Hello general Infrared population! This is your friend The Computer, with an all points bulletin! Alpha Complex has a shortage of Troubleshooters after last night's raid on on the Communist Secret Society, and as such is running open enrollment for the rank.
Do you have what it takes to become a Troubleshooter? Can you shoot the broad side of a barn? Will you enjoy the fact that all of your fellow troubleshooters are probably working together against you? Will you savor the fact that they also can probably burn you to a crisp with their mind with a treasonous mutant power? Can you keep your own treasonous mutant power a secret, known only to you and your treasonous Secret Society? Do you like running errands for your friend, the computer? Then apply within!
Perks include:
Red clearance
A six-pack of clones (in case of accidents)
A shiny new red popgun
Shiny red laser-reflecting armor
Com unit mark 1
A life expectancy of over 30 minutes
...and possibly much, much more!
Positions are limited, so please submit your applications to Mr. Green in secret and in a timely manner.

Have a nice day,
Your Friend the Computer.

Troubleshooter SlaYo, reporting for duty, SIR!

There is no reason to refuse the computer's help. Reporting for duty, computer!

Refusing the computer is Treasonous and therefore I shall not do so. Ready and waiting, computer!

Despite the probable lack of activity (Darn internets), I will join the cause. Lead us to 'victory', oh mighty computer.

Sir, yes Sir.

Mr Green glances up from his paperwork to see three committed and two interested infrared citizens. He grumbles, "Right, so three commited, that's a good start. I need at least 6, and would like at least 8. This mission needs all the help it can get. So, if both of you commit, I only need 1-3 more. As soon as that happens I'll start the briefing, in the meantime you three can take a seat, you two finish your paperwork." Mr. Green turns his attention back to his paperwork.

plunK (and his kickbutt pet Jakalope) reporting for duty.

*raises hand*

Mr. Green's comm unit squawks loudly. He glances at the readout, does a doubletake, and then jumps from his chair, fumbles his comm open, puts it to his ear, turns his back on the growing crowd of infrared scum, collects himself, and then speaks into it in a calm, controlled, voice.
"Yes sir?"
"Well, I-"
"But we-"
"Sir, we only-"
"Yes, I understand, Sir."
"Sir, for your information, we only have five new recruits so far..."
"No Sir!"
"Yes Sir!"
"But of course!"
Mr. Green closes his comm unit, spins back around, and glares at all the troubleshooter wannabes that are filling his enrollment center.
"Alright, I just got a call from my commanding officer, who has violet clearance. The situation in his area has become critical, and he needs a team down there YESTERDAY. So here's what I'm going to do; I'm going to give all of you the briefing on the mission. Everyone who has their paperwork in order will receive Red Clearance, their equipment, and Mandatory Bonus Duty, and be sent out onto the field. Anyone else who finishes their paperwork in a timely manner will join them shortly."

Mr Green pulls a file from his desk. "What details we have collected so far are vague, but it seems a Secret Society known only as the 'Smooth Operators' have created a technological abomination, something that seeks to subvert Our Friend The Computer. What exactly this device is and does is unanswered. Your mission is to infiltrate the building where they are camped and find this device. If you manage to find out what the device does, what these 'Smooth Operators' stand for, or bring the device back here to me, Friend Computer would greatly appreciate it. If this is impossible, destroy the device."

Mr. Green places the file back on his desk, then hauls out a large box of equipment. "Alright, let us see here... Everyone who has finished their paperwork have been assigned Red Reflec Armor, a Red MarkI Popgun, a MarkI Comm Unit, and a Utility belt with pouches." Mr. Green passes this equipment out.
"Now, each of you have been assigned a Mandatory Bonus Duty, which comes with specialized equipment. Mr. Gustaf 'SlaYo' LaFleur, since you were the first to respond, you are our group's Team Leader! Your specialized equipment is a shiny 'Team Leader' badge, and a Red MarkII Popgun, which is cutting edge technology!" Mr. Green tosses Gustaf the badge, and then gingerly removes the MarkII Popgun from the equipment box and gently hands it to Gustaf.
"Mr. Mercury 'Dalspots' Nanite, your cheerfulness was evident when you first walked into the room. For this, you are named this team's Happiness Officer. Remember, Happiness is mandatory. I do not have any specialized equipment for you, but you should be quite happy with that."
"Torkell, you obviously have a great sense of loyalty, and thus I assign you Loyalty Officer. You are to be the only one of your team to speak with Friend Computer, barring emergencies and your absence."
"Troglobite, you seem like the strong, silent type, so you are assigned Equipment Guy. You get this red duffel bag. It is empty now, but should be full upon your return."
"Plunk, Friend Computer thanks you for taking your assigned dose of hallucinogens, but you have no pet, nor have you ever had a pet. Also, you have been assigned Hygiene Officer, take this box of tissues. You will need them before the end."

