For those of you who haven't heard of Zork (any number), it's one of the games made by Infocom, which were these text adventures where you'd type in something and something would happen, instead of just using text for chat like we do nowadays..
Anyway, having not actually PLAYED said games, the only thing I have to work off of here is Other parodies of it, so please don't complain if something is rather unlike the real thing.
This is meant to be updated daily (though it may bog down after a while), and is likely to have no real plot, other then Spaz going around doing various things.
Note: Fans of Spaz may be moderately offended at occasional refrences to Spaz's brain and related parts. Blame the non capslock text (the parser).



SPAZQUEST
Recognizable place.
You are in a bed. Literally. You have somehow gotten yourself into the matress.

>EAT MATRESS
You're not hungry yet.

>LEAVE MATRESS
You see no opening.

>LOOK FOR OPENING
Your eyes are closed.

>OPEN EYE
Which eye, the left or the right one?

>BOTH
Your eyes are opened. There are openings all around you. In the fact, the matress is torn to shreds.

>TEAR MATRESS
The matress is already torn.

>LEAVE MATRESS
Which tear do you want to leave through?

>WHO CARES?
Not me.
You are standing in the middle of a large bedroom. A doorway goes through one of the walls, a torn matress lays on the floor next to you, and there is another bed nearby. Regular breathing emits from the bed.

>GO DOORWAY
The doorway didn't do anything worth praise.

>GO THROUGH DOORWAY
You crash into the door that I neglected to mention.

>GO THROUGH DOOR
You crash into the door, and this time you have no excuse.

>OPEN DOOR
You grab the convinient doorknob and spin it around furiously until the door opens.

>GO THROUGH DOORWAY
You are standing in front of an open door in the middle of a long hallway with lots more such doors in the walls.

>WHY?
Because you left the bedroom.

>GO HALLWAY
Rah, rah, rah.

>MOVE THROUGH HALLWAY
Which direction, left or right?

>LEFT
Right.

>NO, LEFT
Left, right.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>TURN LEFT, MOVE THROUGH HALLWAY
You are still in the hallway. Somewhere in the distance you see another hallway, parallel to this one.

>GO TO HALLWAY
Which hallway, the one you're in or the other one?

>THE OTHER HALLWAY
You walk along the hallway. In the distance you see the other hallway, though not so far off.

>GO TO OTHER HALLWAY
You continue walking for some time but eventually collapse from exhaustion right before reaching the other hallway.

>COLLAPSE
You already did.

>LOOK
Look at what?

>EVERYTHING
You attempt to view the entire universe in all its glory through your eyes, but faint from the effort.
Everything goes black.

>WHY?
You are no longer conscious.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>LIE STILL
You lie perfectly still. Having been unconscious such a great part of your life, you are an expert at controlling yourself while unconscious. You relax your muscles, your heart stops beating, you are no longer breathing..
Suddenly, you jolt upright, taking deep breaths. Don't try that again.

>LIE STILL
No.

>LIE STILL
That's really not a good idea.

>WHY?
Do you want to die? I don't think so.

>LOOK AROUND
You are laying face-first in the middle of a hallway. Many rabbits are gathered around you, talking.

>RABBITS?
Yes.

>SAVE
Game saved.

>EAT RABBITS
You jump up from the floor and leap at the nearest rabbit, looking as fierce as you possibly can. A rabbit from behind you raises a gun and fires, causing you to drop.
You are not dead, but your life is ebbing. You should do something fast.

>LIE STILL
Are you serious?

>YES
You are dead.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
Game restored.

>GET UP FROM FLOOR
You stand up wearily. The rabbits slowly start to walk away, no longer interested, until only three of them are left.

>LOOK AT RABBITS
Which rabbits, the ones who are left or the ones who left?

>THE ONES WHO ARE LEFT
One is blue, one is green, and the third is yellow. The green one is carrying a gun and cradling it protectively.

>SEARCH MEMORY
Their names are Eva, Jazz, and Lori. Your sister in law, brother, and sister, respectively.

>JAZZ, WHAT AM I DOING HERE?
"Not sure. We found you lying here, unconscious."

>JAZZ, WHY WAS I UNCONSCIOUS?
"Well, we consulted the security cameras which are focused around here and it appears you left your room, walked over here, and fell down unconscious."

>JAZZ, WHO AM I?
"Spaz, of course. Come on, we're late for breakfast."

>EAT BREAKFAST
You should go to the breakfast first.

>GO BREAKFAST
I agree. Breakfast rules.

>GO TO THE BREAKFAST
You take off in a mad run, surprising your immediate family members. After crashing into 7 walls, 2 doorways and 1.6 ceilings, you find yourself in the breakfast room.
Lots of rabbits are here.

>THE DINING ROOM?
No, the breakfast room.

>EAT BREAKFAST
Which breakfast do you mean, the one in front of your chair, or the breakfast the other rabbits are eating?

>MINE
You might want to sit down first.

>SIT DOWN
You sit down on the floor and start sucking your thumb.

>GET UP, SIT ON MY CHAIR
You do as you instructed.

>SAVE
Game sucessfully saved.

>EAT BREAKFAST IN FRONT OF ME
Emitting a scream of hunger, you open your mouth wide, pick up the plate, and pour all the contents between your teeth.

>BEAT CHEST
You beat your chest, until you hit yourself in just the wrong place and fall over, once more unconscious.

>WHO AM I?
You are Spaz. Your favorite color is imaginary. Your quest is to do whatever seems right at the time.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
(Nothing)
You also have an electric blue toothbrush attached to your head by means I won't even go into.

>LOOK AT TOOTHBRUSH
You seem to forget you are unconscious.

>DREAM OF TOOTHBRUSH
Suddenly, you are in a magical fairy land. An electric blue toothbrush dressed like a princess attaches itself to your paw and hyperventilates sweet poetry.

>WAKE UP FAST
You come to. You are sprawled across a chair in the breakfast room. You are the sole occupant of the room, in fact.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>PICK UP CHAIR
You might want to get out of it first.

>GET OUT OF CHAIR, PICK UP CHAIR
You are now holding a large chair.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
A large chair

>WHAT HAPPENED TO THE TOOTHBRUSH?
It turned into a princess, remember?

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>PICK UP ANOTHER CHAIR
Due to your great strength and flexibility, you pick up another chair and balance it on your nose.

>HIT CHAIR WITH CHAIR
Which chair do you mean, the nose chair or the other chair?

>WHO CARES?
Not me.
You bang the chairs together happily, until they splinter to bits and go to the big lumber mill in the sky.

>LEAVE
Leave where/what?

>LEAVE BREAKFAST ROOM
You exit through a random door and find yourself standing on a diving board overlooking a large pool. The pool must be at least twenty tiles deep.
Various swimmers are here.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>IGNORE SWIMMERS
You ignore the swimmers.

>SAVE
Game unsucessfully saved.
Just kidding.

>JUMP IN POOL
You hurl yourself headlong off the diving board, preform three cartwheels in mid air, then hit the pool with a satisfying splash.

>BEAT CHEST
You beat your chest, and begin to sink into the pool. You neglected to take a deep breath first, as well.

>SWIM
There you go! You begin swimming, and have a marvelous time.

>GET OUT
I thought you liked me!

>GET OUT OF POOL
You climb out of the pool, dripping water all over the place.

>EXIT
Exit the game, or the pool room?

>POOL ROOM
You leave the pool room through a door, and find yourself in a great hall. At least, that's what the large neon sign above you claims.

>TAKE LARGE NEON SIGN
It's too high up.

>DOUBLE JUMP, TAKE LARGE NEON SIGN
You grab the sign, but despite your pulling, you merely hang from it instead of pulling it from the wall.

>HANG
As in hang from the sign?

>SAVE
Game saved.
As in hang from the sign?

>YES
Ok.
You continue hanging from the sign, until your mediocre weight finally causes it to come loose from the wall. You both fall rapidly towards the ground, you landing first.
You are dead.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
As in hang from the sign?

>NEVER MIND, JUMP OFF OF SIGN
You land expertly on the floor.

>SAVE GAME, EXIT
Tasks preformed. Bye!




(Edit: Me dumb. Zork, not Zorg)

Great work so far! Love it! I remember the time I tried to play Zork... It wasn't that funny, though.

There was also a program my sister made that was a little like Zork, but funnier. For example, if you try to pick up an item that's not there:

>PICK UP PAINT CAN
it got carried off by the wicked witch.

Que Passa!!!!

Hey! You got your Zork in my Spaz!

Hey! You got your Spaz in my Zork!

Nice story- I love it: Two great flavors that go great together! Tell me though, Spaz isn't going to get eaten by a Grue in any possible future parts of this, is he?/\/\ I always liked text adventure games, and I always will.

P.S.: That whole "Go Hallway" joke is my favorite in ANY of these stories.

I laughed for almost sixteen minutes.

No wait, make that twenty-three.

Or some large number. Whatever.

FUNNYFUNNYFUNNY!

Great job.

Write more of these. Now, if only someone would create "Jazz RPG." ;-P

They might. Maybe de-bas****ize the Jazz from JazzGBA, and put him into his own RPG.

Then again, I hate RPGs. Just de-bas****ize Jazz, and I'll be happy.

ROFTLMHOLOLOLMHOLOLOTF

Rough Translation: I really like it. Can i do a level?

Literal Translation: Rolling On The Floor Laughing My Head Of Lots Of Laughs Oh Laughig My Head Off Laughing Out Loud On The Floor.

`N0

Que Passa!!!!

Now, if only someone would create "Jazz RPG."

Hmmm... I wonder what would happen if Spaz were to see a gazibo? (Old RPG joke.) /\/\

Hahaha, that was a great story. I can't wait for more.

This part contains the first cameo (and should be easy to spot), as well as introducing a certain new resident of the castle..




>RESTORE
Game restored. Welcome back, oh player who has just jumped off of a sign.

>LOOK AT ME
I'd rather not.

>JUST TELL ME WHAT I LOOK LIKE, THEN
You are Spaz.
You are a red rabbit with no clothes on other then a pair of boots you evidently slept with.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
(Nothing)

>LEAVE GREAT HALL
In which direction?

>ANY
You set off towards any.

>GO ANY
My favorite direction.

>GO IN THE DIRECTION OF ANY
Do you mean Any, Amy, or Annie?

>SAVE
Game saved again.

>AMY
You rush through the castle, for such it is that you are inside, your miraculous sense of direction leading you until you crash through the door of Amy's room, waking her up.
Amy is here.

>WHY?
Amy sleeps late.

>LOOK AT AMY
Amy is a fuschia, female rabbit, laying underneath covers so only her head is visible.

>LOOK AT COVERS
The covers have pictures of cookies on them.

>EAT COOKIES
There are no cookies nearby.

