Just like back in the pre-Win3.1 days...

[Radium]

<b>The books are heavy and would <s>kill you</s> slow you down greatly. And, being written for only the Suxiest, the pages are made from iron.

[Lem_Gambino]

<s>Take: All books.</s>
Ask: Fooruman: About this room and if it and/or any of the books belong to him or Unfooruman.

[Blackraptor]

View: Passages to go.

[Radium]

<b>Books are too heavy to all take.
You ask Fooruman about the room. He thinks for a moment. "Well, It looks like a collection of Sux Magic books. I don't see why Unfooruman would want to keep them all, though, especially in one place... oh, wait, nevermind," he finishes looking at the wire-covered object with a digital clock reading "00:00:59" strategically hidden in the middle of the room.

[Lem_Gambino]

Examine: Clock

[Violet CLM]

Leave room. Go South.

[Radium]

<b>You look at the clock. The letters are digital and glow red. They appear to be counting down every second. You start to leave the room, except it grew a better door. This one's not as weak looking as the previous.

[Odin]

Kick clock in digital display down long side of room. After making sure it's at one end of the room, walk to the other end.

-ThO

[Violet CLM]

Open the door.
Destroy the red wire.

[Radium]

<b>The door is locked. The room is ten feet wide. All the wires are yellow. I feel evil.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Dismantle clock

Action: Save
Action: Cut random yellow wire

[Lem_Gambino]

Attack: Door until it breaks. Quickly. =O

[acid]

Engage battle system with new door

[Sciz CT]

Move: Clock next to door.
Make: Wall between party and clock with books.
Go: Opposite side of room from clock.

[Lem_Gambino]

I like that plan, but what if we need the knowledge of Sux Magic later on?

[Xion]

CUT ALL THE WIRES.

[Ekardnamal]

Greetings, Kard, and welcome to 3.1. Please leave your soul at the door and your organs at the donation desk.

*comes in door, stabs self with sword, rips out liver, and puts on desk* that good enough? If you ask about my soul, it's already been sold, so you can't have it.

Any cracks in the door?

[Radium]

<b>Ugh... lot of suggestions. Blacky and Lem get this one.

<b>The clock is too tightly bolted to dismantle. You cut a yellow wire. The clock doesn't stop. You attack the door. It is unharmed.

Game saved.

[Ekardnamal]

How big is the bomb (I'm assuming it's a bomb)?

[Lem_Gambino]

Move: As far away from the bomb as possible
Cast: Magic Dart: Bomb. It should explode without anyone getting hurt too badly.

[Radium]

<b>The bomb is about one foot by one foot by one foot. You cower in the corner and have Araches magic dart it. You all die. Game loaded.

[Ekardnamal]

Use: CrazyT
With: Random Wire

[Radium]

<b>You use the CrazyT on the Rantom Wire, but it makes no difference. You shrug and put it back in your intentory.

[Ekardnamal]

What CrazyT made out of?

[Radium]

<b>You have no idea. Nobody has any idea.

[Ekardnamal]

Ask Fooruman to try and read the books, and if he can't, or he refuses, poke him.

[Radium]

<b>Fooruman takes a book and starts to read through it. "There!" he says, pointing to a particular spell called "Freeze Timer".

[Ekardnamal]

Read more about "Freeze Timer" spell.

[Blackraptor]

Cast: Freeze timer (save game before using it though incase something goes wrong)

[Ekardnamal]

BlackRaptor, I would highly doubt Fooruman would be able to cast Freeze Timer, because he would have already if he would have known how to.

[Blackraptor]

There are thousands of sux spells, it would be kinda hard to memorize them all. By saying cast Freeze timer I mean reading it from the book and casting it. And try avoiding capitalizing the R in my name, my nick is Blackraptor, not Black Raptor or BlackRaptor.

[Radium]

<b>Fooruman reads the book. Fooruman has learned freeze timer! There are two seconds remaining on timer D=.

[Xion]

my nick is Blackraptor, not Black Raptor or BlackRaptor.
Or just call him "Rappy"

[Ekardnamal]

Sorry, Blackraptor. It's just that I'm so used to capitalizing both words in nicknames. Like PhoenixWarrior. I'll try to avoid it next time. But what if the book didn't say how to cast it, it just described the spell?

[Ekardnamal]

CAST FREEZE TIMER!!!!!

Oh yeah, and pageclaim. :D

[Radium]

<b>Timer stops. Party smiles.

[Ekardnamal]

If there's any more rice left, distribute among party, giving Fooruman twice as much as anyone else.

[Xion]

PhoenixWarriorWhat...did you just say?

[Ekardnamal]

What, your nickname too?

I'm not a stalker, if that's what you're wondering.

