I've been part of enough adventures recently for a pulitzer prize award and full length animated movie. From now on, I just want to relax, and no adventures for as long as possible."
And just when the others were murmuring agreement, there was a crash, as the door exploded inwards. A mysterious figure stood in the doorway, as was usual.
"My eyes hurt!" cried the mysterious figure. There was some nervous laughter at the old running gag from the 'Taverners, and then the new arrival lifted its face..
or would have, if it had a face to lift.

Meanwhile, Ancoysnd strolled peacefully along a sunlit trail through the not-quite-so-dark-or-forbidden-forest, humming Beethoven's 10th symphony without knowing it. Today was a big day for him. Today...

[Derald and Donald]

"Hey, everybunny! I'm back..." said DeraldSny as he walked into the Tavern. He then noticed the mysterious figure. "Hey, what happened to you, bud?" The figure turned...

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Derald screamed as he jumped back. "Where's your face?! What are you?!" Derald punched the figure in self-defense, then hid behind Fquist, the only guy he recognized at the moment.

[Violet CLM]

...today, he was being interviewed for promotion in Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. If all went well, he would get to think up new products to sell, such as Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. brand Happy Puppy Pickle Ink, which was green, and a horrible pun.
He went over his answers in his head again. No, he didn't smoke, unless shot with a huge gun. Yes, his language was clean, or if it wasn't, his (Derby: Content edit) cleaning lady was in trouble. No, the artic wasn't their main sales area. Yes, they sold pickles.
Suddenly, two figures jumped out of a bush in front of him, and hastily laid a trip-wire down in the path, which Ancoysnd managed to properly trip over. Before he could finish scolding himself for his own stupidity, he was firmly tied up with gum.
Gum?
That was it! Happy Puppy Pickle flavored gum. No artificial preservatives.. Ancoysnd pondered gum marketing as he was clumsily dragged off someplace.

The new arrival went flying back into a table, which was not bolted down, and thus tipped over. While the faceless one laid there, dazed, the 'Taverners could get a good look at the front of his head. As they had first surmised, he, she, or it had indeed no face.
"All right, buddy, what's your gender?" snapped Hesheit, who wanted a monopoly on that sort of thing.
"Male..." said a feeble, disembodied voice. Which made sense, as there was no mouth for it to come from. "I am 'Faceless' Jim Bobo, and I'm your new agent."
"Agent?!" was gasped collectively from the 'Taverners, other then Derald, who still had no idea what was going on.
"Yes.. the old one quit."
"Old one?!" was repeated loudly, and then Ducky asked "Since when did we have an agent, even a quit one?"
"You see.." said 'Faceless', "the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be decided that you lot were a prime source of commercialism. I, myself, use Cute GenEX brand mouthwash, free flower with each bottle. So an agent, the nature of which I can not reveal at this time, was appointed to maintain your best interests. You may recall the movie you people made. The idea for it was implanted in your heads by said agent, and thus wasn't as original as you first thought.
"Now, the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be thought that about the only thing you weren't doing in the merchandise field was book deals. You may recall you've been having more adventures lately then usual."
"Yes..." growled Tyf, annoyed. "What gives you people the right to make us do things like this?"
"Because you are merely mortal, and are the natural semi-slaves of the higher beings." said 'Faceless', calmly, as if it was nothing unusual.
"Anyway, the old agent quit after Kovu turned evil again, saying it wasn't true to the characters. There then ran some agentless plot, which as you may have noticed contained a hefty deal of copyright infringement and forum related stuff. GenEX was even removed after a un-agented viewer's poll! So I was appointed. Yes, I, 'Faceless' Jim Bobo!
"Now, you can imagine, I hope, my shock and surprise when the powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be told me that all War Tavern merchandise, books, movies, etc, were off. I naturally asked why, as this put me out of a job. It seems that for a long time now, the powers have been using non-magical methods to keep Deraldsny, there, away. Due to a genetic error, Derald contains an odd mutation that makes anything done by the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be rebound upon themselves. For example, if they tried to make Derald turn into a chicken, they would turn into one.
"Recently, their defense was breached when the Giant Sponge like thing was defeated by you 'Taverners, allowing Derald to get through to the 'Tavern, where he is now. Thus, the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be, have collectively said 'Let's call the whole thing off.'
"Obviously, I'm not happy about this, as there's few job oppurtunities for unscrupulous agents with no face. So I came here to ask you to help me storm the lands of the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be, to make them relinquish their relinquishment and make you all mindless slaves of commercialism again. What do you say, are you with me? With Derald, there, nothing they can do will effect you!"
The 'Taverners stared incredulously at either him or Derald, neither of whom seemed to notice their incredulous stares.

