The elderly humanoid behind the counter looked up as they came in, and readjusted the glasses perched atop his hooked.. beak. He wore a large satin dressing gown, which was decorated with various stars and planets, and his nose was powdered.
"Can I help you?" he asked.
"I don't really know." said Speedy, inclining his head in recognition. "First of all, what year is this?"
"4045, of course." said he.
A rabbit groaned. How was it that every time they fell to earth, it was 4045?
"You see," said Speedy, "we come from another world, in another time." He halted; how much to tell? But surely there could be no harm in this.. mutant? Half-breed? "More specifically, we come from the fabled War Tavern. It was destroyed, and we were taken away in a truck to a factory, wherein we avoided death. There, we found a P.O.S.T.N.O.B.I.L.L.S., which directed us to take a few steps to the left. A few seconds later, we found ourselves in front of your building, here."
"Divine intervention, indeed." muttered the creature, rising. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am TDJPSO (The Director of Jurassic Park Something or Other, in case you've forgotten) #2. I replaced the old one after he was eaten by Isabelle Kettlesore, one of the dinosaurs of our movie. Nobody liked him anyway, so it's no big loss."

"We must be on quest!" said the rabbit with no nose, excitedly. "Tell us, what wouldst thou hast us do? What task preform?"
"Actually," said TDJPSO v2, "everything's perfectly fine. No hitches whatsoever. But is there anything I can do to help you?"
"I'd like to go home.. where there's no place like, you know." said the Irish rabbit.
"Naturally! The spaceships are all in Docking Bay 94... turn left when you leave the building, go on until 31st Street, turn right, and then straight on 'til morning... errr, until you reach the spaceships. Tell whoever's in charge that I sent you. But would you like some refreshments before you go?"
"I'd like a carrot cake.." said the noseless one, musingly.
"I don't really have any." said TDJPSO v2.
"THEN BEER!" shouted Tyf, jarring Speedy out of his reverie.

An hour or so later, having partaken of what to Tavernerns is as what Nectar and Ambrosia is to the Greek Gods, the five rabbits left the building, still lugging the Cherry Table with them.
"Nice fellow, wasn't he?" asked the rabbit with no distinguishing characteristics, once they were out of earshot.
"Yes...." said Speedy, musingly. "But the beak kind of threw me off."
They discussed what the beak might mean, with theories ranging from avian ancestory to godly ancestory, while walking along, looking for 31st Street. After a while they found it, but with some difficulty, as it was buried in six inches of mail addressed to "Santa Claus". The group decided not to ask, and just turned right.
Soon, they had reached Docking Bay 94. It was situated next to a large building with a sign reading "Mos Eisley Cantina" in some font or another. It looked like a most wretched hive of scum and villainy, so they instantly wanted to check it out, but Tyf reminded them they wanted to get back to Carrotus without mishaps, so they steered clear, and entered the docking bay, which was oddly enough without guard.
"Now... where's a suitable spaceship?" asked the noseless rabbit. He was the most technically wisened of them all, so in this they trusted to his judgement.
After several minutes of fruitless search, he turned up with the solution the rest had concluded within a few seconds of their arrival -- that there was but the one spaceship in the docking bay. It was round, with some weird stuff on the top, and the cockpit wasn't even in the middle of the front.
"What a piece of junk!" said Speedy.

However, they put their misgivings aside, and boarded the spaceship. Its pilot - a man named Han Soda - would not fly them to Carrotus - in 2002 - for nothing, however, so they agreed to pay him for it once they were restored to their home planet, where they might well be able to scrape up some money.
Along with Soda, the 'ship was copiloted by a large furry creature called "Gurgi", who eagerly agreed to assist in what he called "Trippings and Shippings".
However, the good luck, as it could be called, did not last long. Before they had gotten very far off the planet, nine black warships blocked their path.
"What are those?" asked the rabbit without a description.
"Nostrils. They know I have the ring."
A silence.
"I also have the ruby slippers."
Another silence.
"And the Force."
Silence repeated itself.
"And the golden crown that calleth unto me the power of the winged monkeys."
You get the idea.
"And the magic beans that grow a beanstalk even to the clouds."
Silence stuff.
"Along with the missing one of the two glass slippers."
Nothing said.
"The meaning of life."
They stirred in brief interest.
"The Uberoldershticken."
No sound was heard.
"The 1.25 patch."
A pin dropped.
"A countdown mechanism that doesn't stop at 1."
Quiet maintained.
"Really spiffy gun stuff that could take any starship out easily."
This time, a reaction was gained.
"Well, why don't you USE it, then?" said one of the five rabbits, which is not known.
Soda blinked. "I beg your pardon?"
"If you've got this really spiffy gun stuff, why don't you use it on the Nostrils?"
He looked aghast. "I never thought of that!"
The rabbit with no nose sighed. It was going to be a long trip....

Soda was looked at with interest by Tyf.
"Can I see the golden crown?" she asked musingly. To control a flock of flying monkeys was something the most powerful weird battle for. But,
"Sorry, princess, but only one person gives those monkeys orders. Me." he said, and proceeded to aim his really spiffy gun at the flying black warship Nostrils.

Ducky crouched in the tiny baggage compartment with a small blue furby she had found wedged between a loose steel panel and what seemed to be a robotic paw, which lay idley against the wall.
She shook the furby and its eyes flew open.
"Do you mind?" It enquired politely, righting itself. Unfazed, Ducky set it on the floor. "So sorry," she said, and fled to find Rocky and tell him that the ship's furby could say more then "Wheeee! Mooooore..." or "Ohhh! Nooot fuuuun."

The abovementioned Rocky was slouching in a bucket seat somewhere to the rear of the plane watching "Rock Star" on a small screen with someone he didn't know moping beside him. He raised an eyebrow as Ducky, jolted by the sudden lurch the shuttle made, flew past and into a small refrigerator. The really spiffy gun had fired at the Nostrils, and in hopes that the ring was still aboard, the ship had switched into lightspeed and was now heading towards a remote planet.

Up in the cockpit, Gurgi bounced and didn't rhyme. "Curses!" he said loudly to Soda. "That better not be Tattooine." He then went back to sliding a lever up to a red light which had at one point read "self destruct" but now was scribbled out in pencil and words reading "gunray activator channeling fluid" and mumbled something about "slidings and glidings" in a much more Gurgish manner.


hey man, where are you? Where's Unknownie?

`Ducky

Originally posted by Ducky
Ducky crouched in the tiny baggage compartment with a small blue furby she had found wedged between a loose steel panel and what seemed to be a robotic paw, which lay idley against the wall.
She shook the furby and its eyes flew open.
"Do you mind?" It enquired politely, righting itself. Unfazed, Ducky set it on the floor. "So sorry," she said, and fled to find Rocky and tell him that the ship's furby could say more then "Wheeee! Mooooore..." or "Ohhh! Nooot fuuuun."

The abovementioned Rocky was slouching in a bucket seat somewhere to the rear of the plane watching "Rock Star" on a small screen with someone he didn't know moping beside him. He raised an eyebrow as Ducky, jolted by the sudden lurch the shuttle made, flew past and into a small refrigerator.

Actually, the abovementioned Rocky was with the main body of 'Taverners, as was Ducky. The actual contents of the ship, upon inspection, are;
Han Soda, Gurgi, Speedy, Tyf, the rabbit with an irish accent, the rabbit with no nose, and some other rabbit.

and in hopes that the ring was still aboard, the ship had switched into lightspeed and was now heading towards a remote planet.

For all continuative purposes, I don't quite understand this bit. Might I ask for clarification?

hey man, where are you? Where's Unknownie?

With the main body of 'Taverners, back on Carrotus.

Hmmmmmm... i'm tired from reading 5-7 pages in a row, but it was worth it i guess...
Eh? ROCKY POSTED? amazing... thought he was dead... well, i have re-re-re-found my way back here, nice to see ya all again...
*pops knuckles*
lez see if i can actually still write, heh...
*ponders a minute and re-reads the latest plot-line*
hmmmmmmmm... i might be able to work with this, yes... well, not really, but i can try to find out what the plot is
==============================================
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who was kinda bewildered and what not, about losing his betting money and various stuff happening, and people calling him beauman for the last 5-7 pages, suddenly pondered and got the thought of asking...

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Weren't we supposed to be on some quest to rebuild
the tavern or stop Kovu or something of the sorts?

Rocky: Ya, some stuff like that, but we're currently in some place with some Jurasic Park Director Person Stuff, so ya...

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Right....

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sat and twidled his fingers*
*Unknown did something Unknownish*
*Rocky reported Live and then Signed Off*
*Butterflys snuck up on Ducky and she jumped and hit her head on the baggage compartment*
*Hiru no Tsuki and other works by Arai Akino were playing in the backround*
*Shieguru Miyamoto created Zelda: TavernQuest*
*Plots were on the Frits*
*All the while BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ who everyone seems to call beauman sat wondering wat was happening*

Waell....


Tyf, Speedy, the rabbit with no nose, the rabbit with an irish accent, and some other rabbit are in some starship described as looking like the Millenium Falcon, piloted by Han Soda and Gurgi the big furry creature, who likes to rhyme. The ship, after fighting off some Nostrils, is heading towards some remote planet, which might or might not be Tattooine. And Gurgi is moving a lever up to a red light which formerly read "Self Destruct" but now says something about gunray fluid.

Kovu and Slayer are in a large circular hallway, being the current villains. The only exit of the hallway is their destination, but it's a secret that can only be found with a match. And they only have one match, and if it gets used in the wrong place they won't have any. And they only know where the right place is by using a match there. Which requires a match.

Fquist has turned into Frankenquist's Monster, and he and Vampyra Smurferama are in some undefined location, being a part of the evil forces of Kovu. Only Frankenquist's Monster's brain has been taken over by the Dutch Pastry Cook, who's a lot smarter.

The former TDJPSO (The Director of Jurassic Park Something or Other), who was a grouch, has been eaten, and replaced by a humanoid mutant with a beak, who is quite kindly and helpful.

GenEX has forgotten everything that happened since he first appeared on Tubelectric (which resulted in everyone getting sent to jail, excluding Beauthing and Kovu), and has flown off using his Psychic Powers, in search of good things to do on other planets.

Everyone else in the current plot (excluding Clockwork, who drove away in a Limo) is on Carrotus. BBoy has asked Ducky if this ("this" being Rocky and Batty Buddy) is her idea of a starship, but other then that, we have no idea what they're talking about. And in the long term, they're planning to go to Earth and find a Home Depot, which they plan to use to rebuild the 'Tavern somehow.

I don't think I forgot anyone.

Soda whipped around. "Gurgi! What are you doing?"
Gurgi stepped away from the lever, which he had almost managed to get up to the so called "Gunray Activator Channeling Fluid" thing, though not quite.
"Oh, honorable lord, Gurgi did not mean harm! He was just grooving and moving the lever up to help the fight! Oh, do not punish poor helpless Gurgi with smackings and whackings!"
"Gurgi....." said Soda, pointing at the space above the lever, "you were about to blow the ship up! See? "Self Destruct"."
"Oh, but that is crossed out with scribbles and quibbles! Now it does thing that helps in fightings and smitings!"
"No, Gurgi." said Soda, as paitently as possible. "It still Self Destructs the ship. Obviously, some enemy of ours has crossed that out and written Gunray Activator Channeling Fluid in hopes we would use it and blow ourselves up. Just don't touch that - oh (unrepeatable word)!, who's piloting the ship?!"
Han raced back to the cockpit, but it was already too late. The remote planet was looming up in front of the ship, getting larger and larger, and the ship could not preform a sharp enough turn to escape the collision.

Tyf, having struggled out of the refrigerator, walked haphazardly over to Speedy, who was still plopped in front of the viewing monitor. The ship's angle seemed to be acting like a boat on the ship, and it was getting difficult to keep ones' balance.
"Speedy! You'll never guess what the ship's Furby did!" Tyf began, but Speedy waved his hand and pointed at the monitor, which now was showing the view from a camera on the front of the ship. Evidently, they were heading for a planet.
"Why doesn't that pilot do something?" cried the rabbit with no nose, who had ran in. "We're all going to die horribly, like that street preacher said!"
"Not necessarily." said Speedy, once more taking command. "We seem to be going to hit the planet head on. In order to have minimal damage to ourselves, I suggest we all head towards the back of the ship."
"But is there time?" asked Tyf, biting a nail, like she had been taught to never do.
"Of course! When there's an incoming holocaust, time always slows down, so the heroes can get away from it in the rather meager time left to them!"
Unfortunately, this is only true in movies. There was a large jolt as the ship struck the planet, and most of the front fell off, burning stupendously.

Patrian Patrach, High Watermelon of the kingdom of Padoing, felt the ground quiver beneath his feet. Soon afterwards, a large explosion reached his abnormally large ears. Calling to a few armed guards, he went to investigate the disturbance.
It was not long before they learned the cause. A large, round thing was half buried in the planet surface. Some of it was on fire. A large square thing with many holes in it was laying nearby, singing "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do" with accompanying static. Until a large chunk of the round thing broke of, and smashed the singing box.
All around, smoke billowed. It was hard to see. But the keen eyes of Patrian and the guards could detect the movement near the middle, and as they turned their heads in that direction, two figures staggered forth from it. Three more followed, before the place from which they had emerged collapsed in on itself in a smouldering heap. The fire was seeming to engulf the fallen round thing now, and little was still untouched by the flames.
But Patrian had no eyes for the destruction of the fallen artifact, as the five figures were heading towards him and the guards, coughing.
The guards brought their weapons up, aiming at the figures, in case they proved hostile. Patrian advanced slowly towards them, arm outstretched in greeting. He knew not if the creatures knew this gesture, but it was worth a try. And one must be courteous to ones who might well be fallen gods.
The smoke cleared briefly, and Patrian Patrach was able to make out features on the five. Four of them, were furry creatures, with ears almost as long as those of Patrian and his comrades. He had heard tell of the Galactic Rabbits, and these looked much like the descriptions of them.
The fifth was harder to identify. It was large, and also furry, and seemed to have gotten a good deal of the wreckage stuck in its fur, adding to the disheveled appearance. It was quivering now, and staying as close to the ones who might be the Galactic Rabbits as possible.

The rabbit with no nose hid his face under his arms as steel and other parts of the ship rained down. The crash had been quite strong, and much had been jarred loose. The viewing monitor, obviously, had stopped working, and Tyf was looking at Speedy in a fashion that seemed to indicate she thought little of his earlier speech.
Their other comrades found their way into the small room, which was now rather packed.
"Where are the pilots?" asked the rabbit with the irish accent. It was true, they were nowhere to be seen.
"Spread out." said Speedy. "Look for either an exit, or the pilots. Anything else is currently little use, other then food, and we've got the refrigerator here."
They did so. The rabbit with no nose took a hallway which he remembered as leading to the cockpit. Halfway through, he found Gurgi hiding in a small crevice in the wall. Stepping over a pile of wreckage, the rabbit tapped Gurgi's shoulder.
"Where's Soda?"
"Oh, good sir, Gurgi does not know! He was in cockpit, and then the crashings and smashings started!"
That wasn't good, thought the rabbit with no nose. The front, from what he could tell, was partly underground, and mostly on fire. And the hallway was blocked after a few feet where the ceilling had completly fallen in, leaving no way through. He would have to give up Soda for lost, unless one of the others could find him. But that was unlikely.
"Come," said he to Gurgi, "let's get back to somewhere with more space. This hallway doesn't seem too safe."
Gurgi whimpered and nodded, and the two proceeded back to the room with the refrigerator. Only the rabbit with no distinguishing marks was there, having found the path he took mostly demolished, and unnavigatable. The three of them sat around for a bit, taking inventory of the food in the regrigerator, until Tyf and Speedy returned.
"Good news!" cried Speedy, still standing. "There's an exit not too far from here, and it's still in one piece!"
They waited for the rabbit with the irish accent, who soon returned. He had not been able to find Soda, or anything else, for that matter. But the ship was well and truly wrecked, from his account, with nothing working. Consoling Gurgi as they went, the six headed off in the direction Speedy said the exit lay.

The good luck, as it could almost be called, did not last. Soon, they found the roof of the passageway had caved in since Tyf and Speedy had last been there. However, the blockage was not severe, just a large metal bar. If they could hold it up, they could pass. But there was nothing nearby handy.
After some discussion, they decided two of them should hold it up, while the others passed, then they should follow. Speedy and the rabbit with no nose took unto themselves the task of holding the bar up, and the other four passed safely beneath.
"Ok, you go first." said Speedy, grunting from the effort it took to keep the bar up.
"First?" cried the rabbit with no nose, staring at Speedy. It was not hard, as they were at parallell with the passage. "I thought we were to go together!"
"Yes, but that won't work. Look at the ceilling over there -" he pointed further along the hallway at a section of ceilling, which was indeed sagging -"if we make a break for it, the impact of the bar when it falls is sure to cause the ceilling to cave in, preventing further progress. If you go first, at least one of us has a chance of making it."
That made sense to the rabbit with no nose, but he didn't like it. "But why should I go? You're the group leader, and you even have a name! I'm just "the rabbit with no nose". You're a much more important character. You go, save yourself!"
"Rabbit...." said Speedy, and looked at him. "We all have a name. You may just not have discovered yours yet."
This was a new concept. Names were discovered? But the rabbit with no nose thought it was a good concept, and tried to discover a name. A bit of nearby wreckage caught his eye. The word "Propulsion" was written on it.
"Speedy! I discovered my name! It's "Propulsion!" cried the rabbit with n - err, Propulsion.
"Just GO!" cried Speedy, exaspherated. Not taking the time to think about it, Propulsion ran for it, leaving Speedy baring the weight of the bar until safety allowed him to let go. But what was a strain for two rabbits, was not quite possible for Speedy alone, and he was forced to fling himself clear. Propulsion made it ahead of the falling ceilling, which did indeed block the passage throughly, but Speedy did not. Propulsion had no idea what had happened to his comrade, but there was no way to find out, so he ran ahead to catch up with the rest.

Tyf saw the rabbit with no nose sprinting up the passage, and cried out "Where's Speedy?"
"He didn't make it!" came the voice back. But now was not the time for sadness. They had to get out of the ship. The rabbit with the irish accent and that other rabbit were prying the door open, and breaking down would only be a hinderance. The rabbit with no nose, Tyf, and Gurgi stood by as the door groaned open, letting in more smoke then even on the inside. The other two got out through the door, and after no screams of terror were heard, the remaining three followed. They struggled through the smoke, intent on getting away from the demolished ship in case it exploded. Tyf was the first to see the group of soldiers awaiting them. What species they were, she knew not. One advanced from the rest and extended an arm to them, and Gurgi got scared and huddled next to the rabbit with the irish accent.

Above, the Nostril ships began descent.