[Radium]

<b>You distribute the rest of the rice. Fooruman gets more. Party morale raised.

[Ekardnamal]

Now we have to get out of here... Radium, could you describe the room and any possible exits?

[Xion]

What, your nickname too?

I'm not a stalker, if that's what you're wondering.
It was my nickname, yes. You were the other one, seemingly?

[Ekardnamal]

Which other one?

[Xion]

Which other one?
The other PhoenixWarrior. :p That was a reason why I changed my nick on JJ2 since I was being confused.

The one and only MegaAnnoonJTOTATURTECSSBKC...(I forgot the last clantag...oops.)

[Ekardnamal]

Ah. Radium, exits?

[Xion]

Yes, back to the game.

Analyze: room

[Radium]

<b>The room is round and books are on the shelves lining the walls. Exits are: Locked door.

[Risp_old]

Silly Rad, locked door isn't a compass direction.

Then again, with Dennis being one...

[Xion]

We don't know what compass direction it is in, we're in a dark room!

Engage: Locked Door

[Radium]

<b>The locked door is already married.

[Blackraptor]

Ask: Ask party for advice (Hey, it worked before!)

[Violet CLM]

Say: Door: "We have your significant other locked away in a prison. Open up, or I will press the button to seal its doom!"

[Radium]

<b>The party has no idea. At all.
And no, the door is married to the lock.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Read the books until you find a suitable sux spell to open the door.

[Radium]

<b>The whole party starts reading the books, looking for a spell. After your second book, it occurs to you that all the Sux Magic spells... suck. "Sharpen Mechanical Pencil", "Invert Lense Color", and "Seal Cardboard Box" are among some of your favorites.

[Blackraptor]

Action: If possible, make fooruman learn the most useful of the sux spells.
Action: Examine crazyT
Action: Examine Ballista kit.
Action: Take out zodiac and make him try to open the door.
Action: If that doesnt work, have Araches cast bloodlust on the strongest party member and have them vigorously ram into the door until they're too tired to or are at the brink of losing morale.

[Me]

Check: Morale

[Radium]

<b>Fooruman has leaned "invert lense color"!
Though the CrazyT is unexaminable, you look at the Ballista Kit. The kit has all the pieces needed to construct a full sized ballista. Zodiac is asleep. Araches casts bloodlust on Faw, but he still can't break the door down.

Morale is neutral.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Fooruman: Cast damage wooden surface on door.

[Radium]

<b>Like the last door, this door is immune.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Pray for something bad to happen to the door.

[Radium]

<b>The door is still there D=.

[Blackraptor]

hmmm...this might be too evil.
ACTION: SAVE NOW BEFORE USING THIS K THX
Action: Magic map to antifoo island (hopefully right outside the structure we are in), and if that doesnt work magic map to upper placespot.

[Radium]

<b>Magic map is still not working. Game saved.

[Blackraptor]

..D=
Throw books at the door.

[Radium]

<b>The books bounce harmlessly off of the door.

[Odin]

Sing the cheesecake song.

-ThO

[Ekardnamal]

Hmm... Radium, spells list?

P.S.: I think it has to do something with the ballista... Where's that Gremlin Guru when you need him... Even Trafton would be helpful... D=

[Radium]

<b>L33tz4n's Spells (Master Summoning, Hypnotism, Glitching):
-Summon Rusty Iron Bat: Summons rusty iron bat. Dispelled after a while. <i>The trick to winning combat is to never be unarmed. Never!</i>
-Summon Butterfly: Summons butterfly. Dispelled after a while. <i>I wrote this spell as a joke. I had no idea it would make it in a book.</i>
-Summon Battlebutterfly: Summons butterfly with niftular battle attachments. <i>Durnit, if my joke spell has to make it in a book the least I can do is give it an upgrade!</i>
-Summon MSN guy: A little more pathetic than Summon Butterfly. Gets fired after a while and commits suicide when MSN stock drops. <i>This is the worst spell. Period. MSN cast it, and look what happened to them.</i>
-Summon Einstein: Summons Einstein. Dispelled after a while, takes a lot of MP. <i>Top marks on my homework! Sorcery is fun.</i>
-Summon Water Elemental: Summons water elemental. Dispelled after a while and takes a lot of MP. <i>Water is a very destructive force. It can carve through stone or give the strongest warrior a painless death.</i>
-Glitch: Causes impossible events to stop happening, takes 2 people. <i>What can not exist, does not exist, but only a rare few can prove it.</i>
-Hypnotize: Only Mindmagic spell, puts enemy under your control. What enemy depends on MP used in spell and enemy's intelligence. <i>We all hate it when people don't do what we want. Owned!</i>
-Hypnotism Ward: Prevents Mindmagic spells. Takes a lot of MP to cast. <i>You know, I don't like the idea of having some old man with a wand in my head.</i>
-Summon Soap: Summons a bar of soap. Magically launched from hand at a fair speed. <i>As far as I'm concerned, there is no other spell for combat. This one does it all.</i>
-Summon Mythslayer: Summons a person specialized in slaying all magical and unnatural creatures. <i>Silver bullets, wooden steaks, mirrors, crosses, you name it, if it wasn't meant to exist he can kill it.</i>
-Summon Enchantresphere: Enchatresphere's status depends on the amount of MP used (specify in casting). <i>Sometimes you need something battle-turning. Sometimes you just need a little help. This comes in handy all the time.</i>

