The Plotline Hotline had been investigating a small plot circumstance moments ago, but then it blinked out of existence.
"Um, let's get back to business," requested a suited employee to the other.
The tavern crew, pleasantly without worry of any more adversary, walked along with Kovu and Slayer who had agreed to help carry materials as well. Tyf was sick of carrying bags and boxes of boards so she bargained to be the cat carrier. The cats were really not helping, any more, but Tyf tried not to make this evident as she had an easier load to lift. "It's really wonderful, now that you're not trying to kill us anymore, Kovu," congratulated Baeauman. "Yes it's a dandy, i'd say," replied Kovu. Slayer picked up a slight problem in the works. "Hey what about the military leaders?" he asked with concern to Kovu. "Oh don't joke, you think they can function without us?" he joshed. They had a good hearty laugh, Slayer spilling a portion of his bent nails. An interesting concept indeed thought Slayer. Bent nails, how well are these going to fit the tavern together?
He considered asking Baeauman about this but worried about his morale. Speedy and Propulsion joint-carried the longest boards down the sidewalk. They took leave into the street freqently to bother the drivers. The traveling companions then passed a bar and felt nostalgic. Kovu hadn't been to the tavern for a while, but of course, neither had any of the others. Tyf forced herself to the counter first beaming until she began to talk to the bartender. Ducky planted herself on the stool next to her. Her materials took up an uncomfortable and inefficiently large amount of space next to her. The other customers were flexible and decided to seat themselves on top of the pile by borrowing some of her chairs.
"Might I ask what all this is?" The question reached Ducky's ear as soon as it waded its way through the mess of other speech. It was the bartender, looking tired but not angry. "This is our building material. The war tavern got destroyed, so we have to rebuild it. It isn't too far away, you must know what it is." described Ducky. The bartender was able to finish pouring a few glasses before the whole discussion reached his ears. He thought and looked ready to reply. "Yeah, it's a vacant space now. ." he began, he must know about it. "We were hoping for a rush of customers from there when it closed like that. I don't know where they all are." he said with opinion. "They're making it an industrial complex now, it's too much land to just let sit there."
This managed to reach each Tavern member rather quickly and they wore similar expressions. No! This would cause serious problems. Who knew how many people depended on the Tavern. The charred rabbit held his head at the thought of the legal proceedings that would follow. "No! No!" he strained.
Kovu looked genuinely evil. Speedy and Propulsion were forced to pace away from him as he eyed the bartender. He lifted his eViL pIkE from his side and pointed it at the bartender. He prepared to speak, but Slayer preempted him. "Hey, it isn't an eViL pIkE any more, is it?" he wondered. Kovu looked at him distracted from his coming speech. He wondered as well. "Um, did I say a thing about it being evil?" said Kovu. Slayer looked defensive and said "No, I was just wondering," "but really..isn't it like a nEuTrAl pIkE now?" he started again. Kovu considered this and made a decision, ready to finish the tangent. "Yes, but let's lose the capitalization on the word 'neutral', it just isn't flashy enough for that," Kovu concluded.
Back and ready to argue with the bartender, Kovu repositioned himself and looked angrier than before. The customers watched as well at the irregular others who had come in packed full of furniture and tools. "No more plot complexities! That was my job." growled Kovu. The bartender was offended but quiet at first. Silence remained over them. "What did you want me to not tell you?" he rebutted. "I didn't set it up!" he yelled. Kovu tossed his head in disgust. Something like this would just foul everything up. It had to be settled quickly for the good of the less fortunate, less aware crowd in their holes, and the other taverners who were having trouble keeping their expressions of disbelief steady. "Phone!" Kovu ordered. The bartender pointed at the wall phone. "Nope, I'm going to be pacing," declined Kovu. Baeauman gave him a cellular phone instead. He dialed the Plotline Hotline rapidly and waited for the reply. He dreaded a long computerized service. Kovu had only a short time to look impatient when he was answered by an employee. "May I be of service to you?" she questioned. Kovu began to speak, as was his custom, and was interjected. "Push 1 to speak with a living assistant. Push 2 for our best in computer assistance,"
"No, just pulling your leg!" she squealed. "Don't push me," groaned Kovu. "We have a plot crisis, our existance of plot is going to be built over by industry. This entire last sequence will be of no use to us! One of the best evil positions I've held to date. The other folks have done a lot of hard work too," said Kovu. Slayer looked at him as if he had wanted a better description. "You have to erase this mess for us otherwise the whole flow will be bent and misshapen," Kovu complained.
At the hotline building, the assistant woman took a moment to assess the job at hand and look at the specifics. She scanned the plot record and then came to a halt and made an immediate decision. "Your request will not be granted! Our records show that you have killed a number of one of our employees, in your past ecscapade." she said firmly. Kovu looked explosive and turned to the others to find words that he could yell at.
"What you killed some guy?" he griped in disbelief. "What are you doing murdering people? That sort of thing has quite a lot of consequences!" he yelled. The tavern members looked sheepish. Ducky was perked up by this. "Hey, and my Cherry Table!" she said in disgust. Her eyes burned with passion the color of the cherry table. In fact the last trip had been rather careless, but so useful, to avenge the loss of a much greater good, Mr. Continuity, and save a planet. That was Jazz-caliber stuff right there. Fortunately the employee was able to monitor this lengthy stop for thought .. but was impatient. "Hey Kovu, sir, if you can change this group's record, we'll be able to do your job. We're sorry you have to represent them, you seem to be angry, but it's policy" she explained. Kovu looked confused, "So you want us to illegally change the record?" he asked for clarification. "No, you'd have to bring Mr. Jim Drab back to life. Which is difficult, but I was just saying." she told him. Kovu had a case of shifty eyes.
A new plan had to be discussed. They had the mind-altered Taverners to regain, the Tavern property to keep to themselves, the Tavern to rebuild, and the rest of the supplies to buy. A death smeared their clean record and splinters of a lost Cherry Table cut Ducky inside. They just had to make a plan before the character limit. Slayer decided to do the honors, after listening to a summary of Kovu's phone call and the ideas of others. "Here we go, we go back to this Jimdrabian area and at least get the Cherry Table. We should try and find out exactly what happened to Jim Drab and see if we can, I guess, bring him back to life," he said succinctly. "This way our record will be okay and we won't have to go back to Jimdrabia later and get Ducky's table. When we get back it will be smooth sailing with the plotline hotline, they can fix everything, and we will have wasted no time!" he said, satisfied.

Rocky

Claiming this page for : Our beloved chip manufacturers

"We may not have to go to Jimdrabia-" began BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. Ducky glared at him, but he continued anyway. "...to learn what happened to Jim. I was there, remember?"
"Well, I assumed you were, but I couldn't be sure." said Speedy, sipping his cup. Now that they had a workable plan, the expressions of disbelief could be removed, and they were.
"As far as I remember, Jim was drawing away the attention of Blagagnga so I could take him out. However, Jim was shot through the stomach by a laser from Blagagnga's hovercraft. I attempted to jump onto the craft, so as to fight him paw to paw, but the hovercraft had a forcefield, and I bounced off. Suddenly, (and I'm not sure why), the hovercraft failed, and the entire thing, Blagagnga included, fell into a conviniently placed void.
"After that happened, I scooped up Jim, and rushed through a hallway to the Shoot/Maim/Hurl machine, where Speedy and Propulsion were battling for the right to sacrifice themselves to save the planet. Jim, as his last dying action, went into the "Hurl" tube, causing the time bomb to stop, and the planet to be saved."
This was all news to Ducky, Kovu, Slayer, and Fquist, who listened with some interest.
"So if the Hurl tube worked properly," said Tyf, "then Jim Drab's lifeless body will have been hurled to.."
"Tubelectric." put in Slayer, wisely. "That's where people always got hurled before. I wouldn't mind going back to Tubelectric, really. Nice tasty ostriches."
"But what about my Cherry Table?" cried Ducky, passionately. "The War Tavern, even if it was rebuilt, would never be the same without it!"
"All of this is in the future, though." said Kovu, after deciding that the Plotline Hotline employee could be of no further use and hanging up the phone. "Before we can go to Tubelectric Or Jimdrabia, we need a spaceship."
"Didn't we have this huge fleet of ships I st- errr, found?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, thoughtfully. "Whatever happened to it?"
"Well, we were going to go to a variety of places.." said Kovu, sitting back down. "But I got ahold of the controls after being all beaten up and we went to Tubelectric."
"But the other ships?" asked the irish rabbit. Although he had not come along that time, he didn't remember hearing about what happened to the rest of the ships on that adventure.
"I think we lost control of them." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "The whole fleet blasted off of Carrotus, but then the main ship that I had built was the only one to reach Tubelectric."
"If only we had one of them now...." said Propulsion, a fire in his eyes. Suddenly, there was a big sound outside. Hurridly, the 'Taverners paid the bartender, and rushed outside to see one of the long errant fleet gracefully touching down outside the bar.
"Clockwork!" cried Ducky, exuberantly, and bounced off towards the spaceship to shake the paw of the fox who was, indeed, emerging from the dim interior.

Soon afterwards, Clockwork having agreed to pilot them to wherever they were going, the party sat in a large spacious room with plush couches, discussing where to go.
"We go to Jimdrabia first." said Ducky, decidedly. "Once there, we can rescue my Cherry Table, and examine the "Hurl" tube to see if it really was aimed towards Tubelectric at all."
"It's always been Tubelectric in the past, though." said Kovu. "I'll admit Mr. Continuity was hurled to Carrotus during The Quest for the Stones, but he had been previously hurled to Tubelectric, so it was a second-hand hurling."
"I want to go to Tubelectric again." said Slayer, licking his lips.
"Try as I might," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, "I can't think of any reason to go to Tubelectric first other then past experiance. And that's not taking into account that all the people hurled to Tubelectric previously were done manually by Blagagnga, and not by some machine. David Orek got taken off of there with us, the ostrich population was mad at us, EAVW was defeated, and we left with the same spaceship we crashed onto Tubelectric with."
"Wait!" said Slayer, brightly. "I left the Warpshield there, and I want it back!"
"And I want my Cherry Table back." said Ducky.
"I know!" cried Fquist, because he not had gotten to talk at all so far. "Let's flip a coin!"
There was general consensus from all but Ducky and Slayer, so a coin was flipped, and it was realized that neither side had called heads Or tails.
"Heads Tubelectric, Tails Jimdrabia." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ wisely, and the coin was flipped to Tails. Slayer went somewhere to sulk as the spaceship blasted off.

Jim Drab blinked sleepily and looked around him. The ground was clouds, the background eyecandy was clouds.. indeed, everything was clouds other then the golden temple standing nearby. Having nothing else to do, Jim Drab proceeded towards it. Other people were milling around, but generally moving towards the temple. Jim recognized several of the soldiers of Blagagnga's evil army, not to mention Blagagnga himself. Picking a number from a dispenser, Jim read "384623452387453" sorrowfully. "Now serving number 38462345287334" read the flashing sign astride the temple. Muttering, Jim joined the group of millers, and after a little while, came across a well dressed fox standing still and keeping an eye on everything.
"Excuse me......." said Jim, causing the fox to turn around. "Where am I? I was assured what I was doing as my last action was certain death, and I feel cheated."
"You don't have to worry about that." said the fox, smiling. "Welcome to Heaven. Or, more accurately, the Great Beyond. The sorting process misses a few, so a few bad sorts get up to Heaven. Thus, here in the Great Beyond, various staff members examine previous actions of all newcomers to see whether or not they belong here."
"But why do I need to do this?" asked Jim, looking once more at the "now serving" number, which had not progressed much. "I'm a good guy! It says so in my contract."
"Everyone says that." said the fox, shaking his head. "In case you get to stay, I'm Xavier, by the way."
"Ah." said Jim, then thought it would be more polite to add his name. "The name is Jim. Jim Drab."
"Pleased to meet you. Anyway, don't take this whole waiting bit so hard. At least you're in one piece, other then the hole through your stomach. We have a rather incompetant squad of workers charged with putting dead people back together, mainly because they're the only guys willing to work with such messy stuff. For example, they once put Tiny Tim - he was a turtle whose head exploded -'s head on his foot.. not pretty. Then we learned he had been sorted into the wrong place-you-go-where-you're-dead, so it's the job of the workers at the evil dead place now, anyway."
Jim tried not to show revulsion as Xavier continued. "Not that the jobs they do are always bad. I used to be a mute, for example. Now I recite the entire epic poem of the Odyessy several times a week, just to keep my voice in practice. Want me to demonstrate?"
"Ah huh. But no thanks." Jim hurried, and slowly walked away, trying his best not to seem rude.

