Ok! Three months ago, December 5th, the last post in "Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back? - by various people" was made. This topic was the first War Stories topic made on the JCF (ok, actually, it was moved over from the JMMB), and lasted much longer (I'm pretty sure) then any of the many that inhabited the JMMB (once one seemed dead, a new one would be started.. I desperately want a JMMB War Tavern archive page..)
Anyway, "Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back? - by various people" lasted for a long time, with lots of plots and characters who didn't even exist (which was rare in the old topics, I seem to recall), but it started dieing some months ago, and then stopped altogether. Most of the old writers were gone, and the plots were too complex at that time to draw in any new writers, it seemed. (For those who do not know, the War Stories topics were big round robin stories with many many plots, usually - but not always - focused on the War Tavern itself, an unmappable building with infinite beer reserves and innumerable dark corners)
But now it's dead. And this is a new topic.


The War Tavern was still. So still, in fact, that it was uninhabited, save for Ducky and Night Fire, behind the bar, swapping memories in low undertones. The last customer had been two days ago, an old rabbit who was trying to find the way to some place neither of them had ever heard of. Neither of them had seen anyone they knew here for quite some time. It was as if the War Tavern, once active and lively (and frequently destroyed) was now and truly dead.
And it might have stayed that way, too, if not for the "Society For Bringing Fame and Recognition to Hitherto Ignored Historical Sites" had not come across the War Tavern, and decided to start (without the knowledge of either of the bartenders) a publicity campaign.

Unknown Rabbit was in a small gardening shed somewhere nearby the mansion of a figure whose name is ignored by history, where he had been allowed to spend the night, reading the newspaper. Tidings of the latest Diamondus-Jungrock war, photos of the first one legged iguanas to set one foot on the third moon from the left of the Planet of the Pig, and some article about how today's youth completely ignored historical sites, such as..
Unknown Rabbit, about to throw the newspaper to the floor and try to get some sleep, stopped and read on. The War Tavern.. memories.... such memories...... existance......... Gen..
Forgetting the comforts of the gardening shed, Unknown strode outside towards where he remembered the War Tavern to be, intent on finding the happiness it had brought him. When he wasn't dead.
Elsewhere on Carrotus and nearby worlds, other individuals were embarking from their homes with similar intentions.....




There! There are no posting restrictions other then that you should follow the plot (please?)...

Among those flocking back to the tavern was Acid. He was also bringing his brother, Electrik, and his two cousins, Foo and Phish.

"YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! FOO ISH COMINGISH!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!!! When are we leavingish?"
"Foo, if you keep your mouth open that long a wet rag will find it's way in there. We're leaving soon, with Phish's racer. BE PATIENT!" Acid said, but his point was obviously unclear to Foo, as he burst out into another bout of YAYAYAYs.
"Phish, when ARE we leaving?" asked Electrik.
"Just a moment, I've just got to calibrate the fusion engine and route the exaust, plus from the rock collision the thrust isn't going out right. Just a few minutes, I'd OOPS!"
There was a groan from Acid and Electrik, and a NERRRRRRRRRR! from Foo.
"Uh oh, is the fusion engine supposed to be glowing bright blue? Why did the exaust pipe just fly out?" Phish asked anyone who had the knowledge, specifically, nobody.
"I'll go out, and find some help," suggested Acid. He walked out the door.

I would ask that somebody continues from here. Whoever wants to can be asked for help by Acid!

Jack Flash sat comfortably in a chair in a dark corner of the Tavern, accompanied by his good friend Capt. Firefox. They were on permissible leave from R.O.A.R.'s operations, and had immediately decided to spend their short period of restitution at the Tavern, for two reasons: to listen to some good war stories, and to get drunk out of their skulls. Unfortunately, neither of them took very well to the taste of alcohol, and since it's very difficult to get inebriated on shots of carrot fizz, they chose to abandon their second goal. They chuckled at Foo's antics as he... well, made a foo of himself. Ducky and Night Fire, per usual, remained behind the bar, serving up drinks, apparently somewhat surprised at the sudden influx of customers to the Tavern.

Jack rolled his eyes. Nothing very interesting had happened in the Tavern for too long, and his and Firefox's visit proved to be no exception. However, the monotony of the Tavern's limited activity was cut short as Phish's racer's engine exploded, sending the racer end-over-ending through the air. Firefox, startled by the sudden noise, whipped his head around, just in time to watch the racer smash back down onto the ground. He sighed, shaking his head, and grinning.

Jack didn't even have to turn around. "Let me guess. Acid?"
"Yep."
"Thought so."

Edit: I hate school keyboards.

