Apr 9, 2006, 05:31 PM | |
Finale
I don't know why I wrote this. Maybe it was just out of nostalgia. This will only make sense to a few. It's amazing to see how the community has changed over the years.
The End of Surreal or The Death of Tyio Space is cold and silent. It has that kind of horrible stillness that a tomb has. But the stars can always look at you, equally silent, white guardians, watching everything. “It’s so lonely in space.” He looked down at his hand. Dull red fur. He felt so tired. He tried to remember what had happened before. He had been important, he had been someone worth caring about, he had travelled across space and time, had seen things most people can only dream of. He had hated, and he had loved, and somehow, he was happy. “How long has it been? How many centuries?” He looked, with his liquiscent eyes, through the glass to the blue and green planet. The sun was just rising over it’s edge. He hadn’t been important after they all died, he hadn’t been important after the wars stopped. He lived in a world that didn’t need it’s heroes or it’s gods anymore. A world at peace is a world where warriors have no reason to exist anymore. He had been alone for centuries. For how many of those years had he been just drifting like this? He couldn’t remember anymore. “Tyio. That’s what my name was.” He had lived in seclusion, as the cities sprawled and the forests sucummbed, as culture advanced and generations passed and Tyio remained ever the same. Forgotten by time itself. He reached forward to touch the glass of the one-man pod. He felt so weak, could feel the weight of his chest as his lungs strained to breathe; his body had been stretched unnaturally over time it wasn’t meant for. Yes, there had been adventure. There had been good times, and there had been bad. He had been cold, just like the space on the other side of the glass. He had been shunned and set apart from the others. Something about his blood -- he couldn’t quite remember. He had reacted with violence and anger, that was just his way. But really it was because he wanted to be with those which his birth had set him apart from. People he loved. He didn’t like the barrier, and he was lonely inside. Just like he was lonely floating in space. There had been wars. Great intergalactic wars, upon whose results the fate of the universe had rested, and he had fought. But when he fought, he really didn’t feel anything. When he was younger he had heard people telling stories of how they felt great and courageous and mighty in battle, but Tyio had never felt so. He just felt empty, like he always did, empty and apart from others, from the people he loved. In those wars, people had died, friends, more like family really. There was one named Aldan, and another, was her name Ducky? Maybe he was just imagining things. When you’ve been alone for so long, the difference between what’s real and what’s in your mind starts to not matter anymore. “Did it ever really matter?” Every time one of them died, he died a little bit too. Soon no one remembered his deed and his name, or cared about how he felt, and if no one knows you exist, you really don’t exist, do you? He just never knew someone who didn’t exist could feel so much pain. He had retreated, in his hermitage, to a small cottage near the sites of his great deeds on Carrotous. At first being alone didn’t seem so bad, but it was something that crept on with ages, as he watched the world leave him behind. When he was young, he had been important, and then he wasn’t important for a long, long time. Now, he was important again, because he was the last person alive in the universe. Rabbits, and indeed, all sentient species, seemed inextricably bound to their technology. Technology always advanced, it seems written in the DNA. One could almost say that rabbits and technology are one in the same thing; if we couldn’t use tools, would we really be the same thing at all? That’s why, when technology offered a way out of the pain and suffering of living, of being alone and being apart from others, naturally everyone took that way out. Technology was their savior. “ ‘Vanity of vanities, all is vanity.’ Sacrificing everything for knowledge. Eating of the fruit of good and evil. It’s our nature. Bah!” Tyio would have none of it. He liked being alone, for he had been with no one that remembered his name for decades. The cities were empty now, the world was totally quiet, like at the end, things had returned to the very beginning. After centuries, Tyio wondered why death hadn’t come for him. After millenia, he realized that the universe would not allow it’s lass inhabitant to pass so easily. That’s when he wandered into the old capital. Places where he had once been with friends were gone. On the streets and everywhere were laid the clothes, empty markers of where they had once stood, covered with the debris of eons. He had launched himself into space, for he wanted to die. He didn’t want to exist anymore. He just wanted it to be