Just like back in the pre-Win3.1 days...

[Ek!rdnamal]

Acti/n: Drag Fox bac+ into h)s room
Action: Attempt to mug (im
Act)on: Per3uade ot(ers to -ug him 4oo

[Radium]

No, ATWFF isn't dead, niether is PLTP. Both are just temporarily paused so I can regain my sanity. Physics states that matter can not exist in the exact same place as other matter because it has mass, so theoretically I have to release my insanity before I can regain my sanity. This thread should do nicely. The rules are simple, it's like role-playing, but is sux. I'll write something, you'll reply with the course of action you wish to take. At the end, we'll be able to compile it into a "SpazQuest" style story. YAyfun, let's go.

<b>Your name is Uberbob. You are a rabbit, except you only have one ear for unknown reasons. You are currently in a boat surrounded by seemingly endless ocean. Your invintory contains a small carry-out box of chinese food, a golden toothbrush, and a titanium spork. Your boat is leaking. Bad. In fact, the reason there is a three-foot-wide hole in the bottom of your boat is somewhat related to why you only have one ear. What would you like to do?</b>

First person to reply to this with an answer could determine the entire story =o.

[Strato]

I will repair the boat by making rice ropes and sewing it together. I will then listen with my one ear for the nearest spot place.



Or

I will eat the chinese food with the spork and brush my teeth.

[Radium]

<b>Since you have no toothpaste and don't know what a "spot place" is, you come to a compromise and make riceropes to floss your teeth. Your boat is essentially gone now, and the water is up to your waist. What do you wish to do now?</b>

[Kaz]

<b>Since you have no toothpaste and don't know what a "spot place" is, you come to a compramise and make riceropes to floss your teeth. Your boat is essentially gone now, and the water is up to your waist. What do you wish to do now?</b>

compromise*

[Fawriel]

I try to remember how to do something they taught me in sports class.. what was it called again.....

[Radium]

<b>Trying to remember the useless bit of information taught to you in sports class, you decide to execute a football tackle on your boat's mast, the only part still above water. The mast shatters, and sinks because it's made of lead. What now?</b>

[Fawriel]

I wonder why the heck I remembered the football stuff while I was actually trying to recall how to swim.

[Radium]

<b>Lead poisoning from the mast has prevented you from recalling how to swim. You are sinking. Course of action?</b>

[Fawriel]

I grab the instruction booklet "Swimming for dummies".I swim, notice my foot has gotten stuck inside an algae. I swim on, noticing my feet have gotten stuck inside a barrel of wine. I swim on, noticing my head has gotten stuck inside a boat on which two gay magicians are performing magic tricks.

EDIT!

[n0]

Die.

[Radium]

Going with what Faw said, he beat N0.

<b>After getting your head unstuck, you manage to climb into the magicians' boat. You feel as though you could easily defeat the magic duo. Do you wish to engage them in combat or do some other crazay thang?</b>

[Fawriel]

<s>Noticing one of the magicians was Rad-</s>

Okayokay, just kidding! XD

I'll leave the next post to someone else.

[n0]

Try to befriend the magicians and ask them to come with you on your quest.

`N0

[Fawriel]

Now THAT'S a "crazay thang". o_o;;

[Radium]

<b>You talk to the two gay magicians and request they join you. The female one (you did not ask their gender) agrees to join you if you defeat the other in combat. Accept?</b>

[acid]

I Accept challenge, and attack with the spork.

[Radium]

http://www.foxmage.com/fierce-battle.mid
<b>Midi Music: Mandatory; Autocombat: On.

> Uberbob attacks
Magician loses 15 HP
> Magician casts fireball
Uberbob dodges
> Magician casts iceball
Uberbob dodges
> Magician casts rockball
Uberbob dodges
> Magician casts airball
Uberbob dodges
> Magician casts noball
Magician loses 4231812425215 HP
Magician is dead and crispy!

Uberbob is victorious!

Having defeated the magician, the other one joins your party. The other magician has joined your party! Your spork is broken )<

[acid]

Your spork is broken )<

OMG :(:(:(

I ask the other magician if she can fix the spork.

[Radium]

<b>The other magician tries to fix the spork. The spork is melted. You now have a sporkpuddle. "Other magician" will now be refered to as "Random H(appy) Sorceress" or just RHS, or just Araches.</b>

[Fawriel]

I use the sporkpuddle to make a little gun which I use to mindlessly shoot into the air to look like a crazy Mexican.

[Radium]

<b>You are unable to construct a gun out of liquid.</b>

[acid]

I gather the sporkpuddle in Random container object for later usage.

EDIT: I eat the chinese food, and put the sporkpuddle in the empty chinese food box.

[Radium]

<b>Sporkpuddle has been placed inside Chinese Carryout Container. Your invintory now contains: Chinese container (with sporkpuddle), golden toothbrush, and Araches.</b>

[Fawriel]

I wonder what kind of programmer makes a person an item and wander off into the funny looking castle that just appears to be there.

[Radium]

<b>You wander towards the castle that happens to be on the boat you have not yet explored. The castle gate is locked, however there is an irrelevent note pinned to it with an extremely useful looking thumbtack.</b>

[acid]

I take the note and thumbtack.