Fawriel's Spells (advanced healing, basic seer magic):
-Heal: Restores one ally's HP. <i>The strongest warriors are those who refuse to die.</i>
-Raise: Revives a dead ally (takes a lot of MP) <i>After a long difficult battle, he defeated our strongest man. Little did he know, he had to do it again.</i>
-Mass Power Restore: Restores all allies' MP. Takes effort to cast; caster becomes tired and weaker for a while. <i>The more spells you cast, the stronger you are. The more spells your allies can cast, the stronger you all are.</i>
-Visions: View an enemy's full status, except for hidden spell effects. <i>Even the strongest warrior falls to an unknown enemy.</i>
-Town Gate: Teleport to a visited location. <i>We can't be in two places at once, but we can get pretty close.</i>

Uberbob's Spells (glitching, advanced enchantment, advanced doll magic):
-Glitch: Causes impossible events to stop happening, takes 2 people. <i>What can not exist, does not exist, but only a rare few can prove it.</i>
-Fysics Phalure: Uberbob is not yet powerful enough to cast this spell. <i>Sometimes the universe seems to be against you. Luckily, you're against it too.</i>
-Stoneskin: Increases unit's defense. <i>When we run into battle, the rocks we step on don't complain. Now we know why.</i>
-Enchant Weapon: Increases a weapon's speed, strength, ect. Takes a lot of MP, can only be cast once in a long time. Takes 4-8 hours to wear off. <i>Suddenly that pair of saftey scissors looks pretty dangerous</i>
-Telekenesis: Moves inanimate objects. Requires line of sight, lifts approximately 10 lbs at most.<i>Things often lie just out of our reach. If only our hands could reach as far as our minds.</i>
-Doll Ward: Prevents all Doll Magic spells. <i>Nobody likes dead stuff that moves.</i>
-Randomtacklemanashackle: Cast on an enemy target. Every time target casts a spell, a football player comes from nowhere and tackles them, then returns to nowhere. <i>Finally something those weak old wizards can't counter. Name isn't bad, either.</i>
-Enchant Doll: Brings a doll to life. Doll can be controlled by enchanter, and its personality is decided by the enviorment it is enchanted in. Requires doll. <i>The problem with summoned creatures is that they always vanish after a while. Some day the problem with dolls is that they don't.</i>

Araches' Spells (basic enchantment, advanced non-elemental magic):
-Bloodlust: Increases unit's attack. <i>You know the feeling of strength and madness we get in combat? Now picture it in a spell.</i>
-Haste: Increases unit's speed. <i>Surprise is key. The enemy won't expect a heavily armored soldier to run like a cheetah.</i>
-Life Drain: Target's health slowly goes down. Takes a lot of MP, can only be cast once every long time. <i>When you have this spell, all you need is a large shield.</i>
-Magic Dart: Inflicts a small amount of damage, requires line of sight. <i>Why waste ammo?</i>
-Shadow Ring: All troops, friend or foe, adjacent to Araches take heavy damage when cast. <i>Let them surround you. Make them sorry.</i>

Shuriken's Spells:
-Haste: Increases unit's speed. <i>Surprise is key. The enemy won't expect a heavily armored soldier to run like a cheetah.</i>

Uberbob(Move:2)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP50.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP30.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP20.gif (Magic Mirror)
L33tz4n(Move:2)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP70.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP20.gif
Fawriel(Move:1)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP70.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP20.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP30.gif
Fooruman(Move:1)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP50.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP60.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP20.gif
Shuriken(Move:4)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP60.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP20.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP30.gif
Araches(Move:2)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP50.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP40.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP10.gif

[Xion]

<b>The locked door is already married.</b>
Cretin. "Engage Door" is not "Propose to Door" but more like "Begin battle system with party vs. Door"

[Odin]

Use several Randomtacklemanashackles on the door.

[Radium]

<b>You can not fight the door because it is too good for you.

[Xion]

Sleep.
and pageclaim.

[Odin]

Ask the door politely if it let the party out.

If that doesn't work, have Araches cyber the door.

-ThO

[Xion]

have Araches cyber the door.Now you're thinkin.

