Originally Posted by Risp

I rolled a snowball from the snow and slung it at the ....sdoor.

!!! CrazyT like stuff \o/

No, this has nothing to do with the crazyt. I just felt that the word door should start with an S.

I scooped up the nadian and the toy ca into my bottle. I pointed at the man and took a dramatic pose. "I'm sorry for greenpeace," I said, and left amid the confused looks of much lesser-minded people.
I walked down the road west, then entered the park. I could tell it was a park because there was a large sign hanging over the enterace read "park".
The park was mostly empty, with a few circular trials that didn't really go anywhere and a lot of shrubbery. The center was cleared of all shrubs and had a man and a booth in it, though. The man, seeing me, cheerfully shouted, "I'm a stamp collector! Look at my amazing array of stamps!"
I looked at the large board hanging behind him, and agreed that his collection of stamps was amazing. About half of them seemed to be crudely made from paper, and one was a peice of cardboard with a stamp badly drawn on it in crayon. "I'm willing to pay anybody who can bring me a rare and unique stamp! Like those ones!" For some reason, he was still shouting. So, I decided to shout back, "Okay," instead of just say it. I did, and he didn't seem to mind.

Tell the man you have a very rare and unique foreign stamp, and hand him the Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla serlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire.

I took out the largest, least stamplike thing in my inventory and showed it to him, proudly. However, all he said was, "Now, I may be nearsighted almost to the point of blindness, but that huge ball of junk does not look like a stamp to me."
He paused for a moment. I started to hold my breath. "I've been brought exotic stamps from all four corners of the world. Stamps found floating in outer space, stamps discovered deep underground, stamps granted by the gods," he said, gesturing wildly at various dirty and fake-looking stamps on his board, "but they all have had two things in common. One, they all have been thin and flat. Two, they have all had some sort of tacky picture drawn on printed on them. Your 'stamp' doesn't meet either qualification."
I nodded sadly, my face as blue as my soul.

Touch Pandora's Isle on the Magic Map. Walk to the trading post, trade a few hundred dollars for the Photograph, and another few hundred for the Blue Rectangle.

The 10 billion canadian dollars are counted as one item. You can't just buy the entire inventory of the post by dividing your money supply into tiny, worthless amounts.

In that case, just tell the stamp man to be careful, then return to the academy.

Compass D=

On a side note, remember that there's a savepoint on Antifoo before you do something stupid.

Save, then sell your soul for godlike powers.

Okay, after seeing MSB's command AE's looks good.

I waved the stamp man goodbye and walked north to the teleporter. I spent a while doing dances around it and shouting at it till I decided to just step in it. I found myself back in the magic academy. Araches looked up from a book, with what looked to be the word 'Book' printed on the cover. "Well? Did you get anything done or were you just going for a walk?"

"You know just as well as I do that I almost never have a purpose for anything I do. What's the name of that book you're reading?"

"You know just as well as I do that I never have a purpose for what I do," I said, then changed the subject (I find that speaking of my awesomeness often disquiets people). "What's that book you are reading called?"
Araches glared at me. "Can't you read? The title is written on the cover."
She showed me the book. The cover said 'Book', and below that in smaller letters 'of Magic' then in even smaller letters 'seventy-fifth edition'.

Open it up and see if it is interesting. Try to learn a spell.

Originally Posted by Radium

Compass D=

I didn't know which way it was from the park, we had to go west to get to either, so I just assumed it was next to the park.

Screw compass.
As if anyone except the DM knew how to move to get to places.
And only the DM has any idea what could be done to actually ADVANCE on this QUEST...

I think we have to sell something to the stamp man, buy a pie from the bakerknight, or find Scholar Sam.

Two of those things you listed as goals are part of the puzzle you all need to solve. The other isn't. I won't tell you which is which. It would help if you could figure out what the puzzle is, but you suck at finding things.

I tried to snatch the book from Araches, but she didn't let me. "Just because I showed the book to you doesn't mean you can have it!"

