Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back? - by various people

[Coppertop]

Don't you mean tap-dancing on Kovu's head? http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif

[Fquist_old]

Ducky sits lonely on her chair behind the counter, beside The-flame-who-shows-up-when-the-earth-rotates..or someone. Night fire. "I don't want to get up, its too quiet. Will you get me a Rigelion Synth-ale Carrot beer?" NightFire ignores the question presented by Ducky and crouches against the counter, rubbing a glass with a none-too-clean towel. Music issues brokenly from the batted jukebox in the corner and the dim light from the chandelier and the wall torches illuminates the empty seats..."Helloo?" The setting sun cast a long shadow of a rabbit into the 'Tavern. Ducky and NightFire jumped up, NF vaulting over the counter and squinting into the reddish glow of the sun which stained the floor. "Who's tha'?"

A rabbit stepped in, rubbing its eyes..





(post by Duckster)

_________________

-Fquist

Jazz2Online (http://jazz2.nagcentral.com)

[Fquist_old]

"My eyes hurt!" Kovu shouted, roaming the red emblazoned floor.

"A customer!" Ducky suddenly surged full of energy, and bounced beside the dazed rabbit.

"Hi? Can I take your order? How 'bout a Radish Beer? Eighty percent off, today only!" Finally realising who it was, her smile faultered.

"Oh, it's only you, Kovu." Slumping back over the counted, with Night Fire in quick

pursuit.

"So...*siiiiiiiiiiigh* why ya' here?" Finally after seeing a armada of tiny dots

flying infront of his eyes, Kovu stated his mind.

"There's a party coming!"

"A party? Great! Get some drinks ready, Ducky, fetch the carrots, we've got shreding

to do!"

"No, not like that, I mean a party of EEEVILLNESS."

"...And we'll have those little frilly table cloths...and a real jukebox! And..."

"No, I mean there EEEEVILL."

"And one of those automatic straw dispensers!" Falling backward into a chair,

Kovu asked himself,

"Why do I even try?"



(post by kovu aka alec)

[Fquist_old]

The dark and long forgotten creature known only as Claw sat in the dark corner of the bar watching the spectacle of Kovu and Nightfire. Claw didn't care much for they're petty fears of this so called "evil" heading toward them. He merely wanted to rest, to finally rest. Some would call him a scoundrel, a drifter, others called him a "handy and effecient resource in the dispatching of certain people", but most would see him as a bounty hunter by trade. Claw always got the job done, he didn't care where the money came from; The turtles, the rabbits, the rabbits and their clans, it didn't matter to him. One moment he could be saving your life, the next, slicing it with his extendable and unbreakable claws (hence the name). Along with his claws came his ability (however vary painful) to absorb and re-distribute energy out his eyes. Also he was a crackshot with his Protec gun and a incredibly learned student in the martial arts of Evolian Trakta.

Kovu and Nightfire paid no attention to Claw as he nursed his rabbilobe light. They had turned their attention the outside window complaining about an eeeevil. A new client?, thought Claw. Or would it be something far more than just another job. Could it be that the reluctant Claw, along with Nightfire and Kovu, were in for adventure of their lives? Only the next few minutes could tell for sure...



(post by Claw)

[Fquist_old]

A pair of red eyes in the corner of the tavern opened up to the comment of Evilness, but they shone with delight at the sound of party.

"PARTY?!?" Batty Buddy jumped from the rafter. He went over to where Kovu had just shaken the dots from his eyes. "What's all this about a party?"

"Jeeze! Doesn't anyone listen to the whole story anymore?" said Kovu with a groan. "It's a party of EVILNESS!!!"

"What kind of games do they play at those partys?" asked Batty. "'Pin the blame on the associate'?" "How 'bout 'Justace is blind-mans bluff'?" Suggested someone else. "There isn't going to BE any games!" Kovu stated, getting a little sick of all the party referances.

"Gee... Seems like a dull party with no games. Is it one of the fancy rich guys parties with the finger sandwiches?"

"NO! LISTEN: WE'RE ALL IN MORTAL DANGE..."



Suddenly the door to the tavern exploded inwards...



(Post by Batty Buddy)

[Fquist_old]

The small group of bunnies shielded their eyes with their paws, the completely fazed Ducky stopping frozen. An enormous sandaled foot appeared outside the blown-away door, the dust clearing around it and blowing into the 'Tavern. "Hey, were's this party we're supposed to be at?" Glasses shattered off the walls as more sandals ran by. "Yeah, I'm thirsty." A feminine voice whined. NightFire, the eternally brave, went to the door. "Kovu... Titans??"

Ducky went to the door also, still chattering but slightly more unafraid now she knew the danger. "Um... Kove? Are you sure...why did you... why are we having a party with TITANS? We'll never be able to get enough drinks, much less make the hors d'oeurves!!?" She put a hand on her face, crushed. NightFire started yelling up at them. There were three of them, two males and a girl, all wearing whiteish tunics and gold bands around their heads. The girl bent down to speak to NightFire, Batty and Kove and the Claw guy stared. Ducky moaned on the floor. "Not enough champagne, even! Why doesn't someone tell me whenthey invite Titans?! When they have a PARTY?"



(post by Duckster)

[Fquist_old]

A figure dressed in black raised her heavily eyeshadowed eyes to look at the Titans. Rising up from her place at the bar, she proceeded to trip over the long hooded cloak she was wearing, and slam her head into the floor.

Getting up and rubbing her head, she said "Hey, is it even possible for the WT to run out of alcohol?"

Rubbing her head again, she said "And could someone pour me a drink?"



(post by Cobra)

[Fquist_old]

BBoy finally woke up and got up from the floor he'd fainted on. Their was a puddle of drool where his head had been. He hiccupped and sat in a chair at a table. He was so monkey drunk. Slowly he raised his head up and looked around. Everything was a blur to him, but he caught sight of the Titans. "*Hic*!" He said, "T-t-titanzz!" He yelped. He got up to run, but tripped over the table leg, and fell on his face. "OOOoooo.... *Hic*!" He groaned, and got back onto his feet. He staggared to the bar counter and sat on a stool. "*Hic*! Gimmee a b-beer!" He said, and his head fell to the counter. Ducky got behind the counter and said, "You're already so drunk you can hardly stand up! I don't think you really should have another. "I 'anna b-beer. *Hic*!" BBoy said. He put his hand out as if Ducky was going to give him one. Ducky smiled slightly and said, "Okay, you can have one. What kind do you want?" "A *Hic!* A good one." Ducky grabbed a bottle of Orange Carrot Beer, and handed it to BBoy, who put it up to his mouth and tried to drink. "You might want the top off first." Ducky said. "Oh yeah. *Hic*!" BBoy pulled the top off the bottle and put it up to his mouth, pulling his head way back. He only drank about a 4th of the bottle. The rest went down the side of his face. He slammed the emty bottle back onto the counter and smiling, he hiccupped, "Woopie!" and fell to the floor unconscouis.



(post by BBoy)

[Fquist_old]

Batty saw the bottle BBoy had drunken out of and got an idea. Reaching for it with one wing, he downed the rest of it one swig.



The titans(to Batty- keep in mind. NOT to everyone else...) turned into a herd of pink winged elephants. All the RABBITS in the room, however, were all wearing clogs.



"GOD!>hic<..." Batty said "What'sh in dish shtuff?" He then collapsed on the floor next to BBoy.



(post by Batty Buddy)

[Fquist_old]

Claw looked around the room at the spectacle of drunken rabbits, bats, and the like and decided he had had enough rest for one day and began to walk out the tavern pass the gigantic titans.

Suddenly one of the titans placed it's huge tree trunk-like leg in front of Claw.



"Where do you think you're going?" asked the male on the left.



The female looked at the strange creature known as Claw, he had a belt with a holtster for a small but formibable looking gun. Then the female looked at Claw himself. Not recognizing his species she asked, "what kind of animal are you anyway?"



Claw looked up at her in contempt, his pupiless, red eyes seemed to pierce through her. He had no visible ears on top of his head and seemed to be pretty much a humanoid except shorter and covered in dark brown fur with formibable looking jaws when he opened his mouth.



"I am no species, I am called Claw, and I would appreciate you moving out of my way," he answered.



The resulting laugh from the titans caused the crowd of people in the bar to become immediately sober and very nervous.



"Hey, uh, Claw! come here for a minute I need you to help me with something," called Ducky.



Claw didn't know her but decided to obey her, which was unusual for him.



"Do you not realize who those guys are!!!" she whispered harshly.



"It does not matter, I am leaving," grumbled Claw.



He then promptly tried to walk past the giants. One of the large males easily kicked Claw across the tavern where he grumbled in pain. Then the male rabbit placed his huge foot on the bizzare creature and slowly applied pressure to the point where Claw was gasping for air.



It was going to be a long night, thought Claw as he felt his conciousness slipping away from him.



(post by Claw)

[Fquist_old]

"Stop ittt!" hissed a white rabbit coming from the wondow box (where Ducky kept geraniums)where she had fallen asleep the previous night. "I know just how you feel." she said quietly, running her fingers through her unbrushed hair. "You don't like being away from home so you are taking it out on..." she looked down on Claw questioningly,"That...You're frighttened and..."

As she droned on, Ducky shook her head. "She's been reading those psychology books again."

"HAVE A BEER!" BlackSheep finally told the pink elephant...err, Titan. They plunked down in a seat and cheered. BlackSheep leaned over to Ducky and said, "Sherry all around, wot?"



(post by BlackSheep)

[Fquist_old]

A hoarse voice added "Wine please." It paused for a moment then wearily added "Supersize it."



(post by Cobra)

[Fquist_old]

Ducky looks sadfully at the remains of Batty and BBoy. "Ah, thats good stuff." She stuffed it on a shelf for the next unsuspecting chaps. She shook a broom at BlackSheep to ward her away from the geraniums. Kove, meanwhileness, had rushed up to the Titans and was now berating them ferociously. They rapidly-enlarging contents of the tavern watched and the Titans cowered under Kovu's strict words. They cringed! Finally, completely overcome they let up Claw. NightFire handed him a drink and he wheezed at it a few times, gulping it.

Cobra struggled to raise lashes encrusted with mascara and shadow. "How did you DO that, Kove?" Cobra impressed! What an amazing feat Kovey had accomplished. "Ah, y' just gotta knowhow t' talk to these guys," He said, nonchalantly,but beaming. Ducky watched the antics of the 'Tavern with happiness as she poured sherry for them and wine for Cobra, and sipping her own drink, the coveted beverage of Dethman, the Rigelion syth-ale carrot beer.



(post by Duckster)

[Fquist_old]

*In deep, narrator voice*

And so, the Titans had cowered at Kovu's unfriendly words, and now they rejoiced.

"I bet I can drink more than you, wahaha!" Kovu, the sort-of hero, said.

"No you can't, you wimpy-wimpy-drinky, person!" BB shouted.

"Oh yea!?" And so, many drinks later.

"But, I'll...drink more...n'...you..."



(post by Kovu aka Alec)

[Fquist_old]

Claw guzzled the drink, not caring what it was. The fact that he was nearly crushed to death made him pretty angry. He shook of the wooziness and gathered his senses. He pulled out his trusty Protec gun and extended the claws on his left arm.

"You're dead!" he yelled at the cowering titans under the table.

One of the titans stood up and regained his smug expression.

"You want to fight me? I will crush you just like I did before!" laughed the titan as he raised his foot.

This time Claw ducked and rolled to avoid the foot.

"Hacht je vask!" yelled Claw as he pulled of an impressive double handed punch into the ankle of the titan.

This in turn caused the titan to fall onto the drunken BBoy, Batty, and Ducky. Luckily they were reselient enough to crawl out from underneath the now crying giant. None of the people in the bar seemed to impressed.

"GET OUTTA MY BAR!" ordered Ducky.

Claw merely grunted a reply, took a swig from Kovu's drinking fit, then promptly left the bar. The rest of the inhabitants resumed their drinking and talking, except for, of course, the crying titan laying in the shattered remains of the bar.



(post by Claw)

[Fquist_old]

"YOW!" came a muffled voice from under the fallen titan. He suddenly rose up, being pushed by a car jack. Batty looked like the crushing pain had sobered him a little.

"QUE PASSA???" he asked. It was not his usual greating, but a real question.

"Sorry bout that, Bat." Said Ducky. "That Claw guy just knocked a titan on you."

"See. That's why I'm not a football fan."

"Not THE Titans... Oh, never mind..."



(post by Batty Buddy)

[Fquist_old]

"Football? Did someone say football?" Cobra rose from her spot and twirled around, merely to see how cool her cloak looked when she spun around. "DIY FOOTBALL! DIY DIY DIY!" She pounded her fingerless-gloved hands on the nearest surface, which was BlackSheep's head.

"HEY!"

"Sorry Sheepie!" Cobra then spun around faster, tripped on the long cloak and fell. Sheepie, willing to take whatever fate handed to her, proceeded to 'borrow' some coins that Cobra dropped.



(post by Cobra)

[Fquist_old]

BBoy, still drunk, woke up and crawled out from under the titan. "*Hic*!" He slowly wobbled to his feet. "Oh my- *Hic!* -head!" He looked over at the Titan. "*Hic!* Titans! Die!" The titan stopped crying, got up and looked at BBoy, who staggered over to him and said, "You shouldn't be in here *Hic*! I'll'm gonna sock you right on the nogginn" The Titan laughed, "HAHAHA!!! Go away you drunken rabbit, before I hurt ya!" BBoy glared, "Y-you can't herrt meeee... I'm BBoy! *Hic!* Nobody stopps me when I start somtin'. Come on, fight!" He held up his arms and klenchted his fists. The Titan laughed some more, "HAHA!!! Alright, if you want to fight..." The Titan was about to smack BBoy into the back wall, when BBoy suddenly held up his hand. "Wait a minute, I need another drink. *Hic*!" BBoy walked over and grabbed the first mug of whatever he saw on the counter. *GULP* It was gone in 60 seconds. Just kidding, that's a movie. It was gone in 2 seconds! "*Hic!*" BBoy said, then looked around. Everything was blury, but he could make out the form of some pink elephants with angel wings and purple polkadots. BBoy drank another mug full, and the titan smacked him. He went flying into the wall near the door, then fell to the floor in pain. "Wow!" He said. "This stuff has really got a kick! *Hic!*" He fainted yet again.



(post by BBoy)

[Fquist_old]

BlackSheep sat on the counter, sighing. "I'm bored." she complained to no one in particular. Cobra scratched an itch on her forehead.Nobody paid attention to her as they cheered on the drinkers. "Hey, Cobra. Wanna do somthin'?" Cobra paused for a moment, her finger on her cheek. "No." she turned back to cheer for NightFire, who had now decided he could do more than all of them, having the supreme power to kick out anyone that won over him. Black pushed through the crowd to grab Cobra's arm. "Oh c'mon. We need lives. I know a great substitute. Let's get tatoos." Cobra shrieked, "Evvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiii-" as she was pulled out of the War Tavern and into a nearby peircing shop.



(post by *BlackSheep)

[Fquist_old]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As the never-stopping sheep dragged her into the piercing shop, Cobra's brain worked furiously.

"Wait! I'll bleed to death! It's against my religion! It won't show under my fur! NOOOOOOOOO!" Cobra banged her free arm against Blackie's arms, trying to be freed. "WAit! I got a better idea! Let's put streaks of bleach in our hair, then put in blue, plum, and wine colored streaks in our hair! Then blue lipstick! Then eyeshadow that stretches out to our ears!"

It was the poor Sheep's turn to be dragged off.



(post by Cobra)

[Fquist_old]

Unknown to Blacksheep and Cobra, Claw was stalking them. Why? He was bored, no job and no money makes Claw a dull... uh... Claw. As Cobra dragged Sheep into a salon Claw jumped ontop of the roof adjacent to the salon and waited for his temporary prey to re-emerge...



(post by Claw)

[Fquist_old]

BlackSheep sat in the chair scowling at the stylist, who was making an attempt to dye her wool green. "But I don't like green!!" she protested. "Cobra, you're a party pooper!" she shouted across the room. Cobra was picking out makeup. "D'you think this one, or that one?" she asked, holding up two tubes. "Neither. Wot is that thingy?" she pointed to a slithering shadow. "It's-it's-a hippo!" the stylist said, trying to get Black to stop squirming. "A hippo? yAy!" she leaped out of the chair just as the stylist was trying to color her wool, making a mess on the seat. (Which was probably leather.)

