ok gang here's the fix up chapter 1 and i am also posting up chapter2 but they are still drafts and i still need some ideas for what's going to happen right know at this point i would like to thank novastar and n00b. n00b because he gave me the idea of jazz and eva fighting at the start and novastar for letting me use his character. ok heres the two chapters

Chapter 1
After jazz jack rabbit 2 jazz finally thinks it is safe to pop the question to eva and they got married and have kids. Jazz, Spaz and Lori retired after there last adventure and they settled down to life a nice peaceful live in there home. But one day jazz and eva have a big fight and the kids over hear it and they decide to go out side before anything bad happens. They stumble across devan shells old base and they find a machine that was covered with dust and cobwebs. One of the kid’s say they should go home and tell there parents about what they found but the others wanted to use it to find out what it does. The kid that wanted to tell there parents caved in and help them activate the machine. It opened a vortex and the kids got sucked into it. After a few hours jazz and eva make up and they are a bit worried about the kids so jazz gets spaz and lori to help look for them. After 2 days of looking they go back home to where there was a letter for jazz. Jazz opens the letter it is from devan shell in it is a micro disc that jazz puts in his pc and it pops up with a video and devan says: well jazz long time no see didn’t expect to see me again did you. Well jazz if you ever want to see your kids again you must come to me but you will never find me hahahaha if you don’t get to me in 5 days your kids are goner’s hahahaha. Then the message stops. Jazz is (-) off because of what he saw. Then he says you know what that means right guys. Spaz and Lori nod there heads it’s out of retirement for one last adventure. Jazz runs and gets changed and breaks out his old blaster. Spaz and Lori do the same. Then the adventure begins. They get to Devan’s lab and they find one of jazz’s kids dolls next to the machine and jazz instantly knows what happened they must have been playing with the machine and they got sucked into it. So jazz says we need a plan if we are going to get this working. But jazz didn’t see spaz next to the machine and he saw a shiny button and he just couldn’t resist the urge to push it. When he does it starts to open the vortex up again and jazz and lori turn to face spaz and there mouths a wide open in disbelieve then spaz says what there was a shiny button. Then the vortex fully forms. They then get sucked right into it but they get knocked out as they exit it. When they wake up they are strapped to a table and then devan comes out of the shadows and says well jazz didn’t expect to see me again did you. Jazz you want to see your children don’t you jazz then says offcourse I want to see my children where are they. Then a cage came down form the ceiling with jazz’s kids in it. What are you going to do to them? Then devan says Oh you will see jazz hahahaha you will see. Then a saw blade came out of the wall and moved very slowly towards the cage. Jazz if you don’t want to see your kids harmed I suggest that you give me your blaster. Jazz says what do you want my blaster for Devan says why else for a nice trophy. Jazz refuse the first two times. The first time he says no this was my father’s blaster you won’t get it. Devan then says oh really he pushes a button the blade moves a little bit faster. Then Devan says I would give it to me know if I where you hahaha. The second time jazz says no I would let you lay a hand on it. Devan says well that’s too bad because well one more push of a button and it bye-bye rabbit kids hahaha. This is your last chance the blaster or the kids your call jazz you got 10 seconds. Jazz then starts to sweat because he is stuck with a though call. Just as devan is about to push the button jazz gives him the blaster he then push’s the other button to stop the blade. He then says a very good move jazz but not the best you have come up with. Jazz looks confused because he doesn’t understand by what he means. Spaz and lori try to snap him out of his daze but there’s nothing they can do. Until devan puts it onto his work bench then jazz understands what he means by not the best move he could of made because then he sees devan made the saw blade cuts the blaster in half. Jazz let’s out a scream of anger as he tries to break out of the restrains on the table but then devan puts in his backpack a little one hand one and says if this will shout you up take this one. Then devan pulls a switch and the kids are released form there cage but before they can reach there dad the vortex opens up and sucks them back throw it jazz is up set and mad and angry he is filled with rage he wants to kill devan with no mercy. But then the kids are back home and they call for there mum she hugs them and ask where’s your farther they don’t want to answer but then another vortex opens and out pops jazz, spaz and lori. But jazz, spaz and Lori are watching all of this on a monitor still on the lab table. Then Lori ask’s if were here who are they. Devan then says these are the reason you haven’t heard from me in years a perfect robotic version of you three. The three of them gasped. But then spaz says ah then what about us if they are there then what will happen to us. Devan then says well I think you can guess what happens to you three hahahaha. He then throw a lever then electricity start to flow throw the three rabbit’s shocking them to a crisp but they are not dead and but devan doesn’t know this. He then called his henchmen to take the three of them and dump them in the forest. So they are taken to the forest where they lie for about 6 hours until they wake up. But there is one problem they can’t remember a thing excepted there name and that they are brothers and sister. End of chapter 1