....


i'm afraid.

i don't know whats happening anymore! *bawls*

...snif


`duckay the bemused

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ aka beauman aka beauthing sat idly, in Somewhereness, fiddling with some of his contraptions that was in his Backpack of Stuffness For The Right Moment For No Particular Reason (BoSFTRMFNPR), when he then pulled out one of his older models of a PlotHole Gate-Jump, when he needed it, and saw an ugly black sploch on it.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Bah... always messing up my contraptions on these wild adventurers.... *mutter* *mutter*

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, without thinking, pulled out some rag and without thinking started rubbing it off, which he succeeded, but then noticed he pressed a red "activation" button down*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: why me? and why are these buttons always red?

*nothing happened*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: hmmm... batteries must be dead... no wait... those aren't expired for another... milenia or 2... (the current standard, heh), unless they're just outta place...

*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ just, by reaction, shook it, and it turned on and launched a black plot hole, and emerged into a wreckage-littered area with much wreckage and litter... and a fridge... and some more wreckage...*

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: why i do these things, i dunno...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then heard footsteps*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: footsteps? in this place? where has this plot hole tooken me now? bah...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ attempted to hide*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ failed to hide*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ attempted to hide*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ failed to hide*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ repeated the above another 10 times*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ successfully hid*
(you know all you hate it when that happens in games by Black Isle, *mutters about Icewind Dale* hehehe )
Then a furry, long-eared creature walked rather haphazardly into the room, opening a nearby fridge and complaining*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ revealed himself out of the shadows*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ swung with a large slimey trout*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ did stun damage*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ did 3 damage (- 3 damage penalty)*
Furry-long-eared-creature-who-we-obviously-all-know-as-speedy:
ow... wadja do that for?
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: oh, it's you, Speedy? looks like tae plot hole invention thingie in my backpack of stuffness for the right momen- ach! bah... just my backpack, teleported me near familiar faces...
Speedy: Ah, beauthing!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: er... u mean BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ.
Speedy: Ya, that's right, beauman.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: no, not beauman, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ!
Speedy: uh... right...
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: so wat are u doin' in such a utterly uncleansly destroyed badly unkempt place in this neck of the ostrich?
Speedy: crash land, b00m, plan, support piece of steal, crash, stuck here, end of story.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: uh huh... that bad, eh?
Speedy: Yep... of course... if i had help... maybe i could get through...
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: i could help, methinks, jus' show meh tae way.
*Speedy then attempted to decipher the sudden change in dialect*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: er... show me the way
*Speedy, more fluent in regularish dialect over an unusual version of Tyfish dialect showed BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ to the area that collapsed*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: ok, i'll throw these stones asside, u throw those stones asside, aighT?
Speedy: K.
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and speedy, with marvelous ishy gooshy teamwork and speedyness, threw the rocks out of the way, so the bar could be lifted*
Speedy: alright, all that's left is that big pillar-bar thing.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: aight.
Speedy: you get that side, i'll get this side.
*they both lifted, and grunted, and sweated, then took off thier shirts and stuff and were sweating and looking sexy, and then they hesitated, not sure wat to do now that the bar was up in the air*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: errrr... *grunt* what now? how... arrrrrgg... are we going to get out?
Speedy: Easy *huff* we'll just go at the *grunt* *pause*... same time...
Speedy: 1...
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: 2...
Speedy: 3!
*they both ran forward, now the food supply of the fridge left behind*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: *sigh* lets sit down for a sec... need a little breather here...
Speedy: same...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then cluttered through his junk in his backpack thingie*
*Speedy then gasped, slightly annoyed*
Speedy: Is that a... JACK LIFT?
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: eh? o? this? ya, why?
Speedy: ARGGGGGGGGG... why didn't we just u tell me u had one?
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: uh... i dunno... u didn't ask i guess
*Speedy grumbled, since BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ mutters too much so everyone else is stuck with only the ability to grumble*

The rest of the persons were already continueing, nearing the surface... waiting for Unknown to continue with the plot
==============================================
You continue, unknown, i want this to get off the ground a little bit more before i write anymore, heh.

Patrian Patrach stood there, looking foolish, arm out in front of him. The five creatures, four of whom might or might not be Galactic Rabbits, were looking at him. The female advanced, and tremulously extended her arm as well.. and contact was made. Evidently, the cultures were not too different. Unless they were like the primitive Galonquins, who imitated what you did. Further testing the level of intelligence, he spoke.
"Who are you?" No formal pleasentries, no elegance, just a short and simple question. Would they speak the same language? It was unlikely. But what's a possibility is worth trying.

The rabbit with the irish accent jerked as Gurgi huddled against him. Evidently, alien species were not a usual experiance to the thing. Which was odd for a spaceship co-pilot. But Gurgi didn't really behave like a spaceship co-pilot in many other ways, either, so it wasn't too much of a surprise.
It was evident what had frightened the furry creature. The apparent head of the alien group had extended an arm. Tyf stepped away from their group, and extended her hand. The two hands - he supposed that thing the alien had on it's arm was a hand - met. This was a monumentous occasion, now he came to think of it. Establishing contact with a new species.
Then the alien spoke. The rabbit with the irish accent was fairly sure it was speaking, as it seemed coordinated, and not a sound made out of shock. But the words, as they probably were, made no sense. A different language. How aggravating. Well, it was only to be expected. You could hardly expect aliens on an unexplored planet to speak the same language as you. But it made diplomacy harder. Not to mention getting home.

Patrian Patrach saw the look of non understanding on the face of the creature in front of him, so he pointed at himself. "Patrian", he said. Even if they spoke different languages, surely they would recognize naming.
"Tyf" said the creature in front of him. An interesting name, only one syllable. But syllables might not be a form of rank wherever these aliens had come from.
"Propulsion" said one of the maybe rabbits, and "Gurgi" quavered the furry, disheveled creature. The other two did not appear to have names. Maybe they were servants.
He gestured, hoping they would understand, for them to come with him. Surely their thinking would bring them to the conclusion that it was pretty much the best option. Fortunately, they understood the gesture, and so both parties walked towards the direction of Aranselum, the nearest settlement. You got all types in Aranselum - maybe someone there would know the language the aliens spoke.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ waited until Speedy finished grumbling, then got up. "Come on, don't just sit there. This place is probably still in danger of collapsing totally, considering the various crashes I've been hearing. Let's not waste time wool gathering, and try to get out onto the planet."
Speedy grumpily got up, and the two proceeded along the passage, until they came to where the door had been. Evidently, it and most of the ship surrounding it had collapsed, preventing progress.
"Here we go again." said Speedy, and the two began trying to clear away the rubble. But apparently, this blockage was much more severe, for for each load they moved away, another fell into place.
"Well," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, "we have two choices. Find another route, or look for something in this backpack which is probably copyright infringing on Batty Buddy's."
"Let's try the backpack." said Speedy, and reached inside. The PlotHole Gate-Jump, which had apparently somehow gotten back inside the backpack, came out.
"Worth a try." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so the obligatory red button was pressed.

Frang Frajine mumbled sleepily as the alarm bug climbed in through the window and bit him on an ear. "Five more minutes.." he said, but the alarm bug was not equipped with a snooze antennae, so the biting continued. At last, he brushed the thing away, and got up. School was back. No more vacation. Walking into the vacumn tube, Frang grabbed the acid-proof hologrambag from the table.
A few short time lengths later, Frang walked into the school. All about him were the disgruntled countenances that meant they did not appreciate the first day of school either. The first class was Mythology. What rubbish. Three clockrounds of listening to that batty teacher lecturing on about the god of this and the god of that, and what their ancestors sacrificed, and all that. Who cared?
"And so," said that 'batty teacher', "the gods of wisdom and stupidity vanished from the planet. But it was said, that they should come again at some later date. And, if you should be present when they do, remember this. The god of stupidity can be distinguished by the large trout he carries, and the god of wisdom by the fact that he shamelessly associates with someone who carries a large trout."
There was a pop, and two creatures were standing in the room. They were furry, and their ears were almost as long as Frang and the other inhabitants of the planet. One wore a bag, which was strapped to his shoulders, and the other carried a large trout.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked around the room, warily. It was filled with aliens, all staring at them, wide eyed. One, who seemed older then the rest, was bouncing up and down in exhilaration, crying out to the other aliens in some other tongue. Easily remedied. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pulled out a couple of translators, and put them on the throats of Speedy and himself. They had not been used since Miyamoto.. did they still work? Yes, now the older alien's cries could be understood. "The gods of wisdom and stupidity!"
Maybe the translators needed readjusting, thought BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and inspected them carefully. But no, they were working fine. So they were thought to be gods. That couldn't be too bad.
"I am the God of Wisdom!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, hoping that was right. If it was wrong, and they thought he was the god of stupidity, he couldn't say too much for their intelligence, so they probably wouldn't notice. Whispering to Speedy to play along, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ tried to strike a godly pose.
"I am the God of Stupidity." said Speedy, sulkily, waving the trout around a little. It was understandable, of course. Who would want to be thought the God of Stupidity by an entire species?

Propulsion strode along beside Gurgi and the rabbit with nothing to distinguish him. Evidently the alien were taking them somewhere, and it was likely to be better then being abandoned on the surface of an alien planet. It was really quite phenomenal that there was air they could breath. He would have thought all planets with air had been discovered ages ago. Just where were they, anyway?
After not too long a time, they came to what was evidently a city. The lead alien pointed at it and said "Aranselum!" importantly. But was Aranselum the name of the city, or some word describing it? For all he knew, "Aranselum" could mean "Prison Colony" in this alien tongue. But they had been treated fairly, and it would be kind of rude to run out on the aliens now.
They got inside the city without much difficulty, there being no guards to halt them. Evidently, this was either a time of piece, or Aranselum was protected by far more subtle means. The city was built much like any other city, with buildings and streets. The streets were packed with aliens, some holding up signs of some sort, reading unintelligle words. A large hovercraft seemed to be coming down one street, and was probably the source of the comotion. As it drew nearer, Propulsion made out details. It was quite elaborate, and two figures were sitting in the back of it, waving at the crowd. One wore a backpack, and the other swung a large trout around. And they didn't look like the other aliens did. In fact.....
"BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ!! Speedy!!!" cried Propulsion, and broke away from his group, running towards the hovercraft, pushing indignant aliens out of the way.
"Propulsion!" cried Speedy, and leaned over the side. "What are you doing here?"
"After we got out of the ship, we met up with some aliens, and they brought us here. But aren't you dead?"
Speedy laughed. "No, I -" he broke off as an alien in some sort of uniform spoke to him in the unknown tongue. But Speedy spoke back to him in the same, and the alien went away.
"You can SPEAK to them?"
Speedy slapped his forehead, accidentally using the hand with the trout in it, before leaning back into the hovercraft.
"BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ! I need a few more translators." After looking inquiringly at Propulsion, who held up five fingers, "Five of them."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ handed over the translators absent mindedly, apparently in deep conversation with some alien. Soon, Gurgi and the four rabbits Patrian had found had translators on their throats.

Patrian Patrach, along with four of his findings, watched in puzzlement as one of the could-be-galactic rabbits broke loose and ran towards the hovercraft. Apparently, the people of Aranselum were convinced that a couple of gods had come down, and were touring them in some hovercraft. But that did not explain the galactic rabbit - if it was one - 's sudden sprint.
He called to a civilian, and asked who were in the hovercraft.
"The Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity!" cried the civilian, exuberantly. "They have come to show us our mistakes, and probably impose high taxes!"
Well, that sounded like gods. Couldn't leave well enough alone if you told them to with a hot poker.
And the god of... Stupidity, by the looks, was talking to the galactic rabbit - assuming that was what it was. Could it be that they weren't just aliens, but other gods, as he had thought at first? But if they were gods, why hadn't they been able to speak the languages he had spoken in?
The God of Wisdom gave something to the God of Stupidity, and the other four aliens (or gods) that he had found went over to the hovercraft as well. The God of Stupidity, from what Patrian could tell, was giving them something. Apparently, they knew eachother, at least.

oh, this is sounding good... i see a good plot here Hey! PEOPLEZ! THERE HAZ TO BE MORE PEOPLEZ WHO WANT TO POST!
One question Unknown.... Where are you in all of this?
==============================================

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was engaging in conversation with the mythology teacher, trying to leach out as much info as he could about thier "gods", so he could be prepared if they questioned him.

Mythology Teacher: Yes, so was it true that you predicted that
The God of Building would have an affair with The Goddess of Marble?

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: er.... Ya... i did... i saw it coming, it was very simple, really... i mean, the way that he was looking at her... and the way that she was looking at him... and uhhh.... After that spawned Marble Buildings, so uh.... ya.... What's your name?

Mythology Teacher: I am Stonrachu, Guru of Mythology. I was voted by the people here as a great teacher of Mythology. Of course, meeting a god in person... it is great! But why not just view us from above?

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Because... (Think, BæÅü! THINK!). We descended in Mortal Form, for we feel it would be better to meet the people this way... it is great that you teach of us rightfully.

Stonerachu: It is an honor.


The rest of the group saw Propulsion running over, and noticed 2 other furry creatures on the cart, and ran over, and also recognized them as BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and Speedy.
*the group ran over to catch up with them*

Propulsion: Here! take the translators!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: wait a sec, guys...
*everyone was about to put them on*
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ switches his translator off*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: uhhh... they think i'm the god of wisdom, and they think Speedy is the god of stupidity... so uhhhhhhhhhhhh... i beleive we should play along for now... i know we'll have to face the consequences later... but we need to find out more wabout everything here, otherwise we're screwed either way.
Tyf: ok, so that means i get to be a Goddess?
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Er... ya... whatever you want to be the goddess of.
Tyf: I'll be tae Goddess of Canadian Sex, since veggie isn't here! er... wait, no canadians here... i'll just be the Goddess of Art or something lame like that.
Propulsion: God of Speed!
Speedy[grumbling]: Why couldn't i be that?
Gurgi: God of... HAIR!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: eh... we can't have too many gods... the other can be... uhhhh... Zealots[Devine Followers] of Tae Gods!

The plan was set, troubled was thier minds, but they didn't care, they were pretending to be gods, so it was phun, for now...

*soon, everybody was on the ship w/ translators, parading through the streets, including the patriarch was aboard with his guards, and the Mythology teacher, Stonrachu*

Patriarch: So the gods have finally come down?
Speedy: Yes, we have descended or something like that, what BæÅü... er... God of Wisdom over there said.
Patriarch: That is great news... let us feast in the halls of Kontroplicata Castle, to celebrate the visiting of the gods! Then, we might discuss matters that you all prolly know by now...
Gurgi[whispering to Propulsion]: Matters? what matters do u think he's talking about?
Propulsion: no idea...
==============================================
Unknown, check ur private messages, i'm going/have PMed u after this post.

Patrian Patrach (Not Patriarch!) led the way. The seven creatures, two of whom claimed to be gods, and the other five who were of unknown.. pretty much everything, followed him, waving at people.
Frang Frajine broke loose from the crowd, and ran up to Speedy. "Hey, you're the God of Wisdom, right?"
Speedy shook his head. "Nay. I am the God of Stupidity. You should pay more attention in class." He had seen the alien in the classroom where they had emerged in, so he was able to say such an all knowing thing. It sounded all knowing, anyway.
Frang, not seeming embarrased, went over to the other side of the procession, where BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was, and repeated the question. "Hey, you're the God of Wisdom, right?"
"Yeh.. that's me, uh huh." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, whose mind was on other things. It might not be safe to have the others pose as gods - they did not know too much about the other gods of this planet, or what they looked like. He would have to think of something before they reached Kontroplicata Castle, wherein doubtless there would be introductions to be made.
"Well, can you help me? I need to figure out how to make my allowance last a week. I always spend it all within four days."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ groaned. This was an aspect of the role he hadn't bargained on. Next they'd probably be putting him on a gameshow. Lucky Speedy. But he would have to give some sort of answer...
"Uh, gee, I can't right now. I'm... preparing a speech!" Yeah, that was it. Preparing a speech. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea, either. Frang looked sad, and melted into the crowd.

Patrian turned to his followers, which had grown to a large number. Decent sized portions of the crowd had come along, hoping to watch. Well, the guards could deal with them easily enough.
Turning to the God of Wisdom, who was probably the best at this sort of thing, he said "Stay here, and keep everyone in line. I'll be back shortly."
This was true, really. He planned to be back shortly, and there weren't too many reasons he wouldn't be, so it was safe enough to say.
Patrian walked up to the gate of the castle and bid it open, which it did. The security cameras recognized him, which was good, as he had not been to Kontroplicata for a while. It was a nice place, too.
With an air of importance, Patrian strode through various corridors, past several different council chambers, until he reached the one he was looking for. The "Council for determining how to get the public to pay more then previously" room. This was undoubtedly their field.
"Hello, gentlemen." said he, stepping inside. "I have come to inform you of a new money making oppurtunity in your area. The general populace is determined that two aliens which have appeared are the Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity, whom they do look like. And they have five other characters with them. I'm sure you can do something with this information."
The council mulled it over briefly, before the man at the head of the table spoke. "Thank you for your concerns, your message shall be dealt with as we see fit. In the meantime, thank you for coming to us, and we hope you'll fall prey to one of our other "pay more" schemes."
That was taken care of. If this turned out to be a paticularly useful thing to them, he might get paid. And he could buy a higher title then "High Watermelon".
Rubbing his hands, Patrian left the council room, and navigated the castle until he found the King, who was playing 3D Chess with someone. That was odd. Pointy ears. Oh well.
"Your majesty." said Patrian, bowing.
"Patrian!" said the King, rising. "I was hoping you would drop by. Look, I'm absolutly stumped on a good move, and -"
"Not now." said Patrian, a little ruder then he had intended. "The Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity have come down, and I have brought them here to discuss -" he looked at the pointy eared stranger "- you know what. Should I arrange a hearing in the main chamber?"
"Oh, yes, yes, by all means." said the King. "Just imagine, the Gods! This is a monumentous occasion, now I come to think of it!"
"My thoughts exactly, sir." said Patrian.
"I'll be there shortly." said the King, and plumped back into his seat, studied the board a bit, then moved a piece, with a low chuckle.
The pointy eared stranger moved one of his pieces. "Checkmate, your highness."