[Radium]

<b>You take the irrelevent note and the extremely useful looking thumbtack. You are unable to read the note because it is irrelevent, however you notice that the thumbtack has the entire length of Harry Potter 4 and 5 engraved into it in size .0000000000001 print.</b>

[acid]

I roll the irrelevent note into a cylinder, and place the thumbtack inside, making a blowdart gun.

[Radium]

<b>You have constructed the deadlyful Blowdart Gun.</b>

[Ninja]

Shoot MC with the "deadlyful Blowdart Gun"

[Radium]

<b>Master Cheater, who happens to be standing next to you, is shot in the head. Your invintory now contains: Box with sporkpuddle, irrelevent note, toothbrush, and MC's dead body with a tack in it. And that magic lesbian girl or whatever Faw came up with.</b>

[Fawriel]

I wait until MC's body starts to build gas so I can use him as a raft. Unfortunately, Uberbob is too stupid to know how long that gas lasts inside MC.


I apologize for the crappy formulation. There's no dictionary around. =P

[Radium]

<b>You have created MasterRaft! The magician's boat explodes because I didn't like it in the first place. You lose your right arm in the explosion. The ear didn't make much difference, but now you turn noticeably counterclockwise while running. To where would you like to take the boat?</b>

[Strato]

To the SPOT PLACE!

[Radium]

<b>There IS NO ACURSED SPOT PLACE.</b>

[Fawriel]

I ask my dictionary what "acursed" means.

[Radium]

<b>You don't have a dictionary. You're floating in the ocean on a dead body with a sorceress. And no, the irrevelent note isn't a dictionary, it's irrelevent. To say "acursed" right, you really have to roll the "r" and pronounce the "d" like a "t".</b>

[acid]

I take the tack out of MasterRaft and put it back in the blowdart gun.

[Radium]

<b>Oh no! Your MasterRaft is deflating! Air from the formerly plugged hole cools the sporkpuddle into sporkprism.</b>

[Fawriel]

prism*

[Fawriel]

Pageclaim in the name of yay.

I tell the sorceress to burn the sporkprism again so it becomes a sporpuddle I can fill the holes with.
Suddenly, there's an island to be seen shaped like a donut.

[Radium]

<b>You see the donut shaped island, but find that the prism is indestructable.</b>

[n0]

Pop the end of the Master Raft that is away from the island with the tack, and get blow straight towards the Island, which shall henceforth be dubbed "Spinach Custard".

`N0

[Radium]

<b>You collide with the south coast of Spinach Custard. The mage girl I forget the name of dies. You lose your right leg and thumbtack. Your invintory now contains: Golden toothbrush, Sporkprisim, and Box.</b>

[Xion]

I find a tree on the island, and break two sticks off to create a makeshift arm and hand. I then break off two more sticks to create a makeshift leg. I then use the Golden Toothbrush to remove the rest of the bark off of the tree.

[Radium]

<b>You're now like a cyborg except made mostly of wood. And you have obtained Smooth Log.</b>

[n0]

Take more twigs from more trees, put them in a pile, blace the bark removed from Smoothe Log under the pile of twigs, put and then angle the SporkPrisim so that the sunlight is intinsified and magnified onto a peice of the bark.

[Radium]

<b>Instead of starting a fire, the Sporkprism is baked in the sun. You have obtained Sporkstrudel!</b>

[n0]

Eat SporkStrudel

[Radium]

<b>You break most of your teeth. You have obtained most of your broken teeth! Invintory now contains: Box, Sporkstrudel, Teeth, Irrelevent Note, and Toothbrush.</b>

[n0]

Open Box

[Grath]

Break the SporkStrudel and make false teeth with it, using your indestructable wooden arm.

[acid]

stuff happens

[Radium]

I'll do all that since they don't affect eachother.

<b>You open the box. It is empty, since you already used all the chinese food for something or other and if there was any left the trout ate it. And the Sporkstrudel is indestructable, made of titanium. And some stuff happens.</b>

[Fawriel]

The stuff somehow manages that the lesbian mage person turns into a machine gun with a rubber duck clipped to it and that Uberbob manages to swim to the ocean ground where he finds weird aliens, for stuff is good and therefor shall not be questioned.

[Radium]

<b>The sorceress died. Pay attention next time.

All of a sudden, a demonic green ferret thing with blue hair and unproportionally large eyes walks up to you and starts talking about something you really don't care about.</b>

[Fawriel]

The ferret happens to be Radium who was also affected by the stuff. All of the sudden, a volcano erupts and kills him. A pile of mage-ash was added to your inventory.

[Radium]

<b>The ferret forever hates you for mistaking him for Radium!
You have started a combat with Fawriel!
http://www.beute.plus.com/trafton/mp3s/Two_Piece_Squirrel_-_That_Time_When_the_Stuff_Happened.mp3
Mp3 Music: Mandatory; Autocombat: On.