Chapter 2 (P.s I still think I got some words wrong so if I did can you please tell me)
This is the time that the players then gets control of the character they chose to use jazz, spaz and Lori. It then teaches you how to move and look around. You then go to help the other when all of a sudden three punk turtles appear and they talk to your character then they start a fight. This is the time when the player learns how to fight but you don't have your blaster. So it teaches to fight unarmed by your self. If you win they get up again and they are steamed. But if you loss you get back up. After you beat them the other two get up and they help you. This is the time they teach you about fight with the others characters helping you. But this time the player is meant to loss. Jazz gets knocked to the ground and out from his backpack pops there blasters jazz reaches for what popped out of his backpack then he see’s that blasters the others look to this triggers a little flash back for all three of them. Jazz know witch blaster belongs to witch creature all of a sudden. So he throws them there blaster. This is the time when the player learns how to fight with a blaster. You win really easily with a blaster you KO them and they get knocked to the ground and they run off. But they dropped something a yellow crystal. Lori sees’s it and she has a look at it really hard and she then puts it into jazz’s backpack. Then they follow the turtles until they get to a city (you guys come up with a name I haven’t named it yet). This then starts a cinematic of them walking around the city talking. Then it gets dark all of a sudden. They then go looking for a place to stay when all of a sudden a sound of a can getting kicked is heard and then they have a talk about what to do. The player then gets one of two chances one find a place to stay. Two find out what cased the noise. No matter witch one the player picks it leads them to the same place a hotel. They are just about to go into the hotel when they hear the noise again. The player then has to go and find out what the noise is. when you find out what it is the character peaks around the corner and it's the punk turtles again you then talk to them for a bit before they start a fight with you again you win easily again and this time they run off but drop a red crystal and spaz thinks it looks nice so he puts trys to put it in his shoe but jazz says put it in my backpack so spaz does. You then have to go back to the hotel and you check into it and they person who works there gives you a book for being the 500 customer. And you then go up stares and you then go into your room and you then put the book next to your bed. You then get a choice to save the game by writing a diary entry and then you go to sleep. The next day you wake up at 6 a.m you then go out side of the hotel and you then go out looking for information. This may take about 30 minutes of game play to find and the guy you get it from is Velocity (thank you nova star). After you get it you then try to find a job to get some money but you run into the punk turtles again. This time they are steamed so right when they see you they start a fight. You win again but they then drink some energy drink and get right back up and they then pull out a gun each. The player hasn’t learned how to avoid weapons like gun fire so the player loses they the take back there crystals and walk off. The player then wakes up and they then must find a health item fast. all they can see are three carrots so you then crawl to them and you then eat one and you then use the rest of them on the other two then you have to back to the hotel and rest up. You then wake up and you go looking for the turtles they are back in there allay. You then get mad at them and this time you start a fight with them this time you know they have guns so you then learn how to jump and side jump and rolling. So the player should win realty easy. They the drop three crystals one red, one yellow and one green. The player then picks up all three of them and the player then has one of three sets of crystals. The crystals play a big part at the end of the game there are 3 sets altogether. You get one set for defeating three secret bosses. And the last one for defeating the three story boss’s. I’m not saying just yet what the crystals do you will have to wait and see but it will be really cool. (P.s you don’t need all 3 sets but it helps). After they got back to the hotel they then went to there room and sat on there bed and lied down. Then they had a talk about what was with the crystals. They had a wired glow when one of them touched the right one. Jazz asked every one to put your crystals on the floor they then put there crystal’s on the floor jazz then touched Spaz’s one it didn’t react in any way he then touched Lori’s one it didn’t react he touched his one it light up. Then they where puzzled. Then jazz said maybe someone in town can help us they all agreed and picked back up there crystals and went to bed. The next morning they ate breakfast and then went out to see if someone know anything about the crystals. The game play should take about 15min to find the right person to talk to if you don’t know the right guy to talk to. The person they run into is Velocity. He had a look at it he said it was a power crystal but a type he’s never seen before. They only reacted to those three he then told them of the power they have. He said I can put them in your blaster to give it a lot more power but you need to do something for me. The thing you have to do is go and get some matter cores to help make you upgrade your weapons. Matter cores are special cores that can hold matter. But Velocity want’s some really rare matter cores that you can only get for doing mission’s for some people. After you get all 3 rare cores you go back to Velocity and he will then upgrade your blaster’s but you have to wait 60 min in real time to get them back. At this time you fight hand to hand again like you always could. You than can go find side missions while your blaster’s getting up graded but you don’t need to do it but if you finish all of the side missions you then get a new one opens and you go out into the forest to find something. (this is a secret boss this is how you get lori’s bonus crystal the reasion i'm telling you this is that you only have 60 min to get there so it's going to be really hard). Then after 60 min you get a massage saying that your blasters are ready for pick up when you pick them up they look cooler and they have a crystal in it. End of chapter.