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ listened carefully as... Patrian, he thought Tyf had said - gave him instructions, then nodded. Turning to the rest, he relayed the message, then kept an eye on things.
Soon, Patrian returned, looking cheery. "The king will see you now. Step this way, please." said he, then went back inside.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who had not had time to prepare a speech, followed, along with the rest of his party. A lot of civilians followed, but the gate closed after the rabbit with the irish accent, who was the last who was supposed to get in, so that was all right. Nice technology, too.
Soon, they were in the main chamber. Some big pompous fellow, who BæÅü supposed was the king, sat in a large chair, with some laser activating controls on either armrest. All around stood various other characters (Councilmen, Patrian whispered), looking grave.
"Your Highness, the Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity!" cried Patrian, importantly, waving a hand to indicate who he meant. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked important, and Speedy swung the trout along, accidentally smacking Patrian in the head. He quickly drew it back, and looked innocent.
"Ah, yes, very good, very good!" said the King, looking down on them. "But who are these others?"
Here was the tricky part. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had not quite figured out who they all were. And to make matters worse, Propulsion had told him that he, Tyf and Gurgi had told Patrian their names. Name changing for them would be difficult.
"Your highness -" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, thinking fast, "this is Gurgi, a Zealot. This is Tyf, a Zealot." Those two had wanted to be gods. So had Propulsion. He would have to do some explaining later.
"This is Propulsion, also a Zealot. It is healthy for gods to keep a few of them around, just in case." Quickly, he turned to the rabbit with the irish accent, and whispered. "You're irish, right?" The rabbit nodded. "Pick some god from irish mythology. Any. And say you're a god from another world."
While the rabbit with the irish accent gulped, looked at the King, and said "I am a god from another world - Dagda, the Green Harper.", BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ turned to the remaining rabbit, and continued whispering. "You. Pick a god, any god. And remember to say you're from another world."
"I, too, am another wordly god." said the rabbit with nothing to describe him. "My name is Ares, god of War."

Patrian was startled. No wonder those two had neglected to say their names back when they had first met. If they were gods.

"Good, good." said the King. "The more gods, the more likely you are to suceed against the dark force."
There was some nervous tittering among the rabbits, and Gurgi cowered some more for the sake of habit.
"As you doubtlessly know, but I shall repeat for the sake of Ye Zealots, some weeks ago there was a large explosion to the East. A large object, like the one you Zealots arrived in, had crashed onto the planet's surface. There was but one survivor, though we know not how many there were originally. The people to the East unwisely aclaimed him as the God of Crashlandings, even though any fool knows the God of Crashlandings has a wart on his nose. Anyway, this imposter started a thriving business to the East, which claimed to produce Fuzzy Bunny Slippers, whatever those are. Many workers went to work for him, until it was learned that the poor souls who went there were merely shot, maimed, and hurled through space."
There was a collective gasp. "Blagagnga!"
"Naturally, after that, the steady stream of 'workers' stopped going there, and the imposter was angry. He threatened to destroy the planet if we did not supply him with more of us to shoot and main and hurl through space. The Easterners did not take him up on it. The claimed due date for the destruction of the planet, in fact, is in five clockrounds."
"So, what you're saying is, you want us all to go and defeat this guy?" asked Propulsion. Mayhaps they Were on Quest, after all.
"Of a certainty." said the King, relaxing in his chair. "Do you undertake this mission, oh godly ones, or is this not the reason you have come down?"
There was a silence, but after thinking about it, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ stepped forth. After all, it couldn't be too much worse then being put on gameshows. "Sire, us Gods and the Zealots shall go forth to the East, and come back with news of the defeat of this evil one, or not at all. But we require a little aid from your scientific field."
"Of course, of course!" said the King, obviously relieved. "I put Patrian here at your disposal. Ask him for anything you need."

Patrian Patrach, High Watermelon of the Kingdom of Padoing, escorted the so called Gods and Zealots out the door. They could be who they claimed to be, of course, but the doubts were many. Still, it couldn't hurt to extend his services.. although the King of Aranselum had no right to order Him about.
"What do you require?" he asked the 'God of Wisdom', with just a hint of malice. High Watermelons should not be ordered about, even if they wanted better titles.
But before the God of Wisdom could answer, that weird Zealot, whose species couldn't quite be identified, spoke up. "But where is great feast of crunchings and munchings that are both presumptious and scrumptious? Oh, poor hungry Gurgi is rolling about, his stomach so empty it hurts with stabbings and jabbings!"
That was true. He had promised a Feast. But you would think they'd have forgotten about that, what with the heavy task of saving the planet. But the Zealots were but mortal, after all.
"Oh, of course. Please follow me." said Patrian, leading the group along some streets until they reached a fairly respectable Keronese restraunt. Even the gods should like Keronese food.
He was right. The 'gods' and 'zealots' partook of the fare without misgivings, and then footed him with the bill. He grumpily paid the waiter, then once outside, resumed his earlier line of inquiry.
"Now, God of Wisdom. What 'aid from our scientific field' do you require?"

"A Spaceship!" Propulsion began, but BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ clamped his hand over the rabbit's mouthm and quickly whispered to him. "Can't you tell they don't know what a spaceship is? Ours and the one of Blagagnga have been described as "large things", not craft of any kind. They may have Hovercrafts, but it is obvious their research has proceeded along some different path then ours."
Propulsion sighed. His main concern was to get away from here, and back to Carrotus. But it seemed like they were stuck here to save the planet.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ turned back to Patrian. "First, please take us to the nearest Radio station."
What did Radio have to do with it, Propulsion wondered. Did BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ want to try to talk to Blagagnga, and try to settle the dispute? That was ridiculous. But he went along behind BæÅü and Patrian, twirling a finger around his ear when BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wasn't looking.

Jim Drab roamed the lush surface of Paradisia, where Blagagnga had last been reported. If the planet were only civilised, he could ask the local yokels if the outlaw had been here, but it was not. Once more, he cursed the luck that had presented Blagagnga with a spaceship. Although luck might not be the word for Blagagnga finding a spaceship, waiting until the pilot got out, then disposing of the poor guy in the usual fashion. Tubelectric was doubtless getting quite crowded with all the dead bodies.
"Chief?"
Jim turned around to the voice of Ime D. Recap, a Plotline Hotline employee they had picked up on Industrius.
"Yes, Ime? Have you found trace of Blagagnga?"
"No.. but why do we persue him for all enternity? Is there any real point? Is it personal?"
"Don't you know?" Jim was startled. Obviously, Plotline Hotline training was rather low these days. What this man was asking was rudimentary company doctrine.
"Well, some time ago, when no posts had been made for quite some time, rather like now, we asked the Plot o' Matic machine what to do, and it had no idea. So I went to the vaulted realms of Mr. Continuity.. but he was dead."
"Who's Mr. Continuity?" asked Ime, interrupting.
Jim stared. "Have you had no training at all? Plotline Hotline is the more down to Carrotus embodiment of Mr. Continuity, the Spirit of Sense throughout the War Tavern story. Nobody's really too clear about what exactly he did before he died, but it must have been something important. Anyway, I went to the all seeing portrait of Mirrow, who showed me the murderer of Mr. Continuity - an idiot called Blagagnga, who appeared to be the friend of a Taverner called Kovu. So we went to the War Tavern, hoping to kill them both, which oddly enough was at the same time as the subsequent invasions of the Cast and Crew of Jurassic Park Something or Other, and ANTI-TUBBS. Anyway, it was all a big misunderstanding, and in order to get revenge for Mr. Continuity, we have been persuing Blagagnga ever since."
"Oh....." said Ime, obviously still kind of confused. "So what will you do when you find him?"
"Why, we'll grind his bones to make our bread, of course!" said Jim. "Now leave me alone. I'm searching for traces of Blagagnga, just like you should be doing."
Ime turned red and rushed off in some opposite direction. Recruits these days.
Suddenly, Jim's pager began beeping. He pulled it out. "Hello?"
"Jim! Get over to the ship! We've recieved a radio signal from some people on the same planet as Blaganga.. it seems he's started an evil empire there, and his evil plans shall come to a head in five days! We've got to get over there at once, and grind his bones to make our bread!"
"Just what I was saying recently." said Jim, on the way back. "Make an announcement on the common band, will you? We don't want to leave anyone behind like we did on Planet Moltemia."
The person he was talking to made a vocal shudder. "No. Poor Ahz Sleep. But it couldn't be helped."

The next day, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Speedy, Tyf, Gurgi, Propulsion, "Ares", "The Dagda", Patrian and the King stood around a large cleared off space, with landing lights strewn around it.
"Look, are you sure this will work?" asked Speedy. "I mean, using a radio on a planet that hasn't discovered space flight yet to contact Plotline Hotline? It just sounds like asking for trouble."
"That's why I'm the God of Wisdom and you're just the God of Stupdity." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, smugly. "Of course it will work. Even if I got the wave length wrong, Plotline Hotline is so sophisticated, they'll probably get the message anyway.
Suddenly, there was a flash of light in the sky, and a spaceship appeared. Patrian and the King pointed at the sky in wonder, and Speedy looked disgruntled, but other then that, things were calm.
The spaceship, which bore anicent ruins upon it that meant "PH", after not too long, was within a distance close enough to make out details, such as the large smiley face painted on front of the ship in case the inhabitants of the planet were hostile. For a few seconds, the ship descended smoothly straight towards the landing area. Then, suddenly, without warning, it continued to descend, smoothly, straight towards the landing area. The only anomalie in the landing of the Plotline Hotline (for such it obviously was) was the fact that the pilot, on accident, sent out the landing ramp Before having completly landing, making them seem much less impressive and a little more incompetant.
"Pssst, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ!" whispered "Ares", who had been thinking about this carefully. "While the natives are buttering up Plotline Hotline and informing them of the task and everything, why don't we all commandeer their ship and fly away?"
"Because it would be ungracious, rude, and because I didn't think of it." snapped BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "Besides, the controls probably aren't just usable by Anyone."
This was probably true, in fact. Ever since some weird and improbable incident a few years ago, Plotline Hotline had been very secure against intruders.

Quite a ways to the East, the seven remaining Nostril Starships touched down next to Blagagnga's 'factory'. They had misjudged their landing spot by a severe amount, and thus had not come down anywhere near the ship of Han Soda.

(sorry for not posting, Unknown... i've gotten assigned Study Hall after school as of late, and my mom searching for that new SUV was very tiring)

Bah! I'm dead.

*thinks of a smart plan*
HAH! Reincarnate me or I, or I shall sue everyone who used my name without my permission. Muwahaahahaha!

"Not that type of 'witty' material!" snapped Disguise, after checking his hair to make sure it wasn't true. "This weird god like thing came down to earth a few days ago and told me that on the day after this one I would run out of witty material to insert as mask messages in textured backgrounds and trees and thingies!"

You know, the first time in my life I ever look at war tavern stuff from ANY forum and I find stuff liek THAT!

HAHAHAHAH!!! ITS HILARIOUS!!!! Unknown Rabbit, thats some of the funniest stuff I've seen, lol

*goes back to his life of Warcraft 3 away from War Taverns*

Well, Newspaz, it's really kind of unclear on if you're dead or not.

(For the benefit of late comers... The NEWSPAZ SAGA!)


First appearance:
"Blagagna was pondering if he should change his ways or not when Newspaz joined the server and blew him into smithereenies on accident. "|Newspaz roasted Blagagna" read the non-existant screen. Newspaz had no idea he had just terminated an exciting member of the current plot, so he ran around shooting at various bushes until someone else joined. Nobody ever did find out who had been hosting."

Later continuation to that:
"Newspaz carefully took aim at an idle rabbit in an unsportsmanship manner, and fired. "|Newspaz roasted An idle rabbit" flashed upon the nonexistant screen, and Newspaz won.
"Yay," said Newspaz, "I won."
"It's true, you did."
"Wha? Who are you?"
"I'm the current author, Newspaz."
"I'm in a story!? Wait until I get ahold of my agent..."
"You were merely included to stop a wandering plot segment, and then you were talked about right now in order to explain so you'd feel better about roasting Blagagna."
"But... but I didn't feel bad about it! It's what you DO in a battle!"
"Heartless wretch."
And so I withdrew, and Newspaz tried to wake up, but nothing happened, so he went about his buisness as usual until the server stopped for no reason."

Brief mention:
"And, somehwere, on a list server far away, Newspaz continued to roast, and roast he did."

A chance for Newspaz's life?:
"Newspaz wandered in a wandering fashion into Samg, where he met up with Darth Maul and now he's toast. Well, I'm still here and he's a rather tasty breakfast meal often asorbed by bi or not by pedual **** sapiens in large quanities during breakfast time. Eventually he'll be reincarnated as Newspaz again, and will set about making Meza2, a version of Mez02A in 3D, which nobody but Newspaz would be able to imagine until it's finished."

Event furthered by that event:
"This is the last Will and Testament of (Insert Newspaz's first name here) "Newspaz" (Insert Newspaz's last name here). All of "Newspaz"'s real estate, money, artifacts, fame and general popularity shall be given to his fatherHigh Chancellor Palpetine, as campaign funds. His pet lava lamp shall be given to the highest bidder. We assure you that "Newspaz" was alive, and in sane body and mind when we he wrote this, and no evil masterminds altered it in ANY WAY to further their schemes."

But then, after the time machine..:
"And Blagagnga Didn't get roasted by Newspaz, who would later be killed by Darth Maul."

So, although he didn't roast Blagagnga, it does sound like he's dead.

However!:
"Chancellor Palpetine, due to not having the funds from Newspaz's modified will, Didn't change around the Plotline Hotline machines so only Sith could use them."

So it's a mystery! IS NEWSPAZ ALIVE OR DEAD? *Ominous music plays*

Wow, good times, mr. Unknown Rabbit. You have quite the knack at this I'd say. Coming along so well along your lines i'll have to stick to the carrotus plot, which seems nice because it can be useless/partially useful material.

- - -

Here ducky, now we'll have something to do . .

Losing the tavern, for everyone not off to find a Home Depot on earth. . . not that they're having a bit of luck, was like losing their babysitter at three years old. They'd like to go off and do whatever they wanted, but what? The door opened at the War Tavern and you could come inside, but no one did a lick of anything outside.
However by this time the outing was over and hunger had taken over all of them. No one kept food around except Admael of course who had cans of spam - but that was out of the question.

"Hey, how about a restaurant trip?" participated Speedy. What a fine idea that was - who has a bar out in the middle of nowhere? Well, the War Tavern, but there were cities all around the residing area. Short vocalizations of areement were all some people could manage. The drunks were just off the wall, because there wsn't one, laying down from hangovers, which they had never experienced before - all they had done before was drink, no breaks or anything. Had anyone been less hungry than the others a vicious argument would have transpired about where to eat and would have taken long enough for the Tavern to be rebuilt. Bartman attempted to move and had no luck. Cobra tried to hoist Bluez ahead at least a few steps but they both collapsed. And Batty Buddy couldn't even stand up. "We can't move, can we call for takeout?" he strained. Admael requested she be able to do a food spell and cook them up something. "Too healthy!" said Bartman. Admael was only full enough to put the thought in his head of being hit with boards. Baeauman had a cell phone, coming out of his laptop, but of course the batteries were dead. This increased the level of dissapointment - they were so hungry they couldn't even get anywhere to eat. "Help me, I'm hungry," was what Rocky's mouth moved to say with wide eyes.

Sadly enough, as late as an hour later no one had hardly said a thing. Sleep was not an option. A few select individuals, such as Batty Buddy had begun to eat the grass. What a novel idea, and it was good hearty food. They were doubled over on all fours eating the grass and clover face first. Although they had been so used to warm food on plates and all sorts of luxury something about this felt right. Ducky hunched over and ate flowers, chewing with quick, short bites. Noses were moving around through the weeds and then the plants were quickly eaten.
"I like it because it's free," stated Ninja. In less than ten minutes the lot of them, even Kitty, had begun to eat the lawn and garden material laid before them. And they realized it was everywhere, and they grew simply happy. Ninja forgot about his sword and others kicked off their shoes and bandanas, and those sort of things tat some of them wore. Nothing but grass, was all they thought about, and clover, and dandelions. Lettuce and greens were always nice before but it tasted fresher, of course, here.

A vehicle flew quickly overhead with some city folk. "So much for that evolution nonsense," said one of them.



(Rocky)

I give thanks to Rocky for, at the least, posting, even though it was on Carrotus and contained a few errors. (Speedy and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ being on the as-of-yet-unnamed planet) Still, it leaves me with the task of replying, working off material from my own post, which incidentally had the same dilemma. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ? Kovu? Anyone?


Jim Drab stepped from the spaceship onto the landing ramp, which had been extended before it should have been. Around the spaceship sat a variety of characters. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, the intergalactic troublemaker was the only one Jim recognized, though he was pretty sure he had seen some of the others before. And a couple of - by Continuity's grave - aliens of an uncharted species! This could be interesting.
Jim turned back into the spaceship, to where Bill Bored was sitting at a control console. "Bill, contact the Multiversal Discovery Orginization, and tell them I have discovered a new race, which I henceforth shall call the "Drabians", after me."
Bill started complying with the order, as Jim Drab continued his descent onto the planet surface. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ came over to him, and took some sort of device off of his throat. By the looks of things, it was an outdated version of a Omni-Corp twoway translator, limited edition throat attachment design.
"Hi, Jim. Look, these aliens think we're all gods and Zealots, so if you could just act as if you're divine warriors or something like that, it would be helpful, all right?"
Jim nodded, trying to picture some of the assorted rabbits as gods, as BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ ran off to one of the two Drabians, calling "I'll explain later" as he went, refitting the translator. Evidently, this wasn't quite the ordinary hunt down.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's brow furrowed. Jim Drab and the rest of Plotline Hotline were probably not going to support the image of Gods and all that. So he should warn him to comply. Considering that they now had the aid of Plotline Hotline, and all their machinery, they might not need the belief of the aliens, but it was probably safest to retain the guise. Besides, it was nice being thought of as a god. So BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ went over to Jim Drab, taking off the translator so the aliens wouldn't understand his side of the conversation, and gave a brief explanation.
Blast, the King was gesturing. With a hurried "I'll explain later", BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ went over to the majesty, putting the translator back on.
"Who are these creatures?" asked the King, gesturing. Darn. He had hoped the aliens could just assume they were divine warriors of some sort or another, and not asking questions. Thinking fast, BæÅü scanned the assembly for inspiration. Ah!
"Sire, this is the army of Ares, the God of War. Like traveller's checks, he don't leave home without them."
The King nodded, wisely, and watched in moderated wonder as most of the rest of Plotline Hotline trooped out, with their Photon Anti-Mistake Beamers at the ready, in case of plot errors. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ overheard Jim whispering "now do something divine", but it was soon forgotten as Plotline Hotline's emerged employees started dancing, and making bizarre light shows. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed, and covered his face in his hands.
Later, after the Plotline Hotline people had taken their bows, and all that, Jim Drab, Gurgi, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and the other rabbits met in an apartment in the "Acid-drop Inn", which had generously been allocated to the gods for the purpose of meeting in it.
"Ok, here's the situation." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, relaxing in a chair built for relaxing in. "The aliens of this planet-"
"Drabians." interjected Jim Drab. "I named them myself, and reported the discovery to the Multiversal Discovery Orginization via an employee."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed. "The Drabians think that Speedy (each name was accompanied with a gesture towards that person), myself, that rabbit with a shamrock in his fur, and that rabbit over there without any distinguishing marks are Gods. I'm the God of Wisdom, Speedy's the God of Stupidity, the shamrock guy is Dagda, an irish god, and that guy is Ares, the Greek god of war. And you're all Ares' army."
Before Jim could interrupt, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ continued; "Gurgi, Tyf and Propulsion are all Zealots. Now, the reason you all were summoned is because Blaganga has set up shop in the East, and will blow up the planet in four "Clockrounds", which I believe means days. Unless they use a 12 hour clock, in which case he'll blow it up in a day and a half. I forgot to ask which."
Tyf stared at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "You never mentioned that!"
Thankfully, Jim Drab broke in. "So basically, you want us to go and defeat Blagagnga, so we can have fufilled our goal, and you can reap the rewards upon this planet."
"Well, not exactly." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. Although a nice idea, they could only keep up this God bit for so long, so it wouldn't work too well. "We want to get off this planet once everything is done with. More specifically, back to Carrotus."
"Whatever." said Jim. Obviously, the matter of safe transport home was less important to him then defeating Blagagnga. "So if there's a possibility the world will blow in a day and a half, we ought to leave right away. Where exactly is Blagagnga?"