>EAT COVERS
You might want to wait until Amy is gone, so as not to disturb her more then you have already.

>MAKE AMY LEAVE
Your brain finds this action rather rude, so it apoligises to Amy for waking her up, then makes you leave instead.

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing in a hallway that seems very familiar. Each wall is lined with doors, in fact, you are standing in front of a broken one.

>WALK THROUGH HALLWAY
In which direction?

>RIGHT
Ok.
You turn to the right and walk off peacefully, humming an unpopular little folk tune.

>WHY?
You have nothing better to do.

>WAIT.
You stand still, though you continue breathing.

>WHO IS AMY?
She's the rabbit you just woke up.

>DO I KNOW HER?
Do you have amnesia?

>NO.
Are you sure?

>YES. WHO IS AMY?
Let me put it this way.. if you pledged your undying love to her forever, saying no force in the universe could destroy it, the worst she'd do is accuse you of exaggerating a bit.

>OH.
Yes.

>SHE COLLECTS SPEECHS?
Suddenly, you fall unconscious again, a direct result of your own stupidity.

>SCREAM
Your scream is muffled by the fact you are unconscious, so it comes out "whp".

>SAY WHP
WHOOPEE!!

>WAKE UP
You come to your senses exactly where you lost them. They don't move around much.

>CONTINUE WALKING THROUGH HALLWAY
Suddenly, you have run out of hallway. You find yourself outside of the castle at last.

>SHOUT FOR JOY
ARRRGGGHHH!!!! *SOB*

>SCREAM, THEN
WHOOPEE!!
Anyone told you you have weird mood shifts?

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing on Carrotus soil. Next to you is a giant carrot, surrounded with tiny carrots, which are surrounded by air. Behind is Carrotus Castle, and a dirt road stretches away to the east.

>PICK UP TINY CARROTS
You grab the tiny carrots and stash them somewhere in your fur.

>WHY?
You told you to.

>WALK EAST
You plod off along the dirt road, determined to forget Amy's indignant look after being woken up.

>SHE GAVE ME ONE?
You plod off along the dirt road, having apparently forgotten already.

>WALK UNTIL SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
You run into two rabbits with a cart full of dangerous looking weapons. They take one look at you and run away.

>WEAR CART
Draw me a picture of how you propose to do that, and I'll let you.

>TAKE CART
You have nowhere to put it.

>EAT CART
Yum! Tastes just like chicken.

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing in the middle of a dirt road from west to east. There is a pile of dangerous looking weapons next to you.

>SAVE
Save gamed.

>PICK UP DANGEROUS LOOKING WEAPON AT RANDOM
You pick up a dangerous looking weapon. It appears to be a sheep.

>EAT SHEEP
You open the passageway to your bottomless pit and toss in the sheep. It instantly explodes. You are, believe it or not, dead.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
I saw that coming.

>PICK UP SHEEP
You are holding a dangerous looking weapon that looks like a sheep.

>PICK UP ANOTHER DANGEROUS LOOKING WEAPON AT RANDOM
You pick up another dangerous looking weapon. It appears to be a gun.

>SHOOT SHEEP WITH GUN
The sheep explodes, the gun explodes, you explode, the pile of dangerous looking weapons explodes.. do you get the picture?
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
Game restored.

>PICK UP SHEEP
You are holding a dangerous looking weapon that looks like a sheep.

>PICK UP GUN
You are holding two dangerous weapons, a gun and a sheep.

>JUGGLE
You throw the dangerous weapons around in the air, showing great style and form, until you get bored.

>TAKE SHEEP AND GUN
You store the two dangerous weapons in your fur somewhere.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun

>KEEP WALKING ALONG PATH UNTIL SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
What path?

>THE DIRT ROAD
After a while, the well worn road ends in front of a building. It is shaped like no 3 dimensional object could possibly exist, and stands atop at least three ceillings.

>ENTER BUILDING
Don't say I didn't warn you!
You are inside the building. After the initial turning of your stomach from being on the inside of the geometric impossibility, you begin to look around. There are rabbits sitting at tables, laying on tables, floating above tables, slumped under tables, or walking around swatting table related rabbits. There's even a bat attached to one of the floors sitting atop the lone wall that goes all the way around the building.

>EAT BAT
It's too high up.

>LOOK AT BAT
It's wearing sunglasses. Beyond that, it looks pretty much like a bat.

>LOOK AT RABBITS
They're rabbits. All colors. All levels of sobriety.

>TALK TO NEAREST SWATTER
A swatting rabbit looks up from her work and extends a paw. "Hi, Spaz! Got away from Eva, then?"

>LOOK BLANK
You maintain your normal expression and say nothing.

>SAVE
Your game is written into my memory.

>IGNORE NEAREST SWATTER
She glares at you, and walks away. Of course, you don't notice, as she is /+ignore.

>IGNORE BUILDING
That's impossible.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!
Suddenly, the bat hanging from a floor stirs. He swoops up.. down.. he swoops in some direction towards you and hovers what you presume is in front of your face. "SPAZ!" the bat cries.

>LOOK AT ME
You are Spaz.
You are a red rabbit with no clothes on other then a pair of boots you evidently slept with.

>BAT, I AM SPAZ.
The bat appears unfazed by this philosphical comment, but starts flying off in the general direction of the bar. "Come on!" he cries, "I'll buy you a drink!"

>DRINK DRINK
He needs to buy you it first.

>BAT, BUY ME DRINK
"Sure!"
The bat exchanges words and a bit of money with someone behind the bar, and a drink appears in front of you.

>DRINK DRINK
You down the whole thing in one gulp, then collapse to the floor unconscious. This is really starting to get old. All is nothingness.

>LOOK AT ME
There is no you.

>INVENTORY
There is no inventory.

>LOOK AT PLOT
There is no plot.

>WAKE UP FAST
It's not safe yet.

>WAKE ME UP WHEN IT'S SAFE
Ok.
A few hours later, the building seems more empty, causing even more of the confusing architecture to be visible. Only a few rabbits are hanging around, and they are mostly unconscious, like you were until recently. The bat is nowhere to be seen.

>LEAVE BUILDING
After several tries, you find the door and stagger out of it.

>LOOK AT DRINK
You drank it already.

>WHAT WAS IT?
You'd be better off not knowing.

>COME ON.
It was pure sulphuric acid.

>FAINT
Haven't you spent enough time unconscious lately?

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
One note

>WHAT HAPPENED TO THE OTHER STUFF?
You apparently got mugged while sleeping.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>READ NOTE
The note reads "Spaz, when you wake up, don't go back to sleep. The stuff you drank would be dangerous in conjunction with repeated unconsciousness."

>DROOL ON NOTE
The note is no longer legible.

>THINK
You seem to have lost that ability some time ago, like about the time you were born.
Still, some people do an awful lot of things without thinking, so you're fine.

>THINK OF AMY
That sounds like something I should be telling you next time you do something foolish.

>GO BACK IN BUILDING
Think of Amy.

>THINK OF AMY
A fuschia face fills your mind, and you stand there enraptured until you notice you are hungry again.

>EAT MIND
Oh, please. If you could do that, you'd have done it long ago.

>EAT DROOL
Delicious AND nutritious!

>GO BACK TO CASTLE
Suddenly, you are in the castle. You are unsure how this happened, except that you have a bump on your head and it seems later in the day then it was earlier in the day.
You are still hungry.

>PICK UP THREE COURSE MEAL
There is none. You appear to be hallucinating.

>SAVE
Game saved.

>RUN AWAY
From what?

>YOU
Quit?

>YES.
Considering you saved, this is no problem. Have a nice time!





And no, I don't know why she's Fuschia, exactly. I was just thinking of various colors and that sprang to mind.
Edit: Oh! Forgot to ask.. what's a grue, exactly?

Que Passa!!!!

It's wearing sunglasses. Beyond that, it looks pretty much like a bat.

>WHO COULD THAT BE?
Who do you think, Stupid?

>LOOK AT ME.
You are Batty Buddy. You are a cartoon bat wearing sunglasses and a backpack.

>OH GOD- DO I FEEL STUPID?
Yes you do.

>THAT WAS A RETORICAL QUESTION.
Well excuse me for living.

>EAT PIE.
I see no pie here.

>EAT DROOL.
That's Spaz's drool- get your own.

>LOOK IN BACKPACK FOR SNACKS.
You are eaten by a grue.
Laugh and quit/Restore

>EAT GRUE.
You can't- your dead!
Laugh and quit/Restore

>LAUGH AND QUIT.
/\/\ Great story.

Que Passa!!!!

"You eat the glue. It gives you stregth. It gives you wisdom.
It gives you heartburn...
You die for being stupid."
-My favorite line from a text game.
Night of the Werewolf.

Oh- by the way: a grue is a large vicious creature from a very popular text game called "Planetfall" in which you had to escape from a plague-ridden planet before you died of the illness, with only the help of a childish-behaving robot named "Floyd"(I have the game, but I keep getting sleepy falling unconcious in areas outside of sleeping quarters, and getting eaten by the afformention creature.). The grue was a monster that lived in the dark areas of the planet. Enter a dark area and the game would say "It's too dark. You could get eaten by a grue." Spend too much time in an area that was filled with darkness and the words "You have been eaten by a grue" would appear. That's as far as they went into describing them.

"Hmmm... That tastes like delicious toxic chemicals.
You died"
-Planetfall

The last two posts were the complete original story.. before I decided to make it longer. So now it is longer. Yeah.




>RESTORE
Your game is restored. And no, the three course meal is still a hallucination.

>RUN AWAY FROM HALLUCINATIONS
You are surrounded by them.

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing in a very familiar hallway. Both walls are lined with doors, and one of the nearby doors is broken, as if someone madly ran through it.

>GET DEJA VU
You are standing in a very familiar hallway. Both walls are lined with doors, and one of the nearby doors is broken, as if someone madly ran through it.

>ENTER DOOR
Which door do you mean? There are lots.

>THE BROKEN ONE
Your memories evidently tell you something, so you peer through the broken door before entering it. There is an empty bed sitting in the room, and some cookie pattern covers are laying on it.

>EAT COVERS
Strangely, the covers do not taste like cookies, but merely like normal covers.

>PICK UP BED
You strain yourself to the utmost before lifting up the empty bed. You then stand there, knowing that if you hold it up much longer it will squash you.

>SAVE
Game resaved.

>HOLD IT UP MUCH LONGER
You are squashed.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
I admire your foresight.

>THROW BED OUT DOOR
You give a wild cry and propell the still empty bed through the door, breaking it further.

>TAKE DOOR
You pick up a few pieces of the door that are laying around and stash them in your fur.

>LEAVE THROUGH DOOR
You are standing in a very familiar hallway. The walls are lined with doors. Behind you is a broken door, and in front lies an empty bed, looking very out of place.