Ask if there is any news of Scholar Sam.

"So, any news of Scholar Sam?" I asked, trying to sound cool and laid-back. And noticed Araches had left to the other end of the room. Faw, who was also in hearing range, shook his head. I began to shake my head too, out of sympathy.

Look around the room for a note he might have left, don't forget to check under the bookcase.

I searched for a full two minutes for notes, then got bored of the idea and just wrote a note for myself and found it. I was delighted at how complementary and informative it was. I considered showing my discovery to my group.

Don't show it to them; just crumple it up and discard it. Ask if anyone can spare one canadian dollar to aid your quest.

I tried to crumple up the note then remembered I had written it on my forehead.
I took a dramatic pose, and cleared my throat. "The 'buy Uberbob pies' fund is of need of one more canadian dollar. Do you wish to have a pieless Uberbob on your conscience? Please, donate today."
Everybody looked at me strangely. Nobody offered up any canadian money. I guess they were all too poor.

I don't know what else to do.

Ask Fawriel to come with you, and lead him out the teleporter and west to the bakery. Show him the pies.

"Faw, folow me."
Faw shrugged and walked to me.
We walked into the teleporter and appeared in the Megatropolis. I shouted, "Let's go... to PIES!" and ran west and straight into the wall of a neighboring building. Faw did not seem to share my initiative, and had started walking south.

Lead him EAST to the bakery, and show him the pies. Comment on how much the party needs one.

The only path is to the south.

South it is!

I followed Faw south, and found myself, amazingly, on some of the empty roads south of the teleporter! Faw started going east. He apparently had a fairly good idea of where we were going. I, for one, had already forgotten.

Follow him.

I followed Faw east and north and found myself in the bakery. I was deeply amazed at Faw's magic. He was more astonished by the pies. The baker looked at me with a distainful look, but only a bit of puzzlement at Faw.

Ask him if he will help you find a Canadian dollar somewhere. Take him EAST* to tour the Stamp stand.

...fine, fine, fine. Let me make a little ASCII map.

Teleporter            Bakery
      |                |
   Roads     -   Canadian Guy   -   Hotel
      |                |
Stamp Man             Pier

Anyway, I'll pretend you gave correct directions this time. But no more now that you have a (coughincompletecough) map of the island.

"Now it's time to leave!" I tapped Faw on the back. He turned to me.
"Aww, but we just got here." He tried to give me a mournful puppy-eyed stare. "Do we have to leave yeeeet?"
I was a bit annoyed at how obstinate he was, and just said, "No," and dragged him to the stamp man. I'm so buff I can drag a person in full chain mail around by the neck!
I put him down in front of the stamp man. "Hello, mister stamp man, and will you meet my friend... whatshisname... that green guy..."
"Faw," said Faw.
"Yeah, him. Can I introduce him to you?"
The stamp man looked at me funnily. "Yes, you can. You just did."
"Oh," I said. I hadn't looked at things that way.

Go North, East, South to the pier, and look around. Make sure Faw comes as well.

I dragged Faw to the pier, and he was too tired to protest. I looked around it. It was made of wood and raised from the water- much more then normal for piers due to the greatly lowered water level. There was a great lack of ships, money, and clues around the pier. I did find an anchor embedded in one of the piles, though, and began to contoct an elaborate backstory involving an extrodinarily strong sailor, a couple sea-ninjas, and an exciting hunt for buried treasure in the pier. I fumbled around searching for a pen to write it down but found none on my person.

Rush back to the north, and west to the teleporter. Tell everybody that you found something, and they need to come. Lead them back to the pier.

I considered running around excitedly about finding an anchor near the pier, but Faw said, "No."
It's amazing how he was able to read my mind so well there! Expecially after I had spent several minutes staring at the anchor and then started to walk back to the teleporter!

Grab Faw and warp to Pandora's Island

What do you propose we do when we get there?