Jazz Jackrabbit 2 Online

Introduction:
This is what happens when someone from the Sonic Adventure generation takes a stab at a Jazz Jackrabbit song.

Song Analysis:
The lyrics are pretty good and fairly well sung. The song itself is pretty much the same ol’ Turtemple theme, but with square waves and triangle waves instead of actual real samples.

Sample Analysis:
As mentioned, square and triangle waves were used most of the song. Some real-sounding drums, a “fly-by” sound from Star Control II, and a couple others sounds were thrown in for the Heck of it, apparently. Let me be the first to tell you. . .if you’re going to go with real lyrics, don’t use freaking square and triangle waves. Compose a beautiful piece of music, by hand, using some real samples. Okay? Okay.

Final Analysis:
Ya know. . . This would be an absolutely freaking awesome Sonic Adventure-style song. . .if you hadn’t used Famicom-style samples for the background music! You fail!! 3.2 out of 10.0!!! This is also an insult to Jazz Jackrabbit fans. As mentioned above, get yourself a real arrangement of Turtemple, then add the lyrics in. Once you do, I can almost gaurentee I will give you a very high score, depending on the quality of the arrangement. Your heart’s in the right place. Really. But focus on the music, not the lyrics. . .

I do not recommend this file for download on the grounds that, even though it has sung lyrics, the lyrics are meaningless with the quality of music behind it.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Introduction:
Turtemple as heard a’la polyphonic cell phone ringtone! . . .not really.

Song Analysis:
Repeatitive. Short. Not exactly sweet. Initially, the beeps sort of collide with one-another, but after listening to it for a loop or two, it sounds fine enough. Like I said, though. It’s very repeatitive. I. . .genuinely have no idea what Crusader was going for in making this file. It sounds like a Cracker intro theme now, actually. Like the sort of thing you’d find on an intro to pirated software or something. Not even a “chiptune,” really. Just. . . Beepy. Might make a good ringtone for someone’s cell phone. . .

Sample Analysis:
Beeps, heavy drums, and some low basslines. I think I also detect a sample or two from the original song, but I could be wrong. No real complaints here, other than the beeps hurt my head. Even on low volumes, they sort of blare. Kind of annoying.

Final Analysis:
This song is a good wake-up call and a better cell phone ringtone, but overall, I don’t know why this was uploaded. It’s alright. . .but it’s boring. That’s why I give it a 3.7 score, but also a Download Recommendation. Because it’s not very unique, but unique enough to give a listen.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

See, this reminds me of something Future Crew might’ve pumped out back in the day, now. But only because of the added channels, really. I’ll write something a bit more comprehensive later. I need sleep right now.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

. . .I think my ears are bleeding. I’d go through with an actual review, but I’m entirely sure that Haze said everything I was going to say and even gave the score I was thinking of. So. . .yeah. Maybe I’ll go through with an actual review if this picks up enough steam and ratings.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Dear gods, that’s one very ugly WinAMP Classic skin. It doesn’t reflect the site very well, either. It just looks like a generic 2.x skin in hues of yellow, white, and orange. . . I don’t recommend this skin. But I do recommend “FruityAMP”. [runs]

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Have you no concept of keeping things in key?! Seriously! [cough] Sorry. . . Anyway. . .

Introduction:
“Sugar Rush!” theme from Jazz Jackrabbit 2 done in an apparent “trance” style.

Song Analysis:
This song hurts my head. Even turned down, this song hurts my head. Overall, it’s too darn loud. On some players, it even manages to drown itself out with sheer static. Additionally, the song — and yes, I realize how little there is to work with — is far too repeatitive. It’s the same thing over and over again with different samples. Out of tune ones.
Also, if I’m not mistaken, the song seems to lean heavily to the left speaker. This is unacceptable, considering there’s thirty-two freaking channels which could be mixed around properly. Remember, sometimes it’s better not to have something clear to the right, or clear to the left all the time. A little in-betweening could help.

Sample Analysis:
. . .Paul Reubens?
Anyway. . . The samples are out of key with one-another, as you may or may not realize. The samples themselves are alright, but the way they’re used just doesn’t work very well.

