Ask: "Where is a light switch?"

Pageclaim >)

Ask : "Do you know how to get to Unfooruman?"

You can not switch the POV at this time.

"Yes, tell us," you command SmarterChild.
"Tell you what?" he asks. His mechanical face does its best to make a confused expression.
"More about you," L33tz4n responds for you.
"What would you like to know about me?" SmarterChild says.

say: "Map?"

"How you got here."

Examine the robot and poke it a few times.

Ask: "Where is a light switch? It's blacker than black in here."

You look over the robot and poke it in the head a few times. It doesn't seem to notice. "I'd like to know how you got here," you respond to the robot's question.
"I was placed here by Unfooruman, :)" SmarterChild tells you.
"Could we have a map? Or directions to a light switch?"
"Before I can give you directions, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman, I must know where you are going from and to. Please supply me with this information, or say 'places' to get a list of choices," The robot smiles with what might be happiness.

say "places"

what spells does Fooruman have?

"We arrived from some underground below Spinach Custard island, and we're going to Unfooruman's chamber."

"We're trying to go from here to the top of this Fortress."

"Places," you tell Smarter Child. He begins to list every country in the world in alphabetical order. Losing interest, you turn to Fooruman. "What were your spells again?"
Fooruman throws his arms up in the air for no apparent reason and lowers his voice dramatically. "My arcane powers allow me to cast a variety of long-forgotten spells. Among these amazing feats are the ability to damage any wooden surface, magically ward away the element of sulfur or the people of Ireland, disable the use of springs made from the substance known as 'paper', break the very molecular bonds of both rubber and screwdrivers, and even the ability to completely invert the color of any lens," he turns his head to the ceiling and lets out an evil warcry that ends in a coughing fit. Losing interest again, you turn back to Smarter Child, who has already reached "Brazil".

"Can you stop listing countries, please? We need to find a light switch in this room, if any."

"Can you stop listing countries, please?" you request, "we need to find a light switch in this room, if any."
SmarterChild abruptly stops listing countries. "Before I can give you directions, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman," he says, "I must know where you are going from and to. Please supply me with this information, or say 'places' to get a list of choices," again, he smiles happily.
"We. Need. To. Find. A. Light. Switch," L33tz4n tells the robot as clearly as possible.
"You need to find a light switch, huh? Interesting," he replies.
"No; can you tell us where the light switch is?" you ask him.
"Before I can give you directions, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman, I must know where you are going from and to. Please supply me with this information, or say 'places' to get a list of choices."
"Ugh," L33tz4n says, rubbing her forehead, "just talking to this guy is giving me a headache."

Originally Posted by Agent Cooba

"We arrived from some underground below Spinach Custard island, and we're going to Unfooruman's chamber."

"We arrived from some underground below Spinach Custard island," you tell SmarterChild, "and we're going to Unfooruman's chamber."
"I'm sorry," he says "I seem to have trouble understanding what you're saying. Do you have any pets?"
Shuriken sighs with frustration. Fawriel still looks confused, and Fooruman is running in circles or something.

Engage battle with SmarterChild

Examine SmarterChild to see whether he emits light or something.
Examine the rest of the room further.
And check inventory.

You quickly "borrow" Shuriken's katana and bring it down onto SmarterChild's head. There is a brief shower of sparks, and afterwards you discover a very large dent in the katana. You guess that Shuriken won't be happy about that. SmarterChild, undamaged, turns to you and says "what would you like to talk about, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman?"
Shuriken walks up behind you and roughly takes her weapon back. A soft banging noise suggests L33tz4n is hitting her head on the wall.

Originally Posted by Piccolo

Examine SmarterChild to see whether he emits light or something.
Examine the rest of the room further.
And check inventory.

Also, comfort the poor L33tz4n first. ^^;

"We came from Brazil, we are going to Poland"

Say to L33tz4n, "Maybe we should try glitch on it. If it's robotic, that should mean it is controlled by a computer, and if we glitch the computer, that might kill it."

@Acid: Glitching will come back later. Essentially nobody understands it now.

You walk over to L33tz4n and pat her on the back. "It'll be okay," you tell her, "Faw and I are usually more annoying than this SmarterChild robot."
"Well, I guess you're right," L33tz4n says, "but this guy is pretty headache-inducing. Moreso than you guys." Even you have noticed that conversing with SmarterChild hurts your head and causes you to drool sometimes.
You carefully examine your surroundings again (it seems to be a habit). The walls are made from stone, and perfectly smooth with the exception of more dried blood splattered on them and what appears to be pieces of bone, maybe shards of skulls, buried into the stone like projectiles, as if from some kind of explosion. It's quite disturbing. There doesn't seem to be any exits. You look at SmarterChild. He's about three feet tall, and evidently very strong. He doesn't appear to have any lights on him.
You also check your inventory again. You have your knife, the magic map (which still doesn't appear to be working) your trusty roll of tape, some crushed berries, the vial of Middenite, and, of course, the Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire, which you still don't know how to use.
"We came from Brazil and are going to Poland," you tell SmarterChild, hoping to get any useful response.
"Poland, eh?" the robot begins, "it sounds like an interesting place. AOL 14.5 can give you travel information on Poland and other great places. What pets do you have?"

"Fooruman."

Ask SC why all those skeletons and stuff are covering the place, where they come from and all that.
If you don't get a useful answer, ask it to update to a smarter version.
And ask who programmed it. Yay!

"Fooruman," you say. After all, if Unfooruman put SmarterChild there, it may be a keyword.
"I'm sorry," he says, "I seem to be having trouble udnerstanding you. Maybe you need to get new AOL version 15. I use AOL."
Fooruman, evidently thinking you were talking to him, has walked up behind you. "Where are my powers needed, ma'am?" he asks, staring at the ceiling.

"Talk to this robot."

"Are you Irish, Smarter Child? Or possibly made of sulfur?

Or maybe paper, rubber or screwdrivers...

And check the skills of Faw and L33tz4n, too. And any other person with awesome skills I may have forgotten.
If everything fails, lift SC up and throw him against something for the heck of it.

kick smarterchild
Analyze room

Ask : Radium : Is it a smarter child command?

ask SC if he can access the internet.

I don't think It can.

"Talk to this robot," you command the elderly wizard. Fooruman walks over to SmarterChild, kneels down with a cracking noise, and begins to speak.
"Hello little girl," he says gently, "my name is Archmage Fooruman of Castle2. However, to truely understand the meaning of life, one must trace it back to its roots. Namely, that which tastes of STONE. Now, let me tell you a little story. This is a story about a piece of butter who had no toast. He was eaten by a stray, rabid dog. They both died. You can see how this relates; the butter is like life, and the dog was like that which tastes of STONE. Hello."
SmarterChild merely sits there, staring blankly at Fooruman. "My brain is capable of fitting on a five-and-a-half-inch floppy disk," the robot says, "but that was nonetheless the most idiotic combination of words into 'sentences' that I have ever heard in my existence. Please go away." Fooruman frowns with extreme joy and walks back to the other side of the room.

Ask: "Is this Unfooruman's Fortress?"
Search the room for a light switch, using the Enchantresphere to light the way.

Still unable to locate a light switch, you decide to try your hand at communicating with the robot again. "Is this Unfooruman's Fortress?" you ask him.
"Very interesting question, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman. What do you think is the answer?" he replies. You can feel your headache coming back.
"You know," L33tz4n says, rubbing her head, "I think I might know what's with all these exploded skulls."

"Yes?"

"Yes, this is obviously a very advanced defense robot. It might be best if we just didn't talk to it at al."

Say to SmarterChild : "Still, no pets."

Say: "home"