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Uuummm....War Stories Might Be Back? - by various people

Violet CLM

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Nov 19, 2001, 04:12 PM
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Suddenly, the movie was over. Accoring to Black Rabite, who had been bouncing up and down in his chair, it had been about to reach a climatic part, but it had just stopped. There was no more film in the projector. Losing interesting, the various denizens wandered around the spaceship, causing trouble and the like.

Kovu walked up to some Neutron Fibers used for keeping the airlock in one piece, and used them as a wig. Shigeru Montoya, or whatever his name is, had been in the airlock at the time. Note that I said had. Sometime, thousands of years in the future, he'll probably drift onto some strange planet. In the meantime, though, Kovu looked quite fashionable.

Unknown Rabbit came across some large piping material that looked like it had come right out of Labrat. Cutting a small hole in it with his Ultra Spiffy Swiss Army Bayonet, he yelled "HELLO IN THERE" into the tube. In the cockpit, Black Rabite jumped. The ship went haphazardly off course, and almost smashed into an asteroid. Unknown Rabbit, not knowing that he had almost killed them all, strolled around looking for a soda machine.

DDay walked up to a computer terminal, and started browsing the ADVENTURERS forum. After that, he downloaded the demo version of JJ1, and started playing it. Fquist hovered behind him, saying how terrible the graphics were, and how the sound was ugly. DDay wasn't sure how a sound can be ugly, so he kept on playing. At least he wasn't causing trouble.

Beauman, feeling very lazy, walked around with a pixy cola in his hand. Telling Unknown Rabbit where to find the soda machine, he walked up to the thermosat adjuster. After reading the clip on instructions booklet, he knew better then to hit the large red button. It was very hard to do, however, as rabbits are naturally attracted to shiny buttons. However, the fear of giant fireballs coming out of all the ventilation shafts kept Beauman away.

Claw clambered through one of said ventilation shafts, looking for something to hunt. So far, he had found 24.9 bugs in the system, and he was still hungry.

The titans, who somehow had managed to fit inside the Space War Tavern, had their own room. This was because anyone who entered was likely to be squashed. Their quarters were very tight, and the beer tap GenEX had installed didn't help either. At least he was getting paid for it, even if he couldn't just teleport to a distant plane and do all of this much quicker.

The Golden Knight, anxious to get back to the set of Jurassic Park something or other, was rather impatient with the speed of this ship. In his day, spaceships would go at least thrice this speed, and not show such corny movies. Science fiction, in his opinion, was so much better then documentaries. Searching for the engines, he accidentally tripped over a small lever. Machine gun turrets popped up inside the jail, and started gunning down all the refugee villains from Bucky o' Hare's game that hadn't gotten a chance to particiapate in Cannibal Fraud. Feud, I mean.

Cobra and Fquist walked around, commenting on the shoddyness of the place. Coming across Fire Sword, they assigned him to give everything three more coats of paint. Complaining about only wanting to do a little writing, Fire Sword threw a paint can at Fquist's head. It was a mistake, and Dreama showed up only just in time to prevent a banning.



I wanna land somewhere.
Hareoic

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Nov 20, 2001, 03:50 PM
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Lightbulb

[I]So this is the EPCMGGMS universe... I knew this ship still had a few bugs in it. I better update the map of the universe while I'm in the control room, and all the other machinery"[I]
Black Rabite had a knack for updating machinery. He installed what he called "Accelerator GX-25 Warp Drive" for a new means of movement in space(I'm not sure what else to call it, other than warp drive), A "Rambo Extermination Special N75" Gun Turret, gave all the ship's computers a MAJOR upgrade in hard drive space (765, 623, 555, 123, 688, 912 hundred thousand more terrabytes, which are equal to 1024 gigabytes apeice), a Pentium 739,675,490Ultra Processor, a billion dollar scanner, a Fl@$h Modem, a library containing every single book ever released to the public, an arcade consisting of 50,000 different coin-operated consoles(with 100% theft-proof locks), 20 huge-screen TVs, a dozen Jukeboxes, 7 discoballs, 100,000,000 rooms(each with a bed, bath, shower, jaccuzi, big screen TV, and burgalar alarm), a bigger new arena for Cannibal Feud with traps and such, and, of course, a new computerized map of the EPCMGGMS universe. And he had to do it all by HAND, ALL by himself, and NO psychic powers used at all. When he was done, he was proud of his work, because it only took him 5 days non-stop. He was about to relax when he remembered nobody else was piloting the ship. He hurried back but was too late. They were about to crash onto a planet. "Attention passengers, attention passengers. We are about to collide with a seriously hostile-looking planet. Please scream and run around in circles." Of course. everybody did so. Then Black Rabite decided to put the new shield around the Tavern so it wouldn't take any damage from the crash. He could care less about his life right now, because his prized work was at stake!
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But perhaps the most likely reason of all,
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Violet CLM

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Nov 20, 2001, 06:25 PM
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Well, of COURSE it's the EPICMEGAGAMES universe. Where else did you think we would be, the PGSFTWR universe? (Or APOGEESOFTWARE, for long)


There was a jarring thump, which sucessfully thumped all the jars inside the Fabulous Space War Tavern. Kovu was thrown out of the pickle jar, which he had a knack for getting into, and a lot of rabbits fell on eachothers' heads. Claw went flying out a shaft opening, and crashed into the door. The locks had stopped working from the jolt of the landing, even though Black Rabite had done his best to prevent total annhilation, so Claw went sailing out onto this hostile new world. At least, judging from Rabite's expectations and Claw's vision, it was hostile. Computers and other game systems were laying in huge flaming piles, video games were fashionably being blown apart by Semi Automatic Ultimacia Brand Rifles. The inhabitants of the planet, a bunch of books with arms and legs, were screaming at the top of their leafs "One, Two, Three, Four! We don't want your pixel war!" Claw, stunned, ran back inside the Fabulous Space War Tavern to huddle underneath Batty Buddy's umbrella.

The Lemon Pies, which had been hurled out of the formerly locked cupboards, began thinking they were Gun4 Homing Missiles. Everyone ran in circles screaming some more, as Lemon Pies flew at 3mph behind them. If any of them had had the sense to run down a hallway, they could have easily outdistanced the Lemon Pies, but they were to busy running in circles and screaming to notice. Fortunately for the cleanliness of all concerned, Beauman quickly threw one of his emergancy plot holes in the direction of the Lemon Pies, sucking them all up. Unfortunately for the stomachs of all concerned, the plot hole also sucked up all food aboard the Fabulous Space War Tavern. It would have gotten all the drinks, too, but it is impossible for the War Tavern to run out of alchohol. A long long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, Darth Vader yelled a non repeatable word as fifty thousand Lemon Pies plopped into his face.