Black bounded outside, making the bell clang.



(post by BlackSheep*)

[Fquist_old]

Cobra sighed and bounded out the door, her hair nicely streaked with blond, electric blue, and wine colored streaks. "BLACKIE! I DIDN'T FINISH MY HAIR! YOU WOULD LOOK SO CUTE IN GREEN!"

Seeing the sheep flee in terror from her, she tackled Sheep.

"YOU MUST LET ME DO YOUR MAKEUP!" Cobra screamed victoriously at Sheep. "By the way, what are you staring at?" she said, regarding Blackie's sudden wide eyed look.



(post by Cobra)

[Fquist_old]

"Look over there." Blackie pointed to a blue rabbit walking out of the tavern. Cobra turned, and her eyes also widened. It was BBoy. Still slightly drunk, he was walking out of the tavern... in a pink tutu and slippers. As he walked by them, Black Sheep asked, "Uhh... BBoy? Why are you wearing that stuff???" BBoy replied, "*Hic!* It was a dare. One of da guysh dared me to do it. He said he'd *Hic!* pay me 5 bucks. I need the money to buy another drink. *Hic!*" "Oh. Interesting..." Cobra said. "Yeah, and now I gotsh to go into 'dis buety plashe and get some junk dunn to me. Itsh alsho part of 'duh dare." "Okay... Umm... You do that." "Bye." BBoy staggered into the parlor. The two girls looked at eachother for a moment, then burst out laughing.



(post by BBoy)

[Fquist_old]

Claw lept from the ceiling of the building across the salon. BBoy stared at him with one eye wided open, as if he were trying to determine if Claw was really standing there.

"Get outta me way ya giant leprechans I gotta do somethin or yeah, somethin anda get outta my why," BBoy commanded in a drunken rage.

"Free beer at the tavern," whispered Claw.

BBoy's eyes became wide as he scrambled back into the bar.

"That wasn't very nice of you," scolded Cobra.

"Heh, I'm not a very nice person," replied Claw in his gruff voice.

"What do YOU want anyway," interrogated Sheep.

"I'm bored so I decided to stalk you. Obviously I was too sloppy in my technique, you spotted me all the way from inside the salon," explained Claw as he began to walk off.

Sheep and Cobra looked at each other with confused glances as Claw disappeared behind a corner. Would it be worth the adventure to follow the creepy creature or would it be safer to go back to dying their hair. Neither of them made an immediate response.

"Hey there ain't no free beer here! where's that leprechan!" complained BBoy as he staggred back out of the bar.



(post by Claw)

[Fquist_old]

Claw stomped out a few more times, enjoying the weird reverberation it made. He shattered a some cups and NightFire made him stop. Claw didna' like that, as you could imagine, so he crept under the counter and took a bite out of innocent Ducky's leg and proceded on his evil quest to the wine cellars.

An unidentified figure approached the bar, green and black mottled wool flavoring its already weird appearance. Ducky squints at it, rubbing her leg. "Black? Geez, COBRA looks better then you. What'd you do, get outta the chair?" She shrieks as what seems to be Black weilds her hoof at poor Ducky. "Why don't you all leave me ALONE!" She gurgled, holding her cheek and her leg.



Blacksheep warbled away, singing 'Hit me baby one more time". Ducky threw an empty bottle at her and it collided with her already drunk head. She slipped under a table occupied by several strip poker playing idiots.

The Titans sat outside having a picnic on a red and white blanket. They drank chardonnay and turnip bourbon and lolled in the snow. Cobra joined them, her gothic like appearance intriging them and Kovu sat innocently in the girlie Titans crown, stealing the gems.

Batty and BBoy toasted toast and drank more drinks. On the floor now, they chorused "My Bolgna".



(post by Duckster)

[Fquist_old]

Claw headed down into the wine celler. He knew that Sheep would decide to stalk him. He wouldn't have followed her in the first place if he saw her as unadventurous. Claw pulled out a long hair from his mouth.

"I shouldn't have bit that bartender," he mumbled.

He heard footsteps coming from the stairs. Claw quickly climbed inside a empty wine barrel, awaiting his quarry.

Meanwhile a huge alien space ship (as huge alien space ships go) hovered just outside the bar...



(post by Claw)

[Fquist_old]

Batty, still drunk, pulled a frog out of his backpack.

"She thish frog? Buy thish frog a drink, and I'll shing like shinatra... Wait a shecond.. Never mind..."



(post by Batty Buddy)



<hr>



"A frog! *Hic!*" BBoy said, excited. "Come on! Letsh fry him over da fire, and den we'll eat froggy *Hic!* legsh! Yum yum! Oh wait. I don't like frog legsh. Never mind." A bright light shone through the tavern window. It was the ship. "What'sh dat!?"



(post by BBoy)



<hr>



"It'sh the shhip." said Batty. "You shaid it wash yourshelf." He dropped the frog, which pulled out a top hat and can and danced around the tavern singing "Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my rag time gal..." etc.



Suddenly, the ship sprouted a large loudspeaker and a booming voice sounded...



(post by Batty Buddy)

[Fquist_old]

"Pigeons cannot lick thier necks!"



(post by Batty Buddy)



<hr>



"What??? Pigeonsh can't lick dare necksh??? What doesh dat mean??? *Hic!*" BBoy said. "It musht be a code of shome kind. *Hic!* Auhhh, I don't care. I'm going to sit down in the corner of da tavern and drink shome beer."



(post by BBoy)



<hr>



As BBoy and Batty walked back, a huge slimy alien stretched out a long-fingered hand and disintergrated them. Bringing them back to his ship, he re-intergrated them and placed them in a metal tank with Cobra, Claw and BlackSheep, who was scolding Cobra for screaming. Batty brought out a bit of TNT to try to blast them out...



(post by BlackSheep*)



<hr>



AARRRGGG!! How DARE YOU IMPRISON ME IN A GLASS TUBE!" demanded Claw as he pounded against the glass, which then promptly broke.

Claw shrugged his shoulders and looked at the others imprisoned in their respective glass prisons.

"You guys want out don't you..." trailed Claw with a mischevious grin.

Claw then used the handy ejection switch to "remove" the aliens from their ship. Claw then took the initiative to go to Tubeletric, the planet of sights and sounds!



(post by Claw)

[Fquist_old]

BBoy looked at Batty and said, "Hey, where'sh claw???" "He went to the tube electric planet." BB replied. BBoy jumped, "Hurray! We finally got rid of 'im! Now letsh find a way out of here. After all, dare'sh no beer here. *Hic!*"



(post by BBoy)



<hr>



"hehehehe" a voice from no where came into the tavern,

"Whut's so funny bat boy?" Bboy asked

"I'm not laughing," Batty responded,

"hahahaha, they think they can make it up the ship?!" the voice laughed again.

"Aaaw! Whiy woan't Misture Bables leave me alone?" BBoy repeated in frustration in the stage of hallucinating.

"You've got problems," Batty Buddy said,

"I've gotz provlems! Looik at youew carrying a bakpackage with you!"

"Oh jeez! What this alcohol does to you!" Kazooie, a red bird, swooped down and laughed at the sight of a disoriented rabbit.

"I is not dis ori ted!" BBoy struck back.

"DO you really think you could catch up to those guys?! YOU CAN'T EVEN FLY!" Kazooie fought back.

"Whut matters iz whose faster!" BBoy said

"Would you like a race?" Kazooie said, plotting a track to catch up with the others.



(post by Kazooie)



<hr>



"I'll race ya." Batty said. "Bboy may not be able to fly, but I can."

"Ok." said Kazooie. "But NO rocket packs, fans, or anything made by ACME is allowed..."



"...Oh, you wanna get LOGICAL on me, eh." Gulped Batty.

(note to anyone who want's to write the race, if any, Kazooie may be faster then me, but then since I'm a toon, I'm not above cheating a tad... Just make sure ACME's not involved.)



(post by Batty Buddy)

[Fquist_old]

And then the race be STARTED!

Batty decided to use a... service. Sorta. He flew to American Airlines and got a ticket to the end. Kazooie was at the 1/2 part by the time Batty got to their airport in Seattle from Talahasse. Kazooie and Batty ended up tying. "Great! This means I win," said Batty.

"Nu-uh!" shouted Kazooie.

"But I was supposed to WIN!"

Suprisingly, Night Fire burnt out. They decided to light Night Fire up again! THe day was called "Argue and Fire Day".



The beginning.



(post by KRSplat)

[Ice M A N]

And then BBoy won while Kazooie and BAtty were arguing. That means BBoy's disqualified, because... because... No contestents with 2 b's in their name are allowed to win. And just 'cause I say so.



Then ACME came along...



(Post by KRSplat)

[Ice M A N]

"Hey, lookit the gadgets!" BlackSheep exclaimed, reaching out and touching a wire, getting zapped in the process.

Cobra grabbed her by the paw. "Don't touch ANYTHING."

"Okay, okay..." leaning over to Claw, she said, "This is what we get for bringing an admin with us."

Cobra swatted at her as they crept along. Claw pointed at something ahead. "What is that?"

"I don't know." Cobra said, making an attempt to see arond Claw.

"It's--a bird?" He guess as it came rocketing into his stomach, knocking him over.



(Post by BlackSheep*)

[Ice M A N]

It was a bird. In fact, it was Kazooie. "What was that for???" Claw said with what air he could breath after getting hit in the stomache. "I heard that you bet against me in the race because you said you thought I a slow little weakling of a bird! That was to show you otherwise." "Who told you that?" "Batty." "I think he did that just to make you go away and attack me. I never did or said that." "Hmmm.... I'd better go beat up Batty." Kazooie left. BBoy came running up to them. "Hey, who's the judge of the race that just took place!?" He yelled. "Blacksheep." Cobra said. She didn't know, but she just said it. BBoy stormed up to Blacksheep and yelled, "What do you mean, that a creature with two B's in his name can't win!? Doesn't that mean that Batty Buddy can't win either???" "He didn't. Nobody won. It was all a tie." "But I DID win!!!" No you didn't. You have to B's in your name." "AURGH!!!!! THAT'S NOT FARE!!!!!" BBoy yelled. "Well, why don't you go talk to the judge about it." "You're not the judge?" "No. Cobra just said I was, but I doubt that she even knew there was a race going on." "Forget it." BBoy left.



(Post by BBoy)

[Ice M A N]

"Not again!" Cobra cried spotting a violet star. Following the star was a red star.

"This thing is full of plot holes, speaking of which, there's a hull breach somewhere in here," Ducky commented,

"WHAT?!" everyone else chimed in. It was true, the hole that Kazooie had made, when hitting Claw, was leaking out precious oxygen!

"... someone should do something about that," Cobra said,

"TOSS ALL UNNESSCEARY OR UNWANTED LUGGAGE TOWARDS IT!" Ducky barked. She looked around almost ripping a control panel from it's sockets. "Eurika!"

"That's not how you spell Eurika," Claw said unable to spell it any better due to lack of literacy from narrator. Ducky rushed towards the chair behind Cobra.

"hey!" Ducky acknowledged and quickly stopped. She then ran for Cobra instead!

"NO! BACK! Back Simba!" Cobra yelled and created an ice wall from frost bites which got conviently sucked like a dam into the breach. Cobra signed at her quick-wittednessness

"I woulda gotten away with it too if it weren't for those meddling ki- frost bites too!" Ducky mumbled under her breath.

"Git mea ouf te winsheld..." Kazooie yelled inside, the bat and him were stuck on the windshield.

"Where are we heading again" Ducky asked.

"..."



(Post by Kazooie)

[Ice M A N]

"Great, Medivo will have to do as a crash landing spot," muttered Claw as he tried to steer the ship with what was left of the control pannel.

Cobra quickly pulled in Batty Boy and Kazooie inside the ship, which was quickly depressurizing.

"Hang on to you butts," grumbled Claw as they entered into Medivo's stormy atmosphere.

"What do you think you're doing ya crazy... crazy... Claw!" yelled Kazooie as he attempted to define Claw's species.

Suddenly the ship went from freezing cold (due to the cold vastness of space yada yada yada) to blazing hot as it began to burn up in the sky.

Soon the bizzare group of rabbits, bird, and uh, Claw were stranded near a dark and typicaly evil looking castle...



(Post by Claw)

[Ice M A N]

"Great! Somebody knock and see if Igor is home." Batty deadpaned. "So, anybody wanna go in first?" asked Claw.

"How about YOU?" Bboy said pointing at Batty. "ME? WHY ME?" "Well, your a bat and all, you guys are used to spooky old castles and darkness." "Yes, but personally, I only venture into evil areas on days starting with an X." "No need to be a chicken, bat." Claw grabbed Batty and tried to shove him in. Batty spread his wings out to prevent this. "HEY WAIT! I GOT AN HONEST FAIR WAY OF DOING THIS!!!" He pulled out four straws and held them in one wind. "We draw straws. Longest has to go in."

Bboy drew first, his was about a half an inch. Batty drew one that was a centimeter.

Kazooie drew one that was a foot long. "HA! KAZOOIE GOES IN FIRST!" Shouted triumphantly.

"Not so fast. Draw yours." "But your wing isn't all that big." Batty pulled out a cowboy hat from his backpack and pulled out a six-shooter. "Draw, pilgrem." he said in a country western accent.

"Claw drew his straw. It was three or four miles long and had a note tied to the end of it saying 'Tough luck, Claw boy!'

Claw, grumbled into the castle.

"Glad I got teliscoping straws." Smeirked Batty.



(Post by Batty Buddy)

[Ice M A N]

Claw had all but entered the castle when Alantriam fell from above, slamming Claw on (his or her's?) back. "I'll go...(mumbling: weakling)"



(Post by Alantriam)

[Ice M A N]

"*Hic* Tha' was kewl, stuff falling out of

the sky..." BBoy managed. Suddenly, Kovu

fell out of the sky in a similair fashion.

"Uh, how'd you guys do that?" Cobra asked.

"Well..." Kovu began, and everything became

all wiggly...

*One Hour Before*

"Who want's a drinking contest?!" Kovu shouted.

"I'll out drink you!" Batty said, and thus they began drinking. As the drinking began,

Claw bit Ducky on the leg and BlackSheep came in in a sort of confused rage, colored

oddly.

"Urg, I can't take anymore..." Batty said and wandered away from the nearly unconcious

Kovu.

"The *hic* cowerd." Alantiam, who was also competing, said.

"Yea, *hic* I'm gonna go steal some of those Titan's gems, 'kay?"

"Okie, *hic* I'm gonna go to th' bathroom." And so the two wandered off.

*Fifty minutes later*

Kovu came back into the Tavern, more sober now, covered in his pilfered gems.

"Waha!" Looking around, he asked a nearby drunkard.

"Hey, where's Alantiam?"

"He went o'er there 'bout an 'our go *hic.*"

Kovu, concerned about how a android could go to the bathroom for an hour, how a android

even could go to the bathroom, ducked his

head into the bathroom. And then he was

falling...



(Post by Kovu aka Alec)

[Ice M A N]

Claw rubbed his head as he sized up Alantriam.

"Hmmmm... I should like to follow this one," muttered Claw, smiling at the stranger's arrogance.

"I don't want you following me," Alantrium said, pointing at Claw.

"Do you even know what you're getting yourself into?" asked Claw, a smirk on his face.

Alantrium looked at the foreboding castle before then looked back at Claw with a similar smirk, "I can handle it."

"That's Van Kaiser's castle, some say his sword was the most powerful in the universe and the moest well guarded in the universe," explained Claw admiring the dark castle.

"You don't think I can handle it? I'll prove it to you!" exclaimed Alantrium as he stormed into the castle.

Claw sighed in resignation, he had better keep an eye on him.



(Post by Claw)

[Ice M A N]

Kovu.... wandered around a bit. after all the ups and downs of the last few posts he was rather dizzy..he seemed to be falling quickly. Then he sort of fell ONto something, and he bounced some, down into a large patch of lettuce. A light cam from a corner. Kove grapped some lettuce to eat and stepped towards it, carrying his jewels. "Alantrium?" he yelled worriedly. But then, as his eyes adjusted,he discovered the toilet was just a secret passage to the wine cellars which had been occupied by Claw moments before. Kove went up to the light found a still-drunk Alantrium trapped in an insane disco with Blackie. He screeched loudly as he was flung around. There were some strange bananas in the corner at the time, Kovu recalled later for the police.