[Ekardnamal]

Are there any cracks around the edges of the door?

I was thinking that we could:
Check to see how hard the CrazyT is by smashing it against the floor
If CrazyT is hard- stuff into crack in door
Leetzan: Summon rusty iron bat
Araches: Cast Bloodlust on Faw
Faw: Whack CrazyT through crack in door with rusty iron bat

If this works properly, the door will fall off its hinges =D

[Radium]

<b>The CrazyT appears to be massless and have no signifigant density. You aren't quite sure how it works. And no, the door does not want to cyber.

[Xion]

...Rape the door

[Lem_Gambino]

Cast: Fooruman: Freeze Timer.
Use: Ballista Kit Parts 1-3 to assemble Ballista.
Search: Heavest book.
Fire: Book @ door using Ballista.

OMG I'M SO SMART NOT XP

[Radium]

<b>For the record, Freeze Timer works until dispelled. Or you click your heels together three times and say "there's no place like ten feet over in that general direction".

You and L33tz4n assemble the Ballista. It includes four arrows, but it's missing the main screw that holds it all together. Evil marketing schemes.

Intentory:
-Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitylazerlighty superflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfourseatsestr udelire
-Druid Robe
-Pearldiver's Knife
-Magic Map
-Magic Mirror
-Leprechaun Foot
-Bookmark of Eternity
-Sear's Exorcism Kit
-Zodiac, Evil Doll
-Ballista
-Gem
-Spring
-Berry
-Leaves
-Wildflowers
-Fruits (2)

[Xion]

Straighten Spring
Use Spring for Main Bolt
USE BALLISTA

[Radium]

<b>The spring is too thin and weak to be the main bolt.

[Lem_Gambino]

Use the Thirdnote for the screw.

[Radium]

<b>The thirdnote is too large and scary to fit.

[Lem_Gambino]

See if the Thridnote has a screw in it that fits in Ballista.

[Radium]

<b>The thirdnote can not be disassembled. It is too great of a power.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Look for a sux spell that has something to do with making screws appear or making things work
Action: Make a campfire and play charades with party to boost morale.

[Radium]

<b>As Fooruman looks through the tomes for a useful spell, Araches points out that making a campfire in a closed room is kind of stupid.

[Blackraptor]

Ok, ok, ok, just trying to add a nice, warm, friendly fire to play charades near =(

Action: Play charades to boost party morale (without the fire =( =( =( )

[Radium]

<b>Araches is too pessimistic to feel like starting a charades game.

[Xion]

Check the Sux Spellbooks for "Summon Bolt"

[Risp_old]

Play a game of Charades without Araches or a fire.

[Radium]

<b>Fooruman is currently looking for the spell. How do you wish to start the charades game?

[Xion]

Do the worm.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Make Faw start.

[Radium]

<b>You drop on the ground and flop around.
"A fish?" L33tz4n guesses.
"A table?" Fawriel guesses.
"An idiot?" Araches says, possibly without a question mark.

[Risp_old]

Burrow into the ground and live the rest of your life as a worm.

[Radium]

<b>The floor is stone, preventing your evil plans.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Complement L33tz4n for getting it right
Action: Complement Faw on almost getting it right
Action: Complement Araches.

[Radium]

<b>You do that and all awkwardly stare at each other.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Ask anyone if they would like to volunteer for a charades game
Action: Ask Fooruman if he has found a spell yet

[Lem_Gambino]

Control: Faw
Do: The monkey. j/k
Help Fooruman search.

[Radium]

<B>Foourman has not yet found a spell, and nobody wants to volunteer.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Ask party if they would rather play charades or look for a spell.

[Radium]

<b>Your party replies that they would rather look for a spell and begin looking through the books.

[Xion]

Search: Books: Summon Bolt

[Lem_Gambino]

You mean Summon SCREW. I think.
Search for books on how to summon hardware.

[Radium]

<b>After a sleepless night of reading, all you have found is "Melt Screwdriver". Fooruman, Shuriken, and Araches are still looking. L33tz4n is asleep on a book. You don't know where Fawriel is.

[Lem_Gambino]

Say: "Hey, Faw! We are you?"
Look under the "S" section of the library.

[Xion]

Check: Summons

[Radium]

<b>You glance around. "Hey, Faw! Where are you?" you yell in no particular direction. L33tz4n wakes up, glances around, and falls back asleep. Fawriel does not respond.

You haven't found very many summoning spells at all here.

[Xion]

Check: door

Control:Xion
Claim:Page
Use:Page:Slit Radium's Throat

[Radium]

<b>The door is locked. Fawriel is nowhere to be found.

