Aug 22, 2001, 05:53 AM | |
By the way................I CLAIM 7TH PAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my god why is this story so long?
Rumbo ![]()
__________________
'With his father dead and his life as confusing as TIME itself, he stood independantly with his blaster and sword by his side. He was going to save the world, no doubt about it...' |
Aug 22, 2001, 04:12 PM | |
oh honestly, I could think of better more logical attacks than that, much simpler and efficent too...
Great story, a bit lacking... and it's unfair you get seventh page... but great story.
__________________
"We're like a human in a 13 billion lightyear universe." -Anaiyu |
Aug 22, 2001, 10:04 PM | |
I can
|
Sep 4, 2001, 08:53 AM | |
Very neato! Go continue!
|
Sep 4, 2001, 02:03 PM | |
Ok Im gonna finish off the future lot real quick as I have to finish this...
Sorry if its been lacking ill put in my all now. Defalcon, Ax Man and Unknown reached the tower and saw a gigantic metal door that appeared to be about 300 feet tall. It glistened in the midnight shimmer that came from a dark and dreary moon that shone above their weary heads. They were scared of what they could face through that door. Maybe thousands upon thousands of robots or even worse Nebula himself. The didn't want to think about it. They just didn't want to know. 'Do we go in?' Ax Man said, panting with worry and exhaustion. 'We must,' Defalcon said, 'destiny lies beyond that door, OUR destiny.' 'Only ours?' Unknown asked. 'No, every rabbit on Carrotus.' They all became silent as they heard the door loudly creek open, slowly, continuously as if the door was never to fully open in time for them. It was up to Ax Man to push the door open more. Pressing his hand on the door made it glimmer with bright colours, like ripples of water all around his paw print. 'Wait!' Unknown said. 'No, leave him...' Defalcon said, 'he is the first to follow his destiny.' Defalcon knew what was beyond that gate. what would lie there in wait for them. As the door opened more Defalcon pointed behind them and made Unknown see the reailty of their true situation. As the robots ran towards them they started to flicker and then freeze in one position, slowly beginning to fade until nothing was left. Once all the robots had been deserted the cargo ship itself and everything on board did the same. 'Whats happening?' Unknown asked. 'Keep watching...' Defalcon said, 'you are beginning to believe.' 'Believe what?' 'The truth of nonexistence...' 'I don't get it...' Suddenly something wonderful happened. Ax Man opened the door wide enough for them to see directly through to the other side. They saw open fields, hilly terrain, sunshine on trees thats leaves shone green as they gently whisped through the wind. The sky was blue, nothing was wrong, everything was at peace. 'What is this?' Ax Man said, not knowing that everything behind them, the robots, the cargo ship, the ENTIRE WORLD was fading. All that was left was them three standing there, staring at what was beyond that door. 'Defalcon...' Unknown started. 'That is the Carrotus we know...the Old Carrotus that we want. We have to bring this back to the real world.' 'Where are we?' Ax Man asked, 'this isn't the future...?' 'This isn't anything, Ax Man. I understand the prophecy now and Rumbo knows it is true. He knows how to defeat Nebula.' 'Where are we Defalc?' Unknown said desperately. 'We are in the TIME stone. When we sent ourselves to the future, which we designated from where the robots were coming from, I was weary at first of whether there was a Nebula future. If there was then that would mean our failure. But we have no failure. For as long as Old Carrotus exists, we exist. Now we have found it.' 'What do we do now?' Ax Man said, wondering whether to be happy or curious. 'We have to head back...' 'But how?' Unknown asked him. 'I'll show you...' Defalcon said, stepping through the tower into the Old Carrotus world. He could feel the grass patching and winding through his toes and fur. He could smell his home again. 'Follow me,' he said as he stepped in. Once the others were in he told them more about what was happening, 'Nebula hid Old Carrotus in a fictional world to hide us from the truth. He used the TIME stone to create a world within itself to try and confuse us. This is TIME stone's world that we are in. But because it is the TIME stone we can control what we see. I have therefore enabled us all to see our home, which has been buried within the TIME stone. If we lead everyone here we will get back to our own world. 'So you said that Rumbo knows how to defeat Nebula.' Unknown pondered, 'How then?' 'Rumbo knew the prohecy of the TIME stone was true. You cannot change a world, you can merely recreate one from an old world, ie New Carrotus from Old Carrotus. That means that our old world has always existed, we just didn't know where it was.' 'So how is he going to defeat Nebula? Answer the question!' Ax Man said with low tolerance. 'He's going to recreate a world where he can trap Nebula, using the TIME stone and trap him there, like Nebula tried to trap us within New Carrotus.' 'But we found a way out so couldn't Nebula?' 'No, because Rumbo's going to make sure that Nebula ever existed.' 'How?' 'You'll find out, friends, soon enough...' _________________ 'With his father dead and his life as confusing as TIME itself, he stood independantly with his blaster and sword by his side. He was going to save the world, no doubt about it...' |
Sep 4, 2001, 05:12 PM | ||
Quote:
Why am I nitpicking? Why don't I just leave already? ![]() ![]() |
Sep 5, 2001, 04:30 AM | |
Hmm... Can't wait more!!