> Uberbob attacks
Fawriel dodges
> Fawriel casts sux ball
Uberbob is sux!
>Uberbob defends.
>Fawriel attacks
Uberbob loses 23 hp
>Uberbob attacks
Fawriel loses 12 hp
>Fawriel casts mass badhurt
Uberbob loses 44 hp
Fawriel loses 44 hp
Fawriel has one hp left! Attack?</b>

[Fawriel]

No. Instead, Fawriel <s> turns out to be Radium</s> ends the battle by jumping to a far off place and leaving Uberbob behind suxing.

[Radium]

<b>Stop trying to control other characters and natural events. Make your own bloody thread for that, it's my job here. Attack Fawriel?</b>

[Fawriel]

No.

[Radium]

<b>You instead smash him on the head with the Sporkstrudel. Your invintory now contains: Sporkstrudel, Unconsious Faw, Box, Note, and the Smooth Log that seemed to dissapear for a while.</b>

[Fawriel]

I correct the spelling in the Faw item.

[Radium]

<b>Well, maybe I don't WANT it to be spelled right. Just because you asked, it's now called "Unconchis Faw".</b>

[Fawriel]

<s>I wonder when the undestrucable sporkprism turned back into a sporkstrudel</s> I use the log and the box to build a rod and look out for bait.

[Radium]

<b>You find a delicious looking brick wall! Do you wish to use it as bait?</b>

[Fawriel]

I wonder where the brick wall came from in the middle of the ocean.

[Radium]

<b>You're on an island, durnit! There's lots of people who put brick walls on islands.</b>

[Fawriel]

I search for a useful bait around the wall.

[Radium]

<b>You find Xion's soul!</b>

[Ducky]

It's pink.


(sorry, n/m I'm not here.)

[Fawriel]

I put it into the box cos it "does not have a very pleasing odor" and find that the box is part of the rod, so I just try to use it.
I use the rod and catch a Good Squid.

[Radium]

<b>You catch a trout instead.</b>

[Strato]

I will refine a small portion of metal that just so happened to be laying on the ground into a hook. I stab Xions soul repeatedly, but due to the fact that the hoox suxors, the Xion's soul keeps on sliding off.

Edit : I was too slow, ignore this.
Editedit: Stupid strikeout tag...>(

[Radium]

<b>Xion's soul has been destroyed. You have obtained hook!</b>

[Strato]

I shall lightly poke the Faw until it wakes up.

[Radium]

<b>Faw wakes up. He probably won't attack you because you're standing over him holding a log and a brick wall.</b>

[Strato]

Do I have any money?

[Radium]

<b>No, but the most valuable thing you have is the empty Chinese carryout box, followed by the golden toothbrush.</b>

[Strato]

Does Faw have any money?

[Fawriel]

No.

But he has a page.
Pageclaim.

[Violet CLM]

Use Faw as bait.

[Radium]

<b>No, but you kick Faw in the groin and take his page. You have obtained page three! you invintory now contains:
-Faw
-Sporkstrudel
-Box
-Note
-Page3
-Brick wall
-Log

Faw can not be used as bait because Europians taste like brusselsprouts.</b>

[Violet CLM]

Pick up golden toothbrush. Attach Note to Page3 with Sporkstrudel.

[Strato]

I will pick pocket Faw and use him as bait like that guy over there told me to do.

It would be teh sux to have your life controlled by n00bs who aren't really serious about your life.

[Radium]

Sry, Inf, Unknown beat you.

<b>Uh... yeah, you have the toothbrush too. Hey, it's not like I'm writing this down or anything. You combine the Sporkstrudel, Irrelevent Note, and Page3 to make the ThirdNoteStrudel.

Invintory:
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Toothbrush
-Box
-Log
-Faw
-Brick Wall
-Probably some other stuff I forgot.
</b>

[Fawriel]

...

[Violet CLM]

Ask Faw if he can heal Araches.

Turn Box and Brick Wall into Shelter.

[Grath]

Use the SporkStrudel to carve the Smooth Log into a log boat

[Strato]

Now i will pick pocket faw, and what about the trout we caught?

EDIT : NOT AGAIN! MY THREAD IS BEING INVADED. SHOO SHOO!

[Radium]

In reply to all:

<b>You make a shelter out of the box and brick wall. Faw can not heal Araches because he is bent over in pain because you just unwillingly kicked him in the groin. And you try make a boat, but mess up and accidently carve it out longways, making it a tube.

And Faw has no pockets. And... er... the trout ran away.</b>

[Violet CLM]

Feed Faw Trout, add Tube to Shelter.

[Strato]

I"ll straighten out the hook to make a dagger, and equip it.

[Radium]

<b>There is no darned trout. You manage to make the dagger, and you add the tube to the shelter. You have constructed Citadel!</b>

[Strato]

Now I make the 1337 strat dagger.

[Violet CLM]

Gently massage Faw with golden toothbrush until he feels better.

[Fawriel]

<b>You catch a trout instead.</b>
<jerk>

[Fawriel]

Thanks, Unknown. ^^;

[Strato]

I'll read the page 3.

[Radium]

<b>You don't know what a "Strat Dagger" is. You massage Faw (:confused:) with the toothbrush until he feels better. THE DARNED TROUT RAN AWAY!!! )<

You read page 3. It says This. (http://www.jazz2online.com/jcf/showthread.php?p=178957) </b>

[Violet CLM]

Ask Faw to heal Araches.