Spaztic sat down upon his couch, he was exhausted. It had been a long day, for hours he had toiled in the Longspy Woods in search of some food - any food. After losing his job as local slacker to some guy named "Quist", he was out of pity donations. Forced to find food in the wild until he got up the energy to go into town and find a job, and with absolutely no hunting skills whatsoever, he was in a tough spot.

In a pointless attempt to ease his dilemma, he grabbed the remote and turned on the TV. He flipped through some channels, but nothing seemed to grab his attention. Until he stumbled upon a commercial that, for some reason, caught him with a strange enthrallment.

"The War Tavern", said the announcer as the television displayed a rather homely, yet strangely familiar, building. "It is a historical heritage to Carrotus, a building holding tales and memories of love, war, sadness, and most importantly, beer." Spaztic scratched his furry chin. The War Tavern? He had heard the locals talking about it before...he remembered in the past he had always wondered what lied beyond its doors. He sat in thought as the TV announcer droned on and the commerical came to an end.

Suddenly, and much out of his nature, he jumped up. And thought, "Why not? What have I got to lose...besides, perhaps I can find a job, or at least meet some friends..." He gathered anything he thought useful, and the last of his money, and nearly ran out the door. The Tavern was less than half a mile away, he wondered why he had never visited it. Oh wait, that's right, he was the local slacker. A few people standing outside on the street nearly fell over at the site of Spaztic outside. His fur was completely black, as he almost never went outside. The sun's light was terrible on his eyes, but he figured that is something he should force himself to grow accustomed to.

As he walked he heard a terrific *boom*...what could that be? It seemed to come in the direction of the Tavern...perhaps more was going on than he expected...

lol, another one? Good job. Last one was a hit.

*BOOM*
"Oops."
Copper watched as Phish, now very much scorched and battered, walked back in. Another rabbit who she'd never seen before walked in after him, looking curious. It wasn't a surprise that she didn't recognize him; she wasn't here that often.
Acid came back in, just in time to catch the drink, that Foo had accidentally thrown, with his face. Foo was still spinning in circles, and Copper ducked as another cup went flying. She decided to move. Sitting here might be dangerous.
The new rabbit avoided Foo like the plague. She didn't blame him. Who could?
Phish was still looking a bit dazed, but was recovering rapidly. Copper snickered as he tried to keep Foo under control.

My little contribution.

"FOO!!!!!" Acid sreamed at the top of his lungs. Foo spun around to face Acid, knocking twenty glasses off the counter in the process. Cheers rang out from the rest of the tavern, and somebody in the crowd held up a piece of paper with the number 10 on it. Foo grinned and bowed, while balancing another glass on his head.
"Yesh, Ashid?"
"You've got to stop doing this! At this rate, the War Tavern will be destroyed again within 3 hours!"
"NO!"
"We want Foo! We want Foo! We want Foo! We want Foo!" chanted the 'Taverners.
"Here, try another 'through the hoop!" said Firefox, handing his now empty shot glass to Foo.
Foo obliged and did a jump shot, and the glass landed neatly in a barrel of Muckamok ale.
Acid decided he would have no luck calming down Foo with all the other Taverners winding him up. He heard another shatter as Foo started bowling with the beer mugs.
Phish, meanwhile, was trying to find something to do. Alcohol did not appeal to him, and he was bored with Foo's antics. He walked over to Acid, and tried to get something out of him.
"Huh? Oh, what was happening before the War Tavern died? Well, as far as I can remember, they were going to hold a tournament. I had in fact entered it-"
"THAT'S IT!"
*crash!*
Everybody turned towards Phish at his outburst, just in time to miss Foo make a strike with the beer mugs.
"I know! In honor of reopening the War Tavern, we could hold another tournament!'
everybody looked at him for a second, then cheers rang out from the crowd.
"Yes! Let's hold a tournament! Same rules as last time-"
"No. Not the same rules. I think we should be original, and the superweapons were a bad idea."
everybody started discussing what the new tournament should be like...

Jack was first to come up with a suggestion. "High-speed stuff! Things need to move quickly! Speed makes things more entertaining!"
Some of the crowd turned to look at him. Jack faltered slightly under their stare, as he had a mild fear of crowds. Luckily, Firefox took over for him. "Exactly! Rabbits are built for speed, aren't we? So, let's put our natural abilities to good use, eh?"
Jack brightened up again, in the light of Firefox's courage to speak. "Does anyone know Captain Falcon?"
There was a mass nodding of heads. Everyone had heard of Captain Falcon; he was all but infamous for his daredevil F-Zero racing at near supersonic velocities. Almost 90% of the Carrotan populace worshipped the Captain.
Jack rolled his eyes. "Personally?"
The positive reaction immediately stopped. Some of the rabbits scratched their heads, turned to others, or just stared at the floor.
Then a lone voice came from the back of the throng.
"I do."