Mr. Green settles himself into his chair, and speaks dismissively. "The Infrared Public Transportation Shuttle to sector EPS-95 should be arriving just outside this building in a few minutes (~48-72 hours), so you have until then to acquaint yourself with your new equipment and meet the rest of your team before you leave."
Mr. Green immediately returns to shuffling paperwork.


(AUTHOR NOTE: anything you say in this thread will treated as being in-character. If you have a little to say out of character (such as questions for me or clarifications), append it to your post, formatted like this note. If everyone has a lot to say out of character, I'll start a new thread.
Also, if you send a PM to anyone about paranoia, post here, saying something about whispering in someone's ear or fiddling with your comm unit. If I send you a PM, I'll post and say your comm unit squawked.
Last, time is a bit weird in a forum setting, so when I refer to time, I'll refer to it both in character "a couple of minutes" and out of character (~48-72 HOURS).)

*Com unit squawks*

"I'll see you guys at the shuttle."

*Heads out the door.*

"I am delighted to accept this responsibility you bestow on me, sir." I say as I accept the shiny badge he holds in front of me. My words of kindness seem to fall on deaf ears as mr. Green flicks through the stack of papers in front of him. The gun he gave me feels heavier than the regular blaster and gives off a pleasent vibration.

I get the feeling this mission could end up taking a lot longer than it would have with a decent crew, but it would have to do. At least nobody will be able to blame anything on the leader.

"My name is Gustaf Lafleur, and I run a tight ship. Now, if any of you have ever heard anything about these 'Smooth operators' now is a good time to let me know." I put the safety on the lasergun on and hide it away.

(OOC: N0, Mercury is a he, if that's alright. Also, we all have popguns by default, yes? Just to make sure.)

"Yes, sir! Mercury Nanite agrees to fulfill his responsibilities and keep the happiness in line! Pessimism will not be tolerated!"

He cheerfully salutes Mr. Green and heads through the door, following the team leader.

my name is nate. i'm a sick mockery of life. i'm down.

The Infrared Public Transportation Shuttle screeches to a halt just outside the recruitment center. Everyone follows Gustaf in and claims a seat. The bus takes off again, and everyone is thrown backwards in their seat as the AI guiding the Shuttle slams on the gas. The AI drones "We apologize for the delay, and are making great efforts to get back on schedule. Please be patient, and have a nice day!"

Mercury's Comm Unit chirps, and he listens to it happily.

After a few gut-wrenching stops, and a couple random infrared's getting on and off at each stop, the AI announces "Next stop: Sector EPS-95"

Troglobite's Comm unit squawks, he reads it intently

You all get out of the Shuttle and find yourself in front of a building that has the Smooth Operators logo on the front, which looks something like:

 Smooth
 ------
 |    |
 ^    ^
 O    O
Operators

Torkell's Comm unit squeaks, he listens to it studiously.

In front of you is the only entrance into the building, stairs leading up to an old-fashioned door, one with a bright Yellow doorknob.
Features nearby include: High-traffic infrared highway behind you, Infrared Shuttle Stop, a trash can, and the usual amount of Friend Computer Surveillance Cameras.

plunK's Comm unit barks, he reads it indignantly.

{Appears out of seemingly nowhere}

"Sorry Sir, I was just um......*thinks creatively* quadruple checking my orders.
I am now prepared and ready for action"

{walks away for a second, throws out a piece of gum, studies the interior components of the garbage can}

"Now i am ready Sir"

I step out of the bus and stare at the building. As the reality of the situation sinks in, I feel a twinge of adrenaline, but quickly stifle and emotions that may hurt my chance ar sucess. As I adjust my grip on the gun, I state,

"Friend Computer sounded like he was in a hurry when he assigned us this mission. I suggest we don't just loiter around outside."

I take a step towards the stairs then add,

"We can't let these 'smooth operators' get away. They'll have less chace to escape if we split up. Once we're in, Gustaf and I can navigate our way to the back of the building, then we'll close in from both sides. That is, if you agree to the plan, Team Leader."