Claw skulked around the corner of the castle that had come from nowhere. Suddenly he drew back in surprise; this wasn't a castle at all! It was a plywood front made for someone's bright green house. He stole back to the 'Tavern in a towering rage, pausing to consider biting someone else but remembered the fur in his mouth. He settled with eating a stale donut which crunched satisfyingly.

Ducky watched the disco. Blackie, at least, was having fun, even if Al wasn't. She took a sip of her drink and was flung across the room off her chair with Kovu at her back; he had savagely been the nearest person to Claw who was still steaming about the castle. They crashed into the wall. "Um, Kove....Kovu?" Ducky pinched the dangling brown ear in front of her. "Kove? Are you getting up?My drink is spilled...." Kovu bargained. "Get me a drink and I'll get up."

"You have to get up first."

"Then I'm not doing it."

Besides, his back hurt where Claw had whacked him. Why should he get up?

The man of the moment, Claw, now relaxed a bit and slightly drunk from the donut chatted amiably with Batty.



The Titans, outside with their sherry roared and laughed hopelessly. One of them rolled into the girl, and her crown slipped off her head. "Heeeheee, guess whaaat?" The titan glanced at him. "Wha--"

Inside the 'Tavern, everyone heard the sound of inevitability..



(Post by Duckster)

[Ice M A N]

A neigh outside alerted Ducky. Then a big grey horse broke the door down. "Hey! I liked that door! Whaddaya do that for?" Asked Ducky. The grey rabbit on the horse's back shrugged and jumped down. "I didn't do it," she smiled. Then she went into the Tavern and ordered a drink.



(Post by Coppertop)

[Ice M A N]

The possibilities of drunken insanity...



"Pickle!" Claw screamed, the affects of

the unusually high alcohal content of doughnuts. (Ducky thought of it, blame her!)

No one minded much, though, as they were all thouroughly drunk.

"Gimme a pickle, or the horse gets it!" Claw snached the horse that had wandered into

the Tavern.

"NEEEEEEEE!" Was the most intelligble thing from the horse. Across the Tavern, Ducky

was attempting to carry on a conversation with...a wall.

"Y'know...sherry...I think that all this...sherry...is imparing my brain...sherry...y'know? Sherry,

sherry, sherry, sherry, sherry."

"I don't know 'bout that, Ducky." Returned the wall.

BBoy was standing, curiosly outside, in the newly born night, staring scrutinizly at

the stars.

"Yea...I'm watchin' you, n' don't make any sudden movements.......Eh! Polaris! Sit back

down!"

And then, for no reason at all, Batty threw himself at a giant vat of butter. Not that

there were any giant vats of butter in the

Tavern, for Batty had no idea where he wandered to.

"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!"

"I'm not getting up. Nope, ain't doing it. The universe could be collapsing around me

and I STILL wouldn't get up!" Kovu drawled

on...



(Post by Kovu aka Alec)

[Ice M A N]

Batty found that it was not butter he'd flung himself into, but the door that led to the cellar downstairs. The door he'd hit, broke open, and he went tumbling down the steps. "Oof! Ouch! Oog! Augh! Urk! Gwoof!" SPLAT!!! He hit the bottom. He pulled his face from the floor with one hand, and looked up. There in front of him was all the wine he could ever dream of. "YIPPEEEE!!!! WE'VE HIT THE JACKPOT BOYS!!! I'VE FOUND GOLD!!!!!!" He started chugging the wine.



"HEY! I see that!" BBoy yelled at a shooting star. "'Don't move' I said!" BBoy pointed to another shooting star and yelled, "Hey! You, Shooting star! Drop that gun. Just because your a shooting star, doesn't mean you get any weapons to shoot!" BBoy suddenly tripped over a tree root, and started stumbling around to keep his balance. He stumbled into the tavern and bumped into Ducky, who was still trying to talk to the wall. "Hey!" Ducky yelled at him. "No butting in! Can't you see I'm talking!?" BBoy looked at the wall confused. "You're talking to a wall???" He asked her. She yelled, "I said don't interrupt me!" "No you didn't. You said don't butt in." "I know what I said. Don't correct me!" "I'll correct you if I want." BBoy said back. Claw grabbed BBoy and spun him around, saying, "Hey. Don't fight with her!" Then he threw BBoy down the stairs to the cellar. "Oof! Ouch! Oog! Augh! Urk! Gwoof!" SPLAT!!! He hit the bottom. He got up and saw Batty. His stomach was bigger than usual. "*Hic!* Here. You c'n have the rist. *Hic!* I mean rest." Then Batty staggered up the stairs drunker than ever. He'd drinken four large barrels of wine. "Wow, gee thanks!" BBoy started chugging the wine.



(Post by BBoy)

[Ice M A N]

the dark hallways were lined with the generally stereotypical signs of evil. Pentagrams, goat skulls, skeletons, and (gasp) sunflower seeds... I shivered at the thought of what pure evil they must bring...



I was sort of surprised that a castle of such demonic means didn't have ghost flying around or undead skeleton guards.

It all seemd a bit too easy so I flipped out my "super-dooper-pooper-skooper" and prepared for whatever may lurk in the dark corridors ahead.



(Post by FreeLance57)

[Ice M A N]

Kazooie just slowly backed away... these guys were alcoholics.

"'ey... howsabouta drink..." BBoy swayed over to him falling.

"I gotta get outta here before I get drunk," Kazooie said walked away to find intelligent life.

The halls were evil! An aura of pure darkness floated through them, surely this must be the source of some evil, some power, something worth exploring. "YaY! Something other than beer!" the crazed bird yelled and ran down the hall.



(Post by Kazooie)

[Ice M A N]

My SDPS-5.7 was locked and loaded and ready to fire. I continued walking along, a nagging hangover type headache bitting at the base of my skull. (gasp) it wasn't a headache! It was a rat! My eyes popped open. How long had I been asleep on the floor of the demonic castle? Days? Hours? Minutes? Seconds? Years? Months?



(Post by Alantriam)

[Ice M A N]

As mentoind before, Kazzoie the crazed bird ran down the hal. At least he would have if the hall had actully been there. You see, Kazooie had accidently gotten drunk from the fumes and had imagined evil, a hall etc... There fore, what he thought was a hall was actully steps which led down into the celler. Curious, everyone drunk at the moment followed...



(Post by Unknown Rabbit)

[Ice M A N]

Claw rubbed his head, a strong hangover from the drugged donut soon developed. His left hand had his claws extended under the neck of a big ol' horse. Coppertop stood before him, arms crossed, obviously not pleased at all.

"You mine not holding my horse hostage?" she asked as she tilted her head.

"Yeah, no prob," muttered Claw as he backed away from Ironheart and tried to regain as much dignity as possible.

"This is insane, first it's titans, then it's UFOs and fake castles and now poisonous donuts! I'm outta here!" Claw exclaimed as he turned around and promptly ran into a wall, sending Claw into a mad, frustrated rage only anttainable by those who are not used to such... absurdeness



(Post by Claw)

[Ice M A N]

sis... ure... chrome... ux...



that's what Kazooie kept hearing, he was drunk from the fumes but something else was messing around with this story. The setting was changing too fast. What he wouldn't give for a floor that would stay idle.

"Oi nead a digital picture Sammy gurl!" Kazooie managed to say from second hand drinking. A sort of green visor appeared out of nowhere giving information about the castle and it's active walls.

"Stop ya toying with those fancy glasses and just have a drink," BBoy suggested. No, he couldn't, something wasn't right. First we were in the tavern, then a ship, then a grass land, then a castle, then back into a tavern and wine mine.

"Let's take a looksie," Kaz mumbled to himself, " Titanium alloy, plastic, aluminum, states of flux, bombs, guns, stone, wood, everything checks in." For the time being everything seemed fine, just dandy... ...



The kiwala was laughing.



(Post by Kazooie)

[Ice M A N]

I checked my SDPS, everything was right. I checked my watch. I had been out of it for about ten minutes. I was still in the castle. The walls seemed to close in on me, then pop back to normal.



I could hear laughter above me and drunk screams. I looked behind me, and the hall kept going behind me as far as it did in front of me. I knew I hadn't travelled that far.



The floor above me opened up in an almost biomechanical way and I could see people drinking and eating above me. It was the Tavern. I jumped up and grabbed the edge of the hole, lifting myself up into the big smoke filled room.



"Alantriam...where've you been?" it was FreeLance, my other half.



"Like you don't know. You're the one writing me."



(Post by Alantriam)

[Violet CLM]

Suddenly a comet hit right next to the War Tavern! Nobody noticed, of course.

(Not exciting enough, hmmm.......)

Suddenly Kazooie blew up the moon with some help with Cheeze!

(No....)

Suddenly Ducky ate Tweety!

(Oops! Wrong topic!)

Alantrium looked around the War Tavern. He was bored. Freelance walked up to the Bar and ordered a Rock. The bartender, not being there at the moment, handed Alantrium a small pebble. Freelance ate it and shot the door off. BBoy got mad, had a drink and fell to the ground, unconscious. Alantrium went to the cellar, got a big tub of beer and poured it over the upstair part of the War Tavern. Everyone cheereed Freelance.







_________________

Tell me how to make the Jazz Boss that

was used in SXR for my "Easter Eggs"

level in my Carrotus episode. I cannot

finish the episode without the level!

[Tanpopo Kiku]

?*confused*? http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_mad.gif



*sigh* I would put something here but *sigh* I ruin everything it seems...



Go ask Tubbs if you would like his input. I am not a merrymaker like he is.



(I think he wanted to say something but..)

[*BlackSheep]

"Get away from that vat!" Ducky swatted FL and tried to shoo everyone away, which did NOT work.

"This job shoulda come with a good stick!" she grumbled and left them to thier own devices.

As they fought over the carrot beer, a thin body clutching a crooked dagger lurked behind them.

[Coppertop]

Coppertop lurked in the shadows, one paw on her sword. She did not trust some of these ppl, especially the undrunks. Batty flapped by, moaning something about a headache, while Kovu sat outside chattering away with the Titans. BBoy was on the floor, grinning stupidly and staring at everyone. Kazooie slumped on the counter, and one of his pals shook him and muttered. "Kash, we havnt finished thish bottle yet," he slurred, then abruptly colappsed beside the bird. Copper shook her head exasperatedly. Claw walked by, about to hit a stool, and she deftly rescued the furniture from his claws. She wouldn't want to be standing in front of him when his hangover really hit; there'd be a mass murder. She sighed and moved to the back of the crowd, and that was when she saw the strange creature. . .

[Violet CLM]

It was Elias. The reason for his dagger was not obvious at all, he looked around, the place was full of drunks. He planned to join them. He had lost the thing most precious to him, his amulet. Oh, there it was! On the floor! Silly Elias. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif Elias, relived, walked up to the bar and ordered a carrot on the rocks with cream. Admael gave it to him and held out her paw for the cash. Elias looked at her, looked surprised and said: "Hey babe!" http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gifhttp://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gifhttp://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif



P.S. No, I am not Elias. I'm just a big fan of him and Cheeze, they are cool.



P.P.S. I like to edit my messages.

[Ducky]

Um, let me try to make sense of this in my own mind before I attempt to reply. Uhhh...I hope you didn't mean that thing to be someone in particular...Blackie..



Kovu chattred innocently with the Titans, they unaware that he was the possesor of their coveted jewels. Batty and Bboy were still cowering under the counter, no doubt devising an evil conspiracy in their drunken minds.

Lancie and Alantriam, followed closely by Claw argued their way around the Tavern.



CT and BlackSheep saw the strange figure at the same time, a thin old fox was huddled at the corner of the 'Tavern. He had long, dark grey hair and wore a cloak that hung loosely on his weak frame. He was holding a crooked dagger which he swiveled nervously from paw to paw. Ducky leaned over to see what Blackie was looking at and toppled over the counter, having squeezed out from under Kovu. "Ow! Hey, who's that?" The fox turned his misty eyes on her. Ducky was nervous under his stare. "Hey, y' want a drink?" she asked hesitantly. "I'll get you a carrot coffee on the house..." Her voice trailed off. The fox regarded her, then scuttled past her, still not speaking. He moved quickly, sat down next to Elias and stuck his knife into the table. Ducky poured him a drink and his odd eyes took in the Tavern. He drew out a piece of paper and a pen. Writing in thin spidery cursive, Blackie read over his shoulder. "My name is Xavier.." "His name is Xavier, Ducky," said BlackSheep loudly. Ducky looked over from her perking coffee. "Hi Xavier," she said, trying to sound casual. "Don't you talk?" The fox fixed her with his pale stare, but transferred it down to the page and began writing in script on the other side. "I left from Medivo three years ago..." he wrote.



Well, sorry...http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

So now there are TWO figures in the Tavern with daggers?

[Coppertop]

Looks like it

[Violet CLM]

Maybe we should throw out the fox? I mean,

"The next chapter of the War Tavern" is supposed to be

the epic scary one. Isn't "War stories, continued" supposed

to be a lot of humorous insanity? Like the first part of the

second post of the second page:



"PICKLE!" Screamed Claw.



(Not an exact reproduction)

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Tubbs started to say something but he gave up halfway. I'm very sorry about this.



And Melissa, she's not registered. Although she does giggle a lot.



I give up. I can't think of anything to say. Sorry.

[Ducky]

You are supposed to have twisty plots, they always get cleared up in some stupid way that could never work. I just didn't see that other post about Elias.

:P

Sorry.

`Ducky

[Tanpopo Kiku]

I have no sense of humor. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_mad.gif

[Kaz]

hahaha

[Ducky]

Geez, what Kaz said.

`Ducky

[Ducky]

Geez, what Kaz said.

`Ducky

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Here's one by Melissa, a six-year-old:



Tubbs and Melissa jumped off the plane while it was taking off. "Hey, this is fun!" Tubbs said.



"That was dumb," complained Melissa, as she fell through the air. "You should stop falling off cliffs, hanging from trees, and jumping out windows. I have a bad feeling about this."



Yup. They both looked down and saw that they were going to fall through the roof of War Tavern.



"Yo!" shouted Kiku, who was standing on the ground. "Why don't you fall on Epic's building instead?"



"Sure!" replied Tubbs. "After I fall on War Tavern, we can start by going on the curb. Then we can hop on cars that pass by at high speeds."





Sounds stupid enough? I hope so!

[Violet CLM]

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" shouted Melissa as her and Tubbs fell through the air towards the War Tavern. Inside it, Admael was chasing Elias in a circle with an enchanted broom and Xavier was still writing. "They kicked me out because I was a fox, the other reason that I watched Cannibal Feud on the only TV all the time. I flew away to the War Tavern, where I wished to seek hei___ . ... ." The roof broke to make a change from the door and Tubbs and Melissa both landed on Xavier, squashing him.

Nobody in the Tavern seemed very peturbed by this, going back to whatever they had been doing at the time. Melissa was kicked out for being underage and Elias went flying out the door from a whack with the magical broom. Tubbs, bored, jumped on to the bar and started tap-dancing.

[JJ BBoy KS]

Kiku looked over at Tubbs and said, "Tubbs, since when did you start knowing how to tapdance!?" "Huh?" Tubbs looked up for a moment, then tripped over his own feet and fell off the counter onto his face. "Are you all right?" BBoy asked. "Oh, he's fine. He always falls like that. Most the time, it's on purpouse. He likes it." Kiku replied. "Yeah," Tubbs said, getting off the floor, and putting his bent nose back in place. "It's fun." Suddenly, out of the hole in the roof, a brown possum fell onto the counter. "Hello 'yall!" A dog followed him. "Could I get a drink, do ya think?" "Who are you!? *Hic!*" BBoy asked. "The names Skitch. I'm from another video game." The possum replied. "Video game!?" BBoy said. "Yeah. It isn't finished yet though, and I was bored, so I thought I'd come here. So... Could I get a drink???" The possum hopped down to the floor. His dog followed.

[Ducky]

I gave the possum a drink. I was beginning to expect all manner of weird things after Xavier and the stuff that was happening, so a li'l possum visiting from another forum didn't bother me. This rabbit tap dancing on the counter did, though. He wasn't even doing it right. I slapped a glass of Braggarian Goo in his hand in hopes that he would sit down and go tell a story of bravery, or at least get off my counter.

It didn't work.