[Radium]

<b>Araches has been revived!</b>

[Strato]

Does arches have any money?

[Radium]

<b>No. Stop thinking about money. The world does not revolve around money. The universe does.</b>

[Violet CLM]

Thank Faw profusely and allow him to use Citadel.
Ask Araches what a Strat Dagger is.

[Radium]

<b>Faw mistakes your Citadel for an outhouse. Araches has no idea what a StratDagger is. Neither do I.</b>

[Strato]

Ask arches where the spot place is.

[Radium]

<b>Hey, the NPCs can only know as much as the gamemaker )< </b>

[Violet CLM]

Give Faw Golden Toothbrush and Thirdnotestrudel.
Tell Faw to hunt.
Ask Araches about herself.

[Fawriel]

Yay! I get to do something useful which Rad will turn into something stupid!

[Radium]

<b>Faw goes hunting (notably for that runaway trout).
You ask Araches about herself. Araches is a 25 year old homosexual sorceress that skipped grades 1, 3, 3(again) and 7 and has six years of college education in the dark arts.</b>

[Strato]

Kinda odd, faw hunting with random objects when we have a nifty dagger right here.

Ask arches about what dark arts she knows of.

[Radium]

<b>What kind of fool would give Faw a knife?</b>

[Violet CLM]

Check Inventory.
Check Gender.
Study dark arts.

[Radium]

<b>Your invintory contains:
-Araches
-Dagger

Your gender is:
-Male

You can not study the dark arts without an eraser, illegal MP3 CD, and bag of popsicles.</b>

[Strato]

*Takes the eraser off of the puncil he is using to write the commands down*

Got one, but now I can't edit my posts. >(

[Violet CLM]

Let Araches be real person, instead of an item.
Hope Faw can hunt up Eraser, Illegal MP3 CD and Bag of Popsicles.

[Radium]

<b>If we could just bring any item from real life into a game, I'd take a cruise ship (no eraser, sry). You decide to catagorize your invintory better. Your invintory/party contains:

-Dagger (Invintory)
-Eraser (Invintory)
-Araches (Party)

[Violet CLM]

Ask Araches if she has Illegal MP3 CD and/or Bag of Popsicles.

[Radium]

<b>All Araches has are the clothes on her back.</b>

[Strato]

Does that mean I can still edit my posts?

Page claim in the name of Spot Place.

if rspss reads this he gets 3 cookies.

[Radium]

<b>Yes.</b>

[Violet CLM]

Check Araches' species.
Carve words onto Citadel using Dagger.

[Radium]

<b>Araches is female. And a... er... *randomises* fox. You carve the phrase "Your all stupid" into the Citadel.</b>

[Fawriel]

Be happy since she doesn't own pants (according to you ... the narrator. )

EDIT: Whoa, was a little slow here, eh?

[Violet CLM]

Put down Dagger, attempt to kiss Araches.

[Radium]

<b>"Clothes on her back" is a sane, fool! It includes pants. And Araches does not wish to kiss you because she has no attraction to you.</b>

[Grath]

You ask Araches to marry you

[Strato]

Awww :(

[Strato]

Changes name to unberbob

[acid]

Gad, this thread has been hijacked!

I appear in this story for no apparent reason and thwack Faw, Arches, and UBERDOOD.

[Strato]

I magicly appear in the story and backhand acid.

[Radium]

<b>As stated, Araches has no attraction to you. Ask Pic, he's the one that made up her sexuality. Acid and Spazzyman both appear and kill eachother before your very eyes with such power that they leave nothing behind.</b>

[Strato]

Takes the dagger and walks in circles until magicly enemies appear and a random encouter is initiated.

[Radium]

<b>This is an adventure game, not an RPG. Go... play FF for something.</b>

[acid]

KABOO

I'm thinking of starting my own thread like this, this is too hijacked >_<

[Violet CLM]

"I'm sorry, Araches. I was possessed or something."

[Radium]

I'm thinking of starting my own thread like this, this is too hijacked >_<
Do and my lawyers who don't oppose blood will make stuff happen.

<b>You say "Sorry, Araches. I was posessed or something" and she forgives you. Faw returns from the hunt. He has caught the notorious runaway trout and an Admin named Piz. Your invintory:

Thirdnotestrudel (invintory)
Araches (party)
Faw (party)
Toothbrush (invintory)
Trout (invintory)
Citadel (structure)
Dagger (invintory)
Piz (invintory)
</b>

[Violet CLM]

Make Piz Party.
Offer Trout to Araches.
Ask Faw if he saw anything unusual.

[Strato]

Die trout! I stab the trout with the daggar.

I ask piz if he has any special powers.

[Radium]

<b>You kill the trout, cook it, and share it with Araches. It's only a two-serving trout, so Faw eats Piz. Sry, no party member there. You ask Faw if he saw anything unusual, and he says he saw a temple thing in the middle of the island.</b>

[Strato]

I (as in the real me who happens to still be here) go off and investiagte the temple.

