Hey, everyone. I've been working for a while now on a new book, and I've finally got the first chapter refined enough that I'm willing to post it here. It's probably a bit slower than you're hoping for, but hey, give me some slack; it's the first chapter of a twenty-some chapter novel. Also, don't worry about the story moving too slowly; much will be revealed in the second chapter, which I'm nearly done editing. Anyway, here goes.

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Steve awoke with a start as he fell off of the couch he’d been forced to use as a bed so many times. As he looked around the dirty, poorly lit room he was in, he noticed a Messenger window flashing on the huge LCD monitor that served as the room’s only real light source. Ignoring whoever was attempting to contact him, he almost impulsively disconnected from the Messenger network. People constantly tried to persuade him to “fix their computers,” and he assumed (quite reasonably) that this message would have been no different than the rest.

As Steve stood up from the dusty old computer chair, he looked down at it. It was quite literally falling apart, and it was, as he had said many times, “about as comfortable as sitting on a fencepost.” Next to the repulsive chair, there was a massive stack of newspaper clippings, some of them as much as five years old. Steve walked to the door of his dingy apartment, looked straight down at the ground outside it, and saw just what he expected: today’s newspaper. Steve grabbed the paper, slammed the door shut, sat back down on his computer chair, and started thumbing through the newspaper. Once he was about halfway into the paper, he paused, his interest apparently piqued. He grabbed a pair of scissors off of his desk and clipped out the article that had interested him so greatly. He carefully set the article on top of the huge pile next to him, then tossed the remainder of the paper into the wastebasket across the room. As the paper landed in the basket, a huge cloud of dust erupted out of it.

Still excited, Steve picked up his phone. He dialed the number of the only real friend he had and waited as the phone rang. After the third ring, he heard a familiar voice.

“What up?” The voice said in a bored tone.

“Frank, it’s me, Steve.”

“Stevie! What’s going down, homes?” Frank anxiously responded.

“How many times have I asked you not to call me ‘Stevie,’ Frank?” Before Frank could respond, Steve continued. “Anyway, I’ve got some great news. It looks like you and I have some work to do.”

“Oh, yeah?” Frank asked, intrigued. “What’s the word?”

“Let’s just say I’d rather not talk about it over the phone. Would you mind meeting me here?”

Frank laughed. “So, you finally found us a job, huh? A’ight, I’ll roll down there in a bit.

“Great,” Steve replied. “Oh, and Frank?”

“Sup?” Frank asked, somewhat impatiently.

“Bring some energy drinks. This one’s going to be big.”

“No prob, dude. Peace out.”

Steve chuckled to himself as he put the phone back on the receiver. He stood up and faced a cracked mirror on the other side of his room. He ran his hand through his dirty brown hair, threw on a “Weird Al” Yankovic T-shirt, and let out a deep sigh. This job really was going to be big.

Me likes.

I wonder what kind of job could be that exciting

I'm not going to say much until I've read the second chapter.
But for now I'll just say that this stroy sounds nice, if not somewhat "epic"!

Here's chapter two, which reveals a bit more of the plot.

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There was a knock on the door with a rhythm Steve knew could only have come from Frank. A moment later, Steve heard his friend’s voice.

“Yo, Stevie, let me in man! This 12-pack’s getting cold!”

“Don’t call me Stevie,” Steve impatiently responded as he yanked repeatedly on the door handle. The ancient door got stuck almost every time Steve slammed it, and this time was no exception. Finally, Steve pried the door open.

“Hey man, it’s ‘bout time! I was ‘bout to drink this twelver by myself,” Frank said as he walked straight in and lay down on Steve’s couch. A cloud of dust shot upward as Frank landed, causing him to choke a bit.

“Make yourself at home, Frank,” Steve said in exasperation as he slammed the door closed once again.

Frank cracked open a Vault and took a massive drink from it. “So, tell me ‘bout this job, dude. What’s goin’ down?”

