I also say west.

@n00b: You came from the East this time.

Walking West, we came upon a rabid hyena robot gloomily typing away on a laptop. We watched silently, hoping he wouldn't notice us. As we carefully started to back away, he turned and snarled at us. Uberbob smiled and waved.
"Oh, I suppose you want to be my friend?" the hyena said dryly. "Sure, you think you do, but you don't know me. You don't know what a horrible person I am."
"I'm sure you're not so horrible," Uberbob said as the hyena tackled me and began devouring me, legs-first. "You're probably just misundersto-"
I didn't manage to catch the rest of what he said.
________________________

"We ought to raise the pie," said Uberbob as he watched me poke the snow.
"What pie?" I asked.
"You know, the pie."

Ask Uberbob to describe the "pie" in the most detailed way he can possibly conceive of with 101% of his brain.

Originally Posted by Dev

@n00b: You came from the East this time.

I said in the last room we were in. The one where we had the options of W,S,E and had sounds of binary laughter.
I said that because we came from the south, and we were able to enter the west exit without being devoured. I assumed then that the laughter came from the east exit (and that the laughter only travels one room module).

N,N,W, N, E, N,W,N,E.

In fact, that one was supposed to be amusing. I'm amazed at how you managed to take it seriously.

Hey, kids! Back on topic! No more forks =D.

And this isn't a downloadable game because I don't like programming inventory systems. The last text-based game Risp and I tried making had this interesting glitch where you could place yourself in your inventory and be stuck forever.

And plus it would be hard to code an AI to analyze posts and try to figure out what people are saying.

Originally Posted by Risp_old

And plus it would be hard to code an AI to analyze posts and try to figure out what people are saying.

Yeah, C'mon...

>Ask Uberbob what the voices are.
Uberbob says "The sound produced by the vocal organs of a vertebrate, especially a human", followed by a witty remark.
>go to heck
Heck is blocked

N,N,W, N, E, N,W,N,E. Yes, even the spaces.

you imbecile, use spaces. spaces are always required after each comma. *forks*

yeah,too bad we're all talking on an internet forum where you dont have to follow every grammar/spelling rule instead of writing out important english essays.

just cause you got the 2000th post doesn't mean you get to own the thread, stupid

and just cause everyone's telling you to stop forking and flaming people doesnt mean you have to be a REBEL and not do what they ask you to.

Break out the forks, fella's, your gonna need 'em.

N, N, E, N, W. <--- that was where I originally wanted to go. :*(

New map, folks. Hope it's correct.


I still think we should go N N W W.

[GpW] tells you to stop the god(-) forking.

And go NNWW.

I'm afraid we have confliction. Two people want N, N, W, N, E, N, W, N, E and two people want N, N, W, W. It comes back to first come first served.

"Uberbob," I said, "describe the 'pie' in the most detailed way you can possibly conceive of with 101% of your brain."
"Pie is pie," Uberbob replied.
We then travelled North, North, West, North, East, North, West, North and East. We came to a door leading North. The sounds of binary laughter surrounded us on all sides. I was scared that some angsty rabid hyena robot would jump out and devour me feet-first. A rather specific fear, sure, but these things happen... probably.

Examine the wall next to the door. Criticize wall's texture.

I examined the wall next to the door, and found that it was made of stone. In fact, I wasn't sure why Fooruman had not taken to licking it yet. The wall had a rough, grainy texture, and appeared quite solid and unpwnable. On the other side of the wall I could make out that strange laughter of 1's and 0's that seemed to be burned into my mind for all eternity.

North.

And the next person to use the word "fork" in a matter that does not have to do with an action, event, or consequence of the ToU storyline or forum game will be reported to CT and FQuist. Seriously, it's not funny.

Originally Posted by UNKNOWNFILE

just cause you got the 2000th post doesn't mean you get to own the thread, stupid

Radium, who made this thread yold you to stop.
Please stop. Being a 'rebel' is just making everyone hate you.

Oh, and North.

We traveled North into another hallway. The binary laughter became a bit louder as we entered.
"I don't like that laugh," Araches said nervously. "Anything that can produce a recognizable pattern of laughter by repeating two numbers over and over again can't be good."
"This reminds me of one of my previous EPIC QUESTS," Fooruman exclaimed. "Long, long ago, a group of wandering prophets and I became lost in a basement beneath the arcade on the Isle of Darkness. There were rabid cyborg creatures not unlike yet completely different from the rabid hyena robots that haunt this very place."
"That happened ealier today," Shuri pointed out. "We were there. Remember?"
Fooruman smiled with great frustration. "Sorry, my good man. I fear my memory isn't quite as it was when I was young."
"You mean you were once young?" Uberbob asked, very surprised.
"Well... younger," the archmage replied, stroking his beard. I wondered what he meant by that, but then again I couldn't picture Fooruman as ever having been younger than sixty. He had probably emerged from the womb with a beard and that same hat on his head, if it wasn't actually a part of his head.

YEast.

East sounds good.

..and try to swipe the hat from his head.

I say west because you suck.

Originally Posted by UNKNOWNFILE

I say west because you suck.

You're the one to speak.

East.

East is good

I tried to swipe the old man's hat. The moment it left his head he burst into a cloud of Foo Dust. The others all stared at me as I held the purple hat and watched the tiny particles of dust fall to the floor. 'Duely noted,' I thought to myself.
After Raising Fooruman, we all travelled East. A rabid hyena robot stood waiting for us down the hallway.
"I've been waiting for you down this hallway," it said.
"Do you have some unique and amusing personality?" Uberbob asked.
'Nah, I'm just some guy," it replied. "Some guy who's going to eat you."
You can guess the rest.
___________________________

"I thought I told you to raise the pie!" Uberbob said after I poked the snow.
"What?" I replied. "Are you sure?"
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure. It's vague recollection, but still."
I sighed and said, "I'll see what I can do."

Look around.

N N W W

I told you not to go east!

Originally Posted by BoggyB

N N W W

No. Don't move ANYWHERE. Remember when Dev said that there's a way to kill the RHRs? Maybe it's under this hypothetical pie, and Fawriel just didn't catch it yet. Look around.

Very unlikely.

Originally Posted by Fawriel

Very unlikely.

But it could still happen.

Pageclaim for Fur Affinity being back up! *high-fives someone*

I looked around. I was standing over a mound of snow with the words "save point" spelled out in yellow letters across its surface. I decided not to question the means by which they had been written, and moved on to looking at other stuff. A few feet away was the skeleton of a long-dead sorceress, still fully robed. Araches, for the first time ever, had claimed that taking off a female mage's clothes was a bad idea. To the North was an open gateway. Before the gateway were four platforms, each with a rune inscribed on its surface. To the South was the previous gateway we had activated earlier.
Realizing that there was no pie, metaphorical or otherwise, we all went North into the Polar Dervish maze. We traveled west twice from the entrance, and were immediately mauled to death by a rabid hyena robot.
Worst episode ever.
______________________________

"Forget about the pie," Uberbob said. "I'll raise it myself." I watched as Uberbob strained his tiny brain, trying to raise a pie which I could not perceive. He finally gave up and threw a snowball at Araches. She hurled a bolt of lightning back at him and caused the nose ring he had recently obtained to meld permanently to his nostrils. It looked painful.

N, N, E, N, W, N, W, N, E, E.

Well, I did wonder what was down that way. And now we know.