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Tales of Uberbob: Part 2 of, hopefully, 2

 
 
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Jul 1, 2004, 01:40 PM
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Tales of Uberbob: Part 2 of, hopefully, 2

I've started a new thread for the second half of the game in order to pick up anyone who got lost in the massiveness of the previous one. And because the previous one had started to suck. For those of you who don't know, the thread works "D+D style". In D+D terms, I would be the "dungeon master", or in WT terms, person who writes the actual story. You reply with things like "go through the window", "look at the pen", and so on. The rules are as follows:

Nobody gets to use bold except me. This is so it's easier to differentiate the story from the commands. Example:
BAD: Random text here
GOOD: Random text here

No deciding consequences to actions. Example:
BAD: Look behind the rock and accidentally find a machine gun.
GOOD: Look behind the rock.

No playing it as a "Round Robin Story". I'm the "author", not you. Example:
BAD: And then everybody fell off a cliff and died.
GOOD: Fall off the cliff.

No macros. They cause you to miss both important and irrelevant information, making the game a lot more boring. Let's make this something worthy to go in the WT, not Community Game Development.
BAD: If key is in door {open door} else {find key}
GOOD: Is the key in the door?

Only Uberbob and Shuriken can be directly controlled. If ever you severely start to hate Uberbob, you will be allowed to switch the point of view to Shuriken. You can't directly control anyone besides those two, and can only switch between them at rare times.

Anyway, a bit of history from the old thread. The story is about a semibionic, slightly mental, one-eared rabbit named Uberbob and his often-forgotten quest to defeat the evil dreadlord Blackraptor. In short, Uberbob is schizophrenic and you're the voices. Near the beginning of his quest he met an absent-minded healer named Fawriel and a somewhat cruel sorceress named Araches. Together they solved the mysteries of Pandora's Island and killed off all the reptilian Snufuss minions - except for one, a l33t hax0r/summoner named L33tz4n (with the numbers in it), who joined their cause. Whatever their cause was at that time. So, stealing a sexy flying hotrod, they traveled to the somewhat distant land of Placespot. Here, they enlisted the help of a skilled blademaiden named Shuriken and a completely irrelevant character who has since been forgotten. After solving the mysteries of Placespot, they traveled to New Super Ultra Uber Megatropolis, where, with the help of a rather unintelligent superhero named Furious the Monkeyboy, they defeated the bandit king Wafflelord. The party's most recent side-expedition in their hunt for Blackraptor has been a journey to Antifoo Isle, home of the demon Unfooruman. And now, with the minimal assistance of the wizard Fooruman, they finally approach Unfooruman's evil lair...