[Derald and Donald]

"Mindless slaves?" cried Derald. "No way! Slavery was abolished in my country a LONG time ago! And why are these so-called Powers trying to keep me away? I have no mutation! I'm only human!" Derald promptly punched Jim in his faceless-face.

Suddenly, Donald, Derald's lookalike younger brother walked in. "I heard everything. And *I* say we should go and teach these so-called Powers a lesson they'll never forget!"

"Because they tried to keep you guys out of the Tavern?" queried Tyf.

"Not only that, but to let them know that we have free will and won't be put down easily!" replied Donald. "So, what do you say?"

[Violet CLM]

'Faceless' groaned from the table, which he had once more crashed into. "Don't.. destroy the powers. I'll be even more out of a job then I already am.. and that's inhumanitarian of you, or something. Really, it's not so bad being mindless slaves, you never seemed to mind before. And it would get me my job back!!"
"Don't listen to him." growled Donald. "Faceless is faceless, untrustworthy, slimly, two faced.."
"Wait." said BBoy, hesitantly, who had lost his slur. "How can he be both two faced and faceless?"
Donald shot him a powered up glare, and continued. "Freedom of will for all! Let's go to those powers, yes, but to defeat them, and not to once more go under their rule!"
"I have no mutation." Derald stated, anger welling up inside him. "How dare they slander me so? I'm with Donald. Let's go teach them Powers a lesson they'll never forget!"
"No, you can't!" screamed Faceless, who had shakily risen to his feet and had Derald by the collar. "You don't know what they'll do to me!"
"If you didn't want us to go for them, why did you tell us in the first place?" queried Ducky. "You should have known we'd rather have free will."
"Free will is dangerous!" exclaimed Faceless, pounding the table he had been crashing into, which split in two. "Can't you see? It just leads to big arguments and unrealistic plots!"
"Who says we don't WANT unrealistic plots?" asked Rocky, from the realm of notbeingnoticedia. "Some of our best material has been completely unbelievable."
"Who says we want plots?" muttered Tyf, who was still in favor of relaxing for a while.
"WE NEED TO GET THOSE POWERS!" cried Derald, echoed by Donald, who was waving a hastily made rally flag.
In all the confusion, it was quite natural that none of them noticed 'Faceless' slip out of the Tavern, and walk away, humming to himself. It had all been a lie about Derald's mutation and the chickens and the cancellation of merchandise, of course. If it had been true, the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be could have found some other method of dealing with Derald. As it was, the argument resulting from his brief visit should boost sales tremendously, especially in the audio department. By the time it was finished, they would probably have forgotten the reason for argument, and the powers would be safe.

"Look, where are you taking me?" asked Ancoysnd of one of his two assailants, both of whom were wearing large masks.
"We're the running gag police." said the one he hadn't asked, in a low voice. "And our eyes are red and always hurt. You've had your job for too long, you see. You should always be getting new jobs and having something happen to them."
"But I like my job!" said Ancoysnd, indignantly. "I had the answers for the questions all ready, and several ideas for new products, and the pay's good!"
"Exactly." said the one he had originally asked. "Which is why you need a new job you won't last long in, so the cycle can start again."
"And yet it has to be something that will make him encounter the War Tavern in some way." said the one who hadn't last talked. "Otherwise the gag will be gone, and it'll just be running."
"I'LL be running as soon as I get my second wind back." said Ancoysnd, who had just realized that gum wasn't a very efficient method of holding people.
"Oh, no you won't." said one of the apparent running gag police, though it was unclear which one. "Even if you break out from your incredibly tough bonds, we brought backup."
And then Ancoysnd heard an incredibly ominous sound.
"Hello, consumer, yes hello, consumer, bah bup bada bah, BeBop Cola!"