Intentory:
-Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitylazerlighty superflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfourseatsestr udelire
-Druid Robe
-Pearldiver's Knife
-Magic Map
-Magic Mirror
-Leprechaun Foot
-Bookmark of Eternity
-Sear's Exorcism Kit
-Zodiac, Evil Doll
-Ballista
-Gem
-Spring
-Berry
-Leaves
-Wildflowers
-Fruits (2)

[Violet CLM]

Use gem as screw.

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask everyone where Faw went, including the door.

[Radium]

<b>"Where's Faw?" you ask anyone who knows.
Shuriken looks up from the book and scans the room. "I'm not sure. When did he dissapear?"

The gem is too gem shaped to fit as a screw.

[Violet CLM]

"Sometime during the night. I was mostly paying attention to the books."

Is the knife screw shaped?

[Radium]

<b>The knife is too wide.

[Xion]

Search for Faw

[Radium]

<b>The room is tiny and round. There isn't anywhere to search.

[Ekardnamal]

Let out Zodiac to look for Faw. Can someone tell me what Sear predicted that didn't happen yet?

[Lem_Gambino]

Say: "Faw, if you've been turned invisible, say 'yes'."

[Ekardnamal]

Search: Floor

What does the Thirdnotestrudel look like?

[Radium]

<b>"Faw, if you've been turned invisible, say 'yes'," you shout. No reply. You release Zodiac who reluctantly goes to look for faw behind books and stuff.

[Ekardnamal]

Threaten Zodiac with Pearldiver's knife to look harder.

[Radium]

<b>Zodiac looks harder.

[Ekardnamal]

Examine: Door

[Radium]

<b>The door is made from only the most magically-immune wood. It's brown and has a lock.

[Ekardnamal]

Control: L33tz4n
Action: Ask Araches why she's being so pessimistic

[Lem_Gambino]

Say: Door: "Yo momma was a coffee table!"

[Radium]

<b>"Why are you being so pessimistic?" L33tz4n asks Araches.
"Because we're trapped in a room and all going to die," she replies. L33tz4n thinks a moment and nods in agreement.

The door does not speak english.

[Ekardnamal]

Can the door talk/hear us? If so, politely ask door to open.

[Ekardnamal]

Control: L33tz4n
Say: We might not all die if we can find a way to open this door... And if we ARE going to die, let's at least die happy.

Or...

Control: Uberbob
Action: Give a long and insparational speech, including a story about people trapped in a room like this and how they got out.

[Lem_Gambino]

Look in all books that have spells relating to metal shaping.

[Ekardnamal]

Good idea... =D

Has Zodiac found Faw yet?

[Radium]

<b>Too many "or"s and "good idea"s. What is your final decision?

[Ekardnamal]

Do everything

[Lem_Gambino]

O_o Is that legal?

[Ekardnamal]

Wait... Let me rephrase that:

Control: L33tz4n
Say: We might not all die if we can find a way to open this door... And if we ARE going to die, let's at least die happy.

Control: Uberbob
Action: Give a long and insparational speech, including a story about people trapped in a room like this and how they got out.

Look for all books on metal shaping, and see if Zodiac has found Faw yet.

[Radium]

<b>"We might not all die if we can find a way to open this door... And if we ARE going to die, let's at least die happy," L33tz4n says to Araches.

You proceed to give an inspirational speech about how other people trapped in rooms like this got out. You don't actually know any stories about how people got out of a room like this, so you make something up. You think it's rather good sounding, but your party's blank stare suggests otherwise.

The only metal melting spell you can find is "Melt Screwdriver". Zodiac has not found Faw yet.

[Risp_old]

What about that time we were in a cage in Wafflelord's mind?

[Ekardnamal]

Run around poking random party members' foreheads.

[Lem_Gambino]

I said metal SHAPING, not metal MELTING.
Ask: Fooruman: "Do you have a screwdriver on hand?"
Check Inventory.
Check Spells

[Radium]

<b>No shaping spells either. Nobody has a screwdriver. Inventory has not changed since last check.

Uberbob(Move:2)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP50.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP30.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP20.gif Spells: Stoneskin, Enchant Weapon, Randomtacklemanashackle, Glitch
L33tz4n(Move:2)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP70.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP20.gif Spells: Summon Soap, Summon Water Elem, Summon Mythslayer, Summon Enchantresphere, Summon Einstein, Hypnotize, Hypnotism Ward, Glitch, Summon Rusty Iron Bat
Fooruman(Move:1)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP50.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP60.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP20.gif Spells: Sulfur Ward, Damage Wooden Surface, Disable All Paper Springs, Irish Ward, Melt Rubber, Melt Screwdriver, Invert Lense Color
Shuriken(Move:4)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP60.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP20.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP30.gif Spells: Haste
Araches(Move:2)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP50.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP40.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP10.gif Spells: Haste, Bloodlust, Magic Dart, Life Drain, Shadow Ring

[Risp_old]

Does Blackraptor wear glasses?

