My dad's GIS program is too hard to figure out. I'm just going to PAINT

You go down the south hallway. There is a small table in the middle of this room. On top, there's a dial, currently pointing west. Exits are north, south, east, and west. The lights on the wire going down the west hallway are lit. An ominous red glow and crackling noise is coming from the south exit.

Go : North
Pull : Lever
Get : Page
Use : Page : thirdeighteen

You return north and pull the lever. The lights in the south hallway shut down, and those in the north passage flicker on. A clanking noise comes from the north exit. Exits are north, south, and west.

The Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitylazerlighty superflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfourseatsestr udelire is now the Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire.

Go : East
Go : North
if lights = on
{
then Strato.releived = True
}
else
{
Strato.Angry = True
}
Go : South
Go : West
Go : North

Both of those will land you in walls.

"What would my old master do in a situation like this...?"

You consider what Uberbob would do, shrug, walk east, and crash into the wall.

Kick wall.
North.

kljdgksl

I pulled a UR and got my Easts and Wests confused.
Go : West
Go : North
Check Lights
Go : South
Go : East
Go : North

It was a typo. It is much less possible to spell "West" as "East", however.

Ur wins.

You kick the wall angrily and walk north. The hallway reaches a sudden end - there is a great black void in front of you. All you can see is the celing; The walls and floor are too far away to make out. A large stone monolith is hanging from chains. A few gears on the ceiling spin, but one of them was clearly removed or damaged, because the machine does not seem to work. You can make out a variety of tracks and contraptions on the ceiling, but they are out of your reach. You aren't sure what this was used for, but it is broken now.

Ahahaha now I feel guilty.

Originally Posted by Unknown Rabbit

Ahahaha now I feel guilty.

Good job.

Go : West
Go : North
Check Lights
Go : South
Go : East
Go : North

Game saved. You jump into the void and die. Game loaded.

GO : SOUTH
Go : West
Go : North
Check Lights
Go : South
Go : East
Go : North

kjdhkjwethkjewT4OIU5897UIUHJEWTHKJSABNDFJKBDGMBKJW EAhkj sums up my mind at the moment.

You return to the room with your dead party. The lights are out and it is pitch black. You go back to the void.

Where is the monolith relative to you?

Straight north, about thirty feet out.

Move south a bit.
Use cool NINJA skills to jump onto the monolith.
Cling.

...I'm throughly lost on where we are.

Control: Xion
Summon: Strato
Slap: Strato
Say: Map.

You back up, run forward, and jump out towards the monolith. Unfortunately, it seems that you can not jump that far. You fall to a messy death. Game loaded.

Climb down the wall.

The wall has no footholds.

Make some.

You peer over the edge of the cliff and start stabbing it with your katana. After a while, you've created a hole about the size of a quarter.

Use NINJA brain to decide this is a useless attempt.
Want map.

You use your NINJA BRAIN to decide this attempt is useless. You want a map.

Originally Posted by Radium

Even the Thirdnotestrudel is not strong enough to open the lock. None the less, you try to get a glimpse of pandora's diary through the crystal. You can see writing, and lots of ASCII characters, but can't make them out. In your insanity you give a Noberry to Snufuss L33tz4n and watch as (s)he shrinks down to the size of a pineapple.

"Who is Pandora? you ask Araches.

She thinks for a moment. "Pandora was a (rather hot) girl who enjoyed making annoying puzzles. After her death from not remembering the puzzle combination to the enchanted chains he some reason installed in her swimming pool, mages discovered a great puzzle left on her island. Practically every one of her belongings were part of it."

Wasn't it that pillar one?

I...think that was not antifoo isle, but the major puzzle was probably the complete island. I dunno.

map of the current dungeon Vio? It's only 5 rooms
Go : The second lever
Pull : Lever
Go : South
Analyze : Table

No "Go: (object)" commands. I'll let it go this time, since it's just one south.

You go south and pull the lever. The lights to your north shut down and the clicking noise stops. The south path illuminates, and you walk down it. You examine the table. It is little more than a metal box with a dial on top. The dial is facing west. Exits are north, south, east, and west. The lights hanging from the west path are lit.

Go : West

I did the Go : (object) because I was completly lost as to where we were.

Cartographer Stratten lost?

We're all lost.

Radium, we need a map from you. When the cartographer is lost, we need help.

sheesh! It's 5 freakin rooms! I was only lost because we wanted to go to the pillar. Map being scanned as we speak.

http://www.geocities.com/bstratn/mapforlosers.bmp

Amazing map, Cartographer Stratten.

Splendidly mad skills, Stratten.

You walk down the west corridor. After a short walk, you reach the end of the hall. A locked door is on the south wall. A sign on it reads "Repairman Only". The hum of machinery comes from behind it.

Cut the door open with your NINJA sword.