Considering how I didn't even want to wake up this morning and almost skipped school, today's school day turned out quite productive. =o

The first scribble I'm going to show you was inspired by and drawn during a History lesson..
We got a paper about The July Revolution in France 1830, which revolve for a great part around a certain "Charles X", one of the former kings of France...
The first time I read that, I chuckled because "Charles X" made me think of... funny images.
So in today's lesson, a girl from my class read out her homework.. and she kept saying not "Charles the Tenth", but really "Charles X"!
The rest of the story is history.




French class was even better.
In a sudden bout of inspiration, I started scribbling a girl on the side of a French worksheet...
And the result is the first real drawing of Fawriel's girlfriend in the story he's the main character of, designed after this (old) drawing: http://www.deviantart.com/view/20023189/

Meet Jaime H. Gardant: Big Version Small Version


I hope you like the pictures. Especially the second. The first one lacks a certain.. something to make it worth a belly-laugh.
As for criticism.. go easy on Jaime. D= Criticizing Charles X is fine as long as you consider that it was drawn with a biro. ;o

Well, my comments on ICQ when you showed me these pictures where just "W00t!" and "XD". You deserve better. =d

Soo, I'll say that I like Jaime a lot. =D
She doesn't exactly look like the girl you met in Paris, but if you had that picture as desktop background for months like me, you'll certainly notice the similiarities. Especially the shy face reminds me a lot of the other picture.

Nice work. =D
If all of your characters are as good as this one, I'll certainly read the finished Manga with joy.

*edit*

Oh, and nice new avatar. =d

Well done.

But your girlfriend isn't wearing a bra. Don't blame me for noticing that first...

Originally Posted by White Rabbit

Well done.

But your girlfriend isn't wearing a bra. Don't blame me for noticing that first...

XD

Now that you mention it...

*cough*

I get to criticize before Rad. >D *laughs maniacally*

I'm not gonna bother with the first because it's... well... yeah. As for Jaime (YAY, we can stop calling her Faw's Love now!) I'll start with what I like. You did a good job with facial proportions. Her eyes, eyebrows and forehead all look about right, and she has pretty eyes (don't laugh). I also like her Haruko hair. Everytime I see the lady in the Tic Tac commercials her Haruko hair makes me smile, so ++hair that like. And now for meanness. D=
Her neck isn't centered. It's more towards her left shoulder (her left, our right). Her face is sort of undefined, so maybe if you brought out the indentions where her eyes are and made her have a prominent muzzle she would look more distinct and less flat. Right now she looks to have a human face with no nose and two holes for nostrils. I know that's, like, "anime," but a furry's face should look a little more animalish. I think we're seeing too much of her right ear considering the angle, and you might want to have her legs spread slightly. You like drawing that pose, but not many people stand that way (I stumble if I try, but I'm a clutz so I don't count). Now start telling me how wrong I am.
Overall, good job. I'm glad to see you working on character designs again (it seems like it's been a while). You know I want to say something about her hair rising too high... but I can't because it's your style and I'll just have to accept it. Keep it up Faw (and start drawing that comic or I'll start yelling at you, in a loving and friendly way).

u broke my heart dev D=

Well, yeah, I see what you mean. ;/
But the drawing is, like, 4-5 inches big.. I wouldn't have dared to put in more details lest I mess up the whole picture. D=

It's kind of ironic that your description of the Louvre girl on DA fits better to Jaime.

Ah, well that is a factor. D= But when you're working on something small just remember those guys who can draw things on grains of rice, and you'll be INSPIRED or something! =D

I'm not fit to criticise her breasts, though. *waits for Rad or Dal to show up and save the day*

Dev you perfectionist! >O

Really, I wouldn't have noticed the thing with the neck if you hadn't criticised it. =d

Originally Posted by LittleFreak

Dev you perfectionist! >O

Really, I wouldn't have noticed the thing with the neck if you hadn't criticised it. =d

Faw needs his mistakes pointed out to him, though, or he'll keep making them. You might not have noticed the mistake with her neck, but a professional artist would have, and Faw wants to be a professional artist some day. He's got to get better if he wants to be taken seriously in the competitive world of manga illustration, and for that he needs criticism.

Yeah, you're probably right. =d

I should learn to criticise better, I'll have to anyway, as art pupil.