Meanwhile, back on whatever planet the War Tavern is situated in, (it's either Carrotus or Diamondu, I'd say) Freelance continued to desolately walk the streets of downtown Krackuhjakuhs. He had seen the Fabulous Space War Tavern blast off of the planet six days ago, and he still had not decided on a new name. His legs were also regretting he had abandoned the horse. Said horse, in fact, was now in another story all together, bravely fighting off Nazguls with its hooves. Freelance had narrowed it down to two names, "Ancoysd" or "Cvomsues", and was in a state of liking them equally. In asking other inhabitants and lowlife one which they thought was better, he had been mugged 5 times, knocked unconcious 3, told to bug off 21.5 and had gotten rather sick of the whole deal 29.5. He hitched a ride on a horse and cart with what was left of his money, and thought to himself angrily as he was bumped along the road.
  • I
  • Must,
  • Must,
  • MUST
  • find
  • a
  • way
  • to
  • stop
  • this
  • torture!
  • Maybe
  • there's
  • someone
  • I
  • know
  • nearby
  • who
  • owns
  • a
  • spaceship......
  • No,
  • I
  • said
  • I'm
  • leaving
  • my
  • old
  • life
  • behind.
Getting off at a Soup Kitchen, Freelance walked sadly up to the window, still attempting to decide between "Ancoysd" or "Cvomsues".

Back in the Fabulous War Tavern, everyone had calmed down. A shaken up bottle of beer still exploded every few minutes, sometimes soaking someone, but other then that the aftermath of the crash was over. Black Rabite had recieved an award for saving most of the ship by turning on the shield, and had had it taken away because it had been his fault in the first place. Beauman, who had taken the chair GenEX had taken from Gummybear back on the War Tavern's home planet, began a speech. "Fellow space travellers, we are gathered here today because Black Rabite crashed us all onto a planet. Only one of us has seen what is on the planet, and he does not want to return. Usually, Claw is a very calm.... Claw, but he saw something there that has shaken him considerably. Claw?"
"Thankee, Beauman. Waell, I done right enough saw a big hooten anty with lots of book thangies burning cah-omputers and vih-de-o games! I even saw a few copies of Jazz 2 in there along with them!" There was a collective gasp, and Beauman continued.
"With or without his weird new accent, Claw has just explained why we have no wish to remain upon this planet. If the bookians were to venture upon our Fabulous Space War Tavern, I would not be surprised if they started smashing everything. Does anyone have a suggestion on how we may get off this horrid place, so we can return to our earlier task of reaching Hollywood, Earth?"
GenEX walked up to the podium, and quickly stole Beauman's microphone. "I have an idea! Let us all go teleport to a distant plan-" however, before GenEX could continue, Kovu threw a beer bottle at him. It exploded on the wall above the stolen stolen chair, and completely drenched Gen. Sputtering, he leaped across the room onto Kovu, and they started tussling. Taking no notice, Beauman went on.
"Does anyone ELSE have an idea on how we may accomplish the feat I spoke of not two minutes ago? Remember, if we suceed, we shall get about a Million KATRILLION BUCKS each!"
The Golden Knight stood up, cleared his throat importantly, and said "Well, actually, that's without tax, shipping, handling, customs, foreign exchange, time travel tax and universal travel fines. Minus all that, you actually get only about two million bucks each." Everyone turned upon the Golden Knight, and started yelling insults at him until Fire Sword wisely pointed out that two million bucks was still a lot of money. While it could not buy them all their own private galaxies, like they had planned, it could easily satisfy all realistic needs for a while yet.


Well? Does anyone have any ideas on how to get off besides teleporting to a distant plan?
BæÅüMàÑ

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Nov 20, 2001, 09:31 PM
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(Black Rabite? ehehe, u've been playing too much Siekien Denentsu 3, my friend... i'll try to post a part over turkey day weekend)
Hareoic

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Nov 22, 2001, 10:52 AM
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Hey guys. I'm posting on my relative's computer in Des Moines. Cool, eh?
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Black Rabite was more of a peaceful type. He decided to speed out of reach of the rabid rabbit. Seizing the microphone, he made an announcement."I wish to tell you all that it is actually the Golden Knight's fault, for he was complaining about the ship needing updating. And another thing, I don't have arms OR legs, I have to bounce to move around, and I can't stand on/pick up objects with my ears for very long. And another thing, I can give everybody 1000x more money than a measly 2 million. But gold weighs a lot, so I think we may have to lighten the load..." He grinned and turned to the Golden Knight, who was panicking because all the taverners agreed with Rabite. Black sent the knight home, and gave everybody 20million dollarsworth of gold. And they discovered the tavern weighed less than before, even with all the money. Obviously, the knight weighed a few thousand tons without the armor itself, so maybe that was the reason the tavern fell so fast.

But Black Rabite was thinking deeply, and he realised what the planet was named."Taverners, I have another announcement to make. The planet is name Librarius, and the books don't like our video games. Here's the plan..."
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But perhaps the most likely reason of all,
was that his bombs were simply two sizes too small
Violet CLM

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Nov 22, 2001, 12:26 PM
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Thumbs down

RESTRAIN ME, SOMEONE. I AM MAD.
Ducky

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Nov 23, 2001, 09:03 AM
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*clings to Unknownie*
It'll be alright!....someday. I promise!
Here, have some celery and peanut butter.

I don't want you to kill anyone so I'm not letting go until yourelax.
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remember? (:
FireSworD

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Nov 23, 2001, 10:30 AM
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Talking

Calm down Unknown I'll take care of GenEx.
Hareoic

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Nov 28, 2001, 02:05 PM
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Ahem? I beg to differ...
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was that his bombs were simply two sizes too small
Violet CLM

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Nov 28, 2001, 09:03 PM
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Suddenly, three very odd things happened.
One: Just as the Golden Knight arrived back at the set of Jurassic Park, he vanished.

Two: All the gold that GenEX had given the Tavern regulars (as well as DDay) suddenly oozed into one very lare nugget, with after some cool movie special effects and lightning, turned into the Golden Knight. Said Knight could offer no explanation of this most peculiar occurance, until.....

Three: The king of all gods (Arjan Brusse, or whatever his last name is) came down from the heavens and pointed his cloudy finger at Gen. "You! GenEX, scout of the gods, sent away to help us all those years ago! You have been using your godly powers most unwisely....." At this point, GenEX was trembling in his shoes, huddling behind a dashboard, knowing what the god king could do to him.

"You should know that such waste of your powers could result in something nasty and generally undesirable, GenEX. (What king of a name is that anyway?) As punishment for your fun, I sentence you to the cruel fate of not being able to use any godly or psychic powers for the rest of this storyline!!!!!" And before GenEX could put up any sort of shield, his powers were gone for the rest of this storyline.