[Lem_Gambino]

Cast: Glitch: Door.

[Risp_old]

Is the door rabid?

[Radium]

<b>The door is immune to magic. Not rabid, though.

[Ekardnamal]

Can the Water Elemental sense when there is water around?

[Lem_Gambino]

*hits head on keyboard* We must be missing something here...
Say: "Faw, if you're invisible and can't speak, knock on the door."
Move the bomb next to the door.
Move everyone else as faraway from the bomb as possible.
Take one of the Ballista Spears and throw it at the bomb.
If that doesn't work, try Glitching the bomb.

[Radium]

<b>"Faw, if you're invisible and can't speak, knock on the door," you say. No response.
L33tz4n has no spell points. I promise activating the bomb will blow you all up.

[Ekardnamal]

DO NOT DO ANYTHING WITH THE BOMB!!!!! We want to live, Lem...

My page!!!!! :D

[Lem_Gambino]

Search for any "Disarm Bomb" spells.
Search for any "Hinge Breaking" spells.
Search for any "Destroy Enchanted Doors that are mean to you" spells.
Search for any "Dig a hole out a building that has Sux Magic Books and a bomb in it" spells.
If you don't find anything, sit in a "thinking man" positon until something useful pops into your head.

[Radium]

<b>You would get in the thinking man position, but Araches doesn't want you to take off your clothes.

[Violet CLM]

How well are the stones sealed together, and with what?

[Radium]

<b>Very well. Cement.

[Xion]

Gnaw: Door

[Violet CLM]

Look around randomly and ask an invisible gremlin for help.

[Lem_Gambino]

No, I meant "sit in thinking man position with clothes on". Uberbob is not a stipper. I think.
Search for any spells that involve removing cement.

[Radium]

<b>You saw a "strengthen and repair cement" spell a while back.

The door has no place to start gnawing, so you sit in the thinking man position and stare at it.

[Xion]

dig at the door with a book

[Radium]

<b>Er... that's physically impossible, I think.

[Lem_Gambino]

Search for spells that involve removing stones that make up a room that contains books on Sux Magic, a time bomb with two seconds left that has been stopped, a master of Sux Magic, a Sorceress, a Summoner, a Healer, a Ninja, some guy with one ear and wooden appendages, and a door with a nasty attitude.

[Xion]

Not at all.

Step One: Firmly hold a single book.
Step Two: Find a corner of the book.
Step Three: Place the Book Edge on the door.
Step Four: Applying a large amount of pressure, pull the book down.
Step Five: Repeat Step Four, only switching the direction of the book (i.e. Down< -- >Up)
Step Six: Repeat Step Five untill you see Daylight.
Step Seven: Repeat on another part of the door.

[Radium]

<b>The door is uninjured by your digging.
You look for a spell that involves removing stones that make up a room that contains books on Sux Magic, a time bomb with two seconds left that has been stopped, a master of Sux Magic, a Sorceress, a Summoner, a Healer, a Ninja, some guy with one ear and wooden appendages, and a door with a nasty attitude. Sadly, all you are able to find is a spell on removing stones that make up a room that contains books on <i>Summoning</i> Magic, a time bomb with two seconds left that has been stopped, a master of Sux Magic, a Sorceress, a Summoner, a Healer, a Ninja, some guy with one ear and wooden appendages, and a door with a nasty attitude.

[Risp_old]

YOU FORGOT TO BOLD THE REPLY!

[Violet CLM]

What does it say about that spell?

[Radium]

<b>How to cast it. =P

[Violet CLM]

Well, how do you cast it?

[Radium]

<b>You master sux magic and type the "cast" command.

[Violet CLM]

What is the "cast" command?

[Lem_Gambino]

Search for a "remove enchanted door that has bad attitude and can't speak english" spell.

[Blackraptor]

Does Blackraptor wear glasses?

No.

[Ekardnamal]

Action: Look for useful summoning spells

[Xion]

Have we found faw yet?

[Radium]

<b>You have not found Faw and have found no summoning spells.

[Me]

Use: Thirdnotescrapstrudel etc etc on Door

(earlier on, page two or so, when the thingy was just a scrapstrudel, you said it was indestructible, made of titanium)

[Radium]

<b>The thirdnote may be indestructable, but that doesn't mean any of you are strong enough to use it to break the door down.

[Xion]

Search:Room:Cracks

[Radium]

<b>The room has no cracks. It is very well made and tastes like floor polish.

[Xion]

Wait...If there are no cracks...HOW ARE WE BREATHING?


Glitch: Room

[Radium]

<b>A lack of cracks doesn't mean it's airtight. Random save time. Game saved!

