INTRO

Hey, I don’t like running ToU. It’s fun when you guys make progress, but you all suck. Regardless, none of the other DMs wanted to do this and I promised Risp I’d start the new thread yesterday. But, on the bright side, I have a NEW feature that will let me write less. So, without further adieu…

Welcome, friend, foe, and forumer to what will be hopefully be the last installment of Tales of Uberbob! Tales of Uberbob is a FUN (for you, generally not me) game where YOU supply the actions and I (if it wasn’t already capitalized it would be for emphasis) provide the story! For instance, if Uberbob is in a room with a box, you might say “lick box”, “pick up box”, or anything in between. You can even leave the room, if there is an exit that way! Some base rules:

Only Radium narrates. It’s his story. You just give commands. No using bold, either. It makes it confusing.
GOOD: Walk through the green door.
BAD: Shuriken walks through the green door.

No deciding the consequences to actions. My story. Not yours.
GOOD: Open the box.
BAD: Open the box and find a gun.

No if/then statements or macros. They make you miss important stuff. Making creative macros to solve puzzles with mass trial and error is cheating.
GOOD: Is the key in the door?
BAD: If there’s a key in the door, open it. Otherwise, find a key then open it.

No changing the point of view. It changes on its own.
GOOD: I am not changing the point of view!
BAD: Change POV to Uberbob!

No doing stuff just to (-) me off.
GOOD: Everyone do something or other logical.
BAD: Everyone line up from north to south.



WHERE WE LEFT OFF

So, let’s have an introduction of where we left off. Uberbob and company were searching for the evil dreadlord Blackraptor who lives deep below the frozen Isle of Darkness. On their journey they killed lots of things and met lots of people, eventually traveling deep below the aforementioned frozen Isle of Darkness. However, they encountered a particularly peculiarly perplexing puzzle below the island - a puzzle that has lead to their deaths multiple times. Will they ever be able to solve it and finish their quest? YOU DECIDE!

Feel free to join in if you haven’t been playing in the previous threads or have completely lost what’s going on. Brief descriptions of the battle system and characters are available at the links below:
http://www.foxmage.com/u/fighting.html
http://www.foxmage.com/u/characters.html

Also, if you want, check in on the previous threads:
Part 1: From Uberbob's nonsensical introduction to finding Unfooruman's Lair.
Part 2: Unfooruman's Lair.
Part 3: From the battle with Unfooruman to Blackraptor's Lair.
The no-radiums-allowed strategy thread for battles.

I had this uncanny feeling I had been here before. This room looked terribly familiar, with a row of magical runes written up the walls and across the ground and ceiling. Surely this was partly due to us having encountered similar set of runes in Unfooruman’s citadel. In the case of his citadel, the runes were enchanted so you could only cross them one way - ideal for trapping people. A cold wind blew through the tunnel, and I could see frost growing on the walls in the distance. No doubt Araches would start complaining about the cold again soon.
“Archmage Fooruman,” I addressed the wizard, who was sitting in his canoe and staring at the wall. I was glad he idling, because the sound of someone rowing a canoe over a stone floor got very annoying. “You’re a wizard. Can you tell me what these runes do?”
The old man in a purple dress looked down at his body, staring in amazement. “By the ultimate Foo… I AM A WIZARD!”
“Yes... yes you are. And those runes-”
“Begone, green nonwizard dog,” he said, jabbing me in the ribs with a canoe oar. I thought about jabbing him back with my spear, but starting a conflict with my own allies was the last thing we needed right now. Though if he used Uberbob’s term “green dog” again, I just might have to.
I slowly shuffled towards the front of the party, next to L33tz4n. If I moved fast, maybe I could be in charge for a while.

… I was starting to notice that we lacked a real leader, though. I hadn’t even entered the lair and could tell we were as good as screwed.

Inventory

Examine inventory.
Step across the threshold of DOOM.

I took a look at my inventory. My trusty (and more elaborate, after the upgrade) metal spear was still there, as was the first aid kit Uberbob had given me long ago. I still had a sketchbook for practicing my art in, and had managed to keep it hidden from the kleptomaniac rabbit thus far. For some reason, I had a lock of Fooruman’s hair - I forgot why and how I came across this. The deck of tarot cards and book of Canadian runes I had received on the surface of the island were still with me, as were the fax and machine pieces from the Birdclaw mansion. The only thing that was missing was my Compass Rose - evidently, it just couldn’t handle going Dennis.

Well, there was an easy way to find out what the runes did. I took a deep breath and stepped across them. I felt a short rushing feeling, like I was being propelled forward, then the normal unexcitement of adventuring again.
"It’s just another one-way door," I said across the barrier. They didn’t seem to hear me. Uberbob waved frantically, and mouthed something that looked like "can you breathe".