"Those who rush in without a carefully structured plan are likely to get their heads blown off, friend Troglobite." I say as I take a good look around the building. "Apart from that, your plan sounds decent enough to attempt it. Let us gather some information before we head in."

I look into one of the security cams and ask "Friend computer, have you seen any suspicious behaviour around here lately?"

"Excuse me, Mr. Gustaf, but Mr. Green did not authorize you to speak directly with the Computer. And, as I am sure you are aware, disobeying a citizen of superior clearance is Treasonous."

"I was testing your awareness. It is important for a team leader to be up to speed about his team. You pass the first test, good job mister Torkell."

I quickly key something into my smartphone.

"Hmm. Given the nature of this, I'll let it pass, however you should be aware that such activities can still be Treasonous even if as part of a test."

I look at Gustaf, not entirely convinced by his statement but willing to settle with it for now. I hit a speeddial key on my smartphone, then hold it up to my ear.

"Greetings, friend Computer"

"Friend Computer, have you seen any suspicious activity around here recently?"

(n0, if we should use a different way of contacting the computer then I'll edit my post)

"Greetings, Loyalty Officer Torkell!"

"Suspicious Activity log for this area in the last 24 hours:
Unknown Infrared passes out on Infrared Public Transportation Shuttle Bench.
Unknown Red throws paper documents into trash receptacle
Unknown Yellow led a team of 10 unknown persons of Infrared Clearance into building
Unknown Infrared gets up off the Infrared Public Transportation Shuttle Bench and gets on the Infrared Public Transportation Shuttle for sector ELZ437
Team of 5 Red Troubleshooters arrive 20 seconds late to start their assigned mission and start prowling around"

(if you are contacting Friend Computer publicly, then do it via a normal post, otherwise you send me a PM, and only say in your post that you are fumbling with your Comm Unit or whatever)

"Computer, is it possible to get a video of the Unknown Yellow?"

"The requested video is of Green Clearance."

Suddenly, and with a "POP" that could be heard three streets down, plunK instantly turns into a large sperm whale, crushing the Infrared Public Transportation Shuttle Bench and knocking over the trashcan. He looks around rather confused, then makes a mournful whale noise.

"Bah," I think, "I can't this incompetence. If it was up to these fools, we'd stand around trying to figure about what the secret society did two days ago, until they destroy friend Computer. That is, if we don't self-destruct first."

I take another step towards the staircase.

"I'm going to destroy these infernal smooth operators. You guys feel free to help if you like."

I start up the staircase, without a second look back.

I whisper a few words of wisdom in Trogs ear in an attempt to change his mind.

"I think we should go around first and see if there is another point of entry that might be a little less suspicious than storming in through the front door."

I start making my way around the building.

*uses flipper and makes noise into his communication device. * {the sounds almost seem english}

The computer announces over the loudspeaker "Someone has made a secret roll that has a chance of effecting everyone, if you wish to use perversity, do so now!"

I could hoard perversity... or alternatively I could use it as the game intends.

Hmm.

7 points on spectacular failure!

Oh no! plunK the beached sperm whale is having a heart attack without the buoyancy of the ocean holding his heart! He flails his tail in pain, barely missing Gustaf, knocking Mercury over, and crushing Troglobite into the side of the building, crushing all of his ribs. Torkell, luckily, is on the head side of the whale and is quite far from the flailing tail.

Mercury, you fell on your popgun. It has a slight crack in the casing, but otherwise looks just fine.
Troglobite, you are QUITE dead. Please wait while a new clone is transferred to your current location.
Plunk, your heart is giving out, you might want to try changing back to something less dependent on buoyancy. And quickly.

Mercury yelps as he's knocked over by the giant whale tail. He grabs his popgun from underneath him and looks at it, examining it. He has a slight annoyed look at the crack on the casing on his face for a split second, before muttering "Must... Remain... Happy." He quickly pops the popgun back and puts on a smile.

He looks at the giant whale. "Let's not panic! I mean, look at that - We're looking at a giant whale living out of water here! How many times does that happen in a lifetime?"

After thrashing his tail in agony for what seemed like DAYS, plunK's poor heart couldn't take it anymore. With one last dying thrash of his tail, plunK the sperm whale breathes his last, a long exhale out his blowhole. plunK, lose a clone, please wait while your next clone spawns.

Troglobite's clone emerges from a spawn cylinder just in time to see plunK stop twitching.

{plunK's spirit thinks to himself after daydreaming for like 5 days and dying as a whale} he thinks "at least when my clone arrives i can have lots of free whale meat.