¶ is your friend.

Really, barely anyone is going to read this. Please break it up in paragraphs or our heads will explode because of the massive concentration of characters.

ok i will try but the story is coming a long a lot faster then i thought it would and it is great.
I might have it finshed by 28/10/07 because i'm the only one working but i hope to have it finshed befor that if it is after then i'm sorry about it not being out on time.p.s cheep sending in ideas then the story will go faster the ideas i'm getting are good ones thanks guys.

It'll take a lot longer than seven months if you compile heaps of ideas. You just need one main plot and maybe a few subplots here and there to tie in with the main plot.

Minor issue in chapter 1: if Jazz is strapped to the table, how can he give Devan his blaster?

Interesting approach. This is sounding a lot like an RPG, rather than the bare minimum plot that JJ2 had ("Devan's up to no good. Kill him.")

But, keep in mind that sometimes that "bare minimum" is good.

I didn't know we were in your gang :P.

Um how can jazz have his blaster if it got choped in half?
Also I don't lthink I would be playing this game long if it takes 15+ minutes to find someone , unless the city is going be free roam like grand theft auto .
Theres not a lot of detail in this they had breckfast and then went out , they don't have any memory of the past , im sure they would discuss something , also you need to say what the jackrabbit trio are talking to the turtles about .
otherwise epic won't take it seriosly , im not trying to get on your back , but you need to consider thease points.

hay of course your in my gang we are all friends right lol.
ok in answer to your questions
1 i already have a plot for the game and yes it will take awhile to get going but it's better then what it can be and like i said i HOPE that it's out in a coupe of mouths because of how fast I’m writing the story because something i can write a chapter a day but i didn't normal do that because i have a life.
2 your right jazz can't give daven his blaster but that doesn’t mean that he tells him it's in his backpack.
3 yes this is sounding a lot like a rpg but would you raver have a just get from the start to the exit like in the other games or go around and explore places, find treasher, do missions, get better weapons and train your characters.
4 yes i am hoping that they do make it a 3d game where you can walk around the city because well i don't think they still do get from start to exit anymore except for sonic the hedgehog but that the only newer game that i have seen any game that go's from start to exit.
5 yes they would talk while they eat but if i put in every little detal then it would take 10 pages in the forum and then i'd get kick from the forum then the story will never be finished.
ok i hope this answer's your questions i will fix up all of the errors i made in the last two chapters. p.s ah i didn't get a reaction to spaz pushing the shiny button.