[Xion]

ohno.

Check: Spellbooks: Reverse Save

[Radium]

<b>You don't find the spell. L33tz4n looks up from her book. "Is it just me, or are there no useful Sux Magic spells?" she asks.

[Xion]

Say "Every spell has it's use...it just seems we haven't found the spell for our use."

[Ekardnamal]

Control: Uberbob
Say: We found the "Freeze Timer" spell, didn't we?

[Radium]

<b>"Every spell has it's use...it just seems we haven't found the spell for our use. We found the 'Freeze Timer' spell, didn't we?" you say.
"Yeah," Araches replies, "but I somewhat doubt we'll find a use for 'melt screwdriver' or 'sulfur ward' anytime soon."

[Ekardnamal]

What, do YOU have a screwdriver, Araches?

[Radium]

<b>"No, I don't have a screwdriver," she says.

[Ekardnamal]

:'(

[Ekardnamal]

Control: Uberbob
Action: Ask party what we should do now

[Xion]

Say "well, every situation has a spell. Just keep looking."

Wish:Morale Raise

[Ekardnamal]

How about... Asking all party members to sing their favorite song. That should raise morale!!!!!

[Xion]

Control:Xion
Claim:Page
Give:Page:Araches

[Lem_Gambino]

Search for a "make roof of Sux Magic Library disappear".

[Radium]

<b>Your party doesn't seem to be in the mood for singing. L33tz4n closes the last unchecked book. "Well, that's it," she says, "we're screwed."

[Xion]

Use one of Uberbob's appendages for the missing bolt.

[Radium]

<b>You put your finger in the hole. Ballista operational!

[Xion]

USE THE BALLISTA ON THE DOOR!

[Radium]

<b>You fire the ballista and the door shatters. Shuri, L33tz4n, and Araches greatfully walk out of the small room, stretch a little, and look around. It's about eight at night. Fooruman stays behind. "I'll wait here for a bit," he tells you, "these books have much to teach me and they taste like salt."
Exits are east and south.

[Lem_Gambino]

*hits head on keyboard while laughing*
Go: East.

[Radium]

<b>L33tz4n, Araches, Shuriken, and you travel east. You have reached the gray trees again, though the fog makes them impossible to see at night. Exits are west, south, or to the east into the fog.

[Ekardnamal]

OMG WE FINALLY GOT OUT!!!!! :D

[Lem_Gambino]

Yes, we did.
Say: "Faw, where are you?!"
Wait. If you don't hear anything that sounds like Faw, continue South. If you do, head towards the sound.

[Radium]

<b>You call for Faw, but there's no reply. You head south. You are in another normal link of forest. Exits are north and west.

[Xion]

WEST

[Lem_Gambino]

Go: West, South.

[Ekardnamal]

Did we get Zodiac back?

[Radium]

<b>Yes, Zodiac is still with you. You and your tired party enter the link of forest to your west and then go south. A seemingly abandoned ghost town stands ahead of you. Along the main street is a rickety old inn, a general store with shattered windows, and an ancient blacksmith's shop. One of those western bush things comes from nowhere and dramatically bounces across the road.

[Blackraptor]

Action: Save Game
Action: Go into the general store.
View: Surroundings
Search: For Useful items

[Radium]

<b>The general store is locked. An old sign on the front reads "Closes at six on Sundays".

[Risp_old]

what day and time is it?

[Radium]

<b>Eight thirty. Sunday.

[Risp_old]

wait till the shop opens

[Radium]

<b>After reading books for six hours, Araches states that she's not in the mood to wait outside a building for another four.

[Lem_Gambino]

Call out to Faw again.
Go: Inside Inn.
Check: For Innkeeper(s).
Ask: About room prices.

[Radium]

<b>You call for Faw again. No reply. So, you enter the inn. The inside appears less dreary than the outside, but it still has a haunted feel to it. The inkeeper is sitting behind the counter, dead.

[Risp_old]

ask him what the room prices are

[Radium]

<b>You ask the innkeeper about the room prices. "What have you got?" he asks.

[Lem_Gambino]

Check Inventory.

[Radium]

<b>Intentory:
-Thirdeighteennoteevenbettercitrusfruitylazerlighty superflyingfullyclotheductscraptlegalfourseatsestr udelire
-Druid Robe
-Pearldiver's Knife
-Magic Map
-Magic Mirror
-Leprechaun Foot
-Bookmark of Eternity
-Sear's Exorcism Kit
-Zodiac, Evil Doll
-Ballista
-Gem
-Spring
-Berry
-Leaves
-Wildflowers
-Fruits (2)
-CrazyT

[Violet CLM]

"We've got magic."

[Radium]

<b>"Good job," the inkeeper replies.