Odd.

Signal to the others to come over.

"Yes, I can breathe."

I think I'll put the pic at the end. It works better there.

"Yes, I can breathe," I responded, but they still couldn't hear me. Uberbob mouthed something that looked like "how high is the pie."
"Uberbob," L33tz4n said, tapping him on the shoulder, "if it’s a one-way gate, he can hear us fine."
"Oh. Cool. Can you really, Faw?" he asked. I shook my head. I wanted to enjoy his silence a bit longer.
After a while, as I pretended to be checking the walls for traps or fish or whatever, I signaled for the rest of the party to cross.
"Whew, hello, can you hear me now?" Uberbob asked when he got across. I shook my head again, and he went back to mouthing something or other to me. I wasn’t really paying attention.
We went down the hallway for a bit until we came to a new room. The walls were made from what looked like ice and the ceiling stretched in an enormous dome overhead. Four doors lined the walls of the room, with an elaborate fountain in the center. Oddly, the water in the fountain didn't appear to be freezing. The entire room was illuminated by a glowing sphere atop the fountain. It was quite beautiful. No doubt Uberbob or someone would try to pull it off. There were some cracks and scratches in the walls and floor, but they looked to be long frozen over.
"Wow..." L33tz4n said as she entered the room.
"Yeah," Araches added, “classy for a deathtrap."
Fooruman looked preoccupied. "Something dark lurks deep within these wonton withered walls…"
"Wonton withered walls? That doesn’t even make sen-"
"SILENCE!" he bellowed, grabbing my shoulders and pointing in a direction. For a split second I could’ve sworn I saw something moving, but it could’ve just been my mind playing tricks on me. "FEEL the music, Beethoven!" I shook the senile old man off and gave his canoe a kick, sending it skidding across the icy floor.

North. Preferably without Uberbob.

Oh, and I just realized that Radium forgot to mention this, but for those of you who know the general shape of this puzzle, Radium rotated it 90 degrees because otherwise that one room with the pit wouldn't work graphically.

Bring L33tz4n and Shuri, and tell Uberbob to go West.

Originally Posted by Risp_old

Oh, and I just realized that Radium forgot to mention this, but for those of you who know the general shape of this puzzle, Radium rotated it 90 degrees because otherwise that one room with the pit wouldn't work graphically.

Oh.


In that case, East instead.

Also, if anyone from the old thread wants to summarize the headway made so far in this puzzle, it would probably help.


Splitting up to cover more ground felt like a good idea. "Shuri, L33tz4n, you and I go east. Uberbob, you go west." The rabbit saluted and ran back to the west.
"What about us?" Araches asked, gesturing to herself and Fooruman.
"Stay here and make sure nothing bad happens."
L33tz4n, Shuri, and I walked through the large door to the east. The walls fell away, revealing a seemingly bottomless abyss to our left and right. The sound of unseen wind echoed through the empty space, and the frozen walkway below us glowed with an ominous light. At the end, an inscription was carved into the wall. I carefully crossed the platform to examine it. I read it aloud to L33tz4n and Shuri.

time passes as one approaches the end
a step forward can take any form
outside it matters that face of the commands stay constant
there is no reason at all to be on the edge of caution
before you move, the point is simply to face left

Below it was a carving in the ice.



"What do you think it means?" L33tz4n asked.
"I guess it's a riddle. Or bad poetry."

Notice how NE and SW rooms are related. SW has a raindrop and a triangle, while NE has a needle and a pyramid. Both the needle and the raindrop have got one sharp edge, and a pyramid is composed of triangles. Same goes for NW and SE: NW has two tetrahedrons which could relate to SE's pyramid. It has a cube, which could also relate to the flat square in SE. NW also has a cylinder, which could relate to SE's sphere. Obviously the crystal from the sleepbag, the fountain water and the carving also have some impact on this puzzle, and it shouldn't be too hard to figure them out...

---

Also:

time passes as one approaches the end

No idea what this means, will try to figure out later.

a step forward can take any form

"form" could possibly relate to how this the key elements have the form of geometric figures.

outside it matters that face of the commands stay constant

Also didn't clear this one out yet...

there is no reason at all to be on the edge of caution

"on the edge of caution" could be the edge of a crystal room (the entrance). Go into a crystal room and examine the ceiling if it is fully covered with steel spikes?

before you move, the point is simply to face left

Spin (not move!) the pointy edges of figures to the left?

---

And also,


The three vital points of the carving is the lock, the smaller square (could be a door?) and the pointy thing. It could be very well an arrow, but also it could be tetrahedron or a pyramid (or both?). One thing which doesn't make much sense are the bigger squares, which are abound. Hmm...