"Now, before I depart, do any of you worshippers wish my autograph?" Several did, Unknown Rabbit included, so Arjan shot small firebolts to write his name on various pieces of paper. Those who didn't have paper ripped metal sheeting off of the floor of the Fabulous Space War Tavern Now In Crashed Form Buy Now While Supplies Last. Meanwhile, GenEX mournfully went back to explaining his plan.....:
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Hareoic

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Dec 1, 2001, 12:43 PM
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I have nothing to say, except that you're ruining the story AGAIN, and if I manage to finish My Story, then maybe you'll see why I cannot lose my powers. Zues punished other gods when they did wrong, but he didn't take away their abilities. Besides, in the story...
Nevermind, you'll have to see for yourself
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But perhaps the most likely reason of all,
was that his bombs were simply two sizes too small
Violet CLM

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Dec 1, 2001, 01:48 PM
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I merely changed it back to how it was before you destroyed the plot in order to go with the SUB plot, and prevented you from using your powers that can do anything to ruin the plot AGAIN. Have you considered that we want to actually write about doing things, instead of having you use godlike powers to instantly complete something? Give some other people a chance to do something.

Meanwhile, Plan, Plan!
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Dec 1, 2001, 04:27 PM
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Part of this whole War Tavern is the cooperation. If it all depends on one person who is not only godmoding, but not letting anyone join in, then it's all crud and not worth it. The plot isn't set in stone, and it all doesn't depend on a self-proclaimed hero. If anyone becomes a hero, it's because others have declared them to be so.

Back to work.
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Hareoic

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Dec 1, 2001, 04:45 PM
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*grumbles that there's no justice in the war tavern*
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Ducky

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Dec 4, 2001, 03:50 PM
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You tell them Cobra.


*elbows Gen in the ribs*

There's loads of justice here. Its just the kind that makes it RIGHT.




Okay, here's the NEW plot. *takes over the world*

Suddenly, a huge meteor struck the the Fabulous Space War Tavern Now In Crashed Form Buy Now While Supplies Last.

A strange green coating layed over the bystanders.

They were all transformed into indefeatable, superhuman, godlike beings.

And all started fighting. Since they were all wonderpeople and totallay unable to be even slightly injurned in the smallest way, they couldn't even give each other a rug burn.










GEEZ. NOW we're in a predicament.
LOOK WHATS HAPPENED! WE can't even call on GEN TO SAVE US now! BECAUSE WE"RE ALL SO WONDERFUL THAT WE CAN'T SAVE OURSELVES.



*sarcasm*


Oh we're all so STUPID.
*bursts into tears and knocks as many people over as possible on her way out
*
Hareoic

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Dec 4, 2001, 06:01 PM
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We don't even have to fight, if I'd posted sooner...


Sadly, the effects lasted 2 seconds.
"Arg" growled Rubba' Duck,"Gen, you ruined ANOTHER plot!"

"It's black rabite, mallard! And I was about to make my speech when that stupid meteor crashed! All we have to do to the aggressive books is READ them. They're sad because we've all had our faces in front of the television screens and computers. They're jealous. Find a good book to read. And follow me!"

Black (rabite, not sheep) led them to the savage books and said "Oh, my! What interesting books! It HAS been boring flying across the universe with NOTHING to DO..."
The books suddenly calmed down and eventualy, their arms and legs shrank away and the closed their eyes, and the eyes disappeared.
"Now, to prevent this from happening again to the next people who land here, everybody get all the books you can find and bring them back to the ship. I'll add a library to the War Tavern!"
And, because Black Rabite showed some astoundingly good common sense, they listened. Of course, they didn't want to have to drag all the books back to the war tavern, every book ever made was there, and they didn't have time, they still thought they were heading for Hollywood. They decided that the storyline was over and Black got his powers back, transporting them to a newly built library section. Then he gave himself a pair of arms and checked out a good Redwall book and started reading after he made the ship takeoff.

Meanwhile, the knight was still trapped on librarius, screaming for help. "ALRIGHT! I'll give you the decillion dollars! Just GET ME OFF THIS BORING PLANET!!!"
Nobody even remembered that they brought him along. They were concentrating on reading some interesting books they checked out at the The Black Rabite's Library.


A very good inspiration for us all, sitting down and reading some good books...
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Dec 4, 2001, 06:52 PM
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Although reading was very good and all, they suddenly remembered that this story was about the tavern. Suddenly, they all ran to the tavern, hoping that they could steal a few bottles of brew before Ducky caught them. She did though, and severly whacked everyone.
Several rabbits got mad at Genex and were threatening to drop the jukebox on top of him, but HatMan came the the rescue and banned them all for making a personal attack.
For some reason, more bunnies got into kilts and started dancing on the bar while playing bagpipes.

Cobra sighed sadly in the corner. If you weren't a freak trying to live in a world where your guy was running off to the military, people were dancing in kilts. What was the world coming to.
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Violet CLM

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Dec 4, 2001, 06:59 PM
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Meanwhile, Unknown Rabbit thinks about stopping writing in this topic. GenEX has totally ruined all the fun.
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Hareoic

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Dec 5, 2001, 01:46 PM
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Everbody's getting restless...

Maybe a little bit more cannibal feud is needed. Then we could have some kinds of tournaments, SSB tourneys WITHOUT Miyamoto, something like that...
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But perhaps the most likely reason of all,
was that his bombs were simply two sizes too small
Violet CLM

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Dec 7, 2001, 01:03 PM
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Okie doke. Gen appears to be gone, but I'm not sure what's currently going on. Recap, someone?
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Blàçk Räbí†ë¡®

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Dec 7, 2001, 01:05 PM
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What makes you think I'm gone?
Kaz

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Dec 7, 2001, 04:11 PM
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Smile

Why am I not suprised you'd name youself after one of the most powerful things in the SNES games.
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BæÅüMàÑ