>GET IN BED
You are in the bed.

>GO TO SLEEP
Ignoring the warning of the note you found in your fur, you drift off into slumber.

>KEEP SLEEPING
You need no further urging.

>WAKE UP
You try, but it doesn't seem to work.

>WAIT UNTIL I WAKE UP
Ok.
You blearily open your eyes. You are lying in a bed in the royal hospital, and are attached to lots of tubes and wires and stuff like that.

>WAKE UP
You're not dreaming.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!
Doctor Work hears your scream and rushes over to the bed, holding a needle the size of a baby elephant.. or it may be a trick of perspective.
Work is here.

>WORK, WHY AM I HERE?
"You were found half dead in the hallway of the many doors."

>WORK, WHO AM I?
"You're Spaz, just like you were before."

>WORK, AM I OK YET?
"You should rest here at least two more days before I could even think of letting you go."

>WORK, THAT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG.
"Just go back to sleep. Time passes faster that way."

>SCREAM
"DEATH TO WORK!" you cry madly, leap from the bed, and position yourself in fighting stance.

>SAVE
Game memorized.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
Illegible note
Pieces of broken door
A LOT of wires and stuff

>ATTACK WORK WITH ILLEGIBLE NOTE
You extricate the note from your fur and throw it at Work. It flies for a brief distance then stops flying. It is only paper, after all. Work looks skeptical.

>ATTACK WORK WITH PIECES OF BROKEN DOOR AND WIRES
Cleverly, you rig a slingshot with some door shards and wires, and use it to fire a sharp piece of door at Work. This takes him totally by surprise, and the piece hits him in the head.

>JUMP ON WORK
You fling yourself into the air, and land sideways on Work, who topples over.

>PICK UP WORK
You might want to get off of him first.

>GET OFF OF WORK
You climb off of Work, but before you can do anything else he groggily shoots you with a stun ray. You feel yourself slipping off into unconsciousness.

>HOLD ON TO SOMETHING
You grab onto your awareness, but it's slippery, and you fall down into blackness.

>CONTINUE FALLING
You hit bottom.

>WALK AROUND
You can't walk around, you're unconscious.

>DREAM OF WALKING AROUND
Suddenly, you are in a vast garden, walking around with an electric blue toothbrush dressed as a princess, who is telling you the story of its life.

>WAKE UP FAST
You come to with a jolt. Several days have passed, and you are now lying in a couch of a physchiatrist, who is looking at you over his notepad.

>MAN, WHERE AM I?
"You're in the physchiatricist room, which belongs to me. I'm going to find out what's wrong with you."

>MAN, WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?
"I need to figure it out first. Do you remember your name?"

>LOOK AT ME
You are Spaz.
You are a red rabbit with no clothes on other then a pair of boots you evidently slept with.

>MAN, I AM SPAZ.
"Good! Do you know why you keep falling unconscious lately?"

>MAN, THE NON-CAPSLOCK TEXT MAKES ME DO IT.
He looks at you oddly, then writes something down. "Have you been having dreams while unconscious?"

>MAN, I DREAM OF AN ELECTRIC BLUE TOOTHBRUSH DRESSED AS A PRINCESS.
"Anything else?"

>LEAVE
Leave what?

>LEAVE PHYSCHIATRICIST ROOM
"I have had enough of this!" you cry, get out of the couch, and rush out the door, which fortunately is open.

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing in the great hall, or at least, so the large neon sign above you tells you. Next to you is a glass case full of busts of various famous individuals, with a sign on it.

>TAKE SIGN
You grab the sign, which is just a bit of paper attached to the case with tape, and stick it to your fur.

>LOOK AT ME
You are Spaz.
You are a red rabbit with no clothes on other then a pair of boots you evidently slept with. There is a sign attached to your fur reading "A Head Case", which describes you well.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
Pieces of broken door
A few wires
Two jelly beans
A can of soda
Sign reading "A Head Case"
Desire to find Amy

>WHERE DID ALL THAT COME FROM?
If you mean the jelly beans and the soda, I believe the doctor was experimenting how much could fit in your fur.

>THINK OF AMY
You stand mostly still, dreaming of the fuschia rabbit in question, until you lose your balance and fall over.

>GET UP, FIND AMY
Once more letting your sense of direction guide you, you race madly through the castle until you come to an all too familiar hallway. Doors line the walls, one of which seems to have been newly installed.

>EAT JELLY BEANS
You ravenously devour the helpless candy.

>OPEN DOOR
Which door?

>THE NEW ONE
Softly, you steal up to the newly installed door, turn the doorknob, and discover the door is locked.

>UNLOCK DOOR
You don't have the key.

>GET KEY
Where?

>PICK UP KEY
It's not laying around nearby, you know.

>THROW CAN OF SODA AT DOOR
Crash. Splat.

>FIND KEY
You dash off at 20 tiles a second, letting your sense of direction guide you again. When you stop, you are lying in the middle of a huge pile of keys. The only exit is a door locked from the outside, so you are unclear how you got here.

>PICK UP KEY
Be more specific.

>PICK UP KEY TO NEWLY INSTALLED DOOR
You begin rummaging through the pile, but although all the keys have name tags on them, none read "Newly Installed Door".

>PICK UP KEY TO AMY
Amy's what, her heart or her door?

>DOOR
Just as well, they don't stock the other kind here..
You pick up the key with the nametag reading "Amy", and stash it conspiciously in your fur.

>PICK UP ALL KEYS
You don't have enough fur. However, you pick up the keys for "End of Game" and "Butterfly Chamber" before giving up, and stash them in your fur somewhere.

>OPEN DOOR
Fortunately, the door opens from the inside, so you open the door.

>LEAVE THROUGH DOOR
You walk out of the door, causing the posted guard to be rather confused.
A guard is here.

>GUARD, WHO ARE YOU?
"Why, Itsa Me, Mario!"

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
Pieces of broken door
A few wires
Sign reading "A Head Case"
Key to Amy's Door
Key to End of Game
Key to Butterfly Chamber
Desire to find Amy

>SAVE
You know what happened.

>ATTACK MARIO WITH WIRES
He jumps over your throws, and jumps atop your head, where he begins bouncing. After three bounces, you explode.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
.

>ATTACK MARIO WITH PIECES OF BROKEN DOOR
He deftly grabs each of the pieces, and jumps atop your head, where he begins bouncing. After three bounces, you explode.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
;

>ATTACK MARIO WITH SIGN
Unable to think of anything else to do with it, you attach the sign to Mario, and run off, chuckling madly.

>FIND AMY
Your amazing guidance system takes over, and before long you are back in THE hallway.

>HALLWAY, WHY AM I HERE SO MUCH?
The hallway does not respond.

>IGNORE HALLWAY
You are suddenly standing in nothing. You believe there is probably floor beneath you, but ignore it.

>PAY ATTENTION TO HALLWAY
You are back in the hallway. Do I have to describe it again?

>NO
Thank you.

>FIND NEWLY INSTALLED DOOR
You walk up to it. There is a smashed soda can in front of it, but it is still locked.

>USE KEY TO AMY'S DOOR ON NEWLY INSTALLED DOOR
It quietly opens without a hitch, and you find yourself staring at the bed you remember sleeping on a few days ago. A fuschia form is asleep on it, underneath a new set of covers.
Amy is here.

>WHY?
She's still a late sleeper?

>PICK UP AMY
That sounds like a disquieting way to wake up..

>THINK OF AMY
Your mind is so used to this by now that without much trouble, the fuschia face fills your mind. For some reason, it grows larger, until all you see is fuschia. Evidently, your visualizing skills are improving.
Or maybe it's just that she woke up, and seeing you there, pounced on you.

>FIND OUT WHICH
It's the latter.

>SAVE
Your game has been saved. Scared, are you?

>EXIT
Scared indeed. Bye, have a nice halloween!




*Slaps anyone with gutter type mind*

Que Passa!!!!

*Gets slapped* Hey- I wasn't even USING my gutter-type mind. See: It's on the shelf right where I left it.

I really don't know how many different ways I can say "Great Story! Continue or I shall confine myself to living in a cave and throw rocks at random people.". I just like it! (I liked the Mario cameo.)

Nice.
Contuniue.
I want to see how he wins.

And now.. more Grue-Free text!



>RESTORE
Your game has been restored to where you were last time you saved.

>RECAP
It seems Amy has pounced on you.

>AMY, DID YOU POUNCE ON ME?
"Sure!"

>AMY, WHY ARE YOU FUSCHIA?
"Something to do with color genes.. why?"

>AMY, I AM SPAZ.
She agrees, but shows no signs of letting you up, despite this philosphical comment.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!
Amy jerks backwards in surprise, letting you get up if you choose to do so.

>SAVE
Sucess.

>CHOOSE NOT TO DO SO
You continue laying there, having screamed. Amy looks at you and asks "What's wrong, Spaz?"

>AMY, I HAVE A HEAD.
You probably meant to say headache, but head is more truthful. Amy, however, agrees with the first part of what I just said. "Want some asprin?"

>AMY, I AM ALLERGIC TO ASPRIN.
She looks at you, puzzled. "Ok.... want some toe jam?"

>UGH
I agree, but you might want to respond.

>DANCE WITH AMY
Effectively ignoring her previous question, you leap up, grab Amy, and start whirling around in a not so graceful pirouette. Amy looks at you strangely. "Are you feeling all right, Spaz?"

>YES
Yes what?

>AMY, YES
"Well.. you just seem to take a while to do things, and when you do something, it's rather random."

>AMY, I AM SPAZ.
This time, more of a response is gained, as Amy nods her head, understandingly.

>AMY, I AM SPAZ.
Just because it worked before doesn't mean you should say it right away again.

>STOP DANCING, PICK UP AMY
You whirl to a halt, pick up Amy, and set her on your shoulder. She looks at you, puzzled again, but resolves to enjoy the ride.

>RUN AROUND RANDOMLY
When you come to your senses, you are standing in a strange area you don't recall seeing before. Amy is still atop your shoulder, looking ruffled.

>AMY, I AM LOST.
"Well, that makes two of us.. you mean you just ran through all those passages and rooms without even knowing where you were going?"

>AMY, I AM SPAZ.
She agrees.

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing in front of a large, locked door with a sign above it reading "Butterfly Chamber". On one side of you is a blank wall, and you can't see too well on the other side due to Amy being on your shoulder and blocking your view.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
Pieces of broken door
A few wires
Key to End of Game
Key to Butterfly Chamber
Amy

>USE KEY TO BUTTERFLY CHAMBER ON DOOR
You walk over to the large door and open it with the corresponding key.

>WALK THROUGH DOOR
Task completed.

>AMY, I AM NOT LOST. I AM IN BUTTERFLY CHAMBER.
"As am I, due to still being on your shoulder. Where'd you get that key?"