Final Analysis:
This is a horrible attempt at the Sugar Rush theme, but I can definately imagine worst tries.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Looks good to me. A test level might’ve been a good idea, though. Some of us are too lazy to make one ourselves, afterall! X3

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Introduction:
Marbelara, done in a sort of fast-paced style. Not really “club” so much as “techno”.

Song Analysis:
The arrangement of this song isn’t very good. It’s basically Marbelara with some added drums, a very basic bassline, some xylophones, and a pitch climb about 3/4 the way through the song.

Sample Analysis:
Samples bad. Samples very bad. Period.
The xylophone is well out of tune with the electronic trumpety sound. Also, the pre-fab drum samples have been done to death. I know it saves on song space and crap, but it gets boring after a while.

Final Analysis:
Rather boring for something this fast and furious. If it wasn’t so noisy, you could probably put someone to sleep with this tune. Heck, it’s making me yawn. Heh.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Introduction:
Familiar with Sonic CD and it’s “Good Future”/“Bad Future” arrangements of its music? Yeah. . . That’s kind of like what this is. “Technoir Bad Future”.

Song Analysis:
I’m entirely not sure what to say about the arrangement of this song. It’s unique to say the least, but it’s just plain too busy for its own good. Too much going on at once. A million channels flying off at once does not always make a good song, particularly in this case.

Sample Analysis:
The song starts out really nicely with the weird guitarish thing in place of the normal “dumpa-dongs,” then quickly turns to pot thanks to most of the samples being out of tune with one-another. Additionally, I hear some Jazz 1 samples in there, mixed with Jazz 2 samples. Not very original.

Final Analysis:
Have I mentioned the volume control on ModPlug Player is too sensitive? Anyway. . . This song isn’t too thrilling to me. C’mon, man. I know you can do better’n this.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Introduction:
A. . .unique take on Jazz Belmont from Jazz Jackrabbit: the Secret Files. Supposedly. I sure don’t hear it.

Song Analysis:
Initially, and I’m being blunt here. . . Initially, it sounds like crap! Seriously. And it takes about half the song length to actually get anywhere, unfortunately. Then once it starts going somewhere, it kind of destroys itself a little ways after. This file actually makes me wince.

Sample Analysis:
The samples are all of very good quality, and I guess they work well for what they were going for, but what exactly were they going for? It’s hard to tell, needless to say.
In addition to that, some of the samples are simply not in tune with one-another. Period.

Final Analysis:
This song is definately a sort of “hip-hop” sort of song, but it sounds like something early MOD artists might have come up with, as opposed to something Alexander Brandon wrote. On that note, I truly cannot hear the Jazz Belmont part of this song, outside of the very start. This song isn’t very good at all, but it doesn’t deserve anything much lower than a 3.7, so it’s not a complete flop.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Introduction:
Muckamok done up in metal stylings. Sort of. Heh.

Song Analysis:
The song starts out sounding exactly like the original Muckamok, then goes off into a frenzy of metal samples. Really. . .really crappy ones. But more on that below.
The song itself is pretty much the normal four-channel Muckamok piece with some really nice additions to it. Not just echoes, but some original stuff as well. It’s just a shame the samples chosen don’t quite work. . .

Sample Analysis:
Oh gods. . . This song leaps so high only to fall so darned far due to the choice in crappy samples. . . Or perhaps it’s the fact that all the samples cut out so much. Now if it were me, I’d try this again, but replace the metal samples with something else. It could still work.

Final Analysis:
As I said. This song would be freaking sweet with the right samples. As it is, it’s a wonderful arrangement. . .but the samples hold it back so very much! Man. . . I still recommend this, though. It’s just that neat.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Man. It’s been a while since I’ve been here, apparently.
Now, I know I said I was going to bother reviewing anything Danyjel does, but apparently, I’m the only person on J2O who doesn’t instantly pump his music up past the 8.0 mark, thus giving is a Checkpoint Box on the file listing. And that’s just me telling it like it is. So. . .let’s get on with this. I got dishes I need to do.