As Steve sat down on his uncomfortable office chair, it was apparent that he was pondering the words that he’d be using soon. Finally, after about a minute of silence, he spoke. “Frank, we haven’t had a job in what; four years?”

“Are you for real? I never realized,” Frank said sarcastically.

Ignoring Frank, Steve continued. “I know we haven’t exactly been able to live comfortably after the fiasco that was our last job, and I’m sorry for that, but I think I may have something new lined up.”

“Hey man, it wasn’ your fault what went down. There’s no way you coulda known that intel wasn’t on the level.”

Steve shrugged his shoulders and continued. “Like I said over the phone, we’ve got a new potential job, and I think if we pull this one off right, we could make enough money that we’d never have to take another job.”

“Shoot! You got my interest, Stevie.”

Steve frowned. “Don’t call me Stevie,” he said in a slightly elevated tone.

Frank laughed. “Calm down, man. Here, take a Vault. It’s good for you, man.”

Steve happily accepted the Vault; he hadn’t been able to afford anything other than water to drink ever since their last job had ended so badly. He hadn’t been able to afford much of anything, for that matter; it was time for that to change. “Frank,” he said, “we’re going to rob the richest man on earth.”

Frank choked both on the huge drink of Vault in his mouth and on the massive dust cloud in the air. He swallowed the mixture of dirt and caffeine all at once, and immediately decided to inject logic into the situation. “Hey man,” he said, “We’ve been out of the biz for a while. What makes you think this job won’t end just like the last one?”

Steve smiled for the first time in months. “See for yourself,” he said as he handed Frank the newspaper article he’d clipped out earlier.

Frank looked at the paper, then back at Steve, who nodded and continued to smile. Frank looked back down at the paper and read it aloud. “Todd Reynolds, the CEO of MegaSoft, recently announced that his company would be releasing a major update to their popular operating system. Reynolds claims that this update will ‘revolutionize the way computers are used and bring about the next age of the PC.’ The update is scheduled to ship to stores worldwide on November 22nd, one month from the day this article was written. The update is said to include brand new security features and a beautiful new graphical user interface.” Frank looked up at Steve, confused.

Steve took the paper back and smiled again. “So, what do you think?”

Frank, for once, had nothing to say. He thought for a moment, confused. Finally, he responded. “I think you’ve lost it, man. I read that article, and I ain’t see no ‘job opportunities’ section.”

Steve chuckled. “My friend,” he said, “That operating system retails for over three hundred dollars per copy.”

Frank still looked confused. “I still don’ see any job, man. What’s up?”

Steve continued. “Do you know how many copies of the operating system a single truck carries?” He paused, apparently waiting for an answer. When Frank offered none, Steve continued. “One truck carries five hundred copies of the operating system. If we were to boost as few as ten trucks and sell each copy at a hundred dollar discount, we’d make one million dollars right there.”

Frank looked at Steve like he was stupid. “Stevie, I don’ want to seem like a jerk, but how are we gonn’ find ten trucks to jack?”

Steve frowned and continued. “First of all, don’t call me Stevie. Second, I don’t know where we can find ten. I do, however, know where we can find quite a few; maybe hundreds.” Steve took a huge drink of his Vault. “Are you in?”

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And there you have it. If you're still not sure whether or not you're interested, I'd ask you to at least try another chapter or two. Trust me when I say the action's going to get going soon, and it isn't going to stop until near the end.

hmmm nice start. i wonder how they pull it off. What was the last job? What went wrong last job? What happened to them? How are they going to pull this off? And most importantly, when is the next chapter going to be finished?

I like it, except, I'm not sure who would buy a 'brand new operating system' with some aero skin on it, even for a 100 dollar discount.
How does everything get so dusty!?

It's a very light read. Which is very good.
You've got me hooked on that story!
(Maybe you should change the name of that software company. It's kinda dull...)

I agree, MegaSoft is a bit too bland of a name (and a bit too blatant of a parody for my tastes). I'll consider changing it, but that's pretty much the only time that name will come up anyway.

I was rather enjoyed reading these, by all means if you think you want to; continue.

