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How Would You Pitch A Jazz Jackrabbit Movie?

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Jun 17, 2016, 10:03 AM
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How Would You Pitch A Jazz Jackrabbit Movie?

Here's something everyone can jump in on: If you were to pitch a Jazz Jackrabbit movie, how would you envision it? You can take this as seriously as you like, this is just supposed to be a fun thought experiment, so go nuts.

I'll start with what I think is the obvious way to do it...
An animated comedy starring Billy West as Jazz, Rob Paulsen as Devan, and Jennifer Hale as Eva. It would roughly follow the story of the first game, with Jazz travelling through the galaxy in search of Devan's lair so he can save Eva, in hopes it will bring him fame and fortune. Jazz is basically how we see him in the comics included in the game manuals, Devan is into the theatrics of being a villain, but doesn't actually know what he's doing, and Eva just humours Devan out of pity. She's used to dealing with idiots, and he's no exception. For the final showdown, Eva and a bunch of Devan's guards hang out on the sidelines and take bets. Devan ends up going down after one punch.
As an after credits sequence, Lori and Spaz riff on bad sequels, talking about unnecessary changes, shoehorned-in characters, and pandering, with the punchline being Razz walking into view and lamenting the general attitude of potentially good sequels that try different things getting shot down in favour of safer bets that turn out bad.
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Jun 17, 2016, 10:23 AM
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A prequel about how Jazz came to be. His Dad is the source of cheesy one liners and his wife doesn't know how to take care of children, leaving the kids (Jazz and Spaz) inside the house. Chaos ensues as Jazz tries to keep his (half) brother under control. How will Spaz manage to eat the dopefish? What is his true name?

Later on, Jazz starts going to school, but a war is still ongoing. Devan is the nerdy punching bag being the odd species of the bunch, but he learns to strike back by unleashing contraptions created in his grandmothers basement - hidden.

I was meant to make a comic on this, but I have doubts about it happening. That's not the full story, of course (in fact I never finished writing it).

I prefer new stories over retelling old ones. Unless the old one was a broken mess.
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Jun 17, 2016, 10:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Treylina View Post
I prefer new stories over retelling old ones. Unless the old one was a broken mess.
*ahem*Lori and Spaz are lovers and siblings at the same time*ahem*
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Jun 17, 2016, 11:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Primpy View Post
*ahem*Lori and Spaz are lovers and siblings at the same time*ahem*
The lovers thing was retconned long ago. That asides, I consider proto-Lori and Lori two different characters. They look different enough body shape-wise.

Also, I headcanon that Jazz and Spaz share the same father, but Lori and Jazz only share the same mother. That makes Spaz unrelated to her. I made these out of why Lori looked so different.
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Jun 18, 2016, 03:41 AM
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The TSF Lori is hotter. I mean look at her .
The Lori from the JJ2 ending looks more, idk... goofy.
So yeah, I count the TSF Lori as the real Lori, and the JJ2 ending Lori as 'Whatsername' who does end up as Spaz's GF in future games.

My theory on why Lori doesn't look like Jazz or Spaz is that Lori looks more like one of their parents, and Jazz and Spaz look like the other one. As for the diffirent fur, I like to think that Lori is orange, and that one of their parents has, partly, orange fur (red and orange like Spaz or green and orange), and that the other one is either just red or just green ( or just orange, so the other one is actually green and red). COMPLICATED!!!

A movie with the stuff from the first game is the way I see the Jazz movie, and the sequel to that would be a movie with the JJ2 story, but with Lori in it.
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Mar 28, 2020, 05:21 PM
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Maybe instead of a sequle movie how about a cartoon series to go along with it.
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