It was dark. It had always been dark. It had always been quiet here, and peaceful. fficeffice" />>>
>>
But then something happened. Strange thoughts began to appear. I could remember something other than this peace. Ideas of light, and motion grew out of the dark corners of my mind.>>
>>
At first, these thoughts were a small tide in the back of my mind. A curious little event. But the tide surged, and the quiet was slowly strangled. A part of me tried to resist the change. Change was new, unknown, frightening. But the thoughts kept growing, stretching, submerging me, until I drown.>>
>>
What emerged was something new entirely. I had a vague knowledge of my past, of the quiet, but it merely felt like a fading dream. It was not me. For now I had identity. I had a past, and an identity.>>
>>
Memories flashed through my mind. I remember growing up as an infrared. Friend Computer's loving guidance throughout my childhood. I remember the drugs, and being happy.>>
>>
Then the memories contort. A dark room. Quiet talking. Something about a secret society. Nausea, at the thought. Everything I had ever learned told me this was wrong. Speeches about the proletariat, someone named Marx.>>
>>
I ran from the room, yelling. I think everyone in the meeting that day was executed. >>
>>
But something from the meeting wouldn't die in my mind. I tried to keep my mind pure. I would punish myself for the bad thoughts. A memory of pain, blood. Reaching for the strange book that I found in the rubble of the building where the meeting was.>>
>>
"If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away.">>
>>
The knife in my other hand. Every nerve of my body telling me to stop, but something deep inside forcing me on, making sure I would never think of this treachery again.>>
>>
But it didn't work. The pain, if anything, merely burned the memories into my mind. I could not escape. I slowly fell, deeper, and deeper, sliding into an endless pit. My happiness seemed to become the slightest bit dull, and, I felt strange, restless.>>
> >
Then, another meeting. Same darkness, secrecy. This time, I was transfixed by the speakers. At first, in the way one cannot turn his gaze away from a gruesome car accident. But slowly, the horror faded, and the messages reached my mind. By the end, I could not return to my old life.>>
> >
Returning home, my soul on fire. The bulletin. The chance to become a Red, to work for the cause.>>
> >
The application. The urgency in Mr. Green’s voice. The transport. A strange creature appearing.>>

Then, nothing.>>
> >
As the doors of the cylinder slide open, light floods in, searing my eyes. My mind is jolted back to the present.>>
> >
I step out, and survey the scene. The others standing around. The beast in front of me. My crushed body.>>
> >
I have seen death before. But to see one’s own death. It is fascinating. I take a moment to admire this event, as I walk to my corpse, and collect my belongings.>>
> >
Then, back to business. By now, everyone in Alpha Complex must know we’re here. We’ve lost any chance of a surprise attack on the smooth operators. But every passing second gives them a chance to prepare for us further.>>
> >
Seeing as everyone else is too busy planning the attack for any chance of an actual attack to occur soon enough, I walk forward. Step on the first stair. My legs propel me up the staircase. My new body feels strong, complete. Second stair. Third stair. This time, I don’t even glance back at the others. Forth stair. Fifth stair. The gun by my side comforts me, makes me feel alive. Sixth stair. Seventh stair. Eighth stair. Finally at the door.>>
> >
I reach my hand out, turn the doorknob, and give the door a solid heave.>>

{plunK's mind continues to wander......it has seemed like DAYS since that unfortunate whale style heart attack death, and yet......he still has not reappeared in a new clone....he feel's scammed.....but he is noit angry, because now he can fly through walls}

I look round as I hear the door click open.

"That's odd... the door was shut, and the only way to open it was by turning the Yellow door handle. Trog, did you just open that door..."

As I am about to step through the door, I hear my name.

I quietly reply, so as to not let anyone inside notice my presence, "Nope. I can guarentee you that I did not turn a Yellow door handle and open this door. (Which is not technically even a lie. It was a Yellow door knob, not a handle) It must have came loose when that thing over there", I say, pointing at the massive lump of rotting whale flesh," was thrashing around. But now that it's open, we might as well go in..."

"Hmm. It's a good thing you didn't touch the door handle then, although that does sound like a rather nitpicky reason. What about the Yellow door knob? Did you touch that instead?"

I step inside. It takes my eyes a second to adjust to the change in brightness.

I seem to hear my name being called from the outside, but I'm not going to waste time going back out to answer. And shouting back would give away my position.

Hopefully the others will come in too. But if not, I'll just have to kill these "Smooth Operators" myself.