Introduction:
This is a Deserto arrangement done in a pseudo Jazz Jackrabbit 2 style. But did it pull it off well?

Song Analysis:
Upon listening to the song, there aren’t any original parts to it, but instead, Danyjel chose to rearrange the entire girth of the song. Why? Dunno. He somehow thinks it’s “unremixable,” from what he wrote. But apparently, he’s full of hot air.
The song kind of repeats itself in some spots, and the pre-fab drum loop(from many Jazz 2 songs) gets a little dull after a while. But overall, the arrangement of this song isn’t total garbage, which is more than I can say for some of the earlier arrangements people have posted. In fact, I sort of like it, dispite the repetition.

Sample Analysis:
The samples chosen sound to me to be mixed Jazz 1 and Jazz 2 samples. Oh, they work perfect fine and all, but there is a vast number of good samples out there that could’ve been used in place of these, I’m sure.

Final Analysis:
It’s kind’a cool. . . Definately better than a lot of Danyjel’s other works. Glad to see he’s finally getting with the program and cranking out something I don’t instantly want to delete from my hard drive. On the contrary. This is one of his few works I might actually keep. So keep it up.

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The “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene. . . Joseph Collins
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

Danyjel pretty much said what I was going to, honestly. But. . .I’ll try and add on to that.

Introduction:
Long story short, this is a simple, four-channel version of “Jazz Be Damned” by Alexander Brandon. Or is it?

Song Analysis:
I consider myself very familiar with the works of both Alexander Brandon and Robert A. Allen. . .but this file. . .sounds like nothing from either artist. Nothing I can trace to Jazz Jackrabbit 2, anyway. I just don’t know. . . It sounds nice enough, and all, but it just doesn’t sound familiar.
Also, as Danyjel said, “instrumental does not always mean a low count of samples.” Honestly, any song that does not have lyrics to it is a freaking instrumental. Heh.

Sample Analysis:
The one and only sample used in the song is a very nice sample indeed. Not much else I can say about that.

Final Analysis:
I’m not at all entirely sure what this was supposed to be, regardless of the title. I also, as I’d mentioned, can’t trace this back to “Jazz Be Damned” at all, so. . . Going by that, I’m going to have to give this file a 3.7. It’s pretty, but it’s entirely unfamiliar-sounding. . . Worth a download, though.

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“I am the “Simon Cowell” of Jazz 2 Online‘s Music Scene.”
~ Joseph Collins

“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

This sounds like the sort of stuff that would get on OverClocked ReMix. And, as hard as it may be to believe, I don’t mean that in a good way.

Introduction:
Completely rearranged the Bonus Stage theme from Jazz Jackrabbit, adding echoes with repeatitious and progressively recognizable melodies, and that’s what you get from this.

Song Analysis:
I dunno. I agree with what Labby said, for the most part. Repeatitive. It also takes too long to get to where it needs to go, if you ask me. The arrangement is pretty generic, even if it’s only vaugely recognizable.

Sample Analysis:
The samples used work for what they were used for. It’s a nice, little, quiet song. Nothing bombastic, nothing overpowering. Echoing, yes. But it doesn’t sound bad.

Final Analysis:
Eh. Not a bad song. But nothing special. I give it a 10.0!!! . . .no, of course not. =P 6.2 for this one. And a download recommendation. Makes good background music.

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Joseph Collins, the Music Review Freak
“Dr Lithius” or “LithiuServer” on Jazz 2

I don’t really feel like doing a full review for this, so I’ll just summarize and not rate it.

I played this map in Single Player mode to get a feel for the map and whatnot. I noticed right away that the tileset was a double-sized one. This doesn’t make it look very pretty, but comparing sizes with the Xargon characters, it’s probably about right. Still doesn’t look very pretty overall, though.
The level itself is nicely designed. Everything works well, and there’s enough eye-candy to sedate even the toughest critic.(Myself included. =P) There’s also a goodly amount of weapons. Toasters, RF Missiles, Seekers, etc. There’s enough to go around without over-itemizing the map.