You wouldn't get kicked from the forum for using too much detail, unless it was deemed unapropriate detail.

Originally Posted by Coolpeanutbutter

2 your right jazz can't give daven his blaster but that doesn’t mean that he tells him it's in his backpack.

Eh, the LFG 2000 is way bigger than Jazz's backpack. It would never fit. And really, if Jazz had to choose between a family heirloom and his children, he wouldn't hesitate to save his children.

And you really need to break the outline into paragraphs. It's simply not readable unless the reader wants to put forth a lot of effort. And I'm not about to blind myself trying to read all that. Just break it up; it won't take long.

Given all the times Jazz went around in JJ1 without the LFG-2000 visible, I'd say it's plenty big enough to fit into the backpack. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if it was supposed to be the backpack, though there's no real evidence for that.

Originally Posted by Xplosive

Comon guys don't be like that , At least he's gave proof of doing some work on his story , I think it may of been pretty hard for him to write a lot of that up .

Yeah, it must have taken a long time to purposely make all those errors.

Originally Posted by Unknown Rabbit

Given all the times Jazz went around in JJ1 without the LFG-2000 visible, I'd say it's plenty big enough to fit into the backpack. Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if it was supposed to be the backpack, though there's no real evidence for that.

If you're referring to the JJ1 comic for the times when Jazz was missing the LFG 2000, also note that he was missing both the gun and the backpack in nearly all panels. Besides, he could easily have left it in the Jazz-01. Not to mention that on Page 6, he's wearing the backpack in one frame, but it's vanished in the next frame. Nick Stadler may be a great artist, but he's not too consistent.

If you compare the size of the gun to the size of the backpack in both the artwork and sprites, the gun is much larger. In the JJ2 sprites, if you set the gun vertically, it continues from his neck down to his feet (given his normal stance). I understand that sprites aren't always accurate to the artwork, but that's a pretty darn big difference.

And, going strictly by official sources, Jazz would carry his gun on a strap around his body. Check the frame of the JJ1 comic in which he is injured and Chuck flies away. Jazz has a strap there leading toward his gun. We know that's not a backpack strap because it goes around his body, not a shoulder. Furthermore, if you've got a JJ1 sprite sheet handy, you can see the strap on Jazz's shivering frames and on his "bored" animation. We know that these aren't backpack straps here because they are much looser than those straps as depicted in any other source. Although admittedly the only animations that actually show the backpack/ backpack straps are when Jazz leans on a wall and when he tumbles (barring the 3d segments of the game)

And really, it couldn't be the backpack, due to the fact that we see both at once in the JJ2 manual cover and on most of Jazz's JJ2 sprites.

All I'm really trying to say is that you can't hide a gun that big in a little backpack, and Jazz wouldn't have a problem with giving it up when his kids were in danger, whether it was his father's gun or not.

Grid, please, for all of us here, SHUT UP.

You're lucky I don't have the time to go around disputing all of your contradicting, nonsensical, and at times downright dumb arguments. It'd be a bloodbath of pompous illogic.

Riiiight. Because we all know that my backing up of claims with actual reference material is dumb and illogical.

Where I come from, it's good to make sure that your stories don't conflict with the canon material already presented. Look at the backpack, then look at the gun. It doesn't fit. Because of this, coolpeanutbutter should alter his story in some way to compensate.