Drastic times called for drastic measures, and I seized the dusty flyswatter from off the wall beside the cup racks and started laying about with it.



Meantimes,

Kove still babbled with the Titans. He had discreetly passed his gems to his accomplice, unbeknownst to him that the accomplice had no idea of giving them back.



The rest of the Kiku fam seemed to have assembled over a large fondu pot in the center of a table. The were stabbing rather lethally with their fondu forks, as the oil lamp in their corner was empty. They awwaited the company of their brother who seemed content to lie on my counter.



The Unknown and Bboy and the rest of the flocks had settled down at the arcade games in the corner, and Lancielot and his alternate self Alantriam were glowering at each other over stiff drinks in one of the brightest dark corners.

The jukebox was playing a danceable song, some of the rabbits were dancing now, some unknown couples sort of slithered in and melted into the crowd on the floor.

The fox decided no one cared what happened to him, stuck his G'bye message of the board and dissapated. No one really missed him. He had been intresting while he lasted, but he didn't talk enough.

Some drunks toppled to the floor from a nearby table. I wiped out a glass and handed it to NightFire. "I'm going to go have afew drinks with Blackie," I said, "Take over." I poured us some frothy pale purple Tsrainian catinae juice and wobbled over to Blackie. "Hey!" I said, flopping down, "Brought you a drink! Want a gome of killer? Lets see if we can get Kove and the rest t' play!"

Black chugged her drink and immediately brightened.

I sipped mine, with foreign beverages it is best to be careful.





Oops, that was too long.

`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

Slightly weird things that make no difference here:

1. Xavier gets squashed then leaves.

2. Melissa gets kicked out and comes back in.

3. Unknown... Wait, I DID say I was a regular now in "The Next Chapter of the War Tavern", didn't I? Unless we're using the war flashack...

Story part that shouldn't make much sense:



Kovu, while sitting with the titans that had been there since the story began, was sitting in a leather couch. "Where did that couch come from?" asked Tubbs, looking out the window. Mr. Knowitall walked in and said "Cobra brough it here in Another Story." Most rabbits there rushed to the computer in hopes of reaching Jazz 2's homecooked levels, after all, it is ONLY the second most downloaded level pack on J2O. Mr. Knowitall resumed "No, no! Not that Another Story, "To the North!" in the War Tavern. With that, he vanished. Unknown Rabbit, playing Space Invaders with coins he had found in the leather couch, was one of the only to know what that meant as HE read messages and topics on the JCF.



Now for some random occurances!

Skitch ate a Dopefish.

Tubbs got off of the bar and started tap dancing on Kovu's head.

The dead girl, Kiku, clapped for somebody, won't tell you who.

(I'm PRETTY sure she is dead.)

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Dead? *mad* And I can talk to people who are alive?



Hmmmm, I didn't know this was Star Wars...

[Violet CLM]

I though you said you were dead?

BTW, I made that so choppy because I was late for rehearsals. Well, back to seeing what is new!

[Ducky]

Oh my gosh! Kiku! Thats not you, is it? But your dead! But--I can see you! gasp! But that means--



Figger it out. Where are we? Oh. Well, its still someone elses turn, I just wrote a novel.

`Ducky

[JJ BBoy KS]

Kovu moved a little, and Tubbs fell to the floor. "Oof! Wow that was fun!" He said. "I didn't think so." Kovu replied. "Hey, have y'all played my noo gaem? *Hic!*" Skitch asked. He was drunk. "No." Kazooie answered him. "Oh. Well datsh probably becauze it'sh not out yet. *Hic!* It'sh fun though." "Well, how do you know if it's fun, if it's not out yet???" "Becauze, I'm in it!" Skitch grabbed a highly achoholic beverage off the counter, and chugged in in 2 gulps. Then his head fell to the counter and he was out like a light. "Wow, I didn't know that drink could be chugged that fast!" Bluez said. Suddenly a large brick fell from above. It landed on the Tubbs, and knocked him to the floor. Everybody looked up and saw......

[Violet CLM]

ANTI-TUBBS! Tubbs, out like a light, did not notice one bit. Hey, wouldn't YOU be out like a light if a BRICK fell on your head? Kiku, whose very existence is not proved in either way, looked on calmly. ANTI-TUBBS proceeded to throw bricks in every direction until the Tavern was covered with bricks. ANTI-TUBBS then proceeded to superglue the brick together. "Ha! Now Nobody can get in or out!" How little did he know just how right he was. Before he could continue with his evil ANTI-TUBBS plan however, a Newbie walked up and accidently shot his head off. "Oops!"

To be continued in the next installment...... By someone else.......

[Coppertop]

I'M not a Newbie.



Copper was grouching because one of the Amazing Flying Bricks had spilled her drink. The ANTI-TUBBSTHINGY went flying because a - a -a big tornado came down and sucked it up! And then when it was allowed out it was too dizzy to continue ANTI-TUBBSING.

[*BlackSheep]

Suddenly, as if from no where, a blade came whizzing out from under one of the tables and sunk into the back of FreeLancie's skull. Alantriam contiuned to glare at him, then realized there was a knife in his head.

"MY HALF!! HE'S DEAD!!!" he screamed, clutching his metal spiney hair. Blood dripped down poor Lancie's body and ran to the floor. "Nobody move!" yelled Tubbs. "In the murder movies, I've seen murders! Nobody leaves!"

"FreeLance and I had the same shoe size, and he had promised me that if he got whacked I could have his boots. They were rubber, you know, real expensive... but they're pretty much ruined now. It's so sad..." said Kovu.

"He was my FRIEND!" wailed Ducky on Blackie's shouler, who was also wailing on hers.

[Violet CLM]

Suspects:

Tubbs: He seems to like murders.

Unknown Rabbit: Freelance was hunting him down.

Kovu: He wanted Freelance's boots.

Alantrium: No reason yet found except he's the logical suspect.

Everyone else in the Tavern at the time: Oppurtunity.



Culprit: Dethman! He's killing off the JCF, one user by another user!

*Dethman walks in, throws out the detective and leaves*



P.S. They couldn't leave anyway, the Tavern is covered in superglued bricks!

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Cobra said that I am not actually dead, but I can simply be in another dimension (the 4th). That way I can come back any time I want to. That gives me an advantage.



Never mind. I was paying too little attention. Forget it.



Let the ruthless ones fight. They'll win anyway.



_________________

Tubbs loves dangerous activities. He jumps out windows, falls off cliffs, hangs upside down from trees, and likes skydiving.



This message has still not, and will never be, edited by FreeLance 57...

[Violet CLM]

I think they're called "Choppers".

Oh, and WHY to you want THEM?????????

[Tubbs]

Forget it also. I neglected to read the fine print.



Let the ruthless ones fight. They'll win anyway.

_________________

Tanpopo Kiku, Empress of the Nerds, is mad all the time. That's not very cool, is it?

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Um...I want to scream at you. Everyone. Including Alantrium.

[Violet CLM]

"I did it," said Unknown Rabbit, "I'm a creature of habit, I klled Freelance 57."

*Everyone except Freelance looks at Unknown Rabbit.* "Um.... April Fool?"



P.S. An AWARD to who can guess where I got the first line from.

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Leave the fighting to the ruthless ones. They'll win anyway.



And, I thought I saw FreeLance in the 4th dimension! He must be special, cause only special folks go there when they die.

[Ducky]

HAH! I guess who forgot to claim the third page!!! Nyahahaa.

Chill :P It was actually Alantriam who got knifed, and he's a bot so it don't matter :P

`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

Oh come on! You give us our best plot since Cobra and Blacksheep were dying their hair and you say it was just a ROBOT?!!?!?!?

SAV TEH DUKKY (With backward Ks) from my wrath if you can! MWAHA!

[Tanpopo Kiku]

If I did see Freelance 57 in the 4th dimension then I am going to yell at him. No one else has been in the 4th dimension before.



Robots do not feel pain. At least I don't think so.

[Ducky]

Poor Lancetto. Sob.

`Ducky

[Tanpopo Kiku]

But Lancie is still alive if I saw him in the 4th dimension.



People who go to the 4th dimension, ALSO called the Shadow Realm, are under MY control. Ha ha!



He'll seek revenge....

[*BlackSheep]

"Gasp! Who would DO such a thing?" said CT, wrenching her paws. A knife suddenly struck her back with a long scream she fell on the floor.

[Ducky]

(we know what Blackies been reading :P)



I gasped. (what was there to do?) My favorite table, the one with the cherry finsih was being bled all over. Not to mention CT was rapidly dying. She wheezed out some probably very sentimental last words and everyone else was froze with horror.

Who would be the next to go?



Bumbum duh duh duuuuun.

`Ducky

[*BlackSheep]

~~~

"I owe it to FL to knab the killer!" said 'Triam gravely. Claw started to cry, which was rather un-Claw-like. Tubbs cast suspicious looks at EVERYONE.

"SpooF!" screamed Dreamie, who had materialized from nowhere.

"Suspicious!!!" thought Tubbsy.

"yAy!" thought Blackie

"A customer!" thought Ducky.

"I wonder if she'd lend me a tissue" thought Claw.

"I hope SHE'll give me some boots." Kovey thought.

~~~

[Dreama]

Suspicious? Wot? Havn't you seen someone SpooF before? ;P

No tissues, but paper towels you can have! Waah, i miss Lancie. ;_;

[Talec]

Hmm... I have no idea what's going on here :P



---

Talec walks in, very confused.

"Okay... Where am I, and what's Going On Here??"



---

[JJ BBoy KS]

Suddenly a drunken (as always http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif) BBoy leaped up from the floor. "THE BUTLER!!!" He cried out. "BBoy, we're in a tavern! There are no butlers here!" Ducky replied. "Oh, darn.

[Tanpopo Kiku]

"Curse you, Alantrium!" screamed Kiku. She wanted to kick him.



"Walking pile of bolts," said Melissa. She finished her soda, refilled the cup, and threw the contents at someone. (I'm going to assume that that was Alantrium who got soaked)



Someone with a knife approached Kiku. "I've been waiting for this, Kiku." He stuck the knife in Kiku and it went right through her, so did the figure's hand and arm...the guy (Alantrium, I suspect) jumped back and stared.



"Whasamatter you?" shouted Kiku, turning on her chair. "I'm a ghost, silly. You think you can kill a ghost?"



~~~



"Where's Alantrium?" demanded Tubbs. "I am going to dismantle him and throw him into Heck. And who wrote the part about him killin' Lancie?"



Kiku pointed at a black sheep and smiled cruelly....and then she vanished.



~~~



"Lancie was wondering," said Kiku a few minutes later, "where he was."



"You're CRAZY," Tubbs cried.



"No, I swear! I saw him in the 4th Dimension!"



"Well," said Melissa, "I think I saw him myself."



"GHOSTS!" shouted Tubbs. "I hate the thought of them!"



Ducky and BlackSheep* looked at Tubbs and shook their heads.



"What is he talking about?"



"He's crazy."



"Will you just STOP talking about nonsense?" shouted Melissa. She smacked Tubbs and cried, "You are causing the whole tavern to go crazy!"



"I am going to kill you, Alantrium," said a voice.



It was a ghost....

[JJ BBoy KS]

BBoy jumped up. "I know who the murderer is!!!" "Who?" "Ducky!!!" "I am not!" Ducky yelled. "Oh. Then it was Kovu!!! No, not him. It was..." BBoy was suddenly stabbed through the chest with a knife which was thrown at him. "Ouch." He said just before he fell to the floor.

[Talec]

"Eek, it's getting dangerous in here. I'll watch from a distance," said Talec nervously as he slowly backed away from the Tavern.

[Violet CLM]

I say it is Hank! He's evil and a bounty hunter!



Talec nervously backed up, and backed up, and backed up, and fell down the cellar stairs. There he saw two things. Beer, and Beauman (Don't remember all the Asci characters) sellinng guns and knives for cheap prices. Talec, after chugging a barrel of beer, walked up to Beauman and asked if he had sold any knives lately. "Why sure! I just sold a bunch to some fellow down here, seemed slightly suspicious but hey, cash is cash, right? The name was" Before Beauman could continue he was stabbed through the back with a small knife. Looking at the knife Talec saw a small "Beauman" sticker on it. "Aha! I have found the maker of the murdering knives!" Talec walked up to the rest of the Tavern to tell the rest, tripping over a dead body and falling onto a bunch of knives, points up. "AHHHHH!!!!' screamed Ducky, upon seeing Talec suddenly reappear and die. Walking over to him, she asked who had done it. "It.... Was.... Beauman...." He slumped to the floor. Meanwhile, Tubbs was walking slowly towards Blacksheep* with the air of a gun fighter. Blacksheep was backing away, trying to get into the "To the North" story where nobody got killed (not Nobody, nobody.) and she wasn't in trouble with Tubbs. Unknown Rabbit, meanwhile, had went home for some saftey.

[Ducky]

Fortunately I was mostly ruled out, except in the eyes of the most suspicious. After all, why would I of killed someone, knowingthat she would wreck my best and favorite table?

I was still heartbroken. That was the only one that had been professionaly made and finished. Sob. I wiped away tears as I pondered this bit of information. The Titans outside had fallen asleep after their vats of liquor had emptied so no one had to worry about them anymore. They would sleep for seasons. But now there was blood stains everywhere. I implored with Blackie to do something to stop the killings, she ignored me mostly. I was at my wits end. I didn't want anyone to DIE! That was too scary! All I wanted was a drink.



I poured one for myself, not caring what it was. I lifted it to my mouth, but a knife whizzed out of nowhere, shattering the glass. I closed my eyes, putting my paw on my face.



Hmm.

OKay, well....

`Ducky

[*BlackSheep]

From where Ducky sat drinking her drink, there was a perfect view from under one of the tables. Suddenly, a knife came whizzing out of nowhere...

[Violet CLM]

What has Blacksheep* been reading?



"Wait a minute," said Mr. Continuity, Mr. Knowitall's brother. "How did That Guy leave the War Tavern? ANTI-TUBBS said that nobody could get in or out because of all the bricks!" After making this brilliant deduction, Mr. Continuity walked around the Tavern, thinking, walking, walking into the knife thrown at Ducky... (You all know what happend next, the tears, the broom, the angry Ducky...) After all that had happened, a Rabbit got out from under the bar, where he had been hiding. 'You are right! I am the real Unknown Rabbit, the one who left was Nobody in disguise!"



(In deep narrator voicehttp://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

And there was much crying, for now the still living creatures knew that Nobody couldn't kill them. And that Nobody wouldn't kill them. etc...



"Why don't we listen to some music?" asked Blacksheep*, cowering under a table. "Good idea," said Tubbs, turning on the radio. <>We interrupt this program. The mad turtle, Devan Shell, has escaped custody. He was last seen heading in the general direction of the War Tave<> Tubbs quickly turned it off. "Devan Shell is the murderer! But where is he?" Slowly, one of the creatures there started pulling off a mask...

[Action Hank]

Suddenly the toilet-door opens and a tired duck walks out.

"Geez! You wabbits sure have smelly droppings. Ugh! Lemme tell ya, one time when i was in...

Whoops! A suspicious moment. Maybe i'll just stay quiet." said Hank and sat down.

[Tanpopo Kiku]

I swear I saw FreeLance in the Shadow Realm.

[Tanpopo Kiku]

But why is everyone trying to kill each other?



Tubbs is unable to post right now so I'll post his story.



~~~**~~~



FreeLance 57 woke up and shouted, "Hey, what happened here?"



"You don't know who I am?"



Oh no. Kiku again. He had been trying to get rid of her--but it was no use. Now he was in the 4th Dimension.



"Alantriam is not going to get in here. He's not organic," Kiku stated.



Freelance was upset and shouted, "How come I didn't die like any other person?!"



No answer.



"Well?"



~~~



Back in the Tavern, two ghosts walked through the door.



"NO! I HATE GHOSTS!!!! HELP!" shouted Alantriam.



"What the heck are you squacking about?" said Tubbs. "You sound stupid."



Ducky complained, "I already said that we shouldn't have let robots in here. All they do is scream at--who knows what."



No, but there were two ghosts.



"I am going to get my revenge, on my other half," sneered Freelance.



"That's not the first time," Kiku said. "My other half killed me also."



"WILL YOU STOP, FOR THE LAST TIME, MAKING SUCH A RACKET?!" yelled Ducky. "We're trying to meditate!"