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Dec 7, 2001, 07:14 PM
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*Shivers at the thought of Black Rabites*
ok, well... since GenEX seems to be gone for the moment (no offense meant to GenEX, it just seems that way), and i'm in an inspirational writing mood, and the thought of cannibal feud, i guess i'll submit a post to lay everything flat and normal again...
==============================================
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ was sitting in thought, trying to decifer wat had happened amid the chaos, and realized that mostly everyone else was doing the same. Then, an idea sparked in his head, that he should relieve everyone of deep thought.
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ then pulled out a conviently located remote out of his pocket, which he snatched from under the bar earlier, and pushed a bright blue button*

all of a sudden, the whole tavern went black, causing it to be silent, and the motion of the kilted rabbits stopped also.
then, a dim light lit on in the center of the tavern floor, where much smoke dispersed from the floor.
amid from the smoke, a figure could be seen...
Familar Voice: Ladies and gentlebunnies, lil'rabbits and other beings... I present to you... CANNIBAL FEUD: SPECIAL EDITION!!!
*Suddenly (everything must happen suddenly ), Spotlights of colors a many lit up on the cieling, and set explosions exploded around wat could now be made out as a cage (KISS Style), and then many strobe lights came on, and BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ strode out from the smoke, in a rather nice Blood Red Tuxedo*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: DO WE WANT CANNIBAL FEUD?!?!?
Crowd: YA!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: DO WE WANT BLOOD SPLATTERED ACROSS THE CAGE!?!?!?
Crowd: YA!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: DO WE WANT TO SEE ORGANS FLYING EVERYWHERE, SPRAYING OUT BODILLY FLUIDS, 'TILL THEY'RE CRUSHED AND CHEWED BY THE TEETH OF YOUR FELLOW RABBIT, AND THEN CRAPPED OUT IN TAE CAN?!?!!?
*Crowd went silent*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: er... YAAAAAAAAA!
Crowd: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: OK! Our first contestant shall be...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ pulled out a laser grappler, to avoid the hassle of calling a person up*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Is...
*BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ shot it out into the audience, and grappled a rabbit*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Unknown Rabbit!
*Unknown, a little bit bewildered, waved to the audience*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: And, your competitor, is...
*smoke then puffed out from the stage, and a spiked wheel appeared, which was drenched in blood-red paint, and was spun by BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ*
*The Wheel Spun Spun Spun, until landing on "Tiny"*
*Unknown wept a sweat from his brow in relief*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Your opponent is... Tiny! Oi! Joey! Release Tiny!
*Then the ground started to shake, as a monstrous turtle stomped into the cage, with crimson eyes and sharp, unkempt teeth*
BæÅüMÃ(-)Ñ: Unknown, enter the cage now, and face your opponent!
*The crowd cheered rather loudly*
*Unknown entered the cage, and the cage was locked behind him, as he moved in as strobe lights flashed everywhere*
==============================================
Oi! Unknown! do your battle-scene since you should prolly do it since it's about you. If you don't do it in 3-4 days, i'll prolly do it for u.
Violet CLM

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Dec 8, 2001, 10:54 PM
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I'll edit this later to contain the scene, right now I have to go.

Ok. I was planning to include a long dream, with weird stuff, but I got stuck and decided to post it seperately sometime later. Meanwhile, here's the fight.




Tiny lunged, roaring a tiny roar which I don't think turtles can do anyway so don't ask me how he did it let alone what I think I mean by tiny roar as roar sort of implies large and loud anyway etc etc etc.....

Unknown Rabbit, grabbing something that had been left in the ring by Clarence, threw it at Tiny. It happened to be a Pocket Protector, and had no effect on Tiny. Neither did the Geeky glasses found in the same corner. As time was running out, even if Tiny was lunging through the air in slow motion, Unknown Rabbit ran under the flying turtle and delivered an uppercutt to a most sensitive spot. Unfortunately, this didn't cause Tiny to go flying off the stage in pain, it merely caused him to stop hurtling. Unknown looked fearfully up at the midair hovering body of Tiny, then was almost squashed as the Turtle fell.

Nobody was quite sure what happened next for ten seconds or so, but it is general belief that a chandeleir fell onto Tiny, which was quite odd as there weren't any Chandeleirs. Regardless, while this curious event did not make Tiny fall over dead, the broken pieces flying all over did prevent anyone from seeing the stage for a while. When the mess subsided, everyone who was watching could see Tiny, standing amongst the wreckage and flames of the fallen light producer, holding Unknown Rabbit high in the air. Tiny, looking at Unknown Rabbit, posed a question that had never been asked before in Cannibal Fraud. "Can I kill you now? Devan Shell said that the more rabbits I killed, I would be more likely to go to Heaven, instead of the Swamps of the Sleeping Jaguar. But I don't want to hurt your feelings."
Unknown Rabbit looked oddly at the turtle, his normal colored eye did anyway, and started talking. "But Bob, I mean Tiny, killing rabbits so you'll go heaven is Fanaticisim! And that's bad! Don't you see, if you kill me now, the Terrorists have already won!"
"Gee.... they will? They have?"
"They will unless you put me down."
"Duh, ok."
Tiny put Unknown Rabbit down, and then the fight began again. Unknown was regetting not giving more detailed instructions, but he was in no place to complain. While running around in circles, he managed to get a good dagger eye glare at Beauman, who was still announcing that Tiny looked as if he had been exercising lately.

Tiny, taking a break from chasing after Unknown Rabbit all around the boxing ring, (the turtle chased the rabbit) sat down. Unknown Rabbit didn't get a chance to stop running, and thus smashed straight into the hard shell of Tiny. In surprise, Tiny got up, and looked behind him to see the prostrate body of Unknown. Bellowing, Tiny leaped into the air, shaped himself in the popular "cannonball" diving position and went straight down. Through some streak of possibly divine intervention, Unknown Rabbit managed to pull himself out of the way of the plummeting behometh before Tiny smashed right through the ground, stage, 'Tavern floor, grass, soil, rock, various minerals and kept smashing down all the way to the center of the planet, where he burned into little KFT niblets.

Unknown Rabbit, dazed, got up and looked around the 'Tavern, and vaugely noticed Beauman hurridly holding up a "Applaud" cue card. Then he collapsed into a cage wall, and sagged.

A few days later, he woke up, rather covered in bruises, cuts, scrapes and the like. Looking around, Unknown found himself inside a hospital, kind of tied to the bed. Beauman was sitting on a pile of coins, in Crysillis fashion, with dollar signs in his eyes. Groggily, Unknown Rabbit croaked. Instantly, a nurse ran in, and told Unknown Rabbit to lie down, as he had a lot of bones broken, and shouldn't exert himself. Beauman, exasperated with all the rules in hospitals, threw a plot hole over the nurse, lodging her in Disguise's latest tileset until it was released. He then got up and walked over to about where Unknown Rabbit's head felt like it was, and asked "how do you feel?".
"Awful. Beauman, is keeping turtles for that sort of purpose even legal?"
"Ummmmmm...... Maybe... probably.... not making any assumptions, of course, but...."
Unknown Rabbit groaned, and went back to sleep, but not before hearing Beauman say something about the show making a lot of cashola for him.
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Last edited by Violet CLM; Dec 11, 2001 at 12:57 AM.
Violet CLM

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Dec 11, 2001, 01:00 AM
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Hehehehehe, Life. Funny. I posted this so people would know I had edited my post. Otherwise, it would remain where it was, instead of being shot to the top of the list until another thread in the War Tavern is posted in, keeping War Stories down until it gets posted in..... Oh, you know what I mean. I hope, anyway. Hehehehehe. Life.
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Dec 11, 2001, 01:33 PM
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Talking Arts and Crafts from Heck, or, Plot Burps