[Violet CLM]

Ancoysnd froze, allowing the running gag police to drag him along with greater ease. True, the timeline he had encountered BeBop Cola machines in had been erased in some weird method, but the subconscious of his subconscious was telling him they were to be bewared of.
Evidently, there was little hope of running away in that direction, and most other directions were covered by the two running gag police. But which direction was the machine in? Being dragged along the ground, he was unable to see it, so no matter which direction he tried to make a break in, he might run into it.
Of course, he wondered, can a cola machine move? He knew they were to be bewared, but no specifics. The worst it could do, he reasoned with himself, was shoot soda cans at him.
"Hello, consumer, yes hello, consumer, bah bup bada bah, BeBop Cola!" came again, to reassure Ancoysnd that it was still there. And.. it was the same volume. Apparently the thing, somehow, could move after all.
Tied up in gum, dangerous cola machine on one side, muscular running gag police on two others. Ancoysnd was quite at a loss for plans..
..but then it struck him. The perfect idea. Why hadn't it occured to him before?

"LESS FILLING!" screamed Batty, for no apparent reason, as the argument began to subside. As 'Faceless' Jim Bobo had predicted, none of them really remembered what it had been about, even Derald and Donald, whose rally flag had been torn to shreds and eaten.
"Hey, Hesheit, you ok?" asked Ducky, worridly, as the afore mentioned name climbed out from under the cherry table.
"No." groaned Hesheit, convulsing. "I landed on my injured arm, and now it's injured, only more so."
"Here I come to shave the day!" was heard from outside, as ULTRA NURSE! ran in, with a makeshift cape made of stiched together bandages. "Who's the invalid?"
"He is." said Slayer, pointing at Hesheit.
"She is." said Cobra, pointing at Hesheit.
"It is." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, pointing at Hesheit.
"Hesheit is." said Kovu, pointing at.. oh, you get the idea.
"Say no more!" cried ULTRA NURSE!, and in a moment was at the paitent's side. "How'd you get so injured?"
"I was in a fight with some Giant Evil 3D Lizards that turned into a football match." said Hesheit, matteroffactedly.
"..... and how did it get worse?" asked the questioner, after deciding it was best not to persue the original line of inquiry.
"I was hit.. under this table. And I landed on my arm."
"I see." said ULTRA NURSE!, nodding her head understandingly. "What hit you? Hernia?"
"No.." said Hesheit, pointing at Ducky, who had admittedly gone a little wild during the argument. "her.. knee. Ugh."
"That's what I said." said ULTRA NURSE!, and then to the others, "Brain damage, too.
"Well, looks like you're out of commission for a while. Unless.."
There was a forboding silence, but Cobra kicked it out, because it was underage.
"I've got this new potion which is supposed to cure injuries such as this, but it's never been tested." said ULTRA NURSE!, musingly. "Want to try it, or let the arm heal on its own?"
There was a dramatic pause, who had aquired some ID and was thus allowed to stay for the needed period.
"Ok." said Hesheit, and downed the potion. Then everything went funky-swirly..

[JJ BBoy KS]

Lol, Unknown. :p



Hesheit laid his head back on the floor as the room around him spun like mad while flashing colors danced around. Then it was all normal again.

"Hey!" He exclaimed. "My arm feels great! I'm okay again!" He lifted his head, and looked around. "Why are you all looking at me funny?" "Uhh...err...uhh...." Everyone stammered, and then BBoy said, "I must be seein' things. I need another drink. *hic!*" BBoy staggered to the counter and refilled his glass. "Umm...Hesheit," Ducky said, "Y-you look uhh...different."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Hesheit looked down at himself, "AHH! NO! WHAT HAPPENED! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!? I'VE BEEN TURNED INTO A...A........Wait...what am I?" "Woah! You're fading away! I can't see you!" Said Ducky. BBoy glanced over, and his eyes widened. Then he downed the rest of the bottle. "I believe..." Batty said, "That you've been turned into a chameleon!" "What's that?" Hesheit asked. "It's a lizard that-" "WHAT!? I'M A LIZARD!?!?" "Err...yes. And the reason we can't see you is because you change colors. You chamoflauge with your surroundings." "OH NO! THIS IS AWEFUL! I'M A LIZARD OF ALL THINGS!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" Hesheit pointed at the nurse, who said, "Hey...I warned you. This stuff hasn't been tested...until now." Hesheit fainted. The nurse stood up. Ducky laughed. BBoy downed another bottle.