Some time later, Clockwork's spaceship landed on Jimdrabia. There had not been too much trouble locating the not-too-long-ago-unknown-planet, oddly enough. You would think planets that had remained unknown for so long would be difficult to find.
Anyway, the 'Taverners left the ship, the ones who hadn't been there before looking around with various measures of curiosity. Clockwork chose to stay behind and write informative letters to people who didn't know what the letters were informing them about.
"It would probably be best if we avoided civilized areas." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, wisely. "I don't have a big desire to go through the whole godly visitors bit again."
"Me neither." said Tyf, so they set off towards the crashed round ship, which they found without too much difficulty. There were large signs around it now, reading what would probably have meant "CAUTION" if they could read the signs. Ignoring them, the 'Taverners made their way up to the ship, where they began looking for a way in. Naturally, the fire had stopped long ago.
"Here's a only half caved in entrance!" cried Speedy, after a little while, and the rest hurried over. Indeed, it was an entrance that was only partly blocked off by fallen pieces of the ship. They cleared away the blockage, and entered the ship, several getting unhappy feelings of Deja Vu.
"Now, where was the Cherry Table stored, anyway?" asked Kovu, looking at Speedy, as he was closest. Speedy shrugged. "Han Soda put it somewhere. But he's dead, and we can't ask Gurgi, as he vanished. Shall we spread out?"
Ducky ascented, so they all spread out, looking for passages that were not too blocked to procede through, so that they might be the first to locate the Cherry Table.

Um.

I haven't been here for a while, as you know...


but what Happened to Han? and how did we come together at last? And also..where did the choice between the two planets come from?


Speedy kicked at some rubble. A small card fell out. He picked it up and rubbed off the dirt to reveal a shiny surfaec with a horrific head shot of someone.

"Hey!" He said, his voice echoing miserabley. "Hey, guys, I found someone's driver's licence!"

Kovu heard him, but was anxious to find the Table first and so prowled around back out of hearing distance to where some promised shards stuck up from the scraps littering the area. Beau stuck his head up. "I claimed this place to search, rabbit, find your own." Kovu mouthedwordlessly and left briefly. Tempers were indeed wearing thin.

Tyffie, however, bounded to Speedy's side. "ooh, who's that? O.o" she said brightly. "There was a name, but someone scribbled on it with an orange pencil." Speedy informed Tyf, "So I don't know."

Slay snuffled miserabley and shot me nasty glances, so I gave him a Hug(r). (You pervs, the chocolate kind. With almonds.) I remembered a movie where people made out with chocolate kisses and tried to think of something witty to say, but decided this really wasn't the time. Everyone was growing rather peevish and time was growing short. As usual.

Originally posted by Ducky
but what Happened to Han? and how did we come together at last? And also..where did the choice between the two planets come from?

Han Soda was in the front of the big round ship when it crashed front first onto the surface of Jimdrabia, and is presumed deceased.
How they came together.. do you mean the space group and the rest, or Kovu/Slayer/Fquist and the rest? Either way, the answer is (briefly) in that recap I posted a while ago. It's on the previous page..
The choice between the new planets began and ended in the same post, so I don't quite feel like explaining.

Speedy, having abandoned the drivers license (which Ducky pounced upon), wandered through corridors, confident that no realistic spaceship would have so many, and it was merely for the point of dragging out the search. Suddenly, a red glint caught his eye. The cherry table? Cautiously, Speedy advanced around the corner, in case the table had grown tired of being abandonded in this faction, come to life, and decided to conquer the world. If it had, Speedy didn't know about it, as the red glint was from merely from the lever that had been the beginning of the whole crash to Jimdrabnia. Careful not to pull it, in case the self destruct mechanism still worked, Speedy edged past, only to discover a humongous mass of rubble. A hand poked out of it, connected to an arm, which Speedy recognized as that of Han Soda. But he was obviously dead, having been there for so long.
Turning aside, Speedy tramped back through the ship, until he found Ducky and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, who had met, and were assisting eachother in removing some debris from a likely passage.
"Hey guys," said Speedy, cordially, "I found the body of Han. Want to dig him out and give him a proper burial? Not that he's not already buried, but some of him is sticking out, which isn't good for afterlifish morale, I should think."
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ grunted and turned his head from the task at hand. "Your morals are commendable, Speedy, but your realism is low. Considering the front of the ship was what took the full brunt of the crash, from what you tell me, I should say he's too buried to recover. We could get some more rubble, and bury the bit sticking out, though, if you like."
Ducky brightened. "Yes! That's it." she said, and bounced off with an armload of junk. "Which way, Speedy?"
Speedy pointed, picking up various refuse himself, while BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ grumbled something and returned to moving away the blockage on his own. After a while, he remembered his backpack, but the hall was clear enough by then it wasn't necessary.

Propulsion had come across a nigh-useless sign. It was a complete map of the ship, which seemed to be arranged in a grid like thing. The only other guide was a green spot entitled "You are not here", which was little use.
Wait. Maybe if he reached one of the corners of the grid, he could locate a storage chamber from there, by memorizing the directions to go. Assuming something did't block his path. Propulsion, thinking, found the quickest path from each corner, memorized the directions, and set off in search of a corner. The whole process had taken only ten minutes, a stunning figure which he was not paticularly proud of.
Deciding that the best way to find a corner was to set off in one certain direction and not waver, Propulsion turned himself 360 Degrees Counter-Clockwise, and set off, humming some tune or another.
It was not long before he reached an edge of the grid. There had been some obstructions, but Propulsion had been able to find alternate routes. Now, all he had to do was preform a right angle turn, set off, and he'd be at a corner.
He did this, and reached a corner of the grid. It was only then he had little idea which corner he was in. The paths to the storage chamber required going in different directions from each corner, so unless he could figure out a little more about his bearings, he was only a little better off then beforehand. Propulsion looked around for a sign of some landmark.

"I like torture." said some random lunatic who wasn't at all relevant to the story.

"Hmmmm." said Kovu, in accordance with his character. This was obviously no walk in a hedge maze. You couldn't take out your carefully concealed garden shears and cut a path to an adjoining passage, or climb up onto the wall and take a lookout. This was blind mazing.
Being totally lost, it was no surprise to Kovu, when he, after minutes of painful searching, came across the Cherry Table. It was completely intact, except for a small dent, and stood on top a pedestal so any attempt to view it gave it a very bold appearance. There was dramatic lighting, too.
Smiling in happiness at being the first to find it, Kovu began speaking into the radio. Then he realized that he had detonated Slayer's recieving one while feeling evil. However, though the truth, this was not too bad, as Fquist soon arrived, having also been formerly evil.
"Hi Quist." said Kovu, also in accordance with his character. "You want to help me lug this thing out of here?"
Fquist looked shocked at the thought of such menial labor. So, after some thought, he summoned The Moving Bot!, outdated but still functioning, who moved the Cherry Table, Kovu and Fquist out to Clockwork's still working spaceship, where they planned to bring it in the first place.
After some time, the other 'Taverners gave up (including Propulsion, after finally reaching the storage chamber and finding nothing there), came outside, and glared at Kovu for not telling them he had already found it.

Later, after flying the spaceship over to what was left of the Fuzzy Bunny Slipper factory, and determining that the "Hurl" tube had, indeed pointed to Tubelectric, the spaceship landed on Tubelectric. (The before mentioned stuff, FYI, was paticularly boring, and thus not included)

"Tubelectic!" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, looking out at all the abandonded machinery just waiting to be put to use.
"Tubelectric!" said Slayer, instantly searching the ground for his warp shield.
"Tubelectric!" said Ducky, putting her hand above her eyes to filter out the sunlight, and looking for Jim Drab's body.
"It's just another planet.." said Propulsion, moodily, and was responded to with "Shhhh!".
So they set off, in search of Slayer's Warpshield, Jim Drab's body, or a good place to eat.
"So, do we have any plans for bringing him back to life?" asked Tyf, musingly.
"No. I was hoping to ad-lib." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after nobody else said anything. "You know, 'hum-a-few-bars-and-I'll-fake-it kind of thing."
"Great." said the irish rabbit. "It occurs to me now we should have thought of this beforehand. It seems like even after this, we'll have to go on yet another search."
"Well, in the end, we're getting the War Tavern back." said Ducky. "We have the funds, we have the materials, and we have the Cherry Table."
"Yes.." said Slayer, and suddenly tripped, sprawling on the ground. Grumbling, he got up, but the muddy rabbit examined the ground where he had tripped.
"Hey Slay, is this your warp shield?" he asked, holding a small object up.
"Yes!" cried Slayer, grabbing it. "What an incredible stroke of luck!" Then, speaking to the warp shield, he continued before anyone could stop him, "Take us to the body of Jim Drab, wheresoever he might be."
There was a "Spluoinge" noise, and they found themselves in a large blue bubble, travelling at immense speeds in one set direction. They had become intangible, noted BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, after the bubble shot through a wall.
"Where are all the buildings?" asked Speedy, curiously. "Where's the places where Jazz went through and all that?"
"I think they're on the other side of Tubelectric," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, consulting a book. "Here it is. Tubelectric is composed of two main sides. The abandonded factory, and the barren land of the Ostrich peeps."
Just as the book went back into the backpack, there was a "Pop", and they fell onto a smooth rock. Next to them lay the still form of Jim Drab, looking really most sincerely dead, right up to the hole through his stomach.
"That's him." said Propulsion, wisely, and they all examined him for any obvious ways of reincarnation until it was decided pointless.
"Let us hold a seance." suggested Ducky. There were no better ideas, so they all sat down in a circle around the dead guy, and dimmed the lights, and recited the magic charm of "Iwudlektubyapitsa" (Pronounced I would like to buy a pizza") three times backwards in another language. After some more holy procedures, some spooky music played, and a spirit from the spirit world appeared above them.
"Well? What is it? You're interrupting my nap." said the spirit, grumpily.
"..sorry." said Tyf, considerately, but most of the rest kept on with the requests and stuff.
"Sir spirit," said Ducky, "we have summoned your aid, so that you might tell us how to bring back to life our friend here. The dead guy with the hole through his stomach."
"I'm glad you told me that, for I would never have guessed otherwise." said the spirit, and burst into raucous laughter that shook a cow in the process of being milked on another planet. "Anyway. Yes, this is possible."
"Oh, good!" said Fquist, speaking because it was sometimes fun to do so. "How?"
"Preform the ritual of Munkisi Munkidu over a fire of only one log, and the person in question shall return to life, though you might want to fix that hole in his chest first."
The 'Taverners, eagerly, began getting up, but the spirit raised a spiritly hand. "Wait! One thing more. The spirit world has a rule - a life for a life. Whosoever should preform the ritual of Munkisi Munkido shall Perish, once it is completed."
As the spirit faded away, Speedy and Propulsion quickly jumped to their feet, and glared at eachother.

"I, having been cheated out of it the last two times, shall sacrifice myself!" cried Speedy selflessly, striking a heroic pose.
"You most certainly shall not!" said Propulsion, pushing him. "I have the same qualifications, and besides! When this is all over, I'll be forgotten, whereas you are an actual person!"
"Propulsion," said Speedy, with the air of someone who had gone through this many times before, "we've got through this many times before. You HAVE a name."
"Yes."
"And you don't have a last name, but few people do."
"Yes."
"So what makes me an actual person, but you not?"
Propulsion stood there, thinking, and it was at this point that BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ chose to intervene.
"Hey guys, wait. I've got a.. fair way of settling this. Battle it out for the right to sacrifice yourself.. in CANNIBAL FEUD! I'll construct a makeshift stage from some of these rocks, and.."
"No, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ." said Tyf, firmly. "Cannibal Feud is a fight to the finish. That plan would make them both die. Besides, even if the loser survived, what's the point of having the stronger one be the one to die?"
"...true." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ admonished, and sat back down, moodily.
"Let's ponder other methods." said Fquist, wisely. "Who else do we know with a deathwish?"
"Sakura." said Ducky, shortly.
"She's dead, though." said Slayer, looking across the body of Jim. "I should know, as Batty and I went off to get her back from Inle' Ra, but didn't suceed."
"Hmmm... and I can't think of anyone else." said Kovu, sadly. "What we need is someone unimportant, who nobunny will miss, but is still enough of a character that the readers won't feel cheated.. a pity we had to take David Orec along with us when we left here before."
"When in doubt.." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, opened his backpack, and retrieved the plothole generating thing. A plothole opened up and hung in the sky. Suddenly, familiar music began to play.