Gobs of gooey glue where strewn across the innards of the beseiged Tavern, which now had a new Infinite Pit to Teh Core of The Planet thanks to Tiny (the old one was getting rather dusty.)
"Heeellppp, meee." Shigeru Miyamoto cried meekly from under a chaotic chasm of cool crazy glue. Unfortunatley, none heard him.
"L-o-v-e-,-T-a-v-e-r-n-e-r-s." Cobra spelled out with a massive marker at the bottom of a huge Get Well card that filled the expanse of the tavern.
"Guys! I've finished writing it, how's the glitter comming?!" Cobra then shouted(She had to because, in order to contain the humongous card, they were all at oppisite ends of the Tavern) up to Kovu, who hung perilously by a tether from the top of the tavern, with a keg of glitter being poured down onto the hideous Arts and Crafts project from the untold dark abyss.
"Alright!" After freeing another volley of glitter, he swiveled around to Gen, who was weilding a pair of hedgeclippers, cutting out the giant poorly drawn redition of Unkownie to be glued upon the card. "What about you?!"
"Almost done!" He then turned to Ducky, who manned a oversized rapid fire hot glue gun.
"How's it comming over thar?!"
Duckieo fired a searing and deadly blot of glue into the general direction of air, because it look really cool as it hurled through space and then crashed into something and melted with a gurgly sound.
"Right on, erm, schedule!"
"Good!" Cobra shouted, hearing everyones reply,"We should be ready to take this over to Unknownie by nightfall! Although, it'd be a lot quicker if there were more people, where is everyone?!"
.......
"I dunno."

He Who Doesn't Know His Name Who, In Actuallity, Doesn't Have A Name, But Hasn't Told Anyone That, Because His Mom Always Called Him Clyde And He Swore From Being An Embryo That He Would Never Accept The Name Clyde, So He Really DOES Have A Name But Doesn't Want It So He Decides To Go On Nameless(HWDKHNWIADHANBHTATBHMACHCAHSFBAETHWNATNCS HRDHANBDWISHDTGON) breifly hiccuped back into conciousness.
"Beau...if I ever regain feeling in my legs, I will hurt you...badly."
"Tha's okay, I'm rich enough to buy a new body anyway."

And Somewhere, a right about now, in a Soup Kitchen not so far away, Freelance lept up from the table, spilling his clam chowder over everything, fired a gun into the ceiling in declaration,
"NOW, From this day forth I shall be known as...Ancoysd!!!Duh Duh DAH NA!!"
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Dec 17, 2001, 07:01 PM
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Meanwhile, at Plotline Hotline, things were getting scary. No posts had been made for quite some time, which endangered the jobs of all the Plotline Hotline workers. Bringing out the Plot-O'-Matic machine, Jim Drab (the host) fed in their predictament on a little slip of paper. The Plot-O'-Matic burped, then ejected a new slip of paper. It read;

Plotline, Hotline, puzzlement you Got Mine, I'm really at a loss.
No plot, Ho plot, solution I do Know not, why don't you ask the boss?

Jim Drab took this as excellect advice, after he had run it through a De-Rhymer brand Translator, so he went to the vaulted realms of Mr. Continuity, the ruler of all plots for the War Tavern. Imagine a mix between Heaven's artwork, Darkness' ideas, J2LC Recharge's colors and NatureRuin's coolness, all merged into one amazing castle, eyecandy flowing so literally you could catch it in a cup and pour it upon your own tilesets, and see them jump into life. That could give you an idea what the realms of Continuity are like, if only in looks. Jim Drab, however, wearing his patented Drabby Glasses saw only the artwork of {ET1}, the ideas of Green Matrix, the colors of Moon Station and the coolness of Simple. This was mainly to contain his emotions, and be able to appear before the great Continuity in a more respectable fashion.

However, when Jim Drab reached the end of his quest, as many Waldos had done before, he saw and said something many have done before. "Ahhhh! Someone killed Mr. Continuity!!!!"


Unknown Rabbit struggled to keep his eyelids open. "Beauman, rest assured, the BACTA FLUIDs are NOT going to like this."
"BACTA FLUIDS?"
"Beaurocrats Against Cruelty To Animals who Furthermore Like Utilizing Investigative Dimwits."
"Oh... So how come when it's a TURTLE getting all chewed up and all you don't mind?"
"I never said that I mind Cannibal Feud.... on the outside, that is."
"Oh, I see. Remind me, why am I even sitting here anyhow? I should probably be selling souveneirs and little action figurines back at the 'Tavern!"


Back to the Future....

The Director of Jurassic Park Something or Other (TDJPSO) was screaming at the cameraman. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, OUR STAR JUST VANISHED INTO THIN AIR, USING ONE OF THE MOST BRILLIANT SPECIAL EFFECTS SEEN IN ALL TIME, AND YOU DIDN'T GET IT ON FILM?!?!?!?!?"
The cameraman, who was not paticularly bright, answered brightly. "I mean our star just vanished into thin air, using one of the most brilliant special effects seen in all time, and I didn't get it on film!"
TDJPSO went from white, to decidedly dark pink, to scarlet, to indigo, to lilac, to lavender and finally all the way to deepest opal before shouting "FIRE THIS IDIOT INSTANTLY!!!!"
Two guards walked over, picked the cameraman up by his armpits and walked him over to a large cannon. He was promptly fired. No sooner had this happened, however, then a human body fell onto the ground in front of TDJPSO, quickly followed by a lot of space junk. Shaking the body, TDJPSO - still in a bad mood - demanded to know where it had come from, where it was going, what was its name and why didn't the vikings beat the spaceships in the famous match during 3076. Groggily, the human body replied.
"I came from Earth, 2001, where I was suddenly snatched to a place called the War Tavern by a man called Beauman. He then took me along with him in some sort of mission involving a Golden Knight and Jurassic Park big number. I'm going to... faint, I think. My name is Shigeru Miyamoto, and I wasn't around in 3076."
"Beauman?!? That interdemensional trouble maker? Film Crew, grab some spaceships with time warps, we're going to the War Tavern, 2001!!!"
It was the costar who asked why. She hadn't been listening, just struggling to breath in the tight outfit required for her part.
"WHY?!? To both get our star back, and apprehend Beauman! WHY ELSE?!?"
"You've got a point there....."