>AMY, I GOT LOST.
She nods understandingly.

>LOOK AROUND
You are in the Butterfly Chamber. All around you, butterflies fly around, or merely perch on plants. It is very hot.

>TURN INTO BUTTERFLY
Even JJMorph can't do that.

>EAT BUTTERFLIES
You'd just get in trouble.

>LAY DOWN
With Amy on your shoulder?

>PUT DOWN AMY
You gently lift Amy off of your shoulder using only one arm.

>LAY DOWN
You slump to the ground, and lean your head against the wall. The heat is getting to you.
Amy wipes her brow and follows suit, content to lay around and watch the butterflies.

>WATCH BUTTERFLIES
With the alertness of a geiger counter reader, you watch the butterflies fly around, or merely perch on plants.
You feel like you're melting, though of course that is just a trick of the heat.

>SAVE
Your game has been saved again.

>MELT
You turn into a hot puddle. Amy looks over at you and screams. You could care less, of course... you're dead now.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
You are back where you were when you last saved.

>LOOK AROUND
Butterflyness. You are lying next to the door you came in by, which the butterflies seem unable to exit through. Amy is lying next to you, and the chamber extends into the distance in the three directions the wall is not in.

>WALK INTO DISTANCE
You attempt to walk while lying down, but fail.

>WHY?
You're not That flexible..

>BE FLEXIBLE
You preform a series of yoga excersises, while Amy watches you and the butterflies.

Suddenly, the door remains open, and Jazz comes in. You take a while to notice him, seeing as you are doing yoga excersises.

>JAZZ, WHY ARE YOU HERE?
"I came looking for you two! Don't you remember what today is?"

>JAZZ, IS IT FRIDAY?
".." Jazz pauses, and counts on his ears efficently. "..yes. But that's not what I meant."

>JAZZ, WHAT DID YOU MEAN?
"It's the anniversary of the last time we defeated Devan! We're having a banquet in the banquet room once you are found!"

>JAZZ, I AM FOUND.
"Well, yes, but you have to go there as well."

>JAZZ, I AM SPAZ.
He looks at you oddly, as if stunned by this knowledge.

>GO THERE.
There where?

>GO TO THE BANQUET ROOM
You zoom off at high speeds, letting your subconscious tell you where to turn and where to jump over spikes, until you arrive in the banquet room.
Eva is here.
Lori is here.
Work is here.
Mario is here.
Other inhabitants are here.

>LOOK AT MARIO
Mario is a fat italian plumber dressed in red, with a sign reading "A Head Case" attached to him.

>WEAR MARIO
You fail.

>EVA, I AM SPAZ.
She looks up, and slaps you. "There you are! You've kept everyone waiting. Where's Jazz?"

>EVA, I LEFT HIM IN THE BUTTERFLY CHAMBER WITH AMY.
"Well, he'll be along. Sit down, and stay put."

>SIT DOWN, AND STAY PUT.
You sit down on the floor and start sucking your thumb again.

>GET UP, SIT IN CHAIR
Which chair?

>MY CHAIR
You get up, and sit in your chair contentedly. A bit later, Jazz and Amy arrive. They don't have your magical sense of direction, and were forced to find a map.

>EAT BANQUET
It hasn't been served yet.

>LORI, SERVE BANQUET
Lori glares at you. "Who do you think I am, a servant?"

>LORI, I AM SPAZ.
This phrase hasn't been getting as much sucess as of late. Lori thinks about it for a second, then tells you to go and serve the banquet.

>GET OUT OF CHAIR, FIND BANQUET
You arrive in the kitchens shortly afterwards.
Head Cook Dingo is here.

>HEAD COOK DINGO, WHERE IS BANQUET?
"All around you, Spaz!"

>LOOK AROUND
You are in the kitchens. Head Cook Dingo is stirring a pot of what looks suspiciously like the drink the bat bought you, you are standing in front of an open door. On the other side of the kitchen is another door with a sign above it reading "End of Game".

>SHOUT WITH JOY
ARRRRRGGHH!!!! *SOB*

>RUN TO DOOR
You run over to the door.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
Pieces of broken door
A few wires

>WHERE'S MY KEY TO END OF GAME?!
You appear to have dropped it somewhere.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>WHY DIDN'T I DROP THE OTHER STUFF?
You didn't tell you to.

>DROP OTHER STUFF
What other stuff?

>DROP PIECES OF BROKEN DOOR AND WIRES
You drop them dejectedly on the floor.
You have suddenly noticed (maybe it's the smells) that you are very hungry.

>SEARCH ROOM
After searching the room, you find a large banquet hidden away in one of the corners.

>TAKE BANQUET
You store the large banquet in your fur somewhere.

>LEAVE KITCHEN, SERVE BANQUET
Amazingly, you do this sucessfully, and without a hitch as well.

>EAT BANQUET
The whole thing, or just yours?

>SAVE
Game saved.

>THE WHOLE THING
You jump onto the table, and start grabbing people's food and wolfing it down before they have a chance to react. Soon, though, you overgorge yourself, and your stomach explodes.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
Game restarted. I mean, restored.

>JUST MINE
You jump onto the table, lay down in front of your portion of the banquet and begin stuffing yourself.

>CONINUE STUFFING MYSELF
You do so.

>CONTINUE CONTINUING STUFFING MYSELF
You do so. Soon, your stomach has the feeling you should stop eating.

>STOP EATING
Thank your stomach for that bit of information.

>THANK YOU, STOMACH
The stomach burps.
You are now feeling a little drowsy.

>GO TO SLEEP
Following the path of least resistance, you lay your head down in a bowl of soup and drift away into slumberland.

>NEMO, I AM SPAZ.
There is no Nemo here.

>DREAM OF NEMO
Suddenly, you are standing in slumberland. Nearby is Nemo, dressed as an electric blue toothbrush.

>SCREAM
Oh! Oh! I'm ever so aggravated.
Nemo looks at you and vanishes. He apparently has woken up.

>WOKE UP
Your grammar is awful.
Nevertheless, you come to, still with your head in the (thankfully not hot) soup bowl. You have not slept as long as you could have, as the other rabbits are still eating the banquet.

>EAT MORE BANQUET
Yours?

>YES
As if nothing had happened, you return to digging into the banquet, ignoring looks the other rabbits are giving you.

>CONTINUE DIGGING INTO THE BANQUET
You have no shovel.

>EAT MORE BANQUET
You do so. Your stomach starts to complain again.

>STOP EATING, LEAVE TABLE
You leap off the table.

>BOW
To who?

>ANYONE WATCHING
You bow towards the person on the other side of the monitor.

>LEAVE BANQUET ROOM, FIND HALLWAY
By this time, you have imprinted the location of said hallway quite firmly in your mind, and are soon there.

>FIND DOOR I STARTED BY
At the start of the game?

>YES
You walk up to a door.

>USE WIRES ON DOOR
You dropped the wires in the kitchen, remember?

>USE BANQUET ON DOOR
You served the banquet.

>TAKE DOOR
Despite your best efforts, it is too well attached to the hinges.

>OPEN DOOR
The door smoothly opens, being unlocked.

>BE SUSPICIOUS
Been.

>SAVE
Saved.

>EXIT
Exited.



Dingo is not a reference to anything. We also passed what was going to be another end in this.

Que Passa!!!!

(Nemo's mother walks in and finds Nemo, once again, in a big wad of blankets on the floor.)
Nemo's Mom: This again? Why can't you ever have a normal good nights sleep?
Nemo: (Curls up into fetal position and starts sucking his thumb.) The horror... The horror...
/\/\

Name the city where Spaz goes and win a No-Prize.


>RESTORE
Your game has been sucessfully restored.
(0) errors occured while restoring it.

>GO INTO ROOM ON OTHER SIDE
Gone.
You are standing in the middle of a large bedroom. A doorway goes through one of the walls, and a still torn matress lays on the floor next to you. An empty bed can also be found in an examination of the room, as well as a bookcase which seems newly installed.

>PICK UP NEWLY INSTALLED BOOKCASE
You fail.

>LOOK AT NEWLY INSTALLED BOOKCASE
The top shelf consists mainly of books, the middle shelf contains a bunch of random objects, the bottom shelf is empty, and there are no shelves below the bottom shelf, strangely enough.

>LOOK AT BOOKS
They are called "The Cold Return", "101 ways to jump high for those who can't", "Study in Maroon", "Toejam Tales" and "The Wizard of Oz".

>READ WIZARD OF OZ
Wrong story. Forget I even mentioned that one.

>READ TOEJAM TALES
That sounds like something Spaz would do.

>NON-CAPSLOCK TEXT, I AM SPAZ.
Call me Parser. Anyway, you made your point.
You settle down on top of the torn mattress, and read "Toejam Tales". It is a series of stories about how the anicent spirts of Toejam save the lives of many innocents and finally have the showdown with the forces of asprin.

>PUT BACK TOEJAM TALES
You put back Toejam tales, which flutters its pages at you in annoyance.

>EAT TOEJAM
There is none. Besides, you're still full from the banquet.

>STUDY IN MAROON
You have nothing to study, let alone a method of coloring yourself.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>LOOK AT RANDOM OBJECTS
They seem to be five tiny carrots, a dangerous sheep, a dangerous gun, and a key with the nametag "End of Game".

>THANK FROGS
The frogs smile happily.

>EAT FROGS
There are none.

>TAKE ALL
Books: Taken
Carrots: Taken
Sheep: Taken
Gun: Taken
Key: Taken
No contents of bottom shelf: Taken

>PUT BACK BOOKS
You put the books back on the top shelf, which is where they came from.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following objects:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
No contents
No hunger

>GIVE NO CONTENTS TO FROGS
There are no frogs, there is only Zuu-..Spaz.

>GIVE NO CONTENTS TO ZUU-..SPAZ
You already had them.

>LEAVE ROOM, FIND KITCHENS
You are now in the kitchens. Head Cook Dingo has left, the pot of stuff has left.. in fact, pretty much everything left, not counting the cupboards and stuff.

>USE KEY TO END OF GAME ON DOOR
The door left, too. You should try to find it again.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>WHO AM I?
You are Spaz. Your favorite color is Imaginary. Your quest is to find the End of the Game.

>I THOUGHT AS MUCH.
Why?

>WHY?
Because you thought as much.

>FIND END OF GAME
If it was that easy, it wouldn't be your quest.

>CHANGE UNIVERSES
Are you sure?

>SAVE
Game saved.

>YES
Yes, what?

>YES, I AM SURE
Are you REALLY sure?

>YES, I AM REALLY SURE
Don't say I didn't ask you!
There is a pop, a whoosh of lack of air, and you find yourself standing somewhere in another universe.