Overall, it’s a fun map. Blocky, due to the x2 tileset, but fun. Might make a good level to run around on. If I were to rate it, I’d give it a 7.2.

Edit: Cooba has a few valid points, come to think of it. Given that, I’d change my rating from 7.2 to 6.9. But unless something huge is thrown my way, I won’t go a fraction lower!

Second Edit: Back up to a 7.2, my potential rating goes, thanks to the most recent(as of 03/26/05) edits.

Introduction:
I guess it’s exactly what was promised. “Points of Authority” mixed with Tubelectric?

Song Analysis:
I. . . I’m not sure. I’m really not sure how to review this. It’s. . .just a couple intertwined files. That’s all. Points of Authority with some slowed-down Tubelectric thrown in. It works. For the most part. It starts to desynch around 1:56, though. Quite noticably. Then there’s an obvious “jump” at 2:16. Then another desynch at 2:56. Finally, there’s a long, unnecessary silence at 3:18 onward.

Mixing Analysis:
It mixes alright. For the most part. As I said, there’s a few desynchs and jumps. The songs could have mixed a little better than this. It’s an original concept, but the mix itself isn’t that great overall.

Final Analysis:
. . .I’m not sure if I should rate this or not. This is one of those. . .things. It’s an MP3 of Linkin Park’s “Points of Authority” lightly mixed with Tubelectric. If I were to rate it, I’d give it a 2.2 for the above reasons and for no other reasons than that. The legality of this doesn’t effect the score at all.
If you like Linkin Park, this is a good download for you, considering it’s an entire Linkin Park song with some ignorable Tubelectric parts. I wouldn’t suggest downloading it myself, however. As I keep saying, it’s not a very good mix.

Edit: . . .eh. I went ahead and rated it.

Second Edit: You people that give this “remix” a high rating make me sad. :x

Third Edit: Eh. Rating withdrawn. Considering I have no idea what the original song sounds like, and furthermore could care less, perhaps that’s not very fair to Jazzy. I was rating the MP3 version to begin with, not the IT version. The IT version isn’t all that much more impressive to me, frankly. It still goes out of synch in some places. There’s a few “skips” here and there. Just ain’t impressive to me. And given the IT version, the score would drop from a 2.2 to a 2, as I’d rate the IT a 1.7. But whatever. I can admit when I’m not being completely fair.

Introduction:
A dry interpretation of the Turtemple theme done up in a dance club styling.

Song Analysis:
You’d be surprised just how empty this song can possibly sound without an actual bassline. Which it does not have. At any given point whatsoever. Definate minus points there. And given the opening sample, I almost thought this was something out of Blaster Master 2 for a brief moment. Anyone else remember that lava level? No? Okay then, nevermind.
Anyway. . . Like I said, without the bassline, it’s a little bit dry. The overall arrangement isn’t. . .well. . .arranged all that much from the original, either. It’s just the same old “dun-dun-dun, dun-dun-dun, dun-dun” cycled over and over again in a fast pace with about three samples. Not much to hear here, folks.
Additionally, it doesn’t really sound much like it’s Oriental. It just sounds like typical American dance music, minus the bassline.

Sample Analysis:
The samples chosen are of high quality indeed. However, it seems to me that the samples are also just a tiny bit out of tune with one another. It might just be me, though. Nothing more to say.

Final Analysis:
Wanted: One Turtemple bassline. Inquire inside. :x
Loud and hyper, but dull and boring regardless. Not particularly worth a download considering how surprisingly dry it managed to turn out.

Told’ja all I needed was some sleep. Now I’m back in the swing and ready to kick some fuzzy green tail. :x

Introduction:
Strange, strange title(un-l33ted, “Fan’lnt”?) for a pretty decent easy-listening-to-rock arrangement of Fanolint.

Song Analysis:
Starting out, the song doesn’t sound too much like Fanolint. In fact, it sounds more like something you might hear down in Chinatown or something.(Which isn’t a bad thing, mind you.)However, this song really begins to pick up around 2:50 when we hear added drums in the background. Around 3:50, though, all the samples playing begin to sort of clash with one another, but this only last for about fifteen seconds or so. Or maybe it just takes that long for me to adjust to the sound. Harr.
Finally, it starts to come to a long-winded, peaceful close from 4:51 onward.(That’s almost a pattern, there. One minute off from the other two major changes.) Nice.

