"What do you do with Trafton when he's grumpy?"

"Well, he only gets grumpy with people he doesn't like. Or being bothered reasonlessly. If you wish to see him, just tell him I sent you. And take this," the monk tells you. Obtained Book of Gerbil!

Invintory:
-Wings
-Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruityflyingfully clotheductscraptlegalfourseatsestrudelire
-Chaos Grape (in throat)
-Dollar
-Pandora's Car Key
-Seer Orb
-Chaos Coil
-Fawfaw's Special Recipe Nocake (Item Lock)
-Wafflepieces
-KeyInACloak
-Druid Robe
-Sea Lemon
-Lacrosse Stick of Doom
-Pearldiver's Knife
-Bookmark of Eternity
-Dirt
-Book of Gerbil


Pageclaim.

Thank monk.

"What can you tell me about Blackraptor?"

"Ahh, the mysterious Blackraptor," the monk says, "not much is known of him at all. Rumor has it that he lives within the caves of the frozen island to the northeast."

What species are the monks?


"How far is this frozen island?"

Control: Fawriel.
Check Trading Post's stock.

"I do not know much of the island," the monk begins, "all I know is that it is one of four, not including upper and lower Placespot. Trafton would know more."

All the monks are Romulans.

Items for Trade:
-Chaos Lightbulb
-Rope
-Lord of the Rings DVD
-Broken Lazer Light
-Pandora's Shoe
-Pandora's Can
-Twenty-Four Leaf Clover
-Bandana
-Basketball
-Pink Gumballs (10)

Control: Uberbob.
Thank Monk again.
Give Monk Dirt.
Go to Trafton's Cave.
Knock on Trafton's Door.


Control: Shuriken.
Trade Foo for Chaos Lightbulb.
Go to water.
Do not choke on Chaos Lightbulb.
Go to Lower Placespot.

Why not use the basketball as like some kind of scuba gear?

You thank the monk and give him the dirt. Returning to Trafton's Cave, you knock on the door. "Who goes there?" Trafton's voice asks.

The Gremlins refuse to accept Foo, claiming he's not worth a Chaos Item. Anyway, the lightbulb is too large to choke on.

"It's me."

"Your undescriptiveness causes my eyes to become pointy and my mouth to droop in a downward direction," his voice answers.

^ ^
V


"Who I am is irrelevant."

"For or against the gerbil?" he asks.

Gran Da Val Island, know anything about it? (answer to that question: Different Galaxy, sorry.)

SAVE NOW

We got some gerbils...tasty microwavable gerbils...

You have been microwaved by Trafton =D. Game loaded!

"I've got the Book of Gerbil the Head Monk of the Gerbil gave to me!"

"Oh, he sent you?" Trafton says, "Come on in." Trafton opens the door to his cave. Inside there's a small table and many shelves lined with books written in an unknown language, probably Dutch. "What is it you wish to ask me?" he continues.

Infinite is welcome to start playing again now.

"Where do babies come from?"

"Southeast Germany," he answers truthfully.

"Is that one of the four islands?"

"No," he says. "Now what can I actually help you with?"

"What do you know about Blackraptor's frozen island?"

"Pfft," says Trafton, "do you HAVE to ask about the one thing I don't know? Well, the entire island is like one giant ice crystal. It has a nearly inpassable entrance, and only one. Legend has it that only one person ever broke through it."

"Was this person named Fawriel or Pandora?"

"Eh, no," says Trafton, "a bandit, named Wafflelord. He broke in entirely as a 'told ya so' statement. I believe he lives in NewSuperUltraUberMegatropolis, an island to the southeast, now. Ruled by anarchy, that place is. Far too weak of a police force."

"So what's the northwest island?"

"Hmm," Trafton says as he pauses to think, "a generally screwed up place known as Unfoo Isle. Renamed 'Unfoo Isle' after the fall of Archmage Fooruman, of course. Essentially anyone that goes there is instantly mauled by demons. Not a nice place."

"Can you teach me how to swim?"

"Not considering the fact that you have a pegleg and hook," he replies.

"If I took them off..."

"Then you'd have one leg and one hand )<."

"Could you grow new ones?"

"Well, yes, but it would take a lot of magic skill. You might have better luck seeking a surgeon at NewSuperUltraUberMegatropolis."

Is Spotplace one of these islands?

"No," Trafton explains, "Spotplace is in the middle. Pandora's Island is to the southwest, NewSuperUltraUberMegatropolis to the southeast, the frozen Isle of Darkness to the northeast, and Unfoo Isle to the northwest."

Where should we go next?

"It depends where you're headed."

"I will be headed to the surface presently. Do you know of any good way to get there?"

"Yes, there's a teleporter to Evil Grandma Conquista's right past the Chaos Ward. They did make a bridge over that ravine, didn't they?"

"No, I'm afraid not. That's why I was asking if you could teach me to swim..."