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing in the middle of a green landscape, but it is not Carrotus, Diamondus, or any world you know. Everything seems even more cartoony then usual, somehow, and very little moves.

>LOOK AT ME
You are Spaz.. I think. You are a cartoon rabbit in red, with little boots on all four paws.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
No contents
No hunger

>DROP NO CONTENTS
Ok, you don't drop any contents.

>SCREAM
You make a small rabbit noise.

>WALK EAST
You hop along east. The countryside changes as you move along.

>HOP EAST UNTIL SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
You're really stingy with your time.
Suddenly, you come to a large pool. There is a sign next to it, and you notice you can still read in this universe.

>READ SIGN
It reads "Spring of drowned human"

>LOOK AT SPRING OF DROWNED HUMAN
It looks like a spring. A very safe one, in fact.

>SWIM
Forgetting that the type of rabbit you seem to be now can not swim, you leap into the pool, boots and all. Suddenly, your body feels different.

>IGNORE BODY, SWIM
You swim around, having a wonderful time.
Something you are ignoring feels different.

>SWIM UNTIL BORED
I'm bored, though I don't know about you.

>GET OUT OF SPRING
You climb out of the spring, and it is now you notice why your body felt different. You have turned into a cartoon human!

>SCREAM
AGGGHH!!!!!

>LOOK AT ME
You are a naked cartoon human wearing a boot on each hand and foot. You also have a collection of odd items peacefully laying around in your very red hair.

>SCREAM
AGGGHH!!!!!

>RUN AWAY FROM SPRING
You run away from the spring, not caring which direction you go, as long as it takes you away from that scary place.

>RUN UNTIL SOMETHING ELSE INTERESTING HAPPENS
You run and run and run. Eventually, you come to what appears to be more of a city, but this is not interesting enough, so you do not stop running. You pass a black pig with a yellow bandana on. You only stop, in fact, when you run into a cartoon female human with eyes even bigger then yours when you were a normal rabbit.

>APOLGIZE
You say you're sorry, but she obviously does not understand. She then notices your lack of clothing, shouts a word in some other language, and whacks you with a mallet that appeared out of nowhere. You go flying into orbit.
You are running out of air.

>CHANGE BACK TO OLD UNIVERSE
Are you sure?

>YES. HURRY UP.
Are you really sure?

>YES!
Ok.
Suddenly, you find yourself back in the room you awoke in at the start of this whole thing.

>LOOK AT ME
You are Spaz.
You are a red rabbit with no clothes on other then a pair of boots you evidently slept with.

>THANK FROGS AGAIN
They smile widely.

>GIVE FROGS NO HUNGER
There still aren't any frogs.

>EAT NO HUNGER
You aren't hungry.

>GO TO BANQUET ROOM
You do that. When you consider your earlier inability to even walk a hallway, you have been greatly improving your endurance.
Lori is here.
Eva is here.
Jazz is here.
Work is here.
Mario is here.
Amy is here.
Various other rabbits who are listening to Jazz's speech are here.

>LISTEN TO JAZZ'S SPEECH
You join the rabbits and listen intently while he drones on and on.

>THROW ROTTEN TOMATO AT JAZZ
You see no rotten tomato.

>JAZZ, BOO
You boo him, but the crowd hushes you and he continues talking.

>CROWD, WHERE IS END OF GAME?
You get hushed again.

>FIND LORI
After pushing a lot of other rabbits, much to their annoyance, you come upon Lori, who looks rather bored.

>LORI, WHERE IS END OF GAME?
She looks at you, blinks, and says "At a small door somewhere in the third city level."

>THANK LORI
"You're welcome."

>FIND SMALL DOOR SOMEWHERE IN THE THIRD CITY LEVEL
That would be cheating.

>JJNXT
That would Really be cheating.
Jazz's speech winds to a close, and Eva calls for you to give your speech as Jazz steps down from the platform he was standing on.

>STAND ON PLATFORM
You stride majestically through the parting crowd and stand on the platform.

>GIVE SPEECH
You're not getting through this that easily.

>GET THROUGH IT EASILY
Just give them a speech, ok?

>CROWD, I AM SPAZ.
Some of them cheer.

>CROWD, CHEER FOR ME.
To get it over with, they cheer loudly.

>TAKE CHEERS
You deftly grab their cheers and store them somewhere in your fur.

>CLEAR THROAT
You turn your throat transparent.

>SAVE
Good thinking. Saved.

>CROWD, I AM JAZZ'S BROTHER AND I LET HIM OUT OF JAIL WHEN THE QUEEN THREW HIM IN THERE AND I GOT NO CREDIT FOR IT WHATSOEVER.
Jazz turns the same color as you.

>CROWD, JAZZ WAS RUNNING AROUND AND HE MET A GIANT TURTLE, AND I SAVED HIM FROM IT, AND I GOT NO CREDIT FOR IT WHATSOEVER.
Jazz whistles. The crowd applauds.

>CROWD, DEVAN'S TIME MACHINE BLEW UP AND EVA'S GEM WENT FLYING, AND I CAUGHT IT SO IT DIDN'T GET SCRATCHED. AND I GOT NO CREDIT FOR IT WHATSOEVER.
Jazz can take no more of this. He marches back to the platform and grabs the mike before you continue.

>TAKE BACK MIKE
There is no Back Mike here.

>TAKE MIKE FROM JAZZ
You grab it back, and so ensues a tug of war, each of you giving cheesy fake smiles to the crowd most of the time. You drop the cheers in the process.

>EAT MIKE
There you go! You quickly swallow the mike and burp.

>GIVE NO HUNGER TO JAZZ
Ok, you don't make Jazz hungry.
Jazz stares at you.

>LEAVE BANQUET ROOM
You serenely leave the banquet room, having delivered your message to the adoring masses. Behind you, Lori takes the platform, and tries to calm everyone down.

>LAUGH
You chuckle insanely.

>SAVE
Saved.

>EXIT
Ok.




Coming up next - Grues! But not how you'd expect..
Edit: Nitpickers..

Hmmm... You forgot to save and quit!



24 hours later...

>PARSER, WHAT HAPPENED?
A power shortage.

>PARSER, WHERE AM I?
Inside a matress. Your eyes are closed.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying:

>SCREAM
Whoopee!!!

Y'know, I almost think that this would be repeatedly embarrassing.

But then I remember that this is Spaz we're talking about. It's physically impossible for him to do something which HE thinks is stupid... unless everyone else thinks it's intelligent... or... something...

Das-blammit... I'm tired... my sense of humor and wit has already gone to sleep... I think I'l l go to sleep now too... *snarf*

~_~.zzZ 4I Falcon is currently offline.

Que Passa!!!!

I know which city Spaz went to...

(Batty suddenly end up behind a Game show booth. His score on the board is -13. Jeopardy music starts playing.)
...Hmm... Wait, I know this one- I know this one.... BLUE!!!!
(The "You're wrong" buzzer sound goes off.)
...Aw, darnit...

>SHOOT SELF
You are now dead. Quit/Restore?

>SHOOT YOU
Quit/Resto... hey! That's not nice!

>SO?
You shot me! I'm telling!

>HOO DEAR...
...

>BECOME L33T
You are currently dead. Quit/Restore?

>WE JUST WENT THROUGH THIS.
I realize that. It ended up with me getting shot.

>YOU'RE PUSHING MY PATIENCE.
Am I going to get shot again?

>YES.
>Run away

>...

Note: The words under ">YES." are supposedly said by the game, not you (hence the uncapitalized text). It's supposed to be doing an action, such as... well... running away.

Blarg.

btw, UR, if you ment the guy from CSI (Crime Scene Investigation, not Counter-Strike Island, silly!)... that's Worrek, not Work. Nice try though.

No, I did not mean Worrek, whoever he is, whatever CSI (Counter-Strike Island?) is. Not meaning to sound offensive. Work comes from my saying weird noises and not noticing it was also a word until I read it back.
WARNING: THE FOLLOWING STORY PART CONTAINS GRUES. READ AT SOMEONE ELSE'S RISK.



>RESTORE
Restored. You just laughed, my perfect memory tells me.

>GO TO THE HALLWAY
You know, and I know, that I should say something funny that tells you you got there, but I don't feel like it.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
No contents
No hunger
Knowledge of where End of Game is

>USE KNOWLEDGE
It's at the small door somewhere in the third city level.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>LEAVE CASTLE THROUGH HALLWAY
You are now back outside. As you may recall, there is a dirt road leading east, a castle behind you, and a giant carrot sitting around unconspiciously.

>WHY?
It's immobile.

>WALK ALONG DIRT ROAD UNTIL SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
There's the building again.

>IGNORE BUILDING
I maintain this is impossible.

>WALK ALONG DIRT ROAD UNTIL SOMETHING *ELSE* INTERESTING HAPPENS
The dirt road stops in front of the building.

>LOOK AT BUILDING
Are you mad?

>PARSER, I AM SPAZ.
Ok.
You stare at the building intently, and find that part of the wall, which probably isn't even in the same dimension as you, works as a magic picture. You cross your eyes slightly, and begin to see 3D images of the building flying through space. You jump back, startled, and smash into someone.

>APOLIGIZE PROFUSELY
You help the someone up, saying you're sorry. The duck glares at you.

>LOOK AT DUCK
The whiskered duck is standing up. He is wearing a tophat, coat, glasses and spats, and is carrying a cane.

>TAKE CANE
You reach for the cane but he whacks your paw with it and runs off, muttering something about how you can't trust anyone under 50.

>BECOME OVER 50
If you keep dilly-dallying like this, you will.

>KEEP DILLY-DALLYING
No. It bores me.

>GO IN BUILDING
Think of Amy.

>DIDN'T WE DO THIS BEFORE?
You're right.

>WELL?
Well what?

>GO IN BUILDING
Think of Amy.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>WALK EAST
You walk east. With every step you take, you move further, and you find this reassuring.

>WALK EAST
You walk east. With every step you take, you move further, and you find this reassuring.

>WALK EAST UNTIL SOMETHING INTERESTING HAPPENS
You're so hard to please.
You walk east. Suddenly, with every step you take, you move backwards, and you find this disillusioning.

>HEY!
You wanted something interesting.

>WALK BACKWARDS
Phooey.
You walk backwards east. With every step you take, you move further, and you find this reassuring.

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing on top of Carrotus. There, for some reason, are lots of carrots nearby. There is also a coatrack nearby, complete with small house.

>LOOK AT COATRACK
It has a coat on it. The coat has a tag saying "105% real rabbit fur"

>BE OFFENSIVE
You take the coat and put it on.

>LOOK AT HOUSE
The house looks back.

>BLINK
The house blinks back. Or at least, you think it did. Hard to tell with your eyes closed. So you open them again.

>GO TO FRONT DOOR
You leisurely walk up to the door and bid it open.