As you step outside into the dim light, you hear the crack of thunder and look up. In front of you stands an enormous structure, at least three hundred feet high and constructed from blocks of marble taller than you are. The clouds from the thunderstorm swirl only above the citadel, suggesting they were somehow magically summoned. To your left, a cliff drops down several hundred feet into the rough water. The remains of an old bridge once used to cross the gap hang limply on the edge, swinging violently in the storm. Strangely, there seems to be no plant life on this side of the cliff, giving it an eerie, dead feeling. This feeling is only increased by the sound of mysterious, suspenseful music, which at first appears to be coming from nowhere, but then you notice a guy standing behind you with a CD player. "Sorry," he says, "I'm just here for dramatic effect," and wanders off into the distance. You glance around for any sign of danger, and when none is located, signal for the rest of your party to follow you out.
Shuriken appears from the entrance of the cavern and stands by your side, silently glancing around, likely taking in her surroundings and doing her own check for danger. You notice the enchanted tail cut from Xeltoth is folded over several times and hanging from her pocket. Even though it is an enchanted item, she seems quite reluctant to carry it. You've had an enchanted mirror hanging around your neck for days now, and haven't gotten one weird stare, even if it isn't a body part cut off of one of your enemies. You begin to consider that maybe there was a person made of mirrors, and the magic mirror was taken from them. You make a wise choice to stop thinking before you hurt your brain.
L33tz4n and Fawriel are next to emerge from the cavern. Both seem very tired, being the two primary spellcasters in the recent battle with Xeltoth. Fawriel, however, seems much more confident that usual. Xeltoth was hastily defeated, probably leading the healer to believe the upcoming challenges would follow suite. L33tz4n, however, possesses a much more grim expression as she analyzes the citadel. Being the more realistic of the two, she probably understands that they just used up all the spells they had prepared and are about to confront an enemy unlike any they have faced up to this point. She seems discontent with Fawriel's confidence, but unwilling to explain the actual situation to him. Fawriel whispers something to her and she nods in (possibly fake) agreement. You didn't pick up what he said, but you are pretty sure you heard the word "ice cream", and therefore it was probably utterly irrelevant.
The archmage Fooruman is last to join the rest of your party. For reasons you can not begin to comprehend, he is carrying his staff in his mouth like a dog would carry a bone. He didn't seem to consider, however, that the staff's width is greater than the width of the cavern entrance, and crashes into it. He falls to the ground and begins to flop around on his back like a fish. After a couple seconds of watching the wizard, Fawriel asks "Do you think one of us should help him up?" After it is clear nobody is going to say "yes", you decide to turn your attention and further examine the citadel.
The enormous marble stones making up the massive fortress are all carefully carved with strange symbols, likely of magical significance. You follow the tiny swirls and lines along the stone blocks, and notice they all converge on an arched doorway. Beyond the doorway is far too dark to make out. It is quite easy to make out, though, among the undisturbed rocks that litter the ground in front of the doorway, streaks of dried blood.
L33tz4n seems to be examining the carvings on the wall with much more interest than you. "The way they all m3et at the door," she says. You haven't heard traces of her old l33t accent in a long time. "I don't like how this looks," she concludes, staring curiously at the doorway.
You feel around in your pockets for anything of use; it occurs to you that a few things had been lost in the teleporter. You still seem to have the knife you always carry and the crumpled magic map (still not working right). The berries you had been carrying were crushed, creating a sticky mess. The vial of Middenite, a strange light-bending substance given to you by an evil Mexican warlord (and friend of Fooruman), is still intact. Your trusty roll of tape is still there, and, of course, so is the Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitymanypagedla zerlightysuperflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfour seatsestrudelire. If you don't know what that is, don't bother finding out, as it appears to have no use. You also check that the bookmark of eternity is still stuffed in your sleeve. Enchanted to only be movable when touched, you aren't able to carry it in your pocket.

So, the question comes: What do you want Uberbob to do now? Dun dun dun...
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Jul 1, 2004, 01:49 PM
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I'll strike the first blow.

Help Fooruman up.
Check which way is north as you're facing the fortress. (It should be to Uberbob's left)
Enter the scary-looking fortress through the dark door. Stay together.

Oh yeah, claim the page and add it to the Thirdnote. XD
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Jul 1, 2004, 01:58 PM
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Go back to the teleporter and try to find out where Araches has gone to.
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Jul 1, 2004, 02:07 PM
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You walk back to the cave entrance where Fooruman fell over. Not surprisingly, he's still there. You help the old man up. "Thank you, ma'am," he says, bowing and prancing away in the general direction of the rest of the party.
You return to the fortress and stand in front of the doorway. Your madd compass skills tell you that you are facing north. You begin to walk towards the doorway, but notice that nobody is following you. You turn and ask them "what's wrong?"
"The markings," L33tz4n begins, "they clearly have some magical purpose. I'm not sure it's safe just charging through."
"We could send someone we don't care about," Shuriken says. You guess that she was talking about Fooruman, but at least that suggests your party cares about you. A little, anyway.
There is an awkward silence as the rest of the party waits for your plan. The only sounds that can be heard are the howling of the wind, the clattering of the broken bridge against the cliff face, and "Duel of the Fates", probably from the guy with the CD player.

Last edited by Radium; Jul 1, 2004 at 02:31 PM.
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Jul 1, 2004, 02:12 PM
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Ask: Fooruman: "Does this door have a magic spell on it?"
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Old Jul 1, 2004, 02:14 PM
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Jul 1, 2004, 02:18 PM
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You turn to the wizard. "Does this door have a magic spell on it?" you ask him. He walks up to the doorway, looks at the top, looks at the bottom, and licks the frame. He strokes his beard as if thinking, before finally concluding "it tastes... of STONE." Fawriel nods in agreement. Fooruman then proceeds to lick the rest of the door frame.
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Jul 1, 2004, 02:21 PM
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Look for a rock on the ground.
Toss rock at the door.
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Jul 1, 2004, 02:31 PM
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You pick up a rock from the ground in front of the doorway and toss it into the darkness. You hear no sound, not even the rock hitting the ground. Fawriel, no longer looking confident, backs away from the doorway and hides behind you.
"See?" L33tz4n says, "there's something wrong with that door. Even if it's not magic, there could be a pit or something hidden in those shadows."
"Or a monster," Fawriel adds.
"No, we would've heard that," L33tz4n responds.
Fawriel tilts his head curiously. "What about a monster in a pit?" he asks.
"That tastes of STONE," Fooruman growls. Another awkward silence ensues. Even the guy with the CD player stops.
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Jul 1, 2004, 03:05 PM
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Toss another rock at the door.
Toss the Thridnote at the door.
SAVE GAME (HA! Beat you to it, Rad! >=D)
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Jul 1, 2004, 03:10 PM
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Is Araches dead?
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Jul 1, 2004, 03:11 PM
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No. She's in the underground maze, but we can't get to her.
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Jul 1, 2004, 04:02 PM
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Where is she in the underground maze?
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Jul 1, 2004, 04:04 PM
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Doesn't matter. The teleporter is 1-way, so we can't get back to the maze till we beat Unfooruman's lair.
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Jul 1, 2004, 04:10 PM
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How'd ya know this was Unfooruman's lair?
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Jul 1, 2004, 04:25 PM
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We just do, cretin.

