| Jan 18, 2001, 12:07 PM | |
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Woulfe
Junior Member posted January 12, 2001 12:13 PM ====================================== Jazz Jackrabbit 3D : In Search Of Razz ====================================== PROLOGUE : As You Recalled Last Time ====================================== Devan Shell had been defeated a 2nd time, but like all villians he escaped claiming "I'll be back, just you wait & see" all villians do that, it's in thier contract, you knew that right ? Anyhoo, Jazz & Eva were married, maybe now she wouldn't be a damsel in disstress, but a damsel in a dress instead [heh heh heh] Spaz started going out with Lori, what she sees in him god only knows... "He makes me laugh, don't you know" Okay, whatever... Basicly all was right with the universe, BUT.... [there's allways a BUT, it's in the bylaws of the universe, just like the villian getting away claiming he'll return someday to get revenge, you know how it is] Something was wrong, there was a feeling of DOOMSDAY in the air around our heros as if a big dark cloud was looming over them, a big dark cloud called "We're not going to make another Jazz game" What will become of our heros ? Will they survive ? Will we ever see more rabbits added to the series ? Will the fans hold out for a few years waiting for Jazz Jackrabbit 2.5D : In Search Of A Game ? No one could answer these questions & many more as we watch helplessly as the big dark cloud surrounded our heros & they all vanished before our very eyes ! One thing was certain, whatever was going to happen had happen allready & there was no stopping it now, for our heros now were about to become stars in a brand new story by a certain NUT from Colorado & his wolf.... ============================================ ACT ONE : The Search For Razz Starts ============================================ CHAPTER ONE : Hail, Hail, The Gang's All Here ============================================ Jazz awoke with a headach... where am I he thought to himself... Where ever he was it was dark, he couldn't see, he started to feel around for a light switch, he couldn't find one, he yealled out "where are the bloody lights ?" as soon as he said lights, the lights came on.... Jazz blinked, it was a little too bright in here now, "too bright" he said, and the lights dimmed... "there, that's better" he commented, he then saw he was in a room of some kind, ALONE... He wondered who or what turned on the lights here ? He looked around & saw smooth greyish walls for the most part, then he saw something familure looking, like a little cubby-hole about 3ft up on one wall, he walked over to it & said "Tea... Earl Grey.... Hot..." A few seconds later a mug of steaming hot Tea was there in the little cubby-hole "Great another Jazz Trek episode" he grumbled, but no, he must be wrong, this didn't look anything like the Enterprize J, it looked more like one of the ones from the Star Trek films, it dawned on him that this adventure was going to be a lot different. HOWEVER.... [there's allways a however =)] Jazz still had a killer headach, he reached up to hold his head, that's when he saw his paws.... "AaaaaaaHhhhhhhh !" They didn't look the same as they did back on Carrotus they had depth to them, in fact they look like they were rendered on a Silicon Graphics workstation by Industral Light & Magic, just then a bill from ILM was in his paw, he looked at how much money was being waisted while he was just standing there looking himself over.... "Holy Hanna-Barbera !" He blinked again, "I better do something soon" He got dressed in a standard issue regulation Star Fleet [r, tm, c, 2001 Paramount Pictures Corp. ] uniform.... He then left his quarters.... MEANWHILE.... [there's allways a meanwhile] Spaz, Eva & Lori were going through the same experiance as what Jazz went through... Hey, you saw this comming, didn't you ? =) When they all left their quearters they all ran into each other outside in the hallway.... After they all saw that they were all okay, just extreamly three dimentional now, they proceeded to the bridge of the Starship [r, tm, c, 2001 Paramount Pictures Corp. Again] Once on the bridge, Jazz saw that the captain's chair was empty, he knew it was for him, so he sat in it.... Spaz took his post at the science.... Lori took here post at tactical [hey, it's better then haveing Devon there, don't you think ?] Eva took her post at communications.... The other posts on the bridge were filled with other 3D cartoon animals, A wolf, A fox, A bear, and so forth and so on.... Jazz wondered why Devon was nowhere to be seen on this ship, he soon got his answer... The main viewscreen came alive and there on it was Devon Shell, also rendered in 3D.... The bills from ILM were pileing up fast now, multiplying like tribbles in a storage compartment full of grain.... No you fool it's not grain it's Quatrotritcaly, Nimrod, Sheesh ! Uh, yea, I knew