And for the record, I have not argued with anything here. I've merely pointed out flaws that need to be fixed in order to make for a better story. You seem to have the impression that I'm just running around mindlessly arguing, which couldn't be further from the truth.

And please, point out any illogic I've presented. I'll try to clarify anything that you don't understand. Saying that my points are dumb is nothing more than a useless insult.

Originally Posted by Grid

Riiiight. Because we all know that my backing up of claims with actual reference material is dumb and illogical.

Uhmm... he's got a point there. It isn't illogical. And dumb? Weeelllllllll... not really either.

Originally Posted by Grid

Where I come from, it's good to make sure that your stories don't conflict with the canon material already presented. Look at the backpack, then look at the gun. It doesn't fit. Because of this, coolpeanutbutter should alter his story in some way to compensate.

And we all know that frame-by-frame continuity is on the top of every person's to-do list. Let's go ask Disney for advise while we're on it.

And besides, who says that Jazz's gun doesn't fold, or shrink or something like that. We don't have anything proving otherwise.

Cool, even though I can't read what you're story is about, keep on going and ignore all this. Better yet, get an Admin to delete it.

Alright, first you claim Nick Stadler is inconsistent, and yet all of your following arguments use his work as "proof" that you're right. Please show me how thats logical or not arguring for the sake of it.

Next, you tried to dispute the gun wasn't a backpack. That was useless and dumb. It's not a useless insult to say it was dumb, since if that argument was a human being it would have the IQ of say, 6.

Finally- Jazz is a cartoon rabbit. A cartoon. We're not arguing over a coworker and whether his bazooka would fit in a tiny wallet. We're arguing over a toon and trying to apply real world physics to them.

Let me ask you these question, poindexter: How does Felix fit all of his gags in his magic bag of tricks despite some of them larger than Felix and the bag combined, how does Bugs Bunny fit a carrot in a fold of his skin that is suddenly a pocket, and how does Jazz carry around a gun that is sometimes twice his size despite showing no real musclemass?

Originally Posted by n00b

and how does Jazz carry around a gun that is sometimes twice his size despite showing no real musclemass?

Spinach, like Popeye!
*cue theme song*

Originally Posted by ShadeJackrabbit

And we all know that frame-by-frame continuity is on the top of every person's to-do list. Let's go ask Disney for advise while we're on it.

And besides, who says that Jazz's fun doesn't fold, or shrink or something like that. We don't have anything proving otherwise.

Eh, you've got me there.

n00b: Look, if you want to dispute things, that's fine. But name calling is not going to help your case at all, and it's certainly not making you look tough.

Look, Nick Stadler is inconsistent with a lot of things, but he's our only real reference. Items disappear at random as he draws, but the size of the items remain consistent.

Next, you tried to dispute the gun wasn't a backpack. That was useless and dumb. It's not a useless insult to say it was dumb, since if that argument was a human being it would have the IQ of say, 6.

...did you see the part where Uknown Rabbit suggested that the gun was the backpack? Because that's what I was disputing. I didn't just make that up on a whim.

And comparing Jazz in this instance to Bugs Bunny doesn't really work. coolpeanutbutter has presented us with a torture scene; magically pulling the gun out of a smaller backpack is really quite out of place. It's a cartoony, silly element thrown into what is supposed to be a serious scene. Unless of course he went with Shade's notion that the gun can fold/shrink/whatever.


I'll emphasize that I'm not just trying to argue about whether or not his gun will fit. This was meant merely to be an additional reason to take out the bit where Devan forces Jazz to give him the gun. Jazz would not hesitate to save his children just for the sake of the only item that reminds him of his father. In the end, the gun is just an item. He wouldn't have to hesitate to give it up for his kids

EDIT: Heh, thanks for the spirit lifter, Shade.

Originally Posted by ShadeJackrabbit

Spinach, like Popeye!
*cue theme song*

Or Supercharged Frosted Flakes like Tony the Tiger

Originally Posted by Grid

Items disappear at random as he draws, but the size of the items remain consistent.