Just then, a Orange animal of some sort fell in through the roof, landing squarely on top of Foo. It jumped up, looked around and asked, "How did I... Where did you... What the...?" Copper leaned back and thought to herself "Looks like someone found a portal." Ducky called from over the bar "Welcome to the war tavern, Mr....?" "N0, Call me N0." "Well, N0, have a free drink on the house, and feel free to tell us how ya got here. It's easyer for us to get you home that way." N0 sat down with a rootbeer float and started telling his story. "It all started when I was born, but that is too big of a story. On Mechiaus, the planet I am from, there has been a war going on between the Mechs and the Orgas for hundreds of years. I live on the inner edge of the Orga Jungle, so when Ry came flying in to alert Jag that the Mechs were invading, I quickly finished my lunch and flew deep into the Jungle to meet them head on. The Mechs had gotten further than I had expected, and one of them shot me down. They must have wanted captives, because it wasn't deadly. By the time the stun had worn off, there where three mechs closing in around me. My wings had not yet become mobil, so my only option was to fight. I laid still on the ground, as if I was still stunned. One of the Mechs was close enough to kick now, so I did. I don't think he was expecting my nucular powered kick, and I doubt he will ever wake up. It took a second for the other two Mechs to compute exactly what happend to their comrade, and a second is long enough for me. Both of them got to taste just how sharp a light-blade can be. I was pumped, but I decided to try to cool down and strech out my wings before I tried to destroy a couple more mechas. So, as I was walking around the clearing, trying to strech out my wings, I triped and fell through a puddle. I didn't fall INTO the puddle, I fell through it, and landed on top of your friend here. Can anyone get me home? Because it doesn't look like the roof will be letting me back through."

*Edit*

Ack, Four Eye Falcon (not fourty-one) posted before I did. Imagine that my post goes between Acid and his.

`N0

The crowd parted. Phish was standing there. "Hey, what did you expect? I gotta know the gaming universe's best racer if I participated if the yearly tournament. We were quite good friends, in fact. So, what kind of race are we going to have? I can do water ski, zero-g, car, spaceship, boat, hovercraft, you name it! However, you can NOT hold a footrace."

Jack sighed. "Allow me to repeat Firefox: let's put our NATURAL abilities to good use."

Phish fell over. Foo dumped a glass of carrot fizz on his head.

"However, that might be a good idea, everyone could have a certain amount of time to construct/acquire a vehicle, then hold a race. But we still have the question: what kind of race?" suggested Firefox.

Phish sat up. "How about a triathalon? They drive a car over an expanse of flat ground, transform it into a boat to travel across some sort of lake, then transform it into some sort of aircraft to fly the last expanse." he grinned evilly. "Weapons could, of course, be attatched to the vehicle."

When Spaztic arrived at the Tavern, a group of hyperactive rabbits were doing some strange nonsense. A particular rabbit, who was named "Foo", it seemed, was acting especially odd. Spaztic did his best to avoid the young chap as he wandered in.

The Tavern seemed like the perfect meeting place. The misty atmosphere and ancient wood structures gave him the feeling this place was full of years of lore, stories, and excitement. Spaztic went to the counter, grabbed a free ale (free ale? this place sounded like heaven), and found a dark corner to sit and observe the others. He wasn't there particularly to socialize...he figured if anyone was so inclined to talk to him, they would talk. For now he would enjoy listening to what usually went on.

It seemed someone wanted to start a competition. Or something. Spaztic didn't feel exactly too thrilled. A race? He knew already that joining would be a vain pursuit...he was, after all, the ex-local slacker. He listened closer...they seemed to be looking for someone. 4I Falcon? Foo? Phish? Who were these people? He had always heard about the more "legendary" War Taverners. He wondered where they were...

Originally posted by Spaztic
He had always heard about the more "legendary" War Taverners. He wondered where they were...

They're all grown up and have jobs. But on a more serious matter, if the tavern isn't blown up at least once somewhere along the course of this thread it isn't a tavern story.

The legendary War Taverners may be gone, but we can certainly post about them as if they're here..


BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was, of course, in the Tavern. He had doubtlessly missed a great number of business deals before arriving when the Tavern was revived last time, and he had no wish to repeat the mistake. Of course, his dramatic official entrance would have to be much more self serving then setting up shop in the basement, and being knived in the back by Devan Shell.
This tournament seemed like a good way to do this. He could establish himself as the leading person when it came to event arranging and selling cheap trinkets with claims about their worth, and make some money on sign up fees and merchandising at the same time.
And so it was that BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ erected a quick stall next to the bar, with a sign reading "Sign up for the big Trialathon - only one thousand Carrotian Credits! Great prizes available for all who end up deserving them."

