Who is this person and why does he have a signature full of quotes from Terry Pratchett books?

I'm a normal person, and I like the books... Pageclaim.

Araches suggests you kill the door. Besides that, no. Exits are east and south.

Greetings, Kard, and welcome to 3.1. Please leave your soul at the door and your organs at the donation desk.

Action: Kill the door.

Araches kicks the door in. It shatters helplessly.

Well, that was easy!

Go: Inside Building.

You enter the building. Tomes and tomes of ancient books line the walls. L33t4n takes one down and opens it, flipping through the pages. "It's all written in n00b," she says, "I think it's about Sux Magic."

Read: Books.
Learn: Sux Magic (if possible)

None of the books appear to actually teach Sux Magic, they seem to all be about spells.

Action: Take a couple of books and put them in your invintory.

The books are heavy and would kill you slow you down greatly. And, being written for only the Suxiest, the pages are made from iron.

Take: All books.
Ask: Fooruman: About this room and if it and/or any of the books belong to him or Unfooruman.

View: Passages to go.

Books are too heavy to all take.
You ask Fooruman about the room. He thinks for a moment. "Well, It looks like a collection of Sux Magic books. I don't see why Unfooruman would want to keep them all, though, especially in one place... oh, wait, nevermind," he finishes looking at the wire-covered object with a digital clock reading "00:00:59" strategically hidden in the middle of the room.

Examine: Clock

Leave room. Go South.

You look at the clock. The letters are digital and glow red. They appear to be counting down every second. You start to leave the room, except it grew a better door. This one's not as weak looking as the previous.

Kick clock in digital display down long side of room. After making sure it's at one end of the room, walk to the other end.

-ThO

Open the door.
Destroy the red wire.

The door is locked. The room is ten feet wide. All the wires are yellow. I feel evil.

Action: Dismantle clock

Action: Save
Action: Cut random yellow wire

Attack: Door until it breaks. Quickly. =O

Engage battle system with new door

Move: Clock next to door.
Make: Wall between party and clock with books.
Go: Opposite side of room from clock.

I like that plan, but what if we need the knowledge of Sux Magic later on?

CUT ALL THE WIRES.

[QUOTE/]Greetings, Kard, and welcome to 3.1. Please leave your soul at the door and your organs at the donation desk.[/QUOTE]

*comes in door, stabs self with sword, rips out liver, and puts on desk* that good enough? If you ask about my soul, it's already been sold, so you can't have it.

Any cracks in the door?

Ugh... lot of suggestions. Blacky and Lem get this one.

The clock is too tightly bolted to dismantle. You cut a yellow wire. The clock doesn't stop. You attack the door. It is unharmed.

Game saved.

How big is the bomb (I'm assuming it's a bomb)?

Move: As far away from the bomb as possible
Cast: Magic Dart: Bomb. It should explode without anyone getting hurt too badly.

The bomb is about one foot by one foot by one foot. You cower in the corner and have Araches magic dart it. You all die. Game loaded.

Use: CrazyT
With: Random Wire

You use the CrazyT on the Rantom Wire, but it makes no difference. You shrug and put it back in your intentory.

What CrazyT made out of?

You have no idea. Nobody has any idea.

Ask Fooruman to try and read the books, and if he can't, or he refuses, poke him.

Fooruman takes a book and starts to read through it. "There!" he says, pointing to a particular spell called "Freeze Timer".

Read more about "Freeze Timer" spell.

Cast: Freeze timer (save game before using it though incase something goes wrong)

BlackRaptor, I would highly doubt Fooruman would be able to cast Freeze Timer, because he would have already if he would have known how to.