Originally Posted by Dev

Faw needs his mistakes pointed out to him, though, or he'll keep making them. You might not have noticed the mistake with her neck, but a professional artist would have, and Faw wants to be a professional artist some day. He's got to get better if he wants to be taken seriously in the competitive world of manga illustration, and for that he needs criticism.

I would've noticed them by tomorrow at the latest. ;o

I dunno, 'Charles X' more puts me in mind of a SPACE-AGE SPACE KING then a superhero king.

Curse you, Dev and your evil faster-than-Radium powers D=. Anyway, I haven't done the critic thing for a while, so if you disagree on something please point it out.

First I'd like to say you've improved. The rest of this post is going to be nothing but negative comments. Don't take that offensively, just presume I liked anything I didn't complain about.

Okay, first, Charles X (in my classes we have similar fun with Pope Leo X). Two main things strike me as being wrong with this picture. The first is the pose. You're making a common mistake where you act as though you are drawing him in two dimensions (you actually are, but it's not supposed to look like that). Both arms are positioned as though he's laying dead on the ground; nothing is coming towards or away from the viewer. His arm with the Spanish (??) flag looks awkward being perfectly straight like that, and his other arm is in a position that's actually kind of painful. Remember, for something to have depth it doesn't only need things overlapping, but things coming towards the viewer.
The other thing is the (presumed) wind. His cape is being blown right, and his Spanish (?????) flag is being blown almost straight up. Making all the blowy things go in the same direction will help unify the picture. Since you want the flag to be visible, a wind going up and to the right might work well, but the cape would need to reflect that.
As for more minor things, another problem I notice is his hands. Both hands are clenched around something, though his fingers don't wrap all the way around. His neck seems a bit thin for a superhero parody type. Also, his feet could use a little bit of work; this is the most minor thing ever, but I think the middle part needs more definition to separate feet from wedges. And superhero feet are fun to draw.

EDIT: I completely missed the "go easy on Jamie" part. I felt bad and removed the rest pf this post.

Que Passa!!!!

Well, you already KNOW what I think... And I'm still looking for any more of your stuff...

Originally Posted by Radium

Curse you, Dev and your evil faster-than-Radium powers D=. Anyway, I haven't done the critic thing for a while, so if you disagree on something please point it out.

First I'd like to say you've improved. The rest of this post is going to be nothing but negative comments. Don't take that offensively, just presume I liked anything I didn't complain about.

Okay, first, Charles X (in my classes we have similar fun with Pope Leo X). Two main things strike me as being wrong with this picture. The first is the pose. You're making a common mistake where you act as though you are drawing him in two dimensions (you actually are, but it's not supposed to look like that). Both arms are positioned as though he's laying dead on the ground; nothing is coming towards or away from the viewer. His arm with the Spanish (??) flag looks awkward being perfectly straight like that, and his other arm is in a position that's actually kind of painful. Remember, for something to have depth it doesn't only need things overlapping, but things coming towards the viewer.
The other thing is the (presumed) wind. His cape is being blown right, and his Spanish (?????) flag is being blown almost straight up. Making all the blowy things go in the same direction will help unify the picture. Since you want the flag to be visible, a wind going up and to the right might work well, but the cape would need to reflect that.
As for more minor things, another problem I notice is his hands. Both hands are clenched around something, though his fingers don't wrap all the way around. His neck seems a bit thin for a superhero parody type. Also, his feet could use a little bit of work; this is the most minor thing ever, but I think the middle part needs more definition to separate feet from wedges. And superhero feet are fun to draw.

French.
And you are right. I'm still going to excuse myself by saying that I didn't really put effort into the finer parts of the picture and I didn't use guidelines and etc.
I would've uploaded it to Comedy Cafe, but it's not good enough for that, either. D=
It lacks POW. You know, like, a dramatic background and dramatic pose and stuff.

Originally Posted by Rad

EDIT: I completely missed the "go easy on Jamie" part. I felt bad and removed the rest pf this post.

You presumably evil person.
And *of

French is three vertical stripes of three different colors, isn't it? That flag is Spanish, I say D=

Originally Posted by Fawriel

You presumably evil person.

Would you like me to put it back? I don't think it's that harsh, I'm just being safe.

By God, Radium is right! You've humiliated the sacred Tricolours!

...by god, you are right. D=
...Spain and France are totally the same.