^{don't blame me rad, I TRIED to draw a tetrahedron}

W, S, shake sleeping bag until Gem Thing falls out. W, put Gem Thing in room.

Yeah, this is a macro, but this is redoing stuff so it should be okay.

hey no macros )=. If I want to make this easy for new players to join, skipping two rooms doesn't help.

okfine )=

W, S, then. Hopefully that doesn't count as a macro.

Yay! New ToU!

Originally Posted by Radium back in Part 3 (before we died twice)

The occasional scratch in the walls made it look like something had been etched into them at one time, but had since frozen over, likely by magic.

Hmph.

Does Uberbob still have the ice tools?

I'm thinking of going W and trying to get the glowing sphere off the fountain...

We already tried that. 's impossible.

I think Uberbob lost the tools, but I'm not sure. I think you guys already tried beating through the walls with all manner of things, though.

I led L33tz4n and Shuri back to the fountain room and through the south doorway. Here was what appeared to be the remains of a campsite; a half fallen down (or half set up, depending on our attitude) tent was off to the side with a backpack and some scattered snackfoods nearby. Perhaps most disturbing, though, was the skeleton in the corner of the room. Its bones had been picked clean and it was missing its head. The giant frozen-over crack in the ice next to it didn't make it any less creepy. Two more doors were to the east and west, each with a bright light coming from them.
"I guess we weren't the first ones here," L33tz4n concluded.
"I'm hoping we're currently the ONLY ones here," I added.

Try not to scream.

Sorry if we've already tried this, but what about using the ice carving as a map? If the triangle is pointing to the ice wall the carving is on, that would mean theres a hidden southern exit here.

The caving doesn't seem to be a map; this puzzle is shaped like an H with a line through it.

Go inside the tent and look through it.

I was going to draw a nice mini internal view of the fallen down tent, but then my computer died The Final Death and now I have to make a new one and reinstall Jasc.

I could hear a voice in the back of my head telling me not to scream in terror at my situation. It was quite strange, considering I wasn't even considering screaming. I decided to name this little piece of my subconscious Canti, because it seemed like a good name. "Don't worry Canti, I'm brave. I'm not going to scream" I consoled it.
I poked my head into the tent to look around. The only thing of interest was a warm, fluffy feeling sleeping bag. I was contemplating snuggling with it for a while when I felt something hard inside. I reached in and removed an irregularly shaped crystal of some kind. It was translucent blue and looked like it was made from the same icy material as the room was. I took the crystal and bag both back out with me.
"What do you make of this?" I asked the girls.
L33tz4n took a look at the crystal. "It looks like it's made from the same material as the cave. Maybe it's a piece to this puzzle?"
"I think it's a rock. It looks like the cave because we found it in the cave," Shuri suggested.
"I changed my mind," L33tz4n said, "Shuri's probably right."
I looked carefully at the crystal. Something about it told me it was important, and I was just looking at it wrong.



Inventory

Okay, here goes.

N, E. Look at carving through crystal. Look at Leetzan through crystal.

I would ask you to examine the gem, but there probably isn't any point to it.

Originally Posted by Risp_old

I would ask you to examine the gem, but there probably isn't any point to it.

Well, it can't hurt.

Examine the gem.

Something about it told me it was important, and I was just looking at it wrong.

Important!



Consider fishing.

Originally Posted by Canti3000

Consider fishing.

Originally Posted by Radium

No doing stuff just to (-) me off.

But yes, we now know the crystal is definitely important.

Check the skeleton for any bite marks, broken bones or holes in the bones. If we can figure out what killed it, we might know what were up against...

I doubt we could.

Originally Posted by Xobim

we might know what were up against...

Black raptors?

Possible.

I wasn't trying to just (-) him off. I just want to see what will happen when Fawriel hears "Consider fishing" in the back of his head.

Originally Posted by Canti3000

I wasn't trying to just (-) him off. I just want to see what will happen when Fawriel hears "Consider fishing" in the back of his head.

What to know what will happen?
Rad will get (-) off and eat his arms off. Isn't it obvious Rad doesn't want us doing outlandishly random stuff?

It does lead to good story content.

I'm all for moderators removing idiotic commands.

Originally Posted by Ae

It does lead to good story content.

Sure, let's spend 77 pages just standing around in this room not getting anywhere in this puzzle, just doing stuff for "Story content". By the time ToU part 5 comes around, maybe Rad will just get rid of the interactive bit and just write sotry content, since apparently thats all what amtters. While we're at it, why not try asking the (-) skeleton for some (-) canadian dollars?

Is it okay to give a somewhat idiotic command in addition to a reasonable one?