[Violet CLM]

Put Thirdnotestrudel on Fire used for cooking Trout.
Ask Faw if he lives on this island.
Throw Dagger at Inf. Spaz.

[Radium]

<b>The infinite power of the Sporkstrudel embound in the Thirdnotestrudel prevents it from burning, the trout is cooked with burning wood. You ask Faw if he lives on the island, and he replies "no". Even though Inf.Spaz is already dead, you kill him again, with such force nothing of him remains.</b>

[Violet CLM]

Sit next to Araches.
Ask Faw how he came to be on Spinach Custard.

[Radium]

<b>Faw tells you that he came to be on Spinach Custard when the evil Blackraptor banished him to a far away land. And... well, this is far away.</b>

[acid]

Rise up as a god

[Violet CLM]

Yawn.
Fall asleep on Araches.

[Radium]

<b>You try to rise up as god, but end up falling over and hurting yourself. You are tired, so you go to sleep (preferably in your citidel). No, you can't sleep with Araches, perv.</b>

[Violet CLM]

Stalk into citadel.
Go to sleep on Box.
Transfer control to Araches.

[Radium]

<b>Araches is already asleep. You go to sleep on the box and smash it (ever seen a chinese carryout box? Those things are TINY). You have obtained: Smashed Box.</b>

[acid]

http://www.marable-family.net/eli/Images/Jazzblood.jpg

[Radium]

<b>You oppose blood, however, nothing happens. Maybe you should do something, since you're laying half asleep on a smashed box that smells vaugely like teriaki.</b>

[acid]

<b>You oppose blood, however, nothing happens. Maybe you should do something, since you're laying half asleep on a smashed box that smells vaugely like teriyaki.</b>

Whee, I get to correct our local correcter. You've been getting stuff wrong a lot lately.

[Radium]

It's the heat. I'll be correcting you to death once Fall's here.

[Fawriel]

I promote the destruction of ozone.

[Radium]

I promote the destruction of ozone.
What would you want more: Me to be smarter or the survival of your precious little "Ozone Layer"? Eh? EH? That's what I thought. Now get back on topic.

[Fawriel]

That WAS ontopic.

[acid]

What would you want more: Me to be smarter than you or the survival of your precious little "Ozone Layer"? Eh? EH? That's what I thought. Now get back on topic.

again.

[Violet CLM]

Fling Smashed Box out into the night.
Yell "GET SOME REST!".
Go to sleep.
Wake up sometime later.
Check 'camp' to see if anything happened.

[Radium]

<b>You go to sleep and wake up later, feeling exactly as you did before you went to sleep. You go to see if anything happened outside. The smashed box you threw hit and killed a endangered eagle. You put it in your invintory before the Green Peace people attack you.
Party:
-Araches
-Faw
-You

Invintory:
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Dead Eagle
-Golden toothbrush
-Dagger
-Smashed Box

Structures:
Citadel (location: Spinach Custard)
</b>

Pageclaim.

[Violet CLM]

Send Faw to hunt Green Peace people.
Pick up Dagger and Thirdnotestrudel (if not already done).
Search for Temple Thing in the Middle of the Island with Araches.

[Radium]

<b>Fawriel tells you that Green Peace is just a story made up to scare small children. He joins you on your walk to the temple. When you get there, you find that the temple has a fifty foot wide moat around all sides of it.</b>

[Strato]

I will cut down some trees, and make a bridge.

[Radium]

<b>You accidently get carried away while creating the bridge, and make an amazingly complex bridge wth a built in garrison across 50 feet of water. It took so long to make, it's dark now. Enter the temple?

Invintory:
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Dagger
-Smashed Box
-Dead Eagle
-Golden Toothbrush

Party:
-Uberbob, Level 1 Male Prophet
-Fawriel, Level 1 Male Hunter
-Araches, Level 1 Female Mage

(not like I'm really going to keep track of levels or classes, but it makes it look fancy, no?)

Structures:
-Citadel (Spinach Custard)
-Garrison (Spinach Custard)
</b>

[Strato]

First I go to some bushs and pick some random, prolly poisoned berries and take them with us inside the temple.

[Radium]

<b>Obtained a bag of Noberries (don't ask where the bag came from). You enter the temple. It's almost pitch black inside, apart from glowing gems lining the walls. The path ahead slowly spirals downward before splitting into two directions. Which will you take?</b>

[Strato]

I look down both paths first, then disregarding whatever radium says that I saw, I take the left path.

[Radium]

<b>Disreguarding the magnificent golden box that lies down the right path, you take the left one. You don't have to walk far before you encounter a strange creature with glowing white eyes in a purple robe. A snake's tail flicks menacingly behind it's back. It stares at you, silently, unmoving. What stupid remark do you wish to say?</b>

[Strato]

<b> What stupid remark do you wish to say?</b>

Radium knows me so well, but anyway, I'll let somebody else handle this for a while.

[Violet CLM]

"Fear not, Araches! I shall slay this foul creature!"
Put Smashed Box on top of the white eyes.

Edit: Many apologies for this typo!