This, of course, cemented the idea of having the race be a Trialathon rather handily. BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ had taken out a patent on selling relatively worthless items and organizing events some time ago, so GenEX would stop infringing on his business. It doubled as preventing anyone else from trying to hold other tournaments without giving him a very large percentage of the profits, of course.

"Just ...keep the more physical events outside, okay guys?"

Ducky waved at a newcomer and went over to turn the jukebox back to Green Day's Minority for the third time.

Originally posted by Spaztic
He listened closer...they seemed to be looking for someone. 4I Falcon? Foo? Phish? Who were these people?

Last I checked, 4I Falcon doesn't exist in the JJ2 universe.

Jack Flash does.

Last I checked, I was new around here ;p

Sorry, Captain Falcon or Jack Flash or whoever you are =P

Then, Blackraptor was walking down the street, passing the war tavern as if it wasnt there. Until he heard all the cheering.
"Hmmmm....what can possibly be going on in there," he thought,"Maybe I should check it out!"
So as Blackraptor entered the building, he heard the crowd cheering Triathalon.
It has been a while since Blackraptor got his lazy butt of the computer chair, and he needed some exercise. He thought about signing up. "What have I got to loose, raptors are very quick!"
Blackraptor's mind was made up, he was definately entering.

Originally posted by Spaztic
Last I checked, I was new around here ;p

Sorry, Captain Falcon or Jack Flash or whoever you are =P

Well, at least you didn't call me 41 Falcon.

*brandishes sledgehammer*

lol, won't make THAT mistake again.

Copper ignored them. The only vehicle she was interested in was her ship Assassin, renamed the Phantom Eclipse. She DEFINITELY was not going to make a fool out of herself, unlike Acid's cousin Foo there. Of course, Foo couldn't help it. She could.
That new rabbit looked a bit lost. She decided to take her mind off of this race thing by introducing him to the Taverners. Maybe he would get caught up in it, too. Then she would leave, her job done.
She got up and walked over.
"Hi. Welcome to the Tavern ... I guess you're new here, huh?"

What new rabbit? Last I checked, Spaztic was a squirrel and Blackraptor was a raptor, and N0' was not a rabbit.

Whoops, sorry. Typo.

Just as Copper finished her question, a loud yell could be heard outside of the tavern. This was quickly followed by a deafening boom as a lone rabbit crashed through the wooden roof of the tavern and went head-first right through the jukebox. Sparks of electricity flew through the air as the rabbit finally plunged onto the floor opposite of where he first entered, nearly knocking himself out in the process.

"Oh, geez! Defalcon, did you have to open your big mouth about the tavern blowing up?!" Ducky exclaimed. "Because of you, it now has TWO gaping holes in the roof! On top of that, the jukebox is... or should I say was... a collector's item!"

"Sorry...."

Just then, the unexpected visitor emitted a low groan of pain. "Ugh. D... Did anyone... get the l-license p-pl-plate number... of that... Schwartzenguard t-that ran... over m-m-me?"

With that, the stranger promptly collapsed.

"Whoever he is, he's delirious. That must have really hurt," Acid stated.

"Well, duh! Of course it had to hurt!" Ducky retorted. "That isn't exactly what I call a gentle landing!"

"Maybe we should help him get up and into a chair," Copper suggested. "At least he'll be off the ground that way."

"Good idea," 4I Falcon replied.

As Copper and 4I proceeded to pick the visitor up, Ducky cleared a spot at a nearby table. As the trio proceeded to set him down, the necklace that he had been wearing broke, causing something to fall to the ground with a thud. Ducky reached down to pick it up, only to find the object to be quite familiar.

It was a medallion... a sapphire-blue medallion, with a relief of a Jaguar etched into it. Ducky reached down and picked it up, still not believing what it was.

"Ducky? Is something wrong?" Copper questioned.

Ducky continued looking at the object. "This medallion..." she began, "only one person I know of has a medallion like this."

"Who?"

"Elias, is that really you?!"

When Ducky didn't receive an answer, she gently began to shake him, trying to coax him out of his unconsciousness. "C'mon, Elias! I know you can hear me!"

There was still no response. Ducky, now getting upset, began yelling. "Elias! If this is supposed to be a joke, it's not funny! Now, wake up already!"

"Yo, Ducky! Go easy on him! He just crashed through a roof and a jukebox! How is anyone supposed to wake up so fast after fainting from that?" 4I questioned.

"Puh. He's always making dramatic entrances like this! This time, however, he's gone too far! Excuse me a minute...."