Jim Drab repeated what he had screamed again, to make sure he had gotten it right. Walking over to a large portrait, decorated with pictures of Razz and Snaz upon the frame, Jim repeated an anicent verse with a slight modification. "Mirrow, Mirrow, on the wall, who was the one who made Mr. Continuity fall?"
"Blagagna was the one, that chip off the brick, that son of a gun. He shot and maimed the poor old man, then hurled him through space as fast as he can."
"Mirrow, Mirrow, on the wall, show me the evil one with such gall."
With a movie special effect, the portrait twisted into a moving picture, always focusing on Blagagna. He was currently shooting and maiming and hurling through space the horse of Freelance, now known as Ancosyd. A few minutes later, Blagagna went into the War Tavern, where he was greeted like an old friend by another rabbit.
"Mirrow, Mirrow, tileset maker, who is Blagagna's friend, what namesaker?"
"The one who greats Blagagna in a manner sublime, is the possessor of a name that can simply not rhyme!"
"Mirrow's portrait, all the same, I would be obliged if you would just tell me the name. If you would please stop your rhyming, it may be enough to stop some two timing."
The portrait of Mirrow replied sulkily. "Fine. His name is Kovu."
"He must be an accomplice! KOVU MUST DIE!"
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Dec 18, 2001, 10:45 AM
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The Plot...erm, soy bean based plot substitue, thickens...

"Wait a second...how could the Shigeru Miyamoto guy who is talking to the Jurassic park dude, who I do not know about, be from 2001...since the tavern is in 2770's? Aaand how could Blagagna have killed Mr.Continuity since he appeared with Clockwork and those chaps to avenge Xavier, and Mr.Continuity
was killed early on during our adventure with knifes and the titans...?"
"Mr. Continuity IS dead, you realize." The Mirror said.
"Oh, yah...KILL KOVU!"

"Hey Blagagna, whuz happenen, in da' house, respect, word!" Kovu tried his fake ghettoiey talk on Blagagna as the later walked through the door.
"YOU again! I thought I beat you upside the head earlier."
"Earlier? That was a month ago! But anyway, yah, you did."
"Grunt..." Blagagna, being the idiot that he is and oblivious to the massive Get Better card occupying the space of the Tavern, attempted to go to the bar and get a drink, only to be stopped by Kovu.
"Hey man...can you not see the epicly porportioned Get Well, limited sparkle edition, in theaters only, comming soon, card occupying the room? The Tavern is closed."
"But the sign says open." Blagagna debated.
"No it isn't..."
"Are you bleeding blind?"
"Yes!"
And then Blagagna punched Kovu into a wall.
Suddenly, Jim Drab came riding in with a army of Plotline Hotline employees with really big nasty swords.
"KILL 'EM!"

HWDKHNWIADHANBHTATBHMACHCAHSFBAETHWNATNCS
HRDHANBDWISHDTGON was enjoying a nice, perfectly relaxed nap(Beau had left earlier, and was currently on his way to the Tavern) when a clown busted in.
"AHAH@*&@$@%&%#$*%$#!!!!!"HWDKHNWIADHANBHTATBHMACHCAHSFBAETHWNATNCS
HRDHANBDWISHDTGON shouted, horrified of clowns due to a childhood experiance.
"HEY HEY!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!"
"WAKAKADOODOOYEA!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!"
"PULL MY FINGER!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHH!"
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Violet CLM

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Dec 18, 2001, 09:21 PM
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"Wait a second...how could the Shigeru Miyamoto guy who is talking to the Jurassic park dude,"



I wrote, and I quote:

Kovu walked up to some Neutron Fibers used for keeping the airlock in one piece, and used them as a wig. Shigeru Montoya, or whatever his name is, had been in the airlock at the time. Note that I said had. Sometime, thousands of years in the future, he'll probably drift onto some strange planet. In the meantime, though, Kovu looked quite fashionable.



"who I do not know about, be from 2001...since the tavern is in 2770's?"



You're dealing with different demensions here, remember? Time flows differently.....



"Aaand how could Blagagna have killed Mr.Continuity since he appeared with Clockwork and those chaps to avenge Xavier, and Mr.Continuity was killed early on during our adventure with knifes and the titans...?"



Mr. Continuity was killed many times. This time was mentioned;

"Blagagnga, with loincloth at hand and Waffle at stomach, quickly shot and maimed a nearby dead body and then hurled it through space to Tubelectric. "YOU shot and maimed Mr. Continuity and hurled him through space to Tubelectric and then hurled him through space back here and made him REALLY dead? You're so evil!" shouted Unknown. "Burp." said Blagagnga, looking for more Waffles. Unknown was close to tears, being insane. "What a group! Generation Ex was smashed on the head, the Waffle and the Loincloth were destroyed, they were replaced by a villain who ran away to come back another day, I'm insane and the last member is a worse villain then Kovu! He made Mr. Continuity REALLY dead!" Unknown was always very hyper when it came to Continuity. Meanwhile, Blagagnga walked away in search of more people to shoot and maim and hurl through space."
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Dec 18, 2001, 11:55 PM
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Actually... Shieguru Miyomoto was originally warped to the tavern through one of the plot-holes (which i now copyright, but did not create, just over-use:P). then i warped him back, and then somehow someone warped him back to the tavern... and he was tagging along for some unknown reason...
Note: Shieguru Miyomoto, REMEMBER THAT! Not Montoya or watever
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Kovu aka Alec

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Dec 20, 2001, 07:22 PM
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erm, uh, yes, right...
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Ducky

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Dec 23, 2001, 11:52 AM
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*doesn't know whats happening, so escapes wi' Xavier and styles her hair elf-fashion*







Hmm hmm....
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remember? (:
Kovu aka Alec

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Dec 23, 2001, 01:40 PM
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Recap, and Battle Cries

Well, the big spacy tavern dissapeared, and there was a Cannibal Feud, and Unknownie won but got rather hurt, and is now in hospital. We were making a big get well card, and Freelance chose Acoysnd as his name, and the people at Plotline Hotline want to kill me for associating with Blagagna, who killed Mr.Continuity and caused all the continuity painfulness. And Unknownie was frightened by a clown.

"KILL KOVU!" The Plotline Hotline employees, in super-spiffy battle armour, started hackin' swords and throwing, erm, shooting arrows and causing general mayhem.
"AGH!!" Kovu scrambled for escape from a near certain and rather pointy death.
"FIRE!" Suddenly, everyone in the Tavern retaliated, Ducky firing her glue gun, and Cobra whacking people upside the head with her marker, and Gennie attacking people with his hedgeclippers.
And the Titans(who could've one the battle easily and bloodlessly) just sat there.

Fun, fun fun...
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"We are all Kosh."
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Dec 23, 2001, 02:49 PM
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Also, the cast and crew of Jurassic Park (Large number), who come from the future of earth, are looking for space warp equipped spaceships to go back in time to the War Tavern, and kill/capture Beauman.
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Dec 25, 2001, 06:14 PM
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Special Christmas Continuation!