still and silent. How many thousands of years had it been? Yet the moon still rotated around Carrotous, and the blue planet still rotated. The sun still shone, and the stars still twinkled. And he floated, the last artifact testifying that people did once exist in the universe. He was alone, and that was alright. Or was it? He remembered what it was like to love her, to be happy with her and with them. He remembered wanting to be close to them, to break down his walls, to feel their contact. He couldn’t exist without them. How can the signifier exist without the signified? He existed in their minds, and so that added to his existance, and they existed in his mind, and so they were real. “But there’s no one, no one left at all. Maybe I really don’t exist anymore. Maybe this is just an illusion.” He paused, and thought about it. It was getting very hard to thing; he was very, very old. “But I can feel it. So weither it’s real or not doesn’t matter. I think it’s real so it is.” That comforted him for a while, as his little pod, like a message in a bottle, rotated his view away from the dawn. But then he thought of something else. “There is no one, there can be no one, but that doesn’t mean I’m not lonely. This is what I wanted though, right? ... No! No, it’s not! I...I shouldn’t have been cruel, I should have had empathy, I wouldn’t wish the pain I feel now on anyone. I shouldn’t have isolated myself from others, I should have touched them, learned their inner hearts, because how can I exist without the other.” He let his hand droop, floating in the weightlessness, and he began to cry, the tears tiny spheres floating before his eyes. He sobbed out, “I was wrong! I was so wrong! Oh, God! I want to take it all back! I don’t want to be alone anymore!” Silence. Nothing. But then, he squinted. He thought he was facing the sun again, but no, he realized it was different. Blinding white light in all directions. He saw them approach, walking towards him in the white field. God-like beings, but he knew them, he knew each of their names. “But...how?” They spoke with one, gentle, comforting voice. “It was always within your power to accept your true nature. It was always within your power to let go of your pain and embrace our joy as one, where I and Other are joined perfectly, and there are no more walls, and existance is infinite.” The glass shattered, the pod dissapeared, and he felt his old body floating into their arms. They were tears of joy now. “How is this possible?” “We have liberated ourselves. We have removed war and hunger and disease and poverty and all sadness and loneliness. But all of us have been waiting for you to join us, before we move on together.” They held him, and he felt renewed again, fresh and clean, like a baby in the womb. “Was it real? Were all these thousands of years real or in my mind?” “It doesn’t matter. We’re all together now.” And that's how Tyio died. the end
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"And so it begins." "If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die." "We are all Kosh." -Kosh, Babylon 5 |
Apr 9, 2006, 10:49 PM | |
...whoa, I was just thinking of you earlier today, wondering what had been going on in the Tavern lately. Nice story. I don't go in for spiritual stuff too much but this seemed pretty good.
One little note... it doesn't make too much sense to have “But...how?” They spoke with one, gentle, comforting voice. as one line. Unless I'm very confused, Tyio is saying that, not everyone else. |
Apr 9, 2006, 11:51 PM | |
Not all stars are white you know.
This makes an awful lot of sense, but not the way you intended I think; I was having thoughts of this nature just this morning.
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![]() nonne amicus certus in re incerta cernitur? /)_/)
(^.^) ((")(") |
Apr 10, 2006, 04:25 PM | |
I missed you too, all of you. Don't think that this is a return or anything, I just wanted you all to know I hadn't completely forgotten where I had spent so much of my life.
It's true, not all stars are white, but all those visible to the naked eye from such an orbit are. And you're absolutely right Unknown, that is an error. However, I wrote this whole thing, more or less as soon as I thought of it, in about 20 minutes, without proofreading it, so it's bound to have some problems.
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"And so it begins." "If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die." "We are all Kosh." -Kosh, Babylon 5 |
Apr 11, 2006, 11:37 PM | ||
Quote:
__________________
![]() nonne amicus certus in re incerta cernitur? /)_/)
(^.^) ((")(") |
Apr 12, 2006, 01:25 AM | |
stars have 75 colors< wow,relly?
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You like it when I talk bad about myself don't you cooba <3 The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing. ![]() ![]() DavidkazBest poster of 2010 ! [GpW] |
Apr 12, 2006, 02:03 AM | |
Oh yes; rad, orange red, red orange , vemillion, carmine....