[Radium]

<b>Brave words for someone who couldn't get a name right. The creature says in it's echoey voice "Thou shalt not pass this point, for I am a minion of the Snufuss" and eats the box. The creature is attacking! Do what? </b>

[Strato]

I shall stab it in the eyes, and then run away even if it survives, and if it catches me I shall offer it my NoBerries

[Radium]

<b>A stab in the eye makes it hiss and die rather quickly. The tunnel continues forward, only without lights. Continue following?</b>

[Strato]

No.

[Radium]

<b>Okay then, what DO you want to do?

On a side note, the invisible gremlins you didn't know were at the Citadel have upgraded it to a Castle. What do you wish to name it?</b>

[Fawriel]

Faw's Domain.

And I want to eat something.

[Strato]

Name it Fort BStratN. I will hug my dagger because it has been so useful.

[Radium]

Faw beat Inf ):

<b>Endangered eagle is an ideal snack. You offer some to the rest of your party, Araches takes some but Faw can't hear you because his inbox is full.

Invintory:
-Feathers
-Eagle Skeleton
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Dagger
-Golden Toothbrush
-Bag of Noberries

Party:
-Uberbob
-Araches
-Fawriel

Structures:
-Faw's Domain
-Garrison


What now?</b>

[Strato]

You didn't even listen to my stupid reply!!! :( :( :(

[Radium]

<b>You hug your dagger. Luckily, it is hard to stab yourself considering you are mostly wood. Happy now?</b>

[Strato]

yes

[Radium]

<b>Good. Now there's a dark tunnel in front of you, and a magnificent golden box a ways back. Destination? Orders?</b>

[Strato]

I guess ill be a bit more serious now. I'll waltz back to the golden box, but check the rooms for traps before entering it.

[Fawriel]

I open the menu by pressing select, enter the job menu and get the Geomancer job, which enables me not to be damaged on damage floors, to spot trap-holes and to use nature to attack.

[Radium]

<b>Right off the bat you know that the room contains no traps, because there is a big sign in front of it saying "THIS ROOM IS FULL OF DEADLY TRAPS. THEY DO EXIST. NO NEED TO TEST THEM.". You enter it and pick up the small golden box. It's taped shut, and evidently the previous owner didn't want anyone getting in, as they used DuctTape. You have obtained Pandora's Box!

And Pic, there is no menu; this is an immatation of a Dos game.</b>

[Fawriel]

<s>I open the menu by pressing select, enter the job menu and get the Geomancer job, which enables me not to be damaged on damage floors, to spot trap-holes and to use nature to attack.
<again></s>

EDIT: Oh.

[Strato]

Mmmmm, that dead eagle sure tasted good. I'll go back down to that dark tunnel, look both ways, and continue on.

[Radium]

<b>You continue down the lightless tunnel. It's not long before you encounter a small underground village populated by more Minions. All seem to be ignoring you. Many identical stone houses line the walls.</b>

[Fawriel]

I realize I'm in Germany.

[Radium]

<b>No, Germany's above ground.</b>

[Fawriel]

I must know better than you, don't I?

[Strato]

I'll look for a large overly pixelated sign that says INN.

[Fawriel]

You don't find one, but a nifty low-poly sign saying "Gaststätte" instead.

[Radium]

<b>There isn't one. All the fronts of the buildings are blank. But there is a nice sign in the middle that reads "LAIR OF THE SNUFUSS. POPULATION: EVIL.</b>

[Fawriel]

Germany, I say, it's just the same.

[Strato]

I'll ask Arches if she has any money, then compusivly steal the sign.

[Radium]

<b>ARACHES HAS A DOLLAR!! :D

The sign is bolted down to prevent you compulsive unlimited-invintory adventure game characters from doing just that.
</b>

[Strato]

Ok, I'll waltx right into one of the houses. The more than likly won't have it locked or will care.

[Radium]

<b>You walk towards the randomly selected house. Another Minion comes out of it, and just stares at you. She/he/it is just standing there. Standing. Staring. And it's freekie)<

Invintory:
-Feathers
-Eagle Skeleton
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Dagger
-Golden Toothbrush
-Bag of Noberries
-Dollar
-Pandora's Box

Party:
-Uberbob
-Araches
-Fawriel

Structures:
-Faw's Domain
-Castle

The unknown gremlins have upgraded the Snufuss Lair garrison into a castle! Name?</b>

[Strato]

I'll say pardon me to the minion and shove him to the floor and enter his house. I'll name the Castle Fort Strato.

Page claim in the name the Dollar.

[Radium]

<b>The house is empty, except for some evil tape-removing machine too heavy to pick up.</b>

[Fawriel]

I ask the minion guy if he has a bag of popsicles and sit on the tape-removing machine.

[Violet CLM]

Give Faw dagger.
Send Faw to hunt through the other houses.
Add Minion to party.
Use Golden Toothbrush on tape-removing machine.
Offer Araches Noberries.

[Strato]

Stop giving arches my stuff!!! >(

Anyway, I'll go back outside and inspect the area more closely, mostly for a way out.

[Radium]

Sry, Inf. Faw and No beat you.