Seven hours later, Plotline Hotline, the 'gods', 'zealots', and Patrian Patrach - who had wanted to come along - landed the Plotline Hotline spaceship behind a rockpile near Blagagna's fortress. Patrian had been something of a hinderance during the trip, wanting to look at everything, even such rudimentary objects as the in-flight cocktail peanut.
They were surprised to see seven other starships already nearby the 'factory'. Gurgi yelped, and hid behind a large boulder, muttering about the Nostrils.
Speedy, annoyed because BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had been getting more POVs lately then him, looked at Gurgi. "Those ships belong to the Nostrils?"
"Yes, yes!" whined Gurgi, huddling. "Bad Nostrils sent our ship down with whirlings and twirlings, until it crashed! Oh, just looking at them, poor Gurgi is reminded of noble lords like Han Soda, all dead!"
Speedy, realizing Gurgi could easily say too much in his worried state, turned to Patrian, speaking loudly. "These craft belong to evil enemies of his race. What they are doing here, we know not, but all shall be revealed once the evil one is conquered."
Patrian, not looking as if he really bought it, turned away, and stood surveying the factory which had been claimed to make fuzzy bunny slippers.


Come on, I'm running out of ideas. I need fresh material to work off of.

I maintain that I'm concerned about butchering whatever you had in mind for these characters but it is very true that if the story stops nothing will happen to them. All apologies, in case of inaccuracies which I hit on the ball so well.


"It looks like we should go inside," requested Speedy as they had sat outside the fortress for a few minutes now and time was of the essence. Jim Drab promptly decided the same. Baeauman and 'Ares' realized this would be an excellent time to determine wheter the other ships would be a problem. No 'nostrils' appeared outside the ships, they had parked there and were likely inside. "If it doesn't move, shoot it anyway," mottoed the plain rabbit - and produced a rocket from Jim Drab's pack and loaded it into his gun. He fired at the ship situated most in the middle in hopes that they would all be damaged. If anything was inside, or if they were caught on the way in, armed ships around the area would be unsafe.
When the rocket it the explosion produced was larger than expected because it was rigged inside with an explosive. The other ships were set off and the explosions were right in everyone's face. "Not a good idea stupid!" yelled tyf, followed by a generic anger expression on the face of 'ares'. Jim Drab interjected - "This is where blagagnga's forces find out we're here!." he narrated. This was not assuring to anyone.
For the sake of his being oblivious, Patrian had taken a break to wash his hands and face. The group now had to reenter their guise although he was suspicious. Propulsion took it upon himself to ask the king if he had a floor plan of the factory. Why in fact, being king, he did have a floor plan but of course, not with him. Mr. Jim Drab however had picked up the plan 'while he was there' and gave it to Propulsion. A large structure but with little intricacies, trying to resemble a bunny slipper factory after all. The floor level with them was mostly a large foyer area with offices and the first floor hurling chute in the back. Currently these were occupied with soldiers, jim had penciled in during the flight. They must have seen the explosions and had likely planned the trap themselves. Propulsion alerted the others and they ran for the side of the building. Most of the doors were in the front. Gurgi was forced to look frightened.

"The best way in is through this chute," described Baeauman - 'All the officers will be outside trying to kill us by the time we get back there, then we can get off the first floor,"
A good plan "By jove", clevered Ares. The lot of them climbed through the rocks and sped across the flat ground. For effect the soldiers could be heard ordering and firing out front searching for the invading folks. The side wasn't long and they reached the back in good time - with a slight issue at hand. "Hey, where's the chute??" brought up Speedy as god of stupidity. Through the windows, muffled alarm noises were audible. "Ach, de lieber, the soldiers hafe set off und alarm!" groaned the Dagda. Patrian was confused - "You are scottish, right?" he questioned.
"There's a bug in the matrix," said Tyf. Baeauman considered things and Speedy answered first. "Blagagnga is mr. continuity, he must have messed us up," he decided. Thus the chute was gone and the characters had problems. "Would you believe me when I tell you, you're the queen of my heart?" Gurgi asked Jim Drab.
Baeauman had fabricated his response "The alarms have, shockingly alerted Blagagnga and he's messed up the continuity for us, so he will have time to blow up the planet."
"Shouldn't he just kill us or advance time so it blows up now?" aptly questioned Propulsion. "Hey, it's continuity for a reason," closed Baeauman. "However the window of opportunity is far from bulletproof," said Tyf and gunned at most of the back windows in front of them. "Let's go,"
Gurgi was afraid to jump through but Jim hoisted him up and they jumped through and reached the others. Speedy and Baeauman looked for soldiers left inside, and finding none, motioned to go up the first flight of stairs as noted by the floor map. Gurgi was again scared out of his/its wits. "There will be soldiers!" he clamored. In fact there were, in movie ambush style in fact doubly, the second floor doors all opened rather choreographically and found soldiers coming out of them in droves, some of them rolling, some of them with guns already pointed over their shoulders, and of all sizes, and of course before shooting they all stopped with their guns pointed silently to make the issue at hand very evident. "Well!" said Speedy.
"I command you all to stop!" shriek-ordered Patrian Patrach. "We do not follow your orders!" answered one of them nearby. For lovely more problems soldiers from outside had filed inside due to the commotion, and found the enemy cornered in the middle/end of the flight of stairs. Not knowing what essential suspense was being carried out they began to fire immediately. Patrian was shocked and yelled for the gods to save him. Jim Drab wasn't fast enough on his feet for this one. Baeauman elcited a huge magnetic pulse gun with a likely clever name, which could be determined later by unknown rabbit if necessary.
Speedy's hands soon controlled a laser weapon of similar proportions. Tyf and Gurgi had their share of automatic firepower.
Baeauman's cannon shot a giant magnetic burst towards the front, disrupting the shots and then crashing into the huge metal wall. A second and third shot set on a different parameter dragged the soldiers and their metal armor across towards it and sent them carreening into the walls with them. This produced wuite a bit of shock but the group was still ducking and covering from shots from above. Speedy, Tyf, and Gurgi took care of this. Speedy set the range to maximum and a wide beam took out a space-saving amount of soldiers. After some more barrage the problem had been greatly reduced, especially since the other members had begun to fight also, even Jim Drab, with a slingshot, dreadfully accurate. The alarms remained and Blagagnga was unable to be aware of the downsizing that had occured below. As the dust cleared, for comedy effect bunny slippers lay strewn about with the troops, some even in mildly amusing positions such as hanging off of their feet . .
"Same thing next floor?" asked Patrian.
This would have been true but the third floor according to the map was for storage. Not having been a comfortable planet for the most part Tyf and Gurgi were tempted to take one of many pairs for themselves, but most of the stores were truthfully weapons and negative items to their well-being as such.
Two floors of workers, the first floor being mainly for production, had been enough, with the hurling, maiming function that went on. However with a skilled attack team with the power of plot and also, skill, this was not enough soldier capacity. A ceiling lay above them and it wasn't the roof, this was a tall building from the outside, was up above but without an entrance. Blagagnga had plainly added on to the building for purposes of difficulty. Maybe there were soldiers but possibly empty floors, as mr. continuity had watched how empty pieces of plot can be more of an obstacle than real plot advancements. A consensus was reached that they would have to climb the fortress and see how to get in to the next floor, because it was undescribed on the floor plan. A sigh akin to everyone there exited from the uninteresting rabbit.


(Rocky)
Stuff is good

"Hey..... wait a minute." said Jim Drab, looking at Speedy, after making sure Patrian Patrach was busying himself with some damage costs. "What do you mean Blagagnga is Mr. Continuity? He's the murderer, not the embodiment!"
Speedy looked flustered. "Well, it just popped into my head, and sounded right, so I said it."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed. "Continuity is dead...", which got a general agreement, followed by "That's not what I meant.".
So they continued, however slowly, onward, in the fashion of a group of people slowly continuing onward through the big building of the big bad guy, where all the soliders and stuff know they're there and everything.
The group rounded a corner, and a barrage of gunfire conviniently missed them. Jim hastily withdrew behind the wall, and readied his Plotline Hotline "Never-Miss" slingshot. He loosed one of the red hot stones, which missed, because he hadn't been aiming at anything in paticular. Beside him, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's Creatively Handled Immensely Cool Kill-Enabled Nova Blaster (or CHICKEN Blaster for short) launched a volley of Nova-Powered chickens. I.E., they exploded.
Tyf and Gurgi fired their assorted assortment of sorted automatic weaponry in the general direction the gunfire had come from. Gurgi manned his while shrieking and bouncing and that sort of thing, while Tyf tried to pose for a movie poster.
Speedy launched several magnetic pulses in a row before letting the most likely impossibly built weapon recharge, all the while avoiding Propulsion, who was dancing around looking for a weapon.
'Ares' and 'Dagda' scanned the direction they had come from, in case of that annoying "trapped on all sides" bit movie goers know so well.
The King, who wasn't there in the first place, sat in his throne and lost at chess.
And Patrian Patrach jumped up and down, trying to get all the other people to notice that they were firing at nothing other then a row of champagne bottles, which had shot corks at the party.

Frang Frajine walked by the brick wall with various ads stuck onto it reading things such as "Play the new Infiltrate the Fuzzy Bunny Slipper Factory console game!" and "Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity ACTION FIGURES!" and "Tired of ordinary hovercraft? Then dazzle your friends by riding through the streets in the spacecraft of Ares' Divine Army!". Ever since Patrian Patrach had paid his visit to the Council for determining how to get the public to pay more then previously, ads such as this had sprung up all over Aranselum, no longer quite the paradise it had once been.
Sighing, Frang stuck his hand under the DNA checker of the door, walked through, and entered his room. There was really nothing like hacking a few computers to raise one's spirits.

BoX exited from the J2S Archives, which he had been maliciously sucking into his void, and got back into his postal van before anyone noticed that he had been maliciously sucking J2S Archives into his void. The next mail delivery was to Blagagnga, current residence Unknown Planet. Fortunately, the evils of BoX were evil enough to discern the exact longitude, lattitude and current mood of the reciepent, so the postal van warped into ultradrive and sped through the cosmos.
A few minutes later, BoX landed the van behind the wreckage of what had probably been seven or so starships, and proceeded towards the large building. Using his Evil Evils, BoX located the best path to Blagagnga, which BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's group had overlooked totally, and took it, arriving there three minutes later.
Blagagnga, not noticing the mail carrier was a BoX because he was an idiot, took the mail and opened it. BoX went and sat in a large despression in the floor, even though BoXs can't sit, having fufilled the last delivery for the day. Maybe he could find some nice things to suck into his void here.

The group that you keep hearing about proceeded along a narrow corridor, one at a time. All were very nervous, especially Gurgi, as single file proceedings were very susceptible to attack. As it was, however, no gates fell seperating the travellers, or anything like that.
Soon, they came to a chamber of some sort, with two exits, both with convinient signs above them. One read "Really Secret Path to Inner Chamber, where Blagagnga is most often to be found without any guards whatsoever" in a small font. The other directed travellers with "Planet Destroying Bomb and Shoot/Maim/Hurl combination machine right this way".
"Wow, what a decision..." muttered Jim, looking back and forth.
"I suggest we split up." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, wisely.
"Fine." said Jim, readying his slingshot. "I'm going to seek out Blagagnga."
But before any more decision could be reached, Patrian's sharp ears caught the sound of footsteps. "Not more soldiers!" said Tyf, grumpily. "Where does he get them all?"
"I'm not sure." said Speedy, thinking. "I doubt they're the 'Drabians' to the east, and he was the sole survivor of his crash. I think all these soldiers are more continuity errors."
"Which proves we're getting close." said 'Dagda', not knowing if it was true, but saying it because it sounded believable.
"Nostrils!" shouted Gurgi, suddenly, and they all turned around. Instead of the soldiers expected, seven black robed figures were proceeding up the hallway, silent except for their footsteps, and the rustling of their robes.
There was general pandemonium. At first everyone except Gurgi held their calm, but one of the Nostrils lifted a hand and a wall evaporated, so everyone started running around and screaming. As it was, Jim Drab and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ ran up the path to Blagagnga, Speedy and Propulsion took the corridor leading to the machinery, and the rest (after crashing into a lot of things) were left to hold the Nostrils off until the escaped four had completed their missions.

Jim ran up the corridor, all trace of joviality gone. This was the enemy of his life, the murder of Mr. Continuity, the current bad villain guy.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ followed, also resolutish. Although Blagagnga's defeat was not so important to him, he did want to get off of this planet in Jim Drab's spaceship, and that would really require them getting out of this alive.
Soon, they reached the Inner Chamber, where Blagagnga was sitting around lazily, reading mail, unprotected. A void occupied a small part of the floor, and the pair carefully sidestepped around it.
"Blagagnga." said Jim Drab, dramaticly.
Blagagnga flipped over to the other side of the paper.
"I have come." said Jim, glaring at Blagagnga for being so calm about the whole thing.
Blagagnga combed his hair.
"My name is Jim Drab, head of Plotline Hotline. You killed Mr. Continuity. I have come to kill you."
Blagagnga yawned, and scratched an itch.
"He's an idiot." reminded BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ.
Jim, tired of the pleasentries, aimed his slingshot and fired. A red hot stone sped from the rubber band, and sped straight at Blagagnga. But somehow, inexplicably, no defense mechanisms activated, and the stone simply hit Blagagnga in the face. Poor Blaggy fell over onto the floor.

Speedy and Propulsion reached the end of the ridiculously short corridor. Spotting a guard, Speedy used the magnetic pulse gun to pin him to the wall. While Propulsion disposed of the weapon, Speedy walked over to where the captive was captive. "Now, suppose you tell us how to deactivate the Planet Destroying Bomb, or would you prefer hanging there for another few hours?"
"No!" cried the guard, struggling to get free. "The planet will blow up in a few hours! I don't want to spend the last moments of my life stuck to a wall!"
Propulsion rolled his eyes. "Well, then, tell us how to deactivate it."
The guard twisted. "I can't! If I say it, my life will end instantly! It's an old villain mastermind cliche'!"
The two rabbits looked at eachother. The poor guy was probably right.
"Well, then, can you show us how, without saying it?" asked Speedy, conjolingly.
The guard wordlessly pointed at a paper attached to the wall with detailed instructions on how to shut down Planet Destroying Bombs for fun and profit in one easy step.
"The Planet Destroying Bomb is powered by the Shoot/Maim/Hurl machine." read the paper, upon inspection. "To shut it down, a living person must enter the Hurl input tube, of their own free will, never to return alive."
Speedy gulped.
Propulsion followed suit.
The guard tried to get free from the wall.

Jim Drab looked at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, perplexed. "That was easy."
"Too easy." responded BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, turning on some spooky music in his headphones. "Look out for traps."
Slowly, a wall opened, and a very small hovercraft flew out, Blagagnga seated in it. "I just killed you!" cried Jim, staring from Blagagnga in the hovercraft to Blagagnga on the ground. The former smiled, and pressed a button on the control panel for the hovercraft. The Blagagna laying dead on the floor split in half, revealing intricate gears and whatnot within.
"Classic evil villain cliche'." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, sighing. "The heroes just defeat a robot."
"You're supposed to be an idiot!" cried Jim, still distraught over having only disabled a robot.
The hovercraft produced some neon green letters, reading "I got better."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed again, as the hovercraft opened fire, shooting what looked more like easter eggs then anything else at our earstwhile heroes.
Jim Drab quickly refitted his slingshot, dodging easter eggs, and fired. Sadly, the stone was intercepted by an easter egg.
"BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ! Use your chicken blaster!" said Jim, dodging a pastel assortment of farm products. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ got out said item, but an egg splattered it, effectively wrecking the mechanism. And then there was dead silence, as the easter eggs stopped flying. Also because the Quickie Death (tm) lasers being fired instead didn't make noise.

Propulsion and Speedy read the thingy again, to make sure they had gotten it right. No - it was indeed a sacrifice situation. "Evil Plan Cliche'..." muttered Speedy.
"Well, there's nothing to be done about it." said Propulsion. "For now, let's just go there. Maybe we'll find someone along the way who will volunteer."
Speedy nodded, and they started off to a corridor until they were interrupted by the guard screaming "LET ME LOOSE!". So they did, in return for that he remain silent about the whole thing, which he actually did.
So they started off to the corridor again, which was by some stroke of luck the right one, and came across a large machine with three tubes, reading "Shoot", "Maim" and "Hurl". There was a long pause.
"I will sacrifice myself." said Speedy, gallantly, stepping foward. Although they had asked politely of everyone they had met on the way here if they would like to end their life to save the planet they had been working to destroy, none had agreed.
"Oh, no you will not!" said Propulsion, shoving him aside. "I shall sacrifice myself!"
"In the negative!" cried Speedy, glaring. "I'm the secondary group leader, and it's always the important people who sacrifice themselves."
Propulsion glared back. "Don't you see, though? You're just falling victim to corporate propaganda! I should go. I'm a minor character no one will miss much. But you - you're a real person!"
Speedy sighed. "Propulsion, let's not go through this again. You DO have a name."
"So? I'm still not important enough to have a last name! Let me go, so you and the rest of the planet may live!"
"You think last names are that important? Look at me. Do I have a last name? Does BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ? Does Tyf? Does Gurgi? Last names just make it confusing, as you may get referred to by your first name or your last name, and people won't recognize them as belonging to the same person!"
Propulsion paused, struck by this new thought, and Speedy rushed foward. However, Propulsion managed to catch him by the collar.
"I'm still going though."
"You most certainly are not!"
"I am too! I know all the lines and stuff! 'Tis a far, far better thing I do -"
"That doesn't matter! I am better suited to sacrifice myself!"
"Oh yeah?"
"YEAH!"
And so began the obvious fistfight, with both rabbits rolling around on the ground, managing to avoid all three deadly input tubes, and not attracting attention of any security cameras.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ hid behind a large protecting object that probably hadn't been there before, and was quickly joined by Jim Drab, who was trying to figure out how to make slingstones laser proof.
"Now what?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, noting a section of wall next to him get burned away.
"We've got to defeat him someway, no matter what the cost!" said Jim, cornily. "Elsewise, he shall destroy the planet, and who knows what else! Not to mention, the death of Mr. Continuity shall go unavenged!"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ nodded. He had heard all this before. "So, let's make a plan."
Jim Drab was silent for a moment, other then when he shifted his position from sitting on one foot to the other, so BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had time to think of something.
"How about this. One of us goes out to draw attention, and the other sneaks up from behind and takes him out."
"Great!" said Jim, perking up. Then, "I shall draw the attention!" he said, gallantly.
"Sounds fine to me." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. Jim gave him a hurt look, but jumped out from behind the concealing object anyway. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ waited a moment, then crawled around the room to the back, and waited for Blagagnga's attention to be entirely diverted.
Jim hopped around, amazingly dodging the super quick laser blasts emitted by the Hovercraft every few fractions of a second, as if he had trained to do this all his life. But his attempts were soon foiled, and a vicious blow got him through the stomach. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, throat lumping without any warning, leaped up towards the hovercraft, but bounced off of a forcefield. Blagagnga turned around, and green neon letters reading "Mwahahaha!" filled the air. The laser turrets aimed at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who was laying on the floor, with not quite enough time to get out of the way.