"Itsa me, Mario!" cried a cheerful and/or perky voice, as a fat plumber dressed in red bounded out of the plothole, bounced up and down on the assembled parties' heads, and jumped back through the plothole.
"Hmmm, ok, no good. Next?" said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and stood by the plothole, impatiently.
"Hello? Hello? Hmmm, I seem to be loss." said a voice from the plothole, and the Tour Guide stumbled out, instantly recognized by Kovu, along with vice versa.
"Hello, whatever your name is." said the Tour Guide, sitting down. "Who are all these friends of yours? One looks like he's had better times."
Kovu introduced everyone, then whispered to Ducky, who was the main source of compassion. "Should we?"
"It's preferrable to Speedy or Propulsion.." she mused, then "no, it's too cruel. We should only get someone who actually wants to die."
"There must be some better way.." said the rabbit with the irish accent, hastily agreed to by the muddy rabbit, neither of whom had been mentioned recently.



One better way later......



"Wow, I'm sure glad we found a way to resurrect Jim Drab without killing anyone!" said Tyf, happily.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ nodded. He was still kind of unclear on exactly what had happened, so he wasn't feeling like going into any further detail.
"And now that you're alive again, we can get the War Tavern back!" Speedy enthusiastically told Jim. After getting over the pain of not being able to sacrifice himself gallantly for the third time in a row, he had begun to see that it had turned out well after all, and was now quite chipper.
"Uh, yes, glad to be of service.." said Jim, then burst into rage. "BUT DID YOU HAVE TO RESURRECT ME WHEN IT WAS FINALLY MY TURN TO GET IN?"
They stared. None of them had really died before, except Kovu, and that had been too brief to see what The Great Beyond was like. True, the whole universe had blown up once, but all memory of that had been wiped. So they didn't know what he was talking about.
"..Sorry?" said Ducky, and Jim grunted.
"Well, I say we get back to the ship." said the rabbit with the irish accent, wisely. The Tour Guide waved goodbye as Slayer's warpshield transported the rest back to Clockwork's spaceship, and alone, set out once more in search of the touring company he was working for.

A day or so later, the 'Taverners, along with Jim Drab, had reached the mystic land of Plotline Hotline. They all went up to the building with him, so as to be sure to get the plot fix, and were greated with much fanfare by the employees Sally A. Mander and Mary Hadalit Tilam, who were in charge of the gates, along with big trumpets in case anyone in need of fanfare should come along.
"Hey, everyone, Jim Drab is back from the dead!" cried Ime D. Recap, running through the halls. "Wake up, you sleep heads, rub your eyes, get out of bed, wake up, Jim's back from the dead!"
After some time, his mad racing brought him to the court of the head of Plotline Hotline, TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, (or The Mutant Inverted Blue Octopus Known As John Jacobson To Only His Close Friends And Your Excellency To Everyone Else Who Was At All Polite Which Is Beginning To Be A Rarer And Rarer Trait World Wide To The Great Disappointment Of National Behavior Scientists Who Like Eating Spinach Cupcakes And Drinking Marmelade Skies With Lucy's Diamonds, in case you've forgotten) who just happened to be there at the time.
"Your Excellency, sir." said Ime, halting at the door, and bowing, "I have to come to inform you your time as Head of Plotline Hotline is at an end."
"WHAT?" cried TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, rising from the big chair. "I still have another ten terms, at least!"
"Well, yes sir, but this is different. Jim Drab, the former 'ead of Plotline 'Otline, has returned from the dead! E's passed through the doors, and is once more! E's once again! 'E has resurrected, and is 'ere to meet 'is duties! E's alive! Once more endowed with life, e' comes 'ere now! They've mended the hole in 'is stomach with silly putty! E's regained 'is metabolic processes, and 'as climbed back onto the twig! E's righted the bucket, returned to 'is mortal coil, opened the curtain and quit the bleedin' choir invisible!!"
There was a pause, and then TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC recovered from the extended speech. "Well, I guess I'm replaced then."
It was at this point that Jim Drab and the 'Taverners entered the room.
"'ello, chief." said Propulsion, jovially. "'Ere's Jim Drab, 'ere to take back 'is job as 'head of Plotline 'Otline!"
"Stop that bloody accent." whispered Tyf to Propulsion, who fiddled nerviously with a tie.
"It is indeed good to see you once more among us," said TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC, descending from the chair, "and I willingly return this seat until the next time you chance to die, my being your sucessor."
"Thank you, old bean. Jolly good of you." said Jim.
"All very nice.." said Slayer, quickly, before they were forgotten, "but what about us? We were told that if we resurrected Jim Drab, the plans to build over the War Tavern site would be stopped, so we could rebuild the 'Tavern with the materials safely deposited in Fort Knix!"
"Oh, is that what Bill Bored told you?" asked TMIBOKAJJTOHCFAYETEEWWAAPWIBTBARARTWWTTGDONBSWLESC ADMSWLC. "That was all one of our little plots, to make you resurrect Jim Drab. There never was such an idea in anyone's head that could do anything about it. Quite frankly, I'm surprised you didn't know Bill under his disguise. But I suppose the employee you dialed added to the conviction....."
The 'Taverners quickly left, restraining Kovu, who was foaming at the mouth and trying to get at anyone in sight.

Soon afterwards, thanks to the fast spaceship of Clockwork (who then flew away, work done), the 'Taverners returned to Carrotus, where they set out. After all, they still only had three quarters of the necessary materials, even though the materials in question were safely stored in Fort Knix, and they had an 8,000 Carrotian Credits gift certificate to the Hardware Store of their choice.
"How many Hardware Stores are on Carrotus, anyway?" asked Fquist, curiously. Of them all, he was the only one who hadn't been following the entire Hardware Store quest.
"Well, we've seen - three, wasn't it? - already. Two exploded and the third doesn't want us anywhere near."
"Oh." said Fquist, and they continued to walk on, looking around.
"What we need is another of those inflatable Limo's you were using earlier." said Kovu, after his feet started getting tired.
"Well, it's your own fault the first one got destroyed." said the muddy rabbit, causing Kovu to wilt just a little.
"Well, we can't stop now!" said Ducky, with enthusiasm. "Not when the War Tavern is so close to being finished! Besides, we've got to pad this post out to a bit closer to the character limit."
So they kept going, until (after much grumbling of sore feet) they came across a ramshackle building with a sign reading "The only Hardware Store on Carrotus that allows War Taverners". They looked at eachother, wondering what exactly the others had done, sure it hadn't been their doing, then went inside.
In the dimly lit interior, they could see, indeed, such things as would be for sale in a Hardware Store. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had no need to look for bent nails, as in the nails department they already had everything they needed. In fact, all that was left was a bunch of boards, which they proceeded to examine. Once they had found the required amount, they went up to the counter, paid for it, went to Fort Knix (after resting for the night), got the rest of the materials, and went to the spot of the War Tavern.
"The final stretch was.... easy." said Propulsion, confused.
"Too easy." said Slayer, looking around uneasily.
But nothing came of it, and the War Tavern got rebuilt, and all the underground rabbits regained their portions of sanity. Everything was as it used to be. Now, at last, they could get a new and fresh plot...........

Nice job cleaning it up.

I'd reply - but let's see how long it takes before someone else does. It's basically been 'unknown rabbit and sometimes rocky story swap'. Coppertop and Ducky wrote short segments involving food and drink. Baeauman was here for like a day. Oh and Kovu. Try and get Lil Wabbit to come in here.


Rocky
Stuff is good

Or: Quest for Pie

"Yay! Yay! YAY! YaY! yAy! yaY yAY yay! !yay! !Yay !Yay !YAY !YaY yAy! !yaY" The Taverners did shout, running around in silly little circles, perpetually running into quite solitary objects. Until one hapless fool shouted,
"Drinks on me, for everyone!" He would soon realize that his tab would be plunged into infinity negative trillion debt. As the current, at the time undisclosed bartender moved into the cellar, he discovered the Tavern's eternally unexhaustable supply of beer, ale, wine, and liqour was nearly half exhausted.
"It's not possible!" He/she/it shouted. Then he/she/it ran and checked the very nearly unexhaustable food supply, which was also half empty. Then he/she/it checked the eternally unexhaustable pie supply, exclaiming,
"We have no PIE!!" The teeming horde of rabbits gasped fearfully, although one or two may have been along with the crowd, and snuck out the windows later. Hesheit, as the current bartender would now be foreverly named and gendered, said again,
"And only enough food to feed half the galaxy!" The crowd gasped again, although a few of them may have been going along with the crowd and snuck through the Perpetually Undiscovered Trapdoor near the pinball machine.
"We'll starve!" They cried again. Hesheit then didth proclaim,
"And we only have enough alcohol to uhm...we don't have much alcohol!" The small band gasped again, and several more just went along, and later escaped through one of the many gaping holes left in the Tavern by it's haphazard and shoddy construction.
"We'll be sober!" The remaining four or five of them shouted!
"We must go on a quest for PIE!" Hesheit said, er, exclaimed, whatever.
"YaaaaY!"
------------------
bwaha.

I trotted by the Irish accented rabbit. "Your accent is HOT," I said, trying to stuff a loaf of brean in my ratty knapsack. "Are you seeing anyone?" but was jostled out of the way by ...someone I didn't recognize.

"Where are we gonna find any pie?" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ asked, "I don't know of any pie, other than what we've always had here at the War Tavern." "Ahh...but there IS pie!" Hesheit answered. "Pie beyond anybunny's imagination!" "Where!?" Somebunny asked. "In the Misc. Forum!" Hesheit exclaimed. "There is a topic in the Misc. Forum entitled 'Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie.'. If we can get there, we'll have all the pie we could ever want!" "Wow!" BBoy said. So the Taverners got ready and set off for the Misc. Forum.
"This may take longer than I thought!" Said Hesheit. "We've still got to pass through 'The Future of Jazz', 'Technical Help', 'Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments', and 'Lori Central' Then we must cross over into the Non Jazz-Related Forums section. I don't know what that'll be like." "I've never been anywhere passed the War Tavern!" BBoy said. They walked on until they came to a sign that said, 'Now entering The Future of Jazz' "Oh boy...."

Que Passa!!!!

Hmmm... You know, it's been kind of fun reading this thread and finding out what I've been up to while I've been gone...

Anyway...

As the pie-hungry rabbits neared the Future of Jazz forum, there was an odd ungodly song ringing in their ears...

"Everyone likes Ice cream,
Yes indede they do...
Everyone likes Ice cream-
I do, do you?

Search the whole world yonder
travel near and far,
Yes everyone likes Ice cream,
no matter who they are...

Second verse- same as the first...

Everyone likes Ice..."

"BLASPHAMY!!!" screamed BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, speaking in all caps so everyone could hear. "THE COLD CREAMY TASTE OF ICE CREAM CANNOT COMPARE TO THE WARM GOOEY TEXTURE OF PIE!!! WHAT EVER EVIL IS RESPONCIBLE FOR THIS MUST BE TRYING TO KEEP US AWAY FROM THE SWEET SWEET PIE! AVERT YOUR EARS FROM THE EVIL SONG!!!!"
"I don't like Ice cream... unless it's covered in feathers." someone in the back who was wearing sunglasses and a backpack said.(Gee... Wonder who THAT was? /\/\) "We can't go on much longer like this."

Meanwhile, watching the group from the safety of his lair, a suspicious figure laughed... He seemed to remind one of Dr. Claw from those inspecter gadget cartoons.
"Yes... Hear my music and tremble... You will never see your precious pie... Mwahahahaw!!!!"

"We can do this..." said BBoy, trying hard to keep peoples morals up. "How?" was the public outcry.

"Think of Pie- Alamode!"

"Curses..." said the Dr. Claw wannabe.


"...And there was much rejoicing!"
-Announcer
Montey Python and the holy grail.

And had they but looked into the shadiest of dark corners, where evil lurks on a weekly basis, they would have noticed a small, sponge-like thing shift deeper into the shadows. But nobody saw, and it had little impact on what was to happen next...