>WAIT
Nothing happens.

>WAIT MORE
There isn't a turn-based thing in front of the front door, just to let you know.

>OPEN DOOR
You grasp the doorknob firmly, and are about to spin it around when you remember it would be more polite to knock.

>BE POLITE
You knock on the door.

>BE OFFENSIVE
You admire the coat.
The door opens, and you stare at a Grue.

>SAVE
Your game has been saved.

>EAT GRUE
You leap on the grue, which eats you.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
Your game has been restored.

>LOOK AT GRUE
Oh, no you don't. I'm not telling you what they look like.

>GRUE, I AM SPAZ.
The grue makes a slimy noise that sounds like "Are you the babysitter?"

>UGH.
Yes, well..

>GRUE, I AM NOT THE BABYSITTER.
You have been eaten by a Grue.
Quit/restore?

>RESTORE
Your game has been restored.

>GRUE, I AM THE BABYSITTER.
The grue beams at you. It and the resident Grue Wife hurry out the door, pressing a note into your paw.

>READ NOTE
It tells you what number to call in case of an emergency.

>TAKE NOTE
You store the note in your fur.

>GO IN HOUSE
You walk into the house.
You are in the living room. Two baby Grues are crawling around on the floor, there is a picture of "Uncle Grueman" over the fireplace, two doors lead off into other rooms to the west and north, and the floor has lots of Grue Toys on it.
Baby Grue #1 is here.
Baby Grue #2 is here.

>SAVE
Game again saved.

>PICK UP GRUE TOY
You have been eaten by an indignant Grue.
Quit/restore?

>SIGH. RESTORE.
Game again restored.

>BABYSIT GRUES
Not enough detail.

>PLAY GAME WITH GRUES
Which one?

>FETCH
You tell the Grues how to play fetch. What do you want to throw?

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
Rabbit fur coat
Note
No contents
No hunger
Knowledge of where End of Game is

>THROW SHEEP
You throw the dangerous sheep through one of the doors. Baby Grue #1 runs after it and eats it.

>PLUG EARS
The sheep explodes inside Baby Grue #1, who doesn't seem to notice.

>THROW GUN
You throw the dangerous gun through the other door. Baby Grue #2 runs after it, picks it up, and shoots you. You have been shot by a Grue.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
Restored. You have just entered the Grue home. Incidentally, you might not want to play fetch with them.

>PLAY GAME WITH GRUES
Which one?

>CATCH
You tell the grues how to play catch. What do you want to throw?

>THROW NO CONTENTS
You throw no contents. Baby Grue #2 catches no contents, and throws no contents to you.

>CATCH NO CONTENTS
Caught.

>TAKE NO CONTENTS
You stash no contents in your fur.

>THIS IS BORING
You'd better do something exciting, then, if you're going to babysit the two Grues all the time the parents are gone.

>PLAY DIFFERENT GAME WITH GRUES
Which one?

>SHARE.
You teach the Grue babies how to share. What do you want to give them?

>SAVE
Game saved.

>SHARE DANGEROUS SHEEP
You share the dangerous sheep with the Grue babies. It appears they don't like it, so they eat you.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
Of course..

>SHARE DANGEROUS GUN
You share the dangerous gun with the Grue babies. It appears they don't like it, so they eat you.
Quit/Restore?

>RESTORE
I guessed.

>INVENTORY
What, again?
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
Note
Rabbit fur coat
No contents
No hunger
Knowledge of where End of Game is

>SHARE NO HUNGER
You share no hunger with the Grue babies. They don't like it, but they can't eat you, being not hungry.
Now it's the Grue babies' turn to share something. They give you no brain.

>TAKE NO BRAIN
Ok, you don't take a brain.

>THANK GRUE BABIES
They try to eat you, but they're not hungry.
Suddenly, there is a knocking at the door.

>OPEN DOOR
You walk over to the door, and open it. On the other side stands a Grue, though not one you know.

>GRUE, WHO ARE YOU, MAN?
It glares at you. "I'm the babysitter. Who are You?"

>GRUE, I AM SPAZ.
The Grue stares. "THE Spaz? The Spaz wanted to be eaten in 51 states?"

>GRUE, NO.
"Oh." However, the Grue still looks rather hungry, and you begin to fear for your life.

>GIVE NO HUNGER TO GRUE
You force no hunger down the Grue's throat. It is now incapable of eating you. Good job.

>GRUE, YOUR SERVICES ARE NO LONGER NEEDED.
It walks away in a huff. You turn back to the Grue babies.
It's your turn to share something.

>TELL THEM A STORY
Which one?

>TOEJAM TALES
Good choice!
You sit down with the Grue babies, now safe as they have no hunger. You begin reciting the whole of Toejam Tales, which you apparently memorized without noticing.
When you are done, they give you a red key.

>TAKE RED KEY
You stash the red key in your fur somewhere.
About then, the Grue Parents get back. The time really flew, didn't it?

>GRUE PARENTS, HI.
They thank you and hand you 50 Carrotian Credits.

>TAKE 50 CARROTIAN CREDITS
Taken. They look oddly at you when you manage to stash all 50 of them in your fur.

>THANK GRUE PARENTS
You thank them and walk out the door.
Having given away your no hunger, you're feeling rather peckish.

>I HAD NO IDEA HOW USEFUL NO HUNGER WAS.
Well, now you do!

>SAVE
Game saved.

>EXIT
Game exited.

>I AM STILL HERE
No you're not.




That was probably the last daily installment, as the posts have now caught up with how much I have actually written, so until I write more, there won't be more. Sowwy.
Edit: mghjnatxblfu.

>SAVE
Game saved.

Phew! That could have been disastrous!

Que Passa!!!

Aw man... ah well...

The grues were cool, and so was Spaz meeting up with Scrooge McDuck... assuming that WAS Scrooge McDuck...

(sings... badly)
I want gruu-uue to be my playmate
I want gruu-uue to be my freind
I'd let him dooo whatever he wants wants to
Specially if he's bigger then meeeee...

great story, keep it up!

I kind of think you should have done:

>GRUE PARENTS, HI.
They thank you and hand you 50 Carrotian Credits.

>SAVE
You sure have been saving a lot, haven't you? Game saved.

>EAT 50 CARROTIAN CREDITS
You snatch up the credits, and stuff them eagerly down your throat. One gets stuck in your windpipe. You suffocate.
Quit/Restore

I kinda wonder what would happen if you said ">TAKE GRUE".

Sorry about the delay..


>RESTORE
Your game is restored. I thought I'd never see you again, but that doesn't make me treat you differently.

>WHY?
I'm mean.

>FIND SOMETHING TO DO
It's all over the place.

>WHY?
So you don't get bored.

>I'M BORED.
You're also rather peckish.

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing on top of Carrotus. There, for some reason, are lots of carrots nearby. There is also a coatrack nearby, complete with small house.

>WALK EAST
Do you have an obsession with east? You walk east.

>WALK EAST
You walk east.

>WALK NORTH
You walk north.

>WALK WEST
You walk west.

>WALK WEST
You walk west.

>WALK SOUTH
You walk south.
You are standing on top of Carrotus. There, for some reason, are lots of carrots nearby. There is also a coatrack nearby, complete with small house.

>I WALK IN EQUAL AMOUNTS OF DISTANCE?
Apparently.

>TAKE COATRACK
It won't fit in your fur.

>WALK EAST FIVE TIMES
You walk east.
You walk east.
You walk east.
You walk east.
You walk east.

>LOOK AROUND
You are in the fabled area of Carrotus known as "A part of Carrotus that is fabled". It is said that whoever lives here is alive until they die.

>SIGH
You sigh heavily. The weight of your sigh causes the ground to cave in beneath you, and you begin falling.

>SAVE
Your game is saved. Next time you restore, unless you've saved between then and now, you'll get to be falling again.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Dangerous Sheep
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
Note
Rabbit fur coat
No contents
No Coatrack
Red Key
50 Carrotian Credits
Knowledge of where End of Game is

>MAKE PARACHUTE
Out of what?

>CARROTS
This sentence no verb.

>MAKE PARACHUTE OUT OF CARROTS
You fail.
You continue falling. You are beginning to feel sick.

>MAKE PARACHUTE OUT OF RABBIT FUR COAT
You slip yourself out of the coat and hold it above you like a parachute. Miraculously, it works, and you fall slowly.

>FALL SLOWLY
You continue to fall slowly.

>LOOK DOWN
You look down. It is not a pretty sight.

>TELL ME WHAT IS DOWN THERE
A pit of spikes.

>FIGURES
Yes.

>FALL UNTIL DIRECTLY ABOVE SPIKES
You drift downwards like a drifting leaf, until without warning, you find yourself directly above the spikes.

>ESCAPE MIRACULOUSLY
Have I mentioned you're often rather vauge about your commands?

>USE DANGEROUS GUN ON SPIKES
You hurridly retrieve the dangerous gun and fire it at the spikes. The spikes explode, and the trapped spirits of dead hedgehogs fly up into the air.

>GRAB DEAD SPIRIT
You reach out your paw and grab a dead spirit of a hedgehog before it can fly away.

>DEAD SPIRIT, HOW CAN I FLY?
"Just get yourself killed!"

>DEAD SPIRIT, HOW ELSE CAN I FLY?
"Well, you could find an airboard.."

>DEAD SPIRIT, GIVE ME AN AIRBOARD
"I don't have an airboard."

>LET GO OF DEAD SPIRIT
It hurridly flies away to join the other ones.

>THANK DEAD SPIRIT
Oh, it's a little late now, isn't it?

>USE DANGEROUS SHEEP
Use it how?

>LOOK DANGEROUS SHEEP
I look at the dangerous sheep.

>MAKE *ME* LOOK AT THE DANGEROUS SHEEP
Ok, ok.
It looks like a sheep that isn't moving. A large red button is on one side, with text below it reading "Press this button to turn this sheep into an airboard."

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>PRESS BUTTON
You press the red button, and the sheep turns into an airboard.

>FIND AIRBOARD
You already did that.

>FIND INNER PEACE
Oh, right.

>FIND PLOT
Impossible task.

>LOOK AROUND
Taking a last look before you fly away into the wild blue yonder?
You are in a small cave. The only apparent exit is a large hole in the ceilling, which goes up and up, and emits a faint light. There are some shards of deceased spikes laying around on the ground, and a secret doorway is in one wall but you didn't hear it from me.

>FIND DOORWAY
What doorway?

>THE SECRET ONE.
You look around and find a secret doorway. Funny. How did that get there?

>WHACK PARSER
Ow.

>GO SECRET DOORWAY
It thanks you modestly.

>GO THROUGH SECRET DOORWAY
There's a secret door in it.

>OPEN SECRET DOOR
It's locked.