Analyze: Spells
Analyze: Status
Analyze: Inventory
Analyze: Stone Doorway
put arm through the door arch
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Jul 1, 2004, 04:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Radium
The party's most recent side-expedition in their hunt for Blackraptor has been a journey to Antifoo Isle, home of the demon Unfooruman. And now, with the minimal assistance of the wizard Fooruman, they finally approach Unfooruman's evil lair...
I know because I actually pay attention to Radium.

Or were you being sarcastic?
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Jul 1, 2004, 04:38 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RSPSS FR
I know because I actually pay attention to Radium.

Or were you being sarcastic?
I think he honestly didn't know...That's what DM'ing does to ya.
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Jul 1, 2004, 05:10 PM
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ACK. ACK, I SAY. I B BLIND. B((((
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Old Jul 1, 2004, 05:20 PM
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Jul 1, 2004, 07:01 PM
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You break the silence by picking up another rock and throwing it though the doorway. Still, there is no sound from the other side. Quickly, before anyone can say anything to stop you, you thrust your remaining non-robotic arm though the doorway. Your arm is stuck. You can't see anything holding it, but you can't pull it back out.
L33tz4n curiously examines the doorway. "It's probably a one-way door," she suggests, "that would explain why we couldn't hear anything on the other side."
"If you don't want to go in, I can cut your arm off," Shuriken says, looking at your arm and then at you.
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Jul 1, 2004, 07:06 PM
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"Not right now. I think I'll stick around here for a bit first."

Examine EVERYTHING.
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Jul 1, 2004, 07:13 PM
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Enter door.
SAVE
Examine surroundings.
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Jul 1, 2004, 07:20 PM
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Your event ordering is somewhat questionable.
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Jul 1, 2004, 08:07 PM
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"Not right now," you tell Shuriken, "I think I'll stick around here for a bit first." Nobody seems to be sure if you were joking or not.
You carefully examine your surroundings again. The stone walls of the citadel go far off in both directions, dissapearing into the thick fog (no doubt also magically summoned). Shuriken is standing next to you, hand on her sword. Somewhere behind you is Fawriel, L33tz4n, Fooruman, and probably the unidentified guy with the CD player. Below you are several scattered rocks and a large smear of dried blood. Strangely, the blood is splattered as if it was shot from the doorway. Another crack of thunder is heard from the storm overhead, louder this time.
"I'm not sure it's safe being out here in the storm," L33tz4n says, "it might actually be better to go in."



I'm making saves automatic.
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Jul 1, 2004, 08:21 PM
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Identify : CD player guy
Say : What are you doing?
Control : Shuriken : Attempt to get CD player guy to join the party by any means needed.
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Jul 1, 2004, 10:03 PM
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Say: CD Player guy: Hey m8 want to join our party? B)))))
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Jul 2, 2004, 07:30 AM
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Invite CD player guy to join the party.
Say "I'm going in. If I die, load the game, okay?"
go through the doorway.



By the way, Radium, why is Foo completely irrelevant? =(
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Jul 2, 2004, 08:44 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by acid
By the way, Radium, why is Foo completely irrelevant? =(
It's not that he was a completely irrelevant person, it's just that he was completely irrelevant to the story. He joined them, he followed them around a little, then they sold him in exchange for magic lessons. I didn't think that was important enough to go in the summary, but I knew UR would complain if I left Foo out entirely.