Ducky went back to the storage room behind the Tavern, only to come back moments later with an Admin Rod. "Let's see you stay unconscious from THIS! "

With that, the aforementioned administrator gave a solid smack to Elias's head with her Rod. Needless to say, it did the trick.

"EEEEEEE-YOWCH!!!" Elias shouted, nearly hitting the ceiling of the Tavern... again... before falling back into his chair.

"Well, well, well! It's about time you woke up!"

"Nice to see you too, Ducky. Although next time, warn me before you use that, all right?!"

"Whatever you say, Elias," Ducky replied.

"...And I'll be happy to take my medallion back, thank you!"

"It's not my color, anyway!" the admin stated, handing the medallion back. "Now, do you want something to drink?"

"Just some Carrot Juice. Maybe it can get rid of this massive headache you gave me!" Elias stated, rubbing his head.

"One Carrot Juice, coming right up!"

"She hasn't changed a bit. "

-------

Elias FF-- A daredevil he is not!

See my second most recent post in this thread.

Since you're apparently famous, I won't whack you with the Sledgehammer of Discrete Geometry. This time.

"Ooyay! Audienshe!"
Foo took Elias's entrance as a signal to continue his performance. He started juggling beer mugs.

Elias looked over at Foo. "Who the heck is that guy?!?"
Ducky sighed. "Foo."
"What's wrong?"
"No, Foo is his name!"
"Oh. I can see why. Heh."



BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ, meanwhile, started writing a 2-hour long list of vehicles and weapons that were banned. He knew the importance of pointlessly going into very precise detail. (i.e. things like saying that missile launchers and rocket launchers and bazookas and swarmers are all banned, instead of just saying missile weapons were banned)

The 'Taverners decided they would help with making the tournament too, this time.
"Nah, not something from far away that you didn't have before this time, the Tavern died before anyone got anything!"
"We should have that! The Tavern's not going to die this soon!"
"That idea was stupid anyways."
"Say that you can't build it!"
"WHAT? NO!!!"
"Yes! If we don't, Acid automatically gets a huge advantage!"
"No, I've got a better idea. Acid isn't in the tournament, but he builds the vehicles!"
"HECK NO!!!"



Copper sighed. This was one of the reasons she didn't want to be in the triathalon. However, there didn't seem like there was much to do otherwise...

"I'll give a free Braggarian Goo to anyone who doesn't join the triathalon. Celebratory of Elias's return, of course."

Ducky bounced with glee, glad she wasn't the only oldie anymore.

Blaze, who had been inside for the last twenty minutes, and had not yet been noticed, sidled up to Ducky, on the opposite side of the bar. "Just so ya know, I'm not entering, so at least you'll have some company back here when all these idiots go racing around the planet, or whatever they're doing. I'm not much for speed; it's not very professional for a spy to go racing around somewhere. One just ends up looking strange."
Ducky looked at the obsidian rabbit inquisitively. "Oh? If you don't run, then how did you get those legs of yours?"
"Thank you for noticing, but they're not from running. I work out when I have nothing else to do."
Ducky nodded, knowingly. "Ah. So, can I get you a Braggarian Goo, or what?"
"No thanks, ma'am. The stuff sticks in my throat; I'm not partial to anything more viscous than water. I'll just have one of those ales that you have."
Blaze had hardly finished his sentence as a mug slid down the bar at him. Ducky smiled. "Enjoy."

Jack, befuddled by the sudden commotion, elbowed Firefox in the ribs. "NATURAL abilites? I was hoping for some high-speed vehicles, you moron! Bikes and ships and stuff! Not another footrace! I'm sick of them!"
"Huh? You were the one who said it in the first place!" Firefox shot back, indignantly. "And you're just sick of footraces because I beat you in every one!"
"Oh really?" Jack retorted, cocking an eyebrow. "If I recall correctly, you were begging me for a 2 out of 3 last time we competed! And I beat you again!"
"What are you talking about? I'm faster than you, and I always have been!"
"Yeah, right! That's completely not true, and you know it!"
"Is that so?"
"Very so!"
"Well then, let's see you try to beat me right here, right now!"
Jack was taken aback slightly. "Now? Like, right this second?"
"No, now as in this time two years from today. Of course, now as in now!"
Jack put on his poker face again. "Okay then, mister too-big-for-his-pants, we'll see who's faster! We'll start from this floorboard, right here! Out the door, and straight forward, full speed! First one to Carrotus Castle wins!"
Firefox was about to agree on these terms, but then realized something. Pointing away to his right, he said, "You idiot! Carrotus City is that way!"
Jack shrugged. "Okay, fine. First one to... uh..."
"Ouistreham..." Firefox suggested.
"Yeah, sure... Ouistreham... wins. All or nothing."
"Sounds good."
They both crouched down at the floorboard in question, ready to take off. Intending to catch his opponent by surprise, Jack waited for a few seconds, then suddenly exclaimed, "READYSETGO!"
However, Firefox's reaction time was not as slow as he had expected, as they both took off from the mark at the exact same time. Firefox had what could only be described as a triumphant grin on his face as he ran pace for pace with Jack.
Unfortunately for both of them, BeAuMaN was pointing at something on the opposite wall, and had his arm outstretched. Both Jack and Firefox ran headlong into his arm, being inadvertently clotheslined in the process. Both rabbit racers flipped backwards, with a loud "YAWOOP!" heard from Jack, and slammed the backs of their heads into the hard polished floorboards.
They were both out cold. Ducky and Night Fire both leaned over the bar to see what had just happened, and a crowd began to form around the two unconscious rabbits. Scratching his head and clearing his throat, looking down on the pair of hapless hares, Acid stated simply, "Well... that was... uh, interesting..."
Blaze couldn't help chuckling at the mindless antics of his two partners as he took another swig of his ale.