"Where is that song coming from?" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ exclaimed. "I don't know...it sounds like it's coming from...those trees!" Kovu pointed toward a clump of 3D trees (remember it's JJ3, so everything is 3D now ). The group pushed through the trees to find a large speaker with the ice cream song coming out. "MOVE!" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pushed everyone aside, and shot at the speaker. There was a bright flash, and sparks flew. Then there was a smoking speaker with a hole going through it. *silence* Batty pulled out a Super Soaker XG 4000 B Plus Xtreme Power Blaster 420 (with xtra water containers, cuz it was the millenium edition) from his backpack and squirted out the remaining flames from the speaker. "Did your mom ever tell you that smoking was bad for your health?" He said to the speaker. "FOOLS!" Came a loud voice from yet another speaker from behind some other 3D trees. "Who is that!?" BBoy asked. "I am Dr. Epic, the evil leader of Epic. I'm the reason JJ3 has not fully come to being! I rule everything in the Future of Jazz forum! AND YOU HAVE DESTROYED A VERY EXPENSIVE 3D SPEAKER!!! (Which was playing a good song too. )" "No!" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ shouted. "That was an evil song, for it did not speak of PIE! And you are evil for not letting JJ3 come to being!" "Oh, but that's why I'm called Dr. Epic, the evil leader of Epic. Now if you do not leave, I shall destroy you all!" "We've got to pass through this forum though!" Batty said. "Well that's too bad." Said Dr. Epic. "Now go back where you came from or DIE!" "Come on!" Hesheit said. The group ran further down the path but suddenly found it blocked by some large 3D lizards. "You go no further" The lead lizard said.

(I posted at the same time as Toxic Bunny, so somebunny feel free to do something with the sponge-like thing he was talking about)

"Eep." said Batty Buddy, faintly, and hid behind a large 3D rock.
"You can't desert us now!" cried BBoy, looking over his shoulder, at the same time thinking it was probably a very bad idea to turn his back in any way to the lizards. "You've got all the experiance with fighting big, yellow lizards!"
"Yes.. but these ones don't seem disposed to juggling, even if they did have big rocks on their heads. Go ahead without me, this activates my Giantevil3Dlizardophobia or something."

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ considered mentioning there was no such thing as Giantevil3Dlizardophobia, but the lizards had begun advancing, arms swinging around dangerously, and he decided it was not the best time for scientific corrections. "This always worked in Jazz 2" he said, confidently, and dropped a little TNT before running away. Sadly, the lizards avoided the TNT, which blew up nothing but an alchoholic doormouse, who nobody ever missed.
"Hahaha! And you thought the Future of Jazz would be all rosy, because it was 3D, didn't you?" cried the jeering voice of Dr. Epic, from astride a 3D hillock. "Well, 3D has its cons as well as pros!"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ gulped, but then Slayer stepped forth, having decided there was really little to worry about.
"Come on, you guys!" Slay cried, walking foward purposely. "We live in 3D, after all! This is no different from Cannibal Feud, other then that we get to use weapons!"
The rest of the 'Taverners looked at eachother, in wonder, then agreed he was right, and launched forth at the 3D lizards. Although a few of them, who had never really liked Cannibal Feud, stayed behind and joined Batty behind the rock, which was bigger then it had looked at first. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had climbed astride a different rock, and was now commentating with all the ease of a commentator.
"And the match has begun! There's Slayer, gnawing at a lizard's toe, and BBoy's helping him near the head.. Ooh, daring attack there from Hesheit, but.. ouch, that must hurt. Oh! For those of you who want a True show, divert your attention over there to the corner, where Dr. Epic has been accosted by Cobra, and is being severely throttled for the delay in our journey.. I never knew an arm could bend that way... and it's Kovu, Kovu with the ball, and he's thrown it right up that lizard's nose! And the lizard is stumbling about in pain, which is alot easier in 3D, but look! A superb use of Admin powers there by Derby, or 'Hatman' to those of you call him that, the lizard's down and edited! That leaves three, three giant bezerk 3D lizards.. ow, nasty hit on Bartman there.. and he's out of the game! Nice work from Admael with the stretcher.. and it's Dethman, with his rilly cool sword, and there's another lizard down! The ball's been retrieved by DDay, and he's throwing it at the third lizard.. no, he missed! And it's Tyf, Tyf with the ball in her face, yes, she's holding up a white flag with 'SSF' written on it! It looks like Tyf's disqualified.. And over there, the fourth lizard is hard pressed to remain upright, Speedy and Rocky have teamed up on it with the chicken gun, how did they get it out of my backpack without my noticing, and the fourth lizard's down! One left, and the 'Taverners are converging on it.. he's been tackled and he's on the ground, and there's a writhing mass of 'Taverners on top.. but no, he's getting up! This one's not giving up easily.. oho, what's Dr. Epic up to? He seems to have regained his senses, and he's edging over to that machine.. and the third lizard's down! Excellent double play there with the humongous mallet by Fire Sword and Fquist.... and the 'Taverners win! Dr. Epic appeared to be going to retaliate, but Ducky spotted him, and he's gotten a good throttling with her Moderator TwiG! The game is over!"

The 'Taverners congregated, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ getting down from the rock, and the lurkers unlurking. The opposing side was most severely trounced, and there were only a few injuries on their side. Tyf had a nasty bruise on her face, Hesheit's left arm was broken, Bartman had a severe lump on his head, and Cobra had a bloody nose, but other then that and a few scrapes and cuts here and there, they had emerged unscathed.
"So, does that bode well or ill for the Future of Jazz?" asked Ducky, musingly, folding up the Chicken gun and returning it to BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's backpack.
"I'm sure it depends on how you look at it." said Unknown, dryly. "On the one hand, it could mean we'll have some great battles. On the other hand, it could mean JJ3 will be beaten within an inch of its life, and will never see the light of day."
"Or it could be a completely unrelated incident." said Dethman, wincing as Admael applied a small poultice to a cut on his arm. "We should probably put Dr. Epic somewhere safe, or we'll have to go through this again on the way back."
"And that could endanger the pie." put in Hesheit, feebly. "You know, maybe I should go back. I'm little use as a fighter at the moment, and if someone comes to the War Tavern while we're gone, there should be someone to bartend."
"It is your decision." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "I personally agree with your statement, but let that not alter your decision."
"Oh, everyone stop being so somber!" cried Defalcon. "We just won a great battle, even if the Jedi could have done better!"
So they all set out once more cheerfully, with the exception of Hesheit, who chose to return to the War Tavern. Steel offered to help him/her/it back, saying he would then catch up afterwards, but Hesheit declined, waving his/her/its free hand in protest. Dr. Epic was sent through a random plothole, courtesy of BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, so they probably wouldn't have to worry about him again.

Soon afterwards, the intrepid PIE seekers found themselves in the the land of Technical Help. It was a long stretch of barren land, with various computer parts strewn about as a subsitute for scenery.
"Seems easy enough." said Kovu, confidently, so they continued walking. After a time, they saw the sign "Welcome to Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments" in the distance.
"That was no trouble at all!" said Ducky, in wonder. But they were suddenly blocked as a wall appeared from nowhere, "Error connecting to List Servers." written on it in big white letters.

Lol, Unknown. Nice story.

"Uhhh....what now?" Asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "Hello fella's." Came a voice behind them. The group turned. "Who are you?" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ asked the person that stood in front of them. "My name's Burger. Trying to get past that wall?" "Yes." BBoy answered. "Do you know anything about it?" "Yes." Burger replied. "First of all, you all are not 1.23 Jazzers. You need to upgrade to Version 1.23 or 1.24 before you can pass. Also, the list servers have been down and very unstable the last few days. I'm trying to fix them. So if you're going to pass, you must first upgrade yourselves, and then let me fix the problem." "I hope we have enough time." Derby said. "Our Tavern needs pie." "Wait a minute!" BBoy exclaimed. "Why did we send Hesheit back!? He's the only one who knows about this, 'Pie Topic'!" "I think we'll be able to find it easily enough without him." Uknown said. "Now, Burger, how do we get upgraded?" "You must go to the FAQ section, and get the patch. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to work on the list servers." Burger said as he walked away. "Blast. We've gotta go somewhere else now. Anybody know where the FAQ section is?" Said BBoy. "I do." Fquist answered. "Just follow me."

The group walked on and finally got to a J2O warp. A screen next to it slowly looped through some places in J2O.com. Finally the words, FAQ came up. "Come on!" Fquist said, and the group jumped through the warp. They found themselves in a land full of question marks. "Wow! Hey, if we can do that...then why can't we simply warp to the misc section?" BBoy asked. "Because that's in the JCF. We haven't programed any JCF warps. Just J2O warps. Come on, the patch is this way." Fquist said, and they walked on. Finally they came a large.........patch. It was floating just above the ground. "Goodness. It's bigger than I thought!" DDay commented. "Everybody put your hands on it." Fquist said. The group did, and suddenly there was a flash. Once it left, they all looked at themselves. "I don't feel any different." Tyf said. "But you are. You're now a version 2.23 Jazzer." Fquist said. The group quickly ran back to the warp and waited until it said, 'return to where you came'. They all leaped through and found themselves back in the Technical Help Forum. Only now it was shaking and there was electricity everywhere. "What's going on!?" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ yelled above the rumbling and zapping sounds. "I don't know" Fquist replied. "Lets try to find Burger!"

Que Passa!!!!

Hmm... Wonder what will happen when we reach Lori Central.

"Don't worry about Burger." Batty said, taking off his backpack. "I'm sure something in this thing can help us." He reached inside it and pulled out:
The Final Finished Version of Jazz Jackrabbit 3 on CD. "Aw-man. This thing is acting up again-spitting out useless stuff..." "NO WAIT..." everyone yelled, but it was too late- Batty had thrown the CD behind him, breaking it. He then pulled out a large slice of PIE!!! "BATTY WAIT..." Too late, Batty threw the Pie away too... It rolled on the ground and got eaten by a passing Gigabyte.(They're everywhere in the Tech Support section.) Finally, Batty pulled out a weird looking device that resembled a game boy wrapped in chicken wire. On it was the word: Burgerscope.

"AHHA!" Batty said. "Now- lets go find... HEY-Why's everyone so gloomy looking?" Everyone was staring solomly at either the broken Jazz3 CD, or the Gigabyte that ate the pie(The Gigabyte belched happily.).
Tyf groaned... "Of all the times for Batty's backpack to pull out something he wasn't looking for..." "HEY! Come on you guys... the sooner we get through this the sooner we get pie..." Batty's voice range out.
Everyone signed heavily... A few rabbits started weeping...

"So, how do you use this thing?" asked Ducky, after recovering from the double loss.
"From what I can tell, you hold it here, and it tells you which way to go.. odd, I can't read this language." said Batty Buddy, after pressing the big red button that everyone had known would be there.
"You've got it upside-down." said Dethman, scathingly, causing Batty to cough and turn it around.
"Right! According to this machine, Burger went.. thataway!" And the party trooped off thataway, still upset, except for Batty, who had no idea what had happened.
Soon, the Burger scope turned itself off. This was probably because they had reached Burger, and it had an automatic source of query toggle status built in modifier thing, or something with the same effect but a shorter name.
"Burger, why is the ground shaking and electricity flying around?" asked Fquist, to the one who indeed was seated in front of them.
"Oh!" Burger spun around, and faced them. "That's just because your registry is being updated, and it's taking a little while. I presume you have been patched, then?"
"Yes," said Bart, flexing the muscles he wished he had. "There was a flash, and now we feel different."
"Good!" said Burger, then continued. "And the list servers are up again, so you're fine now."
"But the wall is still there!" said Rocky, pointing. The wall with the error message still stood there, reaching as far as they could see, with no way around it.
Burger laughed. "You just need the list server patch!"
"Another patch?" everyone groaned, but Burger assured this one wasn't so much work, and pointed to a transparent case attached to a nearby wall. "In case of error connecting, break glass" read a sign, with a blaster hung on a chain next to it.
"Forget that wimpy little thing!" said Tyf, drawing her own gun. "Stand back." she said, and before Burger or anyone else could stop her, fired a long and powerful blast at the glass. When it was finished, the glass was indeed broken, but the patch behind it had been destroyed.
"Oh, very well done." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, glowering. "Now how are we going to get the PIE?"
Burger, after thinking for a moment, pointed into the ranks of the 'Taverners. They moved aside from the path his finger indicated, all except Haze, who stood there, his fur on end. He had been feeling very funny ever since they had entered the land of Technical Help, and it had now reached a climax. "Haze shall help you." said Burger, wisely. "He already posesses the list server patch, and does not see the wall you speak of, but he thought it would be safer to just go along with the crowd."
"Amazing!" cried Haze, looking with wonder at Burger. "That's completely correct. But how can I give them the list server pat- oh!" Suddenly, a new light came into the rabbit's eyes, and he ran off in the direction that seemed right. Waving goodbye to Burger, the others followed, hoping Haze wasn't leading them into trouble.