Ducky rampaged around the War Tavern madly, more intent on defending the giant card then anything else. Anyone near it was quickly glued to nearby furniture, which was being thrown around by others of Jim Drab's left feet attack squad. Firing a steady stream at glue over the chandeleir (which still wasn't there) to keep it from falling, Ducky vaulted over Joe Shmoe's head in order to reach Cobra's side.

Cobra nodded at Ducky as she landed on the nearby ground, and continued smashing Hal Smith on the noodle. "SPHAGETTI!!!" cried Hal, as he sank to the ground. Uni Corny tripped over Smith in a desperate attempt to find Kovu amongst a pile of rafters that had somehow been teleported all the way from Jazz 2 City because of Buster and Gizmo (aka Evil the Cat). Screaming madly about Ryu, Gentry'sEXcapades proceeded to hedgeclip Uni Corny's elegant left shoe to Smithereenies.

Kovu cowered, throwing Pickle Jars at anyone who got close. Ducky was put out of action for a while this way, until she got her fiftieth wind and started shooting glue all over as energetically as ever. GenEX's clippers became a victim of this sticky substance, and he had to start using an electric saw to fend off the Plotline Hotline employees instead.

Blagagagagagagagagagagagagagaggagagagagagagagagaga gagagagagagagna, unnoticed by the horde of fighting bodies, walked out the door into the cool sunset, and jumped into a nearby forest in search of squirrels.

"WANT A BALLOON?!?!?!?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"KIDDIES LOVE MY MOUSETRAPS, JUST ASK THEM!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"YOU KNOW, THE FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED TO ME TODAY....."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"I DIED!!!!!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Unknown Rabbit, as the clown sprawled over, a knife sticking clean through him. And not retractable, either. And then "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" again, as a figure clad entirely in black stepped into the room. Throwing off its hood, the figure revealed itself to be......

Bill Bored, grasping a Billboard, started smashing GenuineEXtraterrestial over the head with it, all the time avoiding the Electric Saw. Gen, in panic, teleported to a distant plan- and didn't come back until the fight was over. Noticing the disappearance, Ducky fired her limitless glue faster then ever, and Cobra ran about like a whirlwind bashing people. "The Marker of Doom", the Plotline Hotline employees later called it. Some of them still have drawings on their foreheads. Kovu, meanwhile, had been scouting around under his hiding place, and had found a trapdoor.

Somehow opening it, Kovu crawled through a dark and dirty tunnel until he came to a dark and dirty door at the dark and dirty end of the (you know the drill) tunnel. Sneezing twice, Kovu used a fancy karate kick and the door exploded outwards. Stepping into a corridor, Kovu looked around. This place had all the appearance of a hospital, but no one was around. Looking into a room, Kovu gasped. All the paitents were dead, and there was a nurse slumped over one of the tables! This has to be a set for a movie. thought Kovu, and ran back to the door he had come through. However, he found the tall figure of ANTI-TUBBS blocking the way. Shivering, Kovu inquired
"What are you doing here? Why is everybody dead? Do you like my hat?"
in an inquiring voice. ANTI-TUBBS laughed, and graciously replied.
"I am here to start my quest of capturing all the 'Taverners! Once this is done, Tubbs will be forced to surrender to me! If he does not, ALL SHALL DIE!!!!! Everybody is dead because I felt like it. Your hat is terrible."
Kovu started to cry. He loved his hat. Breaking down, Kovu sagged against the wall, and cried himself to sleep. ANTI-TUBBS picked him up, threw him over his shoulder, and left the hospital. (for such it was) Throwing Kovu into the back of his van, along with DDay, Beauman, Fquist, Fire Sword, SlaYer and Kazooie, ANTI-TUBBS donned a black outfit for spooky movie type purposes, and walked to the room where Unknown Rabbit was being terrified by a clown. Throwing a knife into the clown, ANIT-TUBBS grabbed the still screaming rabbit, bed and all, and carried him away to the van's trunk. Laughing, ANTI-TUBBS drove away, keeping an eye out for Taverners. And Tubbs.

Suddenly, there was a break in the fighting. Everyone, from Ducky to Jim Drab, Cobra to a little mouse who was going unnoticed was panting and taking a break. Because of this, GenEX was forced to reappear. Apparently, he had been thinking, so he said "Why are you here and trying to destroy everything, anyway?"
"WE WANT KOVU! HE ASSISTED IN THE MURDER OF MR. CONTINUITY!"
Thinking fast, GenEX said "Sure, why not? No big loss. He was boring, anyway." Walking over to the pile of rafters, before Ducky or Cobra could stop him, GenEX used his annoying psychic powers to blast aside the rubble. Everyone gasped. There was nothing there!
Jim Drab was the first to believe he knew what was going on. "FIENDS! YOU SEEK TO HIDE HIM, AND THEN PRETEND YOU KNOW NOT OF HIS WHEREABOUTS! EMPLOYEES, REATTACK!"
Groaning, the Plotline Hotline employees started trying to rip everything to shreds again, while Ducky and Cobra recontinued gluing and whacking them. GenEX retrieved his Electric Saw and was about to teleport away again, when Ahz Sleep cracked him on the head with a two by four. GenEX slumped to the ground.

The cast and crew of Jurassic Park jumped into timeships, and blasted off, leaving notes for their mothers telling them not to worry. They might be back for dinner unless they met a terrible fate and died horribly.
The director's ship flew in the lead, leading the fleet of timeships. Once they were all pointing in the general direction it would take to get to the War Tavern, in the past. (The past of the future is the present, remember?) Turning on the time warp easter eggs, the C&CJP (Cast And Crew of Jurassic Park) blasted off. The journey took no time at all, as they were going back in time the whole way. Landing, C&CJP turned on their Beauman radars and chased after ANTI-TUBBS' truck.

ANTI-TUBBS, looking in his rear-view mirror, noticed a large army of humans chasing his truck on.... motor scooters. The scooters were much faster then his van, and they were obviously trying to stop him, so his only choice was to do some evasive maneuvers. Turning onto a dirt road, the ANTI-TUBBS van (Tm) careened over bridges and through fields. The motor scooters followed, using their radar to find out which way Beauman (in the back of the trunk) had went. Finally, giving up, ANTI-TUBBS resolved that if he couldn't have his prisoners, NO ONE ELSE COULD EITHER!!!! Pushing the pedal to the medal, ANTI-TUBBS drove his van straight at a cliff edge. Amazingly, the wheels caught on a rock, and ANTI TUBBS and all his captives in the trunk went flying out of the van....


over hill and dale....


straight into the open door of the War Tavern. Undaunted, the C&CJP's scooters continued to follow, right inside.