__________________
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(^.^) ((")(") |
Apr 12, 2006, 01:19 PM | |
Guys, literature is not astronomy.
On that note, very interesting story. I haven't read the previous parts, so I'm sure Copper and Ducky understand it much better. It is quite well written, though, especially for 20 minutes and no proofing.
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GENERATION 22: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment. <i>"This picture shows me that the gray bird man is just a bully and picks on smaller birds. Just because he has no friends and takes it out on others smaller than him to look good. I can see in the parrats eyes that it does however have a understanding of the gray bird man and is upset about getting cut."</i> - Speeza on cartoon birds. |
Apr 12, 2006, 06:12 PM | |
One should be mindful that many of the different colored bodies that appear as stars are, in fact, planets.
But fine, I'm sorry I said there were white. I used my artistic license, drawing a symbolic foil between the white stars and the blackness of space. And to Radium; though it is in the Surreal continuity, that's just to get people's attention, it really is rather stand-alone.
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"And so it begins." "If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die." "We are all Kosh." -Kosh, Babylon 5 |
Apr 13, 2006, 10:16 AM | |
I might, I'm not sure. If I were to I would just post other little short stories like this, to test out different writing techniques, honing my skills for my actual novel.
But I can't say thank you enough, I didn't expect it to be recieved so well ![]()
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"And so it begins." "If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die." "We are all Kosh." -Kosh, Babylon 5 |
Apr 13, 2006, 01:14 PM | ||
Quote:
|
Apr 13, 2006, 07:48 PM | |||
Quote:
And where can I get a licence? Quote:
![]() ![]()
__________________
![]() nonne amicus certus in re incerta cernitur? /)_/)
(^.^) ((")(") |
Apr 14, 2006, 01:31 PM | ||
Quote:
__________________
GENERATION 22: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment. <i>"This picture shows me that the gray bird man is just a bully and picks on smaller birds. Just because he has no friends and takes it out on others smaller than him to look good. I can see in the parrats eyes that it does however have a understanding of the gray bird man and is upset about getting cut."</i> - Speeza on cartoon birds. |
Apr 14, 2006, 04:16 PM | |
Indecent writing.
__________________
![]() nonne amicus certus in re incerta cernitur? /)_/)
(^.^) ((")(") |
Apr 14, 2006, 05:10 PM | |
That's not very nice. While I've only looked at a few pages, it looks like a good piece of work. Plus since it's not really an actual story but a sort of game (atleast as far as I can tell) it should be considered differently.
__________________
"And so it begins." "If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die." "We are all Kosh." -Kosh, Babylon 5 |
Apr 14, 2006, 07:17 PM | |
first thought:
![]() second thought: When you have your actual novel ready, you should inform us. I remember reading your work. It's a certifiably legendary Tavern story. This last piece was great too... sorta deep
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Apr 15, 2006, 04:48 PM | |
I was joking!
*sigh* *bemoans loss of sense of humour in young folk these days*
__________________
![]() nonne amicus certus in re incerta cernitur? /)_/)
(^.^) ((")(") |
Apr 15, 2006, 05:59 PM | |
There's nothing wrong with joking around, but when you un-constructively criticize something someone has put so much of their effort into (i.e. a work of literature) then that crosses a line.
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"And so it begins." "If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die." "We are all Kosh." -Kosh, Babylon 5 |
Apr 16, 2006, 09:31 PM | ||
Quote:
__________________
![]() nonne amicus certus in re incerta cernitur? /)_/)
(^.^) ((")(") |
Apr 17, 2006, 04:50 AM | |
Punish the punnish punner!
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<img src="http://i25.photobucket.com/albums/c100/Ashton_JX/the_web/stupid_prize.gif" border="0" alt="The rodent thingy wasn't worthy."> I would not want anyone having sex with my cocktail. ~ Radium |
Apr 17, 2006, 07:55 AM | |
I'm sorry DD, I guess I got carried away with what you said because of the error of mine you pointed out about stars. I'm still getting used to the way the JCF has changed, so I apologize. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, I've finished the first part of another short story, and will post it shortly in a new topic.
__________________
"And so it begins." "If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die." "We are all Kosh." -Kosh, Babylon 5 |
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