that, Anyhoo.... Devon looked a little different somehow, perhaps it was the fact that the top of his head was all lumpy now like, like, a KLINGON's [r, tm, c, 2001, yada yada yada, you know the drill by now] Devon spoke "I have your brother hostage !" Spaz raised his paw, "How could you i'm right here" He commented.... Devon rolled his eyes.... More ILM bills were filling up the bridge up to everyone's knees.... "No you fool, your OTHER brother" Devon said.... Jazz looked puzzed.... The ILM bills were now at everyone's waist.... Actually he allways looks puzzled, this is just a more puzzed looked then before, you know what I mean ? No, I don't know what you mean, but please get on with the story your driveing everyone insane with all this side tracking that's going on.... Oh, sorry, let's see where were we, Ah yes, here we are, chapter one, page 1... Jazz awoke with a headach.... No, try further down, that's the top of the page for crying out loud, sheesh... Oh ? Yea, your right.... Jazz was puzzled "I have 2 brothers, when did THIS happen ?" Eva looked over to Jazz, "Well, you see when mommy rabbits & daddy rabbits love each other very much...." Jazz rolled his eyes.... The ILM bills were now up to everyone's chest.... "You know it'd be nice if we could do something about these ILM bills" Spaz commented to no one in particular.... Just then Bob the janitor walked onto the bridge with an ACME [r, tm, c, 2001 ACME industries corp] Suck-O-Lux 3465 vacume cleaner & got rid of the ILM bills that were pileing up.... AND, there was much rejoiceing.... "yea" Devon now free to talk now that the bills were all cleaned up "This OTHER brother" he pressed a button & the main view screen flashed to beach vollyball being played by curvy bunny babes "oops, wrong channel" Devon said.... The main view screen flickered again.... This time the crew was treated to a Godzilla flick "RrrrrrrAaaaaaaHhhhhh" boom, crash, there goes Tokeyo AGAIN.... "I really should get this thing fixed" Devon muttered more to himself then anyone else, he pusshed the button a 3rd time & the main view screen switched to a desserted planet.... Dune ? No, not Dune, this one had a cherry on top & whipped cream, silly.... Oh A Dessert planet, not a Desert planet, I should of known.... Rolls eyes... Just then Bob showed up & handed the ILM bills to the story writers.... Ack ! Eep ! ============================================ CHAPTER TWO : Razz Jackrabbit, Come On Down ============================================ Ext : Prune - The Dessert Planet - Day - Razz is sitting on a piece of rock candy that's floating in a sea of whipped cream topped w/ nuts & chocolate syrup.... [mmmmmmm] Razz Jackrabbit [talking to main viewscreen] Help Me Obi Wan Kenobi, You're My Only Hope ! -------------------------------------------- Wrong movie stupid, this is Star Trek ]|[.... Not Star Wars : A New Hope, sheesh.... Oh yea, sorry about that, hard to see w/ all these ILM bills around us.... -------------------------------------------- Razz was all alone on the dessert planet Prune, things weren't going well for him after all, just this morning he was just sitting at home minding his own buisness when a big black dark cloud swooped down on him, now normaly when a big dark black cloud swoops down on you, you panic, but not Razz, he was a tough cookie.... -------------------------------------------- A tough cookie ? On a dessert planet ? Gosh yer makin' me hungry, Chris.... Do you mind Woulfe ? I'm trying to not go off track, like you told me too earlyer.... Oh, okay, get on with it then.... -------------------------------------------- Razz was captured by Devon Shell when he awoke in this 3D universe then placed on this desserted planet, giant gummy worms lived on this planet along w/ several strange creatures that lived off the spice that coated the planet Prune.... * BAM * Let's Kick It Up A Notch ! More spice rained down from the sky onto planet Prune, Razz felt like heck, what a strange situation to be in, he knew deep down inside who was behind all of this.... "Chris, why do I have to be in this crazy story ?" He asked the head writer of this.... -------------------------------------------- "Because it's all part of the plot, silly" I said to him as he sat there, Desserted.... "Oh that's just silly" Said Woulfe, who looked at me like I was out of my mind to do this thing.... -------------------------------------------- Razz rolled his eyes, somewhere more ILM bills were pileing up around someone makeing it harder to type out a story logicaly.... MEANWHILE.... [here we go again] Jazz looked at the main view screen in shock "That's my OTHER brother ?" Devon Shell rolled his eyes [$] "No, It's Jack Robinson, of course it's your other brother, who do you think it is, sheesh, how someone so stupid could defeat me twice, i'll never know" Jazz smiled "It was easy to defeat you twice, I didn't have to THINK about it" Spaz laughed out loud