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!

"Cheer up!" Batty said. "At least you've still got your wits." With that, he tried to give Hesheit a hearty pat on the back.
"OW! My nose..." "Uh... On second thought-" Turning to ULTRA NURSE!, he asked "-Is there any chance of a cure for... um... lizardness?"
"Well, now that you mention it..."

[Violet CLM]

"...yes, one can safely become unlizarded." said ULTRA NURSE!, amazingly at the same time as Hesheit revived.
Hesheit had an inkling ULTRA NURSE! wasn't mentioning something here, but he/she/it didn't want to be a lizard forever (the 'Taverners might get accused of hypocrisy, attacking giant evil 3D beserk lizards, but not former companion camoflauge lizards). "Ok, I'll try that, then. Does it taste any better then the previous one?"
"I donsht know whot yur talkongs aboutsh!" cried BBoy, drunkenly. "Thatsh GRIT stuff!" He attempted to reach for another bottle of the lizard formula, but ULTRA NURSE! stopped him firmly, before handing another bottle to Hesheit's nigh-invisible lizard form. "Here you go. It should taste like a combination between rose petals and barbed wire."
This last part was obviously calculated to make Hesheit love it, but it didn't work. In the end, he/she/it drank it in a cup of pepper juice, so as to dilute the flavor, but hopefully not the effect.
Everything went swirly-funky, and when he/she/it got back, it was clear he/she/it was no longer a lizard. Hesheit had turned into a small racoon, which ULTRA NURSE! scooped up (I needed a new sidekick.." and flew away with, to bravely bandage what no nurse had bandaged before.
"Whatsh happened?" asked BBoy's voice, from the counter. BBoy did not appear to be there, however, adding to the confusion.
"Uhhh.. BBoy! Where'd you go?" asked DDay, trying to sort things out.
"Nowheres! I'm shtill right hire!"
The 'Taverners, perplexed, began looking around in dark corners, and such, until Ducky bumped into BBoy, who was still in front of the counter, only invisible.
"Oh no.. just how much of that lizard formula did you drink?" asked Ducky, worridly. After all, invisible people could steal drinks without anyone noticing.
"Two bottlsh!" cried BBoy's invisible voice, exuberantly. "Itsh gets 12 out off 9!"
And while they were wondering about what to do with an invsible drunken rabbit, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ spoke up. "Ok, everyone. So BBoy's invisible. But the more pressing matter is that we need a new bartender!"
There was a low murmur as everyone digested this fact, agreed, and decided they had obviously thought of it first and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was stealing their idea.
"And so, I purpose, to see who shall be the new bartender... a CONTEST!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. There was a small cheer from the 'Taverners, and BBoy's invisble form slid off the barstool, unconscious.

[JJ BBoy KS]

"Not a bad idea, I guess" Ducky said, "But what kind of contest?" "I don't know." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ replied, "But whoever wins will be the new bartender! I'll go get some paper and we'll write down the objective and rules for." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ ran to get some paper, tripped over BBoy and fell on his face. "Watch out for that flat spot." Batty said. "That was no flat spot, my foot hit something! Did you trip me BBoy?" *no response* BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ felt around at his feet, "Aha!" He made the motion like he was lifting something up. "Is it him?" Kovu asked. "I guess so. He must've fainted. Oh well." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ set BBoy on a table and got a pencil and paper. "Okay, now what's the objective for the contest?" "Well," Ducky said, "I think we should..."

I'm too lazy to think of a contest for them. (But I will if nobody else does) :p