You turn to the guy with the CD player. He looks about twenty and is wearing jeans and a sports jacket. "What are you doing?" you ask the man.
"Oh? Me?" he responds, "I do the background music for Unfooruman's citadel. Originally he, like, thought the thunderstorm would be enough, but adventurer magazines were giving the citadel got low ratings in the 'mood' category. Adding, like, music was the logical solution."
"Being adventurers," Shuriken begins, "I think it's traditional to ask you to join our party."
He shrugs. "Sorry, I work for, like, the badguy. And I'm not supposed to be too obvious; that's why I'm, like, wearing black." The only black the man seems to be wearing is his socks.

You direct your attention back to the doorway. "I'm going in," you tell your party, "if I die, load the game, m'kay?" Nobody seems to know what you're talking about. You take a deep breath and charge through the door, only to trip over something and come crashing to the ground.
It's too dark to see anything on the inside of the building. You feel around the ground to see what you tripped over. Not surprisingly, it' a human skeleton. Actually, scattered pieces of several of them. You continue to feel around, looking for a clue to whatever killed them. The only interesting thing you conclude is that there are no intact skulls in the pile of bones.
You hear a stumbling, a slithering, and two pairs of footsteps, likely the rest of your party. You hear L33tz4n whisper "Shh, anyone hear that?". The footsteps stop, and you can just barely make out the sound of mechanical joints moving up ahead.
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Jul 2, 2004, 08:47 AM
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We need map for Unfooruman's fortress, I guess :(

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Jul 2, 2004, 10:34 AM
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Leetzan: Summon: Enchantresphere

The light coming from the sphere should be able to illuminate the area.
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:09 AM
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"Can you summon another enchantresphere?" you ask L33tz4n (or more specifically, where you assume she is standing).
"After the battle, I'm not sure I can make another," she responds, "but I'll try to get a little one or something." You can make out several flickers of light blue electricity as the small purple sphere appears floating between her hands, dimly glowing. It grows to about six inches in diameter before releasing several glowing white balls of energy that slowly gravitate around it.
It takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the light. When they finally do, you can make out a small, humanoid form with blank white eyes near the edge of the room. Shuriken is first to address it.
"Show yourself," she calls to the creature in the corner. A small robot waddles forward.
"Hello there," it says "before I can get to know you, I have to know what I can call you. Please tell me your name. :)"
L33tz4n slithers up to the robot. "It looks harmless," she calls back to you.
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:11 AM
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IT IS PURE EVIL!

Oh, a command.

Tell the robot our names and send Fooruman to examine it... not with his tongue, if possible.
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:23 AM
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You look at the small robot, somewhat disappointed. You were hoping for a giant monster. "I'm Uberbob, this is L33tz4n, Shuriken, and Fawriel, and that's Fooruman," you explain to the robot.
"Good morning, Uberbob This Is L33tz4n Shuriken And Fawriel And That's Fooruman," the robot responds, "what are your hobbies, and do you have any pets?"
Fooruman crawls up to the robotic creature and sniffs it. He prances back to you. "Made from pure titanium, 47 MB of 50 used, last modified December 23." L33tz4n seems quite surprised and impressed with Fooruman's explanation, while Fawriel looks downright confused. Fooruman also looks quite confused.
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:27 AM
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"We all like adventures, pie, and fun stuff."
Point at Fooruman
"Also, does he count as pet?"
Old Jul 2, 2004, 11:29 AM
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Old Jul 2, 2004, 11:30 AM
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:32 AM
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"We all like adventures, pie, and fun stuff," you tell the robot.
"Quite interesting," it responds, ".000014% of the other people I have talked to also liked adventures, pie, and fun stuff."
"Also," you say, pointing towards Fooruman, "does he count as a pet?"
"I'm sorry," the robot says, "I've never heard of a pet called a 'does he count as a pet'. Please select from the following: Cat, dog, rodent, camel, horse, cow, kangaroo, rock, robot, possum, or lesser humanoid. :) :) :)"
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:33 AM
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Ask the robot whether he knows a certain "Smarter Child".
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:34 AM
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"Sorry, no pets."
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:38 AM
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"Sorry, no pets," you tell the robot.
He frowns. "That's okay, you aren't alone. 0% of the other people I talked to also had no pets."
You think you are beginning to understand this robot. "Tell me," you ask him "have you ever heard of a certain 'Smarter Child'?"
"Why, yes," it says, "I am SmarterChild. Would you like to know more about me? :)" His face makes a sort of mechanical clicking noise as he smiles.
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:40 AM
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"Yes, tell us."
POV : Shuriken
Go away while robot is talking.
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:41 AM
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Edit: Radium already posted. Boo.
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Jul 2, 2004, 11:41 AM
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say: "We used to have a Fox, but she got left behind sadly."
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