Frang Frajine, having messed up the Tax records for his family, went looking around for new computers to mess up. Here was an interesting one.. "Easter Hovercraft Power System". Frang erased a few crucial files because the name was weird, then went back to looking.

"And now," read the green neon letters pouring from the hovercraft in an old movie syndrome, "I shall kill you as I killed that fool over there. And this planet shall die!"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ grappled for his backpack of whatsit or other, but it was strapped shut, and he didn't have the time to open it.
With a sardonic smile, Blagagnga lowered his finger to the Fire Laser button.. then noticed a small flashing display reading "Power Shut Down". Then the power shut down, and the hovercraft fell straight down into the void of BoX, who was still sitting in the depression of the floor. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, not staying to figure out what had happened, grabbed the still partially breathing body of Jim Drab and rushed out a sidepassage.

Propulsion and Speedy rolled about on the floor, trading blows and demands to sacrifice themselves instead. Still, they somehow noticed when BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ ran it, with the limp body of Jim Drab in his arms. "What are you doing!?" he cried, angrily. "You're supposed to be shutting down the Planet Destroying Bomb!"
Speedy extricated himself from Propulsion, who began to roll around punching himself, not noticing the absence of opponent. "Well, you see, to shut it down, someone must enter the machine, alive, of their own free will. And we're fighting for the chance to go in."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ frowned, and thought for a bit. "Hmmmm... yeah, I can see your point of view.. hey, wait!" He turned to Jim, who was still alive, though rapidly declining. "Jim! Do you want to save the species named after you as your last, dying action?"
"Is... Blagagnga.... dead?" rapsed Jim, struggling to get out each word.
"As far as I can tell." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, looking down.
Jim Drab's face broke into a smile. "Then.... yes."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ lifted the body of the head of Plotline Hotline, and before he could die on them, threw him into the "Hurl" input tube. There was a brief silence, and then;
"Danger! Danger!" cried a voice based alarm system, heard throughout the 'factory'. "The Planet Destroying Bomb has been compromised! As a result, the factory will self destruct in ten minutes. Do not forget to update your Resume'."
The three looked at eachother, then hurried down the passage to the fork where they had left their travelling companions battling the Nostrils.
They reached the place in very little time, and I'll kindly describe the sight that met their eyes. Six of the seven Nostrils were laying on the ground, apparently dead. The seventh was aiming a very dangerous looking weapon at the good guys, who were all huddled together in a huddle. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ , who had opened his backpack as they ran in case of need, grabbed his blaster and a cartridge of Freezer ammo, and shot the Nostril dead on. It froze in mid aim, and after all the congratulating and what not were done, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ directed the construction of a cart to carry the frozen body on. All in all, to spare you the fast running scene you've seen a zillion times in movies, they all made it out of the 'factory' one second before it caved in on itself. The BoX had already left in the postal van, so everyone worth worrying about was taken care of. Panting, 'Ares' turned to BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "What do you want with that Nostril, anyway?"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ smiled. "Once we get home, if the 'Tavern gets rebuilt, we'll need something for Cannibal Feud, right?"

The King was sitting in his chair, playing a nice, leisurely game of Three Dimensional chess, when a messenger burst in. "Your highness! The Gods and their followers have returned, victorious!"
The King quickly rose from his chair, and ran out, not waiting to take his turn. The opponent sat in his chair, waiting paitently. Of course, King boy had already known of the sucess of the mission, as otherwise the planet would have been so many cosmic particles by now, but it he looked foward to congratulating the heroes nonetheless.
Soon, they met in the Main Chamber. The leader of the Divine Army of Ares appeared to be missing, but other then that, they were just as cool as the first time he had met them in this chamber. And now they had saved the planet.
"You are just as cool as the first time I met you in this chamber." said the King, graciously. "And now you have saved the planet."
"Yes, your majesty." said most of the group, except those who said things like "Yeah.". "But BæÅ- the God of Wisdom did most of the work." said that Zealot.. what was its name? Ah yes, Propulsion.
"None the less, you have all doubtless done great deeds of heroism. And due to the recent increase of money in the treasury, we have sufficient funds to bestow upon each of you a reward.... unless, of course, you need none?" he said, almost hopefully. The treasury had been in a sad state for some time, and to lose the recent surplus....
"Sire, we require no reward, having already the knowledge that you and your people are safe." said the God of Wisdom, looking wise. "But now we must take our leave from your planet. If you are again in times of need, we may return, but for now our task is ended."
And suddenly, they had all vanished, except Patrian, who stood dumbfounded, whispering something on the order of "They WERE gods!"

Back on the Plotline Hotline ship, Propulsion was congratulated for his mass teleportation beam, and everyone strapped down, and they all blasted off of the planet of the Drabians. At last they would return to Carrotus, and the wreckage of the War Tavern. Oh well. Nothing was perfect.

From Mythology 101, by Patrian Patrach:
For those of you who do not believe the tales inside this book, I call to your attention the case not too long ago, when the Gods of Wisdom and Stupidity came to earth. I myself witnessed their courageous deeds as they ended the menace of the Fuzzy Bunny Slippers, with their godly weaponry. They brought with them two gods from another world, proving we are not alone in the cosmos, and three Zealots. Once their task was fufilled, the group left our world, soon before the totally unrelated recession that was most likely caused by the large amount of various Holy Wisdom and Stupidty Artifacts being sold on the open market, but many saw and remembered their short time upon the earthly plain. Even now, Aranselum is a thriving industry of fake plastic God of Stupidty Trout, and various other replicas of the things we saw during their visit. Some wonder if the coming of the Gods was a good thing, as it pre-empted such trouble, but I ask you this. Which would you rather have; a bunch of cool merchandise bringing on a brief economic problem, or the end of the world as we know it?
Still others argue that any true gods would not have allowed such to happen so soon after their coming, but those are disbelievers and should be branded as is done with the cattle, and cast out onto the ground, outcast of all places of settlement.
(For more information on the recession, read "The Storm before the Calm" by Patrian Patrach, or the equally renowned "Atomic Economic Bomb" by the same author.)

From "Plotline Hotline - Plot or Rot?" by Stan Dear:
Important Events and People - Heads of Plotline Hotline - Jim Drab:
Jim Drab, possibly the most well known head of Plotline Hotline to this day, was, from all accounts, a cool man. Indeed, one of the few times he showed temper was when he learned of the Death of Mr. Contunity (see It was the Worst of Times - Continuity goes Patooey), at which point he let loose a short anger in the form of "He must be an accomplice! KOVU MUST DIE!". Thanks go to Mirrow's Portrait, current location Continuity's Realm, for this direct quote.
Jim Drab first became head of Plotline Hotline after being promoted from the lower rank of Shoulder Soldier, wherein he was acclaimed as "most likely to suceed" by his fellows. Jim Drab helped win the war over the evil monster "Claimthuhpaig" (Pronounced Claim the Page) by heroicially firing a laser weapon directly at the heart of Claimthuhpaig, which had previously been believed to be certain death. It was - but for the monster, and not for Jim Drab, who was raised to the higher level of Head of Plotline Hotline, causing many of his friends to win bets with their other friends.
Jim Drab did a good job of running Plotline Hotline, keeping it exciting for all, although at times a little too exciting, such as when they invaded the War Tavern itself. (See Important Events and People - The Big Misunderstanding)
Jim Drab's final acts, from what we can tell from the accounts of witnesses were both vastly heroic. First, he distracted Blagagnga, the murderer of Mr. Continuity long enough for him to be defeated, and he then saved an entire civilized planet as his dying action. The planet in question was later named after him - "Jimdrabia". (See Plotline Hotline's Influence - Planets)
Jim Drab was a good person, and all miss him when they are not too busy doing something else.

From "Lord of the Things: Fellowhip of the Thing", by Photo:
Randalf stirred in surprise, and Airyhorn looked curiously at him. "What is the matter, Randalf?"
"I felt a tremor in the force." said Randalf, cryptically.
Logoless looked across the fire, worried. "As if millions have cried out in anguish?"
"No, it is good news." said the Wizard, blowing a smoke ring. "Soupson has suffered a great loss today. The Nostrils, by what means I know not, are dead."
"PARTY!" screamed Maybe, quickly echoed by Pigeon, so the fellowship danced around the fireside all night, singing.

From "Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back?" by various people:
The Plotline Hotline spaceship sped silently through uncharted regions of space, and charted regions of space, and heavily copyrighted by other companies regions of space, until it reached a probably copyrighted region of space, the one which Carrotus resided in. Along the way, they did not meet up with any difficulty, other then almost crashing into a flowerpot and a hapless sperm whale that were flying through space for some reason....
"I'm bored." said Tyf, leaving no room for argument. Sadly, no one was around, so there wouldn't have been argument even if there was room for it. So she went looking for someone else to burden with her being bored.
The first person Tyf found was Bill Bored, but after learning his name, she hurried away, deciding Bill's problem was of a greater depth. Though hers was not as wide as a castle wall, nor as deep as a well, t'was enough, and did serve to bore her.
Speedy looked up from writing the first entry to his diary (after deciding against calling it a log) as Tyf walked in, looking dejected. "I'm bored." she informed him, leaving no room for argument.
There was a silence.
"You're supposed to help me out of it." she informed him.
Speedy unstuck himself from the wall. "Try not to say simple facts here." he told her, nervously. "The pilot tells me we're passing through the Literal Zone, so when you left no room for argument, there was no room for anything else either, causing me to get stuck to the wall."
Tyf thought about this for a minute, in which time Speedy got tired of waiting and returned to the diary, before saying "Well, let's not talk then." So they didn't.
Not too long afterwards, they left the Literal Zone, and it was open eyes that saw the green and orange planet of Carrotus rising up before the spaceship. This was a kind of unpleasant experiance to all the travellers who were not BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ or Plotline Hotline employees, as it brought back bad memories, but the ship landed smoothly this time.
"We're home!" cried most everyone, though not all using the same wording, except Gurgi, whose home it wasn't.
So the Plotline Hotline peeps went their way, back to the realm of Plotline Hotline, wherever that was, and the 'Taverners set a course for where the Tavern used to be, and Gurgi accidentally wandered into a dimensional warp to the land of Prydain.


"Look!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "The rilly big crater!"
This brought back more bad memories to all of them but BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, as the last time the rest had seen that crater, they were being landed on by the War Tavern.
"Where is everyone?" asked Propulsion, in trepidation. He was right. No creatures were bustling about the crater, though that made sense, as without the War Tavern astride it, there was little no point to bustling about it.
"Doubtless off on a quest to rebuilt the War-" Speedy was beginning, when Ducky hopped up to them, on all fours, eating the grass. The party stared.
"Ducky?" asked Tyf of Ducky, who paid no heed and continued munching low lying plant life. The rest looked at eachother, and followed Ducky, who was hopping off in some other direction. "She seems to have been returned to the state of our anicent ancestors!" said the rabbit with an irish accent, in alarm, meeting with agreement.
Soon, they chanced upon another scary sight. "Look!" cried the rabbit without something to make him different. "There's Dethman's sword, laying in the grass!"
"And BB's backpack and sunglasses!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, worried. "Something terrible must have happened here."
And as they stared around, Ducky hopped off into an oversize burrow.

Kovu and Slayer continued their circular walk through the never changing corridor, with Slayer interrogating Kovu every few minutes.
"Kovu, how long have we been walking in this corridor?"
"Oh, a day or two, I should say."
"Well, why haven't all your servants and whatnot come and found us?"
"Doubtless they can not find the entrance to this hallway."
"But when you pulled me through it, it looked like a normal doorway!"
"Yes, but it sealed itself. Now it's the same type of door as the one out of this hallway."
"Do they have any matches?"
"Possibly."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
Their path did not deviate from the original.
"Kovu?"
"Yes?"
"Why aren't we rolling about on the ground in agony from hunger and thirst?"
"All of my evil places are like that. They replenish your food and drink without any manual work on your part. Great for fast paced stories where the author can't be bothered to write about them eating."
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"We haven't slept, either. Another feature of your evil place?"
"Not really. I already told you about this one."
"You did? When?"
"Well, let's just say I'd advise not going cold turkey on coffee after this."
"I'm drinking large quanities of coffee without even noticing?"
"More or less."
"Yuck."
"Yeah."
Walking proceeded to happen.
"Kovu?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are we both so calm about this entire thing, anyway?"

There, i thought something had to come between their leaving and their returning to carrotus. Good thing I waited.

The plants and grass around Baeauman's feet were all chewed to the smallest bit and he felt unpleasant. "How can they have eaten what we step on every day?" he asked concerned. Few of them were actually concerned, especially those who hadn't been mentioned until the past excursion. "I'm still bored," moaned Tyf. "Maybe they all got bored," she questioned. However no one was sure if everyone was around. They only saw ducky and they were unsure otherwise about why things were lying about.
Course of reasoning took them to deciding to see what was in the hole.
"Yeah, this is a rabbit hole," stated Speedy. "Now who's the one stating the obvious," clamored Tyf from behind them. "Unacceptable, I mean a real rabbit hole," returned Speedy. "I would say we are not real rabbits," he ended.
It was a long passage tilting into the ground and badly made. On the way down it split several times into similar tunnels. Underneath the ground it was naturally quiet, however they had expected to hear at least Ducky. They fit into the tunnels relatively well but had to crouch and were getting dirt all over their heads. The simple rabbit was trying not to duck and its head was smeared completely brown by the dirt and seeds and plant matter all over. After a bit the reached the inhabitants, of course the tavern-goers, huddled around like the rabbits they were, some digging, others moving around, but most of them slacking like they always had.
"Eep. They're all here, I guess," exclaimed Speedy, looking around at the overgrown-looking rabbits sprawled about. "Hey what's the deal guys? You call this a new war tavern?"
Little visual response was made to him, and a lot of nose movement was going on. "Do you suppose Kovu did this?" announced Baeauman to the still civilized portion. "No, this is just dumb, Kovu is more towards evil," answered the dirtheaded fellow. Tyf was just not enjoying the situation and decided to enjoy some beer. As the faint smell moved around the large open area several of the former bar flies, who had been unable to travel further into the complex, perked up and shot themselves at tyf's beer can at a strong imapct, shattering it and spreading the beer over the immediate walls. Tyf was shellshocked for the moment.
They were on the dirt walls, back to normal however this was not the word choice that came to anyone's mind. Root beer apparently. Tyf planned on being furious but realized the plot had moved along again. A clear understanding may have arisen.
"Looks like it isn't Kovu," began Baeauman as the wall drinkers were heard talking and were sort of on two feet and more active. "They're just snapped into some weird state of mind," he concluded. The dirt headed fellow was slighted, a bit, because his opinion was earlier ignored, and tyf began to drift towards being bored again. "Will beer restore all of them??" she wondered in spoken word. The consensus was no, it was only these drunks who lived and breathed it. Ducky was looking blankly at them from the side of the room structure.
'Let's try to set her back on her feet," said Speedy. "She can tell us what happened." The irishman of sorts, walked over to her and cuffed her in the side of the head. A badly constructed idea as ducky turned around and kicked him with her two feet, sending him crashing into the side wall and as neccessary, some dirt fell down around him and he had the stars around his head. An embarrasing conclusion in all respects, but Tyf wasn't afraid to try something else. She pulled out one of her guns and shot one right at the usually nimble ducky who unluckily was left with smoke rising off her fur as she ran like a bullet down the back tunnels with everyone else. Tyf was not feeling comfortable, due to the large looming mass of anger she found behind her of a sudden. "Well let's go find them," she said without looking back to see their contorted faces of displeasure.
They hadn't passed much further into the burrow when a second room was found, with more of them. Immediately the rabbits got on their feet and bean to hurry for the exit holes again but Speedy moved quickly and held Ducky down, which was not particularly easy. The rest of the group moved in and helped, but htey were unsure what to do with her. The irish rabbit was jostled about in the mess and a relatively old sandwich found its way out of his pack. Ducky managed to get them all off and began to eat, and then became aware of her situation. Certainly confused she was to see no one but the group of them who had been out in space, last she checked, and for that matter in the cold underground hole with her eyes set on a dirty sandwich.
"Hey, are you guys back so soon?" she questioned. "Yeah, mhm, yes," rushed Baeauman. "What's going on?" he asked her in rapid succession. She collected herself for a moment and realized the problem. "We had no food and we're all procrastinating, but we were hungry out of our minds. Hunger is a powerful emotion, so we started to eat grass and it all went downhill and under the ground from there," was the explanation. It added up and seemed why slightly logical in the progression of things judging by other things these tavern folks had done lately. Throughout her converstaion ducky had managed to eat the sandwich discreetly.
'I suppose more real food might revert the rest of them, but there is an undocumented number of them!" said the irishman. "I'm all out of pocket sandwiches." "The only way to get enough real food back is to get the tavern back! And at that point just the sight of the tavern should remind them where they've spent most every waking moment." argued Baeauman.
"But they're all under the influence." worried Ducky.
"Hey, don't worry, you just come with us and we can do it ourselves!" quickly joined the nondescript dirt one. He was generally concerned that he would be ignored after the last trip.
'We can do it again, really," he prodded. No one discussed disagreeing. They had accomplished something rather out there already, rebuilding something would be easy. "No going to earth!" yelled Speedy. "There must be hardware stores here too, without the intergalactic journey." he reminded.
"So we're going to do it ourselves? Let's hope there's a book," said Ducky. 'Yeah, let's, and let's be off," suggested the irishman.

(Rocky)

So the few 'Taverners who had not resorted to the mindset of more earthian rabbits left the rabbit hole, all crawling except one, who got dirt on his head so he'd have something to distinguish him at last. Ducky had apparently forgotten that she had wanted to go to earth, and Derby was too busy content editing lettuce and other rabbit food to encourage the notion, so they set off along Carrotus in search of something like a hardware store.