But story is GOOD! Rating: 10/10 points!
__________________
Wazz Wackrabbit "Stupid Fighter.. must destroy.. evil is good...mmm, pie." ~Black Mage. "Hellooooo Black Mage!" ~White Mage "Mrph..Is that you pie?" ~BM "No, silly. It's me. Woman of your dreams." ~WM "A woman made entirely out of pie?" ~BM (This is from FF1 8-Bit Theatre comic) ![]() >MY PICTURE IS INCOMING SOON< Under Scarry Sarry's pen |
Sep 5, 2001, 08:12 AM | |
Rumbo Phew! Luckilly I altered the mistake! _________________ 'With his father dead and his life as confusing as TIME itself, he stood independantly with his blaster and sword by his side. He was going to save the world, no doubt about it...' |
Sep 6, 2001, 10:59 AM | |
Rumbo and Talec headed to the warp drive. As they reached it Rumbo began to feel something pure inside him. Defalcon was calling to him, giving him this sensation of.... 'Old Carrotus...' Rumbo said, closing his eyes and breathing in deeply, letting it out of his mouth. 'They have found it?' Talec said, continuing to drive toward the warp drive. Once they were close enough they stopped and went off their hovercrafts and walked towards the drive. 'Does it mean that the prophecy is true?' Talec asked Rumbo.' 'Indeed it is...I know how to beat Nebula now...' 'Freeze him inside the TIME stone?' 'Create a world within the TIME stone that only TIME can open. He is on my side I feel him within me...' '...i shall help thee, rumbo...' TIME spoke to Rumbo, not to Talec. He couldn't hear TIME's voice any longer. 'So we head through the drive and see where it leads...' Talec added. 'Yes...we go now...' Talec and Rumbo stepped up to the drive and stood watching it, standing side by side. The whirling sound of the warp echoed through their ears and propelled them backwards from the tiny wind coming from it. 'Our destiny awaits...' Talec said 'Carrotus has its destiny beyond this warp.' Rumbo added. 'TIME and space are on our side.' 'But the creator is not.' 'We must go now.' 'Go...we must.' They walked into the warp drive, unaware of where they would be heading. They found out soon enough. 'Now we must wait...' Defalcon said as he finished sending his feelings through to Rumbo. 'So now what?' Ax Man asked, 'we wait here?' 'There must be something that we can do...' Unknown said. 'Maybe there is...' a voice said to them, somewhat familiar yet rare. The three rabbits slowly turned round and saw noneother then... 'Hell's Angel!' Ax Man said proudly. 'Get your weapons together, boys,' Angel said, holding a very nifty M16, 'we've got a revolution to revolt!'
__________________
'With his father dead and his life as confusing as TIME itself, he stood independantly with his blaster and sword by his side. He was going to save the world, no doubt about it...' |
Sep 7, 2001, 03:26 AM | |
Keep workin'!
'Nuf said. *warps out
__________________
Wazz Wackrabbit "Stupid Fighter.. must destroy.. evil is good...mmm, pie." ~Black Mage. "Hellooooo Black Mage!" ~White Mage "Mrph..Is that you pie?" ~BM "No, silly. It's me. Woman of your dreams." ~WM "A woman made entirely out of pie?" ~BM (This is from FF1 8-Bit Theatre comic) ![]() >MY PICTURE IS INCOMING SOON< Under Scarry Sarry's pen |
Sep 12, 2001, 02:55 PM | |
Wish you were taking joiners. . .
Great story, RuxOr!!!!!123 Continue!
__________________
"I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me." ~Phillipians 4:13 "Whatever." ~Coppertop There's a fine line between Good and Evil. . . read Conquests to find out why. "Only Death keeps a secret. . . ." -Zazz Darkfist |
Sep 21, 2001, 10:56 PM | |
Rumbo and Talec headed into the warp drive...arriving where the others had travelled towards, Nebula's tower. This was it, the final showdown.