[Sciz CT]

Anyone else worried that we're not only talking to a dead guy, but attempting to stay in his inn?

Offer: Leprechaun Foot for room

[Risp_old]

No</i>

[Radium]

<b>"Hm. Okay, you get two rooms because severed limbs are cool," says the zombie inkeeper, handing you two keys. "Rooms are upstairs. Don't feed the bats, they don't know where the food ends and your finger begins, and they don't really care anyway because they eat human flesh."

[Lem_Gambino]

Control: Araches.
Go: Into one of the rooms.
Cast: Bats: Shadow Ring.
Repeat with other room.
Put Araches and Uberbob in one room and Shuri and Leetzan in the other.
Sleep until HP and MP are full.

[Radium]

<b>Araches casts Shadow Ring in both rooms and dead bats fall from the celing. She refuses to stay in your room, though.

Uberbob(Move:2)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP50.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP30.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP20.gif
L33tz4n(Move:2)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP70.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP20.gif
Shuriken(Move:4)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP60.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/MP20.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP30.gif
Araches(Move:2)http://www.foxmage.com/threeone/HP50.gifhttp://www.foxmage.com/threeone/AP10.gif

[Sciz CT]

Get: Dead bats.

Put Araches and L33tz4n in one room, Uberbob and Shuri in the other.

Action: Sleep.

[Radium]

<b>Bats carry disease. Don't touch them, fool.

The rooms are rather fancy and nice. They have the standard-issue-haunted-inn torn curtains, dusty lamps, old couch, and suit of rusted armor in the corner. Shuriken makes you sleep on the couch becuse she's better than you. After Shuri is asleep, you think you hear a hearbeat coming from under a floorboard, but you know Radium is just being over-cliche.

[Violet CLM]

Dance around to rock music only you can hear.

[Radium]

<b>You dance around for a bit and then get bored. The music is kind of bad.

[Violet CLM]

Let Zodiac loose.
Go to sleep.

[Lem_Gambino]

Send Zodiac to raid the fridge, and find any useful items.
Sleep until HP and MP are full, durnit!

[Ekardnamal]

Steal the suit of armor.

[Radium]

<b>The armor is too heavy to steal.

You let Zodiac out and go to sleep. You wake up at 8 AM. Nothing exciting seems to have happened, except Zodiac has returned with a spoon he no doubt stole.

[Lem_Gambino]

Add Spoon to Inventory.
Gather the other party memebers.
Talk to the Inkeeper and ask what caused the town to be all dead and everything.

[Radium]

<b>You take the spoon and find Araches, L33tz4n, and Shuriken. Downstairs, the inkeeper is gone, but some other random people are hanging around the tavern-like inn lobby.

Interesting people to talk to:
-Pandora
-Grandma Conquista
-Fawriel
-George Washington

Please word dialoge like "Say: 'Hello'" instead of "Greet them". It saves me thinking.

[Risp_old]

Say: "Hi, George! How's it been?"
Say: "Faw! What have you been up to?"

[Radium]

<b>You walk over to a table with George Washington's ghostly figure and Fawriel. "Hi, George! How's it been?" you ask.
"I cannot tell a lie," he says, "my stock in Microsoft has gone way up! I will show the British one day with my mad investment skills!
"Faw! What have you been up to?" you say to Fawriel.
"Oh, I got bored of reading and left. Then I went here," he replies.

[Risp_old]

Say: "How did you leave, Faw?"

[Radium]

<b>"I took the trapdoor out," he explains.

[Risp_old]

Say to Pandora: "Why did you leave so many puzzels on your island?"

[Radium]

<b>You walk over to the table where Grandma Conquista and Pandora's Ghost are seated. "Why did you leave so many puzzles on your island?" you ask her.
"Oh, that," she says, pausing to think, "well, I like confusing people. Who are you?"

[Risp_old]

Say: "I am Uberbob. I defeated Wafflelord in his own mind! I mastered the puzzels on your island and took your car! I once traded a solid gold toothbrush for a rubber tire!"
Try to look impressive.

[Radium]

<b>"Hm. Okay," she says.

[Lem_Gambino]

Ask: George: "We are trying to defeat the evil Wizard Unfooruman. Can you help us in anyway? And while we're at it, how did you come back from the dead?"

Pageclaim, since everyone seems to be so lazy.

[Radium]

<b>"Oh, I'm not back," he says, "I'm just visiting. I am afraid the only way I can assist you is with knowledge. What do you need to know?"

[Lem_Gambino]

Say: "Anything about Unfooruman's fortress and how to get through it, and any weaknesses he may have."

[Radium]

<b>"I can not tell a lie; all I know is that there's a puzzle elsewhere on the island which opens the door on his fortress."