Something different and fast paced, War Tavern Lite. I like it.

Ah, I almost forgot about this topic! I haven't stopped writing/working on the story (chapter 3 should be ready and up relatively soon). I've just been busy with college starting and spending any and all of my free time playing Halo 3.

However, as stated before, chapter 3 is on the way. In the meantime, visit www.fooproducts.net for some 'light' fun.

Hey again, everyone! I'm happy to say that this story isn't dead. I really like the characters I made here, and I think the conclusion I have planned is going to be epic. As a result, I'm not going to give up on this yet!

Expect the third chapter to be posted soon (within a day).

I'm waiting.

Wait no longer! I don't really know what to say, so I'll let chapter three speak for me. I've taken the advice of some people and slightly altered the dialog between the characters; most of you probably won't notice the difference, but I'm happy with it.

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Steve was clearly more excited than he had been in years. He repeated himself when his friend didn’t respond soon enough. “So, Frank, are you in?”

Frank laughed. “Stevie, I’m there like shareware.”

Steve frowned for a moment. He then spoke in an almost hushed tone. “Frank, you do realize that this won’t be easy, right? If we pull this off, it’ll be the biggest job we’ve ever done.”

Frank didn’t need to be convinced. “I know that, bro. I guess the idea of bein’ as rich as my man Fitty Cent excites me.”

Steve chuckled as he grabbed what would be his third Vault. “Alright then,” he said excitedly, “let’s discuss the plan then, shall we?”

Frank watched in both awe and disgust as Steve drank the entire can of Vault in a mere two swigs. “Ai’ght,” he replied, “what’s the plan, Stevie?”

Steve frowned again. “Alright. So, as I said before, we’ve only got one good opportunity to get the goods.” He paused as he grabbed another Vault. “That opportunity will present itself in exactly one week when the operating system comes off the assembly line and the first trucks are stocked. Once the trucks are loaded, we’ve got approximately one hour to get the OS before the trucks drive off to start supplying the stores.”

Frank looked confused. “Stevie,” he interrupted, “the paper said that the OS drops next month. Why would they ship early?”

Steve looked happy. “Frank, that’s the smartest thing you’ve ever said.” Frank looked angry, but Steve continued before his friend could protest. “They’re going to stock the shelves early to make sure that the demand for their operating system is met. They want every single person to upgrade within the first month, and if they hope to achieve that, there has to be a good supply.” Steve paused and observed that Frank clearly didn’t understand a word he was saying. He decided to rephrase. “In other words, they want to sell more.”

Frank’s look of confusion changed to one of understanding. “Ah, you shoulda said that in the first place, man!”

Steve sighed in exasperation. He wasn’t exactly sure why he was friends with Frank; they had almost nothing in common, they were from different backgrounds, and they certainly weren’t of equal intelligence. Whatever the reason, Steve knew he’d need help with the job at hand.

Before Steve could ponder anything further, Frank did something he didn’t commonly do: he injected logic into the conversation. “Stevie, don’t we need some ‘supplies’ if we’re gonn’ pull this off?”

Steve looked up at his friend slowly, still deep in thought. He stared at Frank for a moment before responding. “How many supplies can it possibly take to steal a load of software from a few trucks,” he asked impatiently.

Frank laughed. “Stevie, we both got our areas of expertise. Trust me, man.”

Steve sighed. He didn’t know whether or not he could convince Frank that the job would be relatively straightforward, but he did know there’d be no winning an argument with Frank. “Alright, Frankie, we’ll do it your way.”

Frank frowned. “Don’t call me Frankie.”

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Chapter 4 is in the proof-reading stage.

"There like shareware"? Nice.

Hello, people! I honestly haven't forgotten about this story. I love the characters and I think the plot outline I have is great. I just need to actually get around to....making it more than an outline.

If there's still any interest, I'll do my best to continue as soon as possible.

I'm still interested. I like what you had.

Quick status update: I am still very much interested in working on this, and I am ironing out chapters 4 and 5 for a potential release sometime next week.