The group was walking along, singing whatever came to mind, each drowning out all the others, until someone appeared before them.
"Bob!" cried Ducky, knowing about such things. And indeed, it was Bob, the big Mystical Voice, recently released from the mental hospital for corn juice fanatics.
"BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ!" cried Bob, angrily, drawing out a corn juice blaster that the mental hospital peeps had missed. "I have not forgotten the whacking you gave me when I was employed at FedEX! Now you die!"
But BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wrestled the corn juice blaster from Bob's hand, so they fell to the ground, hitting eachother. "Go on!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, avoiding a blow. "I'll meet you at Bree or somewhere!"
Ducky bounced off, followed by the others, Speedy occasionally looking back to see if one or the other of the contestants had gotten the upper hand yet, or at least the corn juice blaster.

It was not until they had left that BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ realized he was acting in a manner quite contrary to usual, so he reached into his uber-backpack with a free paw, and wrestled loose a Mystical Voice Pulverizer (Or MVP for short) thingie, which he used to temporarily pulverize Bob for long enough so that he might get away. Having gotten slightly muddled during the fight, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ walked off in the wrong direction, after confiscating the corn juice blaster for further inspection when he had the time.
Soon, he came upon a large Food Mart, which he thought might be able to give directions to a hardware store, so he entered through the automatic doors which failed to open when he went up to them, and had to be shoved open using great strength and whatnot.
The first sight inside the Food Mart to meet BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's eye was a large display of Happy Puppy Pickle Co. Pickle Boxes, all with the added bonus of "an inflatable genuine limo' in specially marked boxes, see inside for details, no purchase necessary, do not open unless you've paid for it.
So BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, open to experimentation, bought ten of the boxes, which still was cheaper then buying a limo' normally. After opening the first nine and discarding the contents, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ discovered the inflatable genuine limo' promised, inflated it, and drove off in search of a hardware store.

The rest of the party wasn't having too much luck. A large carrot had fallen across the main road, causing them to take a detour through a paticularly muddy spot, which did nothing to brighten their spirits, which weren't dampened anyway.
Ducky was conversing with the rest of them, having not been on the adventure to the unknown planet (which would later be known as Jimdrabia). "So you're saying you went to Earth, but you didn't pick up any materials for a new War Tavern?"
"Well, yes." said Propulsion, wishing he had a tie to finger. "But even if we had, it wouldn't have done any good, as our ship crashed. We barely got out as it is, not having time to lug anything with us, like Ducky's..... cherry.......... table............."
Propulsion cowered as Ducky glared at him. "You had my Cherry Table with you, and you didn't save it?!"
"Well, erm, yes... but you know, we weren't even anywhere near where it was stored when we had to go.."
"I must have that table back!" said Ducky, a fire in her eyes. "After this is over, we return to that planet!"
The rest did not share Ducky's enthusiasm at all, having really little or no interesting on going back there. Fortunately for them, however, further conversation was cut short as BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ drove up in his shiny new inflated limo', and they all got in and drove off into a conviniently placed sunset.

"You know..." said the irish rabbit, having just thought, "I just thought of something. How are we going to pay for the new War Tavern?"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ turned from the inflated steering wheel, safe because they were on a straightaway. "Well, we have about 3,000. carrotian currency, that the Speedy Scrap Co. Otters paid us for the scrap of the previous War Tavern, including Ducky's...." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wisely stoppped talking, as Ducky was looking less then happy in the back seat.
"There's no way we're going to pay for the entire War Tavern with 3,000.00, though!" said the irish rabbit. "What are we doing out here then?"
"Simple." grinned BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, grinning. "We use this." And he pulled out a small die, half the sides blue, the other half red.
"A chance cube!" gasped Ducky, gasping. "You mean to say you're going to gamble 3,000 carrotian currency into the new War Tavern?"
"Well, uhhh, something like that, yeah."

"Kovu?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm really getting tired of this corridor."
"Such is life."
"Yeah, but still. If we went in the other direction, wouldn't the decor seem kind of different?"
"Possibly."
"Well, let's try that then."
So they turned around, and continued walking, only now the decor seemed kind of different.
"Kovu?"
"What's on your mind now?"
"What's that weird thing?"
"Where?"
Slayer pointed, and Kovu bounded over. "It's the secret door! Slayer, you are a timesaver!"
So Kovu opened it with the match, and they went through, and found the army still waiting to be reviewed.
"Hmmmm...." said Slayer, holding his chin. "Nice weapon placement and eyecandy, but the gameplay looks a little low. I'll give them a 8.0."
"No, you fool!" cried Kovu, thwapping him. "That's not what it means to review the army! We're supposed to look for soldiers out of line and whatnot."
So they did, and the review was moderately sucessful, so they went back (not through the circular hallway) to Kovu's main evil chamber, which had a nice screen thingy showing the progress and current whereabouts of BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Ducky, Propulsion, Speedy, Tyf, the rabbit with dirt on his head, and the irish rabbit.
"They appear to be in an Inflated Limo'." said Slayer, intelligently.
"Yes...." said Kovu, musingly, and turned to the aptly named General Genuflecter. "General Genuflecter, I have determined a course of action."
The general looked up, surprised to see Kovu and Slayer returned after a day or two.
"Launch the Sharp Pin grenade!"

Rolling and puttering along in the new car they tried to roll down the windows to look for a store. "Oh come on, no inflatable radio" muttered Speedy who was in the front seat after pulling rank on the others. "Hey it's out of a pickle box, Mr. greedy!" injected dejected Baeauman. "And a limousine, you can't even start complaining about that," he professed to Speedy. The thought of this sunk in and Speedy decided it was okay. Not a fast vehicle but comfortable, after all they were basically riding on air. "Why not come try the inflatable hot tub or bowling alley?" yelled Ducky from the second seat aimed to upset. Speedy was hit on target and was rather unhappy.
On the move still, past theaters and movie stores, furniture stores, garden centers, or outdoor restaurants, and apartments, they found themselves in a suburb. "Hey how do we get gas in this?" asked the dirt rabbit. Another stupid inflatable car question, at the expense of Baeauman. In the back seat he had in fact found a complementary warm towel and was washing up when Baeauman stopped him. "Hey, don't do that, we need that!" he shouted, of course in reference to the mud, not the towel. "What about these furniture stores, couldn't we get some things for the Tavern?" questioned Tyf. Baeauman stopped the car.
Watching the screen Kovu and Slayer were delighted at the sight. 'They stopped. Let's do it," suggested Slayer.
"No, we are going to use the chance cube," answered Speedy, back to Tyf. "What, I thought we were going to do that like ten minutes ago?" she groaned. It was true, Speedy had inadvertantly distracted Baeauman with his radio comment. It had all gone downhill from there. "Oh, you. Cmon let's do it and get back!" she exclaimed. "Oh, me," said Speedy to himself possibly. "Let's do it Baeauman."
"Now would be a prime time to shoot the grenade, while they are stopped!" ordered Kovu to General. In haste, General Genuflect approached a small cannon in the room and bent down, not in fact genuflecting but however similar in manner, to the sights and placed the stopped limousine in them. (I certainly missed exactly where kovu and them are but I'm assuming they can hit the ground on carrotus) He certainly fired and the grenade sped towards the pavement.
Baeauman prepared to use his chance cube to rapidly get them a new War Tavern for under ten thousand, however he was cut short by the grenade exploding and the large number of pins only shortly lodging themsleves in the limousine side. They were all shocked by the bang and the further bang of their car busting up all over. "Oh shoot," yelled the irish one. Physics in their world had the typical nasty habit of doing that thing to popped inflatables such as balloons and inner tubes - the car gained a burst of air flowing outward from the back and the whole thing immediately lifted off in a fast, mad spiral with the seven of them clinging to the body. 'I hate this," growled Baeauman, "and I hate Kovu! Hate hate hate!" he yelled. They watched the buildings go from right sight up to upside down in quick successions and flew farther away. When they had left the ground they saw the explosion behind them and knew it was foul play, Baeauman had pointed out the culprit and they were all discouraged. Kovu and Slayer could have stranded them in space but decided to ruin their limo and their get-building-quick scheme instead.
To top things off Baeauman had appropriately yet unfortunately lost control of the chance cube and it lay on the pavement passed over by cars and those sort of things. Kovu had his eye on it and read plans over in his mind of how it could be in his hands quite rapidly. There were a lot of creative options being a villain. However he decided on "Let's just pick it up" for budget and time's sake knowing that once they landed the group could pick up a new limo and reclaim it. "Genuflector, man the cannon once more." detailed Kovu. Genuflector had in fact not moved an inch. "Fire this," he demanded, pointing at one of the foot soldiers. "You're a paratropper now son," said Kovu to the chosen who looked ill at ease until the para part. The soldier strapped on the pack and was packed into the thin cannon shortly. With a bang he was hurtling toward the ground, a bit smoky with no rich hickory flavor at all, but fully concious and ready to do the deed.
His hands were ready to pull the rip cord. "If pieces of luggage and food scraps come out I've had it," prattled the soldier at about one word per three feet. In fact the parachute opened and he floated to the ground immediately picking up the cube.
"Mission succeeded!" he said through the communicator.
Kocu and Slayer didn't need confirmation, watching him on the screen. What things they could do with the chance cube. They had always wanted to do a 'in the wrong hands' villain scheme. However the point came up that the trooper could not be easily recovered. They quickly decided to shoot another outfitted with a nice bungee rope. He was placed into the cannon and fired up and out. He neared the ground very rapidly but realized the rope was too short. Kovu shouted "Throw him the cube!" to the on foot soldier. The ground agent pitched the cube with good form up to the other soldier, ready to snap back to where he came. A good catch too, but an unpleasant reentry backwards jammed into the cannon. The chance cube rattled out of the cannon out of the soldier's hand and was picked up by Kovu with Slayer at side.
"What luck," he said in a finishing tone with a horridly menacing face to look at.

(Rocky)

Little did they know that it had been Kovu all along who had been stealing the Rice Krispies from the pantry.

*Black

Slayer examined the Chance Cube now resting in the paw of Kovu with curiosity. "So now that we've got it, what does it do?"
Kovu looked baffled for a moment. While they had been scheming to aquire it, what a prize it had seemed. But now, it was just another die with three red sides and three blue ones. It was less useful then a penny, really, because with pennies not only can you get a random outcome out of two possible ones, it can also be used to buy things.
".....roll it?" he asked, and dropped it on the floor, whereon it preceded to roll.

The muddy rabbit covered his face in his paws, careful not to brush off any of the mud on accident. He had always hated both heights and merry-go-rounds, and now he was in a flying car going around in circles. "Stop the car, I want to get off!" he quivered, but there was nothing they could do to stop it. Until the air wore out, the car would continue to shoot around the sky madly.
"See, now, if we had an inflatable radio, we could listen to music to calm our nerves!" complained Speedy, as the inflatable limo' was no longer something to be condescending to.
"So true.." said Ducky mournfully, and began humming "My Life" to sooth everyone, with mixed results.
"You would think either the limo' would have run out of air, or we'd have hit something, by now." said Propulsion, as the air ran out, causing them to hit something.
"Yes, you would." said Speedy, intelligently. "Say, what is this we've crashed into?"
"Well..." said Tyf, examining it, "it looks like an enormous needle, stuck into the sky."
"Gee," said the muddy rabbit, sarcastically, "I didn't know it was sick." But the reason for the needle began clear as it started going downwards, though not tilting to the side and falling over or anything.
"ULTRA NURSE(tm and patent pending)!" cried the irish rabbit, a regular suscriber to her comic. "You and your spiffy extend-o-needle have saved us from running out of air and falling to the ground in a sickening splat!"
"Yes, tis I." said ULTRA NURSE, shrinking the needle enough that it jumped back into her weird outfit. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I left Cutey Pie battling ULTRA-PATIENT all alone, and it could be dangerous."
And with a flurry of bandages, she was gone, leaving the travellers to climb out of the wrecked Limo'.
"Well.. now what do we do?" asked Ducky, avoiding a small patch of mud. "Do we get another one, or continue the search for the hardware store on foot?"
"Let's continue on foot, but get another one if the oppurtunity presents itself." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, quite fairly. So they continued on foot, planning to get another inflatable limo' if the oppurtunity would kindly present itself.

"Your Kovuness!" cried Major Annoyance, from a readout reading what he was about to say, "Reliable sources show that there is a hardware store very close to the travellers you seek to divert!"
Kovu turned to the Major Annoyance, enraged. "Well, what are you waiting for? We must distract them, and what is better suited to that job then the Pickle Barrage(tm and patent depending)!?"
"Yes sir." said Annoyance, and pressed a button on a nearby thingy, which activated the before spoken of distracter.
Kovu and Slayer went over to a large wide screen color TV showing the hardware store seekers, so that they might see the effects.
Soon, a large bomber plane flew overhead, blocking out the sun, and opened the cargo hatch. Hundreds of Pickles, Thousands of Pickles, Millions and Billions and Trillions of Pickles fell down from the plane upon the startled group, who promptly began slipping and sliding all over the place, until they all slid right into the open door of "Mom and Pop's Hardware Store", which was oddly free of pickles on the inside.
"Curses!" intoned Kovu, then glared at Slayer for not following suit. "Again my plans to hinder them fail!"
"Maybe it's an omen." said Slayer, brightly, following Kovu pacing around the room. "It means that you are forever destined to be defeated by them."
"What? Never!" cried Kovu, whirling around. "Enough of these minor weapons! I want my entire eViL aRmY(tm and whatnot) down there and destroying that hardware store negative three hours from now!"
"Gee...." said Slayer, mulling this over in his head, and landing on the last bit. "You sure ask a lot from your soldiers."

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ looked around him, dazed. They had been walking along, and everything had gone dark, and now they were inside.. a hardware store! Deciding the end justified the means, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sprang to his feet, and began looking for bargains.
Ducky painfully got to her feet. She had slid into a hard buzz saw, and her head hurt. Say, where were they, that there were buzz saws to slide into, anyway? Hmmm... boards, drills, nails, more boards.. it certainly looked like a hardware store. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was rooting around in a box of nails, probably to find bent ones (which usually went cheaper), but the rest were still getting their bearings.
Extricating herself from a corner, Ducky began exploring the store.
It had all the appearance of an ordinary hardware store, and if you've never been to one, I'm not about to start describing it. Indeed, there was even someone behind the counter, polishing a thumbtack with horse liniment.
"Excuse me.." said Ducky to the someone, who turned his head from the thumbtack to her, "what place is this?"
"This is Mom and Pop's hardware store." said the someone, reasonably jovially. "And I'm Pop. But all my friends call me.." he paused, as if searching his memory. "..Horace van Deloris van Carthorris van Strwawtz, van Pygmy van Ziggy van Chickadee van Grouch."
"Can I just call you Pop?" asked Ducky, after thinking for a moment.
"Sure." laughed Pop, still jovial. "I'd much appreciate it if you do, as I get annoyed every time they call me that other name."
"Oh...." said Ducky, kind of confused. "Anyway, we came here with a reason. How much would it cost to buy enough materials to reconstruct a Tavern of War?"
"Hmmmm.... not a common request.. gimme a moment to make an estimate." So Ducky stood there, waiting, and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ scavenged around, and the rest of the group kind of stood there, talking, and doing their best not to trip on anything.
"Ah, ok." said Pop, returning from behind the counter, as he had left it without mention. "It should take about 3,000 Carrrotian Currency."
"Really?" said Ducky, bouncing a bit. "That's just what we have!"
"Wait.." said Pop, furrowing his brow. "That's not right. I left out a digit. It should take about 30,000 Carrotian Currency."
Ducky's face fell, but then a rain of phaser bullets flew through the door, and that conversation was forgotten.

Bleh.. sudden mental block.

Following suit, the shots rained all through the aisles, the shock of which caused Baeauman to drop his nails everywhere and rejoin the rest of them, who were unfortunately all spreading out and running for cover. He met up with Ducky in the two by four aisle as boards tilted everywhere. "It's Kovu's eViL aRmY, trademark. He must really want us stopped." he said to her in a hurried way. "Or maybe dead," worried Ducky. However it appeared to them, as true as it was, that the army was shooting at the store, not their selves.
Pop naturally was out of his mind rushing all over and trying to put things together. The eViL aRmY was entering the store row by row, taking their time as there was no clear defensinve problems awaiting them. Boards and machinery were on fire all over and the sprinklers from the high and unceilinged roof had been turned on. Pop was near the brush trimmers, which were creating a large fire, so he ran to Ducky and Baeauman to sort things out while the rest of them hid. "What is honestly going on, you two? The whole place is already in ruins," he yelled at them. His stood dirtied and slightly wet before them looking very disorderly and worhty of shame. "Well this is Kovu's eViL aRmY, in fact, who have apparently come to destroy your store as a general mishap for the lot of us." answered Baeauman, Ducky consenting alongside him. "We need to rebuild our tavern, that's where we've lived for years somehow. Also it's a good plot device. As a villain Kovu is hellbent on stopping us with his what you might call array of tricks." concluded Baeauman.
"Would you mind stopping them?" Pop asked them as they began to move down the aisle, as the eViL aRmY was advancing and may have hit them accidently. "Only if you give us the materials for the three thousand," determined Baeauman. Ducky looked apalled, but understood. Pop also looked apalled. And for the record so did Kovu, upon hearing this, and decided to advance the operation.
"That is a dirty negociation, buster, but anything to save my store. Not that I think you can do that yet," discussed Pop, "but you seem convincing." Baeauman was happy for the moment and extracted his CHICKEN gun. Tyf caught this as she moved past the aisle and knew what was going on. She pulled out two fast automatic guns, and as necessary, the reaction continued with Speedy's range laser and all that trash. "If this worked against Blagagnga and his army, it should work here," explained Baeauman, and he braced himself and fired a huge 'chicken' blast the rammifications of which he didn't remember, until the nails and workbench filler shot past him. The eViL aRmY was recieving their new plan for faster destruction when the side of them was hit with the blast. Not wearing armor and being evil it did little, but the items from inside the store were uncomfortable. Speedy began to shoot at them but the majority of the eViL aRmY was now ordered to take the lot of them out, now that they were getting 'rambunctious'. Kovu had meant to have them use explosives now, but shifted his battle plan now that Baeauman and the others initiated a fight sequence.
One of the soldiers had been nailed with in fact a petroleum tank, which Slayer noticed as Kovu had a good laugh over the powerful eViL aRmY. "There must be more," pointed out Slayer, pointing at the tank. Simple enough, decided Kovu.
"You have anything indestructible in here?" asked the dirty bunny, in hopes of a shield. "No, all highly flammible, actually," answered Pop. What a downer. The aRmY as it would seem advanced now quickly past them and into the store shooting everywhere and knocking over whole shelves full of hardware. Pop moaned and groaned due to his intense discomfort and discouragement at his store being ruined. Soon enough that didn't matter, because the eViL aRmY had found the petroleum tanks and gas stores in the back. They were running out in their respective droves. They had set grenades, mines, time bombs, dynamite, further gasoline cans, and round cartoon bombs around the site and wanted not to stick around. "Eeep" voiced Ducky as she saw the array arrangement behind her. Pop should have passed out cold but what additional issues that would have caused. They ran out of the store shocked and distressed on many levels as the single level of store was ready to blow. "Looks like we made it out in time," said the irish one.
This was all true, and they may have made it out exactly just in time, but we'll leave that up to mr. next writer.