Foo looked at Jack and Firefox for a second, then walked up to Ducky. "One Muckamok ale, pleash!" Ducky handed him his drink, and Foo handed Ducky 2000 carrotian credits.
"...Would you like change?" Ducky asked, surprised.
"FOO! A muckamok ale is 20 carrotian credits! NOT 2000!"
"Okie!" Foo pulled out 20 carrotian credits and handed them to Ducky.
"NOT 2020! JUST 20! Take the 2000 back!"
"Okie!" Foo smiled sheepishly and grabbed the credits, and handed them to Acid. Then he picked up the ale and dumped it over Jack and Firefox. This woke them up, and very quick at that.
"Hey, guysh! It'sh already been deshided! No footrace! Vehiclesh that go vwoom vwoom! AND WEAPONSH!!!" With that said, Foo took off around the room at top speed.
Acid leaned over to Electrik. "Bet you 1000 credits neither of them could beat Foo."
"Hey, I don't need to bet; I know!" Electrik replied with a grin.

"Why didn't they duck?"
"I have no idea."

Elias looked over at the group, wonder just what he had interrupted this time. "OK, what's going on here?"

"They want to hold some sort of competition. A triathalon, if I remember correctly," Ducky replied. "I honestly don't see the point of it, though."

"You aren't the only one. Besides, from what I'm picking up, this isn't even close to a triathalon! Whoever heard of motorized vehicles in such an event? Or missile weapons, for that matter?"

"I know I haven't, but you know how crazy rabbits can get, right?"

"Yeah."

"By the way," Ducky began, "just what caused you to come in through the roof of the tavern?"

"A slight error on my part. In case you forgot, I happened to learn how to shoot fireballs from my palms while in my jaguar form about a year and a half ago."

"That I remember."

"Well, I was training to make it more powerful, as usual, when I got attacked. When I sent my fireball at my foe, not only did the creep absorb it, but he sent it back at me at twice the original power!"

"I'm afraid I don't quite follow you."

"What I'm saying is that there are beings that can absorb elemental attacks and hurl them right back at the original user! It was my bad luck that I happened to run into one that could absorb fire. Needless to say, when I tried to shield myself from it with one of my own fireballs, the resulting collision caused a massive explosion... which is why I'm here now. You might want to warn anyone who's got an elemental weapon or power to be careful. You never know when they might attack!"

Ducky just stared at Elias for a few moments. "If that's the case, how come we didn't hear it?"

"Well, gee... probably because it happened thirty miles away from here!" Elias replied, drinking the rest of his juice.

"Thirty miles, eh? I find that hard to believe. Unless, of course, that power of yours is around ten times stonger than it originally was."

"Don't make me test it on you...."

"Whatever you say, Elias."

The duo turned back toward the crowd, who was now busy with...

-------

Elias FF-- Master of suspense! (Yeah, right!)

Spaztic looked around from his dark corner in the Tavern, sipping his ale in amusement. He took out a wooden pipe and before lighting up wondered to himself if it was okay in the Tavern to smoke. And just that moment there was a tremendous crash...someone fe;ll through the roof. Again. But no one seemed all too shocked. Spaztic laughed as he figured lighting up wouldn't be too much of a big deal if people were crashing through the roof and things were blowing up all the time.

This place never ceased to be full of suprises. Spaztic noticed a female rabbit walking in his direction just as the rabbit crashed through the roof, but that crash diverted the rabbit's attention to the (most probably) injured rabbit. A couple other rabbits joined her in taking care of the crasher.