The LFG has not been consistent. In every in-game incarnation it has had a different size (this is including Noogy's model for JJ3d which actually COULD fit in the backpack). It's had a different size from JJ1 art to JJ2 art as well. Also, the backpack straps occasionally change.

Next, just because someone says it doesn't mean you need to dispute it, especially since Violet pretty much stated in the same sentence there wasn't a case to dispute in the first place.

Furthermore, you talk so much about cannon and yet feel it is something that can be thrown around at will. There is no "in this instance" since if that was true, we wouldn't be having this discussion. The gun would be pulled out, since as Jazz "Cannon" shows that Jazz uses warner-esque antics all the time. Why should he suddenly stop? If this is to be the case, then the gun size is not the issue, since cannon is apparently not the issue.

Finally, dumb is not tough talk. If I wanted to look "tough" I'd fill this with expletives, question your sexual preference, and suggest that I spend "leisure time" with your mother at night.

At Coolpeanutbutter: Perhaps have Jazz hesitate because he feels he cannot trust Devan instead?

EDIT- and can we please continue this over PM? This isn't going to be resolved anytime soon apparently, and I'd rather not see this thread filled with our ramblings.

Originally Posted by Grid

...Not to mention that on Page 6, he's wearing the backpack in one frame, but it's vanished in the next frame...

Definitely an art mistake, and yes, it supports the idea that Nick can make slight consistency errors.

And, going strictly by official sources, Jazz would carry his gun on a strap around his body. Check the frame of the JJ1 comic in which he is injured and Chuck flies away. Jazz has a strap there leading toward his gun. We know that's not a backpack strap because it goes around his body, not a shoulder. Furthermore, if you've got a JJ1 sprite sheet handy, you can see the strap on Jazz's shivering frames and on his "bored" animation. We know that these aren't backpack straps here because they are much looser than those straps as depicted in any other source. Although admittedly the only animations that actually show the backpack/ backpack straps are when Jazz leans on a wall and when he tumbles (barring the 3d segments of the game)

Yes, the gun has a strap! It is a blue object with yellow dots and a red strap, and it is almost never shown at the same time as the backpack. For one, the backpack is hardly ever shown. In the tumbling animation, the gun has disappeared and been replaced by the backpack. In the bored animation, he's clearly got his backpack out, it's way too small to be the gun. In shivering, it's just the backpack. Granted, the leaning frame looks wrong, and so is the episode picture for Gene Machine, but given that these seem to be the only two instances in the entire game showing both the gun and the backpack - most of the time he has either the gun or neither - it seems that it should be these images that are labeled the incorrect exceptions.

And really, it couldn't be the backpack, due to the fact that we see both at once in the JJ2 manual cover and on most of Jazz's JJ2 sprites.

Irrelevant. JJ2 made no attempt to be in accordance with the original character design. It may have become canon that the gun and the backpack are separate, but my post was only talking about the original intention of the game designers, which I am pretty sure was for the two to be the same.


EDIT, as this isn't really worth a full post: The Turtle Terror cover has a gun but no backpack.

Originally Posted by Unknown Rabbit

Yes, the gun has a strap! It is a blue object with yellow dots and a red strap, and it is almost never shown at the same time as the backpack. For one, the backpack is hardly ever shown. In the tumbling animation, the gun has disappeared and been replaced by the backpack. In the bored animation, he's clearly got his backpack out, it's way too small to be the gun. In shivering, it's just the backpack. Granted, the leaning frame looks wrong, and so is the episode picture for Gene Machine, but given that these seem to be the only two instances in the entire game showing both the gun and the backpack - most of the time he has either the gun or neither - it seems that it should be these images that are labeled the incorrect exceptions.