as well as did the rest of the crew, hey, it was a funny joke, can you blame them ? Devon was livid ! No, scratch that, he was furious ! No wait, he wasn't pleased.... "I was ticked off ?" Devon interjected.... Okay, Devon was ticked off ! How dare Jazz & his crew laugh at him, his plan was brilliant, it was ingenous, it was pretty good.... It was simple ! Kidnap one of Jazz's relitives hold them hostage somewhere to prevent a 3rd game from being made so he couldn't be defeated a 3rd time.... -------------------------------------------- "You know, that actually sounds stupid...." Said Woulfe to me.... "Who asked you ?" I said.... "Nobody, but please, do go on w/ this story" Woulfe said.... "Fine" Said I.... -------------------------------------------- Razz was thinking of a way out of this situation, a light bulb appered over his head [$] He reached up & turned it on [$] needless to say this story was costing a lot of money so far if it were to be done as a film.... Razz had a plan, it was fool-proof, meaning that even Devon couldn't mess it up.... "Hey, are you makeing fun of me ?" Devon asked the writers.... -------------------------------------------- "Could Be...." Said Me & Woulfe, snickering.... -------------------------------------------- Devon frowned, everyone seemed against him, like allways, poor guy, let's all pitty him... "aaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww" said everyone.... "Don't patronize me...." Devon said.... MEANWHILE.... [what again ?] Back on the UROK-1701... Jazz asked for the location of Prune, the dessert planet, once they had the location the ship JUMPED to warpped speed.... * BOING ! * BOING ! * BOING ! * BOING ! * No, not litterally, sillies, oy vey.... * Whooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosh ! * There, that's better.... ============================================ ACT TWO : Plans, Plans, Plans.... ============================================ CHAPTER THREE : Planing Stages.... ============================================ Jazz knew that they were heading into a trap, it HAD to be a trap, knowing Devon, BUT what kind of trap was waiting for him & his crew ? Devon told his crew to put his ship into cloak, a big black tarp was put over the ship so it would blend in w/ outer space itself.... Razz was getting the creatures of Prune together, teaching them the WEIRDing way, now if Devon's minions showed up they had to face an army of WEIRDos, and you know how terrifying that can be.... ILM bills were pouring out into the streets from my home in Longmont, flooding the streets w/ millions of tons of paper.... Woulfe was giving up on trying to understand what kind of story I was typeing out & just sat this one out, waiting for me to finish it and get back to typeing fantasy stories.... I still was typing up a storm trying to get this story to get to the important part, the big old battle sequence between lotsa reptiles & losa mammals in space & on the planet.... Bob the janitor was trying to keep the ILM bills at bay, but there was too many of them now, it was an impossible task.... -------------------------------------------- The Enterprize [r, tm, c, 2001, ect....] arrived at the planet Prune, going into standard orbit around the planet.... Jazz told everyfur to keep a sharp look out for anything strange.... Spaz pointed to the writers.... Jazz said, "No, on the main view screen...." -------------------------------------------- Razz was waiting on the planet below for signs of Devon's goons, his army was hidden among the whipped cream loaded w/ WEIRDing weapons of all kinds, he wouldn't have to wait long.... * BAM ! * Let's Kick It Up A Notch ! A fresh batch of spice was raining down on Razz & his army, just the cover they need for the EPIC battle that was about to take place on Prune.... -------------------------------------------- Lori spotted something on the main viewscreen that didn't look right to her, she walked over to Jazz & pointed to what looked like a shadow moveing across the stars.... Jazz looked at where Lori was pointing at he commented that it could possibly be a cloak covering a ship, large enough to cover up a scout class ship as a matter of fact... Scotchy put the ship on red alert.... * AaaaaHhhhhWwwwwOooooGgggggAaaaaa ! * -------------------------------------------- To Be Cont.... -------------------------------------------- |
| Mar 20, 2002, 03:08 PM | |
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I can't help but revive this topic. For one of the oldest stories on the JCF, it's pretty darn funny and good. Why didn't you continue it, shad?
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But perhaps the most likely reason of all, was that his bombs were simply two sizes too small |
| Mar 20, 2002, 07:06 PM | |
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Yes, it's by Woulfe. Taken over from the JMMB.
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