Soon, they came to a hole in the ground.
"There!" said Haze, pointing into it triumphantly. "The list server patch is somewhere in there."
"It looks just like a hole, to me." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, looking in. "Are you sure this is it?"
"Of course!" said Haze. "I have been guided by the divine finger of Burger. This is my place, Haze's Hideout, and it is here we shall find the list server patch!"
They descended, noting as they did so the hole had stairs going down, and there were torches after a time. Indeed, the further down they went, the more elaborate the passage became, until when they finally emerged, it seemed a large temple hewn into the ground around them.
"Amazing," said Derby, poking at a wall. "We must be miles below sea level."
"Hot and cold running water, if you don't mind the fishies!" cried Haze, proudly. It was as if he had always known of this place, but had until now forgotten of its very existance.
"So where's the list server patch?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. Pillars and fishes were all very well in the right context, but they had PIE to consider!
"Right this way." said Haze, and they went down a corridor with a large sign marked "Patches". After passing another 1.23 patch (which Haze recieved some glares for not remembering) they came across a list server patch. It was a small thing, and afixed to the wall, but it vibrated like a living thing.
Fquist reached out to grab it, but Haze held him back. "Watch out! Due to some flaw in the design of this building, that patch holds the sea out! We must find some way of plugging it, first."
"How about I put my finger in the hole, effectively sacrificing myself for the sake of PIE?" said Propulsion, who had come along in the first place in hope of some way to sacrifice himself.
"Eventually, you'd rot away, and the water would get past." said Cobra, sternly. "Besides, it would mean loss of carrotan life, which is something we want to avoid."
Then there was a flash, and Derby started sweating and looking as if in pain.

"What's wrong?" asked Ducky, worridly, turning to Derby. "Do you have a fever or something?"
"No..." groaned Derby, looking strained. "I'm.. preforming.. a hole edit. Retrieve.. the patch.. the water.... won't.. get in."
They were concerned for Derby's health, but Kovu removed the patch from the wall anyway, and they walked away from the wall, moving slowly so Derby could keep up. Besides, it was a disconcerting feeling to see water straining to pour into the temple like place, but being blocked by some invisible force.
"So what comes after Technical Help, again?" asked Propulsion, pondering new methods of sacrificing himself for a greater good.
"Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments" said Unknown, after checking on a laptop he had carried all the way from the war tavern. "Then Lori Central, across to the non Jazz related forums, and we're there."
"Not quite... halfway there.... then." said Derby, straining each word out, then tripped over a small pebble, having diverted his attention enough to speak.
"Are you ok?" Cobra began, but Derby yelled at them to run, so they did, as the water broke loose from his hole edit, and poured forth in powerful waves.
"We'll never make it out fast enough!" cried Derby, worried, panting. Already the water was visible crashing along behind them, not just a sound but a reality.
"No!" cried Haze, the light coming into his eyes again. "Throw the patch on the ground!"
Puzzled, but with nothing else to do, Kovu threw the patch down, and as they watched, it expanded, all the time remaining next to them as it ran along. Soon it had become a humongous magic carpet. Just before the water reached the fleeing 'Taverners, they all jumped onto the patch, or carpet, whichever, which somehow fit all of them, and were born out through the tunnel up to the surface at a far faster speed then they could have climbed.
As they sat there, huddled in the center so as not to fall off, the carpet - or patch - flew over the large error connecting wall, landed on the other side, and shrunk down to a small patch again. "Welcome to Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments" read a sign next to them.

Mwaahhaha... i hath returned... who knows for how long tho, i got kinda a job now... so we shall see, heh. Yet again, i must kinda operate limitedly, even i BACK READ THE WHOLE DANG STUFF I MISSED [thorughly too] (yes, i'm the only idiot who does that around here ), it's just i need to re-re-re-re-re-re- get into the swing of things.... *pops knuckles, as usual*

==============================================

Yes, they finally entered the Jazz Tournaments Section, which was only 1 section from the Misc section (Lore Central being in-between), but then........

*ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUmmmmmmmmbleeeee*

"What the heck was that?" Tyf asked in a somewhat scared manner.
"No idea... yet it's very loud... and close..." Unknown conceded.
"Oh, that's just my stomach, hehe, need PIE!" Batty then replied haphazardly
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ groaned "Well if you didn't THROW OUT THAT BIG SLICE OF PIE THAT WAS IN YOUR BACKPACK, YOU WOULDN'T BE HUNGRY IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
Batty cowered away a little, then shrugged it off.

The whole group seemed to be on edge, from lack of pie and ale.
They trecked through this section, which seemed to be war-torn, with burnt threads and flames, adding to the irritating atmosphere.

Fquist moaned, as if in pain, unlike BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's annoyed groaning, for Fquist was an Admin, and was not used to such things as "Walking", and considered himself above such things.
*Fquist snapped his fingers, summoning the moving bot over to him, which he sat on it as it walked for him*

Ducky looked in envy, and then asked "Why do you get to ride the Moving Bot there? you should walk like the REST of us!"
Fquist replied rather annoyed "Cause i can, because I am All Powerful Fquist!"
"No, You should walk like the rest of US!"
"No, insolent Moderator, i shall NOT!"
A twisted unusual face now stretched upon the both of them.
Ducky then yelled angrilly "Then i shall DUEL you for the Moving Bot!"
"Then so be it!" Fquist replied
Haze then jumped inbetween them, holding them from eachother
"Why are you two FIGHTING like this?!?!? This will get us no where! Just let Fquist use his Bot!"
Cobra then stepped in, taking the side of Ducky "What do you mean let him use the Bot?!?!!? it's clearly unfair! Ducky is right!"
"It is FAIR, of course it is! It's HIS!"
Then the same wretched faces of Ducky and Fquist bestowed upon Cobra's and Haze's faces.
"Oh ya? WELL HOW ABOUT I'LL DUEL YOU FOR WHO'S RIGHT!" which caused Cobra to pull out her old blaster
Haze yelled "FINE! HAVE IT YOUR WAY!" Then haze pulled out his blaster...
Soon the Taverners were taking sides, challenging eachother to duels and started firing, kicking, punching, spam-throwing, and using various weapons of destruction on eachother.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then pondered before jumping in... "something isn't right here..."
Unknown then intervened "How is something not right?"
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ replied "Well, why is everyone fighting? i mean, we don't usually fight like this, do we?"
"No, we usually don't except maybe you glowering at people's mistakes"
"What do u mean "Glowering at people's mistakes"? I NEVER DO SUCH THINGS!"
"DUELS CAN ONLY DECIDE SUCH THINGS!"
"Ya you do, ALL THE TIME! it's one of your CHARACTER FLAWS!"
Then the angry look that Fquist had that went up Ducky that went up Cobra that went up Haze that is now going to be upon BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ that will then be on Unknown which is happening at this very moment, now stuck unto BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ's and Unkown's faces, causing them to lunge at eachother, struggling for eachothers necks.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Die... Piggy... Swine....
Unknown: NEVER *CHOKE* until you admit *COUGH* your WRONG!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: *CHOKE* *CHOKE *CHOKE* NO! YOU.... FIRST!

RockyR just then walked in on Unkown and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ choking eachother, since everyone seems to get along with RockyR
asking inquistively, RockyR asked "Er... Why are you guys choking eachother like madrabbits?"
Unknown: Because *CHOKE* HE WON'T ADMIT HIS CHARACTER FLAWS!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: NO, BECAUSE *COUGH* YOU WON'T STOP MAKING *CHOKE* FALSE ACCUSATIONS!
RockyR then shook his head and pulled out a bucket of freezing ice cold water, and spash BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and Unknown down, causing them to restrain.
Unknown then recovered "What... Just happened?"
"I beleive.... we were... argueing... and then...i had my hands on your neck" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ replied unsure of the passing events
RockyR then chirped in "Right.... and then you were choking eachother... yelling at eachother.... i believe you left that out..."
Unknown sat there, thinking...
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then bursted in "Y'know, i wonder.... This is the "Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments" section... i believe it could somehow affect our thinking..."
Unknown then Nodded agreeingly
Just then...
*BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!*
Unknown, RockyR, and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ flew back after the explosive projectile detonated near them
Ducky: DIE FQUIST DIE!!!!!!!!!!!
FQUIST: MOVING BOT! ATTACK!
Batty: PIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!
So the battle ensued, rabbits killing eacother.
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: We really need to stop them
RockyR: Ya THINK?

*Pop* Fquist found himself inside the War Tavern once more. He blinked, though not with his eyes so much as his entire body.
"Odd..... it's like when you get hurt in Jazz 2." he said musingly. Around him, other rabbits from the journey were popping into existance, also flashing, though not in an offensive way. Looking down, Fquist noticed he was solid again.
"Why am I here?" he asked aloud, expecting no answer. Last thing he had remembered, Ducky had stolen Dethman's sword and run him through.. but now he was here, and without large, obvious gaping holes. The other rabbits were also puzzled, and he guessed they had had similar experiances.
"Hey! Back already? Where's the pie?!" cried a voice from behind him, and Fquist spun around. Hesheit was standing behind the bartender's counter, arm in a splint.
"Not here." said BBoy, plopping into a chair. "We reached the land of Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments, and I got killed, and ended up here."
"Me too." said Fquist, and there was nodding from the rest of the rabbits. "But I don't think I'm dead...." turning to Hesheit, he asked, "Are you dead?"
"Not that I know of." said Hesheit, then frowned. "I think.. yes.. in some parts of Carrotus and other planets, dieing is not final. You only live more then once. In those spots, when you are killed, you vanish and reappear in the place you came from, or your start pos, to be brief."
"We are indeed fortunate that was one of those spots!" cried Bartman, who had recently reppeared. "With all that fighting, we would surely have lost most of the 'Taverners otherwise!"
"We do, though, in a sense." said Fquist, thoughtfully. "I mean, we don't, but each of us can not assist the rest in the Quest for PIE!"
There was a low moan, and the rabbits declined their heads.
BBoy turned to Hesheit. "Is there any way we can rejoin our comrades?"
"If you set off again, and caught up with the rest, I don't see why not." hesheit said, leaning on the counter. "Unless, of course, you somehow destroyed part of the path behind you."
"Ah, yes." said Cobra, sadly. "We shall not be able to get back over the Error wall, as both list server patches are not reachable for us."
"Uhhh.. yeah, I'd like to say how sorry I am about that." said Tyf, shuffling her feet.
"That's ok." said Fquist, reassuringly. "Assuming some of them survive Jazz Jackrabbit Tournaments, the Pie should still be gained. Drink, anyone?"

BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Rocky, and Unknown looked over the battle scene. Most of the contestants seemed to have inexplicably vanished.
"Aha!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, suddenly. "I know. We just have to douse them all with cold water."
"That was fairly obvious." said Unknown, scathingly. "We need some way to Get the water, though."
"Fairly obvious indeed!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, glaring. "You couldn't have thought of it in a million tuesdays!"
"I could outthink you anyday." said Unknown Rabbit, climbing onto a rock so he could look down on BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ better.
"Then let us DUEL to see who is smarter!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, and the look went over their faces again, and they jumped at eachother madly. Rocky sighed, and heaved the bucket over their heads again.
"There! And that's the last of it, so be careful!" said Rocky, then returned to looking at the battle scene.
"I know." said Unknown, feebly, letting go of BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. "We need to get Batty's backpack, before he vanishes like most of the 'Taverners."
"Good idea." said Rocky, quickly, before BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ could retort. "Why don't I and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ go, while you stay here, so you two can't conflict?"
There was an agreement, so BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ and RockyR set out into the slightly shrunken mass of writhing bodies in search of Batty's backpack.

"Pardon me." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, as he bumped into Derby, who was rolling on the ground in a mad deathlock with Kovu.
"You'll not get away with bumping me!" screamed Derby, and was about to turn on BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ when Rocky flashed Derb one of his most genial smiles, causing Derby to stop moving for a moment, dazed. Then Kovu got up and punched him in the nose, and the combat began again.
"There he is!" cried Rocky, and the two changed direction towards Batty Buddy and Firesword, who were locked in a most pre-modern duel, quite apart from the rest of the fighters.
"Hi, guys!" said Rocky, happily. "How are things?"
The two duelists stopped fighting, dazed, and looked at Rocky.
"Batty, I need to borrow your backpack for a moment." said Rocky, and the bat numbly handed it over, brain moving slow from Rocky's infectious non-violence.
"Ah, thanks." said Rocky, and turned around to show BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, not noticing Firesword suddenly recover and clove Batty in two before the other could retaliate.
After pulling out a nuclear missile (which one of the maddened 'Taverners saw and tried to grab), a toy submarine and a accurate copy of Beethoven's eighth symphony, they found what they had been looking for, a hose.
It obviously worked, though connected to no source of water, so BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ shrugged and sprayed a constantly stream of water around the battlefield, drenching the particiapants throughly, while Rocky happily played with the toy submarine.