(Rocky)
Stuff is good

"You didn't stop them!" Pop was screaming, tearing his hair and throwing it at them. "What Mom will say, after she gets back from shopping for ultra indestructible shielding materials that double as explosive deactivators, I don't know!"
"Ultra indestructible shielding materials... that double as explosive deactivators?" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, slowly. "I have some of those in my backpack.." he was beginning, when he realized that they were exactly what they could have used. So did Pop, apparently, as he started beating on BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ with both fists, all joviality forgotten in the face of disaster.
"Hey, guys, look." said Tyf, pointing at the store. "I think it's about to blow." she added, as the store blew up. Pop burst into tears and fell sobbing to the ground, while the 'Taverners surveyed the wreckage with distaste. Sadly, the eViL aRmY had apparently gotten out of the store through the back exit, as they seemed relatively intact in their numbers, and were heading towards the group.
"This isn't good." observed Speedy.
"True." said the muddy rabbit, shaking his head. "Shall we run?"
"By all means."
"After you."
And so they all ran away from the eViL aRmY, who were still in the process of heading towards the group.
After a little while, the 'Taverners (and Pop) came to a large rocky cliff face, which extended far in every direction, with a tunnel etched out in it.
"Let's go in the tunnel." said Propulsion, wisely, so they did. Unfortunately, after not too long, the tunnel ended abruptly, and the eViL aRmY had caught them.
"This tunnel is narrow enough, I think we can make a stand." said Speedy, in a tone that oozed courage. So they got into their positions, with their weapons that hadn't quite worked before, except Pop, who was huddled mournfully in a corner.
"Fire one!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and the weapons all fired with a resounding "Boop". An exploding chicken got a lead soldier in the face, and he fell over from the impact. The soldiers behind him tripped over his prostrate body, which was then repeated with the soldiers behind, until the entire army was tipped over like dominos.
The magnetic pulse gun began firing reverse pulses, and all the metal equipment of the eViL aRmY started straining to get off with enough force that some of the soldiers were lifted up into the air, which sadly allowed the soldiers that had previously been underneath them to get up.
The automatic weaponry had much less effect, as Kovu had equipped his troops with something that made it have much less effect, for some reason.
"Fire two!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. More chickens and magnetic pulses fired, and the army got a bit immobilized.
"This is ridiculous!" cried one of the commanding officers, deciding it was ridiculous. "This small band can not possibly defeat us! On with the gas masks!"
And so, the army suddenly had gas masks upon their faces, due to some scientific method undoubtedly, and the tunnel was filled with gas. The next thing the 'Taverners (not to mention Pop) knew was being lined up against a wall, with the entire army pointing various weapons at them.
"Ready, aim..." the commanding officer who had ordered the gas masking was beginning, when a message from Kovu came into the ears of all the soldiers. "No, you fools! Don't kill them! Can you not imagine what consequences that would have to the plot? Stun them, and put them in jail somewhere, and try not to leave all the tools they need to escape laying next to them!"
"Yes sir." said the commanding officer, and there was a loud click as all the weapons switched to "Stun."
"Ready...." began the commanding officer.
"Well, I guess we're pretty much done for now.." said Tyf, sadly, looking at the large array of personel waiting to shoot at them.
"Yeah..." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after thinking about it. "There is one thing that could save us, but we have no way of getting it to happen.. even if it weren't so incredibly unlikely."
"Aim....."
"There's a way of getting out of this situation?" asked Speedy, perking up. "Tell it! We're extremely resourceful, you know."
"Well, ok." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "It's almost impossible, though. It would require, due to a flaw in the laws of physics, a quantum wormhole appearing out of nowhere, and all the eViL aRmY being sucked into it to somewhere where they can't do any harm, before they can shoot us.
"Yeah.." said the irish rabbit, losing hope again, "I see your point. That is pretty impossible."
"FIRE!" cried the commanding officer, just as due to a flaw in the laws of physics, a quantum wormhole appeared out of nowhere, sucked the entire eViL aRmY into it to somewhere where they couldn't do any harm, before the 'Taverners (and Pop) could be shot. Everyone looked at BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ accusingly, who decided against commenting on the situation.

"This can not be!" cried Kovu, in a pit of passion, throwing a Vase at the viewscreen which had shown him the utter defeat of the entire eViL aRmY (tm and patent defending to the death). "All my plans for taking over the world are, as previous stated, null of void! All I have left is an array of weird weapons, a eViL PiKe (tm and patent blah blah blah. You're not really reading this, are you?), a few highish ranking officers and a former bartender!"
"It could be worse." said Slayer, from a easychair, where he was sitting. He had never been entirely convinced he was doing the right thing, so he wasn't sure if he was glad or unhappy that the eViL aRmY (you know the drill) had been defeated. "At least you still have all those weird weapons, and.."
"Shut up." said Kovu, moodily. "I must ponder our tactical situation and determine how best to destroy this attempt to recreate the War Tavern!"
"But I was only.."
"Shut up."
"Because, you see.."
"Shut up."
"I was thinking.."
"Shut up!"
"that maybe you could.."
"Be quiet!!"
"usethatfakecheappricedhardwarestorebdecoyboobytrap Icreatedespeciallyforthispurpose?" Slayer finished, all in a rush, so as not to be interrupted again. But evidently the message had gotten through, as Kovu had stopped pacing, and was standing there with an evil look in his eye. "Yes! That's it! General Genuflector?"
"Sir."
"Utilize the fake cheap priced hardware store decoy booby trap!"

Even though he had been saved from being shot and sent to jail by a flaw in the laws of physics, Pop still remained cold and ungracious to the 'Taverners, and even went so far as to not thank BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ for having salvaged a single bent nail from his hardware store. So it was, that when the party stopped for the night, Pop made BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and Ducky (as it was fixed in his mind it was all their fault) go out and scout around before they went to bed. Being condescending sorts, they did.
"Hey, look Ducky, what's that off in the distance?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after they had scouted around a bit.
"Hmmm... hard to say." she said, after looking in the direction indicated, which was fortunately the direction BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had seen the something off in the distance. "Want to investigate?"
"Sure, why not.." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so they set off in the previously indicated direction, to find that the thingy off in the distance was a large hardware store.
"Look!" said Ducky, surprised. "It's even bigger then Pop's!"
"And cheaper prices!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, not quite knowing how he knew this. "They might even have bent nails for a third of the price!"
Ducky sighed. "Well, let's just see if we can get a War Tavern for 3,000 or less." she said, so they went up to the door, which had a sign attached to it.
"Closed - owner went to join Kovu's eViL aRmY" read BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, then made sure he had gotten it right. "Come on, Ducky, after all the trouble they gave us, surely we can just take a few materials.."
"It's still dishonest." said Ducky, resolutely. "We're buying those materials, whether you like it or not."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ sighed, and looked around. "What's that ad on the window?" he asked, so they went and read that sign, as well.
"This month's bargain: Enough materials and of the right type to built a Tavern of War, only 3,000 Carrotian Currency!"
The two looked at eachother, and decided not to belabor the point. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ found the money, and left it on the counter, while Ducky gathered the materials.
Needless to say, all the others were reasonably overjoyed upon discovery, except Pop, though he grew quiet when he heard about the bigger and better hardware store.

"So........" said Kovu, looking from the viewscreen to Slayer, who was at a different one. "When does the booby trap start?"
"Never, from the looks of things.." he muttered. "That wasn't my booby trap hardware store they found."
Kovu stared, fear that the booby trap wouldn't work turning to anger, anger at Slayer turning to Hate, Hate leading to the dark side.. and then his eyes turned redder then usual, and he was wearing a dark cloak, and there was a red lifesaver in his hand. After discarding the fruity candy, Kovu grabbed up his eViL PiKe, which had somehow turned into a red lightsaber, instead, and jumped out a window, to somehow land nearby the 'Taverners. But not Pop, as he had ran away a little while ago, taking the single bent nail with him.
"Kovu! Wait! What are you doing?" cried Slayer's voice. Apparently, Slayer had also jumped out the window, to land by Kovu.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" snapped Kovu, glaring at Slayer. "I'm going to Wipe them out. All of them."
"You can't do that!" gasped Slayer, drawing back. "I'm sure it's heavily copyrighted by someone else!"
"Well, that's just too bad!" cried Kovu, and ignited the lightsaber. With a "Mwahahahaha!", he began running with short hops towards the encampment of the 'Taverners. Slayer, after consulting his book of "what to do in a crisis", ran after him, afraid someone might get hurt from all this, and that it wouldn't be the pile of construction materials that miraculously had only cost 3,000 Carrotian Currency.

"Hey, it's Kovu," exclaimed the irish rabbit rather worried. 'In the flesh' in fact," he growled at them moving forwards. They were quite surprised to see such desperation instead of his launching a further unusual attack scheme. And Slayer too. "Why the star wars thing? It won't do that much good." wondered Baeauman.
"Maybe unknown rabbit saw star wars recently," rationalized Ducky. "Who's unknown rabbit?" said Baeauman back. 'What, you expect me to know?" she replied, feeling overestimated.
Speedy made the move and fired a wide beam at Kovu but as necessary Kovu blocked it. Kovu swung at Speedy nearly hitting but only making the clever noise. They moved back past a few of the others fighting all the way drawing up dust and smoke around them. At this moment of course Kovu realized he was about surrounded and so did Slayer.
Slayer jumped right into the group ready to attack Kovu and locked Kovu around the neck. Slayer's copy of "What to do in a crisis" lay far back on the ground but a good job was still being done. "Not a good idea! Come back up with me and we'll scheme, not get killed. Not today!" recited Slayer. Kovu was dragged back towards reentry by Slayer but firmly resisted. "NO! Release me. I am not yours to control. Let me destroy them, they wouldn't soon lay a hand on myself and the power of my eViL pIkE!" yelled Kovu. Slayer maced him and Kovu was left being dragged through the dirt and rubbing his eyes.
"What a relief!" exclaimed Baeauman. "Yeah really, to have the mr. big villian just attack like that is not comfortable!" said relieved Tyf. They began to put away their weapons. Slayer threw Kovu back to where he belonged. However the "What to do in a crisis" had been picked up and was under the gaze of Slayer's fleeting and dashing, quite anxious eyes. Kovu couldn't finish the few taverners even in such a rage. A rotten move. He could do it, however. His adversaries had recieved what he and Kovu were preventing them from aquiring, in fact without a limousine and without being thwarted by even the eViL aRmY. Goodness sakes. He had to attack, but was now the time? And what if Kovu jumped back down. .
Meanwhile, being quick, or at least not slow, the tavern group had begun to haul away their supplies in the direction of home. Slayer's eyes turned to this and were unhappy eyes. The smiling irish eyes of the irish rabbit were looking at the supplies satisfiedly knowing that it wasn't too hard of a journey to get tavern supplies even with Kovu on thier backs. Soon after Slayer's eyes, as he walked casually down the street under the street lights met the words 'Doubles as incindiery explosive' on the book binding. How he was ever so unsure but what a wonderful finding. The book would likely burn, he thought, but if the tavern supplies burnt too, where was the crisis? Averted. And his other hardware store was still in existance. It was worth it, and he could buy a new one, or even steal Kovu's hardback one. They had gotten ahead of his again as he thought, so he picked up the pace until he was a good throw away from them. He pitched the book into the middle of the walking group.
"It's slayer's book," stated Propulsion. Badly timed. "Say what?" asked Speedy. "Woah you're still here," he smiled. A few of them looked at the book for a few seconds as Propulsion explained he had been chewing a large piece of gum with padding, to diminish chewing sound. The time spent idling was too much and the book blew up all over them. The dirt headed rabbit now had charred hair all over his head and Speedy had the classic one strand of hair burning like a match. Slayer was ecstatic. And the supplies were burning all over, bent nails and all.
Then slayer broke down however trying to keep his distress secret, the group had parked their feet in front of the fire station. Had he been crying his tears would have put out the fire. A small slip from the book floated to his bent knees about a subscription to their magazine, crisis management monthy. He brushed it away. Lights went on in the fire house and the hose was draped out the window, in fact hooked up to the sink. In a few minutes the supplies and burning fur was put out and a little smoke hung in the air. "Thanks so much!" yelled Ducky to the fire staffers upstairs. Baeauman looked twitchy. "Hey, did they call this Convenient Fire House??" he laughed and winked successively. They turned the hose back on him for a moment as if to say no. The irish bunny took a look at Slayer and enjoyed a moment of fun.
Slayer in his manic fit of distress had picked the magazine slip back up and saw one of the covers. "Yes, I am out of tricks, and probably won't be reaccepted by my coworker in evil!" he said to the slip. "Put a mine between third and home" was the tactic to be described. Slayer couldn't read the magazine naturally but knew he had to regroup, himself, and attack them some time later before they got to the tavern site.

(Rocky)

Kovu unwrapped his Rice Krispies Treats from it's wrapper, which it stuck stubbornly to. As Slayer approached him, toting an empty blue cereal box, Kove shoved the entire bar into his mouth and grinned, lips tight together.

Speedy walked along merrily, not noticing his hair still burning like a match because the fire station employees had missed it with their hose stuff. It was his turn to walk ahead and warn of any possible traps set by Kovu and/or Slayer, while the rest lugged along the slightly sodden War Tavern building materials. The 'Tavern's former resting place was not too far off, now, assuming they hadn't been warped to some other part of Carrotus while they weren't paying any attention, and that was unlikely.
"Look!" cried Speedy, pointing ahead. "Tabletop Mesa, the friendly neighborhood redundant landmark!"
"So it is." said Ducky, looking up from the bag of nails and hammers and screwdrivers and stuff like that. "That must mean.. we're travelling in the right direction."
"Hmmm, yeah.." said Speedy, tilting his head on one side to look like he was thinking. "I mean, was there any doubt?"
"Hurry up, you're blocking the procession!" cried the muddy rabbit with charred hair, and Speedy began walking again, leaving the others room to walk.
"So, uh, how much further is it?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who hadn't been on the Outing, and thus didn't have a good idea of how the land laid.
"It should be on the other side of the Mesa." said Propulsion, groaning under the weight of a dangerously stacked pile of boards. "We've rounded second and third, and home is just around the corner."
"The crowd is going wild." added Speedy, then broke into a stride. "Come on! Dark is approaching, and we want to arrive before nightfall."
This was true, so the ones who were ladened with burdens tried to increase their gait, with mixed sucess.
Soon, they had reached the foot of the Mesa. "Shall we go around, or climb it?" asked the irish rabbit, judging the distance with a yo-yo.
"Around." said Ducky, decidedly. "I'm not going up a Mesa side with a bag of metal objects."
There was general agreement, so they began to go around the mesa. They had not gotten very far, however, when a large rumbling sound was heard.
"What's that?" asked Tyf, in alarm.
"A large rumbling sound!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wisely, recieving a glare for his troubles.
Speedy pointed upward, in the general direction of the source of the rumbling sound. A landslide had started, and a figure was standing on top of the mesa looking evil, though they couldn't make out his/her/its features from down below.
"The landslide is coming right at us." said the irish rabbit, wisely. "Quick BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, your backpack!"
"The stupid thing is stuck." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after fumbling for a moment. "Our best bet is to run away."
"I can't run with this stuff!" said Tyf, who was carrying all the beer taps, as well as two chairs, on her back.
"Carry what you can, leave the rest!" cried Speedy, grabbing a stack of boards from off of Propulsion, and running.
This was the general practice, and they managed to save about half of the materials before the rest were crushed by the landslide.
"Slow landslide." commented Propulsion, as the flame on Speedy's hair got down to his head, causing him to yelp.

From above, Slayer grinned in triumph. Once he had gotten over his inner struggle on which side to take, and purchased a large detonator from a convinience store, everything had been easy. Now those 'Taverners would have to find a hardware store again, and maybe this time they would find his booby trapped one..
Suddenly, Kovu's voice interrupted his thoughts. "Slayer! I have just recovered from the mace you whacked me with, and my view screens show me half the 'Tavern materials have been destroyed by a landslide!"
"Yes." said Slayer, after making sure it was just on the radio, and that Slayer had not appeared next to him. "I slowed them down quite handily."
"Well, if you still want to slow them down, why did you stop me from wrecking sithly harm upon them?"
"Kovu.." said Slayer, then sighed. "In your raging state, you could not have destroyed them so much as have been defeated, and probably tied up. What would be the point of that?"
"I find your lack of faith.... disturbing." said Kovu, and laughed "Mwahahahaha!". Slayer crumpled to the ground as the radio inside his ear that Kovu had installed in all his evil minions exploded.

"Well," sighed Ducky, "there's nothing to be done about it. We have to go buy half the materials needed for the War Tavern, for the low, low price of 0 Carrotian Currency."
"We could get jobs.." suggested Speedy, which was considered by the rest.
"First," said Ducky, "we should find the price for half the materials. That way, we know how much to work for, or whatever other method of getting more money we may think of."
"Right." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, then shouldered some building stuff. "I think that cheap hardware store was this way."
So they went this way, as opposed to that way, while grammatically correct, is not entirely accurate.
"There's the hardware store!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, upon spotting the hardware store. This time, however, it was lighted up, and there was a large sign in the window reading "UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT".
"Well, as long as it's still a hardware store." said Ducky, and the others agreed, so they went inside, causing a little bell to ring.
"Can I help yuh-" the man behind the counter was beginning, when he noticed who they were. "YOU again! Well, you're not getting in this store! I've had enough wreckage and destruction of my work to last a lifetime!"
The 'Taverners recoiled from the wrath of Pop, who had apparently taken this store over, and exited quickly.
"Now what?" asked Tyf, after being yelled at to "And STAY out!".
"Look over there!" gasped Propulsion, and they looked over there. Towering over them and everything else for several miles was a gigantic hardware store, promising "The cheapest prices in the world, the friendliest workers, and gairunteed no booby traps OR spelling mistakes!"
"Let's try there." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, matter of factedly, so they entered.