[Violet CLM]

If someone doesn't make someone pull off a mask I will just make it be Blacksheep* who seems to have thought up the whole plot in the first place. Bloodthirsty Blacksheep*! Bloodthirsty Blacksheep*!

[JJ BBoy KS]

BBoy jumped to his feet even though he was supposed to be dead. He was to drunk to remember that he died. "Wow, I must've had too much beer. *Hic!* I think I'm seeing a bat with the head of a turtle!" "That's no bat. Batty Buddy was REALLY Devan in disguise! He's the murderer!" [Insert name here] said. Devan Bolted for the door, but found that he couldn't leave, 'cause of all the bricks. "Blast!" He said. Then the REAL Batty Buddy flew in through the hole in the ceilene that Tubbs had made. "Hey guys, what's up?" Devan threw a knife at him.

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Well, I obviously did not kill Lancie. It's BlackSheep's fault, really.



And now what?



Tubbs isn't that violent, just to let you know.

[Ducky]

Hank probably had it right, staying in the bathroom all the time. I scuttled behind the counter in a nervous state as the knife that almost peirced Batty's wing thudded in between some cups on my glass racks. Shoving aside some small barrels of Dark Ale, I crouched. Lulled by the soft zing of knives whizzing overhead, and the sweet smell of the Ale, I soon dozed off.



As Ducky crept behind her counter, Batty indignantly flapped his wings. "I say, Dev old chap, tryin' to knock off a chap's flippin' wings isn't good manners, doncha know--" His interesting attempt at Hare speech was cut short as he realized who exactly he was quarreling with. He kamikazed towards the Empress and she leapt away. They cowered beneath a table. Cobra and BlackSheep seemed oblivious to their surroundings, having discovered a half full bottle of Dandelion Whisky. Strong stuff, that. They were playing an odd drinking game over their table in a very bright corner. Blackie's hair had come undone, all over her face which resembled Cobra's, whose face matched her hair. They chanted loudly. Devan turned towards them, obviously annoyed. "SHUT UP!" He bellowed. Cobra and Blackie looked at him, and erupted into tempests of laughter. They appeared to be suffocating, collapsing into their collapsible chairs. Kovu, not quite as over-the-edge as them, dodged a chair and a random knife. There wasn't anywhere safe! He sought refuge in a half empty bottle of pickles beside the bar.

`Ducky

[*BlackSheep]

The evil knife throwing chap dumped Slippery-Floor Potion on the floor of the Tavern, and signalled for his legions to continue throwing. One struck Batty's wing, and one sliced through Blackie's ear. Another drove into Tubbs' foot.

[Talec]

All these knives flingin' around remind me of the flying swords in Jazz1 http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif



Bloodthirsty Blacksheep*? I'd say bloodthirsty Unknown Rabbit, killing off my character like that! Shame on you! http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif ('sides, I don't drink beer o_O)

If you're going to mess with Talec, well... Muahahaha!



------

Since they are all merely cartoon characters, everyone who was previously dead came back http://server46.hypermart.net/poketavern/UBB/UBB/Smilies/evil.gif

------



Handy, eh? Have a little monkey wrench in everyone's plans http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[Tanpopo Kiku]

I will seek my revenge on various people.



Being dead, I am never scared of knives or guns.



People cannot kill me anymore, because I am dead. They could try to stab me but nothing will happen.



Melissa is terribly angry. She came back with a small dagger.

[Violet CLM]

I'm back from Conneticut!!!!!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

You read the monkys' paw, Talec? It gave me this idea...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Unluckily for Freelance, Coppertop, BBoy, Beauman and Talec, who had come back to life being merely cartoon characters, they still had knife holes in them. Therefore, they all died again.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Don't glare, that just happened!

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Devan threw another knife, straight at a random direction. The knife flew straight into a row of cups, breaking them like dominoes. Unknown Rabbit stuck his head out from under the table: "You know, I've heard of bar-room brawls but..." Everyone who wasn't fighting Devan told That Guy to shut up. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_mad.gif Ducky, taking a break from bing crammed between the counter and a pickle that Claw had been looking for, thought of a plan to get rid of Devan Shell. "Hey Devan! Blacksheep* kidnapped Shellion and left him in the north with only a blanket and a stuffed turtle!" Devan stopped throwing knives and looked at the counter. "What? My brother? This means an, expedition to the north!" So saying, Devan ran into a wall, knocking himself out. Kovu looked out of his jar. "Great work Ducky, how did you know that would happen?" "Ummm..... It is the War Tavern, right?" There being no denials they all threw Devan out the hole in the roof and went back to drinking beer. The dead bodies laying around were forgotten.

[Ducky]

Until the sprinkler system kicked in. Although there was no sign of fire, the roof began to drench everyone. The people who had been killed stirred. They looked around, blinking, looking at the collapsible knives lying next to them. "Ha ha, get this, Alantriam!" Lancielot picked a knife up and hurled it at Unknown. "Look!Its collapsible!"

Someone ordered a round of drinks on the house, but I'd be darned if they ever paid for it. I poured myself a calm iced strawberry sherry to congratulate myself for the insight I showed.

The 'Tavern relaxed, happily drinking beer and burbling to each other. Cobra had gone unconsious and now Kovu and BlackSheep had emptied their bottle of their whisky, and where singing Beethoven's 9th in a 'round' fashion. Where did they ever learn the words, I wondered, reading the label on the bottle. I took my glass of sherry and poured them each a martini. Turning the waiting over to NightFire I joined them at their table, pulled Cobra up onto a chair beside me. Blackie swigged her martini in a most unladylike way and giggled while brandishing a large hammer at my table. I gently took it away from her, but I think the fumes were getting to me, and I was still groggy from my short nap under the counter. I leaned over onto Kovu, who seemed to be experiencing the affects of his whisky in a more calm manner after his debut with Beethoven and his martini. I sagged lower and fell asleep on Kovu's shoulder usingBlackie as a footrest, watching Kiku and her fam dipping chocolate onto their fortune cookies from their refilled fondu pot.



`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

Collapsible knives? Soaked in ketch-up I suppose... Oh and Ducky? You look cute on top of Kovu and Blacksheep. But enough of that. Recap time, for all of you who came in late!





A bunch of titans come to the War Tavern and cause a ruckus. Meanwhile, a group of creatures go to a weird evil castle. They all reappear at the War Tavern eventually, including Alantrium who uses a trap-door. After this, loads of people are killed but it all gets cleared up in the two posts before this.



Did I forget anything besides the BB/Kazooie race?







BBoy, who had ben thought to be *dead* srunk got up from the floor, a mug of beer that nobunny (Not Nobody) had paid for. "Everything seems to have been taken care of except the bricks around the Tavern! ANTI-TUBBS said nobody could get in or out!" Blacksheep, her voice slightly muffled by Ducky, said "He didn't say if anyone else could though?" After that much experimenting ensued and it was found that anybody, as well as Nobody, could walk straight through the bricks. Now all they needed was a new plot.............................................. ..........





Suddenly Talec was warped to "Plotline Hotline"!

[Coppertop]

*gasp* I've been KILLED!



Hmm, I've never been killed before. . .weird.

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Listen to this, guys...I am not dead anymore. So stop picking on me for saying that I'm dead.

[Coppertop]

How can you not be dead anymore?

[Ducky]

No one's dead anymore. They were collapsible knives, and Kiku left her Realm.

So Nyah. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif

And thank you, Unknown.

`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

Explanation for all the unexplained stuff:

One of the ghosts was Tanpopo Kiku who has come back to life anyway. The other two were both Freelance 57 who wasn't dead so it was some weird optical illusion thing. Either that or mass hypnotism...... The knives were collapsible because they were thrown by an actor in a Devan Shell costume that was in a Batty Buddy costume. The knives that actually went through creatures were the same weird optical illusion or mass hypnotism. There was a actor playing Devan playing BB in the first place because........... Because Nobody wanted a new gag as the Rubber Chicken was getting old.



Marvel Comics? Do I get a No-Prize?



But I don't know ow Freelance got into the 4th dimension.

[Tanpopo Kiku]

If you had been reading my STORY you would have known earlier. Nya nya, shows that I'm not the only one who's not in touch.

[Coppertop]

Nobody's getting tired of squirting Rubber Chicken goo on everybody? I thought I'd never see the day...

j/k, http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[Violet CLM]

Known what earlier?

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Nya nya. IF you had been paying more attention to details, and especially if you had been reading my story, (The Dark Lepus) you would have known that....



I'm not DEAD ANYMORE, YOU BUNCH OF MONKEYS!!!</font size="4">



But since you didn't notice that soon enough, I'm just as well off in the 4th Dimension, aka The Shadow Realm! Woo hooo...If I return there I get to freeze you in Time again! Should I go back and be dead?



*stops laughing* If you want something interesting, please go and ask Tubbs, who I thought was tap-dancing in the Tavern.

[*BlackSheep]

**throws the rubber chicken to CT**



*Black

[Ducky]

CT fell off the table trying to catch the chicken, squashing Kovu who awoke with a start and I fell over, startled, kicking Blackie in the head. "Hey!" She said, indignantly.

`Ducky

[JJ BBoy KS]

CT catches the chicken, but squeezes a bit too hard, and rubber chicken goo squirts out and hits Bluez, who was just walking by, in the face.

[Timothy Hyperion Purr]

Ah...so we heard you, Kiku, but alas! no one bothered to listen to you. I am the one, and only, person who knows who you are! And I'm also the only one who cares!



What's this about rubber chickens? All I do with them is smack Melissa. No, I'm not that mean...http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif I'd rather smack someone else.

[Ducky]

Lol, Timothy http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

Are you a fluffy cat?



The chaos eased. I removed myself from the floor and resumed my place pouring drinks.I gave a pale lettuce chardonnay in a frosted glass to a cat who came in quietly and sat with Kiku and her small clan at their fondu, nodding to me courteously.

BlackSheep turned the jukebox on, offering her paw to a pale green rabbit that matched the color of my chardonnay, except he wasn't clear. I sat down and rubbed at a glass, reminscising(sp?) over spiffy action movies I had seen. Slayer and Lancie pondered over a large map of the heavens in one of the corners, and sipped at tall tankards of what seemed to be filled with the foam off the top of root beer.

Cobra and Turbo[who is not in this story] burbled on in another dark corner, and I leaned so far back on my stool I almost fell over, just managing to wahck into Night Fire as he stared dreamily out a window.

The rest of the contents of the 'Tavern slowly filtered in and out, mostly sitting at tables with drinks in front of them, chattering away. The night was still young, I swiped at my face with the towel I still clutched, leaning against Night Fire. Kovu played solitaire in a dark corner, a dim lanters flickering above him.



Sigh. All so nostalgic. Something MUST happen.

`Ducky

[Cobra]

Cobra, also reminicing<sp>, brought out a guitar and strummed it mournfully, remembering her adventures with some of the other inhabatents of the WT who were now gone. Quickly, the other Taverners around her screamed and hurled random objects at her. She'd forgotten that she couldn't play the guitar. Quickly, she brought out a twisted gothic black harp, but that was wrenched out of her arms and immediatly stomped on.

Ordering a tall glass of Loganberry wine, she sat and sipped it, waiting for a plot hole to open, for turtles to invade, or for at least a dance to start. Maybe there'd even be battles over who should dance with whom.

Leaning back in her chair, she wished for the days of old, when action lurked behind every corner, and when there was never a dull moment.

But the doors suddenly burst open...

[Timothy Hyperion Purr]

I am not fluffy. If you were hoping that I was fluffy then you're asking the wrong person. Sorry, BlckSheep.

[Violet CLM]

Talec was totally stunned. Rocky Racoon had once told him of the dreaded Plotline Hotline but he had hoped never to be exposed to tis's terrors. THe announcer was speaking, in some weird language, maybe dutch. (If Talec understands Dutch, would he please tell me so I can edit this?) Talec finally understood he would not be able to get out of here until he had selected a plot. He grabbed a random one and threw it into a Plot-o-matic machine. It made a weird sound that sounded much like "A plot! At last! yAy!" and exploded. Talec was totally sure what the purpose of the explosion was but he went back to the War Tavern happily, now that he no longer had to worry about lip stic wearing plots. Back at Plotline Hotline, the annuncer was reading the plot. (Transalated from the weird language) "The door bursts open and the Titans come back in. They steal the roof, sell it on E-bay, use the money to buy a lot of Addie plushies. ADI the battler appears and sues Admael and she has to do lots of weird stuff do get the money. Once she has enough cash she remembers she is a mage. Further bulletins as events warrent."



At the War Tavern, Talec reappeared... In a pickle jar. Leaning back in her chair, CT wished for the days of old, when action lurked behind every corner, and when there was never a dull moment. But the doors suddenly burst open...

[Ducky]

Some convenient little smoky-steamie things shot up to look impressive. The martini I was pouring overflowed. A dark figure came through the mistiness, came swirling..he looked familiar. But there was no way it could be Darth Vader. And besides he wasn't breathing like that. He stepped in, gently almost, looking around. He was dark grey colored.

I heard a siren.













`Ducky

[JJ BBoy KS]

Suddenly the siren noise stopped, and in burst 3 policerabbits. They grabbed the dark figure, and said, "Alright, you're going to jail!" "Why?" The figure asked. "Uhh... Because you're underage to be in a tavern. Espescially a War Tavern." The policerabbit replied. "I'm 170 years old." The dark figure said. "Oh. Uhh... Okay then. Good bye." The policerabbits left. Suddenly there was a flash of light, and the figure was gone! In it's place was a 170 year old frog. He hopped onto the counter. "I'd like a Fly-Martini. Ducky got him one, and then asked, "So, what's your name?" "Merburt." The Frog answered. "Merburt? Huh. So are you really 170 years old?" "Yes." "Wow! That's amazing." "Well, that's what happens when you live off of fly all your life.....I think." Suddenly a large purple and white bird flew threw the open window. The frog gasped and hopped behind the counter. In a whispered voice he said, "It's Cleever!!!"

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



Batty pulled several of the knives out of his wings, muttered something about being used as a pin cushion and looked at the purple and white bird. "Hmmm... Doesn't look too clever to me."

"NOT clever, ClEEver!" said the frog.

Suddenly the police car came back. One of the rabbits hopped out and said. "Well, folks, Sorry but looks like your trapped here. A bunch of inch-high blue people with white pants and hats have surrounded the building." "Smurfs?" asked Bboy. "Nah, Smurfs don't have glowing red eyes and fangs." Everyone looked at Batty. "Hey, I don't know of anyone with glowing red eyes and fangs except me." he said defencivly.

The frog gulped "Oh no... Cleever brought his herd of vampire Smurfs with him again..."

[Cobra]

Cobra spit out the wine she was drinking and proclaimed "VAMPIRE SMURFS? Ok, I wanted action, but this is too weird!"



~KarateCobra

[*BlackSheep]

Cobra dove for a hiding place--the closet was the nearest door. When she opened it, a body, swinging from a rope, swung towards her. She screamed as a green and pin striped sock limply dangled in her face. It was BBoy. NF helped to take him down. Everyone looked at the rope marks on his neck. A last request for BBoy? I tell ya, some of these serial killers have no class...

[*BlackSheep]

Who could the killer be? There's Kove, he might just be trying move in on BBoy's leather shoes before we find out that they wear the same size... after missing out on Lancie's rubber boots, he could really use a new set. And then there's Kiki, who seems to be very appreciative of the fact that there isn't a noose in Carrotus big enough to fit over her head... Then there's me, 'cause I'm writing it all. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_biggrin.gif Oh, and everyone else because we all know that deep down, everyone hates everyone else http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif



*Black

[*BlackSheep]

** CRASH ** - There's a sudden clamor that appears to have come from the Kitchen. Cobra has been found beneath a vast pile of cookware Was it an accident... or was it murder? Did two-hundred pounds of kitchen utensils just "accidentally" fall on her head... or are forces more sinister than mere bad luck to be blamed?

[Cobra]

A voice from beneath the junk in the kitchen proclaims, "It's my shoes. They make it hard to walk, darned five inch heels."

[Violet CLM]

Meanwhile, at Plotline Hotline, a slight problem has been found. The machine is not working, and did not set the plot in action. Naturally, this means the War Taverners need a new one, but they seem to have found two of them on their own. Say Blacksheep, why are you so interested in killing everybody? Just wondering...