Confused, Kovu let go of Derby, who let go of him. All around, rabbits were staring at each other and putting down either their weapons or their opponents, shamefacedly.
"Right!" said Unknown Rabbit, walking among them. "How many do we have left?"
"Nine." said Derby, after looking around a bit.
"I see ten." said DDay, looking oddly at Derby.
"Firesword, DDay, Kovu, Unkown, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, Rocky, Speedy, Ducky and Haze. Nine." said the afore mentioned, testily.
"You forgot to add yourself."
"Oh, I did, did I? Say that again and I'll subtract you!"
"Then let us DUEL!" cried DDay, and the two lunged at eachother, but Rocky hosed them off again before any harm could be done.
"Let's get going before anyone else vanishes." said Rock, quickly. "But for saftey's sake, everyone walk at least six feet apart, and all former combatants as far from each other as possible."
After a bit, the afore mentioned setup was reached, and the *ten* rabbits set off in a direction they hoped was to Lori Central, though of course it might not be.

Que Passa!!!!

Batty wolk up back in the war tavern. "Hey Batty, pull up a seat- we were just about ready to play Trivial persuit." Hesheit muttered. Batty grumbled to himself about dieing, then started to walk toward the bar. "Um... Batty, you look kind of different- new haircut?"
Batty started to reach into his backpack, to look for a mirror... but...
"Huh? My backpacks gone..." His eyes suddenly grew really big. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
Wraping himself in his wings, Batty took off for the bathroom, and locked the door. Fquist looked worried, and knocked on the door. "Go away- I'm not decent..." was all Batty replied.

Meanwhile in Lori Central forum...
"Wow... I've never seen so much purple in my life..." Rocky said, looking arround. Everything was all purple... and very... LORI! There were pictures of Lori everywhere. Large statues of Lori... Lori drinking fountains. Needless to say, a lot of the taverners were boggled by the wonder of so much Lori in one space.

"Ah well..." Ducky said. "Compaired to the last two forums, this should be a breeze- I mean, what could possably go wrong in Lori Central?" She trailed off when she noticed everyone looking at her with fear in their eyes... well, they wern't looking at HER, so much as above her head...
"I shouldn't have said that shouldn't I?" everyone nodded. "There's something rediculously big, surprisingly evil-looking, and strangly out of place in the situation behind me isn't there?" Everyone nodded again.
Ducky turned arround...

A large sponge-like thing was behind her...

After a hideous number of days, I have given up waiting for someone else to post.

The 'Taverners quailed before the giant sponge-like thing, in the sense that they made peeping noises. Until they learned what it could do, the giant sponge-like thing was possibly a force to be reckoned with.
"Who are you, oh giant sponge-like thing that does not seem in place?" asked Ducky, deciding she might be the best of them to talk to it, as it had come up behind her instead of any of the rest. However, the giant sponge-like thing did not give its name. It did not give its occupation. Or gender, mailing address, perfume company. It merely thwapped Ducky, waterlogging her, and.. moved foward, emitting a deep sound that sounded like "Kill... Lori.".
"Incredible!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, awestruck. "A significantly engorged sentient bathing apparatus with a built in desire to ventilate Lori!"
"Or a giant sponge-like thing who wants to kill Lori." said Haze, then leaped foward, swinging a bucket of glue madly. "Away, you cleanly beast!"
DDay looked inquiringly at Haze. "What's giong on?" he asked.
"Apparently," said Unknown Rabbit, "this creature who seems strangely out of place has come to the Lori Central forum with a wish to destroy everything portraying or otherwise related to Lori. And as we have no wish to let this forum be destroyed, for one thing it could slow our return, we are attempting to destroy or defeat in some other way the giant sponge-like thing."
"Oh." said DDay, as Firesword took a chop at the underside of TGS-LT, only to hit a section Haze had gluuied, and thus struggle to pull his blade free.
"I don't think this incredibly direct approach is working." said Rocky, watching Ducky batter TGS-LT with her now throughly wet TwiG. Already two statues were in ruins, and the thing was now replenishing its dampness from one of the fountains.
"And you have a better plan?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ.
"We need some sort of super weapon. And a good source of them is right under our noses!" cried Rock, pointing down.
There sat Batty's backpack.

Glick.. sorry this is so short, but (as you might have noticed from my non-posting) I'm in a state of non-inspiration. Hopefully this will move the plot along enough so someone else can post..

Thanking their lucky stars, and a few of the unlucky ones, they opened the backpack. It probably would have been easier had they not all tried to open it at once, but they eventually disentangled themselves from each other and looked inside.
"Why is it so dark in there?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ.
"Because you're blocking the light," replied Haze.
"Oh, come on, how can I be blocking out all the light?" inquired BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. The two of them looked up, and saw to their alarm that the giant sponge-like thing was slowly rolling over them.
"Run!" yelled DDay, who had also realised what was causing the eclipse.
"Now, that isn't very democratic," Batty complained. "Hey! Where are you going?"
The rest of the Taverners, who were by this time running like... er... frightened rabbits, didn't notice Batty disappear under a mass of sponge-like stuff. The giant sponge-like thing was also oblivious to the rabbit beneath it. Batty, however, was keenly aware that he was stuck. He noted that he was quite comfortable, and could breathe quite easily, but he could no longer reach his backpack.
After a few minutes of undignified scurrying, the rest of the Taverners settled down and found their bearings.
"Right," said Ducky, "We'd better have a head count."
It was at this point that they realised that Batty was nowhere to be seen. But there was definitely a muffled yelling coming from somewhere.
"You don't suppose..." pondered Haze, "that he's under the sponge?"
His question was answered when the sponge rolled of their comrade. They rushed over to him and picked him up.
"Why... hello auntie caterpillar! How was your sailing lesson?" said a mildly dazed Batty. But there was no time for small talk.
"We must stop the sponge from moving any farther. It could crush a Lori monument at any minute!" declared Unknown Rabbit.
"But how?" asked Ducky, who realised just too late that the question was far too obvious.
The Taverners lapsed into silence as they tried to work out how to stop a giant sponge-like thing from moving. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ thought back to his bath tub.
"I've got it!" he yelled, "All we have to do is waterlog it!"
"Well... Okay," said Unknown Rabbit, "but where are we going to find any water around here?"
Again their eyes fell on Batty's backpack. It was a few seconds before Haze coughed and pointed towards a large Lori-patterned water tower looming above them.
"Okay, here's the plan," said Rocky, "Someone climbs up the tower and finds out how to release the water. We lure the giant sponge-like thing underneath and Hey Presto!"
They shuffled uneasily at the sound of the word "lure", but they nevertheless agreed that the plan was a good idea.

Que Passa!!!!

"By the way, Batty... How'd you get back here so fast?" Unknown Rabbit said with a puzzeled look on his face. "And how'd you end up being a rabbit?" "Oh, that... I found a worm hole to an alturnate universe in the bathroom. I got to meet Elvis, Jimmy Hoffa, and some bald fat yellow guy with a toaster who bought me a drink. Steven Hawkings offered me a trip back in the story on condition that I let him take all the credit for finding the worm hole. As for this..." Reveiling a zipper on the chest of his rabbity self, he unzipped it. A wing popped out of the hole in the zipper, and grabbed the backpack... a short time later, Batty popped out of the costume. "... It was the only thing I could find to cover up the fact that I was backpackless... Well, actually, it was a choice between this, a Hello Kitty costume, or a Baby Huey outfit, and I'm a little too old for diapers..." "Well, it's great that your back. We need a decoy..." "Why am I not surprized to hear those words?" Batty deadpanned. Pulling a mantador's costume(you know... Bullfighter style duds and a red cape.) out of his backpack... compleate with a life insurance policy form, he then timidly started for the sponge. "If whoever's going for the tower isn't done in five minutes- whatever's left of me is going to be really ticked off."

(Oops. "Rabbit" was a typo, but forgetting you were back in the War Tavern was bad).


There was more nervous shuffling, but it ended when Unknown Rabbit remembered the word "lure" and volunteered to head up the water tower. He set off before anyone else realised.
"Good," said Batty, "I really didn't want to get ticked off."
"Wait... how are we going to lure it to the watchtower?" asked Unknown Rabbit.
"Let's see what's in here..." said Batty, rummaging around in his backpack. A can of yellow paint landed at Unknown's feet.
"Anything else?" he asked. Batty extracted a motorised pump.
"What we really need," announced Rocky, "is the biggest Lori monument we can find."
"But where are we going to find a monument big enough that we can move to the tower?" asked Batty.
"Something hollow wood be good."
"Yes. Inflatable maybe."
"Like that rubber rabbit costume."
"Only yellow. And bigger. Full of air, say."
"But all we have is the costume, this can of yellow paint, and that motorised pump."
"I've got it!" interjected Batty, "We paint ourselves yellow, use the motorised pump to dry ourselves quickly, and use the costume to tie us together so we look like a big Lori!"
"Actually, I've got a better idea," said Haze.

An hour or two later, the yellow inflated costume was being propped up against the water tower. The taverners settled down to wait. The giant sponge-like thing turned and started rolling towards them. It picked up speed, and didn't bother putting it back again. The faster it went, the more it rumbled.
"It's noisy," said Ducky, "a little too noisy."

Uhhh.. yes. You really didn't read much. I would really appreciate it if you first checked what the plot was before posting, and I'm sure I speak for the other posters as well.

*deletes post* You're completely right of course. Guess i wasn't thinking straight yesterday. I have regained my common sense after some sleep now. I'll read the entire story first. SOWWY!!

(If the above thing does not work, get the Vitalize! plugin from http://www.vitalizeme.com/vcade/Download.php)

After a few tries, the sponge was waterlogged. Happily, the 'Taverners rushed over to it, where it lay feebly, and were about to go at it with small knives, before BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pushed them back. "Beware," he said, "this thing may still have malicious powers."
This was true, so they bewared, as BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ fumbled with his backpack to get it open.
"Oh, let me." said Batty, opening his, and pulled out.. a combination Shrinkray-Plothole machine. Shrugging, he aimed it at the sponge, which shrunk to the size of a normal sponge before vanishing.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Darth Vader's eyebrows once more went up as a convinient sponge arrived to help him with the vast army of lemon pies that had struck him.

"So, can we depart from Lori Central, now that the menace of the Giant Sponge-Like Thing is over?" asked Ducky, as Batty returned the helpful ray to his backpack.
"I see no reason why not." said Unknown, climbing down from the water tower. "Once out of here, we cross over to the Non Jazz-Related Forums, then into Misc, where we shall find the PIE!"
Several hats were thrown up into the air, ownership questionable, then the group set off following an arrow on a sign that read "This way out of Lori Central."

"There!" said DDay, pointing. "The next step of our quest!"
They stepped across the border of Lori Central/Non Jazz-Related Forums. but no sooner had they done this, when they all had a very funny feeling.
"I'm melting, I'm melting!" cried Firesword, fearfully, but nothing so commonplace was happening. They were changing in a most unusual way..
"What the..?" asked BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, mostly echoed by the rest.
Batty Buddy had a hiking costume on, complete with backpack, Firesword had turned into a french musketeer, DDay had become a middleaged bachelor stereotype, Haze looked like Colonel Sanders, Kovu appeared as a lawyer, Unknown the lawyer for the other side, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ a stereotypical lab type person, Rocky looked and acted like Mr. Rogers, Speedy was dressed up as Hamlet, Ducky had changed into a Public Relations person, complete with desk, and Derby was a quite striking brown horse. But the strangest part, was that they all, with the exception of Derby, were human.
"Evidently," said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, pulling a sheet of paper out from a pocket, "the transition from Jazz-Related to Non Jazz-Related has affected us, as well, altering our physical components to a definitely modified exterior, accompanying brain waves to accomondate our recently aquired appearances."
"Isn't that great, kids?!" asked Rocky to no one in paticular.
"I don't care, unless it gets me money." drawled DDay, languidly. Firesword glared at him and drew his sword. "Lazy miscreant! Come, draw thy sword so that I might partake of thy blood for this affrontation of our colleauge!"
"To be, or not to be Human, that is the question.." muttered Speedy.
"Human, of course." said Batty. "Much better for jogging!"
"My client, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, is in the right of this matter." said Kovu, "but that has nothing to do with the case and shall be ignored. Your honor, I shall now prove that BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, on today the this month of this year, articulated a correct statement of our current physical status."
"Rubbish!" cried Unknown, stomping the ground. "You forget to take into account the vast evidence contrary to your proposition. To demonstrate, I call my first witness. Witness?"
"Neeeeigh!" cried Derby, and inspected the ground for food.
"Oh, please, don't quarrel so." said Ducky, wringing her hands. "Let's try to figure out a way out of this situation, so that we can get the PIE!"
"I do Pie RIGHT!" cried Haze.