>USE RED KEY ON SECRET DOOR
This isn't one of those games where you find the gem that powers a time machine five planets away. Things have to be semi-believable.
That said, the red key does not open the secret doorway.

>EAT SECRET DOOR
Your teeth make short work of the secret doorway, which was composed of a few tons of granite.
Nevertheless, you are still peckish.

>BE CONSISTANT
You think of Amy.

>GO THROUGH SECRET DOORWAY
You walk through the secret doorway. You find yourself in a tiny, mostly empty cell with a rabbit and a sign in it.
CelL is here.

>READ SIGN
It reads "Welcome to CelL's cell".

>CELL, I AM SPAZ
"Hello Spaz!" Have you come to free me from this cell?"

>CELL, YOU ARE CELL.
CelL looks confused. The cell doesn't do anything.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!
CelL jumps backwards. "Uhhhh.. you know, maybe you shouldn't rescue me at all. I'm perfectly safe here."

>CELL, WHERE IS END OF GAME?
"Just defeat the Lagunicus boss."

>DEFEAT LAGUNICUS BOSS
It's not that easy.

>THANK CELL
You thank CelL and leave CelL's cell.

>WEAR AIRBOARD
You attach the airboard to your head as a sort of hat.

>GET ON AIRBOARD
You find yourself unable to stand on something that is on your head.

>TAKE OFF AIRBOARD, GET ON AIRBOARD
You stand on the airboard. Automatically, little things hold your feet in place so you don't fall off, and it begins hovering off of the ground a bit, as if eager to depart.

>FLY THROUGH HOLE IN CEILLING
You fly up out of the hole. After a while of flying, you come out at the top.

>LAND SOMEWHERE SAFE, GET OFF OF AIRBOARD.
You do as you instructed.

>TAKE AIRBOARD
You store the airboard in your fur. It beeps.

>BEEP
(/)(-)(\)

>LOOK AROUND
You are standing in an ordinary part of Carrotus, which is apparently a safe place to land. A well traveled road goes off into south-southeast.

>WALK SOUTH-SOUTHEAST
You walk along the road until something interesting happens, as you'd say that anyway. Soon, you come to a small village, with rabbits walking around, probably returning from work.
Your stomach rumbles rudely.

>FIND FOOD
You walk through the village until you come to a medium-sized restaurant called Joes.

>EAT AT JOES
Please wait to be seated. Oh, and you might want to go in first.

>GO IN JOES
You walk into Joes. Soon, a rabbit wearing a tuxedo, which is really an interesting sight in itself, leads you to a small table for one, complete with complimentary menu.

>READ MENU
Green Salad: 30 CC
Greener Salad: 37 CC
Chicken: 27 CC
Vegetarian Chicken with Salad: 50 CC
Carrot Stew: 18 CC
Jugged Hare: 1 CC

Carrot Cake: 6 CC

Water: 1 CC
Beer: 23 CC
Carrot Juice: 10 CC

>BUY VEGETARIAN
Soon, a salad arrives, complete with what is obviously supposed to be a vegetarian chicken. It resembles a yellow brick.
Your stomach rumbles ominously.

>EAT SALAD
You ravenously gobble up the salad.

>EAT BRICK
You try to force down the vegetarian chicken, but you are morally opposed to the whole idea and don't manage it.
The waiter comes by with the bill for 50 Carrotian Credits.

>USE 50 CARROTIAN CREDITS ON BILL
The waiter glares at you for the lack of tip and walks away, sullenly. He accidentally knocks a flower pot onto your head.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Airboard
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
Note
Rabbit fur parachute
No contents
No Coatrack
Red Key
Knowledge of where End of Game is

>GIVE NOTE TO WAITER
He reads the note and hurries over to the telephone. He evidently thinks you are an escaped convict.

>LOOK AT ME
You are Spaz.
You are a red rabbit with no clothes on other then a pair of boots you evidently slept with.

>LEAVE RESTAURANT
You leave the restaurant, cheerfully nodding to all onlookers, who quickly return to their food.

>GO HOME
You rush through the fields and stuff of Carrotus, guided by nothing but your internal guidance system, until you careen to a stop that puts the brakes they sell in cars nowadays to shame.
You are in *the* hallway.

>SCREAM
WHOOPEE!!

>CHECK WATCH
You don't have a watch.

>HAVE WATCH
Thank you. I'll treasure it always.

>FIND AMY'S DOOR
Amazingly, it is attached to the doorway leading into Amy's room.

>WHY?
It got repaired since the last time it was broken.

>OPEN DOOR
It is unlocked. Still, you consider being polite.

>KNOCK ON DOOR
Politely or loudly?

>KNOCK ON DOOR POLITELY
After a few seconds, a voice says "Come in."

>COME IN
Your grammar needs work, but I know what you mean.
You enter Amy's room, which looks different from the last few times you've been in it. A largish desk appears to have folded out of the wall, strewn neatly with papers, and Amy is sitting in front of it.

>AMY, HELLO
She looks around and smiles. "Oh, good. You've been acting.. well.. more strangely then usual the last few days, but at least you didn't forget this."

>SEARCH MEMORY
You don't find anything.

>AMY, I LOST MY MEMORY
She misunderstands you. "Amnesia?"

>TAKE AMNESIA
There isn't any amnesia.

>AMY, NO.
"So what did you mean?"

>AMY, I AM SPAZ.
Did you have to say that?
Amy sighs and leans foward. "And there you go saying that again. Spaz, I've known you for a while now, and I can tell something's wrong with you. You've been acting strangely ever since you were found unconscious in the hallway, and I want to know why. Everything about it."

>GULP
You gulp audibly.

>SAVE
Good thinking. Your game is saved. Amy sits there, waiting for you to formulate an answer.

>EXIT
Remember to come back soon. Amy is waiting!

Que Passa!!!!

"Happy Happy Happy, Joy Joy Joy!"
-Crocostimpys... Or is it Crocostimpies?
Ren and Stimpy

Another wonderful eposode!!!

>Beep
Derby appears and turns your beep into a (/)
>Eat Derby.
You lunge at Derby with your mouth wide open. He bans you before you get close enough
You have died...
(R)estore (S)ave (T)hink of Amy
>Save
Ok, you have save... after you DIED.
>Nuts
I bet your kicking yourself pretty hard right now...

Amy is still waiting.
C'mon, Unknown Rabbit ... post more!

Que Passa!!!!

C'mon, Unknown Rabbit ... post more!

Yeah, Unknown... Think of Amy!

Have you ever looked at a word for too long, and then it looks like it's not spelled right, even though it is? Isn't that weird?

Anyway, I couldn't think of anything useful to put here. Where in the fraggin' spamtasicism is UR?! *goes off on a quest to do whatever seems right at the time... er, to find Unknown Rabbit*

Frf. Me new word. (Note the lack of vowels. That's what makes it über-spamtastic.)

*dies*

Hi everyone.. sorry about all this.. no story yet, either.
When I wrote the last part, nothing had been written for some time, and I wanted to put something out, so I wrote up to a cliff hanger then stopped. This was probably a bad idea in itself, before I had been simply typing until I ran out of ideas, then taking a break, and deciding how much to post simply by the number of characters. The last bit I padded out until it was a good size, and was typed out completely on its own. So fine, I had a cliff hanger - but I then realised I had no idea what to do after it. Before, I had been just typing, and I could remove stuff if it didn't work out - but too late, this was already posted.

So I've been here for a while now, not sure what to do. I just came up with an idea - granted, I kind of sat here until I did - but an idea. So far I've only got an idea, no actual typed out story - but there should be new stuff soon.. I hope. Warning, though, it's going to get rather weird. You might well all be disappointed at how it ends, too, as I think it's probably going to end soon - but I can't really think of any other way.......

Ok, good. Just as long as you keep at it.

`N0

Que Passa!!!!

We don't really care how it ends, Unknown: To tell you the truth, I tend to get qualms that MY endings might be dissapointing(I'm great with middles, and sometimes good with beginings, but I still have this feeling in the pit of my being that I suck at endings.)

Ok, here we are.. be warned that it now gets very weird, a prime example of what a good idea it is to know what you're going to have after a cliff hanger before you put one in.

>AMY, I AM NOT SPAZ.
She takes this news fairly well, but says "you mean, all this time you've been saying you are it's been untrue?"

>AMY, IT'S A LONG STORY.
"Start at the beginning."

>AMY, I AM PLAYING A COMPUTER GAME IN WHICH I CONTROL SPAZ USING A TEXT PROMPT. I HAVE BEEN GOING AROUND ACTING MOSTLY LIKE SPAZ DUE TO THE PROGRAMMING OF THE GAME, HAVING VARIOUS ADVENTURES ON CARROTUS.
Amy stares at you for a while. Then "Oh, come on. You can't expect me to believe that."

>AMY, IT'S TRUE.
"As true as 'I am Spaz'? Prove it somehow."

>PROVE IT SOMEHOW
I think you're on your own with this one.

>AMY, HOW SHOULD I PROVE IT?
"Oh, I don't know. Those games have save and load functions, right?"

>YES
Yes, what?

>AMY, YES.
"Well, save the game. I'll say something, then you load it, write what I said down, and I'll say something. If I say what's on the paper, I'll believe you."

>WHAT IF SHE SAYS SOMETHING DIFFERENT IF SHE SEES ME WRITING?
Then you're in trouble.

>IT'S JUST A GAME, RIGHT?
Of course!

>SAVE
Your game is saved.

>AMY, SAY SOMETHING.
"Do you like Hyperbolia?"

>RESTORE
Your game is restored.

>INVENTORY
You are carrying the following items:
5 Tiny carrots
Airboard
Dangerous Gun
Key to End of Game
Note
Rabbit fur parachute
No contents
No Coatrack
Red Key
Knowledge of where End of Game is

>WRITE "DO YOU LIKE HYPERBOLIA?" ON BACK OF NOTE
You do as you instructed.

>AMY, SAY SOMETHING.
"Do you like Hyperbolia?"
Yes, I agree, that was convinient.

>THANK FROGS
They screw up their faces in huge smiles.

>GIVE AMY NOTE
"A list of phone numbers?"

>AMY, READ OTHER SIDE.
She turns the note over and stares for a long while.
"Oh. My. God."

>BE GOD
Be serious.

>WAIT
Amy suddenly speaks. "I'm.. not.. real?"

>AMY, I'M AFRAID NOT.
"But.. I must be real! I've lived before now.. I can remember things happening...."

>AMY, CAN YOU FOCUS ON THE MEMORIES?
She concentrates. "Yes.. they're not implanted in me or anything.."

>HOLD ON..
You hold onto your consciousness, despite not being in any danger of losing it.