They landed with a thud in the middle of a large living room somewhere half way up the tower. The walls were lined with pictures of Nebula in his different forms, plus his interpretation of the future, one that undoubtedly doesn't exist. There were three leather sofas which neither Rumbo or Talec trusted, and two doors of exit to choose from. They heard shuffling from behind one of the sofas. 'Friend or foe!' Talec shouted out to them. One of them recognised the voice, 'Talec, is it really you?' Suddenly from behind the sofa came Splash and Coppertop, who was shaking with nerves and wondering who was there. When they saw who was standing there their eyes instantly lit up. Their hero was still alive. 'Rumbo!' Coppertop shouted 'Yeah man, yeah!' Splash said to him, flying a little with his rocket pack. They ran over to him and shked his hand. Then from the sofa came Nobara, who stood up and looked at them both. She walked over to them and kissed them both on the cheek. Rumbo and Talec blushed badly. 'Ahem,' Talec said, 'we have got a job to do...' 'Talec take them to the top and save the world, would ya?' 'Rumbo?' 'Just do it Talec I have a job to do, one that coincides with what you must do.' 'Rumbo you're not making any sense,' Splash said to him. 'Look just get to the top, ok? You'll meet the past team another third of the way up. Join them and continue upwards. I will meet with you again I promise. Tell Jelze and the others that I am ok.' 'Ok mac,' Coppertop said, 'just do what you've gotta do.' 'I will, Nobara, I will.' And with that Rumbo Renegade Rabbit disappeared into TIME, heading towards another part of the world where he would find only one thing... The TIME stone. |
Sep 21, 2001, 11:57 PM | |
r0x0rz as long you continue!
Can't wait continiuation...
__________________
Wazz Wackrabbit "Stupid Fighter.. must destroy.. evil is good...mmm, pie." ~Black Mage. "Hellooooo Black Mage!" ~White Mage "Mrph..Is that you pie?" ~BM "No, silly. It's me. Woman of your dreams." ~WM "A woman made entirely out of pie?" ~BM (This is from FF1 8-Bit Theatre comic) ![]() >MY PICTURE IS INCOMING SOON< Under Scarry Sarry's pen |
Sep 22, 2001, 02:22 PM | |
Would you prefer he wrote himself out of the story?
|
Sep 23, 2001, 09:23 AM | |
Spot the mistake in the last story extract. The first person to spot it and say wins a prize! Can somebody alter it for me pls.
Rumbo |
Sep 23, 2001, 07:49 PM | ||
Quote:
Heheh, I'm not sure if all those are right though... _________________ Even randoms have logic in them. It always seems that everybody that you need to say yes says no, and that you always think of the greatest thing 3 minutes after it's actually needed. Why persist? Becuase, someday you'll get it right. |
Sep 24, 2001, 07:39 AM | |
No offence but people who critisise my work (that probably spelt wrong) **** me off. If you want perfection go and buy a novel.
Rumbo
__________________
'With his father dead and his life as confusing as TIME itself, he stood independantly with his blaster and sword by his side. He was going to save the world, no doubt about it...' |
Sep 24, 2001, 07:42 AM | |
Erm...sorry Kaz I so apologise I forgot about what I had previously written. Besides I only asked for one, which was the last one lol
*blushes* But in future can people stop telling me what is wrong with my work, for example Unknown (and don't deny it!) Rumbo
__________________
'With his father dead and his life as confusing as TIME itself, he stood independantly with his blaster and sword by his side. He was going to save the world, no doubt about it...' |
Nov 28, 2001, 08:16 PM | |
We want more. Now.
|
Jan 9, 2002, 07:39 AM | |
Im back!
Im gonna start writing this soon, again, AND finish it. there isnt far to go on it...
Btw go to... http://communities.msn.com/ExtremeNothingness and see my story in the writers circle that I am going to write soon... Hope you like the final conclusion... Rumbo Rabbit
__________________
'With his father dead and his life as confusing as TIME itself, he stood independantly with his blaster and sword by his side. He was going to save the world, no doubt about it...' |
Jan 9, 2002, 07:44 AM | |
Yay, thanks for returning! n_n Okay, post da thing!
![]() EDIT: Unfortunately, nothing seems to BE in the Writers' Circle... *sigh* too bad. EDIT AFTER FOLLOWING MESSAGE: Oh, ok. Well, I'm prepared. ![]() ![]() Last edited by DDay; Jan 9, 2002 at 11:34 AM. |
Jan 9, 2002, 11:13 AM | |
...
Thats cause its not in yet. Check it soon ill write a little note about it..
Rumbo
__________________
'With his father dead and his life as confusing as TIME itself, he stood independantly with his blaster and sword by his side. He was going to save the world, no doubt about it...' |
Jan 9, 2002, 12:41 PM | |
In case you want to know, Story Central is pretty much - well, there's only one word for it - dead.
|
«
Previous Thread
|
Next Thread
»
Thread Tools | |
|
|