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Stop calling me Kiki, for once, BlkSheep. And, I already have a noose around my neck; Feel free to tighten it. Or else I will as Timothy Hyperion Purr, my best friend in this hostile world, to do so...>:[





Why did the stuff fall on Cobra? And how did she somehow survive? And what could happen next...because of BlkSheep's treachery?



Tubbs, who is a trained assassin, watches BlakSheep from behind a counter. Something is wrong; Tubbs isn't even an organic rabbit! Is he really some kind of robot...? But how could he be one? He looks deceptively like a rabbit, but he still could be an android...http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

[Ducky]

I wept. There was too much death. No one stopped it. I flung my self into the night and staggered away, never seen again until later.



She tried to help Cobra up. Don't know who she was, but BlackSheep saw her.



Someone randomly shoved Kiki. A fallen angel.

I saw a shadow touch a shadows hand..and the leaves that are green turned to brown. And they withered with the wind, and they crumbled in your hand.



Inside there is laughter. The lights are brightening, and the soft rain falls on the roof and the young grass.



`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

Sniff. Sniffle. *Cries*

[Coppertop]

What he said. *sob* Don't kill me off, I implore you, PLEEEEAAAASSSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JJ BBoy KS]

Ahh gee, don't ya just hate it when ya die??? But death can't stop me from adding on to this story!!! HA!



********



Suddenly, the door burst open, and a black-clothed old gangster with a tommy-gun in his hand walked in. He started shooting, "RATTA-TAT-ATATATA-TATATATA!!!!" Bullets went everywhere. Everyone in the tavern dived behind something. Glasses, some full, some empty, shattered. Chairs broke. Bottle pieces went everywhere. Even a box with a sign on it which read, "Sav teh dukky fund" (With backwards k's) got five holes in it. "I'll kill ya all!!!" The ganster said. Suddenly BBoy jumped up from the floor, and flexed the muscles he wished he had. "BBoy, you're dead!" Ducky said. "Oh... I am? Okay." He said, before falling on the floor. "What're you mad about?" Ducky asked the ganster. "You guys are hiding a frog in here. I know it! I'm gonna kill that frog, and anyone who tries to prevent it dies too!" "Oh, are you Clever?" Batty asked. "CLEEVER!!! Not Clever. And yes I am. What of it?" Suddenly a titan walked up behind the ganster and picked him up by the neck saying...

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



"I know what you're thinking: Did you fire all 602 rounds on that tommygun, or just 601? Well, quite frankly, I lost track myself. But you gotta ask yourself one thing: Do I feel lucky?" He hit the edge off his cigar. "Well... Do ya, PUNK?"

Just then the door shot open and cheery singing filled the room. "La, Laa, lalalalaaaa, vant to suck your bloood..."

"VAMPIRE SMURFS!!" screamed the frog, jumping behind the bar.

Suddenly, Batty Buddy had an idea... Uh oh.

"Bboy- quick: hand me a couple dozen shot glasses."

"I'm supposed to be dead. Besides-This is hardly the time to think about getting drunk again."

"Trust me, I'm not getting drunk. Just give me EMPTY shot glasses."

"Oh, I get what your saying." he said handing him a few...



_________________

"I seem to be the vary personafication of the rage to live- hit me, dunk me, insult me, I'll still hang in there.



-I wonder why."

-Howard the Duck



(RIP William Hanna)

[*BlackSheep]

The vampyre stuffed the shot glasses in his mouth..



CRUNCH CRUCNH CRUNNNCH.

[Ducky]

Okay, that was just like the freakiest thing I ever saw..

[Tanpopo Kiku]

(Post by Kiku)



I was once a fallen angel...now I am the leader of the Shadow Realm. People control my destiny. Not myself.



"BlackSheep," Tubbs was shouting, "What the heck are you doing!?" Something was sticking out of his mouth. Teeth? Fangs?!



She turned, and I saw her expression. "Shut up, Tubbs. You're the only one I haven't killed yet..."



Something fell on Tubbs, who shouted again. Dishes? Cups? Melissa screamed at him, as usual.



Vampires. Bloody vampires.



Who was a vampire in this shadowy tavern? Was even my own dear friend, Timothy Hyperion Purr, a vampire? Because of someone's treachery?



I simply stared and watched, from my dark corner in the 4th Dimension, unwilling to help even my own companions...



Kiki, my treacherous clone created by a rabbit named Ducky, pointed a bony finger at Tubbs and laughed bitterly. Was it because someone else died?



The little jewel around my neck was glowing red. Could that have really meant that my friend (T.H.P) was gone? It had been made so that I would know when people died...

[Violet CLM]

"Let the reader beware". No, honest! It seems every post lately has used a little of the last one and scrapped the rest! You may all not care about this, but I do. Naturally, I have no say in this. *Cries* Anyway, I may post a continuation when I have any idea which one of the 4? 5? 6? plots is being used here. Let the reader beware, and the writer be wary.

[Ducky]

I gasped. The blame was being put on me, who was cast out of my own 'Tavern because of the cruelty. It was Blizzard. I never cloned.

Blizzard said Kiki!

So it was, that I fled. Taking with me only my VCR and video collection, and my penguin Chatters, I poured myself a cup of coffee.



Truly, it was the freakiest thing.

`Ducky

[Timothy Hyperion Purr]

Freaky enough for me. It had to have been Ducky who created Kiki to haunt the Tavern.



Treachery? I think so.

[Cobra]

But who really was to blame? The cloner or the cloned? Surely, the murderer must be found, lest the wartavern once again become desolate.

[Violet CLM]

A purple rabbit scurried out of a window. Nobunny knew him and nobunny cared too. He wanted to get away to safety, as Ducky had obviously had the right idea.

[Ducky]

Treachery indeed, thought a wayward Log, sitting at the dark end of the counter.



Outside on a tree limb, a cheshire cat yowled.





`Ducky

[*BlackSheep]

"Wh00! I'm fffffaaaamous!!!"

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

chaos of multiple plots was creating quite a mess in the tavern. for some reason, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was still lying on the ground with some collapsable knife stuck in him, which was from his own store (for only $9.99 a piece too!). then, all of a sudden, a large burp was heard, but, that wasn't the climax, but it twas a plot hole that opened up. then, with a blinding light, stopping the non-sense for a bit, out popped a rabbit of platinum, platinum fur, that is, clad in inscibed robes of black and various techno gear, was the REAL BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. since, for some reason,the real BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ just disapeared some day, but now, he was back. now that everyone saw it was only BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and not some extraterrestial being, they went back to thier chaos of vampire smurfs and murderer's.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ decided to pick up the droid he left to pose as himself, and turned him back on, since for some reason, the katchup drained his energy. So, he put the robot back to work and sat down at the bar, wondering wat happened to the bartender. then, he decided to use the infamous plot hole to teleport the bartender back behind the counter. thus, ducky appeared...

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: eh? when did u become barwench...i mean, ummmm, bartender?

Ducky: wat? barwench?!?! how.... n/m, it's the wartavern... watcha want?

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: i'd like just some rootbeer for now... not in the mood for alchohal...

*ducky hand's BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ a frothy rootbeer*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: thank ya... so wat's new?

*so ducky and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ just talk about the recent turn of events*

all of a sudden a plot hole escapes out of BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's pocket without his knowing, floating(or watever plot holes dohttp://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif) to the middle of the room, it starts to clean up the mess of plots, and then something starts to emerge from the plot hole, to thicken the plot further...

=====================================

heh, so i make a comeback with a wannabe post of the wartavern... so sue me, i'm back http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif



_________________

The Useless rantings of a returned Jazzer...

[Willet]

(goes flying through the door into the War Tavern)





Slam me a grog, barkeep!

[Sakura]

Kiku is finally dead, once and for all. After people chased her through the door of the WT, with their dangerous weapons, she disappeared into the misty reaches of the Shadow Realm...forever.



However, people in the WT were soon to be very much sorry for their treacherous deeds....very sorry indeed!



The walls, all of a sudden, seemed to be alive. Ghosts, malignant ones, filled the shadowy reaches of the desolate WT--they whispered and haunted the folks inside...!



Someone screamed and ran out the door, only to lose herself in the thick mist that the dead Kiku had sent to surround the place...



Who will fix the problem? Who will....?



Sakura grabbed her sword and stood up. Outside, she heard a yowl.

[The Last Patriot]

The door opened and everyone held their breath. What else could enter this tavern, what could happend after Kiku's loss and what would she do to revenge herself.

A voice came out of the darkness that lay behind the door: "Ducky? Are you there".

Ducky jumped up after she recognized the voice of her cousin Slayer.

Ducky: "Slayie, my dear cousin, Kiku left us terrified".

Slayer threw a stone on the table. "There's your presious Kiku".

The walls seemed to suck the ghost back in and evil was no more inside this tavern.

Sakura gasped for breath. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE"?

Slayer: "Friends of Kiku, or just a replacement"?

He greeted his old friends and a round of carrotroot beer was ordered for everyone.

[FreeLance57]

(parties) WOOO! CARROTROOT BEER! WOOOO!



(whispering to slayo: is this stuff alcoholic?)

[Violet CLM]

*Is still not coming back* Oh wait, you have to be in the War Tavern to post. Darn. Oh, but I don't like carrotroot beer. Well, just this once.





A purple rabbit who everyone had thought had left stood up and said "Toast time!". Toasts were made, to eggs on toast, french toast, the War Tavern, the galaxy, Jazz Jackrabbit, etc. Then the purple rabbit proposed a toast to the memory of Tanpopo Kiku. Silence came, and the other rabbits in the War Tavern edged away from him. The rabbit sat there, alone, a rabbit who had tried to be Kiku's friend.

[Sakura]

Sakura took out her sword and stabbed it into the table. "Never! You shall not get her forgiveness! She was once a good person! Look at what you did."



Outside, there was another yowling...oh no....

[Ducky]

I came over with another round of drinks for everyone. Placing my cousin's cherry mead on the table in front of him, I raised my martini.

"Sure, to Tannie!"

There was an audible and collective gasp.

A drunk in a dark corner hiccuped and the jukebox gargled away noisily against its wall.



The door creaked on its hinges and Lancie leaped up to catch a slightly tipsy Blackie who was a bit unsteady on her pins.



Outside, the wind howled and beat against the shiny glass windows. There was a supersonic explosion and then the rain flooded down. The door creaked again and opened to a completely drenched figure.

Still, no one said anything, although their gaze swiffered from me to the newcomer.

Sakura, however, mouthed at me wordlessly.



`Duckary

[Willet]

yes, the night was slowly changing from a booze-filled, hyper party for the drunks and the drunkards to a night of strange happening and mournful talking.





I stood up and walked over to Sakura.



"I know who you are. I know why you're here. And we both know that Kiku is not to blame for the way people treated her. Humanity is to blame. Humans, by nature, like to be cruel to those who are not like them."



I shot the rest of my scotch and walked over to the bar.

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

then BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ butted in.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: aye, tis true, but i think u drank a litte too much 'cause u also must understand we're not humans http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif we're wabbits, er rabbits http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

Willet: oh, ya http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: and wat's with her? she seems stressed.

Sakura: because u are not apeasing the spirit of kiku! andu guys just don't get it!

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hmmmmmmm.... a HA!

*thinks of brillant buisness idea*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: scuse' me, be right back

*runs to the back of his shop and into the storage elevator*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: let see..... where are them anti-ghost amulets...

*elevator stops at B13*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ah, here we go....

*grabs a box of amulets*

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ takes the elevator up*

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ runs out and starts vending*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ladies and gentlerabbits, do u have a ghost problem? are they keeping u up at night? do they stop u from having lots of fun and getting drunk till u hurl?

*someone hurls in the backround*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: errrrrr.... right... anyhow, i have now a magnificint item for sale. a amulet of great protection, that makes it so ghosts can do no SPIRITUAL harm(*muttering under his breath* of course they could still throw stuff at ya...)... and so, this new item from somewhere, for only $39.99 u can have one of these great amulets!

*bunches of drunken rabbits start crowding around BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hey, one at a time, plz wait ur turn!

*thinks to himself*: i love a drunk crowd http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[Sakura]

I swore, very loudly. People turned their heads to stare at me.



Someone muttered, "why is that sakura girl swearing like that!? she's like totally crazy."



Kasha, who is not mentioned here, was totally out to lunch. She left her drink and wandered around.



Sakura snorted, "geez, haven't you learned yet? you can't call a Japanese person by a nickname. that's not right; those kinds of names do not have nicknames."



"Better not call the deadest shot in the Tavern a wimp, you guys," said a new voice. "Sakura could pick every one of you off blindfolded."



Echinacea was a legend. Campion was a spy. And Vervain was completely evil. Who was still sane enough to figure out what was going to happen next...?



Sakura grabbed her blaster and shot into the darkness outside the Tavern. The yowling stopped, and there was a muffled scream.



Oh, gosh. Was it really someone else who spoke? Who was it...? Someone tell me.

[Willet]

so i am a bit drunk. who gives a rat's (censoreD)?

[The Last Patriot]

Slayer: "Me, and im right behind you".

click said his gun.

Slayer: "Now who are you and what are doing here?"

[*BlackSheep]

"Please, mister feared scary killer type person thing, don't kill me. I'm just a newbie."

"A newbie? huh?" Slayo was excited. "Hey everyone, look, a NEWBIE!!!" he shouted. People crowded around it, poking and prodding.

"You're right, it IS!" BlackSheep giggled. They dragged the newbie screaming to a dark corner to be disected...

[Willet]

I ain't no (censored) newbie! I'm freelance! y'all know that! right? ...guys?

[Sakura]

Who is the newbie, Blacksheep? Ain't me, that's for sure.





Sakura stared at the people who were going to dissect the newbie. She grabbed her dagger (which looked more like a knife) and threw it at the group. She hadn't intended for it to hit anyone; all Sakura wanted to do was scare them off.



It slammed into the wall, making people look at Sakura for a moment. She calmly snapped her fingers and the dagger jumped into her hand.



They promptly stopped doing whatever it was that they were doing and screamed.



Sakura wasn't drunk, and she wasn't supposed to be anyway. Underage? she thought. Will people catch me? Probably not.



People were scared. Scared. Very scared.

[Ducky]

I waved my broom. "Okay break it up, you losers. Its closing time." Not like it was, but things were getting violent and this Ta--hahaahaaaaaa*cough choke*hehee.This Sakura was getting out of hand. Blackie whined at me. "Aawwww, I just got here, come on, lookit I didn't do anything.."

The newbie cautiously wandered up to the bar and ordered a small ice cream cone. I fling down my towel.

"Okay, today started out good, just FINE,(I snapped) but my loved ones are DYING and I'm going HOME so I can mourn. I can't even BE with him because he's too far away. I'm just going home, to my little house thats ALL MINE an I'm putting on my ashes and sunglasses and I'm going to tear my hair and gnash my teeth and NO ONE IS GOING TO STOP ME FROM SINGING MY DIRGES IN THE DARK."

Tears stung my eyes as I snatched my copy of the Daily Carrot. I poured myself a Regelion synth-ale carrot beer and stormed out, my paper slipping open.



I tripped over a body. I slopped a bit of my drink down my front and chugged the rest. Stumbling on in the now moonlit night I ignored the sounds from my beloved 'Tavern.





Be that way.

`Ducky

[Sakura]

But who IS the newbie?

[Violet CLM]

What's going on?

[Nightshade]

I dunno

[Ducky]

Does it matter, when all that surrounds us is injustice?



Sakura slumped over her drink, but immediately flung herself out of it when she felt a touch on her shoulder, flinging her knife about.

"Ah! Haha, eh, ha..don't knife me!"





`Ducky

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ watched with sadness as Ducky stormed out.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: bah... wat we need is sumtin' fun.... hey...

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ thought of another ingenious idea with an evil grin

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: nobody's runnin' the beer taps, hehe....

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ jumps behind the bar and puts on a much stained white apron*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: EVERYBUNNY! i have a MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! I now have taken control of the alcohol taps, which means.... PARTYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

*Everyone started to cheer and raise thier glasses to eachother*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hmmmm... now where’s that danged button...

*starts feeling under the bar*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ahhh... there it is...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pushes the button, causing automatic machine gun turrets to pop up*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: oops... wrong button http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

*clicks the button again disclosing the auto guns , and then clicks a green button that has bunches of party decorations pop up all over the war tavern, including every infinite corner*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok... someone play a snappy tune on the jukebox... hmmmmmmm.... Hey robo17!