Sample Analysis:
I think that all the samples Jazz picked for this work quite nicely with one another to make both “parts” of the song(“easy listening” and “rock”) pleasing to the ears. As I said, a couple of things might need some fine-tuning, but as it is, it’s nothing terribly harmful to the song itself.

Final Analysis:
It’s a little dry and doesn’t sound terribly like the original Fanolint song in some parts, but overall, it’s a really nice arrangement! Some things are a wee bit out of key, but honestly, it’s nothing that would hurt the ears. Additionally, it’s definately way better than some of his older work.
I recommend this for download because it’s a fun arrangement, dispite the keys of some of the samples.

> Just for fun. Not for Collin’s
> offensive ratings…
Nice to know I’m being thought of in your music. Awww. <3
(He asked for it, Admins. I’m serious. He practically begged for it by putting that line in his Comments.)

Introduction:
Fanolint done in techno/electronica style. Though it only somewhat sounds like Fanolint.(The pot calling the kettle black, over here, I am. XD)

Song Analysis:
“Orchestra”? Not quite. Not at all, in fact. The introduction has a piano and some strings in it, but it soon divulges deep into the electronica stuff we’ve come to expect from Dan here.
Though not clearly marked, it sounds a little like Fanolint all throughout. But it seems only the first part of Fanolint.(Roughly 0:18 to 0:36 of the original song. Though the original was only 0:59 long to begin with.)

Sample Analysis:
Dang, boy! The samples you chose clash quite a bit in this music file, I notice. Right from the get-go at 1:00, the “blip” clashes with the strings and the electronic “whaa-whaa” sound. It clashes all the worse around 2:10 and forward. Rather offensive to the ears, in my opinion.

Final Analysis:
Aside from the notes that make me want to turn down the volume, this isn’t a bad arrangement. Boring, sure. Repeatitive, definately. But it’s not entirely Dan’s fault as the original was only 0:59 long, as I’d said.
I don’t recommend this file for download due to the fact that the samples clash. Badly. With a lot of work, however, it could be a very nice music file.

If I ever figure out how to rip the graphics out of Tile Sets, I might try and VGA-tize it. Just for the Heck of it. But then, I might not. Depends on how abmitious I feel. Anyway. . .on with the review!

Introduction:
Welcome to a good ol’ kick in the pants in Hillville, folks. It’s the Hillville/Slug Village tile set from Commander Keen IV: the Secret of the Oracle for Jazz Jackrabbit 2.

Tileset Analysis:
What can I say? It’s all those warm, wonderful EGA graphics us old-school gamers loved so much way back when Keen was. . .er. . .keen! This tileset brings back such fond memories of zapping Poison Slugs and dodging Mad Mushrooms. . . Everything fits together seemlessly from what I can see.

Functionality Analysis
There seem to be a few masking issues with the tileset itself. Unlike most Jazz 2 tilesets, you seem unable to Dash downhill full-tilt, or in Spaz’s case, jump-kick down or up-hill without being stopped. Additionally, having so many “Hook” events overlapping to make the “climbable” poles seems a little sloppy, but I sure can’t think of a better way to make that. The tar pits and fire also seem a little raised, as far as “hurting” goes. But I blame Jazz 2 more than Labrat for those.
Additionally, I think that the characters might be a little too low on the ground, compared to Keen IV. But I could be wrong.

Final Analysis:
Forget what Labrat said about “feeling like a giant” with this 1x tileset. Jazz, Spaz, and Lori are no taller than Keen himself, if you compare.(Doooo eeeeeeeeet.) I think they might be shorter, come to think of it. Anyway. . . Overall, this tile set gets the job done, and then some, looking good and working pretty well. This would be a good set to make a Capture the Flag level or Race level with, for example. Flaws aside, this is a very good tile set.

I recommend this for download, both as a Jazz fan, and as a Keen fan. I hope to see some levels with this set, too!