The Daily Rabbitnews

Welcome!
In here you can post (fictional!!!) news about rabbits life in JJ2 universe.

Rules:
News must be fictional like:
The bandits robbed Rabbitvilles bank and escaped.
Not like this:
A new user has made a new tileset.

You can now post your own news here.

Please, wote in the poll, you can choose what could be the name of rabbit's city, we'll post news about that city!

Hopteego Village?

++Vio

Bunnymount!!!

I voted for Los Rabbits, but I think it should really be Los Conejos.

"St. Jazz"

Daily rabbitnews

Devan has stolen an 6th ring attacher component from the citys biggest computer!

Prof. Rabiticus:
Oh no! The computer wont work without the attacher!
Somebody plz, go get it back!

Prof rabitus thougt, that devan is making another timemachine to rewrite the history.
We are wating for new news about the timemachine.

hopteego ftw

Lori Croft has found a new temple in south Africa.
It's a rumour, that there lies a treasure.

We interviewed Lori to get knowledge about his older adventures:

J (journalist):
So, you have found a temple?

L (Lori Croft):
Yes. The locals sayed, that the temple is very dangerous. That's no excuse for me, so I'll try to find something like beautifilu large diamond!

J:
OK. We'll wait for news about the adventure...

L:
Do so!

Originally Posted by Radium

Los Conejos

[FQuist: filter bypass removal]

Here, something I posted...

De Konijn- Carrotus:

Further sordid details emerged today about the long running Tortoise and Hare saga as it emerged that the reason Elizeer Tortoise was able to outrun his opponent Buckminster Hare was not in fact due to his taking anabolic steroids, but rather due to a payout to Mr Hare to throw the competition.

Police revealed early today that the powerful and controversial Conejos family had paid Mr Hare almost half a million credits in cold hard cash to ensure the winning of his opponent. a spokesperson for the police a Mr F. Quist has informed us that: 'This sort of thing isn't that uncommon; organized crime has penetrated all levels of popular sports, especially where there's money to be made.'

The odds against Mr Tortoise winning were set at 133:1, thus allowing the Conejos to place a number of small and isolated bets on the competition and rake in an estimated $4 million credits. Mr Quist was rather despondent about the chances of the Conejos family being reprimanded: 'Frankly, they didn't do anything illegal. Mr Hare will be banned for life for infringement, and fine $200'000, but aside from that, the law is powerless.'

The true extent of suspect activities in sport remains unknown, but some believe it is far more extensive than most people think, pointing out that king Jazz himself has never fully elaborated on how he defeated an galaxy wide empire of almost 20'000 troops single handed and computer giant Epic's contributions to Devan Shell's campaigns."

why did you say the rabbit in dutch ;s

He didn't, that would've been Het konijn.

Originally Posted by n00b

Some of us may of wondered, why did Devan end up so evil? We know why he despises rabbits, but there are many nicer ways to express dislike than attempting to enslave a planet. He has also been described as "hideously dorky", could insults as a kid led to his eventual mental state?
I don't believe so.

Ladies and gentlemen, I have stumbled upon an earth-shattering piece of information, so secret it is banned in America and Europe.

My fellow Jazz Fans, Devan is evil because as a child he was... a nazi.

Need proof? There is photographic evidence right here:

Need even more proof? In the cartoon, the young turtle is referred to by his commander as "SCHIEL!" or however you spell a stereotypical german accent saying "Shell". Which as we all know is Devan's last name.

The brothers Warner may have tried to hide the secret of Devan's past, but thanks to YouTube and punks who decide stuff shouldn't be banned (or that it's just funny because Bugs and Daffy fighting nazis!!) the truth has been revealed.

So as the n00b revealed Devans mysterious past, we are still looking for more information about him! Still, we don't have any clue why would he had to create numerous armies of turtles? What was the thing to help him to be a leader?! Why all those turtles around the galaxy are in his slavery? Anyone who knows? Huh? Now, you young (and not so youngish) detectives, go and show us a full archive of the Devans live before he became an evil genius? why is he so smart?

Thanks again n00b!

If someone knows, by the way, we're looking info about this guy too:

Thanks, that would be his relative, maybe a brother, who knows...

By The way:

Those smoke rings he blobs out of the thing might be bubbles containing strong turtle beer, wich makes only rabbits dizzy!

They're car exhaust fumes, they guy's a petrol head. (And we know how bad they are for your health!)

You know what is weird about those city names? We are humans but we don't call our cities Homo Sapiensville or Humanopolis. That would be awkward to live in a city like that. For a city name id say id vote for Luxemburrow.

You make a very good point, many town, especially the older ones are named after the landscape, the names of the people/tribe living there, other cities (New York, New England...)

As the Devan has seen in Bugs Bunny show as Schiell, Would Jazz be somehow related to Bugs Bunny?

Know something about this? Let us know!

no.

Actually, he's got a good point, Jazz has engaged in many bugesque antics over the years, especially in Jazz 1, and with a background like his, you can never tell.

Originally Posted by Kax

As the Devan has seen in Bugs Bunny show as Schiell, Would Jazz be somehow related to Bugs Bunny?

Because Lola Bunny is also Eva's cousin ;o!

Um, no. They look completely different. The only thing that they share is that they're rabbits.

In other news a new city has been made! It has been called "St. Jackrabbit" in honour of Carrotus hero King Jazz Jackrabbit. It lies south of Carrotus City on the coast.

Um, no. They look completely different. The only thing that they share is that they're rabbits.

The only similarity we had with Devan was being a turtle and having a similar sounding name. I agree, cousins.

In other news

devan had a sex change , and now goes by the name devanina , her life has changed around

devanina said: my life is a lot better , im no longer attracted to eva so im no longer evil , my new hobbies include bally , noob danceing , and beer testing , i like my new look very much and i think the uterus thinks im hot. peace to all the rabbits

we ask jazzjackrabbit what he thinks

jazz said:what the (-)

we then went later on to talk to eva who said

I love devanina shes like a great friend we go shopping and everything , I think she is great

BUT WE GOT A VERY NEGATIVE RESPONSE FROM LORI

lori saidk (-)(-)(-) why would devan be a girl seriousy its just another trick , eva likes her more now , more than lovable me , i mean this is me , lori rabbit , im the best , its me who she should want not , that (-)

we then went to ask devanina husband uterus what he things

uterus said:sssssllyyysssslllly

very strong words

A winner is you.

HEADLINE NEWS: CRAZY KIDS HACK INTO PRESS COMPUTERS

Recently, a group of young pranksters hacked into the Daily Rabbitnews printing devices and computers, allowing them to edit and change the newspapers we print i luv u tecno cottontail!!11!!! at their whim, a few even creating their own untrue articles and editing existing ones to confuse the populace. 1337 n00bzor Our staff is working dilligently to fix this probl YOU ARE STUPID AND IDIOTS LOL ROFL LMTO em.

Oh no.
Were trying to fix that.
Uh oh!

What do you think, shall we write an article to Earlong royal encyclopedia about our online newspaper?

Originally Posted by Ryder

(really long post)

Funniest thing in this topic so far.