(this is Beau's personal robot)

RB17: yes?

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: could ya construct a stadium somewhere inside the tavern for cannibal feud, and call the Carrotus prison to get some turtles over here as competition.

RB17: Right away...



And so the party started, many abusing the fact that BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wouldn't refuse anyone drinks for any reason.

[Violet CLM]

I hope none of the people in the war tavern saw the gun turrets.

[FreeLance57]

(ducky stormed out?)



I walked out side and caught ducky by the arm.



"Party's just starting, duckary. Free drinks. Cannibal fued, whatever that is, staring turtles from your local prison."





"Woo." she said sarcasticly.





"Aww...come on duckary. Why'd you storm out anyway?"

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ runs after freelance*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: psst... Freelance, be quiet... I’m not supposed to run the bar because of my past criminal history of serving alcohal to mino... I mean, uhhhhhhhhh, heh... never mind http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

*Runs back in*



RB17: oi! BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ! The turtles are here!

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Excellent...

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ runs to the back of his store and puts on a snazzy Game show type of tuxedo and runs back up, stepping up to the Host's Chair.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ (game show voice): Ladies and Gentlebunnies... put ur hands together and bite ur buddy's arm for... CANNIBAL FEUD! The game where u wrestle and eat ur opponent!

Today, we have our opposing persons, the turtles from local prison 101!

*the turtles grunt and hold up their hands*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: and cannibalizing them today will be some VERY lucky rabbits from the audience!

So, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ started picking contestants for Cannibal Feud.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: and our first lucky contestant is...



=============================================

Figure I’ll let whoever decides if they’re a contestant. And for those who don't know, cannibal feud used to be popular in the old war tavern. wat u did was ate ur opponent, the turtle http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[Sakura]

"INFERNAL TAVERN PEOPLE!" screamed Sakura. "You don't know your own fates, much less mine. You don't know what I could do to you!"



She clapped her hands together and threw a lighting bolt at her attacker. "You would be lucky to survive when I do this to you. I show no mercy. None."



The taverners were scared. Very scared, in fact.



Sakura waved her sword at the people before she vanished. Vanished into thin air. She was gone.



Ducky was staring at the spot where Sakrua was last seen. Where was she? Where did she go?



"Go to Efrafra, you embleer taverners!" shouted someone. It was Woundwort.

[FreeLance57]

I stepped back inside and raised my hand. "Me. I'll fight one of those (censored censored) good for nothin's."

[Violet CLM]

...............are you all right, Sakura?

[The Last Patriot]

Slayer: "Neat trick Sakura, i guess this is enough proof of who you really are".

Slayer put on a head and took his pipe, he then walked around the room with one hand on his back and spoke to Freelance.

Slayer: "FreeWATLanceSON, you know who Sakura is right?"

Freelance stood up and took the first piece of evidence.

Freelance: "I have a puzzle, 2 pieces and 1 of the pieces is missing, here i have a rubber ducky, you can see it has been used for other purposes then it really should be used for, and i have a piece of gum, but im not gonna pick it up you'll have to see it for yourself".

Slayer: "Now that has been settled, now we all know who we are dealing with".

Ducky: "Who? Bob Sagat?"

JelZe: "No Ducky, he's talking about Barbara Streisand, thats obvious, i mean..look at the teeth mark in the gum".

Barbara streisand walked into the war tavern and picked up her gum and chew on it. "How did that get in there"? she asked and walked out again.

Freelance: "Err..sorry, my fault, this is the third piece of evidence".

He showed everyone a picture of Sparko the magical fire-breathing dog.



Baeauman got up and shouted. "SPARKO IS DEAD".

Slayer put his hand on his head causin the tabaco from the pipe to fall in his fur.

Cobra took some CarrotAle and threw it over him to die out the flame that had cought Slayer.

Slayer: "Thank you Cobra, The Person that Sakura is..is... KIKI".



People mumbled and suddenly the ground shaked, Cobra watched outside and saw a big alien ship with balloons and happy clowns and tentacles from ****on both sides of it.



Cobra:"Uh-oh, party-poopers, hide the childeren Slayie".

[Ducky]

Um.

I wantched from a distance. I had guessed that Woundwort wasn't dead. But should I <s>re</s>join him?

I pitied the young rabbit Sakura had cruelly murdered. The young creature had been one of my waitresses, she was wondering if she wanted her glass refilled. (Lettuce chardonnays got free refills, as did cherry meads and burgundy carrot cordials.)



I wasn't sure what was happening in the tavern. I crept back, scuttled near to Woundwort and Lancie, who was standing innocently beside him.



There was a lot of talk..but I could not draw my mind completely from the deaths, not only of my friends, but the loved one I had spoken of. He was too heavily guarded.

I listened as I drew alongside the dark form of woundwort.

`Ducky

`Ducky

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who was getting very angry at sakura for wrecking the party, then looked at the evil the lurked outside.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Must... not... lose... control...

*all of a sudden a slew of dark robes appeared around BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ*

*then BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ cast crimson shield orbs a plenty around everybunny*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Good Luck, this is all the i think i should give, for the sake that i don't lose control.

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ floats behind the bar and presses the Tavern Defence Initiation Button*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: D*** this is really making me mad... everything has to messup when i try and have fun for once.



many rabbits readied thier weapons, sitting in defense while the enemy approached, others hid in fear or confusion. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ stood and studied the monster.

[FreeLance57]

(swears bitterly)



"they know I have the ring"



"who are they?" ducky asked.





"RingWraiths."



"Whatever those are."





I stepped forward, out of my shield.





"It is me they want, Beau." i yelled.



Raisng my staff in the air I cried out "Kuldin falar e trevol! Sare e kuldin falar e trevol!"



the rain out side hushed. The lighting stopped. Wind began to blow.



a ball of condinsation was forming around the end of my staff. Soon it grew into a large ball of water.



The Ringwraiths stood, anchored with fear. I could see them for who they were, as I was also in their realm.





"e Trevol!" I shouted, and the water sprang forth from my staf. An ice cold water. It encircled them at first, then totall surrounded them, top bottom and sides.



"Sare kuldin!"



it froze solid around them. I could hear them wailing inside the thick walls of ice.

[FreeLance57]

oops. i thought he meant a slew as in a lot of them. ah well.

[Sakura]

Murder....is what I normally do.



Dude, that is rude.



I shall not hear.



Let me tell you something...something:



I forget. Sorry. Brb

[FreeLance57]

you're evil, sakura. please let's make this a little more good instead of evil stuffs.



notice that our characters are having a good time or being good people (eg., destroying ringwraiths).



if you want to be evil, be evil, but please let us have a good time.



you murder? isn't that pretty evil?

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

(hmmmmmmmm.... well...I didn't exactly mean for righwariths or demons to appear, that was actually just my robes appearing around me as kind of an entrance to my "Magic" side of me... but oh well, that'll have to do... of course, now, the plot is kinda split... oh well :P psst... btw, if u haven’t read the whole LOTR series, the ring was destroyed http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif i guess i shall have to revise my typing in order to not confuse people. and as a final note,({no offense meant} plz consult ur Sindarin Dictionary for magical words http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif actually, I’ll give u it through icq if u want)

=============================================

*Like dark mists, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's robes appeared out of thin air, thus empowering him a tad more him into more of a mood to use magiks*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: this is preposterous, ringwraiths coming here!

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ starts to chant a magic spell of greater power which requires chanting*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Im can am I balan uin glauer na dag nîn coth!

*Just then, 4 immense lightning bolts came from all directions, striking the ice ball and electrifying all the ringwraiths inside*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: that should do it... luckily i didn't release too much power.... now to worry about the other approaching enemy...



======================================

finally, sakura, i agree, i ask that u stop being so EVIL... i mean, the wartavern is for fun. with every now and then some action, yet, still somewat comical action. ur post bring people down. they are sad, which i don't care about the violence. and it's not the fact that they do bring people down, but it's ALWAYS "our fate", " u can't be happy" "nraaaaaahhhh", i mean, every once and a while, ok, go ahead, be evil , but u gotta be funny too sometimes, otherwise, take it to a story of ur own, plz.

[FreeLance57]

lol that's the problem in doing these multipul people stories. no one knows where the other one is going with it. http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif





(btw, read my character bio in one of the other threads. Willet has a ring, but not the Ash Nazg)

[FreeLance57]

I stared at Beau in a mix of surprise and respect. I never knew he had such great power.





"Good show, Beau. But I hardly felt a shiver. Something tells me that wasn't your best."

[The Last Patriot]

Sakura, we dont need people like you in our community, we are here to have fun and enjoy each others storys and humorous stuff,

if you dont like it go join the MurderDeathKill messageboard or something.

[Sakura]

Hate to annoy you, but that's me. That's how I am (at least online). Darkness is part of my mind.



Should I simply kill myself and be done with it? Would that help you a lot? It's not like no one else on this board has ever been one bit violent.



Therefore, perhaps I should go outside and shoot myself. Would that be all right with you? Would you be satisfied?

[FreeLance57]

"that's how i am (at least online)."



in other words, it isn't how you are but how you choose to be.



yes, we are violent, but we don't jump up and stab people for asking if they wanted something to drink.



killing is one thing, but muder is another.

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



Suddenly, Batty Buddy, whom everyone had forgotten, hence his survival, came up with an idea.



"THIS looks like a job for: THE ALTURNATE REALITY BUTTON!!!!"

"Nooo!!! Batty-Don't" everyone else cried. If Batty pushed that button, everything would go haywire...

but it was too late. Batty drew a button labled 'AR' on the wall and pushed it.



When the flash stopped, everyone was wearing polka-dotted kilts.

"Oops... Sorry, not the reality I was looking for..." Batty sheepishly pushed the button again.



>Poof< everyone's fur was a different color.

"Jeeze. What's wrong with this thing today?" asked the light green bat. He pushed it again.



>Poof<...

[Violet CLM]

UnPooF

Batty Buddy had Sakura's head, Ducky was covered in Blacksheep's fur, who was trying to walk in Cobra's shoes, Freelance and Slayer had become siamese twins and Beauman had turned into... Gizmo? Also, the AR button had turned into a box entitled "SAV TEH DUKKY FUND" (With backwards ks) and so couldn't be pressed anymore. Looked like the taverners were stuck with this reality for a while... (Oh, and unless I did my math wrong this is the sixth page. Hmmm, carry the 30...)

[Sakura]

Suicide would probably be the best path for me to take. Shall I simply.....?



And be done with it.

[Willet]

my signature was once "Seppuku: When you've tried everything." lol

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Hey! I'm Gizmo! that popular wabbit who makes tight stuff!http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif all hail Gizmo http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_wink.gif

*then as simply as he made the button, Batty Buddy redrew the button*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: oi! Batty! Turn us back! Or else I’ll throw a plot hole on ya!

*Batty pushed the button again, causing everyone to change genders*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hey! I was VERY fond of me manhood, y'know! That’s it!

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ throws a PlotHoleâ„¢ over Batty Buddy's head, causing part of Batty's body to be on the other side of the hole*

Batty Buddy: No!!!!!! The Agony! The Pain! The...... TORTURE!

*On the other side of the plot hole could be seen an alternate universe that had (de) evolved into ranting purple dinosaurs with green spots on them*

Barney1: hey, look everybody! a new buddy to play with! let's sing a song!

" I love you, you love me, we're all a...

(For the sanity of our audience, i shall not end the rest of the songhttp://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif)

*Many muffled screams could be heard from batty buddy*

Freelance: Hmmmmmmm... I wonder wat could be in that plot hole that makes him scream like that?

*Then Batty stuck his head out, breathing heavily*

Batty Buddy: DON"T ever... do... that... again... *huff*

*Batty buddy then plopped his back on the AR button*

Batty Buddy: E hehe... erm... Oops?

*Suddenly the Alternate Realities sped by so fast, that, after almost erasing Carrotus, it broke*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hey... i'm back to normal...

*Checks his pants*... phew http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

Some Drunken Rabbit: Hey! The monster's gone!

*And so the rabbits rejoiced over Batty doing something right for once, going back to their bad drinking habits*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hmmmmm... now to restart the taps...

FREE DRINKS FOR EVERYBUNNY!!!!!!!

*a large cheer went across the tavern, causing the rabbits to stampede to the front of the bar*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok, one at a time! Oi! RB17! give me a hand here!

RB17: Right away, sir!

*Ducky then emerged from her hiding place, running up behind the bar*

Ducky: And i suppose this all goes on your tab? *Ducky glares at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, which men prefer to call this glare "The Look"*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: E he.... ummmmmm... well.... EXTRA DRINKS FOR GETTING A DUCK FEATHER!

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then runs away from chaos and ducks behind his shop counter while everyone walks towards Ducky like zombies*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ calls his robot, then powers up the shields around his shop, yet still kinda feeling guilty for such a cruel act he committed http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

============================================

sorry if i killed the "how to save us" plot, but i wrote this after i realized that there was a page 6 http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[Sakura]

Sakura grabbed her dagger and went outside. She knew what she had to do. Would someone stop her? Should she simply finish the job and leave forever?



Sorry about the desolate Tavern. I shall go to Inle` and die. Inle`, the blackest of dark places.

[Ducky]

A dismal voice halted the evil intentions of Sakura.

"Wanna do me in while you're at it, ma'am? Or just lend me the knife."

I spoke droopily. Sakura gave her an incredulous look. "Pardon?(whoa, such manners we have here)" I gestured to her dagger paw and struck a dramatic pose. "I wish that I have but one..never mind." I slumped to the ground with my penguin. "Fine. BE selfish. Its a cruel world. But I figure if two are going, who not three. Eheh, weird logic."

Sakura was blank, expressionless. "What."

I shrugged and lifted my eyes to the nice fluffy raindrops that were coming down."I have no reason to live. You just figure everyone hates you. Thats no reason to die. When just about everyone you loved is dead already, though, then you have a reason. Be with your friends and all. But never mind." I took Chatters and stepped towards a cliff. Forcing a laugh, "Heh, at least I'm not suffocating, eh? I always thought the worst ways to die were to suffocate and be drowned. I won't mention the rest.

..I woul've liked to die in battle though. Shame all your dreams can' come true." I rambled. Sakura's face had changed, was now wearing one of insanity on my part. "Um.."

I laughed insanely. "He's dead, or dying anyway. There's no way of saving anyone in this world, so I might as well go too. Godspeed, Sakura, see you wherever we end up." I pitched over the edge of the (convenient, eh) cliff having[seemed to have] tripped over a protruding tree root.

"wait, " Sakura said.

"Eh?" I caught myself in midair.

"I challenge you!"



Geez, this is the most depressing bar I have ever been in. No wonder I'm lobbing myself off a cliff http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

`Ducky



_________________

"I didn't go wrong."

TMV

[Sakura]

End of life. Game over. Now what?



Sad, ain't it? But maybe I deserve it. I deserve it. Yes I do.

[The Last Patriot]

Errr.. now you cant post here anymore..you killed your online self remember?



Take care..

[Sakura]

Ghost I can. DuH.

[Coppertop]

Whoa, 2 pages added already. . . that is since I was last here. . . excitement!



"I'm leaving. This is too wierd," CT said, grabbing someone else's hat and heading out the door. The hat owner tackled her, and wrestled the hat away from her. CT then stumbled out the door, as she had been pushed.

Meanwhile, Ducky and Sakura were looking at each other with "insanity" written all over their faces when CT bumped into them. With a mumbled "exuse me" she hurried away before anything else could happen. . . and promptly found herself back in the Tavern. . .

[Ducky]

The first thing I saw was the Titans were still outside, roasting marshmallows over a small purple fire.



There was a light at the end of my tunnel, just the way Blackie had said in her poetrys.

Everything was so beautiful.

Sakura! Look! You can see the whole world from here!



I sobbed as if my heart was broken. It was, in truth. But I couldn't get back inside!

Hey..someone open the 'Tavern door..



I couldn't touch the past anymore..and I could hear the music seeping through the door.





What?

`Ducky

[Coppertop]

Umm. . . Okay.

[FreeLance57]

I walked back over to my chair and sat down.



"Can a guy get a beer around here?"

[Cobra]

Her eyes flashed as she heard the mention of suicide.

Standing up, she called for the attention of everyone. Of course, no one hear her, but she started anyway.

"To live is indeed to die; but is it to die that we must live? Life is short and full of hardships I must confess; and even I have considered taking my own life to stop it.