Soon thereafter the talks about a triatholon began to grow. Spaztic had absolutely no interest in participation, and contented himself once again to sit in his little lair watching. Then he noticed another female rabbit saying she would give a free drink to anyone not participation. Spaztic hopped up, figuring he might as well try to meet someone at his first visit. He took in a lot of smoke, and walked over to the pub. When he arrived, the girl, who he later learned was named Ducky, was chatting with the rabbit who all too recently fell through the roof. His name was Elias. He was going on about some sort of special energy powers. Spaztic shrugged and sat at his seat sipping his drink as all hell seemed to break loose in the background from the 'triatholon'

The bartender came by him "New here, eh?"

Spaztic nodded and tried to smile. "Yeah, looking for a little excitement, I guess."

"Well you've come to the right place. Say, we don't get many squirrels around here. Especially of your color. What's your story?"

Spaztic laughed. "My story? I am lazy, I almost never went outside, and now I realize I need a little something more than just free sympathy and a TV. So I'm here looking for some excitement...maybe some friends, or a job."

The bartender sighed. "Sometimes a common tale. I'll tell you what though, there's a room back there. It's a bit new, you see, it's called the Interactive Room officially, but us staff call it The Pod. It's a little room with some equipment that let you experience an adventure...an adventure that you must create yourself. I'll let you try it out, but you'll need someone else to go with you. Makes it more fun. Maybe you'll meet a friend."

Spaztic rubbed his chin and took a hit from his pipe. Who would go with him into this adventure? He knew no one, he thought. And with nothing to lose, he figured the best way to get people's attention was to do something random. So he jumped onto the table and threw a bunch of beer mugs against a wall causing them to explode into shards and making a wonderful clatter. Suddenly (most) eyes were on him...with a sudden lost for words from doing something completely out of his nature, Spaztic said simply, "Any takers?" And to his suprise, someone piped in...

"Foo wantsh to go wif Shpazzytic!!!"
Spaztic blinked. "Which one of you is Foo?"
"MEH!!! FOO ISH MEH!!!"
Spaztic blinked again, then told Foo to come with him to the pod. They started to walk down the stairs, then foo had a question.
"How long will tis take?"
Ducky answered for him.
"It depends, really, you can take anywhere from 1 minute to 2 years!"
"FOO WANNA DO TRIATHALON!!!"
"Well, since you make your own adventure, you can try to make one that won't take too long..."

Acid watched as the strange squirrel who apparently was known as Spaztic, and his cousin, Foo descended the staircase to 'the pod'. He wondered what would be down there, and worried a litte for Foo. Telling himself nothing could go wrong, he shook off his worries and continued with the friendly banter in the Tavern.

Just outside, a dark figure was watching. He didn't know what was going on. That rundown old place was like a light bulb now. He wondered why. He was hearing something about a triathalon from inside. Bah! What good was this crummy old shack anyways. He decided he would return tomarrow, to see what all this commotion was all about. With a sweep of his cloak, he was gone.

Evil.

Copper went back to ignoring the hyperactive Taverners. It wasn't that hard, all told. She diverted her attention to outside.
There was a flash of movement that she barely saw. Then all was still. She shrugged.
Must have been a trick of the light ...
Then the power went out.

Short parts can be good. Right?

"Hey! What in the name of...? Watch where you put that elbow! Ow! Hey, what...?! GET OFF MY FEET!" A clamour of voices rang out through the Tavern as the various occupants banged into each other, and everything else. About the only two protected were Ducky and Night Fire, still behind the bar.
Then, in the middle of the room, one rabbit came into view. It was only him, though, as if a spotlight was shining on him. Electrik's fur had turned a bright, almost fluorescent blue, and he was actually producing light as he charged his fur. This effect only lasted for a few seconds, though, as he apparently burnt himself out; but this was all that was needed for the two barkeeps to assess the problem.
Soon enough, the power returned. Ducky was standing at the fuse box, holding the burnt-out piece of equipment: Acid had hold of Jack's ears, not knowing what they were; Firefox and Elias were both on the floor, after painfully knocking heads with some force; Blaze had narrowly avoided being trampled as he pressed himself against the bar; and both Phish's and Coppertop's normally well-groomed fur was standing straight out after getting a bit too close to Electrik's light display.
Ducky glanced out the window. She was sure something had moved outside, but she couldn't put her finger on what it was...
There it was! It had just glided swiftly past the other window. She wasn't sure what, or who, it was, and she was about to go out and identify it herself before Night Fire vaulted over the bar, brushed past the now disentangled Acid and Jack, and opened the door. All of the occupants looked outside, expectant to see who this dark figure was.
For as far as the eye could see, there was nothing out of the ordinary. Green grass, the occasional carrot sticking out of the ground, and blue, partly cloudy skies above. Nothing atypical about anything.
Night Fire slowly closed the door. Inwardly, he had been hoping for something surprising and shocking, to have something completely unexpected happen as he opened the door.
A few seconds later, he got his wish.

however, he did not like the way his wish was granted. As he was turning around to go back to the bar, the door flew open and smashed him against the wall. Everybody looked out the door. Nothing was there.