<b>You ask the Minion if he has a bag of popsicles. He doesn't say anything. You hand Faw the dagger and send him to hunt other houses. The Minion will not join your party. The toothbrush on the tape-remover does nothing. Araches does not want your bag of noberries, you both just ate an eagle ten minutes ago. Stop giving me so many pointless commands! >.<

Invintory:
-Feathers
-Eagle Skeleton
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Golden Toothbrush
-Bag of Noberries
-Dollar
-Pandora's Box (TAPED SHUT, TAPED SHUT, DARNIT, REMEMBER?)

Party:
-Uberbob
-Araches

Structures:
-Faw's Domain
-Fort Strato

[Strato]

!!! We ate and we didn't even brush our teeth yet!! Evil! Arches, Faw, and I will brush our theeth, go back to what we were doing, and then I will walk outside. I'll go into another house.

[Radium]

<b>Every time you want to brush your teeth, I have to remind you that you have no toothpaste )< . Blissfully ignoring the tape removal machine and it's connection to the taped closed Pandora's Box, you walk outside. There's five houses, which would you like to enter?</b?

[Strato]

Well, first I bet that opening pandora's box will make this a happnin place so I'll go back and open the box. I'll go back outside disregarding whatever happens, and enter house number 3.

[Radium]

<b>Much to your (dis)pleasure, all you find inside Pandora's Box is Pandora's Can, and none of your party has a can opener. After poking at the can with your dagger for about twenty minutes, you go outside and meet up with Faw again (who didn't find anything) and enter the third house (is that third from the left or right? And does it matter with five houses?). When you open the door, another Minion comes out, thinner and more feminine looking than the previous one. She says "Gr33t2 /\/\0r74l!!!11".

Invintory:
-Feathers
-Eagle Skeleton
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Golden Toothbrush
-Bag of Noberries
-Dollar
-Pandora's Box (empty)
-Pandora's Can
-Duct Tape
-Dagger

Party:
-Uberbob
-Araches
-Fawriel

Structures:
-Domain
-Strato
</b>

[Strato]

Ok, who has a 1337-English dictionary? Oh well, sense it is my native tounge, I should be able to compensate. I'll say 10 f00!
\/\/h47 up?

[Radium]

<b>The Minion responds "j00 5p34k 1337 1i|<3 50/\/\3 /\/008, f00.</b>

[Strato]

175 /\/\y f1r57 |)4y

[Radium]

<b>Fawriel and Araches are quite confused by now. "\/\/|-|y 4r3 j00 h3r3?//" the Minion asks.</b>

[Strato]

1 /\/33|) 4 (4/\/ 0p3/\/3r

[Radium]

<b>"1 |)0/\/7 |-|4v3 4 c4/\/ 0p3/\/3r,, 8u7 1f j00 n33|) /\/\3 70 |-|4><0r 73]-[ c4/\/, 1 c/-\ /\/. 7h353 /\/\1/\/10/\/5 5u>< c|_|z 7h3y d0/\/`7 /\/33|} H4><0rz." she replies.</b>

[Strato]

/\/0 |-|4><0r1/\/g p1z 7|-|4/\/><. 1 ju57 /\/33|) 70 |< /\/0\/\/ |-|0\/\/ 70 g0 f|_|r7|-|3r 1/\/70 7|-|15 73/\/\p13.

[Radium]

<B>"7|-|15 15 73|-| 3n|) 0f 73|-| 73/\/\p13. 7|-|3y /\/\4k3 54(r4f1c35 70 73|-| Snufuss |-|3re. 4R3 j00 p4r7 0f 70d4y15 54(r4f1c3??/ 1 4/\/\.. 17 5|_|><0rz../." she responds in fluent l33t.<B>

[Strato]

/\/0, /\/07 /\/\y 54(r1f1(3 |)4y y37. \/\/|-|y |)0/\/7 j00 j|_|57 r|_|/\/ 4\/\/4y \/\/17|-| |_|5??

[Radium]

<b>L337z4n has joined your party! Of course, no sooner than that a group of Minions decide to sacrifice all four of you. They tie you to a wall and put you in the Snufuss cage. What now?

Invintory:
-Feathers
-Eagle Skeleton
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Golden Toothbrush
-Bag of Noberries
-Dollar
-Pandora's Box
-Pandora's Can
-Duct Tape
-Dagger

Party:
-Uberbob
-Araches
-Fawriel
-L33tz4n

Structures:
-Domain
-Strato</b>

[Strato]

I'll offer the eagle skeleton as a better sacrifice

[Radium]

<b>I don't think they'll go for it. The Snufuss is now charging at you, and you're still tied to a wall.

Invintory:
-Feathers
-Eagle Skeleton
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Golden Toothbrush
-Bag of Noberries
-Dollar
-Pandora's Box
-Pandora's Can
-Duct Tape
-Dagger

Party:
-Uberbob
-Araches
-Fawriel
-L33tz4n

Structures:
-Faw's Domain
-Fort Strato</b>

[Xion]

Easy. Give Fawriel the dagger, have him cut you off, use the Golden toothbrush to blind the snuffus for a moment and RUN AWAY!