"But is it worth it? Is that one act worth it?

"You all do know that we must die whether by our own hands, by our enemies, or by our Deity's; but why must we cut short our life and stifle the times that we know shall be better?

"Living is harder than dying; suicide is the cowards' way. To die you no longer feel the pain of a broken heart; no more will the loneliness of the night darken your life. You will pass into the unknown and leave all your troubles behind. But to live is to say I am not a coward. To live is to say I will not bend to the will of those against me." She struck her fist into her opened palm.

"To live is to have life that while short is sweet and all we shall ever have. To die in cowardice for life hasn't lived up to the expectation that you, a mortal has set up for it is the job and the fate of a fool." She raised her hand, now mottled with her own blood.

"This is my blood, and this is not the last blood you shall see. You say you are feared, you say you are a terror. But what feared warlord is it who cannot live with their very selves? How can others fear you if you fear yourself so much as you would kill yourself? Will you now die and silence your fate just because of rejection, or will you stand and proclaim that you are the master of your fate and that they are not? Will you compair yourself to your Deity? Are you the one who decides who lives and dies, or are you just a mortal who is sick of herself?"

She breathed out a troubled breath, then turned and strayed out into the dark.

[Ducky]

I stared.

"I wasn't commiting suicide. I was contemplating suicide. But oh well." I wiped the mud off my feet and poured Lancie a reddish tinted tankard of beer. "There y'go, Lance.." Drifting away..

Hah! The jukebox was going. I shoved Cobra at Slay.



I decided to regain my bartendingness and sat on my stool behind the counter next to the silent NightFire, trying to count stars out the window but only succeeding in spilling a bottle of wine.

`Ducky

[FreeLance57]

(chug chug)



mmmmmm...





refreshing, with a hint of raddish.

[Ducky]

That's one of NightFire's special one's, I said, beaming.

Heehee.

`Ducky

[FreeLance57]

(a drunk nightfire takes a bow)





(freelance stands up)



LADIES AND GENTLEFISTTTTTTSD...(i fell over into the floor, face down)



(jumped up)



'No no, I'm fine!' i said to the croud of people who were still just talking and having a good time.

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ walked out of his shop, seeing that the turtles were still setup in the pens, and that the stadium was still up.

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ brushed off his tux and went up to the microphone*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: LADIES AND GENTLEBUNNIES! i present to u, once again, hopefully NOT interupted...

CANNIBAL FEUD!!!!!!!!!

*the crowd cheered and many drunk rabbits started to fill the stands*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: And Now, we present, our competitor who voluteered earlier for this round... Give a big round applause for....... FREELANCE!!!!!!!

*the crowd cheers again*

*Freelance looks over a tad bit confused and drunk like*

Freelance: waaat? but..

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: i said.... FREELANCE!!!!!!!

Freelance: but i'm still dru...

*just then some rabbits lifted him up and threw him in the ring*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: and ur oponent, Freelance, is...

*reads the card*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Tiny Tim!

Freelance: phew...

*all of a sudden a rather giant turtle stomped over to the other side of the ring*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: The Rule: no weapons, no magic, no electronics, no special powers, no nothing cept ur own body.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Now... Let the fight begin

*Ding*

...

=============================================

Freelance, u can go ahead and make up the fight, i'm a little lazy http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[FreeLance57]

I stood. My eyes afixed in a stare at my opponent. He was mongo.





He stood, laughing, with a hardy throaty chuckle.



"You tiny rabbit!" he charged. then stopped. Laughed. Ran a bit more. As if trying to scare me.





Now, I had a few drinks under my belt. Nothing scared me. And I wouldn't feel pain either. However, my barings were wrong and I was drunk.





I staggered around the ring.



The he ran toward me, and with a great shout he flew through the air, trying to pound me into the ground with his massive body.





"Not this time...turtle,"



I sidestepped (by accident actually, as i had lost my balance) just in time and he slammed into the ground.



I staggered again, not really understanding what was happening. As I fell over, my fist flew through the air and slammed into his head.



a great 'phllllshhht" was heard throughout the tavern.



My hand was green. Covered in turtle blood. Somehow my hand had gone through his head like it was a rotten pumpkin.

[Sakura]

Hyzenthlay was right. Things were never as they seemed. But down in the black depths of Efrafra, it was gloomy.



Where am I? Where shall I go from here?



The shining circle of the sun, the sun and the rabbit. Silverweed was wrong about this; nothing seems right.



Where did my heart go? I'm usually a good person, nice and warm, but now I'm rude and exceptionally evil.



Farewell. And no one inside was right about me.

[Coppertop]

You're beginning to sound a bit like Bliz in his 'depression' topic, Sakura! Lighten up!

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



((Batty is holding the hitchhikers guide to reality... He throws it away.)Sorry to say this, but the whole A.R. button was supposed to take our minds off suicide. I hate the thought of suicide poping up in this story- especially since I myself threatened to kill myself for 3 school years in a row.)



Batty looked at Freelance's hand. "Eeeeeew!! Better get that washed soon." He then pulled out an weegee board(Not to be confused with the Parker Brothers game. This thing is a cheap lousy immitation.) "Now, we gotta get Sakura back. My cosmic shift may be able to help, but I need some of your cooperation. Who's with me?"

[FreeLance57]

(freelance shuns the "weegee" board)



it's evil! (runs)

[The Last Patriot]

I'M WITH YOU BATTY, LETS GET MARRIED *scratch, scratch* LETS get SAKURA

[The Last Patriot]

Lets go get her batty,

*pulls out his rubber ducky and bares his fangs, then hands his rubber ducky to Cobra*

SlayeR: "Hold this for me Cobra, untill i return by thee side".

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



"Ok, SlayeR!" said Batty. "Hold on to your handguns, it's going to be a bumpy ride."

Both of them put one of their hands/wings on the weegee board slider, and Batty use his free wing to pull out a portable hole out of his backpack. "Now... No matter what happens, don't let go of the slider. Or else you'll be trapped in purgatory- and that kind of thing can REALLY ruin a guy's day."

He then threw the hole to the floor and both of them dropped into it...

"Wooow!" said SlayeR. "So this is the underworld."

"Yeah," said Batty. "You have no idea how releved I am right now that we're just visiting."

Purgatory in fact looked like a large doctor's waiting room, compleate with back copies of national geographic. And over in the corner, reading the April issue, was Sakura.

"Let's get going!" said Batty. We got to get her to touch the slider to take her back alive..."

[Coppertop]

lol

[FreeLance57]

(you failed to mention it was the april, 1987 issue http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif)





lol



lol



(cough)

[Coppertop]

Eh. . .



Copper had drunk just enough carrot wine that she was feeling slightly dizzy and immensely cheerful. The Tavern spun, and she happily clung to her stool and ordered yet another glass. However, outside the Tavern someone began nailing the door to the frame, and it prepared to do something even more drastic. . .

[FreeLance57]

FreeLance finished nailing the door shut then realised he had nailed himself out.



So what did he do?



He climbed through the window.





'Wait a second...if one can climb in...can't one climb out?' he thought.





(ugh, switching to first person now)



so what did i do, you ask?



I sealed the window shut with a never melting ice!

[Sakura]

Hate to disappoint you, Slayer, but you can't get me (even though you say so). Unless you want to look for me in Inle`-rah. Would you really?



Nailing yourself out...oh wonderful wonderful http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_lol.gif



"Hmmmm," muttered someone. "I can hear Sak, but I can't see her. What the heck--"



"Call me Sak, and I'll call you something equally detestable. Now, give FreeLance another bag of nails and a few boards so that he can do the other door." Lock everyone in! That should be fun! http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

[The Last Patriot]

You hear her batty!!

She's in Inle- 'Ra,

Whats Inle- 'Ra?



Just tell us and we'll warp right over.

[Ducky]

Its like...where rabbits go after they die or something? From WaterShip D.



Mmmkay. (is it working?) Can come on the expedition to save Sakura?! Pleaseness, I could..um..I don't know. can I come anywayyy? Black's gone away and I have no one to talk to...

http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif

`Ducky

[The Last Patriot]

noone to talk to?

that kinda hurts my feelings you know

[Willet]

lol slayo.







(grabs bag of nails and boards from mysterious hand) (runs and nails other door shut from outside)



(jumps through other window)



(seals it with the same ice things)

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ heard of a conversation of getting Sakura*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: oi! ya, u! Here’s a tux, u host for now!

Drunk Rabbit: *Hic* ok. *Hic* *Hic* *Barf*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Inle`-rah... heh, I can prolly get u there... course if i opened a portal for ya, u gotta pay my tab here, cause I’m very close to getting the funding for a new star cruiser... that'd make it worth my while...

Slayer and Batty Buddy (in unison): OK! Deal!

*They all three shook on it*

Slayer (whispering to Batty Buddy): man... wat a steal... we're totally getting the better end of the bargain here



BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok.... let me warm up here...

*with a large popping sound, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's robes appear onto him*

*pops knuckles*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok... let's see here... hey RB17! Get me that inter-dimensional warp director! That might be able to boost the process....

*RB17 brings a small box with a rather weird antenna on it*

*Types in a few things*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok... now...

*He waves his hand in a ritualistic motion*

*A red portal appears*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok... don't go in yet...

*He then summons a large ring mithril around the portal with many engravings, and then electrifies it with lightning*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: *huff* *huff* that... should do it...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sticks his hand through the portal, then out again*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok, go ahead and use it.

Batty Buddy: ok, get on the board, slayo!

*Slayer and batty get on the board*

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then gives them a push, and the whoosh through the portal*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: *huff* good luck... *catches his breath from the hard magic stuffness*. Hey ducky... erase my name from the tab, put Slayer's and Batty's name on it, they said they'd pay it!

Ducky: eh? Their gonna pay all of it? But it's Ç 27,638,491 (Ç = Carroton Currency).

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: they said they'd pay it, so take my name off of there.

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pulls up a comfy chair and waits for slayer and batty to return*

[Ducky]

I-didn't meaaan-*stutter* sorry Slayyyie!

I mean..and Lancie I can talk to me too.

Arrrgh. I mean, no one..never mind. I can be the lighthearted inane element.

Kay?! Pleez!

`Ducky

[Violet CLM]

*Find Ducky and pushes her through the portal before BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ closes it* My good deed for the day, wot?

[Willet]

hey!



(forces beau to reopen portal)





(drags duck out by her...wing)



(throughs unknown into protal)

[Violet CLM]

(Ducky has wings?) *Pulls Willet and Ducky in with him* This was your fault, Willet. Now we're all in here. *Portal closes... again*

[FreeLance57]

(prays really hard)





all of a sudden, FreeLance Ducky and Unknown reapear in the tavern. the portal is totally gone for now. hah

[BæÅüMà Ñ]

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who fell asleep in his nice comfy chair, wakes up, noticing only a giant mithril ring sitting there

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: huh... wat? WHO THE HECK CLOSED THE PORTAL?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

*He then glances over at Ducky, Freelance, and Unknown, noticing they still have inter-dimensional mists seeping off them*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: You... DO U KNOW WAT U DID?!?!?!?!?!

Unknown: No....

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: well... THEY MIGHT BE TRAPPED IN THERE FOR ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unknown: Oh....

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok... Freelance... u were somehow remotely involved in this... so...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ runs up and puts his hands on Freelance's Shoulders*

Freelance: wat... are u do, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ?

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: easy.... getting a recharge...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ flashes a wicked grin*

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then starts absorbing some of Freelance's power*

Freelance: Arg... Stop... It...

*Then BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ lets go of Freelance's shoulders*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Soul Sap, i just sapped some of ur energy... plz forgive me, but if i don't reopen that portal, they could possibly be lost...

*Freelance then stood up again, coming back from almost blacking out*

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then pressed a variation of buttons for the inter-dimensional coordinates for the Inter-dimensional Warp Director to scan*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok... lets see here...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ reopens the dimension warp*

*Then BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ electrifies it with a red bolt of lightning*

*Then, as bright as da... well, not as day, but, really bright, the portal was open*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: phew.... let's hope it work...

*All of a sudden drained by the energy it took and in the amount of time, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ plopped onto the couch*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: look... I’m gonna... *yawn*... maintain this in my sleep... i want youz not to touch it, ok? btw, ducky, Unknown now has to pay the tab that slay and batty was gonna pay, k? Now I’m going to sle...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then fell asleep, waiting for slayer and batty to return*

[FreeLance57]

(walks over and knocks the legs off of beau's chair using a blast of ice from across the room)



beau jumped up and looked around.



everyone snickered, but no one made any sign to who'd done it.



my ice was totally deminished, so he couldn't know it was me. huhuhuhuhuhuh.

[*BlackSheep]

(since when did everyone leave the Tavern...?)



Grabbing a tray of ice cubes from the freezer of the Tavern, Beuthing chucked them at Lancie from across the room. He has suspected Lanice. An all out war started. People took sides. Brother against brother and all that stuff. Ducky broke a bottle of wine over the head of Unknown, who has unwittingly sided with Beuthing. Ah, such is life. Anyway, it ended up with someone knocking over the candle (I'm so clumsy, dontcha know. Stopp hitting me ole Duck http://jazz2.nagcentral.com/forum/images/smiles/icon_smile.gif) and the fight continueing on heaps of rubble where the beauuutiful War Tavern had once stood.



*Black

[FreeLance57]

uh...





(opens up midsection)





(you know, like in cartoons. the 'joey-pouch' effect)



(retrieves time ship)



(goes back to just before he blasted beau's chair legs)





(doesn't do anything bad)



(stands around)



(chugs some fresh mead)

[Batty Buddy]

Que Passa!!!!



Meanwhile, Batty- who had NOT been dragged out of the portal, was trying to figure out where the heck he was...

It appeared to be a large forest- which Batty didn't mind all that much; he had been born and raised in a forest, but not in one where all the trees looked like they had faces.

"Geese..." he said timidly. "This is some serious Scooby Doo stuff going down here." He started to walk where the woods looked thinner, singing a little diddy he had no idea where he heard it from, but it seemed approprite.

"Oo-ree-o, Coooookies, Oo-ree-o, Coooookies, Oo-ree-o, Coooookies," Soon he heard sounds comming from the bush and sang another song.

"Possums, and Raccoons, and Owls- Oh my...Possums, and Raccoons, and Owls- Oh my...Possums, and Raccoons, and Owls- Oh my..."

Suddenly, he stopped and felt something bump into his leg from behind. With a heroic cry of "PLEASEDON'TKILLME!PLEASEDON'TKILLME!" he turned around and saw a little black dog.

"How long have YOU been following me?" Asked Batty. The dog barked and jumped into his arms. "I hate to tell you, mutt, but I'm as lost as you are." He reached for his nametag. "What's your name, anyway... 'Toto'? Didn't I see you on those 'Lone Ranger' movies?"

Suddenly, out of the shadows popped a large owl wearing an cheifs hat. That was enough of a hint for Batty to get his little edible tail the heck outta there in a hurry, with the dog in his wings, and the owl on his heals.

[Violet CLM]

Back at the <strike>ranch</strike> Tavern, Never Mind was sitting on the floor, dazed. (This is a standard after-effect of going in and out of a portal at high speed) He started when someone said his name. (Not his name, but what everyone calls him. I.E. Unknown) "Yes?" It was Ducky, with BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's bar tab. "Pay up. I'm sorry, nothing personal, but I HAVE to pay for the door somehow." Never Mind looked at the number, noticed Ducky unrolling it further and further, and fainted. When he recovered, he did the logical thing. He edited his profile on page 1 of the profile thread and gave himself tons of money. He gave some to Ducky, put away his lap top and put a small "kick me" sign on BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ while no one was watching.

[Tanpopo Kiku]

Dear FreeLance, hitting people's chairs with your ice isn't a way to make friends! Ah, you shall not freeze me, because I am non-existant! TRy if you want, but you won't ever get me.



Nevar thought I'd mysteriously pop up from nowhere, eh? Well, as Pizzie always says, so NYA!



Hah! Now that I scared you guys.....heh....

[Ducky]

I just found a huge clue. I mean, really.

Nevar mind, though. *choke* Secret..*gasp*identity*gasp* Hi SssssTannie. I mean Ta..Tannie, yeah.



Okay. Here, now there is ice everywhere, y'all can have a round of spiced hot cider on me.

In tankards.

Oohyeah.

`Ducky