Beauman looked around, in a dazed sense. Him, DDay, Fquist, Fire Sword, SlaYer, Kazooie, Ducky, Cobra, Kovu and GenEX were trapped in a dark corner of the War Tavern. At the main door, an army of futuristic filmmakers stood, shouting "GIVE US THE GOLDEN KNIGHT, ALIVE! GIVE US BEAUMAN, DEAD OR ALIVE!" At the entrance to the basement and his shop, ANTI-TUBBS glowered, trying to piece together a do it yourself easy assembly BIG BAZOOKA. Guarding the only trapdoor in the whole place were a bunch of boring looking people, undoubtably Plotline Hotline people shouting "WE WANT KOVU! WE WANT KOVU! AND BLAGAGNA!". ANTI-TUBBS, not to mention the two groups, started advancing towards the 'Taveners, who were huddled. Cobra's marker had been snatched away in the fight, and was being weilded by a muscled cameo appearance maker from Jurassic Park. Ducky's Glue Gun was out of glue, GenEX's Electric Saw had been broken in two, Beauman was out of plotholes, Batty Buddy wasn't there with or withous his backpack and Unknown Rabbit was still in bandages, unable to do much. It all seemed hopeless, thought Beauman, as Jim Drab aimed a Boremaster 3000 at Kovu.....







INTERMISSION:



Ancosyd walked into the "Superheros in Need of Work" office. The receptionist raised her eyebrows. "You again? This is the sixth time this week you've been here, and it's tuesday!"
"I just need a job. It's in my blood. I want to fight evil warlords, vanquish henchman! I WANT TO BE A WORLDWIDE BEST SELLER!!!"
"You know, I think we might have an opening... how would you like to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts?"







BACK TO THE STORY:



Ducky brightened. All the War Tavern frequenters except Ducky and Unknown Rabbit turned to her, as she spoke the words that saved them from a number of deaths.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS! NO MORE FIGHTING! PEACE AND GOODWILL!"

And everyone agreed, and everybody started dancing except for Unknown Rabbit, who lay slumped against a wall in bandages, examining his get well card. After a while, Beauman went into his shop and got out a plothole, and stuck it on the roof. Presents for all rained out, and there was much rejoicing.

Then Alantrium (Ze Golden Knight, no?) fell through, and the C&CJP went away, thanking the 'Taverners for an enjoyable evening.

Ducky showed ANTI-TUBBS it was much more fun to be a good doer then an evil doer, so he went and got jobs at some publishing companies, and kept dropping various hints about JJ3 until he was fired for eating the opposition's favorite flavor donut instead of their own. ANTI-TUBBS then went to the opposition, which paid better, and continued dropping hints about JJ3.
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Dec 25, 2001, 06:19 PM
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Kovu explained slowly to Jim Drab and Co. that he had only been waving to Blagagna as a way to wave him away, so he wouldn't interfere with the greetings card, and that they hated eachother anyway. Jim and his cohorts were satisfied, so they went charging out the door in search of Blagagna. They might even find him some day. Who knows?

The Titans, who could have saved all the Taverners with ease if they had felt like it meaning that Ducky had had to bring up Christmas, lounged around in various positions. They could care less what was going on.






Aaaaaaaaand a new plot is needed. Sorry I destroyed all the old ones at once, but they were mine anyway.


----------------------------------------------------------------


Sorry for the double post, but my first one exceeded the maximum number of characters.
Kovu aka Alec

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Dec 27, 2001, 04:31 PM
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Darn it, Unknownie! Ahwell...I have a idea

Ancoysnd lept about, walking down the hallway in Opposition Publishing Co. Inc.
He was to be the superhero in there new superhero flagship, the AMAZING GUY! And his producer was some guy named Mr. Ante Tubbes.
Oddly, the name sounded familiar.
*knock knock*
"Erm, hello, Mr. Oddly Familiar sounding Ante Tubbes, 'tis me, the AMAZING GUY, ready for issue 1."
"Excellent, come in." Ancoysnd(aka Lance aka the AMAZING GUY)
strode in. Instantly, Mr. Ante Tubbes(aka ANTI-TUBBS) recognized him as Lance from the Tavern. Then, as he chomped down on his opposition doughnut, an idea formed.
"Ah, good, just have a seat, I'll be right back." Ancoysnd complied, and ANTI-TUBBS delved into the closet, and found...
"Excellent, thease glasses which I purchased from Beauman at his shop, almost two months a go now, which make normal people seem like vile, villanous monsters, give me the perfect plan..."
"Erm, did j00 say something, sir?"
"Ahm, no...listen, put thease on, they'll bring together you're entire costume.
"Erm, okay." Ancoysnd grabbed the glasses and placed them on."
"Okay, here is where you must fight you're first battle, go right away...and don't look at anyone on the way." ANTI-TUBBS handed Ancoysnd a piece of paper.
"Hmm, 122 War Tavern Road...that too is oddly familiar sounding...ahwell, thanks publisher ANTE-TUBBES man."
And so, in a puff of pepperoni and theme music, Ancoysnd aka Lance aka the AMAZING GUY flew off, and ANTI-TUBBS cackled evilly.
"MWAHA, now, he will go to the tavern and defeat his friends, mwaha....gawh, why am I saying everything I'm thinking so anybody can hear..." ANTI-TUBBS stated, again, as three former Plotline Hotline now Opposition Publishing Co. Inc. employees huddled around his door.
"We can't let this happen...they told us where Blagagna was..."

TEH POLT TICHKENS!!!
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"And so it begins."
"If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die."
"We are all Kosh."
-Kosh, Babylon 5
Ducky

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Dec 30, 2001, 05:55 PM
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I was ALMOST understanding this... until...

That small post by Unknownie after the long one by Unknownie.
Yeah.


Okay...so ...

I would um...

reply...

but.... I need enlightenment

~Duckaaay
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remember? (:
VelKa

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Dec 30, 2001, 08:59 PM
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uhhh....want some Twinkies? they enlighten anyone. =P
Kovu aka Alec

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Dec 31, 2001, 05:52 AM
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Eer, enlightenment, I like mints...

Well, all the Plotline Hotline and JP fellows flew away 'cause o' Christmas and ANTI-TUBBS worked at a publishing company until he ate the opposition doughnut and went tot he opposition publishing company. And Ancoysnd is looking for job openings in the Super Hero field.
And, it just so happens, that ANTI-TUBBS becomes Ancoysnd(now the AMAZING GUY) manager, thinks up a plot, give him a set of glasses which makes allies look like vile hideous monsters which he purchased from Beauman, and told him to go to the Tavern...
However, all this was overheard by former Plotline Hotline Employees...
__________________
"And so it begins."
"If you go to Za'Ha'Dum, you will die."
"We are all Kosh."
-Kosh, Babylon 5
 

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