[Radium]

<b>You have Fawriel cut you lose. You try to blind the Snufuss, but somehow fail. And you also notice that you're surrounded on all sides by walls. Sucks, doesn't it?</b>

[Grath]

You take the DAGGER from Faw, and wildly poke at the Snufuss with it.
You order L337z4n to attack the Snufuss.

[Strato]

Do you really think a straightened out fish hook could kill the snufuss?

[Radium]

<b>The straightened out fish hook kills the Snufuss, splattering greenish-blue blood all over you. Gasps of horror pass through the crowd of Minions. They all throw off their purple cloaks, releaving serpent-like legless bodies from their waist down (Mermaids Gone BAd =0 ). Most of them are holding rusty iron baseball bats which they probably plan to beat you to a bloody pulp with. They outnumber you about 700 to four, so how do you wish to react?</b>

[Grath]

You react... VIOLENTLY!
You go insane, and start violently hacking apart Minions.
You have Arches cast all her most powerful defensive magic, and Faw hunt down any surviving.

[Radium]

<b>You insanely hack apart everything you can find, which is quite difficult considering you only have one weapon between the four of you. You poke things with the dagger, Faw pokes things with his finger, Araches casts random defensive stuff, L337z4n casts random offensive stuff. But there's still 698 Minions left ):. Maybe berserking isn't the best course of action here.
Invintory:
-Feathers
-Eagle Skeleton
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Golden Toothbrush
-Bag of Noberries
-Dollar
-Pandora's Box
-Pandora's Can
-Duct Tape
-Dagger

Party:
-Uberbob
-Araches
-Fawriel
-L33tz4n

Structures:
-Faw's Domain
-Fort Strato</b>

[Grath]

You use the Eagle Skeleton to make sickles for each of you, so everyone has two sickles, except Uberbob who has the dagger.

[Radium]

<b>You create weapons. It doesn't help much, since you're still outnumbered. Dangit, where is your creativity, Grath? Bush could've come up with a better war strategy.</b>

[Xion]

After they gain their weapons, use the feathers to make wings for yourself to fly away, swooping down only to rescue the rest of your party members after finding a sutible place to drop them off.

[Radium]

<b>Now Xion's got the idea. Except for the fact that it's utterly imposible to construct four pairs of wings strong enough to life a humanoid creature out of the feathers of one eagle. But at least Xion isn't TRYING.</b>

[Strato]

I yell 100|< 3\/11 /\/\1|<35 0\/3r 7|-|3r3! |-|3 |-|45 (00|<135!

[Radium]

<b>Evidently, l337 is not the standard Minion language, because they're beating you with rusty iron bats now.</b>

[Strato]

Invintory check

[Radium]

Invintory:
-Feathers
-Sickles
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Golden Toothbrush
-Bag of Noberries
-Dollar
-Pandora's Can
-Duct Tape
-Dagger

Party:
-Uberbob
-Araches
-Fawriel
-L33tz4n

Structures:
-Faw's Domain
-Fort Strato

Pandora's Box has been destroyed.

[Strato]

I'll take some of the snufuss skin, throw it over me like a coat, start going RAR RARL and say LEAVE TEH DISCIPLES ALONE. GO BACK TO YOUR HOUSES.

[Radium]

<b>Sadly, the Minions are not stupid, nor are they impressed by your act. They continue beating you with rusty iron bats. Noberries are now Nojuice. Sickles have been destroyed.</b>

[Xion]

<b>Now Xion's got the idea. Except for the fact that it's utterly imposible to construct four pairs of wings strong enough to life a humanoid creature out of the feathers of one eagle. But at least Xion isn't TRYING.</b>
dude, I said ONE pair of wings for myself, and to hoist my allies one at a time.

[Radium]

<b>Ah. Now this almost makes enough sense to work. You make a pair of wings and fly up to a ledge holding an enourmous Snufuss statue. How would you like to save your allies / get the most fun out of watching them suffer?</b>

Pageclaim in the name of Coppertop.

[Xion]

Save allies.

[Radium]

Your attention to detail is outstanding.

[Xion]

I will swoop down, grab the closest ally under the arms with my legs, and go back to the pearch.

Repeat untill all allies are saved.

[Radium]

<b>You retrive all your badly injured allies. Now you are all standing on the statue. The Minions procede to block the only entrance to the cavern.</b>

[Grath]

You use the Snufuss skin on the statue, and push it to the edge of the cliff, hoping to confuse the minions into obeying orders from it.

[Radium]

<b>You push the statue to a teetering position on the very edge of the ledge, yet the Minions do not appear confused. They gather below you, preparing to climb up to you.</b>

[Xion]

Drop the snufuss statue on them, and before it smashes to the ground, I swoop down and retrieve the skin off the statue and fly back to the perch.

[Radium]

<b>You smash all the Minions dead and retrieve the Snufuss Skin. You have conquered Snufuss Lair!

Invintory:
-Feathers
-Thirdnotestrudel
-Golden Toothbrush
-Bag of Nojuice
-Dollar
-Pandora's Can
-Duct Tape
-Dagger
-Snufuss Skin

Party:
-Uberbob
-Araches
-Fawriel
-L33tz4n

Structures:
-Faw's Domain
-Fort Strato
-Snufuss Lair</b>