Then throw Unfooruman down the right hallway as far and fooily as possible. See what happens.

No. We will only do that if there seems to be nothing wrong with the Left Hall.

Hey! This isn't dead yet! Give it a couple more weeks.

Fooruman looked around and immediately knew what he should do. He grabbed Unfooruman by the horns or tusks or whatever they are and threw him as far as possible down the left hall. There was a massive explosion, which conveniently opened up a path through which to escape the castle. As Unfooruman's miscellaneous body parts fell from the sky in the form of a fine red powder, Fooruman pondered what to do.

Fooruman pondered what to do.

Collect remains of Unfooruman in his backpack and run through the left hall in hope of finding something useful.

This topic? Dead? Absolutely not!

Fooruman, thinking fast, grabbed his backpack and stuffed the remains of Unfooruman in it. He then ran down the left hall as fast as he could. Near the end of the seventeen-mile-long hallway, there was a single urinal. There was also a door directly to the left of it, with a giant saying "please do not urinate on the door" hanging atop the handle.

WHATCHA GONNA DO WHEN THEY COME FOR YOU

Hurry down the drain.

Urinate. And describe the entire process in every delicious, juicy detail.


(WHAT THE. OK. THAT HAS GOT TO THE WEIRDEST THING THAT'S HAPPENED TO ME IN YEARS. I WROTE THIS REPLY JUST TRYING TO BE WEIRD, ONLY HAVING READ A LITTLE OF THE FIRST PAGE AND NONE OF THIS PAGE. THEN I SCROLLED UP TO SEE WHAT WAS ACTUALLY GOING ON. WHATTTTTTTT? THAT'S JUST F'D UP. I think that's got to be a sign of something. Maybe a revival of the story. Wow. Wowwww. That's too weird.)

After a mere year-long hiatus, The Mighty Adventure of Fooruman returns!

Fooruman knew deep down in his heart that urinating in the designated urinal would surely be some type of trap. Knowing this, he wisely lifted up his robe and proceeded to urinate on the door. "Good thing I was going commando-style today," he laughed to himself. His business done, he quickly scurried down the drain of the decoy urinal.
-----
After what seemed like ages, Fooruman arrived at the end of the drain. Deploying his well-known and often-convenient "Killer" foo spell, he destroyed the grate blocking his way to freedom. Upon crawling out of it, he found himself in a stunning new world. Above him, hovercars blasted through the sky. To the right of him was a giant banner the color of the rainbow, proclaiming to the world "sale on mustard today only!" Behind him, where the drain had once been, there was nothing. He looked at his magical always-correct blood-powered watch, and saw that it was July 12th, 4371. Using all of his cunning and wisdom, Fooruman pondered for seven fortnights. Finally, he said to himself, "Well, it's a good thing I went to the bathroom first."

What now? Only one (or more) of you knows!

Check Unfooruman's remains, if nothing happens then proceed to ask somebody what happened in the last 2362 years.

After mere minutes of staring blankly at the ground below him, Fooruman had a masterful plan. Pulling out the bag containing Unfooruman's charred and rotted remains, Fooruman took in a deep breath. "Smells good," he proclaimed, and then ate the bag's contents. Not satisfied, he then ate the bag. "Well," he thought to himself, "perhaps I should see what's happened this past decade or so." Summoning all of his strength, Fooruman summoned a massive stormcloud. Its mighty beam of lightning struck, knocking 14 hovercars out of the air. Two passengers survived the impact, which pleased Fooruman. "You there," he yelled at the frightened man and his wife, "do you have directions to the nearest Burger King?"
-----
After eating his seventeenth cheeseburger, Fooruman felt satisfied. He then walked up to the counter to find out what was going on. "You there, burger slave," he shouted.

"Yes sir, would you like another 17 cheeseburgers?"

"Yes please. Also, tell me every detail of human history over the past hundred years or whatever it's been since 2009."

"Okay. Well, in 2013, Burger King bought out McDonald's. Then, in 2358, Burger King bought out Yum! Brands incorporated, giving them control of Taco Bell, KFC, and the like. Finally, in 3579, Simon Burgermeister was made the 'burger lord of all humans.' His castle is in New Jersey."

"Ah," Fooruman said, "so this Burgermeister rules the world."

"Yeah, pretty much. Also, that'll be $18.57."

"Silence, burger slave." Fooruman then pondered whether he should get more burgers or just go try to overthrow the burger lord.

Walk out without paying.

After using all his mighty brainpower for a mere 27 hours to think, Fooruman, not wanting to add to the burger lord's already massive funds, decided to leave without paying. He destroyed the restaurant in a cloud of smoke and flame with the flick of his pinky finger and the utterance of the word "Killer." Suddenly, in another cloud of gas and burger grease, Fooruman passed gas - however, this was no ordinary bowel movement! You see, the combination of 17 cheeseburgers and the ruined remains of Unfooruman caused a miracle - Unfooruman was reborn in a completely disgusting way! Fooruman's jaw fell open as he turned around and faced his enemy.

"Why hello there old friend," Fooruman practically sang.

"What?" Unfooruman stuttered. "We're not friends at all! And I can't really remember, but it seems like you killed me."

"Nonsense. It was some sort of bomb that killed you!" Fooruman exclaimed as he walked forward and gave Unfooruman a hug. After about twenty minutes of agonizing awkwardness, Fooruman spoke again. "So, basically, we're a couple years in the future. I think ten or something. Anyway, there's a new taco man who rules the universe, and you and I need to overthrow him!"

Unfooruman laughed. "Why would I possibly want to help you overthrow some 'taco man'?


WHAT NOW PEOPLES?

Figure out where Black Ninja went. If I'm not mistaken, he was revived by Unfooruman and didn't specifically die at any point after that.

-----
Unfooruman groaned. "It's been more than 24 hours since I asked why I should help you overthrow this 'taco man,' and I'm pretty sure there isn't even any taco man to overthrow."

Finally, Black Ninja spoke up from behind Fooruman. "Because ---"

Fooruman zipped around gracefully in a perfect half-circle and punched his ally in the face as swiftly and with as much force as he could, using his magical glove made of dynamite. The punch, combined with a mighty controlled explosion, knocked out all but two of BN's teeth and obliterated the majority of his skull. "You startled me, Black Ninja! Where have you been all this time?"

"Right behind you, sir," Black Ninja groaned as he coughed, choking on a dislodged molar.

"Oh," Fooruman gasped, "You should be more careful! You know I never look back there these days." Fooruman turned around. "Now, Unfooruman, we've been friends a long time, so I think you owe me one!"

Unfooruman sighed. "How many times do we have to go over this? We're not friends. Not at all. My name is even 'UNfooruman.' Could it be any more obvious that we are enemies?"

Fooruman laughed. "Aww, you're so cute when it's that time of the month. Come, let us go defeat that ice cream demon!" Fooruman turned around again to face his loyal servant, only to find him passed out on the ground. "Unfooruman," Fooruman shouted, "pick up my manservant and let's go!"

Unfooruman groaned again. "I'll help you this time, fool, but know that when this battle is over, our battle will continue. Now, let's be smart about this. The 'ice cream man' lives in New Jersey, it would seem. We could head straight there, but we might get destroyed on sight if he's as powerful as that fast food drone implied. It might behoove us to acquire some allies."

Fooruman was furious. "First of all, I thought it was a taco man we were after. Second, you don't have hooves!"


What will our heroes do next? Will Fooruman ever get hit hard enough in the head to start using his brain? Will Black Ninja survive the mighty pummeling delivered him by his boss? Only you know!

Head to New Jersey.

In case of a hostile situation on the way, use Unfooruman as a living missile.