The scene was uneasy - the opportunity for achieving Pie was much less at hand. Losing their rabbititidy ought to have bothered them, but only their personalities were out of whack. In the back of everyone's mind was the idea that they had come with a purpose, but most of them had something more or less incoherent to bother wwith - such as eating off the ground or bantering and rebutting eachother. Or in Haze's corner, propping the "new" KFC "tangy" popcorn chicken, as rehashed as that was. Ducky and Kovu were forced to throw the book at him about copyright infringement, so as not to be lawsuited up. It did ever hurt, and Haze's Colonel glasses were broken.
This was the problem, normally none of them had much conflict between eachother, especially after taking out the sponge thing together. Now their was a huge conflict of interest.

Batty Buddy was frankly going plum nuts wanting to go for a run with them, but they all had something else on their minds. Derby wanted to eat plum nuts, if that was a food at all. He was hoping to avoid Grape-Nuts at least. DDay wanted to sit down a be a bum or maybe pick up a woman, but the chances of that were slim. Unknown and Kovu also wanted to take a seat and argue eachother to death. Rocky had attempted a takeover of Ducky's desk to perform a puppet show and failed, whereas in good news, Firesword and Speedy ad opted to perform a show together, but knew no one would watch. Baeauman wanted to mix himself a drink. Ducky was the only one with Pie on the mind, trying to keep "her eyes on the goal" as she repeated to herself. Haze began to regain conciousness and surveyed the terrain. What a mixture of garbage, especially in the Misc. corner, full of towering mounatins. Many of them had collapsed before their eyes due to the wind, they were made of compacted but maliciously inane junk. They built back up rapidly. Possum Forest looked pretty undesireable too, especially since Baeauman pointed out they might become opposums. Only the art place, and that other thing, "LOOK - - - Comedy cafe!" yelled Haze.

This would suit their needs completely, and possibly serve pie or know of a pie distributor, pointed out Ducky. Perfect luck it was, they assumed, and Batty Buddy took off down the trail. Firesword mounted Derby and with spindly sword in hand, followed Batty. Unfortunately for time's sake the rest of them walked with low or mid intensity. Within the hour they had almost all collected, and finally Ducky, who had rolled the desk the whole way, came into view. Most of them had gone inside, Baeauman already having become incoherently drunk (For those who wonder what scientists do for fun) and Dday was having a wild nap in one of the booths. The establishment rang similar to the War Tavern but somehow it was more accomidating and the "decor" was nicer. The comedy stage was containing Speedy and Firesword as they had gotten into a real argument after Speedy had been poked. A bad day for Shakespearean dialogue. As Derby sat outside tied to the post, Rocky sat comfortably after changing out of his sweater. He looked around most pleasingly, and saw a huge man sitting along the wall. He wore a glaringly red shirt with white lettering tht read "I like pie". He tapped Ducky's shoulder and pointed. "It's a wonderful day in his neighborhood, he has one to himself!" Ducky had to slap him, and then slap herself. It was "I like pie"! He was once the board's newest member, she recalled. He must know how to fix their dilemma.
On his plate sat crumbs, which if Baeauman had looked, would have been determined Pie. Ducky slowly moved over to him to ask a nonoffending question. She had to start small. "Um, do you like pie?" she said, carefully. He sat up and looked over with a wonderful smile full of cherry and crumbs. "Yes, as a matter of fact!" he sad cheerily, or maybe cherrily. Ducky humored him, as was appriopriate in the comedy cafe.
A few minutes later: She still tried to think of a safe question. "Do you know, where, we could get some?" she queried in her best nongender/racial specific voice. He turned to her again happily. "Yes, menu," he pointed out. So the comedy cafe had pie, did they. But how much? She wanted to ask him, but was afraid of threatening his appetite. Instead she walked outside, patting Derby's nose, and then checking out back. It was a line of eighteen-wheelers, stretching to the horizon and lined up neatly. "Oh heavens!" she exclaimed. All of the trucks read PIE on them. She never thought they'd have this much. And then it clicked again - being a comedy cafe, they would need this food item for both their food selection and their routines.

The hard part, or the crust, as she hoped to explain it, would be to borrow these trucks. No doubt they had all of the shipments of pie imaginable. But would they give it up? And what about having less fur? Would everyone want to give up this trait? Time would tell. (Hopefully time stands for "unknown rabbit" or another writer)

Stuff is good

"I've got an idea!" Batty said, when suddenly out of the blue the trucks exploded into a huge ball of flame sending bits of pie all over the Comedy Cafe. "Ummm...BB...did you do that?" Kovu asked. "No." Batty replied. Ducky ran over to the flaming destruction and yelled, "Ahh! What happened to the trucks full of pie!?" "I suppose it's just a weird unexplainable comedy cafe mystery." DDay said. "But what about the PIE!?" Ducky exclaimed.
"We'll just have to head for the Misc. Forum and go on with our original plan." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ answered. "Indeed," agreed Batty. "Onward to the Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie topic!"

The group set off, and left the Comedy Cafe. They entered the land of the Non Jazz-Related Forums, and then traveled to Misc.
The place was huge! It had weird oddball colors everywhere, and was lined with bits of spam. "This is the biggest forum we've been to yet!" Speedy exclaimed. "Look at all the topics and people, and...and...wow!" The group looked around in amazment when finally, Haze spoke up, "Pie, guys. Lets get the pie." "Oh yeah!" They all started reading the topics. "Does anyone see it? I don't see it." Unkown Rabbit asked. "Hang on...I'll asked that person over there" Rocky walked up to a person and asked, "Excuse me, could you tell me where to find the Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie topic?" "Oh my. You must be new here. That topic is old now! It's 3 pages into the Misc history! In order to get there you're gonna have to travel through a page portal. There's one just on the other side of that hill." "Thanks" Rocky said and went back to the group.
"What'd he say?" "He said it's 3 pages back. We should have somebody go through the page portal and reply to it so that it'll be new again. Who's willing to do it?" "I will." Batty volenteered. "Okay, It's just around that hill over there."

The group went around the hill and found a glowing circle floating just above the ground. "Well...I'll be seein' ya." Batty flew into the portal and suddenly found himself in a room full of doors. 53 doors to be exact. Each one had a number above it. "Hmmm..." Batty opened door #3 and went inside. He saw a bunch of topics everywhere, but only one caught his eye. Probably because of it's super long title: Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie. "Great glowing orbs of jello, I've found it!" He yelled and flew into the topic. It was three pages long. The beginning message had a bunch of links in it. The following replies said things like, Lol, 'lo Bob at first, but then they started saying things like, i liek piy, so sue me and Bow to the pie! IT commands you! "Weird" Batty said and hit the "reply" button. The topic flashed and he found himself in front of a large white box. "Hmm.." Batty wrote his message in the box, (a simple message that just said, "Pie") and then left the topic. There in front of him was the group. He was back at page 1 of the Misc forum.

"Hey, Batty! You did it. Nice work." Ducky said, "But now how are we gonna get this topic back to the War Tavern?" "Perhaps Derby can do it. He's an admin." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ suggested. "Yes," DDay responded, "But incase you didn't notice, he's also a horse!" "Oh yeah." "I know how to do it." Said a voice behind them. They all turned to see..."Fquist!?" The group was shocked. There in front of them stood Fquist...though not in his rabbit form, they still all recognized him. "Indeed, it is I." Fquist said. "I fixed the J2O warps so that they worked in the JCF too!" "Great!" BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ said, "Now we can just move everybody with this topic to the WT!" "No....We can't take the topic through the warp I'm afraid." Fquist replied. "But I did bring my Moving Bot. He'll take the topic while we take the warp." "Ahh! Brilliant!" Batty said.

The group put the plan into action and they all ended up in the Wartavern and back into there original bodies (rabbits and such) with...more pie than the knew what to do with...well not quite that much.

=========

Alrighty new plot...Mine is done.

"You're back!" cried BBoy, from underneath a table, although it sounded a bit more like "Yur backsh!". "Whersh thuh poi?"
Ducky pointed to a dark corner, where Derby and Fquist were merging the Pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie pie topic with the War Tavern, so it would be in their larders and not uselessly laying around in a (however dark and mysterious) corner.
"Great!" cried Hesheit, exuberantly. "And while you were gone, the miscellaneous food and drinks replenished in a completely unexplained way! We can stay here for the rest of our days, baring annoying adventures."
"My thoughts exactly." said Tyf, slumped in a chair. "I've been part of enough adventures recently for a pulitzer prize award and full length animated movie. From now on, I just want to relax, and no adventures for as long as possible."
And just when the others were murmuring agreement, there was a crash, as the door exploded inwards. A mysterious figure stood in the doorway, as was usual.
"My eyes hurt!" cried the mysterious figure. There was some nervous laughter at the old running gag from the 'Taverners, and then the new arrival lifted its face..
or would have, if it had a face to lift.

Meanwhile, Ancoysnd strolled peacefully along a sunlit trail through the not-quite-so-dark-or-forbidden-forest, humming Beethoven's 10th symphony without knowing it. Today was a big day for him. Today...

"Hey, everybunny! I'm back..." said DeraldSny as he walked into the Tavern. He then noticed the mysterious figure. "Hey, what happened to you, bud?" The figure turned...

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" Derald screamed as he jumped back. "Where's your face?! What are you?!" Derald punched the figure in self-defense, then hid behind Fquist, the only guy he recognized at the moment.

...today, he was being interviewed for promotion in Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. If all went well, he would get to think up new products to sell, such as Happy Puppy Pickle Inc. brand Happy Puppy Pickle Ink, which was green, and a horrible pun.
He went over his answers in his head again. No, he didn't smoke, unless shot with a huge gun. Yes, his language was clean, or if it wasn't, his (Derby: Content edit) cleaning lady was in trouble. No, the artic wasn't their main sales area. Yes, they sold pickles.
Suddenly, two figures jumped out of a bush in front of him, and hastily laid a trip-wire down in the path, which Ancoysnd managed to properly trip over. Before he could finish scolding himself for his own stupidity, he was firmly tied up with gum.
Gum?
That was it! Happy Puppy Pickle flavored gum. No artificial preservatives.. Ancoysnd pondered gum marketing as he was clumsily dragged off someplace.

The new arrival went flying back into a table, which was not bolted down, and thus tipped over. While the faceless one laid there, dazed, the 'Taverners could get a good look at the front of his head. As they had first surmised, he, she, or it had indeed no face.
"All right, buddy, what's your gender?" snapped Hesheit, who wanted a monopoly on that sort of thing.
"Male..." said a feeble, disembodied voice. Which made sense, as there was no mouth for it to come from. "I am 'Faceless' Jim Bobo, and I'm your new agent."
"Agent?!" was gasped collectively from the 'Taverners, other then Derald, who still had no idea what was going on.
"Yes.. the old one quit."
"Old one?!" was repeated loudly, and then Ducky asked "Since when did we have an agent, even a quit one?"
"You see.." said 'Faceless', "the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be decided that you lot were a prime source of commercialism. I, myself, use Cute GenEX brand mouthwash, free flower with each bottle. So an agent, the nature of which I can not reveal at this time, was appointed to maintain your best interests. You may recall the movie you people made. The idea for it was implanted in your heads by said agent, and thus wasn't as original as you first thought.
"Now, the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be thought that about the only thing you weren't doing in the merchandise field was book deals. You may recall you've been having more adventures lately then usual."
"Yes..." growled Tyf, annoyed. "What gives you people the right to make us do things like this?"
"Because you are merely mortal, and are the natural semi-slaves of the higher beings." said 'Faceless', calmly, as if it was nothing unusual.
"Anyway, the old agent quit after Kovu turned evil again, saying it wasn't true to the characters. There then ran some agentless plot, which as you may have noticed contained a hefty deal of copyright infringement and forum related stuff. GenEX was even removed after a un-agented viewer's poll! So I was appointed. Yes, I, 'Faceless' Jim Bobo!
"Now, you can imagine, I hope, my shock and surprise when the powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be told me that all War Tavern merchandise, books, movies, etc, were off. I naturally asked why, as this put me out of a job. It seems that for a long time now, the powers have been using non-magical methods to keep Deraldsny, there, away. Due to a genetic error, Derald contains an odd mutation that makes anything done by the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be rebound upon themselves. For example, if they tried to make Derald turn into a chicken, they would turn into one.
"Recently, their defense was breached when the Giant Sponge like thing was defeated by you 'Taverners, allowing Derald to get through to the 'Tavern, where he is now. Thus, the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be, have collectively said 'Let's call the whole thing off.'
"Obviously, I'm not happy about this, as there's few job oppurtunities for unscrupulous agents with no face. So I came here to ask you to help me storm the lands of the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be, to make them relinquish their relinquishment and make you all mindless slaves of commercialism again. What do you say, are you with me? With Derald, there, nothing they can do will effect you!"
The 'Taverners stared incredulously at either him or Derald, neither of whom seemed to notice their incredulous stares.