I didn't even notice the missing gun in the tumble; I was looking for evidence for my own statement. But didn't Jazz have his gun on the Turtle Terror cover? (honestly can't remember)

I see what you're saying here, though. But in all honesty I just think the backpack was simply forgotten in the large majority of frames, considering that JJ2 added it in most of the time. (I don't understand why the heck they forgot the backpack on the shooting while standing poses, but included it on the shooting while jumping. You'd think they woulda noticed!)

Irrelevant. JJ2 made no attempt to be in accordance with the original character design. It may have become canon that the gun and the backpack are separate, but my post was only talking about the original intention of the game designers, which I am pretty sure was for the two to be the same.

Oh, I misinterpreted earlier. I didn't catch that you were referring to the original intention. That's a pretty clever idea. Kinda wacky, but clever.

ok first of all it's a game and why can't it be cartooney.
ok the bit where jazz say's no to handing over the blaster for the kids you all say that he should hand the blaster over but if i go in detail it will say in jazz mind talk (ok i got to get my kids out but i don't want to hand over my blaster it's all we have to remember dad i have to think of a way to get out of my restraints and get the kids out before anything bad happens to them. i also don't trust daven that much ever). and the gun fitting into the back pack. IT'S A GAME it can fit if i want it to fit. oh alright i will think of some other way to get the blaster over to daven but i might just leaf it the way it is WE WILL SEE.

So the backpack is like a tardis and is larger on the inside than the outside?

BINGO! That's right! It uses a time-space compression device to... oh forget it. Check TARDIS on wikipedia...

are you guys actually disgusting how big his backpack is? Thats not wasted on a toon rabbit at all.

no where trying to get grid to not argue about how the gun will fit into the backpack.

OK, ok. Just one more minor counter-argument before I let you leave it the way it is: why the heck didn't Devan look in Jazz's backpack to begin with? Jazz was already restrained.... if I were an evil villain, the first thing I'd do is root through the hero's stuff.

And again, my main point here is not meant to be whether or not the gun will fit; the main point was that I don't see that portion of the scene as even being necessary. It's just a gun; Jazz could wake up and Devan already has it (especially considering how remarkably easy it would be to find).

And, uh... I just read the tutorial you have in Chapter 2.... why are there blasters in Jazz's backpack?...

ok first of all daven is a silly villian so he doesn't look in other peoples stuff. if you get chapter 1 after jazz's blaster gets cut i half he starts going crazy so daven puts a little one handed one in his backpack. the others blasters are in there too.

Originally Posted by Coolpenutbutter

ok first of all daven is a silly villian so he doesn't look in other peoples stuff.

You see? Proof that you can be evil, AND a gentleman.

Maybe Devan thought "There is no way that gun could fit in there... wait no, maybe it could have. Maybe the gun IS the backpack!!" and debated with himself until Jazz woke up.

That would make a nice cutscene

Yeah! You could do it like the Golem-Smeagol scene in Lord of the Rings!

well i guess that would make a good cut sence but where would i put it. i guess i could put it in the start with the rest of it. or i could make it like a little thing that you unlock then go into the extra page in the menu then watch it there. any way the story has been put on hole because people want me to write in detale so chapter 3 is on holed. chapter 1 and 2 are getting updated and are going to be higher detale. i just hope that i don't get kicked for the forum because they are going to be about 10 pages or more for each chapter. so please don't ask me for chapter3 it will come in time and the more you ask the more anoyed i will get so please don't ask for chapter3 until the updated 1 and 2 come out.

Can you anwer my question. If Jazz had his gun in his backpack then what did he give to devan?

ok what jazz does is tell devan that it's in his backback.

oh and in two days where i am holidays start so i will have a lot more time to work on the story.

Then how did the gun fall out of jazz's backpack if devan chopmed it in half?

have even read chapter one. jazz goes crazy nearly busted out of his restrants so devan puts a little one handed blaster in his backpack to get him to settel down.

ow. I read the chapter but I must have missed that. Sorry for the misunderstanding.