Meanwhile..
Spaztic looked at Foo uncertainly. "Ok.. you sit over there."
"OKAYA!" cried Foo, and bounded into the seat Spaztic had not indicated.
"No, not that on-!" Spaztic cried, but it was too late. The 'pod' was taking Foo's brain waves and creating a world of adventure out of them.. one that was decidedly insane and unsafe. Spaztic hurriedly sat down into the other chair, so there would be someone to keep an eye on Foo.
There was a "woooosh", a "splriin", a "gwavorp", a "spli-shuuu", and the 'pod' vanished.

Just as the Pod vanished Spaztic found himself standing in the middle of what looked to be a vast rain forest. Looking around he realized Foo was running around trying to climb trees and yelling wildly.

"Wow, this is extremely realistic", Spaztic commented to himself as the sun began to make his skin sweat and his fur clumped. Squirrels weren't designed for rain forests, after all.

"And what exactly are you trying to accomplish?" Spaztic asked Foo, still trying to climb the trees.

"FOO WANT FOOD!" he screamed wildly. Spaztic nodded, realizing this was certainly going to be an interesting adventure.

"Do you always speak in third person?" asked Spaztic sarcastically as he jumped onto the tree and climbed up easily, knocking down some food for the crazy rabbit. Immediantly Foo jumped down, slamming into the ground, rolling around, and then leaping back up and grabbed the food and began eating wildly.

Just then Spaztic looked out into the distance and noticed something that shocked him. He nearly fell off of the branch he was on...it may have been a rain forest, but it seemed it was definetly not foreign to technology. He stood up on the branch and prepared himself for the danger coming ahead...

Copper scowled at Electrik. Things like that irritated her, and having her fur stand on end was one of them. Uncomfortableness, to say the least.
Night Fire was peeling himself off the wall and he shut the door again, making a dash for the counter. The door thumped open again. Copper scowled at the door, too. It was letting in a draft.
"Is that thing spring-loaded or something?"
Unfortunately, that was not the problem. It was much, much worse than that ...

I won't bother with your thing, Spaztic. No idea what you want to happen

Originally posted by Coppertop
I won't bother with your thing, Spaztic. No idea what you want to happen

Nah, I don't really mind what happens next. If you wanna take a stab at it go ahead

meanwhile in the pod...

"Foo, why the heck did you make this adventure?"
"Foo Wantsh short adventure!"
Foo jumped up and down in anticipation of the large mech.
"It doesn't have to be THIS short!"
"FOO WANTSH SHORT ADVENTURE!!!"
"Okay, but next time I get to make it."
The approaching mech knocked over a tree. A lot of trees fell in its path, a little like dominoes. Smaller trees were just getting smashed.
"FOO LIKEY ADVENTURE!"
The mech fired a flamethrower. The top of the rainforest caught on fire.
"What kind of items did you give us?"
"Oh, tat. Here!"
Foo pulled a gun that was bigger than he was. It had a smiley face on the side. He gave an identical one to spaztic, except it had a peace symbol on its side.
Foo pulled the trigger and a large smiley face beam shot out of the cannon, striking the mech in the middle. It teetered for a second, during which Spaztic shot it with his gun. The mech exploded, and the War Tavern basement came back into view. Foo jumped up out of his seat, offering it to Spaztic.

Spaztic took a seat, and put it in his pocket for later... *is shot*

Toxic Bunny settled into his cosiest beanbag and opened his newspaper. It had been a busy day. Running a one-man TV station wasn't easy. His eyes drifted lazily over the news of the Diamondus-Jungrock war. Another thing too far away for him to report on. His news programme needed something, but it seemed that nothing interesting ever happened in Tholian, his home town. He got up to make himself a cup of hot chocolate. On the way, he switched on the television. The Tholian Regional Television symbol appeared. Though he was proud if his handiwork, He changed the channel to CBC News.
"..and most importantly, beer."
Typical. They'd been showing that story for ages. He opened the fridge and took out the milk, only to discover that there was none left.
"Drat!" he exclaimed.
"Welcome back. In our top story tonight..."
Toxic hurried back to the TV. he mustn't miss the top story...
Wait... Welcome back? So that thing about the War Tavern was a commercial? The war tavern was only a few kilometres away. It would make an excellent report.
A few minutes later, the house was silent, except for the humming of the broadcasting equipment. Toxic was on his bike, pedalling like mad for the War Tavern.