>I'VE PLAYED TEXT GAMES BEFORE.. THEY DIDN'T HAVE NEARLY THIS MANY THINGS YOU COULD DO..
Have I mentioned that people who write their thoughts in text prompts are weird?

>YOU BE QUIET.
Look, if I were quiet, you wouldn't be able to do anything!

>MY POINT IS, HOW COULD THEY POSSIBLY HAVE PUT IN SO MANY OPTIONS FOR SO MANY SITUATIONS?
Why ask me? I'm just part of a game.

>AMY?
What about her?

>AMY, AMY?
She looks at you. "What is it?"

>AMY, YOU DO SEEM REAL.. SO DOES EVERYONE. I DON'T KNOW HOW A GAME COULD HAVE SUCH A VARIETY OF COMMANDS SO AS I CAN TYPE IN ABOUT ANYTHING AND IT WILL HAVE ITS OWN EFFECT.
She looks at you hopefully. "So I might be real, somehow?" She apparently is quite appreciative of this idea, for obvious reasons.

>AMY, MAYBE. I'M GOING TO ASK THE AUTHORS OF THIS GAME ABOUT THIS.
You know, you're a very suspicious person. Do you believe in conspiricies?
Anyway, Amy nods.

>SAVE
Game saved.

>EXIT
Bye bye! Remember that your doctor is really an alien in disguise!



>RESTORE
Game restored.

>AMY, I'VE SENT AN EMAIL TO THEM.
"Email?"

>AMY, IN THE RE - IN MY WORLD, EMAIL IS A METHOD OF COMMUNICATION.
"Oh."

>WAIT
If you plan to type >WAIT until you get a response to your email...

>AMY, I'M GOING TO GO FOR A WALK UNTIL I GET A RESPONSE.
"All right, have a nice time.." she seems a little sad, but wouldn't you be?

>GO OUTSIDE
You begin to exit the room, but she stops you.
"Wait a minute.. on Carrotus?"

>AMY, YES.
"But... if I, and the other rabbits, ARE real.. every time you load your game, you're erasing parts of our lives!"

>AMY, THEY'LL JUST DO THE SAME THINGS THEY DID ALL OVER AGAIN, WITH NO MEMORY OF DOING IT BEFORE. LIKE YOU AND THE HYPERBOLIA.
"But it's unfair to just erase pieces of lives, even if they'll do it again! How would you like parts of YOUR life to be destroyed?"

>SHE HAS A POINT.
No, she doesn't. Go out and get yourself killed a few times.

>AMY, ALL RIGHT.
You say that, then continue standing there. Go have fun! Better then typing >WAIT over and over.

>SAVE
Game saved.. come on, go outside!

>I'M PLANNING TO.
Oh, good.

>EXIT
Game exited.. but I want an adventure or two when you come back!



(continued in second post due to character limit)

(continued from first post due to character limit)




>RESTORE
Game restored. You are standing in Devan's lab, and Devan is conviniently there too.

>DEVAN, WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
"Jazz is nosing around my lab again?"

>DEVAN, NO. RELATED TO THE GAME-UNIVERSE THING.
"Oh, right. I've tended to forget about that since you re-installed realtime for the Devan universe."

>DEVAN, ONE OF THE PLAYERS OF THE GAME HAS GOTTEN SUSPICIOUS.
"He knows that the game he owns is actually a copy of another universe?"

>DEVAN, HE SUSPECTS AS MUCH.
"How did he find out? When I copied my entire universe and turned it into a game for you to publish, I made it completely game like, right up to the annoying Parser."

>DEVAN, APPARENTLY, YOU MADE THE PARSER TOO CLEVER. HE ACCEPTS TOO MANY COMMANDS THAT OTHER GAMES WOULDN'T.
Devan glowers. "Well, he's just another human.. you can easily take care of him."

>DEVAN, IT WOULD BE KIND OF SUSPICIOUS TO FIND HIM DEAD IF HE JUST OPENED A PACKAGE FROM MY COMPANY.
Devan thinks about this for a while, then nods. "I've got it. I just need to create one more machine.."
Devan gets out his tools, calls a few lizard assistants, and begins work.

>WAIT UNTIL MACHINE IS FINISHED
You stand there for some time, munching on food the lizards bring you from time to time. After a while, the machine is done.

>THANK DEVAN
You thank the turtle.
"Don't bother. After all that work removing the very existance of a real Spaz, right under Jazz's nose in countless universes, I'm not going to have that work undone in any way by a mere human.
"Now, once you have the code for the machine, replace the startup screen with a message telling the player to press enter. Have enter start the machine's code."

>DEVAN, IS THAT ALL?
"Yes.. no. You might want to make pressing enter a one time thing, because otherwise it can happen to other people who come across his computer. Now go away."

>SAVE
Game saved.

>EXIT
Game exited.



>RESTORE
Game restored. You have just reassured Amy you won't erase lives.

>AMY, I'M BACK.
She looks at you oddly for a moment before deciding the time runs differently in your universe.

>AMY, THEY SENT ME A PATCH FOR THE GAME WHICH WILL "FIX THE PROBLEM I MENTIONED".
"Make us not real at all?"

>AMY, I'M NOT SURE.
She looks concerned. "So you have no way of knowing what this patch will do?"

>AMY, NO. FOR ALL I KNOW IT'S A TROJAN.
"Trojan?" Amy asks, which is understandable. There's no Trojan Horse in the past of Carrotus, after all.

>AMY, SOMETHING THAT WILL MESS UP MY COMPUTER.
She understands, but says nothing.

>AMY, I HAVE AN IDEA.
About time you did. You haven't typed anything for around eight minutes.
Amy looks hopeful.

>AMY, I'LL BACKUP ALL MY FILES, MAKE A COPY OF THE GAME, AND INSTALL THE PATCH ON THAT ONE.
She looks thoughtful. "And no lives erased?"

>AMY, IF THE PATCH IS A TROJAN, I CAN REPLACE THE FILES, AND THE GAME WON'T HAVE BEEN RUN. IF IT MAKES YOU ALL UNREAL, YOU WON'T REALLY HAVE LIVES TO ERASE. AND IF IT IMPROVES MATTERS, IT'LL BE A COPY OF THE GAME, SO YOU'LL ALL BE THE SAME PEOPLE.
She thinks this over for a while, but finally gives you permission to do this. Yes, I know that sounds funny.

>SAVE
Game saved.

>EXIT
Game exited.



The changes were instantly apparently. The menu screen of the game was gone, and all that was there now was a red message atop the black screen, reading "Please press the enter key to initiate changes."
He pressed the enter key. And then he felt a very odd feeling, as his monitor opened up, and sucked him inside it, before closing contentedly.

The Player looked around him in amazement. He was in a castle.. the main features of the room were a bed, a desk, a red rabbit standing motionless near the door, and a fuschia rabbit sitting in front of the desk..
"Amy?" breathed The Player.
The fuschia rabbit looked away from the red one, surprised. "Who are you? How did you get in here?"
"I'm The Player.... I've been controlling Spaz.. and now it seems I'm in your world instead of him."
Then a deep booming voice startled them both. "Indeed you are, Player."
"And who are YOU?" asked Amy, trying to stay calm. In the past hour or so, she had learned Spaz was being controlled by someone from another universe, and her entire life might be just one part of a program. The controller had just now apparently appeared in the universe She lived in, and after all that, some voice was not her top concern.
"Me?" asked the voice. "I'm the Recorder.. I record everything that happens, and I know all. Your human friend there knows me as the Parser."
The Player sat there, stunned. "It's..... all real?"
"Oh, it's real, all right." said the Recorder, laughing. "This - everything around you - the whole universe around you - isn't just some game created by a game company back in your universe, Player boy. Nope! You've heard of Devan, I trust?"
"Of course.." said The Player, looking around. Amy just nodded.
"Well, he and this other guy from Your universe got together - due to a wormhole in the space-time continum which plopped the other guy in This universe -, and together they created a program to turn the entire universe into a game, with Spaz as the main character. Spaz is crazy and random enough normally, he was the best canidate for it, not to mention it would be a real cool revenge on Jazz, completely destroying his little brother's soul. This universe is merely a copy of the original, the only other version of this universe to have realtime. Devan and the other guy were nice enough to let you be able to live, considering nobody will ever be able to control that paticular Spaz again."
With that, the Recorder was gone. Considering he was unsolid, they weren't sure how they knew he was gone, but they could tell.
"What..... now?" asked Amy, quivering. It was quite evident to The Player that one more thing might well push her over the edge.
"There's only one thing I can think of, other then just forget about this all and live normally.." said The Player, hesitantly. "And that's finally find that end of game...."


Legend tells of a rabbit and a human who explore the universe, searching for what they refer to as the "end of game". Many times they found hints as to where it might be, and just as many they could not find it there. They first travelled to Turtle Town, to find a small door only visible in the night time, but it just led to an old, deserted manor which, despite their careful searching, held no end to their quest.
Next, we are told, they travelled to Lagunicus, where they defeated a submarine type thing. Skeptics, ones who don't believe the legends, hold this as one of the major points bringing it down - everyone knows Jazz defeated that thing some time ago!
After this, historians and tall-tale-tellers lose track of the exact order of their adventures, but they have been known to ski down a large snowy hill towards a secret hidden base, to explore countless worlds searching for "Chaos Emeralds", to rescue anyone in need of rescuing (paticularly princesses), and many other adventures.
In times of trouble, when they were between leads or at a loss of what to do, they were known to call out for the "Parser" to help them, but there was never any response. Musicians have decided they probably actually said "Purser", and have written ballads of the two coming from "the train ride from Dam Nation", many of which still are popular tunes today.
Are they alive or dead? Did they ever exist? Will they ever find the "end of game"? Time may tell.. but I won't. Better to leave Some mystery in the world.
(From Collected Recordings of the Recorder, volume 7)




Yes, that was weird. You know you're in trouble when you have this little care-free story about a rabbit going around and having random adventures and suddenly all you can think of to do is have it all get revealed as some evil plot.

Que Passa!!!!

WOW! Unknown used Explode-o-visiontm (when you break up the one chapter into two parts due to size. I wasn't sure if it had a name, so I named it when it happened to me a while back.)

And as for the whole game-Vs-real thing: I think it was a cool concept. It really makes me think about stuff I haven't thought about since I was 6.

WEAR FBI OUTFIT
> You are now wearing a snazzy-looking FBI outfit.

THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE...
> Maybe, Maybe not. Nevertheless, you enjoyed the story.

YES I DID!
> Finally- something we agree on...

And all this time I thought this was all about Spaz wandering around being an id... er uh, himself.

Nice segue. If I could do that, I'd write stories roughly as good as some other people. *glares in admiration at Coppertop*

(Posts just to get and claim Page 2)

Over? It can't be over. Shame.

Edit: Gah, someone deleted their post. Bah!