Kovu watched with light satisfaction as he was certain this hardware store was too good to be true, certainly for his side, and on appearance, for the tavern reforming group. "Have fun," he gestured at the video screen. In his light satisfaction altered mind he called over Genuflector and Annoyance to enjoy the show, however this would occur, Kovu was very unusure how the traps were set up.
The lot of them moved quickly to pace through the aisles to replenish the supplies that were crushed or shattered. Baeauman was deathly afraid such a quality hardware store wouldn't have bent nails . . however a whole aisle subsection was devoted just to this. How unusual but true it was. Boards were a major concern as was more furniture. On the overhead screen Kovu and his subordinate pair waited carefully but were not going to be at ease until someone got snared.
Propulsion was tired of all the work and needed a good rest. His swaying body collided with a set of hammer storage and sent the whole stack falling to the floor. Kovu and the generals gave this a standing ovation until when the dust and noise cleared they found that Propulsion was safe and it was never a trap. A few of the staff members were on their feet ater the accident and cleaned it up in the business time measurement called a jiffy.
Kovu glowered. "That wasn't very impressive. I would have rather attacked them myself." General Genuflector felt similarly trodden on. "What did he actually put nice workers in the store?" he griped. "I would have expected assassin workers, myself," added Major Annoyance. "Taking a look at the ratchets, next thing they know, bam!" he described. They waited, quite distraught, for the onslaught of traps to happen. A very unexpected occurence was in order unfortunately.
As Speedy walked along with Propulsion past towers of mollies and bolts an unpleasant feeling came over Propulsion. "I have felt a strange disturbance in the two by fours," he said interpretively to Speedy. He was not greeted by much. Speedy looked around in fact at the board asile where three of their group remained collecting boards. "Um I may have some Nyquil if you must," replied Speedy after a bit of thought. At that point the wormhole opened and scattered all over the store lay in fact Kovu's, eViL aRmY. It was not hard to miss.
Kovu again realized this was not a trap but was overjoyed. What a disruptive turn of events! The taverners were frozen in their tracks in disbelief. What luck, they worried. What luck indeed however for both parties. This many soldiers were bound to uncover the traps inside the store. "How may we help you?" said a pleasing worker to a few soldiers. "This particular model comes with a set of five bits!" described a further assistant to one of the soldiers, who was actually interested. Then the traps began to go off as the soldiers fumbled around. In only a few minutes hardly any of them had seen one of the taverners and none of these soldiers knew what to do with them. Mousetraps clinched across the store on the soldiers' hands and feet and they waved their appendages rapidly as necessary. Such a disorderly scene drove Kovu into great unhappiness but the leaders nearby took time to wonder what good mousetraps would do. "What was he thinking, tom and jerry?" gnarled Annoyance about Slayer. "That's not what I'm thinking," confirmed Genuflector. The taverners in fact still worked gathering supplies, but slower. They were unfazed by the sudden appearance of the mousetraps and recieved no harrassment by the eViL aRmY. The mousetraps began to detonate, and they had to stop again. Large explosions they were. Kovu was in a fit of rage despite the near equal problem this presented for his enemy. Things were collapsing all about with no time to be picked up and smoke and dust began to fill the store to its unfinished ceiling. "Despicable!' blew off Ducky for it truly was to the poor travelers, having to leave with only a small amount of new supplies. "Exploding buildings are no fun anymore," worried the charred fellow. In fact this store had propane and gas tanks as well and a similar scene followed. "This city is the worst," complained Baeauman. "We've got to get a new vehicle and hit the road," he decided to the group. "A truck or bus I suppose," said the hot cross one. This was a good idea, they agreed. Kovu was on his knees. Although his eViL aRmY was probably not gone and forgotten, he had done a substandard job keeping the War Tavern crew out of line. A new strategy must be drawn out, and his top leaders were ready to assist.

(Rocky)
It's icepack time.

I pulled out a keg of Vanilla Coke from my pocket.

"Ignore the chaos for one second, please," I said. We cannot think on dry throats."





*doesn't remember who she's with, so refrains from talking about anyone else*

"It seems to me," said Tyf, who had been getting very little attention lately, "that if we carry all this stuff around it's only going to get destroyed. Should we not put it somewhere for safe keeping, then go and find the remaining materials?"
"A good point." condescended BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, stopping to look around. "Not only does this stuff get heavy in time, but you're right about it not being safe. However, where are you going to find a safe place to leave them here, in the grasslands of Carrotus?"
"Disregarding the fact that all of Carrotus is grasslands," said Speedy, "I would say right there." He pointed up at the second towering structure that day, a huge metal building named "Fort Knix".
"Wow." said Propulsion, in appreciation. "That does look fairly safe."
"By all means, then, let us try it." said Ducky, so they advanced, as quickly as possible under three quarters of the materials needed to construct a Tavern of War.
"Halt! Who goes there?" cried a man with a big sombrero, and a curly mustache, guarding the door.
"The sanity group of 'Taverners." said the irish rabbit, importantly, failing to gain awe from the guard. "We come to make a deposit."
"You look leek theeves to me." said the other end of the conversation, peering. "How do I know you won't jeest come een and crack thee safes?"
There was a quick conversation among the 'Taverners, the subject of which being checking if any of them had any certificate of non thievery or something like that. At last, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ stepped foward, holding out a badge importantly.
"Here is my Badge of Honor, given to me by the Powers that Don't Be, Didn't Be, and Never Will Be, for extreme honor in the face of nothing in paticular."
"Badges? I don't want your steenking badges!" cried the irate guard, mustache hurridly jiggling about. "I want your steenking deposeet!"
"If we give you our deposit, will you lock it up safely until we come and collect it?" asked the burnt and muddy rabbit, so that the entire group got a chance to talk this phraragraph.
"Not so fast." said the mexican, by the looks. "No Cash, no Credeet, no Deposeet!"
The group looked blankly at eachother, until the muddy and burnt rabbit decided he understood.
"You won't make the "deposeet" until we give you the cover charge?"
There was an affirmative comment from the guard. The 'Taverners sighed, and began to walk away, but were quickly halted when the honorable Mr. ANTE-TUBBES ran from the building, a nametag reading "Hello, my name is Your Mangager, now bow down and pay tribute" on his shirt. "Wait! Don't go! We need your money!" cried he, grabbing Propulsion's collar. "Did I mention our special offer? Make a deposit of over one hundred pounds and get a 8,000 Carrotian Credits gift certificate at the hardware store of your choice!"
The 'Taverners looked at eachother again.

"Let's start planning." said Kovu, looking at General Genuflector and Major Annoyance with his red eyes. "We need some trap or attack device that will render all the efforts of the 'Taverners from Alpha to Zeta useless and generally uneffectual. Any ideas?"
"We could attack them with your evil army again." said Annoyance, trying to monitor half the viewscreens in the room at once. "Around half of them survived the hardware store explosion, including the commanding officer from a couple posts back."
"No," said Kovu, musingly, "I think we should save the evil army. If all else fails, they can destroy the War Tavern once it is rebuilt, effectively squashing their hopes and dreams."
"Let us try my newly invented trap, Mr. Bunny's PIT O DEATH!" cried General Genuflector, calling up a blueprint. "When the party walks onto this perfectly innocent patch of termite infested wood with "Please stand here and wait" written on it in blood, the wood all comes out from under them and they fall into the spikes below!"
"Too obvious." said Kovu, annoyed. "You two don't help much." he added, going over to the phone, and dialing 555-3V1L.
"Who's he gonna call?" asked General Genuflector, in a whispered conversation with the Major.
"The Dial-a-evil-genius-psychic-hotline" whispered Annoyance in response. "Now shhh."
Kovu stood there as the call was completed as dialed.
"Hello, this is Devan Shell, your evil genius for today. Your problem is that you wish to stop a party of good doers. Solution: Kidnap the female, all the time creating two mega battleships to destroy their planet."
"No thanks." said Kovu. "Got any more?"
"Sure! Create a time machine, using a treasured item of one of the travellers as your power source, and rewrite history so that they were never born."
"Too unoriginal." said Kovu, getting tired of this guy. "This is your last chance."
"Uhhhh.. kidnap their kids, and -"
"They don't have any kids." Kovu hung up, and dialed again.
"Hello, this is Oberon, your moderately evil genius for today. Your problem is that you wish to stop a party of good doers. Solution: Find a wood sprite to make them love eachother, though no two should each love the other one. There will be too many tears and heartfelt confessions for them to continue their progress."
Kovu sighed, and hung up. "Forget that plan. There is only one thing to do now."

"Ok," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, pointing. "There's the place I told you about."
"The place where they pay you completely unexplained large amounts of money for taste testing new flavors of pastry?" asked Propulsion, licking his lips. They had had a lot of hardship on this quest, but it seemed to have a tasty ending.
"That's the one!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so they advanced, and had a good time eating tasty pastry, and a few days later came out with all the money and more they needed to deposit the three quarters of materials they already had, in order to get the gift certificate for the remaining quarter.
"It should be clear sailing from now on!" said Ducky, happily, as the sky darkened.
"Look up there!" gasped Tyf, and they looked. A space pod was descending. Soon, it had landed, and six figures climbed out.
"Kovu!" cried the irish rabbit, in fear.
"Mwahahahaha.. yes, and these are my assistants, Major Annoyance, General Genuflector, the commanding officer from a few posts back, DPCIFQMF and Vampyra Smurferama! You thought the story writers had forgotten about those two, didn't you?"
"Well...... to be perfectly honest, yes." said the irish rabbit, randomly elected spokesman. "But where's your evil army?"
"Err.. we ran into a lot of trouble, and turbulence on the way here." said Kovu, blushing. "The long and short of it is, we lost them all. But we shall not lose you."
And then the costume workers came on, and with a flurry of stuff, they were all wearing white suits with black face masks, and holding long rapiers.
"Have at thee, now!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and the fight began, with parrying and blocking and dodging and all that stuff.
However, in the days it took them to get there, Kovu and his associates had had plenty of time to train with the weapons, while the 'Taverners had spent the last few days eating baked goods, so it was not too long before Kovu's side had unanimously won.
"And now you die!" cried Kovu, but then a voice cried "Hold it right there!" from the left, and everyone turned.
There stood Slayer, with a large suitcase with lots of holes poked in it. "Kovu, your reign of terror has ended. I have come to undo you."
"Slayer, no!" cried Kovu, deciding Slayer must have some powerful weapon in the suitcase. "What has brought about this change of heart in you?"
"Well, after you destroyed my inner radio, I laid on the ground for some time, until some members of the Brotherhood of Evil came upon me, and welcomed me to their club. I had fun in their club, as the only rule was to never open the blue door. But after some time, I got curious, and opened the blue door. There I was tapes of what happened when members of the brotherhood got caught.. I saw extreme tortures, agony, copyright infringement.. it was scary. I vowed to relinquish my evil ways, and after that, the Brotherhood of Evil got rid of me as soon as possible. I went back to where the War Tavern had once been, and do you know what I found there?"
"Nuh... no." said Kovu, drawing back.
"GenEX's formerly evil kittens, now become Good Cats by the powers of Admael. And they are here to undo the hypnotization they put upon you back when this all began.."
With a meow and a snap, the suitcase sprang open, and the GoOd CaTs sprang forth, and fixed their eyes upon Kovu, who was dehypnotized, and back to being a nice guy who rarely said anything but "Hmmmm.".
"Now, as for the rest of you...." began Slayer, looking at the remaining five. Annoyance, Genuflector, and the commanding officer fled to the space pod, and before anyone could stop them, flew off into the sunset.
"For monsters such as the one of Frankenquist, I believe the best solution is a hair of the dog. So, Vampyra, if you would kindly bite the neck of DPCIFQMF there.."
"Why? What's in it for me?" asked the vampire smurf, angrily.
"If you do, I have a nice job lined up for you. And I can tell you, you will not be ignored. No, you will be the center of attention, in fact."
Grumbling, Vampyra bit the neck of DPCIFQMF, who reverted back to Fquist, with all his Admin powers still intact.
"So where's my job?" asked Vampyra Smurferama, glaring at Slayer.

Soon, on Earth, 4045, TDJPSO v2 recieved a large package in the mail, with several interstellar stamps on it. Their were several air holes in the box, and the note read "To who it may concern. Enclosed is the star for your new movie, should you choose to make it, which reader polls show should be a big sucess."
Puzzled, TDJPSO v2 opened the parcel, to reveal a short blue figure, with fangs.

And after everyone had congratulated Slayer on his wisdom, they went to Fort Knix, and made the deposit, and then set off in search of one final hardware store to make good their 8,000 Carrotian Credits gift certificate.

SketCH entered the scene via a black hole and accidently merged with Genex.
"Ouch, that stings," mumbled SketCH. Not realising what happened, he sat around in space drawing some manga comics. Only when his pencil broke and he found no pencil sharpener did he realise where he was.
"Weird, I wonder where this guy's soul has gone now..." SketCH thought aloud. Noticing he now possesed extraordinary powers, he flew off to join the taverners after getting used to the gift of flight. Of course, he had to take a few hits from obstacles such as meteors and space junk. On the way, he read about who Genex was and was determined to act like him in all possible aspects so the taverners would not notice anything.

Argh, could somebody fill me? I could read through it, but that would take half of my leftover life-span, and nobody wants to see that...

Well, nobody wants to see you, either.
*hehehe, I'm practicing acting like Genex. Don't take it personally*

Well, here's basically what happened since BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Speedy, Tyf, Propulsion, Gurgi, the rabbit with an irish accent, and the rabbit who would later be known as the muddy rabbit came down to Carrotus in the Plotline Hotline spaceship from the unknown planet which would later be called Jimdrabia.

Gurgi, being a character from another story and thus dangerous to keep around, wandered into an interdimensional warp, putting him back where he belongs. The rest went off to where the War Tavern used to be, where they found that all the other 'Taverners had had their behavior changed to that of terran rabbits, even those who weren't rabbits, such as Batty Buddy. They managed to revive Ducky, however, using a dirty sandwhich, and the group set off in search of a Hardware store to give them materials to rebuild the 'Tavern, armed with 3,000 Carrotian Credits.

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ got seperated from the rest when Bob, the mystical voice, tackled him, but soon got loose and aquired an inflatable Limo' from a box of pickles, courtesy of Happy Puppy Pickle Co. He soon found the rest, however, and they drove around.

Kovu, who had been turned evil by GenEX's formerly evil kittens, now good cats from the powers of Admael, was watching this in his evil spaceship or whatever, along with some assistants. He and Slayer had recently gotten out of the circular hallway they had been stranded in to prevent them from trying to destroy the world while the plot was taking place on Jimdrabia. Kovu instructed General Genuflector to launch the Sharp Pin grenade, which punctured the inflatable Limo', which then shot off into the sky and looped around.

It crashed into ULTRA NURSE's extend-o-needle, and plummeted to the ground, safely. ULTRA NURSE then went away, and the 'Taverners continued. But Kovu's bomber planes dropped trillions of pickles on them, causing them all to slip into Mom and Pop's hardware store.

Pop, the only one there, welcomed them, but then Kovu's vast eViL aRmY came and blew up the place. The army then chased the 'Taverners and Pop all over until the good folks got cornered in a chasm, where they were captured. But a flaw in the laws of physics warped the eViL aRmY away, so the 'Taverners got away scot free, causing Kovu and Slayer to deploy the latest trap - Slayer's BOOBY TRAP hardware store.

Ducky and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ went to scout around while the others camped for the night, and came across a hardware store selling all the materials needed for a Tavern of War for only 3,000 Carrotian Credits. Naturally, they took the store up on this, even though the owner was not present.

Kovu, naturally, got mad, as this hardware store they had found was inexplicably NOT Slayer's booby trap hardware store. So he turned into a sith, against Slayer's counseling, and went to confront the 'Taverners directly. But Slayer maced him over the head, and stored Kovu back in the evil spaceship or whatever, but did not follow.

Pop ran away and took over the hardware store, so the 'Taverners set off towards where the War Tavern used to be. However, half the materials were crushed by a landslide triggered by Slayer, so they dejectedly went in search of another hardware store. Kovu got mad at Slayer for doing this without his orders, so he detonated the two way radio inside Slayer's ear, causing Slayer to crumple to the ground.

This time, they actually did come upon the booby trap hardware store. They were just picking out anything when the eViL aRmY appeared out of the physics flaw warp, accidentally activating all the booby traps - exploding mousetraps. That hardware store also exploded, along with around half of the eViL aRmY, but the 'Taverners were now up to three quarters of the required materials, though broke.

They went to Fort Knix, where they planned to store what materials they had until they could get the remaining ones, but they couldn't make a deposit without first paying the cover charge. So BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ led them all to a place where they give you large amounts of money for taste testing pastry. They stayed there for a few days, before getting enough money to make the deposit. But Kovu showed up, along with General Genuflector, two other assistants, Vampyra Smurferama, and the Dutch Pastry Cook in the body of FrankenQuist's Monster. The remaining part of the eViL aRmY had been lost on the way to confront the 'Taverners. So they all fenced a bit, but Kovu's forces won.

Then Slayer showed up. He had been reformed from evil, and had brought along GenEX's formerly evil kittens, now goods cats by the powers of Admael. They dehypnotized Kovu. General Genuflector and the two miscellaneous assistants fled, FrankenQuist's Monster was turned back into Fquist, and Vampyra Smurferama was sent off to the Director Of Jurassic Park Something or Other Version 2, to be the star of a new movie.

The group then went to Fort Knix, and made the deposit, and with the remaining money, went off in search of one final hardware store..

SketCH came out of a black hole, merged with GenEX, who had reformed from his ways, and took control of GenEX's body and mind. He then reverted to GenEX's earlier type of action, and flew off through space to join the 'Taverners, though it would take him a few days to get there.

And Ducky, upon learning of her Cherry Table being left in the wrecked ship that looks like the Millenium Falcon back on Jimdrabia, decided that once the 'Tavern was rebuilt, they should go back to Jimdrabia and rescue the Cherry Table.

*applause*
I certainly couldn't have done it better.

Before joining up with everybody else, GenEX had to go back to the place where he left all his armor/weapons when he decided to join the tavern. Teleporting to the Storage Dimension, he walked up to the one-eyed hand behind the counter and asked to withdraw.
"Sneerk sneerk," the psycoclops replied, "Okie dokie mister GenEX sir. Right this way please sneerk." He led him to an iron door with the name GenEX engraved upon it. "Sneerk, in here." said the creature. GenEX opened the door and it closed behind him. Finding all his things such as his Radiant Armor(made from the super flexible and tough adamantium), the legendary Dual Sabres, his Omega Shield, the Mach 15 Speed Shoes, the Enchanted Gaunlets, and his favorite baseball cap(without a baseball team name on it). Outfitting himself with all his gear, GenEX then walked over to the door. It was locked. He tried to open it, straining his muscles, but it wouldn't open. Then a strange fog engulfed the room. A familiar prescence of bad vibes could be sensed, with a familiar scent of decay.
"It's You!!" exclaimed GenEX. A pale yellow skeleton with deep black eye sockets appeared in front of him.
"How Are You GenEX!! All Universe Are Belong To Us. You Are On The Way To Destruction." GenEX cocked his head to one side in confusion. "What You Say!!" "There Is No Chance To Survive Me In This Time. Ha Ha Ha Ha..." GenEX was a little bit annoyed with the rotting corpse constantly talking in a raspy voice while his really bad breath engulfed GenEX's face, making his eyes water. "Prepare to die, Necromaster." Then GenEX quickly added, "Die as in rest in peices and never come back!" A bright aurora surrounded him. An aurora of light, giving him power. GenEX could feel it flowing through him, giving him strenght. "Let's do this."