"Mindless slaves?" cried Derald. "No way! Slavery was abolished in my country a LONG time ago! And why are these so-called Powers trying to keep me away? I have no mutation! I'm only human!" Derald promptly punched Jim in his faceless-face.

Suddenly, Donald, Derald's lookalike younger brother walked in. "I heard everything. And *I* say we should go and teach these so-called Powers a lesson they'll never forget!"

"Because they tried to keep you guys out of the Tavern?" queried Tyf.

"Not only that, but to let them know that we have free will and won't be put down easily!" replied Donald. "So, what do you say?"

'Faceless' groaned from the table, which he had once more crashed into. "Don't.. destroy the powers. I'll be even more out of a job then I already am.. and that's inhumanitarian of you, or something. Really, it's not so bad being mindless slaves, you never seemed to mind before. And it would get me my job back!!"
"Don't listen to him." growled Donald. "Faceless is faceless, untrustworthy, slimly, two faced.."
"Wait." said BBoy, hesitantly, who had lost his slur. "How can he be both two faced and faceless?"
Donald shot him a powered up glare, and continued. "Freedom of will for all! Let's go to those powers, yes, but to defeat them, and not to once more go under their rule!"
"I have no mutation." Derald stated, anger welling up inside him. "How dare they slander me so? I'm with Donald. Let's go teach them Powers a lesson they'll never forget!"
"No, you can't!" screamed Faceless, who had shakily risen to his feet and had Derald by the collar. "You don't know what they'll do to me!"
"If you didn't want us to go for them, why did you tell us in the first place?" queried Ducky. "You should have known we'd rather have free will."
"Free will is dangerous!" exclaimed Faceless, pounding the table he had been crashing into, which split in two. "Can't you see? It just leads to big arguments and unrealistic plots!"
"Who says we don't WANT unrealistic plots?" asked Rocky, from the realm of notbeingnoticedia. "Some of our best material has been completely unbelievable."
"Who says we want plots?" muttered Tyf, who was still in favor of relaxing for a while.
"WE NEED TO GET THOSE POWERS!" cried Derald, echoed by Donald, who was waving a hastily made rally flag.
In all the confusion, it was quite natural that none of them noticed 'Faceless' slip out of the Tavern, and walk away, humming to himself. It had all been a lie about Derald's mutation and the chickens and the cancellation of merchandise, of course. If it had been true, the Powers that Don't be, Didn't be, and never Will be could have found some other method of dealing with Derald. As it was, the argument resulting from his brief visit should boost sales tremendously, especially in the audio department. By the time it was finished, they would probably have forgotten the reason for argument, and the powers would be safe.

"Look, where are you taking me?" asked Ancoysnd of one of his two assailants, both of whom were wearing large masks.
"We're the running gag police." said the one he hadn't asked, in a low voice. "And our eyes are red and always hurt. You've had your job for too long, you see. You should always be getting new jobs and having something happen to them."
"But I like my job!" said Ancoysnd, indignantly. "I had the answers for the questions all ready, and several ideas for new products, and the pay's good!"
"Exactly." said the one he had originally asked. "Which is why you need a new job you won't last long in, so the cycle can start again."
"And yet it has to be something that will make him encounter the War Tavern in some way." said the one who hadn't last talked. "Otherwise the gag will be gone, and it'll just be running."
"I'LL be running as soon as I get my second wind back." said Ancoysnd, who had just realized that gum wasn't a very efficient method of holding people.
"Oh, no you won't." said one of the apparent running gag police, though it was unclear which one. "Even if you break out from your incredibly tough bonds, we brought backup."
And then Ancoysnd heard an incredibly ominous sound.
"Hello, consumer, yes hello, consumer, bah bup bada bah, BeBop Cola!"

Ancoysnd froze, allowing the running gag police to drag him along with greater ease. True, the timeline he had encountered BeBop Cola machines in had been erased in some weird method, but the subconscious of his subconscious was telling him they were to be bewared of.
Evidently, there was little hope of running away in that direction, and most other directions were covered by the two running gag police. But which direction was the machine in? Being dragged along the ground, he was unable to see it, so no matter which direction he tried to make a break in, he might run into it.
Of course, he wondered, can a cola machine move? He knew they were to be bewared, but no specifics. The worst it could do, he reasoned with himself, was shoot soda cans at him.
"Hello, consumer, yes hello, consumer, bah bup bada bah, BeBop Cola!" came again, to reassure Ancoysnd that it was still there. And.. it was the same volume. Apparently the thing, somehow, could move after all.
Tied up in gum, dangerous cola machine on one side, muscular running gag police on two others. Ancoysnd was quite at a loss for plans..
..but then it struck him. The perfect idea. Why hadn't it occured to him before?

"LESS FILLING!" screamed Batty, for no apparent reason, as the argument began to subside. As 'Faceless' Jim Bobo had predicted, none of them really remembered what it had been about, even Derald and Donald, whose rally flag had been torn to shreds and eaten.
"Hey, Hesheit, you ok?" asked Ducky, worridly, as the afore mentioned name climbed out from under the cherry table.
"No." groaned Hesheit, convulsing. "I landed on my injured arm, and now it's injured, only more so."
"Here I come to shave the day!" was heard from outside, as ULTRA NURSE! ran in, with a makeshift cape made of stiched together bandages. "Who's the invalid?"
"He is." said Slayer, pointing at Hesheit.
"She is." said Cobra, pointing at Hesheit.
"It is." said BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, pointing at Hesheit.
"Hesheit is." said Kovu, pointing at.. oh, you get the idea.
"Say no more!" cried ULTRA NURSE!, and in a moment was at the paitent's side. "How'd you get so injured?"
"I was in a fight with some Giant Evil 3D Lizards that turned into a football match." said Hesheit, matteroffactedly.
"..... and how did it get worse?" asked the questioner, after deciding it was best not to persue the original line of inquiry.
"I was hit.. under this table. And I landed on my arm."
"I see." said ULTRA NURSE!, nodding her head understandingly. "What hit you? Hernia?"
"No.." said Hesheit, pointing at Ducky, who had admittedly gone a little wild during the argument. "her.. knee. Ugh."
"That's what I said." said ULTRA NURSE!, and then to the others, "Brain damage, too.
"Well, looks like you're out of commission for a while. Unless.."
There was a forboding silence, but Cobra kicked it out, because it was underage.
"I've got this new potion which is supposed to cure injuries such as this, but it's never been tested." said ULTRA NURSE!, musingly. "Want to try it, or let the arm heal on its own?"
There was a dramatic pause, who had aquired some ID and was thus allowed to stay for the needed period.
"Ok." said Hesheit, and downed the potion. Then everything went funky-swirly..

Lol, Unknown.



Hesheit laid his head back on the floor as the room around him spun like mad while flashing colors danced around. Then it was all normal again.

"Hey!" He exclaimed. "My arm feels great! I'm okay again!" He lifted his head, and looked around. "Why are you all looking at me funny?" "Uhh...err...uhh...." Everyone stammered, and then BBoy said, "I must be seein' things. I need another drink. *hic!*" BBoy staggered to the counter and refilled his glass. "Umm...Hesheit," Ducky said, "Y-you look uhh...different."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Hesheit looked down at himself, "AHH! NO! WHAT HAPPENED! WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME!? I'VE BEEN TURNED INTO A...A........Wait...what am I?" "Woah! You're fading away! I can't see you!" Said Ducky. BBoy glanced over, and his eyes widened. Then he downed the rest of the bottle. "I believe..." Batty said, "That you've been turned into a chameleon!" "What's that?" Hesheit asked. "It's a lizard that-" "WHAT!? I'M A LIZARD!?!?" "Err...yes. And the reason we can't see you is because you change colors. You chamoflauge with your surroundings." "OH NO! THIS IS AWEFUL! I'M A LIZARD OF ALL THINGS!! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!" Hesheit pointed at the nurse, who said, "Hey...I warned you. This stuff hasn't been tested...until now." Hesheit fainted. The nurse stood up. Ducky laughed. BBoy downed another bottle.

Que Passa!!!!

"Cheer up!" Batty said. "At least you've still got your wits." With that, he tried to give Hesheit a hearty pat on the back.
"OW! My nose..." "Uh... On second thought-" Turning to ULTRA NURSE!, he asked "-Is there any chance of a cure for... um... lizardness?"
"Well, now that you mention it..."

"...yes, one can safely become unlizarded." said ULTRA NURSE!, amazingly at the same time as Hesheit revived.
Hesheit had an inkling ULTRA NURSE! wasn't mentioning something here, but he/she/it didn't want to be a lizard forever (the 'Taverners might get accused of hypocrisy, attacking giant evil 3D beserk lizards, but not former companion camoflauge lizards). "Ok, I'll try that, then. Does it taste any better then the previous one?"
"I donsht know whot yur talkongs aboutsh!" cried BBoy, drunkenly. "Thatsh GRIT stuff!" He attempted to reach for another bottle of the lizard formula, but ULTRA NURSE! stopped him firmly, before handing another bottle to Hesheit's nigh-invisible lizard form. "Here you go. It should taste like a combination between rose petals and barbed wire."
This last part was obviously calculated to make Hesheit love it, but it didn't work. In the end, he/she/it drank it in a cup of pepper juice, so as to dilute the flavor, but hopefully not the effect.
Everything went swirly-funky, and when he/she/it got back, it was clear he/she/it was no longer a lizard. Hesheit had turned into a small racoon, which ULTRA NURSE! scooped up (I needed a new sidekick.." and flew away with, to bravely bandage what no nurse had bandaged before.
"Whatsh happened?" asked BBoy's voice, from the counter. BBoy did not appear to be there, however, adding to the confusion.
"Uhhh.. BBoy! Where'd you go?" asked DDay, trying to sort things out.
"Nowheres! I'm shtill right hire!"
The 'Taverners, perplexed, began looking around in dark corners, and such, until Ducky bumped into BBoy, who was still in front of the counter, only invisible.
"Oh no.. just how much of that lizard formula did you drink?" asked Ducky, worridly. After all, invisible people could steal drinks without anyone noticing.
"Two bottlsh!" cried BBoy's invisible voice, exuberantly. "Itsh gets 12 out off 9!"
And while they were wondering about what to do with an invsible drunken rabbit, BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ spoke up. "Ok, everyone. So BBoy's invisible. But the more pressing matter is that we need a new bartender!"
There was a low murmur as everyone digested this fact, agreed, and decided they had obviously thought of it first and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was stealing their idea.
"And so, I purpose, to see who shall be the new bartender... a CONTEST!" cried BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ. There was a small cheer from the 'Taverners, and BBoy's invisble form slid off the barstool, unconscious.

"Not a bad idea, I guess" Ducky said, "But what kind of contest?" "I don't know." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ replied, "But whoever wins will be the new bartender! I'll go get some paper and we'll write down the objective and rules for." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ ran to get some paper, tripped over BBoy and fell on his face. "Watch out for that flat spot." Batty said. "That was no flat spot, my foot hit something! Did you trip me BBoy?" *no response* BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ felt around at his feet, "Aha!" He made the motion like he was lifting something up. "Is it him?" Kovu asked. "I guess so. He must've fainted. Oh well." BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ set BBoy on a table and got a pencil and paper. "Okay, now what's the objective for the contest?" "Well," Ducky said, "I think we should..."

I'm too lazy to think of a contest for them. (But I will if nobody else does)